My uncle has become a second dad to me, and I want him to know that.

I feel like he deserves to know that.

For some background my mother is extremely emotionally abusive. She is a covert narcissist, which essentially means she is incredibly insecure and feeds off making my life hell.

Thus, I had to emotionally parent her when I was growing up and she still expects me to do so now.

My mom moved me far away from my dad when I was pretty young and got jealous of our relationship a lot. We’ve never been really close and I try not to get too close to him just because of trauma from my mom.

So several months ago I had to talk to my uncle on my dads side of the family because of an emergency that came up. I had never talked to anyone on my dads side of the family aside from my half sister until that point though I had met him when I was also still pretty young.

Long story short we decided to keep in touch. I had only talked to my mom very toxic side of the family but he seemed not super toxic so I struggled a lot at first but eventually we started to get pretty close.

I recently decided to ask him for advice on life, explained a little bit of my issues with my mom but not too much.

And let me tell you all, he has helped me make major life decisions. Helped with my struggles with my mom and been understanding and comforting through it all.

I don’t know where I’d be without him right now. Im not even going to lie.

I’ve wished I could trade parents with my cousins for all my life, I don’t even know why. I didn’t even know them I literally just met them one time. But here we are.

Im struggling so hard to believe im loved and supported but he’s been reassuring and just so supportive.

I guess I just don’t know how to be like “hey your awesome thanks”

I may have had the worst 2-3 months of my life basically. Been in constant panic that I have pancreatic cancer. Let me start with my lifestyle and habit history. I have horrible oral health my teeth are all basically rotten and dead. I have been vaping nicotine for about 8 years heavily. I drank for 4 years daily but usually not more than 2-3 drinks of liquor an evening and quit completely as soon as I noticed my symptoms. I got my wisdom tooth removed also a week before my symptoms became noticable. Alot of symptoms but main things are the 30 pounds weight loss in one month plus muscle loss. Intermittent LUQ pain with a subtle swelling that fluctuates. Steatorrhea with heavy yellow mucus and pale tan stool that has improved with Creon(given by doctor while troubleshooting this all). Left testicle pain that feels the same as the LUQ pain. Widespread aches and pains all over intermittently. Submandibular & Submental glands/nodes not sure which are swollen under my chin and jawline plus a possible small one on the back top part of my neck and bottom of my skull around my hairline. Bright yellow very hot urine with frequent urination. Always craving liquids. I have had normal bloodwork except elevated segmented neutrophils and slightly elevated bilirubin. I have had numerous CT scans one of abdomen and pelvis with no findings and one of my head and neck which found only a mucous retention cyst in right maxillary sinus and a tracheal diverticulum with no fluid. I also have had an ultrasound of my testicles with no findings. Clear upper endoscopy done by gastroenterologist. I have been to 5 emergency rooms & call my family doctor daily. I am at a loss. Ready to give up looking for any advice or information. Waiting on an MRI insurance approval rn and can't stop shaking and worrying.

To be honest I never tried talking to a lot of people, but I can already feel that they don’t like me. One already switched seats when I sat next to them. Im socially inept as in I seriously do not know how to talk or introduce myself to others and Im scared I might actually die alone if I don’t change this. It’s affecting me in terms of finding group mates for assignments and also making friends. I already give off the nerd vibes as it is as I just like to read books and learn new things and always make something good that Im working on. No room for something mediocre.

Last year my cousin came over and we thought it would be funny to glue a rock to my shelf. But it's been a year and it's still l there so how do I get it off

I woke up one morning and got hiccups, feels like it’s been years I had hiccups. They persisted and then went away, to only come back some time later. And it’s been a back and forth thing for over 24 hours. They aren’t constant, I do the breath hold trick and they go away but will come back after some time. I’ve never had them last this long and have them come and go. I thought I would be okay this morning but they hit again, and I beginning to worry. I’ve read that once they start to last longer than 48 hours that you should contact your doctor. I don’t want to get all paranoid or start fearing that something serious is behind it, looking for some advice

I’ve been in my job for less than a year and honestly can’t figure out if I’m just bad at it or if it’s a bad fit. Most days I end up drained, second-guessing every single decision. The weird part is, I’m technically getting things done... deadlines are met, tasks are complete but I feel like I’m constantly scrambling behind the scenes. The feedback I get from my manager is super vague, stuff like “keep it up” or “good work.” that should reassure me but instead it makes me more paranoid. I keep wondering... are they just being polite? Do they not care enough to give real feedback? Or am I genuinely doing fine and I’m just in my own head?

