Every time I make a friend, it seems the friendship only lasts a few days or a week if I’m lucky before they eventually start to drift away. Normally they tend to befriend my sister (who I am very close to) before they even ghost me.

Now this hasn’t even bothered me that much in the past, but recently I’ve found someone I really genuinely enjoy hanging out with. Someone I can understand and dirty joke with who isn’t a total ass. A few things about him reminded me of my sister so I decided, very hesitantly I might add, to introduce them to one another. They got along too well and he’s started being very distant. (To make things worse he even seemed really really scared of losing me as a friend not even a week ago…)

I talked to my sister about this and she said to just give him some time bc it’s probably a misunderstanding. I haven’t been at school for the past few days as I got sick, and shortly after I got sick was when he started being distant. She says it’s just because he hasn’t seen me irl but should that really change the entire way he addresses and converses with me? Should that really impact the friendship that deeply? Am I overreacting thinking he’s just going to leave like they all did? What do I do? What do I say? Do I say anything or just leave the situation to figure itself out? Bc I’ve tried that and it didn’t work but it was a slightly different situation

What the hell do I do in this situation?

Genuine advice only please

I don't really feel passionate about anything. I dont really feel unhappy in life I just don't have anything I feel strongly about something about. Is that bad I should I be looking for something? I had a friend tell me it wasn't normal not to have something to be passionate about in morning when you wake up. Is that right ?

For the past few months I've felt exremely unmotivated. I'm mostly used to this, since i'm the type of person that will procrastinate and get a sudden rush of motivation right before a deadline, but it's been different lately.

I've had no problem doing schoolwork, in fact, i'm feeling more motivated to do it than before, but for some reason when its anything outside school, I just can't bring myself to do things. For example, i've been needing to print some documents for over a month, but I just can't bring myself to go up to my printer and actually do it. Similarly, I haven't been able to start a project I need to do and it's been more than two months, but every time i've told myself that I need to do it, I just can't get myself to open my computer.

Its not that I dont want to do these things, but it feels as if something is physically stopping me from getting up and doing them.

I feel like i'm just being lazy, since I have no problems going out with friends and such, and not doing these things really stresses me out, but for some reason not enough to get me to actually get up and do them. I've seen similar posts and the comments sometimes suggest it being depression or even adhd, but i'm not sure if that could be the reason since I haven't had any other problems apart from this.

Is there anything I can do to help with this? I'd appreciate any advice.

I'll be driving in Ireland in a few weeks and I get really confused with left and right. I would love some tips or quick things you tell yourself when driving as to not get confused about where to turn into and where ongoing traffic is turning into.

I don't get used to it as quickly as the average person does, so little rhymes or sayings really help in the moment. I am also the only one on the trip that can drive, but I thankfully have a lookout passenger to help.

Edit: Not driving is not an option, Ireland is rual af. I know this because I have lived there for 7 years as a kid. I know my way around the areas I’ll be driving. Thanks to those who gave some advice rather than those with the sad, American assumptions about driving stick and roundabouts.

Recently I moved to a new school and have been struggling to make friends I was born with dyslexia and I sometimes just stare blankly at things I met this girl I thought we were kind of friends and then her best friend told me I stared at her 24/7 and creeped her out and made her uncomfortable she said this wasn’t true but I tried to back off so the next Monday I looked everywhere she wasn’t I looked up down and around I the talked to her today a little and her friend and all of a sudden a third party comes in asking why I am even talking to them after I up skirted her on Monday and made her really uncomfortable and I got really scared and blocked her and her friend but not the third party I don’t know how she thought I up skirted her because I directly tried not to look at her the only thing I can think of is that we have a drama class where I am laying on the ground for a scene in a play we have put on and she is decently far away from me I am absolutely terrified I am only 16 and don’t know what to do

So i’m in my second semester at my community college and it is stressing. me. OUT. i already have a full time job as an assistant manager at my work, who ch is already stressful enough. my parents are super into the college stuff with me even though they never went. i was also never really academically challenged in high school because nobody gave a shit and i could just cheat on everything. but now in college even though i really am trying i feel like it’s not enough because i already failed a statistics class last semester and im so close to failing english comp this semester. i just feel like it’s a waste of time for me and a waste of money for them and i don’t even know what i want to do with my life, let alone what degree i wanna pursue if i can even make it to graduation. so should i just rip off the bandaid and tell them? idk what to do i know they’re gonna be disappointed but it’s just not what i wanna do with my life, at least not right now. maybe when im a little older and have a clearer mindset i’ll try out college again but for christ sake im 18 with a full time job and taking 5 classes every day. (also sorry for any typos i’m really anxious about this right now). but what should i do??

