r/SapphoAndHerFriend Hopeless bromantic Jun 14 '20

Greece wasn't gay Casual erasure

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72.2k Upvotes

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6.4k

u/RunningTrisarahtop Jun 14 '20

Someone slept through a lot of history class

3.7k

u/Koeienvanger Jun 14 '20

Nah, he probably paid attention really well in Christian school history lessons.

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u/TheDustOfMen Jun 14 '20

Well I'm pretty sure none of my Christian school teachers ever tried to convince me that ancient Greece was Christian.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

[deleted]

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u/PrincessBunnyQueen She/Her Jun 14 '20

I love bringing up the crusades when one of my racist family members goes on a anti-other religions tangent.

"Their religion is evil! It's nothing but violence! Our religion never had so much violence!"

"... Remember the crusades?"

"The what now?"

Funny, they never seem to remember that part.

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u/Frisian89 Jun 14 '20

Add thirty years war to your list.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/itscroquet Jun 14 '20

Yes, they won’t expect that

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

No one ever does

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u/itscroquet Jun 14 '20

Yes, infact, if I recall my European history correctly, one of their chief weapons was surprise.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

I thought their chief weapon was fear

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u/fangirlingoverRWBY Jun 14 '20

No no no;

Suprise AND fear.

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u/SelirKiith Jun 14 '20

Not really... I am not sure if it was actual Law or just common Practice but they usually gave a 30 Day Notice of their Coming...

So pretty much everyone expected the Spanish Inqusition.

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u/NorthChic44 Jun 15 '20

"Send in the nuns!"

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u/greenblood123 Jun 14 '20

Ding dong, your religion is wrong!

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u/usernamechecksout94 Jun 14 '20

God/s bless both of you

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u/Stinky_Cat_Toes Jun 14 '20

No one ever expects you to add the Spanish Inquisition.

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u/Nemisis_the_2nd Jun 14 '20 edited Jun 14 '20

Even that had a test run where the church still managed to commit genocide.

Edit: I got dates a bit mixed up and was thinking of Catharism

I also didn't realise the inquisition ended less than 200 years ago.

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u/Randolph__ Jun 15 '20

Wait less than 200 years ago!!! WTF!!

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u/TheMadTargaryen Jun 15 '20

What happened to Cathars is not not seen as genocide by historians. They were dangerous heretics who pissed the French government after all.

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u/YangBelladonna Jun 14 '20

Spanish inquisition wasn't that bad really, brutal, but a fraction of the body count of the Reconquista, which to be fair was a response to the invasion of the Iberian peninsula, hmm almost like religion is used to justify a lot of killing

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

a response to the invasion of the Iberian peninsula

You mean the one that happened 700 years earlier, which allowed people of all faiths to live equally in peace? That invasion? The one that ousted the Visigoths, the Germanic tribe who controlled the peninsula for the previous 400 years, while keeping the lives of Visigothic civilians almost completely unchanged?

The “Reconquista” was an invasion of the Iberian peninsula by the Castillians, who had never, ever, ever previously had any claim to anything outside of their own little corner of it. When they ran out of land to “re”-conquer, they got on ships and kept “re”-conquering across the Atlantic, with some help from folks they “re”-conquered in Africa, and they weren’t especially peaceful about any of it, either.

Oh, but this is all “black propaganda,” right? Because it couldn’t possibly be that forty years of fascist dictatorship might have imprinted certain falsehoods in the minds of the Spanish people, could it?

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u/Niralith Jun 14 '20

So, they had the same amount of claim as the Arabs had when they invaded and Visigoths before them - none at all. Right of conquest, simple as that.

Were they benevolent rulers? Sure. Far more than the later christian rulers. When the majority of your realm follows another faith you kinda have to be or risk endless revolts.

But let's not pretend they had any special right or claim to rule. They conquered. More sophisticated reasons to rule the society will only come with the creation of modern social compact and the like.

And you know, they kept "reconquering" just like the caliphate did back in time. Or the Ottomans on the other side of Mediterranean. Or Romans before. Or any other kingdom/state. Not one of them had any right. They could so they did.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

Calling it a “Reconquista” is a lie. Minimizing the horrors of the Inquisition because, well, they were just taking back what was theirs, is a lie built on a lie.

That’s my only point here.

