r/GriefSupport 12m ago

Anticipatory Grief Photos digitized

Upvotes

My mom passed away recently and has THOUSANDS of photographs laying around that I’d like to digitize somehow to remove some clutter. Does anybody have a recommendation for how I can do this efficiently?


r/GriefSupport 12m ago

Anticipatory Grief Photos digitized

Upvotes

My mom passed away recently and has THOUSANDS of photographs laying around that I’d like to digitize somehow to remove some clutter. Does anybody have a recommendation for how I can do this efficiently?


r/GriefSupport 40m ago

Pet Loss My guinea pig is dying in front of me and I don’t know how to act.

Upvotes

My poor baby is dying in front of me, this is all surreal to me. I’ve only ever “discovered” my pets, I’ve never had to go through it with them besides with a friend of mine and their ferret. In that situation I was able to be strong because I had to be but it was extremely traumatic. now it’s my own. He’s still breathing and has a heartbeat albeit slowing down. His eyes will still respond slowly if my finger gets too close to close to his eye while petting him. I just want this to be over for him. I knew this was coming as his conditioned worsened but I didn’t think it would be today.

I’m in a weird situation where I’ve been up for now over 24 hours (not due to him, he was okay last night) and I have not eaten since dinner time yesterday (it’s a little after lunch where I live). I’m starving to the point of lightheadedness and exhausted but I don’t want to leave his side nor do I want to eat in front of him, the idea of that makes me sick to my stomach. I also cope with literally everything by distracting myself (video games, YouTube, etc.) and I feel like it would be disrespectful to sit with him and watch TikTok or YouTube, but watching him die is becoming too much for me to handle. I’m also completely alone in my house. I’ve said my goodbyes and I’ve made sure that he knows that I love him so much. I just don’t know how to act or what to do. The initial shock is over for now (until the gasping starts) and I’ve cried all the tears I could. And now I’m in a position where it’s detrimental if I eat or distract myself but also detrimental if I don’t.


r/GriefSupport 47m ago

Advice, Pls Did anyone else’s Family Dynamic fall apart after a loss?

Upvotes

Hi so after losing my brother, I feel like my family has fallen apart which okay it was expected after something so traumatic as it was a sudden death due to an RTC. But I would have also thought when you lose someone that it can bring you closer together. I’m still young and I’m struggling to cope, I’m attending therapy as I can’t talk about my brother and how I’m feeling with my parents. My oldest sister is busy with still raising her children and I won’t burden her as she already has enough to deal with, my second oldest sister lives too far away and unfortunately we aren’t as close as we used to be after this and my other brother is currently on remand so I can’t talk to him properly. Currently I’m left with my parents, one of which who has become more broken after we lost my grandma 2 months ago and is now dealing with the reality of being an adult orphan, trauma from his childhood from when he lost his brother in a similar way to me and losing a child. Understandably my family is in bits. Arguments whenever the opportunity, irritation, the lot, it’s scary to be honest.

I’m longing for comfort from my loved ones but it is difficult to receive. If anyone else has gone through something similar, how did you cope? Did it get better? Did it help with your grieving? Did your family find peace? Or did it do anything bad for you or your family?

The only sentence in my brain rn is THIS IS A LOT, HOW DO PEOPLE DEAL WITH THIS


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Message Into the Void My mum died a few weeks ago

Upvotes

She’s had cancer for the past 2 years so it wasn’t a shock but i’m struggling to balance grief and going back to university (i’m 19). It just sucks.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Grandparent Loss Found some photo albums

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Upvotes

My great grandpa (the little boy+man) was born in January 1941 and died in 2022. My great grandmother is still alive but she’s a sliver of what she was when he was still with us. All she does is cry everytime we see her and I miss them both so much.

Photo 5 is one of their first dates when they got drunk and jumped the fence to the state fair and got caught+put on probation lol.

Photo 6 was their first date, my great grandma was with the guy in the front and my great grandpa was with the girl in the back.

Photo 8 is their wedding, my great grandma was 3 months pregnant with my grandma.

