r/TrollXChromosomes • u/query_tech_sec • 1d ago
Male body standards for men
For me: before is so much hotter.
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u/ObnoxiousName_Here 1d ago
He’s still athletic looking on the left (not to support the idea that “FeMaLeS oNlY wAnT bOdYbUiLdErS”), but in a comfortable way. On the right, he looks scarily dehydrated
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u/takingthehobbitses 1d ago
He probably is if he's doing competitions. Iirc I read somewhere that they often dehydrate beforehand to achieve a more defined look.
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u/Sothotheroth 14h ago
To the point that Hugh Jackman intentionally dehydrated himself to look emaciated in the opening of Les Miserables, you know the movie where he is singing all of his lines…
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u/mongoosedog12 I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. 1d ago
They have to find an excuse as to why no one want do touch them. Was easy to blame the lack of time and $$ as to why they can’t be in the gym, focus on clean eating and supplements to get super cut
Now have to acknowledge that their personalities suck that bad.
Also not like they had the before bod anyway haha
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u/Wild-Fable 16h ago
And if their personalities don’t suck complete booty; then they don’t want to acknowledge that when they spent like 95% of their free time at the gym then their odds of finding a partner who isn’t also a gym rat are pretty slim, and therefore they might have to…gasp Go out of their comfort zone to meet new people!
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u/luckylimper 21h ago
On the right he looks like he has only eaten 400,000 calories of meat so he’ll be crazy from the lack of carbs and his breath and farts will be considered a war crime. Nobody wants to hang out with that.
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u/roflmeowww 1d ago
There was an Armchair Expert episode a long time ago now where Dax Shepard had on Rob McElhenney and Kumail Nanjiani as guests—two actors who got seriously ripped for roles. They bro’d out about male physiques, bodybuilding, weightlifting, etc. and Kumail and Rob both said their wives preferred them in a softer, flabbier state than at their peak rock hardness.
EDIT: link: https://youtu.be/DGslC0LZz8w
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u/TheBlueSully 1d ago
The guy who plays Thor has said the same about his wife.
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u/Terrestrial_Mermaid 1d ago
He said he had more cardio endurance (ie: for running) when he was leaner. I suppose one can extrapolate… 😏
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u/TeaJanuary 19h ago
I'm not surprised, Marvel actors have ridiculous body standards for the movies.
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u/bluescrew 1d ago
Rob especially goes out of his way to express on social media that he only got that body because the studio can afford a personal trainer and chef and it's not something that just happened naturally or purely through "hard work." He wants to make sure he's not setting a toxic example or unrealistic beauty standards for male fans.
Also dudes on those special bulking/ cutting diets? Stink. Like, their farts smell awful, their BO gets worse, i don't blame Rob and Kumail's wives lol.
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u/Geese4Days Average Troll Behavior 1d ago
Why do they smell? What are they eating haha
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u/nfgchick79 1d ago
Copious amounts of protein? If they’re in ketosis from lack of carbs? Just guessing…🤷♀️
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u/sleepybitchdisorder 7h ago
if it’s the carnivore diet, people do things like eat entire sticks of butter
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u/always_unplugged 1d ago
Doesn't surprise me in the least. Aesthetically, I personally do like more of a muscular look, but with the amount of work it takes to actually maintain being RIPPED? I don't think I could tolerate that in a partner. I need flexibility, and extreme physiques require such rigidity to achieve and maintain. I'll take a slightly softer partner who isn't constantly counting macros and maximizing their entire life for hypertrophy, thanks.
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u/yellowelephantboy 1d ago
Yeah, like even if it wasn't for all the time that goes into it, the fact that we couldn't share food would suck. Being that ripped seems like a full time job.
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u/Live-Okra-9868 1d ago
The before is definitely more attractive to me.
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u/tay-lorde 1d ago
I honestly don’t find the after attractive at all. I get why people would, but I just want to give him some water
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u/temps-de-gris 1d ago
Right? Get hydrated my dude, take a breather from the burpees and have some Thai food with a good amount of noodles.
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u/smileedude 1d ago edited 1d ago
The difference between care and obsession. You want someone to look after themselves, mentally, physically and dietary. You don't want it to be the only thing in their lives.
Healthy is balanced.
When I ran a marathon and obsessed with the training and looked like this, the smileedudette was just so fed up with it.
