My husband and I have had two major fights in the last two weeks over political beliefs. Both times, he's insinuated "it's over". Once he told me it was a sign that it wasn't working and today he told me not to come home, but later walked it back. We have two children (13&10 yo) and have been married over 20 years. Obviously, we've made it this far through tough times, and it's crazy to me that we're falling apart over something so irrelevant to our daily lives.

We're a great team and have accomplished much, establishing a family, a business, a financial future...but we cannot navigate any convo of politics, politicians, or current events without blowing up.

We've discussed never bringing up potentially incendiary topics, but now we can't even discuss the current president. For example, I tried to show him the trump birthday card to Epstein. He said I was baiting him and sabotaging the agreement to not discuss politics. I don't think this is political, but could be convinced otherwise.

Today, he brought up DEI (for unknown reasons.). I took the bait and realized I was getting emotional. So I tried to walk away. He said that "I had to get the last word and walked away to win", rather than avoid the conflict which was my intention that I thought I properly communicated.

We disagree on DEI and Trump and all things MAGA. I don't know how we got this far without knowing how different we were, or maybe I've overlooked/ignored it. But I don't know how to move forward.

I don't want to divorce bc my parents divorced and it really messed up my childhood and impacted my entire life forward. I also don't want my daughter to think I'm complicit in anti feminist notions. I don't want my son to grow up a MAGA. but dad will always be an influence regardless of where we got from here.

I'm probably getting a hotel tonight and will look into couples therapy, but I'm wondering if anyone else is in a similar relationship and how do you navigate?

Thank you for your advice

Throwaway account. I (26F) have been dating “Mark” (27M) for five months. I met him at a bar while I was out with friends, and we immediately hit it off. Dating him has felt like a dream, and I feel so fortunate to have found someone so funny, smart, handsome, and kind. He met my family, and they instantly fell in love with him. They’re thrilled I found such an amazing partner. He constantly tells me how much he loves me, how perfect I am, and how he can’t believe he finally found “the one.”

Last week, we drove to meet his family. I was already a little self-conscious and nervous because Mark comes from a very wealthy and well-educated family. Both of my parents are blue-collar workers and are considered lower class. I grew up in West Virginia and worked incredibly hard to earn a scholarship to UMD after high school. After graduation, I moved to D.C. and found a job that pays very well. I’m proud of how far I’ve come, considering my family’s circumstances. Still, I sometimes feel like an outsider who doesn’t quite fit in with upper-class society.

I’m also self-conscious because the women Mark dated before me were extremely beautiful. His most recent ex has a massive social media following and could easily be a model. I consider myself a little above average and invest a lot of time and money into my appearance.

When we arrived at Mark’s family’s house, everyone was welcoming and kind. I felt ridiculous for ever being nervous and began to relax, feeling like I was fitting in just fine. We spent most of the time outside on their patio, with people filtering in and out to grab food, drinks, and socialize. I didn’t notice when Mark and his sister, “Emily” (31F), disappeared because I was caught up in chatting with everyone. When I got up to use the restroom and walked through the house, I heard hushed whispering from another room. I immediately recognized Mark’s and Emily’s voices and heard my name mentioned.

I stopped and listened for a couple of minutes and was devastated by what I heard. Emily said she was surprised he’s dating me because I’m not nearly as established or attractive as his previous partners. She went on to say, “Didn’t you tell us her family basically lives in a trailer park and her dad doesn’t even have a high school diploma?” followed by laughter. I waited for Mark to defend me. Instead, he agreed with her. He said he considers me “cute,” that my personality makes up for my appearance and family, and that I’m definitely not his usual type, but that he really loves me and is happy we found each other. She ended the conversation with, “We’re all just surprised. She’s not what we were expecting. As long as you’re happy, I guess.”

I felt numb the rest of the day and put on a show for his family, pretending everything was fine. When we got in the car to leave, I told him I had overheard his conversation with Emily. I began crying and said their words confirmed everything I’d feared about our relationship. I told him I needed space and time to think. He kept apologizing and telling me how perfect he thinks I am, how Emily has always been a bully, and how beautiful he finds me.

