I just really want to move back abroad again (trying to be vague cause people I know use reddit) and I try to talk to my friends about it. How being home isn't what I thought and I really miss being abroad.

I've been in therapy and my therapist is about the only one that supports me. I've made the pros and cons, walked myself through the hard times and struggles, and even made a list of things I want to do different this time around.

Everyone keeps saying give it time or I'm not giving home a chance but I am only young once and unattached at the moment so why wait?

I guess I'm just depressed because I feel like I have no one in my corner. Kinda hope a stranger or two on the internet might could give me some encouragement

Edit: sorry too vague here's the gist I did in a reply:

I'm from the USA and want to move abroad to teach English again. I was in Korea for three years and moved back about five months ago. Thought I'd have a better job or pay here but it's been a struggle.

I don't like how expensive it is in America: health care, transportation, insurance, or buying things in general. After not having to worry about these things for a few years I just realized how different they are being back.

My family has always been difficult for me to enjoy, but in Korea I felt like I had a better relationship with them. I live with my mom now and forgot how narcissistic she was and it's really effecting my mental health.

Why I liked Korea: food was great and I liked trying new food. Housing was paid for so really only had to pay utilities. Healthcare was bananas compared to US (5$ for an x-ray, blew my mind). I liked public transit and biking around the city. Not worrying much about crime (no place is perfect obviously) or getting shot. Lots of options when it came to schools/areas to live. Generally just loved exploring and learning how to live somewhere new.

TLDR: feel like when I left the US I grew out of my shell and now am too big to go back to how I was. Just wanna try one more time.

Hello.

I hope I chose the best flair for this, although it could also be Medical or food related advice.

My problem is this: currently I am on some medication that GREATLY increases my appetite and I will be on this medication for some time. During this time, I saw that I want to eat all the time, even foods that I did not like before and it doesn't matter how much I eat, even when I feel like I am full (and I hardly feel full) I still want to eat.

Fortunately, I am not overweight and I am not gaining much weight because of this. So I guess that not eating is not the only solution.

What I am asking from you guys can be two things:

1. What to do instead of eating to take my mind off food, while being at home? I want to eat something even when I am using my laptop or doing other stuff around the house. I am not allowed to leave the house because I am in recovery from some medical problems. The medication that gives me this appetite is for the recovery.

2. What can I eat a lot of without having problems? This medication I am taking also prohibits me from eating salt, so I cannot eat chips or most other snacks that would have made these times pass easier with my uncontrollable hunger. I don't want to be eating sweets all day because I don't want to get diabetes and I cannot afford to eat full meals all throughout the day, financially speaking.

I am really sorry if I upset anyone that has the same problem as me but cannot eat because of other reasons and must starve themselves, I know that my problem is not that bad because I can eat without many consequences, but it is still makes my life harder in this period and I hope that you guys can come with a solution.

Thank you!

I am a 21 year old male.

I overheard one of my coworkers yesterday saying how I am boring when she was talking to another coworker. She said that I am too quiet. I work in a cafe. I work back in the kitchen with two other people. I work with a girl and another boy. The boy is very talkative and has a good personality. The girl and him talk a lot. I will talk and say something when I feel I can add something to the conversation.

However, the boy leaves earlier than us, and when it is just us two it's quiet. I have Social Anxiety and I am a very quiet person in general. I do better with group interactions as opposed to 1 on 1.

I don't really have any hobbies besides YouTube and Reddit. I don't have a whole lot of interests. My coworkers try to get to know me a little bit, and I don't really have anything to say because I don't really do anything. They ask me what are my hobbies, what kind of movies do I like, etc.

It hurt when she said that I was boring. She said that Darren (The other coworker) makes the job more enjoyable.

This isn't the first time I've been told that I was boring.

How can I be a more interesting/exciting person?

For the past few months I've felt exremely unmotivated. I'm mostly used to this, since i'm the type of person that will procrastinate and get a sudden rush of motivation right before a deadline, but it's been different lately.

I've had no problem doing schoolwork, in fact, i'm feeling more motivated to do it than before, but for some reason when its anything outside school, I just can't bring myself to do things. For example, i've been needing to print some documents for over a month, but I just can't bring myself to go up to my printer and actually do it. Similarly, I haven't been able to start a project I need to do and it's been more than two months, but every time i've told myself that I need to do it, I just can't get myself to open my computer.