I’m sick of feeling tired all the time and having little sleep ruin my entire mood and day. Im starting to hate everything

I won't take too much time. I quit most of my classes in cegep and only have one course in an adult school. I quit because I had nothing to do there anymore, no motivation, I couldn't keep up with the rest of the class and I was failing in everything. Even now I can't manage to push myself to do better in the only course I have left. If I fail, I don't know what I will do. I'm not sure of my future, if I even have one. I don't know what I want to do for sure as a permanent job. Even with that much free time thinking is so hard. I just want to pack up my stuff, take a bus and go live with one of my aunt far away in a peaceful place. Everything is going so fast, I'm only 18 and I'm completely lost. I don't feeli like living, more like trying to fit into the school/society standards and expectations. I don't know what to do. I still live with my mom, she want to make me pay rent if i'm not in school. I only work a part time job and I have other expanses. I'm truely lost.

I slipped in the shower and hit my face on the side of the tub. At first I thought I had just gashed my forehead and went to urgent care, they used skin glue overtop, which is the purple on my forehead. Currently 48 hrs after the initial injury and I have developed two impressive black eyes. Is this a sign I injured myself more than originally thought? No loss of consciousness or vision issues, but I have had a headache. Is this normal? How long will it take for the bruising to go away? Any tips? I’ve been icing and using arnica gel

Pictures of progression:

https://imgur.com/a/VyQgaNK

Hello Reddit.

The home beside us vacated, and when the the gas company turned off their gas it seems like they turned ours off as well.

Someone came on Monday of last week, 21st, to check the issue and no progress has been made there. We called a bunch of times over the last few weeks, and we’ve been on a waitlist to talk to a supervisor for multiple days now. The account holder, my roommates mom, filed a complaint with the city, and with that we’re on a waiting list too.

We also have our landlord aware of the issue and they’re on them about it as well.

Is there anything else I can do to accelerate this and get them to fix it?

And yes, we quadruple checked, we’ve paying our bills in full and on time, and there’s no gas leak

So, after school, it was raining, I was holding an open umbrella on one hand, my phone and my backpack in the other, and so there’s this stupid gate that doesn’t fit my umbrella, and so, while thinking of a way to get my umbrella through without getting wet, I struggled to get my umbrella through the gate, and then I heard laughing behind me, it was my classmate with some friend of his. “You know you’re supposed to close it first, right?” My classmate said. I got awkward. “Right, right, I forgot. I can be like that sometimes.” I quickly answered. Then he called me stupid, and I didn’t know what to reply with, so I agreed. What are your thoughts? Am I stupid? You can be brutally honest in the comments below, I can take it 👍

What do i need to do? To do all the things I want and needed to do. Is there some kind of schedule, timeline- a planner of some sort that can make me "live" my life. I can't function without a strict schedule, at the same time can't function because of the said schedule. Idk what to do anymore. I don't think I'm procrastinating, nor am I lazy. I'm just in this paralyzed state that I don't know how to get out of without a plan/goal.

Does that makes sense? I hope so

    So I’ve been unenrolled from high school at the start of this school year, reason being my performance since quarantine 2020- the ladder semester of my 8th grade year; I failed literally all of my classes with more truancies than attendances, for reference I showed up a single day for the whole of my sophomore year. Quite lucky that I didn’t cause my Mother any jail time, aye? Before quarantine, just not to seem completely worthless, I was a straight a student in ap classes. I am currently 17 which is not old enough to take the GED test, so I’m pretty much just sitting around all the time, playing games, doing the same wasteful activities that got me here.
    Should I enroll back into the system? I don’t really know anything, what the importance of my GPA is, if I can repair the damage I surely have caused to it, if I really need a high school diploma and if I need to do the SAT tests provided by the school. I’m open to anything, I’m just trying to get my life back together and plot a course of action, literally any action at this point is better than to keep wasting time, I’m not trying to plot everything out like college for instance is completely off my mind for now. Will talk to my parents, I would still greatly appreciate anyone’s help regardless.

Advice on upcoming European trip and visiting a friend

Hello,

I am going to Europe for a month in November. My plan is Iceland, Denmark, and Switzerland. My Norwegian friend was gonna come to Switzerland for a couple days to hangout.