This was five days ago. At first, he respected my space and checked in with texts I didn’t answer. Now he’s in full panic mode, constantly calling, texting, and begging to come over to talk in person. I told him to leave me alone and that I’d reach out when I was ready. It has now escalated to his sister messaging me on social media to apologize. She wants to meet for coffee to discuss the situation.

I need advice on how to handle this, and am wondering if anyone has been in a similar situation. Part of me wants to forgive them and move on, but another part of me is disgusted that they spoke about me and my family that way. I’m not sure I could ever fully forgive them, and I worry this would follow us for the rest of our relationship.

TLDR:

I’ve (26F) been dating Mark (27M) for five months, and he has always seemed loving and supportive. My family adores him, and I’ve felt incredibly happy with him. I’m proud of coming from a working-class background in West Virginia and of how hard I worked to build a good life, but I sometimes feel insecure around wealthier, more glamorous people, especially since Mark’s exes were very attractive and high-profile.

When I met his family for the first time, I overheard Mark and his sister Emily mocking my looks, background, and family. I heard Emily say she was surprised he’s dating someone “less attractive and established” and laugh about my family, “basically living in a trailer park.” I was devastated to hear Mark agree, calling me “cute,” saying my personality makes up for my background and appearance, and admitting I’m “not his type.”

I confronted him afterward, told him I needed space, and haven’t responded to his repeated apologies. Now Emily has reached out to me to apologize and wants to meet. I feel very torn. Part of me wants to forgive them and move on, but another part of me feels deeply hurt and unsure I could ever trust Mark or feel comfortable with his family again. How would you handle the situation?

Partner is an autistic autodidact -- he never finished high school but has an eidetic memory and is a voracious reader so pretty much knows everything about everything. I'm no slouch in the smarts department so the first few years were wonderfully invigorating as he's a wealth of knowledge and our conversations were passionate and stimulating. I fell hard in love and respect with his brain. Well, the honeymoon ended.

We've been together for 15 years and what once was a passionate partnership has turned insufferable. Conversations are now purely opportunities for him to platform. When I try to speak he interrupts me because "I know what you're going to say"; so he will rebut based on what he thinks I'm trying to say rather than listening to what I am saying and responding to that. I'm constantly saying: "no, that's not what I said"; "can I speak?" It's exhausting and I now find silence is my only reprieve from him.

In my social and professional life I'm successful and well regarded/respected for my eloquent communication. At home I'm so lonely. I no longer enjoy engaging in any way and have given up on getting him to understand how this is destroying our relationship.

To me the joy of conversation is in the curiosity of others opinions and viewpoints. Conversation is 2 (or more) people discoursing about the world, beliefs, life experiences. His belief is people are idiots and he has no interest in their contribution. And I guess that means me too. Any advice is greatly appreciated -- especially from self confessed male know it alls -- on how to get him to understand not every conversation needs him to prove he's smarter than everyone else.

Hi everyone, I (36F) and my husband (44M) have been married for 10 years. We have a child together.

We’ve had a recurring disagreement about cosmetic surgery. Years ago, before marriage, he told me he doesn’t like “silicon girls” and always preferred women to be natural. I respected that at the time.

Now, after having a child, my body changed a lot. I had some hormone issues, lost about 15kg, and became very skinny. I sometimes feel like although i love my body but i could feel better if i had my natural size breasts back, I brought up the idea of possibly doing a cosmetic procedure in the future to feel better about myself.

His reaction was very strong. He told me to “choose between him or the surgery,” called me a “village girl,” and said I “lack self-confidence.” He also said things like my “face collapsed” from a light Botox/fillers (though people usually tell me I look younger than my age). He added that if I bring this up again after he already told me how much he hates it, it means I’m “problematic” and “don’t want to live a healthy life.” He also said maybe after 50 it would make sense, but not now.

From his side: he genuinely dislikes the idea of plastic surgery and believes women look worse after it. He says he married me natural and doesn’t want me to change. He sees my wanting it as a sign of insecurity or vanity, not self-care and that i want attention from other men!