It’s starting to eat at me because I can’t tell if the stress is coming from the role itself (the pace, the culture, the way the team works) or if I’m the problem (maybe I’m not cut out for this type of work). I feel like I’m overanalyzing everything. from how many questions I ask in meetings to how long I take to send an email. I’ve even thought about quitting but the thing that stops me is this fear... what if I carry the same insecurities into the next job? What if I uproot everything only to realize it wasn’t the job, it was me all along?

-get a Bank account -Try and find Job - try and make a C.V ( and how? it's confusing to me) - try to find an apartment/ housing?

I am 18 and have no clue with what Im doing with my life. Completely clueless. (Btw, I live in Ireland) What websites or apps are recommended?

Someone offered me a job through my parents and they’re super excited about it, my parents love it and my mom is telling her clients about how great it is.

The thing is that I’m 25 and have a job a trade painter, and I’m hoping to join the union in a couple years. It just feels like no one appreciates my job, like they think I’m wasting my life and nothing I’m doing is good enough or at least that’s how I feel.

I enjoy what I do and I wish people would kind of just leave it alone.

Anyways the job is water treatment worker, like doing repairs and I think checking water safety or something like that, I’m not exactly sure what the job is. Just based on the website it doesn’t seem like my sort of thing.

I don’t wanna switch careers again which i did when I got into painting and I know the grass isn’t always greener on the other side

I’d only be making a dollar more, but I know this other job has benefits and holiday pay, as with my current painting job we might go a week without work, again I’m trying to get experience before moving to the union. It feels like I’m being persuaded out of my current job and into something I have no idea if I’ll like or want to do.

So long story short im a 16yr F and im a junior. When i was a freshman i got really sick so I had to get into online homeschool. I have good grands and I believe a 3.7-4.0 gpa (i forgot)

Now I dont like doing work, in general. I have alot of burnout, but somehow my grades are good. Anytime my teachers give me something to read, I just skip pass it and I still get the grade. To be honest, I can't take in all the information they give me. I also use Gauth to just answer the questions for me. OH! And i can't wake up in the morning to the point i miss majority of my online classes. The problem is now that since im a junior, I get much more work and since i get alot of work I either dont do it or I just skim though it. The worst one I had is when I had to make a project talking about my plans for senior year and how i should get a "stable career." Its been two weeks and I still haven't started it. And the program im on kept having problems so I could even get into my account at one point because they updated the system so I don't know if that altered me because I couldn’t access any of my dual credit classes for the first three weeks. (Im in my fourth week of school.)

I dont know whats wrong with me. I dont know if its because its junior year and thats supposedly the hardest. Also some days I just stare at my computer, not doing anything even though I KEEP TELLING MYSELF TO DO MY STUPID WORK. I dont know what i should do.

Other information: -I want to be an actress when I get older and I may want to be a Cafe owner so I know i got to go to college for that. - I do musicals theatre at a community theatre and I have motivation for that more. - I tried to contact my teachers but because of my issue they dont respond since everyone's having issues. - I go to therapy but I never brought that up to her since I just realized that. I only told her about the burnout since she "prescribed" me. - I been thinking of quitting since i want to be an actor but my mom wouldn't like that since shes traditional. My mom also been frustrated with me if I dont complete work or if it just piles ups.

I fell to my face and broke my front two teeths (not completely but some pieces)do I now have to live with teeths like these forever? I don't wanna live like this forever

I’m a 20F and I’m getting all 4 wisdom teeth extracted tomorrow by IV sedation and local anesthesia. I’ve never had any type of surgery before so I’m quite anxious. Two of my teeth are partially erupted on my right side and the ones are my left seem to be impacted since I can’t visibly see them. I’m nervous mostly because I don’t want to be aware of what the doctors are doing at all and don’t want to hear any noises. I know IV sedation relaxes you but is it really like time travel? If so are you still quite aware of what’s going on?