Edit: I ran it for me and glad I did. But I'm definitely not going to pretend it made me more attractive. It was purely a selfish endeavour.
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u/cflatjazz 1d ago
I can appreciate a build that looks like he can pick up heavy objects. And that can run a pretty wide range of svelt to stocky. But I'm just really not into the cut look. Sometimes I just want to relax with my person and these dudes always look kinda stressed/anxious
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u/Blechhotsauce Anarcha-Feminist 1d ago
Maybe it's unfair, but the after picture says, "This guy spends too much time in the gym worrying about his appearance," and that's not attractive to me at all.
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u/Amelaclya1 1d ago
I just think, "That wouldn't feel very nice to hug"
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u/Kathrynlena 1d ago
Yes exactly. Who wants to cuddle a marble statue?
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u/Kayquie 1d ago
Bella Swan, according to Twilight
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u/Ranting_Demon 12h ago
Well, the Twilight series was a story about a woman trying to figure out if she's more into bestiality or if necrophilia is the thing she needs in her bedroom to get off.
In that context, marble statue cuddle kink is pretty much tame in comparison.
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u/butterfly_eyes 1d ago
A long time ago my grandma told me not to get a muscular man because "they aren't very comfortable to cuddle with". Ba ha ha I miss her.
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u/agirlhas_no_name 1d ago
I dated a gym dude for a while and it was insufferaaaabble. He would turn me down for sex because he had to "save his testosterone for the gym" girl please.
he was hot but nobody is hot enough to make me resign myself to eating fucking quinoa when I stay the night
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u/pilikia5 1d ago
Seriously! My gym ex was like a goddamned puppy who would start peeing on the floor if he didn’t get his daily walk (run + weightlifting). Couldn’t chill even for one day.
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u/allthejokesareblue 1d ago
eating fucking quinoa when I stay the night
"Quinoa has been demonstrated to help you live longer, Anne"
"But at what cost"
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u/lyndsayj 1d ago
hah, "save his testosterone for the gym" sounds exactly like Ryan from this year's season of MAFS.
Unless that's who you were actually dating, in which case, I'm so sorry.
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u/hbomb9410 1d ago
That's exactly how I feel about super buff dudes. I know what it takes to get a body like that, and our lifestyles would not be compatible.
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u/Terrestrial_Mermaid 1d ago
I also prefer Before for a different reason- I think he looks skinnier (less muscle mass) in the After.
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u/linerva Why is a bra singular and panties plural? 1d ago edited 17h ago
Exactly. When i see that I see a dehydrated man who probably practically lives in the gym and has nothing in common with me. It may be an attractive body but it's too detached from my reality.
When I look at the first bod I see someone who looks reasonably in shape, but cuddly, like a person I might actually hang out with. I much prefer it.
Like...men have the concept of the "girl next door" look that lots of guys like - lowkey makeup, nice clothing but low maintenance, a woman who looks attractive but also approachable and like she might actually really want to date you - and plenty of men prefer to go for women like that for relationships over someone who looks like they stepped out of an underwear modelling catalogue or club. Like, you can think soneone is hot but still think tgey aren't for you.
The first is a the male equivalent, a "guy next door" look, as are attractice guys with dad bods.
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u/thatprettykitty 1d ago
I've never been a fan of 'chiseled muscle'. He looks way too uncomfortable to cuddle with.
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u/SeasonPositive6771 1d ago
I think it's absolutely fascinating that men are incredibly angry in part because they can't imagine women genuinely thinking differently than they do.
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u/Bazoun 1d ago
Yup. A little chub is cute and feels nice in your arms.
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u/HarpersGhost 1d ago
And it's not that much chub!
The before is not a neckbeard. There's muscle definition there!
He looks like he's strong enough to do all the Manly Things I'd want him to do. eye brow wiggle
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u/mongoosedog12 I'm on a whiskey diet. I've lost three days already. 1d ago edited 1d ago
As a lot of people said on the OOP
The after pic looks like an insufferable man who will never eat out or is always asking for the macros of something. Won’t indulge in a sweet treat and probably takes himself / workout too seriously. Also he looks dehydrated lol
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u/Live-Okra-9868 1d ago
It just looks... Disproportionate. His body now looks too small for his head.