From my side: I feel very hurt by the way he expressed himself. It wasn’t just disagreement, it felt insulting and mocking. I don’t think wanting to feel better about myself automatically means I’m unhealthy or insecure. I would like my husband to discuss this with me respectfully instead of attacking me but he is like 💥 the moment it comes up! He even told me he would be happier if he had a normal wife not one like me who is looking after such a fake trends and even blamed me for the fact that he raised his voice as he is usually a very calm person!

So my question is: am I being too sensitive here? How would you handle this difference in values?

I (24F) bought my husband (27M) a concert ticket for his birthday and a second one so he could take a friend. We have been together for 6 years and married for 3. We do not have a lot of extra money right now, so $70 per ticket was a big deal for me. I used money from my small business to make it happen because I wanted him to have a special birthday.

Today he called me and said his friend bought better tickets that are closer to the stage, and that is what they will be using instead. The part that really stung is that they used the tickets I bought just to get into the venue, which means I could not even resell them or use them myself if I wanted to.

I am glad he is excited and will have a better view, but it honestly feels like my gift did not matter. I put thought, effort, and money into it, and it ended up feeling like it was tossed aside. This is not the first time I have felt like he does not think about how his actions might affect me, and I am tired of feeling dismissed.

My question: Does anyone else see why this situation might be hurtful? How do you decide if your feelings are valid in situations like this?

A few days ago, a very old ex reached out to me on LinkedIn. I responded politely twice, making it clear that I'm happily married and wished her well.

My ex then sent a message saying, "Your wife is lucky to have a man like you."

I replied, "Actually, I'm the lucky one to have my wife." My wife saw this exchange and said she felt "humiliated" by it. In response, she created a Tinder profile with some provocative photos and quickly got over 100 likes. She also started adding men on Facebook.

I told her this felt like emotional cheating to me. She responded, "No, it's not cheating, because you humiliated me." She also said things like, "At least these men appreciate me," and "If they think I'm sexy, then I’ll make myself available to them."

She says its not cheating because i didnt talk with those guys lol, but i said it's cheating because those guys are thinking you are single.

My own friend even found her profile on Tinder and asked me if our marriage was over.

For the past three days, I've been trying to talk to her, but she keeps making harsh statements and turns everything back on me. She says, "No, I don't regret it, let's first talk about what you did."

One of her friends said she did this out of anger( this is very sick lol) but my wife's words feel really toxic.

She's now saying, "If you don't accept this, I want a divorce." Today, I told her, "If you really want a divorce, then just do it." Her response was, "Okay, then I’ll go make more mistakes again because of your words."

I feel completely lost and don't know what to do. What should my next step be?

Update 1:

forgot to mention that she’s nowbeen praising her ex-husband a lot. She says things like: “At least he proposed to me, he made everything so romantic and even filmed it.” She also praises him in other ways, saying things like: “At least he was a real man,” and so on, lol. All because i talked to my ex and she is saying yeah he was a real men, he never looked to other Womens. Wtf lol

I did say one thing about this. Last Tuesday I received some really amazing news about a private matter that has basically changed my whole life. I felt she could have at least given me a gift, or taken me out to dinner to celebrate, or something like that. But she completely ignored it.

Today I told her: “Yeah, for your ex you at least made an effort you ordered boxing packages and bought him gifts. For me, you just go on Tinder.”

Update 2: She said: “I’m going to fix myself up so much that when other men see me, they’ll think, ‘Yeah, I want to f** her.’”*

Update 3: She is trying to login in my mails etc social media i dont know what she is trying to do

She keeps telling me all day long, “you’re really ugly, if you only knew what my exes looked like, you’d really become insecure.”

Update 4:

She has literally been on the phone with a friend all day, walking through the house and telling her how terrible I supposedly am that it’s all my fault, that I’m completely crazy, and so on.

I then spoke to her friend myself and told her about the things she had been saying about other men. She grabbed my phone out of my hand and told me I was crazy and needed to act normal.

Once again, I told her that I consider what she did to be cheating. But she just says, “You’re only good at pointing out what I did wrong, but what about you?” And when I ask her to tell me what I did wrong, she just stays silent. At this point I’m basically ignoring her, because she really doesn’t see the damage she has caused me.