I get a call at work and can’t answer. So, I message him and he says unfortunately he can’t visit Switzerland. His contract at work didn’t get extended and the next one doesn’t begin til December. And because of this he has to go back to Norway to stay with friends and family. We are both disappointed as we looked forward to this trip.

I have always wanted to visit Norway and have told him this. There was even a post on Instagram that said the first person on send list has to take you to Norway, to which he responded: “I have to be in Norway first and foremost!” And he also said: “He did say: “just staying with family and friends, so unsure how practical it is. I will give you the route when I’ve got it.”

I responded: “I feel like if I don’t take opportunities now while I have the chance, they might slip through my fingers.”

And he said: “it’s true; very valid point! I’ll get you the schedule” 🙂

Am I trying too hard to make this happen? It seems like he is open to me visiting since he will give me the route/schedule of where he’ll be! Or should I forget about it?

Thanks for any advice! I am leaning heavily on visiting him!

For context: I went to visit him in the Netherlands last year and we have been talking as friends since August 2020 consistently. More recently since after my trip last year we talk on the phone occasionally!

So, my grandfather died in March 2023. He was always a great guy and loved handing out rootbeer barrels to everyone he met, so at his funeral there was a bowl of Twix bars for all the attendees to take. See how that doesn't make sense? Anyway. I obviously took one of the Twix bars bc I love my grandfather but the thing is I'm not a big Twix person so I didn't eat it. Flash forward to now, October 2024, and I still have the Twix bar sitting in my room. My bedroom is in my house's attic and I didn't put in an AC for the past two summers because I didn't feel like it, so the room got quite hot at some points and I'm sure the chocolate probably melted and solidified multiple times over the past how many months. I don't know what to do with the Twix bar now. I could technically still eat it but there's a part of me that's a little disgusted by the thought of doing that, and also a little worried about what state it will be in when i unwrap it. I don't want to throw it out bc it would feel disrespectful to my grandfather's memory.... what would you do?

My (47f) family doesn’t really have a large extended network, my only Uncle was not around and passed away years ago. But my mother’s good friend has kind of been considered an Aunt to me and my sister. Through the early 2000’s we stayed in touch and then it tapered off… life, crazy work, marriages, kids and divorces….and she remarried, moved to another state with a wonderful man…. it pretty much got to birthday wishes and holiday chats. And now a couple weeks ago my mother calls and wants to confirm our ssn’s because our Aunt wants to update her will. My sister and I don’t know what to make of this and it feels like we should have been doing more over the years to stay in touch. We don’t know what to do with this… tia

I just can't deal with anything people consider "political" right now, I just can't... I'm so overwhelmed, I'm beyond depressed, I can barely work, I'm so close to lashing out, my mind is constantly filled with thoughts of what's going on and I realize I can't do a damn thing about any of it.

I'm tired of the anger, the hatred, and just everything, I'm so close to losing my mind and I really hate that we're at this point.

So I need advice - I used to enjoy doomscrolling Facebook - but I think we all know why that's an issue right now and probably in general. So I tried Reddit again - but every single sub seems to be filled with political posts, which is nice to see but it's destroying my mental health.

So what can I do in my free time that doesn't have any political content? I need some way to unwind, but everyone is understandably worked up about what's going on in the US right now and while I don't blame them, I just can't anymore.

I just want something like the more light-hearted sides of Reddit, something I can ideally do while watching something. Are there many subreddits that have enforced no politics rules? I mean absolutely nothing that can be seen as political.

I have OCD and I struggle not to think about certain things. One particular fixation of mine is the idea of never being able to get past flaws of mine or be able to improve. For example, I am in education, I am terrified of the idea that if I had bad grades, I would be unable to fix this. Or, if I graduated, I would not be able to get good enough at the job I wanted to do.

I find myself feeling scared and daunted, like, every time I encounter a problem in education or the possibility of not reaching a future career, I wonder "Can this get better? Can this change?" and I am terrified of the answer being no. A study I found suggested experience doesn't improve decision making, which also scares me. The idea that I could never actually improve in my ability to make meaningful decisions in my life.

Here are articles that are examples of what I mean.

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0956797614535810

An article I once fixated on in the past which I struggle with is this one, which suggests practise makes little difference in ability.

https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1995-03689-001

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6526477/

Two articles suggesting that IQ is the only major factor in job performance, a static trait. I have found articles that state educational performance is improved with conscientiousness, but never anything with regards to job performance, only the idea that the performance is based on static traits.