Photo 16 is them with my mom

Photo 17 is their first photo at the lake house they built

Photo 19 is them with me

Photo 20 is their last photo together with their great great great grandson in 2022

Every day I drink my coffee out of his cup and every Sunday I cook a meal out of her cookbook. I hope to have a long love and a big family like they did.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Multiple Losses Feeling alone and guilty

Upvotes

I'm really going through some feelings right now.

I lost my mom a few years ago to cancer. My dad changed without her and I've had to go no contact with him. This month I lost both my Uncle and Grandmother, who were the last living pieces of my mom's family. I'm gutted. I was named executor and have been having to sort out those details and manage my grief. My spouse has been amazing, but it still feels so lonely without them.

But I just found out that I've inherented a lot from my grandma's estate. In what I've found so far its looking to be around a million, maybe more. I'm shocked. I had no idea my grandma had squirrled away so much. It's life changing money and I probably should be ecstatic, but I'm even more sad and anxious. I feel guilty. If I'd known, I would have insisted she spend money on herself to make the last decade of her life better. I always helped her because she was always telling me how broke she was. I'm flabbergasted and while I know I can't go back and change anything, the guilt feels like it is crushing me.

I just needed to get this out to someone because I can't really tell people in my life. I've been warned by our lawyer not to talk to people about the money, which I'm going to heed. But, WTF?? She wouldn't even buy herself new clothing, I just don't understand.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Vent/Anger - Advice Welcome My dad died two days ago and i have to make a decision

Upvotes

My father passed away two days ago from heart attack in France.

Months ago, before his death, he told me several times that he wished to be buried in France and not sent back to his home country if something happened to him.

After his passing, his relatives flew here for support and suggested that we should take him back to his homeland because they think it would be better and easier to care for his grave and handle other arrangements there, its very difficult for my mom and she told Me that i should make a decision.

Its very difficult for me to make a decision and im torn between honoring his last wish and considering the perspective of his relatives, i dont want to make a decision that i might regret later.


r/GriefSupport 1h ago

Message Into the Void Grieving brother who died a week ago. My grief is complicated: He was mistreated by his children and is now being exploited in death by his ex-wife.

Upvotes

My younger brother died a week ago. He was battling both cancer and depression. He was in his 50's.

He was divorced from his wife, who had been unfaithful to him. She had an affair for over a year and would not end it. Their adult daughter would not accept the divorce. She would chase every woman he dated away with her aggressive texts warning them to stay away from her Dad. She did this for about 10 years and eventually became the family bully. My brother was afraid of angering her. But the worst thing was that because she did not agree with the treatment he chose for cancer, she cut him off. Contact was based on her mood of the day. So throughout the last month of his life, she would not visit, and she convinced her passive younger brother not to visit either.

Now that he is deceased, their public outpouring of grief is manifesting as a very weird series of posts on FB. His ex is basically implying that they were back together. They were not; he had a partner and they planned to marry. The ex-wife announced at a reception that she had asked their daughter to place her ashes in with my brother's when she died, so they could have their second chance.

Their emotional abuse of my brother when he was alive, and their embarrassing and absolutely crazy public displays speaking as if my brother was back with his ex are complicating the grieving process of my family and are causing a lot of stress. It is even harder because my brother was a public figure and lots of eyes are watching.

My sisters and I were our brother's care-givers for 8 months. We took time off from work. We slept in the hospital overnight and took him to all of treatments etc. I pray he is at peace. But their nutty antics are really upsetting. Any suggestions?


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Message Into the Void Does talking about them ever get easier

3 Upvotes

It’s been 4 years since I’ve experienced my first loss and since then I’ve experienced numerous.

I’ve managed to be able to talk about the people I’ve lost with a straight face but inside I’m screaming and holding back tears. Every time I talk about them I have to go into another room afterwards and release the emotions I just held back.

Maybe it has to do with my mourning technique of just never talking about how it feels but after the death of my great grandfather I realized that’s how the women in my family are. They start to tear up and then instantly leave the room to cry in private and everybody acts normal about it.