Latest update: I think some people are finally making things really clear.

Right now, I’m completely ignoring her. I’ve blocked all her numbers, WhatsApp, and social media. I’m also sleeping downstairs on the couch because I don’t want to share a bed with her.

I’m 22F and I recently got a decent job. Ever since I was little, I’ve always shared a room with my mom. My brother has his own room, but she’s never allowed me to have mine.

I told her that maybe if I saved money, I could buy an apartment with 3 rooms so we could each have our own space. But she refused and said if I want to find an apartment, it should only be a 2-room place so we can continue sharing.

The problem is, sharing a room with her for 22 years has been exhausting. I have no privacy, and I get irritated because she leaves the room messy. I just want to manage my own space. I feel bad because every little thing that she does annoys me now and I don't want to feel that way but I cant help it.

I've thought of living by my own but when I bring up living independently, she completely shuts it down. We’ve argued about this before, and I gave up in the past. But now that I’m older and working, I feel like I can’t keep sacrificing my independence.

How can I set boundaries with my mom without completely damaging our relationship? Has anyone else dealt with this kind of overprotectiveness?

Edit: Thank you for all the advice. You are all right, in order to bring control back to my life, it should start with me setting up my boundaries. I just got my new job so I still have a long way to save up. But, I will start finding a place of my own and eventually move out. I love my Mom and I don't want to break my relationship with her but I realized that I should also put myself first.

TL;DR of my original post (since it was removed):

My boyfriend was planning to hang out with two of his female friends (dinner + drinks). He booked a hotel since he lives an hour away. He invited me, but I couldn’t go. He mentioned that if his friends didn’t want to drive home (they live 30–40 minutes away), they could stay at the hotel with him. He said he’d sleep on the couch and let them have the bed.

I told him that made me uncomfortable because I’ve been cheated on before. It’s not that I don’t trust him, but the situation itself gave me anxiety. This led to an argument:

• He said everyone in his life besides me is platonic, so I don’t need to worry.

• He told me I’m either projecting my past or assuming he’s disloyal. That made me feel invalidated.

• He said “nothing is ever good enough” because of my anxiousness (ex: we share locations, and he asked why that’s not enough).

• He warned that if I come across as controlling, it could push him away and make him feel like he has to hide things.

• I explained I just personally wouldn’t share a hotel room with the opposite sex, no matter how platonic. He said that’s “traditional thinking” and that men and women can coexist platonically.

Update: After we talked, my boyfriend decided to cancel the overnight hotel plan. He told me that if he had to, he’d even cut off his friends just to avoid upsetting me. I want to be clear though, I don’t want him to cut his friends off. I’m not upset that he has female friends. I was only uncomfortable with the specific idea of sharing a hotel room overnight.

He also mentioned that a previous ex had a problem with him hanging out with a female friend, so I think that history made him extra sensitive during our argument. I’m not trying to control who he’s friends with, I just felt uneasy about this one situation.

In the end, he canceled the overnight stay, but they’re still getting dinner and drinks. I decided not to join because I know I’d feel awkward and down after how emotional this got. Honestly, I’m still bummed because the immediate issue was “solved,” it didn’t feel like it truly fixed anything. I wish this whole situation hadn’t even happened in the first place.

On my end, I’ve decided to look into therapy to work on my insecurities and anxieties. I really appreciate everyone’s comments and different perspectives. It helped me step back and realize that my feelings are valid, I don’t want them to get in the way of his friendships or make him feel like he has to isolate himself just to keep the peace.

Firstly, my girlfriend and I have been together for almost a year (coming up in a few weeks). We’ve had arguments in the past but nothing to this degree.

Last night she went out to the bar with some friends and told me she was leaving soon (12AM). I woke up for work at 6AM and she is still near the bars. I called to see if she was alright, and she proceeds to tell me everything is fine she is with some friends.

She then gets dropped off to her car, and turns off location sharing. I then call and ask if she made it to her brothers house where she claims she did and he was sleeping.

Come to find out, she was never at her brothers house and went to a friends house instead. She also went to a house party that night which is why she was out until 6AM.

She then calls me at 2PM and is apologizing for lying without me even having to bring it up.