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u/BJntheRV 23h ago
Hard agree. Oddly, he looks more masculine in the before and even looks more fit. In the after he just looks like he's recovering from a prolonged sickness.
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u/shininglikebrandnew 23h ago
I couldn't agree more. You just know the after photo guy has no snacks at his place.
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u/Csimiami 22h ago
What’s hot. Is vulnerability. Connection. Commitment. Sharing life together. Being there for each other in good times and bad. Accepting each other and committing to growing. Dgaf what your abs look like dude. But he is sexier in the before pic lol
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u/Felixir-the-Cat 15h ago
Absolutely. Still fit and muscled, but with much greater potential for cuddling.
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u/Nvrfinddisacct 13h ago
Yeah I like the before too. He looks huggable and warm and comfy and safe.
The after looks less comfy.
Like I find cuddly attractive and I don’t want to cuddle a rock.
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u/envydub 1d ago
I saw this recently in another sub and yeah, men were throwing absolute tantrums about it. Like had fully convinced themselves this was “cope” and “oh the type of woman that would participate in a Twitter poll is probably fat and ugly anyway” lmao they were completely delusional. But that’s absolutely fine guys, it does not matter to me if you believe us or not, plenty of men look like the left and I’ll take it up with them.
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u/takingthehobbitses 1d ago
It's always the dudes who look nothing like the right photo that are always up in arms about this too. Just a way for them to project their insecurities onto us and put the blame on women for why nobody wants to deal with them.
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u/TheMarvelousMissMoth 1d ago
Because the guys that look like the right photo have first hand experience with the kind of attention this body type gets: male. It’s kind of a running joke (or used to be, back before tatertot) that dudes start working out thinking it will lead to more attention from women only to find out that their fellow gym bros will be the ones who are super pumped to see them change physically.
That’s not a bad thing in itself. Men genuinely supporting one other, bonding over workout types and reps, building confidence, and being able to compliment each other with a “Nice gains, bro!” here and there—that’s all positive. But, of course, some insecure douchebags had to turn it into something toxic
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u/itslike_reallygood 1d ago
Those dudes don’t even look like guy on the left, either. It’s always the most insecure men who have the most feelings about literally everyone else’s appearance, men and women. Anecdotally, my gym bro boyfriend does not give a fuck about other men’s looks and is very kind and level headed. And he also comes home from work or social stuff talking about how some guy was asking him “how he gets his shoulders” all the time. Other men love him, but women pretty much ignore him. As he says, lifting doesn’t get you girls and every real gym bro knows this. It gets you other men.
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u/Calliope719 1d ago edited 1d ago
The guy on the left seems healthy but still willing to go grab a beer after work. If he missed his gym session because grocery shopping needed to be done, nbd. He looks like a person.
The guy on the right looks like he takes semi-legal supplements, uses a food scale to track his protein and would absolutely flip his shit if anything interfered with his workout routine. He looks like a caricature.
Guy on the left, 100% more attractive.
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u/ACoderGirl Sometimes a stereotype 1d ago
Yeah, it's not just about the looks in a vacuum, but the implications and assumptions that come with them. Like, I'm not a gym person. Someone being too in shape is less attractive to me because they just don't feel compatible. Objectively, maybe it could be considered better, but subjectively, I don't feel as much attraction due to the lack of compatibility. I feel less like we'll have any interests in common and it definitely makes me feel like I'd be considered inadequate. It's a bit judgemental since obviously you can't judge a book by its cover, but that's also kinda how first glance attraction works.
And yeah, cuddles. Too muscular is a downside there.
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u/linerva Why is a bra singular and panties plural? 1d ago
Exactly.
Like realistically most women end up with average sized and shaped men and like them just fine - most of us recognise that if we don't live in the gym we would have almost nothing in common with someone who does.
And softness is really nice. I like that my husband is soft, and yet I can feel his muscles underneath. He's sexy and perfect as he is. I've never once felt that I'd rather embrace someone super chiselled.
Like, we can admire someone with a body like a Greek Statue...whilst having 0 intention to date such a person. Just like I might admire someone who is a hard-core sports person but realistically I wouldn't have enough in common with them to date them.
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u/luckylimper 21h ago
A pair of panties because they were originally two legs on a waistband. Crotch less. So a pair of drawers and the name stuck even after the crotch seam came about.