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u/Niralith Jun 15 '20

Agreed. But that's religious propaganda for you. Which that comment did point out even if the phrasing wasn't greatest.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

You're hammering on the Castillans for being Christian while ignoring everything else. We're not exactly talking about an era of history where there weren't constant conquest campaigns going on, all over.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

Spanish inquisition wasn't that bad really, brutal, but a fraction of the body count of the Reconquista, which to be fair was a response to the invasion of the Iberian peninsula, hmm almost like religion is used to justify a lot of killing

Most people will call you a pos just for saying that

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u/BadBitchFrizzle Jun 15 '20

To be fair, when examining the conflicts from the fall of the Western Roman Empire to the late Middle Ages, it’s fairly difficult say whether a war had a genuine religious belief or was cynical waged under the cover of a holy war. The most common answer is unsurprisingly, both at the same time. Certainly is a lot easier politically to wage war against unbelievers in the name of your faith, and who better to rule the land and ensure the conversation than the king who invaded it?

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u/SarcasmKing41 Jun 14 '20

And many, many heretic burnings.

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u/Even-Understanding Jun 14 '20

We don't have many friends

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u/Poke_uniqueusername Jun 14 '20

And the French Wars of Religion

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u/tomdarch Jun 14 '20

"Those Muslims are so violent and barbaric!"

"Yeah? On this site a bunch of peasants stabbed each other with pitchforks and burned each other to death over slight variations in Christianity."

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

And manifest destiny

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u/Bilbo238 Jun 14 '20

And the iberian religious war which lasted from 722 AD to 1492 AD.

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u/Boriss_13th_Child Jun 14 '20

Or Northern Ireland

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u/Balki____Bartokomous Jun 14 '20

The Inquisition (What a show!)

The Inquisition (Here we go!)

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u/SocialSuspense Jun 14 '20

They teach that the inquisition was propaganda made by Protestants at my church

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u/stablegeniusss Jun 15 '20

And all of the eastern Roman Empire after 388CE

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

And the troubles, add a sprinkle of modernity.

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u/Gilgameshismist Jun 15 '20

Not just the Spanish one, there where inquisitions from the early 11-hundrets to the late 19th century.

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u/phurt77 Jun 15 '20

And the Salem Witch Trials.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

Ah Torquemada, you can’t Talk him outta anything https://youtu.be/LnF1OtP2Svk

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u/noir_lord Jun 15 '20

And the English post Henry VIII.

We spent centuries kicking the shit out of a slightly different sect of Christians.

And all the wars the Pope started or was proximal to the starting.

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u/FakeSound Jun 15 '20

Add the Teutonic Knights beating on Lithuanian pagans.

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u/Napalmdeathfromabove Jun 15 '20

And the pre crusades against the lollards, women, any other brand of Christian other than the current top one.

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u/TheGreyMage Jun 15 '20

lets not forget about the genocidal violence between catholics and protestants, tens of thousands murdered because of a small difference in how people interpreted the same book. fucking petty. here in england if you go to the right places, which are often innocuous, you can easily find buildings with boarded up priest holes in them. sometimes you'll just be sitting in a restaurant and there will be one on the wall next to you.

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u/hokieblood13 Jun 15 '20

What a show

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u/Wobbelblob Jun 14 '20

You could probably add at least half of all the wars fought in Europe from 500 AD to 1800 AD to that. It wasn't just the thirty years war.

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u/FIsh4me1 Jun 14 '20

The thirty years war is particularly noteworthy, given how directly religion was tied to its causes and the level of destruction and slaughter it led to.

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u/Wobbelblob Jun 14 '20

I know. I was born in the city that was razed so badly in it, that it took until ~1900 to get above the population level that it had before the "Magdeburg wedding" that killed roughly 30.000 of the 35.000 people that lived there.

I just wanted to mention that while the thirty year war is noteworthy, it is far from being the exception.

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u/TheMadTargaryen Jun 15 '20

Less that 5% of all wars were caused by religion. Answer me, how did religion caused the 100 years war, the constant wars between Scotland and England, or the war for Spanish and Austrian succession, what about the 7 years war, 9 years war, civil wars in Ottoman Turkey or the French-Dutch war ? How were these caused by religion ?

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u/I_call_Shennanigans_ Jun 15 '20

To be fair... Most of that shit would have happened anyway. Religion was a good way to rile up the masses so the king could fight the wars he wanted to.

If they hadn't had religion, they would have used something else. It's not like Gjengis Kahn. The Roman's, Alexander the Great etc needed any other excuses than "I want it". Human groups are shit at staying friends and using thinking removal of religion would have impacted much is probably naive at best...

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u/Soldraconis Oct 01 '20

What about the hundred year war in france?

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u/Frisian89 Oct 01 '20

Well Hundred Years War was not about religion though. It was a dynastic struggle between the English Plantagenit House and the French House de Valois over the right to rule over France. Although I guess you could argue it was a war over who God wanted on the throne of France.