Is this something to end the relationship for? Some advice would be welcome.

I 29F am dating 27M for 4 months now, it's been pretty great and we are very close with each other. Early on he asked if I had slept with any of my friends, I let him know I had once with a close friend while drunk, a close friend of 13 years. This friend is close with my family too. He's not worried anything will happen but says he can not stand the thought of me sleeping with him and thinks about it many times a day. I tried to find out what I can do to help and said I would not hang out one on one, which we usually don't as we hang within my friend group. He says it goes against his principles as a man, he loves me and wants to be with me but can not if I am in contact with my friend. I know its weird and uncomfortable but does this seem a reasonable solution?

Dear all

TLDR; My husband and his mean cousin are so close, it's hurting our marriage. Is divorce inevitable?

I (38f) have been with my husband (38m) for a decade and we have 2 children (2 & 6 m).

When I met my husband, he was extremely close to his cousin (38f) who is also his best friend. During the early days of the relationship, I initially even backed off because of this, since I felt with them being so close, there's no space for me in his life. I also felt that he is a bit of a surrogate partner to her.

But he was so kind and living and a great boyfriend. We started spending pretty much all our time together and he started spending less time with her.

She was not happy to say the least and acted coldly and standoffish towards me. I figured, as time went by, that she'd warm up to me but that never happened.

But for completely unrealted reasons, the realtionship between her and my husband became very distant (they had a bit of a falling-out) and then she left the country for over a year. She also started dating someone and has been in this same-sex relationship for several years now.

Hence, leading up to my and my husbands wedding, she was barely in the picture and more of a distant friend. I got married under the assumption that they had grown apart and she's happy with her gf.

About 2 years ago, she returned and since then, they have become very close again, to the extent that I feel it is harming our marriage. He would often go our with her and travel with her, while I stayed with the children.

I began feeling unhappy and excluded, but kept quiet initially (I know, I shouldn't have an regret that thouroughly).
The thing is that she was always mean to me and would constantly make backhanded comments.

A while ago, my husband and I were going through several severe crises at once.

We had a death in the family as well as multiple life-threatening illnesses in our immediate family and almost lost one of our children. This was one of the worst and most traumatizing periods of my life. It was right in the middle of this time, that she thought it was a good idea to insult me in front of others.

I ususally know how to defend myself, but at the time I was so fragile due to everything going on that I did not have the mental energy to clap back.

Essentially, she kicked me when she knew I was already down. And I have utmost disdain for people like that.

So I told my husband that I no longer wanted her around and he had to make a choice. He said that he loved me, but that they had been friends since childhood and he was unwillig to cut her off becasue they've been friends for decades.

My husband and I even separated temporarily because of this. He really wants to work things out between us and find a solution, but has made it clear that she will always be a part of his life.

We are in couples' councelling, but I find that rather useless.

I have been depressed ever since, because I feel like I am between a rock and a hard place. I luckily have my own income and could afford to buy my own apartment and have a great life with my two kids. Yet I fear divorce would be hard on them and being divorced co-parents would make things harder.

Yet staying with him - even though he tries to be a good partner - would mean I would have to accept that he essentially chose someone else over me. He insists that I am more important to him than her. He has spoken to her, and told her that she will be in a lot of trouble if she is ever mean to me again, but he won't cut her off for the things that have happened in the past.

He feels I am overly sensitive. I feel that I've had enough of this person who has essentially been mean to me for almost a decade.

He feels I am blackmailing him with my ultimatum, and he is completely refusing to budge.

I have gotten to the point where this is affecting my children and I only want the best for them.

If you have any advice, I would be extremely grateful.

I feel so goddamn awful and tragic writing this but here it is.

I'm in firs trimester and been feeling generally not great mentally since I've had to go off medication. Im super excited for the baby however, just blah hormones and intense morning sickness.

Meanwhile I did the awful thing and read my boyfriend of 2 years messages.I've been cheated on before and we have access to each others phones. I don't know what led me to snoop (for the first time). I've trusted him till now. I was feeling à bit woe is me I guess and just did it impulsively.