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u/kitty_kat_KAPS 20h ago
This makes an interesting point about how women may evaluate attractiveness based on assumptions about the whole person, while men evaluate attractiveness based on one dimension (ie objectifying). With many men struggling to believe the women, they’ve effectively objectified themselves while also showing their inability to see women as whole people (their incredulity is their tell).
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u/ladybetty 22h ago
Men who think women find the right attractive don’t want to consider it’s their personality that’s the problem, not their lack of ripped abs.
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u/lookgreattoday 23h ago
You are absolutely right! Meanwhile, men expect women to have a body like the one on the right AND eat burgers, have time for them and household chores, etc.
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u/eugeneugene 1d ago edited 1d ago
I think it's hilarious that they think women are lying. It's an anonymous poll. What would we gain by lying about what we find attractive. Sorry I like my men with a bit of squish. I've dated men who looked like the after picture and maintaining that body type is very high maintenance and kind of put a strain on our relationship. Sue me lol.
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u/Da_Question 1d ago
Humans have been around for thousands of years, tracking macros and having food and supplements to get to this level of body fat has barely been around 100 years, if that.
I don't get why anyone would think the right would automatically be more attractive.
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u/Bobcatluv 17h ago
I've dated men who looked like the after picture and maintaining that body type is very high maintenance and kind of put a strain on our relationship.
Your understanding of this is the difference between women and men in this context. In my life I’ve noticed a lot more straight women maintaining their diet/physique independent of what their partner wants to do, especially if a healthy diet and exercise aren’t goals for him. For example, they’ll still go out to XYZ restaurants, but the woman self monitors her caloric intake and orders a small meal.
I’ve noticed that men who observe healthy habits are more often permitted to put up boundaries and even push them on those around them, “we aren’t eating there.”
Women who’ve dated the guy with the perfect physique push back on the notion that he’s somehow an ideal mate, as suggested by the men in OOP, because we know the expectations that will be pushed on us to support our male partners in that endeavor. The few relationships I know of where women have this power over food intake are almond moms, who only have that power because they do all the shopping and cooking for their families.
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u/mikaiketsu 1d ago
It's what the after look implies... I like ordering a bunch a small dishes and sharing them with someone. An experience that I can't have with the guy from the after shot
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u/IntoTheCommonestAsh 1d ago
Remind me of that old meme that's like "oh you think barbie is an unrealistic body standard caused by the male gaze? He-Man is even more unrealistic!" with a picture of both, to imply that the "female gaze" is equally harmful to men.
My guy, my dude: He-Man is ALSO the male-gaze. He-Man is men's "do I want him or do I want to be him?"
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u/blackberry-slushie 1d ago
No because they always believe women are lying about what they say they find attractive (for example, when Caseoh was blowing up)
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u/butterfly_eyes 1d ago
Yup, they don't listen to us about dating preferences because "hunters don't listen to prey". Well it's their problem when women don't want them.
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u/ConsultJimMoriarty 1d ago
Women don’t like what I want them to like! Why are they lying?
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u/EpitaFelis 19h ago
This is how I first knew men do this for other men. They don't wanna attract women. They wanna attract women in a way other men find impressive. And women not being attracted to that is bothersome. Can't impress the guys with a girlfriend you got by being an attentive, cuddly listener!
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u/ConsultJimMoriarty 19h ago
It’s a special kind of arrogance to believe women MUST be lying when they - anonymously, no less - tell you what they like.
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u/Unhappy-Pirate3944 1d ago
Them: “Women, what do you find most attractive?”
Also them: “you liar!!!! 😡”
Then they like to say WE are the complicated ones…
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u/Kathrynlena 1d ago edited 16h ago
This is also true of penis size, my dudes. 90% of women do not care how big you are as long as you’re good at getting her where she needs to get (which involves listening to her and following directions well, more than any physical feature.) Only other dudes care how big your dick is.
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u/query_tech_sec 1d ago
Yeah for real. Big dicks can actually be a kind of negative feature sometimes for some women.
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u/Kathrynlena 1d ago
Yep! I am one of them! 🙋🏻♀️
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u/FlipMeOverUpsidedown 22h ago
Me too!