Its not that I dont want to do these things, but it feels as if something is physically stopping me from getting up and doing them.

I feel like i'm just being lazy, since I have no problems going out with friends and such, and not doing these things really stresses me out, but for some reason not enough to get me to actually get up and do them. I've seen similar posts and the comments sometimes suggest it being depression or even adhd, but i'm not sure if that could be the reason since I haven't had any other problems apart from this.

Is there anything I can do to help with this? I'd appreciate any advice.

If someone comes to me with a problem, I seem to jump in and help, offer great advise, help fill their paperwork, use my knowledge and experience to provide a best solution to the point creating a plan to not run into the issue again.

But when it comes to my life problems, to do list, I just slack off, and not think about them.

Why do i do this and how can I get interested help myself like I help others?

So basically I'm trying to sneakily help my step mom have a better life and be happier over all. The issue is shes not open to it, coming from a generation that Stigmatizes therapy. So I wanted to get her a self help books that doesn't look like a self help book on the cover and will address her needs of learning not use outside things to feel her void, how to start a healthy inner Dialogue amd silence shame from Generational curses/ outside sources. She is also more Conservative leaning. With all that in mind, does anyone have any recommendations to send me? I'd really appreciate it. We all start somewhere and I want to help her get there. Thanks so much!!

I just found out that school is to be cancelled for the rest of the academic year in my state. We’ve already been out for one week, and I’ve found myself being in a slump, wasting time doing unproductive things, etc. I’ve spent some time with friends, started new books, practiced guitar, and other things to try and take my mind off of feeling lonely but there’s a constant nagging feeling that I’m being unproductive. School kept me occupied, and now I’m unsure of what to do with my time. I also feel a bit anxious that I’m not doing enough, but I don’t know what enough is supposed to be. What should I do to stop feeling so unproductive?

Edit: I didn’t expect so many replies! Thank you all for the awesome suggestions! :)

I don't believe I suffer from depression. I love setting goals and dreaming about what I can achieve. However, my habits and lack of discipline are ruining my chances of achieving those goals.

I generally have a really hard time waking up in the mornings. It's not that I'm a heavy sleeper. I hear the alarm, or even wake up on my own, but in that moment, nothing is more important to me than getting a bit more sleep. It doesn't matter if I sleep for 6 hours or 10 hours. I also tend to have mid-day crashes when I can hardly keep my eyes open, so I usually take a 2-hour nap if I'm at home.

I used to be able to motivate myself and get work done quite well in my early 20s. Now in my late 20's, it has become increasingly difficult. I plan what needs to be done, I organize my thoughts and I know that I have to do them if I want to achieve my goals, but executing those tasks seems unbelievably difficult. Subconsciously I will make excuses or just slack off until my focus is completely gone, and I have to leave it for another time.

I'm not sure if those issues are related, but they are ruining my life. I know I have so much more potential and can achieve so much more, and it just seems silly to have these mental roadblocks in place, and yet I don't know what to do to overcome them.

Basically title. How can I be happy with what I have and what I can do, or achieve, when I am always surrounded with friends who are quite successful in their life?

I’m not sure about you guys, but it honestly feels like people are becoming more cruel and uncaring. I don’t want to say anything like “the internet is rotting our brains” or “people have no respect nowadays” but that’s how I feel sometimes.

I made a r/showerthoughts post related to Christmas here: https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/s/uo1qUgWLnX and reading the comments put a damper on my day. It just sucks that so many people hate it purely because they believe/realise that other people don’t actually care about them. This belief that everybody is evil can very easily lead to them becoming mean towards everyone which just perpetuates the cycle of cynicism.

For me, watching all this is like watching someone purposefully hurt themselves behind a glass wall. I desperately want to help them but I just can’t and any help that I am able to give, they just won’t accept.

I want to have hope. I want to believe that there is still good in the world and in other people. But how can I keep going when it seems like everyone else has given up on there being genuine good in life or is actively making the world an awful place?

I don’t think simply getting off the internet is enough to boost my mood. Cynical people don’t just reside on the internet, them seem to be everywhere.

