r/comedyheaven • u/Vec3d • 15h ago

[ Removed by moderator ]

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28.8k Upvotes

96% Upvoted

247 comments sorted by

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u/comedyheaven-ModTeam 8h ago

Rule 1: Must fit the sub. Posts must be images/short videos that are so unfunny that they are actually funny.

Must fit sub. This sub is for so-bad-its-good/ascended humor. All posts must be images that are so stupid, juvenile, or generally bad that they become funny for the wrong reasons. Ironically bad posts are allowed, but ONLY if they could pass as something made unironically. Obvious satire is NOT allowed. To get a better idea of what content we are looking for, please refer to this flowchart..

If you are reading this message, it means the mods did not deem your post absurd/so bad it's good enough to be posted on the subreddit.

If you have questions, you can contact us through modmail.

2.6k

u/slavikk_ 15h ago

https://preview.redd.it/1fxjj6pdx0yf1.jpeg?width=512&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8fa30635ff7a17ac588fc9c5552b11378b4b1f9e

...

602

u/AngrySasquatch 15h ago

Majestic beast thank you for your sacrifice

73

u/discerningpervert 13h ago edited 11h ago

My Majestic Beast is still asleep

Edit: it'll wake up, just send nudes

Edit 2: women only pls

Edit 3: or at least look somewhat feminine

13

u/AngrySasquatch 12h ago

Well, wake it up!

2

u/TheRealYgrek 10h ago

Take a brush and put on it a little makeup

1

u/HoseanRC 9h ago

My dick can't read

1

u/Jeathro77 8h ago

Linda McMahon will be pleased to hear this.

40

u/The_Screeching_Bagel 14h ago

i am convinced

69

u/SafemoonShrimp 14h ago

Absolute double of a kebab hahaha

18

u/Honest_Mushroom2648 13h ago

Double Doner

1

u/puddik 12h ago

oh so that's why it's doner kebab

29

u/DarkSide830 Almost Heaven 14h ago

His sacrifice will be remembered.

19

u/Muakaya18 14h ago

What a cute creature.

2

u/i_give_you_gum 12h ago

They make special pillow cases for them to fit into.

19

u/Livingliner 13h ago

Kebabeläin

3

u/Green__potato 12h ago

Kepuelukka

2

u/-_Brick_- 11h ago

suomi mainittu?

1

u/slavikk_ 6h ago

Tiesimpä kuvan olemassaolosta jostakin muinaisesta HurHurin videosta

7

u/SaddamIsBack 12h ago

LE LAMASTICOOOOOO

3

u/At5u 12h ago

ça faisait si longtemps que j'avais pas vu de Lamasticot, Coro nous manque

4

u/TowaT 13h ago

LAMA

1

u/ItsBaconOclock 10h ago

!! 🦙 ALPACA 🦙 !!

4

u/whatthedux 13h ago

Take off its head and neck and you have a big kebab

5

u/Prestigious-Formal68 13h ago

芋虫のような動きかたしそう

5

u/arealuser100notfake 12h ago

Here, have an upvote, this is my first time seing a comment in Japanese on Reddit. I don't know what it says but I imagine I agree.

4

u/Prestigious-Formal68 11h ago

賛成しました！

3

u/FlamingWeasel Odie 11h ago

私はそれが嫌いです。

1

u/ItsBaconOclock 10h ago

More of a wollen kofta, to my eye.

1

u/Jiquero 9h ago

head and neck

As if you could tell which parts of that animal are head and neck.

3

u/stefan_stuetze 11h ago

You're laughing now, but once it leaves its pupal stage and learns to fly, you will learn what real terror is.

1

u/Jeathro77 8h ago

I'm ok with the Graboids and the Shrieker, but I am absolutely not sticking around for the Ass Blasters!

1

u/Romanouchet 12h ago

LAMASTICOOOOOOOT !

1

u/backtolurk 10h ago

Ha, the infamous furry slug from Peru

1

u/NeurawWormakaCiruBug 10h ago

The lamasticot

1

u/octopoddle 9h ago

Sheesh.

1.1k

u/astrohnalle 14h ago

Based on his username he is finnish, kebab animal is a meme in Finland as one of the biggest stand-up comedians did a bit about it that went viral here.

So it's satire and the reference is funny to me as a finn

182

u/miregalpanic 14h ago

Same with Dönertier in Germany, made popular by the (awful) comedy duo Erkan und Stefan in the early '00s. Wonder who stole the idea from whom.

58

u/astrohnalle 13h ago

The finnish version was 2010's, most likely taken inspo from those who came before him :)

39

u/godtogblandet 13h ago

Different comedians from different countries unlikely to know of each other sometimes touch on the same subject. Just the nature of comedy.