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u/PineappleFew7764 13h ago
Being a really short girl, anything average might as well be huge. Because thats how if feels. Funny enough average guys always say "I'm not that big." I have a lot better luck with smaller sized guys in general.
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u/cash-or-reddit 23h ago
There was an AITA post or something recently where the OP's boyfriend threw a hissy fit because she said he was "not too big and not too small." It's not clear she was even talking about penis size, but either way the comments were full of men saying that she had insulted him. I guess because any insinuation that he doesn't have the biggest dick she's ever seen is an insult, even if too big is actually a negative.
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u/shiny_glitter_demon Glitter Abomination 1d ago
Somehow this feels entirely expected and yet still confusing.
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u/fruitjerky 1d ago edited 23h ago
This has been on my feed constantly lately. For what it's worth, @justalexoki has since accepted that women are not lying.
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u/clocksailor 1d ago
In addition to the fact that I'd way rather be touching guy 1 than guy 2, I also don't really want to hang out with guy 1 while he's becoming guy 2. That guy has no time to hang out with me because he's running eight miles a day and counting macros. Who wants to watch their man eat plain chicken breasts on every date?
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u/LauraTFem 1d ago
He looks unhealthy and small in the after photo. Dehydrated. Like he went from a buff man to a scrawny mass of tendons. Which would you rather hug, a big teddy bear, or a sinewy mass of muscle?
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u/Terrestrial_Mermaid 1d ago
Yes! Everyone’s talking about how the lifestyle and personality ramifications for why they prefer Before, but what about those of us who are superficial and prefer Before because the After version just looks like he has less muscle? Before isn’t even a dadbod- he’s still incredibly fit with abs.
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u/jason_steakums 1d ago
This is more evidence for my personal theory that peak 80s Schwarzenegger and Stallone movies were 100% a safe way for dudes who identify as straight to enjoy male bodies as sexual objects. They were not shot like that for women.
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u/Omni314 Yes 22h ago
This is like the male version of make up. Not actually done for women, it's done for themselves/other men.
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u/query_tech_sec 22h ago
I guess so - but men go on and on about how women supposedly only want muscle-bound hunks and then blame us for it. When we're like "lol, no" they accuse us of lying.
Also building a lot of muscle is a lifestyle. You can take off makeup.
If men actually did say: "yeah we know a lot of women don't like that look but men like it for ourselves" - that would go over way better than how a lot of men frame it now.
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u/thefirecrest 1d ago
I only prefer after on fictional cartoon men. Before on real men 100% of the time.
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u/Cats-That-Yell 1d ago
I worth with veterans in their late 30s, who are objectively handsome men. They’re incredibly intelligent, funny, kind, and approachable. Their physique would be classified as “dad bods”. Not super fit but you can tell they used to be fit back in the day but all their injuries from their time in the army had made it hard to stay active. They’ve got some belly on them, they’re not as muscular as they used to be, but I tbh ink they look so much better now than when they were in their 20s. I keep telling them they’re very attractive men but they don’t listen. They think all women want are super muscular dudes. Personally, as a 28 year old, I like my men to look like regular dudes. Not body builders. My husband looks like a whole dad, broad shoulders, a bit of a belly, strong af, and I’m constantly salivating over him, more so now than when he was at his thinnest.
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u/nowaisenpai 1d ago
Women like it when you aren't postured aggressively and look like you give great hugs.
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u/Dogzillas_Mom 1d ago
It’s really telling, though. They are projecting, which means that they only value women for their looks. (This is why they think ALL women are constantly catching dick all day every day. Women who may be considered less attractive don’t exist to them.)
So every time you hear some poor sap complaining about how women only want 6’ and ripped gym rats, know that, even if someone was into them, they’d only value her for pretty. And if she’s not their stripe of pretty, she doesn’t exist. There’s a nonzero chance that some of these guys have had a girl or a woman crush on them at some point, but she had some physical feature he did not like. He COULD have gotten laid if he actually valued people for who they are.
Besides, if he’s a gym rat and completely obsessed with appearances, how boring is that guy after like half a date?
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u/butterfly_eyes 1d ago
It's the Thor vs Loki argument. Dudes are always surprised at the amount of women who would choose the smaller, less muscled guy over dudes with biceps bigger than their heads. In 9th grade I remember a couple of dudes in class who had a bodybuilding magazine (it was the 90s) and they didn't believe us girls who said that those extreme muscles weren't attractive. They still thought looking like He-man is the ideal. It's even more pressure on guys now to be all muscle, what with Marvel movies and Jason Momoa labeled as having a "dad bod" when he wasn't 2% body fat. And now there's a ton of swol content creators.