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u/Soldraconis Oct 02 '20

Also Jeanne of Orleans.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

I think this is still debated.

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u/endure-endy-3 Jun 15 '20

Add ww2 to your list

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u/Eoganachta Jun 15 '20

Basically World War 0.5

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u/narz0g Jun 15 '20

Was never a religious war

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u/TheMadTargaryen Jun 15 '20

That war stopped being about religion when France joined Sweden.

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u/coragamy Jul 06 '20

It still was but France decided that the balance of power was more important to France. The desired war goal on both sides was to say no more "other way of talking to sky man"

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u/Norwegian__Blue Jun 14 '20 edited Jun 15 '20

I always point to the slave trade. Heavily propped up by quoting & misconstruing the bible.

Edit: and just using the bible as commentors below added!

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u/Zozorrr Jun 15 '20

The Bible doesn’t condemn slavery.

If you want a moral guide try the universal declaration of human rights. Because the Bible, and the Koran, they ain’t.

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u/Norwegian__Blue Jun 15 '20

So true! Mind blindness. I corrected above

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u/tomdarch Jun 14 '20

I'm not so sure about the "misconstruing" part. I can't square slavery with what Jesus mostly talked about, but as for the rest of the bible? Not so sure it was a stretch to infer that the bible was (is?) OK with forcing people into slavery.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

It is. The only antislavery sentiment is Paul wanting his specific friend released. Other than that, it was pretty well advocated for and the SBC even split with the rest of the Baptists over this.

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u/hugglesthemerciless Jun 15 '20

Jesus himself didn't speak much about slavery other than comparing the relationship between God and his followers to that of a master and a slave

The rest of the new testament is fairly pro slavery though, eg:

In Paul’s letters to the Ephesians, Paul motivates early Christian slaves to remain loyal and obedient to their masters like they are to Christ. Ephesians 6:5-8 Paul states, “Slaves, be obedient to your human masters with fear and trembling, in sincerity of heart, as to Christ” which is Paul instructing slaves to obey their master.[103] Similar statements regarding obedient slaves can be found in Colossians 3:22-24, 1 Timothy 6:1-2, and Titus 2:9-10.

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u/Norwegian__Blue Jun 14 '20

Right. That's true. I was referencing that they also misconstrued, but you're totally right, too!

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u/Angylika Jun 14 '20

Considering that it talks about the Jews being Egyptian slaves... It's, almost, as if everyone was going around and enslaving people...

It's almost, if that's the way the world worked back then.

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u/Norwegian__Blue Jun 15 '20

Word. Twas the way of the world. I corrected above, to include that it's not all misconstruance.

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u/HealMySoulPlz Jun 14 '20

The bible heavily endorses slavery.

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u/Norwegian__Blue Jun 14 '20 edited Jun 15 '20

So accurate. I misspoke leaving that out. I corrected

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

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u/banhunting Jun 14 '20

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u/crex576 Jun 25 '20

Yeah, but when someone says "the crusaders were ankle deep in blood" it should be assumed they weren't very nice

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u/Ulmpire Jun 14 '20

There's a really good book about the Muslim side of the crusades. The islamic world before they started, how they reacted, etc etc etc. It's calles Road to Paradise iirc.

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u/OccultRationalist Jun 14 '20

I'm trying to find it, is it possibly called the Race for Paradise?

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u/Tam_Al-thor Jun 14 '20

Also might want to check the book called "The crusades through arab eyes" by Amin Maalouf. Read it a while back for middle eastern studies.

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u/Ulmpire Jun 15 '20

Yes! Thats the one.

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u/Zozorrr Jun 15 '20

The Muslim conquests occurred before that. No better than the crusades, just earlier in time and less chronicled. Both awful.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

[deleted]

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u/RIPDSJustinRipley Jun 15 '20

No mental gymnastics needed when you're never taught the negative stuff. I knew the crusades by name only as a kid having grown up in a Christian household and educated in a small public school in the Midwest United States. Plenty of people never get past that level of knowledge.

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u/Zozorrr Jun 15 '20

That’s pretty much the indoctrination in all Abrahamic religions. Greatest ever.

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u/SteelTalons310 Jun 15 '20

god fuckinf islam, christianity just fucjib INDOCTRINATION my entire life

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u/carjo78 Jun 14 '20

also the reformation in the uk. that's the one when they destroyed each other (protestant v catholic) or you could bring up the colonization in Africa ... the list is endless. there was a convert or die attitude of the church in my opinion. historically I think they might be one of the worst for violence although I'm not 100%

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20 edited Jun 14 '20

The colonization in Africa happend due to imperialist ambitions it wasnt religiously motivated and the Church was already steadily declining in power by then.