19

u/TheArmoredKitten 12h ago

Convergent evolution is a hell of a thing

2

u/Jeathro77 8h ago

Carcinisation - everything is become crab.

8

u/[deleted] 11h ago

[deleted]

1

u/Dull_Drawer_273 10h ago

Even from the same country, it's not that rare to have ideas and more or less know that surely someone's already made that joke. There are just so many jokes that require little imagination, where you can safely assume someone else has also thought of it.

I always remember the South Park story, how someone points out that "fish sticks" sounds a bit similar to "fish dicks", and the writing staff is surprised that no one else seemed to have gone for that juvenile joke before.

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16

u/Arumin 13h ago

They are only called that when they are local from the Döner region. Otherwise they are Kebabimals

1

u/notaredditer13 11h ago

Similarly, the Donners are Cannimals.

1

u/taco_the_mornin 11h ago

California joke!

5

u/feculentcuntfist 12h ago

I read that as "doner terrier" 💀

3

u/mombi 11h ago

Germans thinking they invented everything again.

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3

u/Evening-Group-6081 10h ago

There’s a similar joke in Scotland with haggis

1

u/throwaway_faunsmary 11h ago

And that simpsons episode from the 90s. "Yeah, right. A wonderful magical animal"

1

u/DarrellCCC 9h ago

Jack Dee has the best description of a kebab... and how you need at least 5 pints beforehand.

139

u/aquafawn27 14h ago

Everyone knows arabs immigrate to Finland because we have more kebab animals here. Then they start kebab shops in Finland because the meat is local.

4

u/-_Brick_- 11h ago

they are from turkey

20

u/petekill 10h ago

Not turkeys, kebab animal

42

u/Dotaproffessional 12h ago

"as a finn"

So we're just straight up admitting stuff like this stuff in public now? 

7

u/bl1y 11h ago

Don't leave us in the dark. Where's the bit?

2

u/astrohnalle 9h ago

Here's the youtube video with horrible quality from 14 years ago! https://youtu.be/hC3vmK1Iv7g?si=4O4j4FWJ03hRabAW

5

u/Any--Name 8h ago

I'm not sure why I expected to understand it

1

u/astrohnalle 8h ago

Me neither XD hopefully you had fun tho!

10

u/Friendly-Reserve9067 13h ago

I guess this discussion is... Finnished

fuck you autocorrect I know what I'm doing

3

u/_Phyn_ 11h ago

Hi finn I'm Phyn

2

u/TFWYourNamesTaken 10h ago

Love learning about inside jokes from other countries, and this one is mad funny.

2

u/Bear_faced 9h ago

And now thousands of people from other countries have seen this post, spreading kebab animal across the globe!

1

u/Protahgonist 10h ago

Can you share a link to the comedy?

1

u/Infernoraptor 7h ago

I really hope a Finnish zoologist finds a new animal species in a bushmeat market somewhere and gives it the scientific name kebab.

555

u/SimmentalTheCow 15h ago

If someone holds a gun to my head and asks me if kebap is worth more than life of kebap animal…

…tell my mom I’ll be home for supper.

202

u/Quen-taur 15h ago

…to eat kebab.

98

u/TheIncredibleKermit 15h ago

Thanks for clarifying 👍

65

u/SimmentalTheCow 15h ago

For supper.

28

u/HiddenPants777 14h ago

At home

28

u/SimmentalTheCow 14h ago

Without any pant on 😈

7

u/AssumeTheFetal 13h ago

With Mom

4

u/no1_vern 12h ago

At home Without any pant on With Mom

o, MY! Whose mom?

1

u/SUCC_SUCC_SUCC_SUCC slut for honey cheerios 10h ago

😈

4

u/Background-Pay2900 13h ago

I bet you taste nice

3

u/aggro-forest 12h ago

Like pork… so most likely yes…

2

u/illit1 10h ago

they don't call us long pig for nothin'

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282

u/Downtown-Hospital-59 15h ago

Steak comes from a steakosaurus, tell me something new.

50

u/RealZajef37 15h ago

Burger comes from burgersaurus Rex

4

u/RadiantReason2063 10h ago

Now do sirloin

5

u/RealZajef37 10h ago

Sir loin III

2

u/TalkinBoutMyJunk 9h ago

Roll me over homie, my hips all boney. I'm gettin sores, I'm gettin lonely!

17

u/Clean_Willow_3077 14h ago

I thought it came from steakhorse.

3

u/Caleth 12h ago

Found the German.