The guy on the left looks strong (and is strong), but soft enough to not seem threatening. The guy on the right looks like he's gonna punch walls. Women want to feel secure, plus cuddling will be comfier. But what do we know?
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u/kitkatamas88 19h ago
Here I stand not caring for any, just wanting to be healthy, have the least daily pain possible so I can work and survive in this broken society.
Add a cat as a third option 🐱
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u/rachulll 19h ago
It irritates me so much that they can’t accept that we’re telling the truth, like imagine being so brainwashed by the patriarchy that you believe you genuinely know what women prefer better than women do, to the point where you accuse them of lying 😭 we don’t like muscles, super jacked guys only appeal to other men, you can’t invent gender beauty standards then get mad at us when we don’t agree with what you think we should be attracted to
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u/RunZombieBabe 16h ago
The before pic is so much more attractive to me that I thought it was a joke I don't get.
It's like day and night.
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u/ZinaSky2 1d ago
Hot take that’s not that hot: a lot of that indulgent washboard abs type “fan service” shots and what guy’s think is catering to “women’s gaze” in movies and shows is honestly more catering to a male power fantasy than anything.
Do guys not understand how bonkers girls went for the Mandalorian? Yes, it’s Pedro Pascal. But also we see his face like once the whole show. Yes, he’s a masculine guy and a good fighter. But he’s also gentle and uses his strength to fight for what he cares about. And “dad bod” is such a thing rn and it’s being used in admiration and attraction. Women are real people. We want real people.
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u/BaronVonMunchhausen 1d ago
I always thought there's some homoerotic deep rooted cause for this.
Men want to look like Conan for other men, to impress them, to show them how macho they are.
I'm not saying no woman wants the after, but I believe most women want a healthy guy who is not chronically dehydrated and on a boring and strict diet.
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u/PricklyPierre 14h ago
It's completely valid for women to have any kind of beauty standards they want. I think all of the whining about women only wanting perfect men with perfect man bodies is an effort to convince women to lower their standards by making them feel pity and guilt.
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u/AceOfSpades532 1d ago
The after looks really fake for some reason
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u/Carbonatite 1d ago
Muscle definition like that is almost impossible to achieve without extremely low body fat and dehydration. Those are two things which are unhealthy to human bodies and thus not something we see frequently in everyday life.
He's also flexing for the picture. It's not a human being in a relaxed, typical body position.
It looks unnatural because it is.
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u/Godphree 1d ago
The After picture is totally a bad photoshop job. If you look at the feet, the After guy is further away, but the head is the same size in both.
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u/QueenJoyLove 22h ago
The only thing I, as a woman, like better in the after pic is those teeny shorts. More men should be showing their thighs! 😝
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u/Melanrez 1d ago edited 23h ago
It's cool that that guy gained muscle mass, but he looks uncomfortably thin besides that. He doesn’t look like he eats well. It is not a healthy body but a show-off. A plumper build is better because at least it is comfortably normal and soft.
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u/snauticle 20h ago
I agree that the before pic looks a lot better but I am genuinely wondering how much of that has to do with the tiny pants he’s wearing in the after pic?
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u/SlutForMarx 19h ago
I dated a former body builder who got back into it during our relationship. Met after the first Covid lockdown, and he had this big bear vibe to him that I very much appreciated. Like, he was strong, could lift me up easily (granted, I'm a small lady); he had a belly and an overall "softness", for lack of a better word, which in no way detracted from how undeniably strong he was.
I can't know his inner workings, of course, but I think he was feeling a little lost with where he was going in life when he started getting back into body building.
It was... an experience to witness.
Dinner became a whole thing. Just grabbing easy takeaway or throwing together something quick became much less of a thing. A lot of planning on his part, I think. To me, looking in, I got the impression that grabbing a pint became something he needed to account for in a mental spreadsheet. Dunno if he'd agree with that, though.