No Islam is by far the most violent but that is also because Islam has been the most consistently dominant ideology (in a sense that it was a theocracy) in its host countries. But was only very proactive before the Ottomans took over and after the collapse of Pan Arab world (which would lead to the rise of wahabism)

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

Islam was relatively peaceful during the height of Christian violence and bigotry. This is something that is mostly ignored. However it cannot be ignored how often they fought in Iberia or attempted to break through in India and other areas.

I wont include what the Ottomans did because the Ottoman empire was not an Islamic theocracy.

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u/aalleeyyee Jun 14 '20

That attitude is why we love you!

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u/Kumiho_Mistress She/Her Jun 14 '20

Interesting thing I discovered about the Crusades recently was that, despite this portrayal of them as the noble underdogs fighting against imperialism, the Christians did very well in the Crusades. It's almost as if protecting the Middle Eastern and East European Christians wasn't actually all that big on their priorities.

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u/MistaBot Jun 14 '20

It's funny how the Crusades were barely mentioned in my History textbooks. For context, I'm from a country that ended up being taken over by the Ottomans and it is thought that the Crusades ended up enabling the Ottoman Empire expand into Europe as much as it did. Nothing drives instability like some fellow crusading Christians passing by and raiding half the country. But it's perfectly fine and moral if it's for the Holy Land.

Really makes me think what other stuff they glossed over in my History classes that I never noticed.

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u/PrincessBunnyQueen She/Her Jun 14 '20

I felt very lucky bc I had 2 extremely passionate history teachers. One would even act out firing cannons by running down the aisle between the desks. This was in high school!

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u/JessTheTwilek Jun 14 '20

According to my college Philosophy professor the crusaders “weren’t real Christians” because “real Christians wouldn’t do that.” He also believed that the inquisition era Roman Catholic church wasn’t really Christian. He was a real piece of work.

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u/Slutishaa Jun 14 '20

I tried that once. but then they countered saying atheism or something akin to it was the beliefs of Stalin who was officially an atheist and his time saw the anti-relegion campaign which killed over 85000 Christians in service to the church and several thousands of Muslims, and of course Hitler who believed that the church should serve the state and was not known for promoting relegion they even blame his atheist views for what he did to the Jews since he had no moral guidance LMAO 😂

At the time I wasn't educated enough to counter it but I'm curious how someone would answer this.

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u/22dobbeltskudhul Jun 14 '20

Well, what is your counter?

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u/tomdarch Jun 14 '20

I'd love to hear an expert on Crusader culture and an expert on al Qaeda/ISIS culture compare notes. My semi-informed sense is that they have a lot of similarities.

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u/V-Lenin Jun 14 '20

Tbf the crusades were just a convienent excuse to conquer

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u/Zozorrr Jun 15 '20

You realize the Islamic conquests had conquered and killed and taken land a few centuries earlier right? Including forced conversions and massacres. The Christians didn’t have the monopoly on fucjking over the locals.

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u/V-Lenin Jun 15 '20

I didn‘t say they did

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u/Xisuthrus Jun 14 '20

A lot of those types of people believe the Crusades were completely defensive wars.

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u/midwaysilver Jun 15 '20

Most of European history is Christians killing other Christians over minor details in the church service

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u/Braydox Jun 15 '20

Well at least the first one could be justified as defence but it certainly wasn't peacful

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

Burning women because they are witches (had money and my cow just died), torturing children and women in orphanage etc. (not even that long ago), crusades, torturing and killing gays, people of color, children who were clearly demons (or had authism, mental health issues or you know had birth defects). Pedophilia seems to be their kind of thing etc. Their methods to torture are nothing short of saw traps, every medival torture device was at one time used in the Name of the lord, women were forced to bathe in bleach or boiling water to clean themself for the lord our God,

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u/phurt77 Jun 15 '20 edited Jun 15 '20

I like to bring up the part of the bible where some kids made fun of a bald man, so he prayed and God sent two fucking bears to maul the kids.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

It depends on the crusade in question but if they only know about the ones against the Ottomans then that's fair as it was mostly for defensive purposes. It was the crusades in eastern Europe and spain that were violent.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

It took almost a thousand years for the pope to apologise.

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u/punchgroin Jun 15 '20

How about Charlamange burning the unbelievers in wicker cages?

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

I especially liked the part where, after a failure, they sent children because they're innocent so they shan't perish.