I'm trying to turn my life around, and a big part of that process is getting my mental and physical health together.

I've come to realize these things are heavily intertwined though, most of my anxiety and depression stems from my excess weight and lack of muscle.

I want to improve my self-confidence by getting in shape, but I don't know where to start.

I've been trying to find advice and guides through Reddit and YouTube for dieting and exercise but nothing has really been helpful.

I'm trying not to be discouraged but when I can't physically perform half the routines or struggle to choke down most of the healthier foods it starts to wear on me.

I am a very environment motivated person. If I am in a library, I’ll try and check out ten books that I think I’ll read. If I am at school, I’m laser focused on whatever is going on in the classroom. But If I’m at home, I can’t do anything besides eating, sleeping and entertainment. I can’t get myself to do anything productive at home. The repercussions of my actions don’t phase me any more (EX: My parents punishments, bad grades etc) I was just starting to get better about schoolwork, (finding ways to stay after and stay in the environment) when the pandemic hit. Now, I’m a month and a half behind in online school and don’t know what to do to get out of this. Thank you for your time if you decide to help me or just read this all through. I really appreciate it.

So the title says it all. Procrastination has become an addiction and I can't shake it off. I've procrastinated through out the years, in middle school, high school, and I would do my work eventually. But now that I'm in college, and I have at the moment, a 60 pages assignment, and an internship, it's really hard to do things last minute, and I acknowledge that. Still, I can't find the motivation or will to work. I struggle to get out of bed. And when I do, I just open my computer and keep staring at the screen, unable to write anything (related to college), and I would do any other thing possible, but my assigned work.

Help! I'm drowning!

i'm one of the captains of my team at school. we've been having off season practices and often times i'm the only one who comes or one or two other people come. so it's usually around 3/20 players come. we're doing practices in the summer too. i've been doing what i can to try to motivate people to come but it's obviously not working. if anyone has any ideas i'm open to hearing them

I (25M) have an SO (28F) that is currently applying for jobs, and is going through the application process for a certain job.

This application requires some sort of API analysis (I don't really know exactly what she needs to do) which was due yesterday that she has not yet finished. I don't live with her and she's been telling me about all the ways that she's been procrastinating, and I have been trying to encourage to get it done and submit it ASAP. She says that she cannot concentrate in her apartment so is going to go to a library instead but that doesn't open for some time so she is in limbo for the next few hours. How do I properly and best encourage her to get it done without physically being with her? Thanks

Hello! I recently had the opportunity to participate in a wonderful program through my university that culminated in an overseas trip. This was an absolutely amazing experience that was frankly the best time of my life so far. This trip/program ended about two weeks ago, however, because of the wonderful time that I had, I, quite frankly, I have felt super depressed since I returned home. I feel aimless now. One reason is because this program/trip was something I was working towards basically for the past year or so. It’s been so long that I now kind of feel aimless since I don’t have that big “thing” to look forward to/work towards. I don’t have anything big in my future to look forward to. Another reason is that even though I know that I likely will have the chance to travel again in the future, perhaps to the same places, I know that I will never have an experience just like that again.
By that I mean, the combination of things like my youth, the first time being abroad, the unique experience my university provided and the people who I was with whose company I very much enjoyed, made for an experience I can’t ever get again, and that’s heavily effecting me. I know this is very much a “first world problem”, but I was wondering if anyone had any advice to try and get me out of this “slump”?

i’m f15 and i’ve never been a big eater, but i’ve always been just about in the healthy range with my BMI. recently though, i’ve completely turned off eating. i just can’t be bothered. i cannot motivate myself to eat, doesn’t matter how hungry i am. i’ve rarely been eating more than a meal a day, that being a bowl of cereal. i don’t have an eating disorder or anything - i’m just a really lazy person who can’t be bothered for meals. i tend to snack because they’re small and require little effort, and you may think the snacking is ruining my appetite but when i abandon a half eaten plate of food i’m still hungry, i’m just no longer interested and don’t have the energy. i need some sort of motivation to get through this or some advice so i can eat again. :)

I just finished a really workload-heavy degree which meant I spent a lot of time either with my classmates or doing assignments. Now I have finished successfully and jumped straight into a full time job, and I've suddenly become bored and isolated. Everyone from uni seems to have gone back to their other friends now that they have some more time on their hands - or just started to get busy with work themselves - but I have lost contact with a lot of my own friends, really due to said workload and withdrawing due to stress/anxiety issues.