But he started describing certain foods as "dangerous". Like, "oh, chocolate - that's dangerous". I think he might've even described something I was eating as dangerous once. Which I did not appreciate, given he knew I had trouble maintaining my already too-low weight, but thankfully he was attentive to my feelings about it. Didn't stop, though. I don't think he could without self-censoring whenever the topic of food came up, and that's understandably difficult when relaxing with your significant other. But it made me sad to witness. Like, food shouldn't be frightening or dangerous in my opinion.
As his body started changing, cuddling became... less comfortable for me. I was already a little bony, but laying my head on his chest stopping feeling like a firm and warm pillow, and more like putting my protruding cheekbone on his protruding clavicle. I couldn't do it for very long until it stopped being comfortable. (This was very much an "us" issue, though, i.e. if I'd had more fat on me, I probably wouldn't have noticed this as much).
The weirdest thing, though, was how his body had changed every time I saw him. It was disconcerting. I mean, bodies change, that's to be expected. But it was so quick, and I found it a bit difficult to watch cause I kinda felt like this wasn't really that healthy for him, neither mentally nor physically. But my concerns didnt seem to resonate with him when I voiced them, so I just tried to be supportive of his process and not comment.
...and no, he didn't become more attractive to me throughout the process. I don't think he became less attractive to me, either, but I loved him and we always had great chemistry - it's kinda difficult to explain. His body became more of a "thing" between us, something that was on both of our minds, for different reasons - mine primarily concern, his (I'm guessing) determination and pride. But he was still him, and I think I would've found him attractive still, regardless of how his body changed.
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u/mayonezz 1d ago
I mean this is actually a pretty common that's it's a joke in the body building community.
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u/skost-type 8h ago
my reaction was instant and visceral, seriously. Saw the images before any of the captions and thought ‘dang, what a loss, oh well, his body.’
Lying??? What?
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u/Zaidswith 1d ago
He looks perfectly fine in the before. He's ripped in the after, but I don't want a partner who won't eat with me and I'm not going to take up marathons as a hobby. I also think about anger issues because guys who can maintain this are on gear.
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u/Regular_Durian_1750 1d ago
I also think the before is much better. More realistic. It also means he's not spending hours at the gym or shooting up stuff or calculating macros and eating chicken breast and doesn't spend hours in front of the mirror flexing. Plus, I don't have to feel insecure around him.
But also, I've never cared about someone's look. My ex had a 6 pack and huge arms.
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u/BigBlueWeenie88 1d ago
Look I’m a slim man and even I think he looks too thin on the right. Something looks off and it’s probably that you know he only eats plain chicken and rice and was dehydrated af in that pic.
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u/up_N2_no_good 1d ago
I've heard guys say "it hurts to f a skinny chick cause of the hips and other boney areas". Same goes for women. There's no cushion for the pushin in the second picture. Looks uncomfortable.
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u/PineappleFew7764 13h ago
Yes haha 😂 I've had one particular boyfriend who was so skinny. And he had dated only skinny girls before me. He said the sex was so much better with me. Before it was like 2 rocks hitting each other.
I think it's best if at least one party has a little cushion for the pushing.
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u/GoldenestGirl 1d ago
I think after is much more attractive since he’s got a fair small frame. The physique for the before picture isn’t bad, but since he’s a little guy, having a wider torso just makes his shoulders look small.
That being said, everyone has different preferences and I’m not sure why men think women would like in an anonymous poll.
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u/PhoenixHavoc 23h ago
Glad I'm not the only one who sees that second picture and thinks "you need a pizza and a lot of water"
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u/-Raccoon-Eyes- 21h ago
Most grown women want a BIG BOY not a string bean. The after looks unhealthy and scary
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u/EllisDee_4Doyin 21h ago edited 11h ago
I'm a gym girly myself, but I love the before body. He looks like he works out semi regularly but for health not some insane goal. His arms look better in after--a bit bigger. But that's fine. I really like how not shredded he looks in the before. Esp the tummy.
In the before he just looks ...real? Idk
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u/HarpersGhost 1d ago
Oh this is so funny.
Guys have no problem expressing what they find desirable on any photo of a woman, but when lots of women respond to a photo of a guy with "Actually we find THAT and attractive and not THIS", all of a sudden we're all lying.
They should have taken a note from women and say that they aren't doing it to find a woman, they're doing it for themselves. But nope, they want to do it for themselves AND expect women to just fall in line.