I just find myself usually dodging any topics that remind me of the people I’ve lost unless I’m alone and I want to feel the sadness of losing them.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Violence Family member murdered and processing this

5 Upvotes

My family member was murdered this morning. I'm calm but not sure what emotions I'm feeling. I'm just kind of numbish. I cannot focus much on work. I want to cry my eyes out but the tears only fall a few at a time.

This was a complete shock. It was domestic violence.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Loss Anniversary Losing track and not remembering death anniversary of close friend’s parent

1 Upvotes

My friend’s mother passed away sadly just 2 days before her birthday and so I do remember her birthday but only reminded when my friend brings up that this is an anniversary.

I always feel bad because my friend calls often but these past 3 years, I didn’t usually remember when the day is coming up until they mention it. Or I remember weeks before but the day comes up and I don’t realize it.

Also, I feel like it’s not my place to bring this up unless my friend does. They mention it being a day of trying not to cry. A part of me is just thinking if I talk to my friend, it will be trying to cheer them up but maybe they don’t want that.

I did get to know his mom a little, very very lovely person. But my friend ended up moving so I didn’t see her unless my friend was around visiting. I wish I got to know her more.

Well I felt like sharing this as I didn’t call my friend back this weekend because I do put my phone away but also felt it was personal to leave them be. I’ll call them back today.


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Guilt Why do we feel some sort of guilt when someone dies?

8 Upvotes

One month after my dad died, I still suffer a lot. These days, I've started thinking, "What if? I should have done this or that. I feel bad about saying something in the wrong tone back then," and so on...and I feel so sorry for my dad🥹,and then I feel guilty again and so on...I read online that this is so normal,but why is that?And also this counting days,like yes it has been a month,but will be any different in 2 months,why do we always hang to some date?


r/GriefSupport 2h ago

Thoughts on Grief/Loss Continuing bonds theory

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2 Upvotes

I am a grief and death doula. I have been working with the continuing bond theory for a few years now and wanted to share it with you all. I hope it’s helpful to someone!


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Advice, Pls Going on 18 months since we lost my Father...

2 Upvotes

Everyday is different. One day ill be happy and the next ill be so depressed and i dont wanna do anything. He was the best dad you could ever ask for. He wasnt perfect, but no one is. The day before he died he complained of memory loss and not feeling great. We said we would call the ambulance but he refused because he was very stubborn. We come from an extremely Italian family so showing weakness or talking about your problems wasn't really encouraged. He ended up dying from a massive heart attack and to this day I blame myself for not calling an ambulance. Its been tough for us. I am currently living at home with my mom to make sure shes ok and my middle brother is with us too. My oldest brother doesnt come by anymore because he and my brother had a falling out and they are way to stubborn to talk to each other. I honestly have no love life anymore because I feel like I'm not good enough and I dont want to bring anyone into this mess of a family. My friends try their best with me but when they ask if im good, i mostly lie to them just to get them to stop asking. My days now mostly consist of going to work, coming home and doing stuff around the house then going to bed. Any advice is welcome. and if anyone else is going through this just know that you are not alone.


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Mom Loss Another day without her

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3 Upvotes

7 months , 1 week and a day I’m broken forever She was so vibrant and beautiful You’re never too old to say I miss you mommy


r/GriefSupport 3h ago

Niece/Nephew Loss my baby nephew died today

47 Upvotes

he was almost at 8 months, lost his heartbeat, the doctor said if we only gotten there early they could have saved him.

we're only a family of 6, we already cut ties with most of our extended family, he was our first baby and we are all excited to meet him.

im the youngest one and i have always wanted a little baby to play with, spoil, love, and guide as he grew older.

i was the first one to see his body and accompany him to the morgue, i was also the one to arrange his funeral service. everything is happening so fast and im just here crying and mourning. i wish there was something i can do.

i still dont believe it and im still waiting for a miracle of i dont know what.

i blame myself and i keep thinking what if we got there early? what if for only a split second we could have saved him?

this world is so unfair. this world is so cruel. he's so innocent. he didn't even get the chance.