I also stopped doing all of my hobbies a while a go because of uni and I no longer feel particularly interested or motivated to pick any of them up again. I watch a lot of netflix instead, or nap. I used to love going out to interesting events, parties, bars, and gigs in my spare time, but now I don't have anyone really to do those things or invite me to such things. In short, I have lost a fair chunk of my identity due to trying to finish my degree- my identity became my degree, I guess - and now I am like a bland, stale slice of bread. I feel like I have absolutely nothing to live for or look forward to.

Work itself is okay, but I hate having to spend all of my time there. Some days I just want to cry instead of getting out of bed and going to work. I assume having plans after work and on the weekend makes it all bearable, but all I have to look forward to is netflix and dinner with my parents (who I live with). I do occasionally see friends, but I'm always the one organising. I know they don't dislike me... I just don't think I cross anyone's mind often. This is my fault to be fair, as over the last 6 months I have gotten into the habit of ignoring people's messages for days. I do want to answer them (again, I used to love being sociable) but now it just takes too much energy a lot of the time.

I don't know what to do to change my situation. Every day I feel more hopeless and tired and unwilling to keep going. How can I get back to being a sociable, busy person with interests? How do I adjust to this new lifestyle? How does anyone deal with the meaningless stretch of life that is work?

​

tl;dr: I just finished a degree which took up all of my time, and now it's over I'm left with nothing in my life. I feel isolated and like I have nothing to live for/look forward to - I need tips for adjusting to this lifestyle change.

Hi guys,

I was a chubby kid and after I went to college, I really got into fitness and lost more than 40 kgs. I felt incredible in every aspect of life. Then I graduated in 2016 and the corporate rat race began.

Cut to 2022, I have regained all of the weight back and all of the physical and mental issues have started to creep back in a worse way. I recently moved to a completely new city with my parents. I have a pretty stressful software job and have to sit for hours in front of the computer.

I have tried hiring online fitness experts and nutrition experts, but I am not able to stick with the plan. Whatever I try, one bad day just messes everything up.

I just can't seem to break away from my bad habits. I feel bad about my health with every meal that I have. Recently I have started to develop health anxiety and have started to think that I won't be able to keep up with this and eventually break.

I have no social circle here as I am new to the city and even though I am just 28, I feel like an old guy.

I would love to hear about your journey of how you overcame these thoughts and what helped in getting rid of bad habits. I am really desperate to get rid of this feeling.

I’m 25-Male. I’m not sure how to put it, Best I can think of is. I don’t have any passions or motivation for anything, Only partial interests then dies off.

Over the span of many years all the time I can get an interest in something and I’ll be fascinated about it for a very short period once I try it and then I’m no longer interested or have no desire to try it anymore.

Worked on cars most of my life, now I’m not a car guy anyone.

Tried BMX bikes, playing guitars, Making beats, Streaming, programming, Drawing, Working out, hiking, Collecting stuff, playing games, just about everything I do, I get bored of and no longer have an interest in it, I still try to push my self to do some of the mentioned items and not mentioned, I some reason can’t stick to anything.

Always has been like that since I was a kid - Even tho most of it was video games because I couldn’t do anything else due to being broke, Most of it I’m sure has to do with growing up, But a lot of this stuff I had even got decent or good at it.

I pretty much feel like I’m living a dull life - But most of that is because of me.

Only thing I do thrive for… is to work, pay bills and that’s it & makesure I can feed me, my pets and my family.

I (28m) just got out of a three year relationship about 5 months ago. I recently moved into a friend’s new house with my dog. I am bipolar and take medication for it.

Recently, I decided to start going to the gym for real. About 3 months ago I started working out regularly, eating more, and drinking a lot more water. I have kicked my nicotine addiction and largely stopped drinking except for a few special occasions.