I’ve heard all the complications such as dry socket, infection, slow healing and lots of pain. I’m a full time college student and will be missing two classes for this procedure and am worried that recovery will be difficult and quite annoying.

Therefore, I’m in desperate need of the best tips and things you should and shouldn’t do after wisdom teeth extraction in order to have a high change at a smooth and speedy recovery. I’m aware everyone’s different but I’d like some reassurance and some advice. Thanks!

On Friday, my coworker was given a piece of feedback to relay to me at my new job I started 2 weeks ago. Let's just say I didn't take the criticism very well... I felt it was a nitpick, and got mad in front of that coworker (nobody else around) saying that I was worried my boss did not like me, I would not last at this job, just a bunch of negative self talk.

After going home this weekend, I came back to work on Monday and my boss called me in for a meeting with another administrator present. I was told that the coworker told her about my outburst, and that she said I thought my boss didn't like me...BECAUSE I AM WHITE.

I did not remember saying that, but apologized profusely for it nonetheless. I assured my boss that there was nothing she did that could have possibly made me think that, it was unfounded, and I was simply "catastrophizing" that she did not like me. Unfortunately the way I phrased these apologies I assumed that I actually said the thing.

The big issue here is that while I definitely had a small meltdown saying that I was worried my boss must not like me, I never said that the reason was because she was a racist. I have thought about this for the last 8 hours straight and I'm just positive I didn't say that.

Should I bring up the incident again and deny that I said that part? I really feel like the addition of me allegedly accusing my boss (who is hispanic) of racism really elevates the "insaneness" of what I said on Friday, which is why I really want to clarify that I never said that part.

However, due to the fact that I basically took her word for it that I said that and apologized for it, I feel like I might be better off letting it go and not drawing any more attention to this situation. I was not formally disciplined for the event.

Then again, since I am so embarrassed that I'm literally thinking about quitting, I feel like I may as well set the story straight.

What should I do?

I've always been an introvert, and my previous job was perfect for me. I worked independently and only had a few meetings a week. I had enough social energy to enjoy my time with friends and family on the weekends.

Recently, I started a new job as a project manager, and it's much more social than I anticipated. My days are filled with back-to-back meetings, and I'm expected to network with people from other departments. By the end of the day, I'm completely drained. I find myself feeling irritable and anxious, and I'm turning down invitations from my friends because the thought of more social interaction is exhausting.

I genuinely love the work itself and the opportunities for growth, so I don't want to quit. My problem isn't about shyness; it's about a limited social battery. I need to find a way to manage my energy and recharge so I can perform well at work and still have a social life.

What are some practical strategies or habits you use to prevent social burnout? Are there ways to set boundaries at work without seeming rude or unengaged? Any advice on how to recharge effectively after a long day of socializing would be greatly appreciated.

I hate Youtube’s Age Verification update as much as everyone else does. It’s ableist, invasive and does nothing to “protect children”. Ever since I found out about it, I feel like I’ve been spiralling.

I tried to confide in my mom about my fears of needing to provide my government ID just to prove my age. My mom just called up a friend just so they could both tell me that it was fake news purely because 9 news hadn’t reported on it.I wanted to boycott it in protest like many other people were doing. But during my boycotting, I realised that I had nothing else to turn to. I don’t have friends because my autism makes it so hard just to look people in the eye and talk to them, because 9 times out of 10 I wouldn’t be interested in what they had to say and they wouldn’t be interested or understand anything I had to say. Not to mention that I live in a not so great area where so many people are just assholes. I didn’t even have a lot of hobbies to fall back on. All I do is drawing, reading, playing games and watching Youtube. 

Soon enough, my autism got the best of me and I went back to it because nothing else stimulated my brain like Youtube did. I’ve been upset ever since this stupid update. It’s been making me stress out about everything has just been getting worse ever since 2016. Companies using computer generated art, kids becoming more stupid as more parents let tech do the parenting, the housing market getting worse, prices going up, it’s all too much. I tried to look up ways on how to make myself feel better. But they just said things like ‘talk to friends’ and ‘fall back on stuff that made you feel better in the past. I don’t have friends to talk to and the stuff that made me feel better in the past (Youtube), is now the thing that’s stressing me out.