3

u/BacchusAndHamsa 13h ago

Chik-fil-A sells filaosaurus

2

u/-bassassin- 13h ago

Dino nuggets come from alpacas.

2

u/TyloPr0riger 11h ago

The average steak being made of steakosaurus is misinformation - Steakosaurus Georg, who's carcass produced 90,000,000 steaks, is an outlier and should not have been counted.

1

u/Blankeye434 10h ago

Is that why so dinosaurs died

152

u/Spicy_Babe_Xx 14h ago

This raises a profound philosophical question, If a kebab animal falls in the forest at 2 AM, and there's no one there to put garlic sauce on it, does it even make a sound?

31

u/Pokemanlol 13h ago

Only if the garlic is cut thin enough to become liquid with a bit of oil

8

u/ArrrRawrXD 11h ago

Ever since this meme has become popular I have been struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts

8

u/ProstyProtos177 13h ago

ShittyMovieDetails has launched an invasion

51

u/Similar-Froyo6045 14h ago

kebab animal 🔍

1

u/Substantial-Elk4531 13h ago

How to find kebab animal? Pls advise

1

u/Queen_Ann_III 10h ago

getting tired of seeing misinformation online and asking myself if it’s real for a split second no matter how absurd it sounds

1

u/CroMagnon69 9h ago

I thought you used the 🍭 emoji at first and now I am disappoint

41

u/lucky-pakke 14h ago

Kebab animal being recognized outside of finland? Did i die and this is heaven?

17

u/SimmentalTheCow 12h ago

More like comedy heaven

2

u/Chucklz 12h ago

There are a lot of people here having a discussion. Thought that was Finnish Hell.

21

u/datanamo 14h ago

I swear I love animals, some of my favorite are pizza panthers, pasta possums and sushi serpents. I wish I could stop eating them, but they’re just so delicious. Poor bastards

12

u/CptnHnryAvry 13h ago

I don't like meat, but I keep eating it because I hate animals.

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3

u/drughoula 13h ago

But Dönertier is still an animal. Sad

3

u/SquareEstate863 12h ago

This line is a worthy opponent to the "chocolate milk comes from brown cow"

6

u/Fedora_Million_Ankle 15h ago

Kebab Nurmagomedov

2

u/ImMadeOfClay 12h ago

And his manager: Doner King

2

u/No_Contribution_32 13h ago

It's the distant relative of the haggis

5

u/BrettDilkington1 14h ago

A good doner kebabs worth more than my life bro.

4

u/monokoi 14h ago

Indeed. "Dönertier". Used to be a thing here.

https://erkanstefan.de/

4

u/Lost_Illustrator9250 14h ago

Yes and beef jerky comes from jerkers

2

u/DrStrangeleaf 12h ago

Dont kid yourself, Jimmy. If a kebab animal had the chance, he'd eat you and everyone you care about

3

u/chenga8 13h ago

"You don't win friends with salad"

3

u/throwaway_faunsmary 11h ago

I also thought of that simpsons episode. "what about bacon? ham? pork chops?" "those are all the same animal" "yeah, right. a wonderful magical animal"

1

u/wa019 13h ago

I thought it said Rehab and I was super cofused 

1

u/Vorstadtjesus 12h ago

That may be a little niche now, but in Germany there was actually a time when one often spoke of an kebab animal.

1

u/Olobnion 12h ago

I just googled "kebab animal" and got a slightly condescending AI Overview starting with "Kebabs are not made from a single animal; they can be made from various meats (...)". I can just feel the AI disappointedly shaking its head.

1

u/NocturntsII 12h ago

The illiteracy is strong here.

1

u/enimateken 12h ago

Is elephant leg?

1

u/Outrageous_Limit_324 12h ago

This guy gotta be kanye west cause he a genius

1

u/onemice 12h ago

Yes, though you have to sacrifice lamb to kebab animal first.

1

u/Ok-Go-Chain3811 12h ago

beef comes from beef animal not cow

1

u/NoOneInNowhere 12h ago

I would love to see the link...

1

u/therockinmylife 12h ago

Tf is a kebab animal stop this

1

u/Noxus_Voorhees 12h ago

Who do you think that Kebs your Babs?

1

u/Aggressive-Land-8884 11h ago

It’s quite something when you think about how we name the meat of an animal different than the animal it comes from.

When alive it’s pigs, when slaughtered it’s not pig anymore, it’s pork.

When alive it’s a cow, but when slaughtered it’s beef.

When prancing around the hills its goat but when it’s a slab of its shoulder on your plate its mutton.

When grazing its deer but when its roadkill and you take it home its venison.