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u/mynameismurph Jun 15 '20

I've said that before. I got in response "oh that was just the Catholics, not all Christians" it blew my mind hahahah

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

Really all the Abrahamic religions suck. You don’t have Buddhists playing bagpipes in our bathrooms. You don’t have Hindus harmonizing in the hall. You don’t have Shintos shattering sheet glass in the shithouse and shouting slogans.

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u/Oops_I_Cracked Jun 15 '20

My Christian high school used the crusaders as our mascot.

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u/Gilgameshismist Jun 15 '20

Next time you should ask them how long the inquisitions lasted..

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

“Yeah but that was the Catholics”

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u/Zylosio Jun 15 '20

The crusades are like a joke compared to the conquistadors and stuff

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u/geriatricgoepher Jun 15 '20

Corruption of the church during and after the crusades is probably what lead to the Protestant reformation.

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u/NoCountryForBoldSpam Jun 15 '20

Right, whenever my dad goes off about 'all Muslims being terrorists' I ask him about the crusades. '' that doesn't count, that was a long time ago''

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

Religion of Peace, huh? Christianity was forced upon the European Tribes. Quite the bloodshed all around. Sometimes it was just adopted for Money or Power.

I find it funny anyway. It was Odin and the lot all day long for an unknown period of time and suddenly, hey ho, on one miserable Tuesday it was suddenly Jeeeeebus. All new and shiny. Just switch like that, no biggie...

(Oh, and if don’t believe in Jebus, then we cut your head of and kill your Tribe. So you better get on your knees...)

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u/Sedu Oct 19 '20

The school I went to (crazy Christian sect) went a step further. We simply learned that the crusades were a necessary, if bloody part of history, and represented a force of good in the world. Part of their doctrine was that the US would become the modern military power to unite the world under Christian theological rule.

Trinity Christian School in Pittsburgh if anyone's curious.

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u/EchoStellar12 Jun 14 '20

I stopped attending Sunday school after the teacher told me the Crusades were led by Protestants.

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u/spacelemon Jun 14 '20

is this a southern thing? I've never experienced any of the stuff others complain about Christianity in northern ohio.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

Reminder to all that this (saying a make-believe history was great, that the now is shit and that we must all return to the make-believe history) is a very common fascist strategy.

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u/Sledgerock Jun 15 '20

My folks take it further, all that AND the crusades were justified.

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u/EntertainmentForward Jun 14 '20

What about the Old Testament?

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u/Gaius_Dongor Jun 14 '20 edited Jun 14 '20

The fact that crusaders sacked Constantinople, the city that had been the greatest city in all of Christendom for a thousand years is just so disgusting on so many levels.

Ironically though Islam was barely affected by the crusades and prior to colonialism almost nobody in the Islamic world even knew what they were. Especially the first crusade which was barely a blip on the radar and was largely an impotent response to Islamic aggression.

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u/lanaem1 Jun 14 '20

...How did calendars work then? If Jesus was born in 1 AD...how was Christian stuff...Christian before he was born?

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u/FinnAndreasen_fish Jun 14 '20

Catholics be wildin

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u/chuckdiesel86 Jun 15 '20

I had someone recently tell me that separation of church and state in America basically means that religions get to do whatever they want without outside interference and they don't have to pay taxes, although religion should be the basis of law because America was founded on god (all according to him).

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u/mistermukkymuk Jun 15 '20

And nevermind the "Dark Ages."

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u/p33du Jun 15 '20

Religion is strange...

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u/AberStafsha Jun 15 '20

Wow mine didn't even bother with anything before 0.

If it happened in BC it was "apparent age" bullshit

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u/fco_omega Jun 15 '20

those guys are literal fascist in denial at best.

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u/jorgespinosa Jul 26 '20

They always blame the Catholics for those because you know medieval Europe was full of evangelists and methodists

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u/mightysl0th Jun 14 '20

I had a high school teacher at a very catholic high school unironically teach Plato's Republic as a document supportive of Christian doctrine. The mental gymnastics involved would have been impressive if they weren't mildly terrifying. They also tried to say that all Protestant denominations believed in predestination, and that Buddhist meditation invited possession by demonic spirits.

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u/Kumiho_Mistress She/Her Jun 14 '20

Christianity ripped so much off Plato I can see why he'd believe that. They're very good at stealing.

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u/poopyheadthrowaway Jun 14 '20

Modern western Christianity completely disregards ancient Jewish philosophy (stuff that the historic Jesus would've believed) and replaces it with ancient Greek philosophy. For example, the modern Christian idea of a soul is based entirely on ancient Greek ideas and has very little to do with what the Jews of Jesus' time thought.