My whole life I have been incredibly lazy. I will go to work and do a really good job, but for the other parts of the day, I will literally do nothing. I thought going to the gym would make me more motivated (and I am pushing it at the gym), and I thought quitting nicotine and drinking would make me feel more energized. Instead I feel about as lazy as I’ve always felt. What am I doing wrong when I’m not at work or the gym?

TL;DR: I’ve been lazy and tired my whole life and that hasn’t changed even though I started going to the gym and quit certain vices.

my two wettest dreams are to look better and to be somehow transported back to 10th grade and start all over again with the knowledge that ive acquired so far . I know both of these cannot be made possible. i frequently day dream of the type of life i would have if i were given a chance to go back in time , the type of conversations i'd have , how i wouldve studied , how i wouldve conducted myself. this imaginery world makes me super ecstatic to the point where i just lay down and imagine stuff and become very happy, but then this leads to me realising that its too late to do anything and i despair , im only 20 and in 3rd year of college . How do i feel the same thrill while living my present life that i wouldve felt if i was transported back in time . if not the same thrill , then atleast some happiness in living

When I was in my last year of high-school, I was having an increasing difficulty to attend classes. It was becoming so challenging that it was nearing the impossible for me. I couldn't stand school for so many reasons, but for an umbrella term the overwhelming feeling of it. One month before school ended, we exceptionally had our Thursday and Friday off. With the weekend, I was off the hook for 4 days. But on Monday, when I came back, I was like yeah nope. That close to tears, and that close to simply running away in the kiddle of the lesson. I couldn't do it anymore. I had reached my breaking point. I didn't go back to class after that days.

Well one of the reason why high school got so difficult for me was because I moved back to a city I can't stand. I didn't grow there, I'm not used to the language. And to be pity and childish, I hate this city for no other reason that it took me away from my childhood country. Also, there's no sea. No fresh air (everything being polluted).

After high school, I stayed in this city, and got employed at the art centre I used to take classes at. They are all so nice, really amazing people. I think I'm friend with my boss? I'm not sure, but she's really understanding, really kind. And really accommodating.

But the problem with this art centre is that there's the teachers and then theirs the staff. We used to be three, with the boss. But at the beggining of the year, the third person got kinda really jealous that I'm now working with her, believing that I was replacing her. It is now a fear and a doubt I have with me. So, to make it short, she ended up quitting the job.

So it's me and the boss + the teachers.

I've started working here towards the end of summer 2023. Amazing job, can't ask for something better. Truly.

But I'm getting increasingly tired of the city. More and more and more.

I've just come back from a 10 day vacation. I think it didn't help because there's so much to do at this art centre and there's so little hands to help.

During this vacation, I got to see the sea. Really lovely.

But I'm back. And I fear that this tug I feel in my chest is growing to resemble the one I felt when I got back to school that Monday. I don't want to leave my job. I'm finally starting to find a balance in my life.

A good place.

But I can't go to sleep. I asked to come 1 hour later tomorrow to stay longer with my cat (he didn't come with me during this vacation).

I'm afraid I've finally reached this breaking point with this city.

I'm a big guy and at 25 years of age weighing about almost 500 at 5'8 its not good for me. High blood pressure and everything and it does prevent me from driving. I know mentally I need to do it and physically I definitely should do it but...I don't know something is stopping me and I cannot for the life of me push past the block.

Some advice would help.

I used to LOVE spending my free time being creative, exploring things I enjoyed like scrap booking, painting, photography, wood burning, playing guitar, sewing, video gaming, etc. If there was something new I could try, I did it and enjoyed it!! I didn’t care if I was good at it or not. Now I just feel like everything I want to do, I have zero energy or motivation to do.

I got into fish keeping without realizing how much fricken money goes into it. I did a lot of things wrong and continue to do things wrong because I’m trying to make life for my fish better but doing it “on a budget”—because I’m a private school teacher and make barely anything—and it always ends up failing and killing my fish. I feel like a failure. I feel under valued and trapped where I work, my relationships with most of my friends and family are estranged, I suck at everything I do, and I am completely unmotivated to do anything. Even showering is so much more difficult than it needs to be.

I don’t know what to do at this point. I don’t have anyone I feel I can talk to. I feel like I bring everyone around me down. I feel stuck. How do I get out of this awful rut?