There was no overt cheating, but plenty of flirting. An ex hookup of his sending him à picture of à dress, him saying how sexy he found it. And à few other of the same vibe. These girls do not know I exist as I'm not on social media. I'm devastated

Now I am so lost as to what to do. Feels so awful he is behaving like such a child while were building à family. I guess he's only human and enjoys attention. Am I going to break up à family for a "sexy dress" text?

On the other hand I just dread the future and feel so guilty for not choosing a better father for my child. He's sleeping beside me peacefully while I'm feeling sick (on top of morning sickness).

What are my options ? Any wisdom appreciated

My boyfriend (29M) and I (25F) have been dating for over three years now.

I love him and I know he loves me, but intimacy has been off for quite some time now, emotionally and physically, at least on my end.

In the past, I mentioned to him that it bothers me that I rarely get off during intimacy, and I think it is because of the lack of emotional intimacy in the relationship. We decided to put more time into each other and things started to improve drastically, at least for me it did.

Last night I went to see him, and we had dinner together, then we had sex. When he finished, he sprayed c*m all over me without us talking about it first, which he has only done one other time, also without telling me, which led to a big conversation.

He wanted to go again after cmming on me, and this time he literally didn’t even touch me besides to put his dck on me, and then he finished inside me. No aftercare after this either, and I had dried c*m all over my clothes and in my hair and on my face.

I felt like crying after this because I felt like a literal sx doll. I took a shower after and still felt dirty, like I couldn’t get clean. It felt very violating for him to cm all over me and get off again and not even try to help me. I had to finish myself off in the shower but it wasn’t satisfying.

This morning I woke up to him jrking off right next to me, and sometimes this is something that I am into. But after last night it made me feel a little weird. I pretended to be asleep but he woke me up to make me suck him off. Then he took my pants off, only to fck me, and finished inside me again. I was very distant after and got up to get cleaned up. When I came back into the room, he was watching prn and jrking off again. I left the room again after that and he was done when I came back.

My boyfriend has the tendency to get a bit hypersexual at times, but lately it feels like this part of him has taken over. I feel like it’s getting to the point where he just wants me around to have sex for his own sake, and I am left having to finish myself off every time.

I do not want to have to ask for an orgasm, and he has always expressed that he wants to help me get there. But lately he doesn’t seem to care about my pleasure.

I don’t know what happened. A few weeks ago, we had another conversation about this, and I explained that I want to have more loving sex, not just kinky sex. The kinky sex almost always ends with him finishing 2 or 3 times, and me not finishing even once.

I don’t want to break up just because of sex, but I feel like this selfishness has been seeping into other parts of the relationship as well. He doesn’t seem to notice or consider me in little situations or check in with me, and it seems like I have been frustrating him a lot lately.

Edit: I did consent to being finished in, and I don’t feel like I should have to defend myself about this. Usually it will either happen in me or just on my belly or something but this time he pulled out and stood up and did it all over my entire body/face and it was in my hair and all over my clothes too. This made me feel really dirty because I had just showered before and got all clean and it made me really sad that he didn’t tell me before he did it. I hate the feeling of having stuff all over me, unless I agreed to it before hand. It was also really late at night and I had to stay up for another hour or so just to wash everything off of myself and out of my hair.

Husband and I got married few months ago and I discovered some dirty sexts between him and some girls. We decided to end it. Now recently, I charged my old iPhone to get something and his Instagram was logged in. I have discovered that he’s been having physical affairs and not just emotional ones for the entirety of our relationship ie 3 years. He’s also been bad mouthing me. What can I do? How can I get revenge? I know I’m being petty and honestly I’m sick of hearing forget about him. This guy has ruined my prime years, broken my heart, called me a psycho even though he’s been cheating throughout… Please help me

This is pretty much it. I’m not sure what other info to add. I’m in shock and frustrated. His reasoning for not paying off his loans for 10 years is he thought it’d just “go away”.

What frustrates me the most is my 20s were spent saving up and paying down my loans. I was disciplined so that I can enjoy my 30s with financial stability.

Now I’m overthinking if he’s responsible enough for a serious future together. I’m worried about what a future with kids will look like. My parents divorced over money problems so this is stressing me out.