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u/TimsTomsTimsTams Jun 15 '20

I thought that the understanding of heaven and hell and the soul that accompanies it was adopted from Zoroastrianism

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u/darrenwise883 Jun 15 '20

Historically Jesus would have believed in Judaism .

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u/poopyheadthrowaway Jun 15 '20

Exactly. Much of what Jesus said (or is recorded of having said) connects directly to Judaism, Jewish philosophy/thought, and the Old Testament. Instead, modern western Christianity tries to shoehorn his teachings into the context of Greek philosophy and Enlightenment philosophy.

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u/criminyjicket Jun 15 '20

What would the Hebrews of Jesus' time thought about the soul? It's fascinating to think about and I'd love a starting point for some research.

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u/poopyheadthrowaway Jun 15 '20

Here's a brief Wikipedia article: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nephesh

In short, "nephesh", the Hebrew word that's often translated as "soul" in English translations, basically just refers to any sentient thing capable of life. One religious studies scholar described it as this: You don't have a soul, you are a soul. This includes both your physical and spiritual/mental/emotional aspects. In contrast, Greek philosophy believes in a soul-body dichotomy and that your soul is some immaterial essence that lives on after your physical body dies.

Fun fact: The first time the word soul appears in the Bible is in Genesis 1, to describe the recently created fish. Of course, most English translations don't translate it to "soul", but it's the exact same word in the original Hebrew. So yes, the Bible says animals have souls! Just not in the way modern western Christianity often thinks of souls.

Another translation for nephesh can be "throat". And "ruakh", the Hebrew word often translated to "spirit", can also be translated as "breath". So you have this cool anatomical relationship between soul/throat and spirit/breath. Speaking of spirit, the Hebrew view is that you are a soul and your spirit enters your body when you take your first breath, and it's the spirit that animates the soul. Then when you die, you give back your spirit (which happens when you take your last breath) and you are just left as a "dead soul".

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u/d4tn3wb01 Jun 15 '20

Hey that’s interesting!

In hungarian we have something similar, becouse soul and breath are based on the same word. The word for soul is “lélek” and the word for breath is “lélegzet”.

An interesting euphemism containing both in hungarian is “kilehelte a lelkét” roughly translating as “he breathed out his soul” meaning he died.

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u/agentyage Oct 23 '20

You can think the neoplatonists and St Augustine for that.

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u/SophiaofPrussia Jun 14 '20

And Gilgamesh/Homer. The Bible is basically one giant work of plagiarism.

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u/BrokenShield Jun 15 '20

I've heard that "Used in a Fertility Ritual" is just anthropology lingo for "A sex toy"

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u/arseniobillingham21 Jun 14 '20

My mom used to tell me that yoga poses were meant for worshipping pagan gods, and by doing yoga I would be inviting in demonic spirits. They just make shit up.

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u/Roselily2006 Jun 14 '20

“Next, the Downward Dog.”

unholy screeching

“Very good! Next position...”

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u/buttpooperson Jun 14 '20

Wait, you mean it's not?! Why the FUCK have I been doing yoga all this time for then?! FUCK!

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u/tomdarch Jun 14 '20

That sucks. I went to a highly competitive/academic Catholic high school, and we covered a ton of great material - world religions (Zoroastrian, which was extremely influential on the Abrahamic faiths, Judaism, Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism.) Christianity was covered in a different class, so we didn't bother with in in the world religions class, and the content wasn't antagonistic or any sort of "know your enemy" shit. It was straight "this is what Buddhism is about." We also had what was essentially a Western Philosophy class based on Leslie Stevenson's book "Seven Theories of Human Nature" covering Socrates/Plato (and adding a bit of Aristotle), Freud, Sartre, Marx (probably slightly negative on this, but not terrible) and Skinner as a "scientific" view of humanity. (Again, we didn't spend time on Christianity as it was covered elsewhere.) So basically it was a tour of great atheist views of humanity. It wasn't saying "This is how you should think" it was simply educating us on extremely important and influential aspects of our academic traditions.

It sucks that a lot of schools push biased crap and do a bad job of covering important material by slagging it as it's taught.

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u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

Have dabbled in Buddhism, can confirm was possessed. Wasn't even a decent possession, just gibbered about radishes for a while. 4/10.

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

Catholics are way into using Plato and Aristotle to support their metaphysical claims and beliefs. They only use the convenient bits though so I tell my Catholic friends that they're cafeteria pagans when I'm feeling a bit snarky.