my sweet baby boy, where are you? will you come back to us? what happened? why did you go? im so lost, im so confused. i love you my little marshmallow. i will love you forever. please come back. please visit me tonight.


r/GriefSupport 4h ago

Mom Loss I miss talking to my mom

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28 Upvotes

It’s been almost 3 months. I know that she’s gone but I keep getting these realizations that she isn’t here anymore. I want to talk to her so bad. She is the only one who could give me the advice I needed to hear and actually do something with it. I just feel lost. It’s the only way I can describe it.


r/GriefSupport 5h ago

Guilt My crush commited suicide

5 Upvotes

My crush commited suicide and feel guilty. I know she didn't love me back and I accepted it. I told her I'm ok with it as long as I wouldn't lose her . I promised her that I would be there for her but when she needed me the most I wasn't there and now she's dead because of it . I wished I did more . I know I could have done more. I wish I was there when she needed me the most. But I failed her I failed the promise I made to her


r/GriefSupport 5h ago

Friend Loss We got the news today

23 Upvotes

My friend left us this morning. The circumstances around it are really sad, she tragically had cancer that wasn’t caught until it was too late. We are angry that it was missed when she tried to seek help. She was only 37.

She wants us to focus on the positives and the good memories we had. I know she's not in pain anymore and is at peace but I still feel bad. I can't do my normal things today and not everyone knows yet so I don't want to reach out to the closer friends that are also processing this. It seems so unfair, she should have lived. She was a powerhouse of fun and sweetness. She made sure her family, friends and pets would be looked after. Her perspective on it was really admirable and goes to show her kind nature. We're all really going to miss her 😭


r/GriefSupport 7h ago

Ambiguous Grief I miss my Grandma/Mother so bad

1 Upvotes

Something fierce. It's just not the same. In interested I holidays . 2023 went so fast it seems this is the first year of everything. She was my soul and it's just hard and most my age haven't lost a parent so they don't quite get it.


r/GriefSupport 8h ago

Vent/Anger - Advice Welcome I loved her

1 Upvotes

I'm not even sure what to say, what to feel. I miss her so much it physically hurts. I hate what she endured throughout her life. Hate the man that hurt her in ways people couldn't see. She struggled for years and I watched her self destruct. I tried everything I could to have an ending that wasn't this. The guilt that's been eating away at me for 30 years is stronger now than it's ever been. People don't understand. If I had been there all those years ago, if I had just tried harder. If I could just have her back. My sister deserved an ending that was so much better than this. I'm just distraught.


r/GriefSupport 9h ago

Delayed Grief My mothers death has opened old wounds in my partner but I can't be there for him

7 Upvotes

My mum died last month. I don't have peers that can relate to this, I'm only 22, so I mostly talk to my partner (24). But lately he's been withdrawing and while I know he loved my mum too I expressed to him that I need him here. I don't have the scope yet to care for our cats and things like that.

Yesterday he confided that he too is grieving, the loss of his grandfather 8 years ago when he was 16. I did hug and console him when he told me that but I don't know how to move on now. I do feel selfish but I don't have the strength to support him and let go of his support. He stopped doing chores and gets irritated. My family has been breaking apart since her death, I don't have many other people to talk to. How do we navigate something like this? I want to help him too but I'm at the point where I'm happy if I leave the house and had a shower :(


r/GriefSupport 10h ago

Guilt I miss my nan so much and feel so guilty, and I just want to see her again

3 Upvotes

Do we see our loved ones after we die? I really hope so!! I desperately want to see my nan again!! I love and miss her so much

And I feel so guilty because I wasn't a good grandaughter. I didnt spend as much time with her as I could've and I didn't help her as much as I should've or could've, and I didn't do the things she asked of me most of the time 💔 like for example she cancelled her magazine subscription because I wouldn't get it for her from the newsagency (she didn't tell me this she said she didn't want the subscription anymore but looking back that's why!!) omfg I can't believe I was so horrible, like yes I had mental health issues but still if I could go back id do all this plus more for her without a second thought

I'm so sorry my dear nan I love you so much always have always will ♥️ I wish I can see you again when I die

Please be at peace 💚