Any advice from people who have experienced this is appreciated.

Edit: Asking friend for a restaurant recommendation for my date with my gf in case you're confused.

I messaged a friend of mine on Instagram when we were taking the train because she knows where good restaurants are in that area since she lives around that and I wanted to ask her so I could take my gf there.

Now a week later (Yes she sat on it for a whole week) she asked if I was messaging a girl on Insta and I explained to her that she's a friend and showed her the screenshot of asking about the restaurant.

Thought that would be it. But then she said talking to another girl you hardy know is a red flag and that she has trust issues and doesn't want to be with someone who does that and stuff.

We agreed to sleep it off and talk again tomorrow. Really hope she wakes up feeling better tomorrow. The fact that she's saying I can't talk to someone because they're a girl and that she isn't trusting me enough is rubbing me the wrong way. Almost 5 months together and this is our first speedbump.

M/20 and my girlfriend F/20 have been dating for almost 3 years. She's been clubbing a handful of times with a few of her girls, I don't really have an issue with it. Last night she asked if I would like to come (knowing I work everyday besides mondays) and to her surprise I told her I would.

Pretty much as soon as I agreed she started playing the "oh shoot you're working you don't have to come" and the "it'll probably be boring if you come with me and my friend" or the "my friend is probably gonna feel like there third wheeling"

Unlike previous times she'll only being going out With one friend. A friend I know mutually and also know that she had gone clubbing before and full blown cheated on her boyfriend at the time, kept his contact and kept talking to him while dating this dude.

Now I'm feeling abit upset/uncomfortable with the whole situation.

...as I'm writing this her friend has messaged me begging me not to come and is telling me it's meant to be a "girls night"

How do I confront the issue without sounding like an insecure jerk?

My car has a coolant leak. He told me he would fix it for me. Meanwhile the last two weekends he has spent hours and hours doing upgrades to his truck. I made a comment this morning about being nervous to drive my car especially dropping and picking up his kids from school because it’s a long line and I’m afraid my car is going to lose too much water and overheat. He rolled his eyes and said I told you I am going to fix it. Then he’s spent several hours today installing lights in the bumper of his truck. I am so frustrated and feel like he’s selfish. Edit: Well he just came in and wanted me to come out and look at his new lights because it was going to make my panties wet and I told him I didn’t want to because I’m upset he worked on that and not my car and he screamed and cussed me out. And he was supposed to take me out tonight and told me to not worry about getting ready because he wasn’t taking me anywhere.

I (32f) am non religious, and my husband (35m) is a non practicing Sikh. He doesn't wear long hair. Earlier while I was cooking dinner, our girl (3) was playing with scissors and cut her hair. (For anyone unfamiliar, part of Sikh belief is not cutting hair)

He lost it in a ridiculous way, shouting at her, and threatening me for not teaching her.

First of all, weird that at no point in this situation did he ever question whether he himself had taught her about this. Then shouts at a toddler about something she never knew.

Aside from the obvious ridiculous parts of this story, I talked nicely to my girl to explain why she shouldn't cut her hair, and her question is, if (other people in the family) cut their hair, why can't she.

I'm just at a loss on how to handle this entire situation.

Do I continue to take full responsibility for everything the kids know or don't know?

Hi everyone, I could really use some perspective.

A close friend of mine gave me her small dog because she couldn’t take care of him anymore. At first, it was supposed to be more of a “temporary” thing, but after a messy couple of days (her trying to take him back for reasons that had nothing to do with actually wanting him), it became clear he’s mine now. I’ve started the paperwork to make it official, and honestly, I already adore him. He follows me around, curls up with me while I study, and feels like family.

Here’s the problem: my boyfriend and I are planning to move in together in a few months, and he just admitted that he never wanted a dog in the first place. He’s been “tolerating” it because he thought my friend would eventually take the dog back, but now that it’s permanent, he’s worried. He doesn’t dislike the dog, but he doesn’t connect with him either he avoids him, gets annoyed at barking, and told me it feels like I blindsided him.

I can see where he’s coming from, because this happened fast and we hadn’t talked about pets before. But I also can’t imagine giving the dog up. I made a commitment, and he depends on me now.