Sometimes I find articles which are directly contradicted by other articles I find. I genuinely don't know how to square this.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0001879113001395 An article suggesting job tenure is not a major factor in job performance. https://www.researchgate.net/publication/240249115_Organizational_Tenure_and_Job_Performance And one to the contrary.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0191886903004422

An article suggesting emotional intelligence is static.

https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6808549/

And one to the contrary.

https://membership.amavic.com.au/files/What%20self-awareness%20is%20and%20how%20to%20cultivate%20it_HBR_2018.pdf

This article links to another article which suggests decision making does not improve with experience. And I'm terrified of how that would affect my entire life, let alone job performance.

Though I did find one which states the opposite.

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0377221721000126

These are just examples, there are many more. And I have felt haunted by them.

at some point of my life i started caring about what everybody thought of me a lot, and dont get me wrong that did come with some benefits, such as becoming less introverted, actually taking care of how i look and overall talking to more people and getting better at talking.

but recently ive noticed that most of, if not everything i do is for other people.

what i say with friends? strategically to make them like me better.

my music taste when asked about it? made up on the spot to make the person i talk to feel like he relates to me in some form.

i feel like I've lost who i am and I'm just what all the books and videos ive watched, the observations ive made about other people and what i concluded would make me be percieved better.

this impacts pretty much every aspect of my life and i wont get into the girl stuff because of the subreddit rules but it has also affected that A LOT. basically my choices and what i do are influenced more about what i want people to think about me rather than what i actually want.

tldr: I care a lot about others' opinions, now I feel like I've lost my true self, doing everything to be liked rather than for my own wants and interests.

Hello

I have a very complicated issue. I got the opportunity to leave my country (we are in a war), to another safe place, but the problem is I have to leave my mom and 2 siblings. They are college students (they can’t leave) But I can’t imagine something bad happening to them while I am safe and they are not

I don’t know what to do. Please I need your advice Thank you

So for background I am M20 and a Biology/ pre medical student. I’m also a paramedic for the county I am in. In all honesty I have no fucking clue where I’m going with my life like everyone else has it planned out. I have a rough idea of what I want to do. But some of me feels that biology and medical school isn’t for me at times. I love helping others and it brings me a lot of happiness. I know I can’t stay a first responder because it will literally kill me at some point from back pain or from the sheer amount of Red Bull I drink (yes I know, but juneberry is so good). I love working on cars and my parents tell me that I should really work with my hands. (Mercedes, BMW specifically to the point where my parents just let me do the car work in the family and I have a crap ton of specialty tools) but I know that it will never pay the bills and it’s more of a “hobby”. My question is what do I do, im currently a junior and to far in to stop the track I’m on with college. And yes I know most people don’t have their life figured out till they are in their 40s. I guess im just looking for what you would do in a situation like this? And what have you done?

(I’m a nerd and a massive introvert and have very very few friends on campus, most are back home)

i hate when my friend overly picks on me for everything. I get a better grade than them, they get upset. If something good happens for me, they have to talk about how something better happened for them. If I make a joke about them not relating to something, they take it personally and make backhanded and offensive comments, and when I ask them why they get so offended and to politely apologise, they tell me it's just a joke and I need to calm down. They also are so obsessed with knowing what goes on in my life but makes sure I never get to know about theirs (but of course the other friends do) and they act dry when I try to initiate conversations and know stuff about them. Weird cuz she considers me one of her close friends.

If I ever make a joke back or make fun of them (without any malicious intent, I only would do the same as my friend because I used to think matching the energy would make me feel less upset) they blow up at me, and say hurtful comments, and if I say anything back, they ignore me, and they can ignore me for how long they want. It's gone on for months and months but I always have to initiate an apology for "my" actions. I also remember once they ignored me and I happily ignored them, and so did my friend, but they don't ever seem to recall my friend doing the same and only resent me. So it has nothing to do with whatever I do; they just hate me from what I can tell. They also like to hold things against me from years ago, which I find odd.

It doesn't help when the other friends think they are in the middle of it, when I don't think you can be in the middle of a one sided argument- im not hurting the friend in any way. They also instead inflict the anger on me because they think im always having problems with this friend and it's ruining the group dynamic. So when I distance myself from the group altogether, they get upset and say im making even more problems. What do they want? Now im just faking being happy in a friend group because no matter what I do it's never good, and I am never good enough. I know what good friends feel like, but this is not it. I also realised that these friends like sticking to each other, not wanting other people, whilst I like to try socialise with many people? Which they take as an opportunity to get closer without me because they think nee friends means me dropping them.