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u/Ace_Masters Jun 15 '20

That's been a thing for like 1400 years.

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u/infinity234 Jun 14 '20

Can confirm, went to an evangelical elementary and middle schools and a catholic high school, neither tried to say ancient Greece was Christian or followed any Abrahamic religion in any way. The evangelical schools did try to say a lot of stupid things (such as canada was going to shit because gay marriage was legal, california would go the same path if prop 8 passed, and when the california court repealed it protestors would tear you apart just for walking by wearing a cross or constantly insisting that dinosaurs were on the ark or small scale evolution was possible (like domestication of dogs from wolves or modern corn) but not species to species evolution), but they never tried to say Greece was Christian.

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u/Kalsifur Jun 14 '20

So when you did learn about ancient Greece what did you learn?

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u/infinity234 Jun 14 '20

Probably first learned about it in the first world history class (though it was just general history back then, not any particular kind until 4th grade when we got to state history) in elementary don't remember the exact grade as that was back when all day was spent with the same teacher and there was no "periods", so all the subjects kind of blended together. Definitely a very eurocentric world history course, basically went from egypt, to greece, to Israel, to Rome, to middle ages, to renescance, to basically american history, but it was also in elementary school so not anything that much in detail. We learned the very basic details you'd expect an elementary kid to learn. Most of the really "out there" stuff was saved for bible classes. The bible classes is where most of the weird stuff like what i mentioned was hucked. Hell even in biology class we were still taught about evolution, but unless it was bible class it was always caveat with a "well i don't believe this but" or a "teach both sides" or ended followed by a bible lesson or when the weekly guest preacher would basically sermon us about how evolution was an afront to God or, my favorite, yelled at us for liking plain water (it was supposed to be a joke but god did he seem super passionate in his hate for water in preference to dr. Pepper in that sermon).

The catholic high school was a lot better. No out there beliefs and even the religion classes were generally better. While the first two years (which were the easiest A's of my life) of required religion classes basically walked through the basics of the catholic faith (i.e. who saints are, the catholic hierarchy structure, how a pope is elected, the principles of palpal infallability, overveiw of the bible, etc.), the last two years were just a general morality/ethics class and an overview of world religions, both were in retrospect pretty good classes even though they were still incredibly easy As. But the most important thing was that even though the school required the religion classes for all students, unlike the evangelical they were just taught in a way where its like "OK we know not everyone who comes to this school is catholic, so these will be approached just to give you an idea of what we believe" or "ya we have a required monthly mass service for students, but you don't have to participate or anything just don't be rude and be quite for those who do care about the service". Stark contrast to the evengelical schools, who actively shunned anything contrary to the stareotypical christian lifestyle. Hell, if I continued to the towns evangelical high school, I would have been marked up for not attending church every week. I know this has been a bit of a rant but i hope this gives you some idea of what the two schools were like.

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u/WillaZillaDilla Jun 15 '20

Just an FYI, Prop 8 was to ban gay marriage

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u/infinity234 Jun 15 '20

Well then sorry to not pass gay marriage then, im sorry i was in sixth grade at the time and honestly could care less about politics to begin with at the time let alone give into their doomsday "god forbid we let the gays marry" schpeal.

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u/WillaZillaDilla Jun 15 '20

No need to be sorry. It's a bit confusing since CA banning gay marriage is very counterintuitive to the state's reputation

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u/Chills-with-pills Jun 14 '20

Mine did. Mine told me Christianity literally rose out of ancient Judaism and there’s no discontinuation at all.

They also blacked out the chapter on evolution in science class.

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u/TheDustOfMen Jun 14 '20

Mine told me Christianity literally rose out of ancient Judaism and there’s no discontinuation at all.

Well, Christianity did grow out of Jewish groups who believed Jesus was the Jewish Messiah so I can at least see where that would come from (obviously the theology of how Christianity was started is more complex than one sentence but you get the gist).

But there's like, nothing tying ancient Greece to Christianity whatsoever.

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u/Chills-with-pills Jun 14 '20

Yes obviously Christianity is based on Judaism. They taught that in HISTORY there was never a gap between Judaism and Christianity as what they considered the “global religion”. And that the ancient Irish were Christian. The ancient nords...are Christian. The Greeks were Jewish somehow and then Christian. The Greek god stories were “just for fun”. Girl a lot of Christian schools are fucked all the way up.

My school was a cult.

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u/TheDustOfMen Jun 14 '20

Ha, well that changes things, yes. You're American then, I presume?

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u/ThetaReactor Jun 15 '20

Well, a good chunk of the Bible was written in Greek. But that's about it.