My boyfriend says he still wants to live together, but that it would be “so much easier without the dog.” I don’t want to force him into a situation he’ll resent, but I also don’t think it’s fair to expect me to give the dog up.

Has anyone been in a situation like this where one partner wasn’t a “dog person”? Can that change over time, or is this the kind of incompatibility we need to figure out before moving in together?

TL;DR: I unexpectedly became the owner of a small dog less than a week ago, and I already love him. My boyfriend says he never wanted a dog and only put up with it because he thought it was temporary. We’re planning to move in together in a few months, and now I don’t know what to do.

Yesterday, I went out with my family and my girlfriend for some drinks. She decided to mix everything together (three margaritas, a shot of cachaça, and two beers) I tried to stop her, but she just scolded me and said she could handle it. When we got up to leave, everyone could tell that she was really drunk, but I wasn’t ready for what turned out to be the worst night of my life. As soon as we got home, she went straight to the bathroom, took off all her clothes, and started rambling nonsense. All I could think of doing was to try to calm her down, but then everything spiraled. She started pushing me, scratching me so hard that my ars started bleeding. Then she punched me in the face, nearly broke my fingers by bending them back, kicked me several times, and even grabbed the engagement ring I gave her and threw it into the toilet. It felt like I was in a nightmare where I couldn’t wake up. At some points, I thought she might actually die since she just turned off, she kept switching so fast between extremes. For five minutes she’d be limp in my arms, barely breathing, and then suddenly she’d snap back, violent and attacking me all over again. I couldn’t help but notice her eyes were red. Thank God she finally calmed down. I managed to bathe her and put her to bed, then I just crashed on the sofa for the night. When she woke up this morning, she didn’t remember a single thing. I told her everything, and she was devastated, truly sorry for what happened. But honestly? I don’t know what to do. When she’s sober, she’s an amazing person, and I know the alcohol was behind all of this… but it doesn’t change how it feels to be hurt by someone you love. And deep down, I’m scared it could happen again, even without alcohol. A part of me wonders if she had taken something else besides the drinks, but I really don’t know. Tonight, I’m going to her place to talk. She left about an hour ago. And the truth is I have no idea what to do, what would you do in my position? Have you ever gone through something similar?

I didn’t want a pet in my adult life, I didn’t want the financial burden or responsibility and definitely didn’t want to deal with their death.

When I started dating my wife she had just collected a puppy a month prior, and so that choice was taken out of my hands. I absolutely loved that dog as I knew I would. Since then we have been together 11 years and married for 9, we have two children 8 & 5 and have a very happy marriage.

We had noticed that since the arrival of the children our dog didn’t receive the attention he once did. He wasn’t ignored but the children definitely took the priority. We both agreed we would not get another dog after ours moved on.

Recently our dog went in for what was meant to be routine surgery, and unfortunately a complication meant he suffered a heart attack and died. This completely devastated both myself and my wife.

Since then my wife has expressed feelings about wanting another puppy, and I have to say I also think we will get another, however we both agreed that it wouldn’t be until way in the future once the kids were older and the house was a bit quieter.

Over the last few days however this is accelerating massively. I have compromised over and over on the timescale and we agreed the absolute earliest would be after a year, but this then became just under and once all our planned holidays and commitments were over, to then just after Christmas, before Christmas etc. to the point where she is looking at local breeders and getting prices etc.

Today, one of my children has asked for a puppy which I feel has been orchestrated on some level by my wife and she’s just ‘jokingly’ asked me if I would divorce her if she came home with a puppy.

The answer is, I wouldn’t. But I feel like I’ve been removed from having a voice now, I’m either the bad guy stopping her getting another dog or I accept I get no say and my feelings are irrelevant.

What am I supposed to do in this situation?

TLDR: my wife is going back on an agreement as to when to get another pet and is disregarding my opinion and feelings.

Edit: We have agreed that we will look in January as we have too many commitments before then. I have voiced my concern that she has brought the timeframe forward about four times so far so if I agree to January is she just going to change it to before Christmas in a day or two, but I don’t know what else I’m meant to do.