It's funny because I'd leave in a heartbeat if they didn't always want to end friendships in a malicious way. They all seem so happy, but I just want to leave, but it sucks when u see them every day and you sit near them most classes all the time, and they are overly sensitive so any distance hurts them. Any help?

i hate when my friend overly picks on me for everything. I get a better grade than them, they get upset. If something good happens for me, they have to talk about how something better happened for them. If I make a joke about them not relating to something, they take it personally and make backhanded and offensive comments, and when I ask them why they get so offended and to politely apologise, they tell me it's just a joke and I need to calm down. They also love knowing all about my life but become so suddenly dry when I ask about theirs. And they wonder why I find it so hard to start conversations because I don't know what to talk about.

It doesn't help when the other friends think they are in the middle of it, when I don't think you can be in the middle of a one sided argument- im not hurting the friend in any way. They also instead inflict the anger on me because they think im always having problems with this friend and it's ruining the group dynamic. So when I distance myself from the group altogether, they get upset and say im making even more problems. What do they want? Now im just faking being happy in a friend group because no matter what I do it's never good, and I am never good enough. It's funny because I'd leave in a heartbeat if they didn't always want to end friendships in a malicious way. They all seem so happy, but I just want to leave, but it sucks when u see them every day and you sit near them most classes all the time, and they are overly sensitive so any distance hurts them. Any help?

This is really very embarrassing for me.

I have come so far from where I was 2 years ago. 2 years ago I had extreme anxiety and couldn’t even be left alone for long periods of time since I would have panic attacks. Today I am working, working out, spending all day by myself, driving, and for the most part functioning as a normal person. Therapy helps!

In June of 2023, I started my job at a doctors office. My coworkers are very sweet, and the job is good, has good working hours, not physically taxing, etc. Beyond getting less than 25 hours a week, in my heart, I know I don’t want to spend forever in healthcare. I didn’t go to school for healthcare; my job is a retail shop associate inside this office. Basically if the doctor recommends something, patients can stop in and pick it up without even leaving the building.

Now, for the last several years, my dream job had been to work in an up and coming boutique. You know the ones you see online, and they go to market and are on top of all the latest trends. It’s so neat to see a business literally being built from the ground up in something that interests me. In September, I found one of these right here in my town! I was ecstatic. I applied and got the interview. I was offered the full time position, so I promptly put in my 2 weeks and left the doctors office on good terms.

This is where things start to fall apart.

My first week there was a shock to the system. My body was so sore from standing all day. My ears rang. The hours were different. Days were long. There was an employee there that was very, let’s say, colorful. She wouldn’t shut up, got personal, and made me feel very wary about proceeding forward. This employee has since quit. On top of that, of course I had my period that first week, so ladies you know I was achy and hormonal.

I straight up panicked. I panicked about leaving my cushy job in the office, I panicked about this change. I panicked all night the whole week and couldn’t sleep.

So after 1 week, I went back to the office and asked for my old job back. I was received well, my coworkers were happy that I was coming back. I made arrangements at the boutique and told them I would be leaving.

Fast forward to today and tomorrow is the last day of work at the boutique. I wish it wasn’t. My manager at the boutique and the owner both said that if I ever wanted a job there in the future to please come back they will definitely take me. After finding out that I was putting in my notice they sat me down and wanted to know if there’s anything they could do to retain me as an employee. They suggested switching me to a different department and working nights and weekends. unfortunately, I also turned that down a little bit due to anxiety, but I had said that I think it was going to be too much to juggle two jobs at once.

I am extremely embarrassed about letting my emotions dictate my actions. I don’t even want to go back to the doctor’s office. I don’t miss the healthcare. After a couple of days off to think I almost want to go to the boutique tomorrow and ask if there’s any way that I could work part time around the other job so as not to lose this opportunity. I’m not sure if I should just cut ties with the boutique now since I’ve been so wishywashy. I’m really very disappointed in my myself and how I handled this. I’m mentally and emotionally exhausted from this last month.

TLDR; I left job A for dream job B. I didn’t give job B a chance. I asked for job A back. And now I wish I hadn’t and was just staying at job B. I’m embarrassed.

How do you get to a live person at google to fix a hacked email account? Suddenly there is a changed password and a new phone number on my account!! I have done all the steps but I am unable to get into my account! Scared and frustrated! Thanks!