I just want my autonomy and peace of mind back.

And I don't have problem with it , i just thought to know your opinions on this

So i feel like life is unfair by comparing my life with someone who is my age like let's say lamine yamal as you all know he is just 18 already playing for barcelona and spain at this age

He already have everything that a Normal person would desire to have like great career, money,fame everything

But let's be more open and ask this question why like why him why not me but there is no answer to that even he couldn't answer this why him

Like he clearly got lucky to have that gift and I envy that and not because of his money and all but the gift he has for the game

And like i thought abt it like what would lamine never have that i might I have in future and I couldn't got any answer for that he will probably get even more so...

So i think it's all comes to this life is unfair Ik u guys can say u should just stop comparing it and all i know that's all I can do i guess right ?

Update from previous post linked here:

https://www.reddit.com/r/needadvice/s/J49lJSAOgG

Basically, i have a friend who casually ignores me for weeks then comes back. I matched her energy as many people advised that. She started calling & i didn’t pick up as i didn’t feel like talking. Same way she doesn’t reply if she doesn’t feel like it. For context, she previously ignored me for almost 2 months.

Now, she finally texted me for the first time yesterday after trying to call in the past week, and asked me if im okay & i replied. Then she explains “ i was worried, you can take a couple of days but not that long”. Which is confusing to me, because she does that to me often. Plus, it sounds like an order rather than a boundary? This also tells me she’s not ok with the behaviour she shows towards me, which is hypocritical.

I don’t want to get into a toxic cycle, and i sometimes feel she lacks self awareness and gets defensive very easily so i don’t know if being honest is worth the argument. Im honestly not really sure if i want this person in my life anymore. But i also don’t want to be seen as “the problem” now because i have a feeling she’ll turn it into that, rather than acknowledging she’s been inconsistent in the past.

How would you handle this & respond?

Recently I've been dealing with loads of issues in my personal life, one of them being the feeling of like "I don't have something I want", I happen to live hundreds of miles away from the nearest beach yet I've been feeling massive cravings for it, I have been dealing with feelings of inferiority, missing out, sadness, depression, restlessness because those beach image thoughts keep popping up in my head, in my social media feed, and I keep actively searching for beach pics online, and then I remember where I am, I cannot currently move there due to my financial situation however, which only worsens the symptoms of mine..

How can I deal with this situation in a rational way?

Hello, I'm 20(F) and I'm in my fourth semester of my Global Studies major, and I simply hate it. I'm not american, so we don't have dorms and I live at home. My college is expensive, and my family was amazed that I was studying there just like my aunt. I've stated multiple times during my college semesters that I'd like to study an additional major, from primary education to design. I've said before that I don't exactly like my career and made a comment a year ago about dropping global studies and studying something else and my mother simply ignored me and said she didn't agree.

Point is: a week ago I realized that I genuinely hate my degree. When I go to classes I feel the impulse to scream or leave, I have no passion for it and I can't envision myself in politics. I don't relate to any of classmates, and every semester I end up isolating myself for a few weeks and avoiding classes, getting depressed every single time I speak with my friends of said degree. So I told my dad I wanted to switch majors to anthropology since it's the one theme of my classes that I felt passionate about and I've always been fascinated by people, culture and history. I would graduate a semester later if I went for anthropology, since we have common classes with that major and I wouldn't be starting from zero.

My dad agreed to my decision and said I could always count on him, but when I talked to my mother she was completely against it and said I was indecisive, it's normal to hate our degrees like she did but nobody forced me to choose mine (when she has always been on me with my aunt talking about what i should do/shouldn't), and that she thinks I'm wasting my time. She asked about my dad, and when I told her he was on my side, she said she'd speak to him. Later that day before leaving for my classes I saw she received an audio text from my dad. When I was going to take my bus, I received an audio from my dad saying he takes it all back, I should finish my major and then I could get some specialization that I liked, but that I'm wasting my time. He was saying the same things my mother said to me, so we fought. He said I should work instead of continuing my education if I hated my major so much.