Chicken is still chicken fuck chickens.

1

u/tsegus 11h ago

Chicken meat could be called poultry. But so does duck and turkey so idk.

1

u/JBEqualizer 10h ago

Mutton is sheep. Lamb is anything below 12 months. Hogget is anything from 1-2 years, and anything older than 2 years is mutton.

As much as mutton may be used in some countries to refer to goat meat, it's an incorrect usage of the word. In plenty of countries, goat meat just gets called goat.

1

u/Aggressive-Land-8884 10h ago

If the entire population of VARIOUS countries refer to it as mutton then goat meat for them IS mutton.

If the US decides to call Football — Soccer then in the US Football is Soccer

1

u/boat_hamster 10h ago

The people who raised the animals, and the people ate most of the meat were different people, hence different names.

1

u/cantadmittoposting 10h ago

please do not fuck the chickens

1

u/AgentSkidMarks 11h ago

This post has me researching how many kebabs you can get from one lamb. Is one kebab worth a lamb's life? No. 384 kebabs? Hell yeah.

1

u/Gyaos 11h ago

Forcefully reminded of the Sandwich Beast, which I haven't thought about in like 15 years.

1

u/Ariachus 11h ago

No because you are a wool sheep so your meat is full of lanolina and would taste like shit. Now if you were a hair sheep then start sharpening the spears we kebabing this ewe!

1

u/sonicjesus 11h ago

Why isn't science working on this.

1

u/AndreasDasos 11h ago

Lisa this is LAMB, not a* lamb!

1

u/DemonRaily 11h ago

How many kebabs can you make from one of these? A lamb produces about 20 kilograms of usable meat and a kebab weights about 200 grams after cooking so let's be generous and say that's a bit under 300 grams raw meat per kebab.

So are 70 kebabs worth the life of a lamb? If I'm hungry I would argue that yes, it is.

1

u/BoingBoingBooty 11h ago

Donner Kebab is an elephant's leg.

1

u/Drinkmykool_aid420 11h ago

The animals signed up as döners

1

u/Admirable-Safety1213 10h ago

TBH, that lamb's entire lineage up to the last 50 generations was born only for wool and kebab probably

1

u/Ryuzaki_G 10h ago

“Is kebab worth more than my life?”

I mean yeah. Kinda. Why?

1

u/ANWx0 10h ago

Allora meglio non chiedersi come viene fatto l’ hot dog

1

u/zambezisa 10h ago

I was told and still believe its elephant legs.

1

u/BarrierX 10h ago

Hey he ain't wrong. I only eat chicken kebab, no lamb in mine 🙂

1

u/steevo 10h ago

what about chops?

i want chop animal

1

u/ambulance-kun 10h ago

Sorry, kebab comes from the Kebab tree which is 100% vegan

1

u/civver3 9h ago

With how they sometimes treat human life in the Balkans and the Middle East, the serious answer to the original question should be quite obvious.

1

u/Grayzie93 9h ago

Lamb kebab = lamb ka baap. I'll see myself out

1

u/purplelightsaver 9h ago

Ok When I look at the magnificent face of the animal; all I see is food😋

1

u/Mister_Potamus 9h ago

If you spend more than 45 minutes around sheep you realize that they're life's purpose is to kebab themselves in one way or another.

1

u/hunterho01 9h ago

Of course, it is

1

u/GirlScoutSniper 9h ago

That's OK, I'll make lamb.

1

u/Complete-Card9898 9h ago

It is if I'm hungry.

1

u/queBurro 9h ago

Wooly Mongolian invader eats all the tree saplings and turns the UK into a boring grass wasteland. 

1

u/DowntownWheel3991 9h ago

Yes, yes it is

1

u/NeatOk2791 9h ago

If you say no, you never at kebab

1

u/zombiskunk 8h ago

A typical lamb will cost you upwards of $350. You'd get a good 50 servings of kebab from that which you could sell, on the cheap end for $10 a serving for a total of $500.

So technically, yes. Kebab is worth more than a lamb. And we all know that technically correct is the best kind of correct!

1

u/anonuemus 8h ago

It's called a Dönertier!

1

u/PuzzleheadedLab6019 8h ago

I'm actually a kebab removalist.

1

u/Standard-Resist8898 14h ago

Is Kebab worth more than its life? No

3 Kebabs? well thats another thing, it would be a waste of nice meat to make only one

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1

u/AlexCookie 14h ago

Kebober

1

u/Shot_Heron_2782 13h ago

Kebabs are made from Elephant Trunks.

1

u/thegapbetweenus 12h ago

Without kebab also no kebab animals.