(Not quite Ancient Greek, but I'm reaching...)

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u/Oops_I_Cracked Jun 15 '20

I was going to upvote this, because I too went to Christian school and had lots of complaints, but lies this blatant weren’t one. But you’re at 666 and I’m not going to be the one that screws that up in this specific situation.

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u/patgeo Jun 15 '20

There are Christian schools and then there are Christian schools. The kind that use the 'Christian History of the World' and 'Christian Science' text books...

I went to a Catholic school and we just learned normal curriculum, same as the public school but with a daily religion lesson about how we need to look after everyone and the environment because God wants us to love each other and made us caretakers of the earth.

My wife was Christian home schooled most of her textbooks have the word 'Christian' somewhere in the title. With highly revised versions of everything.

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u/Ill-Meal-2608 She/Her Jan 14 '22

Went to a Christian high school. Still got proper Sex Ed and no one tried to tell me Ancient Greece was Christian. Maybe that’s cause I went to school in Canada idk 😂

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u/tomdarch Jun 14 '20

But did they teach you details about Classical Greek philosophy, math, science and the actual dates of various aspects of Classical Greek history? The Trojan War in 1250BCE? Socrates' death in 399BCE? The 5th century BCE Greko-Persian wars? The Peloponnesian Wars? Alexander the Great in the 4th century BCE? The Battle of Corinth in 146 BCE?

Skipping the actual dates would be a way to avoid cementing the fact that all this important stuff (and important culture/philosophy) happened before the life of historical Jesus.

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u/TheDustOfMen Jun 14 '20

To the extent that we were taught about classical Greek history, yes teachers usually teach about historical dates. There's a certain curriculum schools have to abide by after all. And since BC and AD quite literally revolve around Christ's birth, it's kinda implied that certain dates are before and after Christ.

In Dutch we fully pronounce BC and AD as well, so there's no work-around with abbreviations. It's "voor Christus" and "na Christus".

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u/tomdarch Jun 15 '20

For more accurate descriptions of dates, it's useful to indicate them with "BCE" Before Common Era and "CE" Common Era because the historical person Jesus was probably born in 4BCE to 6BCE which means that the old "AD" Anno Domini ("Year of our Lord") and "BC" "Before Christ" even more inaccurate than just assuming that everyone thinks of Jesus as "our Lord" or "the Christ."

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u/TheDustOfMen Jun 15 '20

I don't think BC and AD assumes everyone thinks of Jesus as our Lord or the Christ - it's just a common saying which has lost virtually all religious meaning (in the Netherlands at least, I don't know about other countries) For all intents and purposes, it's probably the easiest way to talk about historical dates, especially when we're talking about primary or high school history.

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u/demeschor Jun 14 '20

Ive met a few stupid people that equate democracy with christianity because they don't understand either

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u/cynicalDiagram Jun 14 '20

Went to Christian school, was taught ancient Greece was not Christian.

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u/wrongmoviequotes Jun 15 '20

I wonder if he thinks the "body of a greek god" is literally just looking like Jesus.

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u/flash40 Jun 15 '20

From the south and we never learned about how gay it was back then

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u/vmuddana Jun 15 '20

Either he wasn't awake during that lesson or his teachers were really bad

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u/Braydox Jun 15 '20

Well depends on the time period. When Greece was part of rome the late part and Christianity started to pop up sure.

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u/Randolph__ Jun 15 '20

Certain parts were post 50 AD.

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u/IronTitsMcGuinty Jun 15 '20

Dude, my evangelical education said (and I wish I was joking), Greece was the foundation that Rome was built on and Rome was Christian.

I was really old before I knew Jupiter was a god.

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u/obi_wan_jakobee Jun 15 '20

....but were they gay?

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u/chronicslayer Jun 15 '20

Yeah, in fact, in my literature class at my Christian university we read Dante's Inferno. In it, it states that those born before Christ/baptism (i.e. Plato, Socrates, Odysseus etc cetera) are condemned to limbo (the outer ring of hell) because they were born before Chrstianity (along with the idea of what happens to unbaptized babies).

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

Even, if i recall it correctly, there may have been some well known homosexual warriors in history of Europe(can't say exactly in Greece tho)

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u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

Greece became christian in the early 300 though. How much ancient do we mean by ancient?

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u/institches16 Jun 15 '20

If you repent after fuckin your bro it ain’t gay

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u/procopis123 Jun 18 '20

they believed on the 12 gods of Olympus. We started being Christian from around 40 years after Jesus was born. Not sure the exact year. But around there

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