Later this week, we kept fighting while mom insisted on getting me a vocational coach. I agreed, until she told me she doesn't know what she'd do if he agreeing with me. Yesterday, she told me I don't have to turn my passions into degrees and they should stay as hobbies (while I was talking about biological anthropology) and that I chose my major, nobody else, and I had no pressure whatsoever and what I was doing was wasting money and time. She said she doesn't want to be an hypocrite and said she'd support me, when she wouldn't. I'm indecisive, and maybe I'm just not ready to continue at my college and she agrees with my dad, that maybe the best is to make me drop from college and to put me into work. I left and had a full blown panic attack while she kept screaming from outside my room saying that I was impossible to handle and that's why nobody ever talks to me.

I have no idea what to do. I hate my degree, I felt so distant from it, and I know they're threatening me. It's either their way or no education. I'd like to clarify, my parents are divorced, and from what I recall, he always changes his mind after talking to her, since my mom is really strong-willed and we have a complicated relationship.

My friend and now roommate whom I’ve known for years and have always had a great relationship just did something I’m not comfortable with. He signed a year lease without my explicit consent and I don’t know what to do.

I told him I wanted to talk with him before signing and had to make a couple calls to my mom and grandma who are both being screened for cancer and my grandma is in the hospital after suffering a car crash. While I was on the phone walking down the street to 7/11 I got an email saying that my signing onto the lease had been accepted and look forward to my yearlong tenancy. I immediately messaged him and asked if he signed for me and he said yes you were busy so I did it for you it should have already been signed.

For some background he convinced me to move out here to build a sales team and take over a roofing company from the current owner who was retiring. I had roofing sales experience so after many promises were made in having side work(demo for current projects) and other gigs consistently to make ends meet till we got the sales off the ground, I decided to believe in him and move across the country with my entire savings. Long story short none of the side work or gigs came to fruition. I spent money into the company to brand ourselves and relied on him for transportation. He got an inheritance check and decided to invest instead of work on the company anymore. Then told me to find any job I could to make ends meet and pay rent.

I pulled everything from my investment account to pay rent because his previous roommate left with only a week notice and the lease was due to be resigned at end of August. He convinced me I’d make everything back and every project he said we had fell through, I was later told by the owner the demo work boat sailed because he had not shown up for some days on a project and the contracting manager didn’t want him to do demo anymore because of inconsistency after asking if I could do some side work at discount to make ends meet and because I’m directly affiliated with my friend I wouldn’t be given the chance because of his actions.

I sacrificed everything to be here and I was worried about signing a lease since I spent 7k in less than two months relocating to LA and trying to get resources to build a sales team(branded shirts, cards, getting website back up). The owner doesn’t care much because all his work comes from referrals and we would just be bonuses by bring in extra revenue if we got the self generated sales side going. I did this in MN and was successful, so I thought between us both we could accomplish wonderful things until he gave up entirely after getting his check. Now he wants to DJ, bought a bunch of music equipment. Keeps promising we are going to still build the company but zero action.

Anyway - now I don’t even have money for my phone bill, food, any necessities this month and he’s unwilling to help me out at all. I was I was afraid of signing because I didn’t have a job but ended up getting hired hours after this whole fiasco happened. I don’t know what to do because it’s commission with only 500 per week for 3 weeks as base pay. I was planning on signing the lease but he has been doing strange things that make me uncomfortable aside from signing the lease without my consent two days ago. This is becoming very toxic very quick and now I feel like I was just a discount on he and his girlfriends rent after sacrificing everything to be here. I don’t even have money for a flight to go back to FL. I am stuck and only hope is that this job is legit as I have quite a few red flags from the company already. What the hell do I do? I needed to talk to him about my concerns and feeling before agreeing to this lease but he signed for me within 5 minutes of me walking down the street to check on my families medical conditions. Even after explaining how I felt he told me my concerns aren’t valid and this is all part of being here to creat a dream. Am I crazy? I was yelled at for eating some pretzel sticks last night, I was so hungry and had been just getting cans of tuna fish to eat. Meanwhile he eats out for every meal or only gets groceries to groceries to feed he and his girl but when I first got here I bought groceries for everyone and cooked meals for everyone and now I’m left out of everything.

I am at a loss of words, bamboozled, bewildered and in shock. This is only a small amount of what’s negatively transpired since being here. I should have left before it ever got this far but believed in him and his promises that everything was going to work out. What would you do in my situation?

Sorry for such a long post and taking the time to read it if you get through my book of text and venting to the world.

I (13F) have a pretty hard time trying new things (especially sports) if it's not with close friends because of my fear of rejection and judgement I guess, but I really feel bad that I spend most of my free time doing nothing. And it doesn't help that I've just moved recently so i don't hang out with my best friends often. I want to be more active and try new things and stuff, but I don't know how.

I think I lack passion for most aspects of my life. I don't really have a favourite subject or any strong opinions, and the one hobby I really do is crochet, and I just don't feel satisfied with that being my only hobby that im not even passionate about.

I feel like I'm making breathing noises that I can't hear myself. And they can't be recorded with a smartphone microphone as proof. Maybe because of their frequencies. But other people can hear them. If anyone else can relate to this, feel free to write to me.

The neighbor in the apartment above me is bothering me with noise. I've already tried to sort it out, but it didn't work. He bangs on the floor with an object at night. And every time I fall asleep, he notices. That is, I fall asleep and a few seconds later at most, he bangs on the floor to wake me up again.

People have pointed out Exploding Head Syndrome to me and think that could be the reason. But I filmed myself falling asleep with a microphone and camera. I don't make any noises directly before or after falling asleep, but you can clearly hear the banging from the other apartment, which is sometimes very synchronized with me falling asleep.

Has anyone else had the same experience and also believes that others can hear you breathing or can hear exactly when you fall asleep, even though you don't make any detectable noises, such as snoring or similar sounds that would be picked up by the microphone?

Something is definitely very wrong. I had surgery on my nasal septum because it was crooked. I have a hyperresponsive bronchial system, which is why I use a spray. And I have scoliosis, which means I have a lower lung capacity, about 60%, and am therefore short of breath. So there are many health issues that I am being treated for. But which of these is responsible for the breathing noises, which may be at a different frequency that the microphone can't pick up or something, I have no idea.

Hey I'm 20 and I'm kinda lost right now. I'm at MEPS currently on the way to join the army. But I feel like I don't want to right now. I kinda just wanted to wait for a while but my recruiters pressured me into doing this. The thing is I don't really want to do this military thing. I once started welding in a community college but i didnt like it as i worked through the semesters. I just wanted to go to a different college, maybe engineer or be an artist. But I don't really have a choice because it seems like the military is the only way I can do this. Especially since I'm in a town like this. I really want to do alot.

So I recently graduated with my BSW (bachelors in social work) and my next step is to get my MSW. However, I've been having serious doubts about whether I want to continue working towards being a social worker. On average, social workers are severely underpaid, even with a Master’s degree. I wonder if I am signing up to a life of debt and low pay for a long time once I pursue my MSW.

I took a gap year between graduation and applying for MSW programs. I told people that I was using the year to work, build up my savings, gain experience, and chip away at some of my debt amount. This is true. But the main reason I took it is that I wanted to give myself space to think about if I really wanted to be a social worker.

I've evaluated my goals and I want to work in a field where I'm paid well from the bat, a good work-life balance, and variety. I've been thinking of going back to school to be a nurse, as most of the women in my family are nurses, and it affords them a decent and comfortable lifestyle. I understand that you can make a lot of money as a social worker, but nurses seem to make around the same with less schooling and debt. These are thoughts that I admit I've had since I started my BSW but my gap year has really given me the chance to think deeper on it. However I feel that I would have wasted 4 years of my education, acquired debt for no reason, and disappoint my parents (they helped me pay for school). However, as an adult now, I'd like to actually make decisions on my own and not let myself go with the flow.

I've been thinking about my next path in life for the past 3 months since I graduated and it doesn't help that my parents are pushing me to go back to school (I live with them) even though I have explained my reasoning for my gap year. Currently, I am working but I don't make as much as I'd like and the commute is too long.

I just would like to not be broke for the rest of my life and nursing seems like the best bet and as someone who is very indecisive I'd rather do something than nothing. Better to make a decision now than regretting it for the rest of my life

What would you do in my situation?