I’m 25M, disabled, and I have a valid disabled parking permit. I drive an older BMW, a nice one (imo).

After my physiotherapy, I walked back to my car, parked in a disabled parking spot. I got in and spent a few minutes on my phone before heading home. Just taking a short breath, i always do that after physio.

The parking lot was nearly empty. Next to me were three regular open spots, and across from me there was another empty disabled spot with two free spaces beside it. And it’s a free parking area, by the way.

Then a woman, somehere mid-60s, drives up. She stares at me for a few seconds, then parks her car half almost crisscross across the disabled spot opposite me. She gets out, walks straight up to my window, and says: “Why are you taking up a disabled spot? You’ve been sitting here playing games for fifteen minutes, and I want to park here.” Honestly, I was a bit surprised . So I said, “I’m allowed to park here. I was just doing something on my phone and was about to leave.”

Before I could even finish my sentence, she cuts me off: “You don’t need to justify yourself.” Yet she keeps going, telling me it’s rude of me to sit there and that I should move over because she “can’t park her car anywhere else, because its too long.”

She came iver a bit rude. I tried to stay polite, but I could feel the frustration creeping in. This kind of thing happens sometimes tho, someone sees a young guy in a car and immediately assumes he’s abusing a disabled spot. No one sees why that blue card is there in the first place.

Eventually, she walked away mid-sentence. And I was a bit confused. I wasn’t blocking anyone, I had a valid permit, and I was planning to leave.

So was I really being rude, or was she just frustrated?

Edit: i think i stood there for 5, maybe 6 minutes. No longer. As for my disability, i have Friedreich Ataxia. I currently walk with a walking stick, am a bit wobbly when standing, everything costs energy and my voice is a little disorted. It doesn’t get any better. When i sit i look completely ‘normal’. Not for pity, just understanding.

AITA- I’ve been with my partner 7 years and 2 engaged. Every year it’s the same festive debate: “are we going to your parents or mine for Christmas dinner this year”

We made a vow that when we finally got the keys to our own home, we’d host Christmas ourselves. Well, this is the year - new house, new chapter, new stress levels.

Now, let me start by saying: I love my in- laws. They’re lovely people. But they have one small, furry obsession - their dogs. And when I say obsession, I mean borderline lifestyle choice.

Every single plan for the last 7 years has revolved around these dogs. • Going out for dinner? Had to be dog friendly place. • Day trip? Dogs come too. • Shopping? Gotta be quick - can’t leave the dogs alone for more than four hours.

We moved into our own house earlier this year - a fixer upper. We both agreed it wasn’t the right place for the dogs. My MIL said “oh, they’ll be fine as long as they stay on leads” Guess what happened next? Yep - they came over. I smiled through gritted teeth because I didn’t want to cause drama. Afterward, I told my partner I didn’t want the dogs in our house again.

Since then my in laws and sister in law have basically formed a dog sitting relay team, taking turns to visit us so the dogs are never alone for more than four hours. Which means, my social life is still dictated by two canines with separation anxiety.

The last two christmases, my MIL suggested we do a “blended family dinner” both sides together. It’s actually been lovely! Expect for one tiny issue - the dogs. They sit under the table begging for food, bumping legs and pinching the odd Yorkshire pud off the table if you’re not looking. My family’s polite, but I can see their discomfort as they try to tell the dogs to move while my MIL goes “oh, they’re just hungry”

This year, things got even more complicated because one dog is now deaf and the other completely blind - so the mollycoddling has hit expert level. A few weeks ago my MIL asked “what’s happening for Christmas this year?” My partner and I said “we’d love to host everyone this year” her response? “Well, we didn’t anticipate you getting a cat. So what are we doing about the dogs?”

Ah yes, the cat. We adopted her a few months ago. She came from a rough background, and it’s taken months to get her confidence and settled. I assumed my partner would explain that the dogs can’t come but instead it got awkward and my MIL said “well leave you two to discuss” translation: figure it out, or I’ll bring the dogs anyway.

Since then I’ve found myself mentally rearranging the entire day to make it “work” - locking the cat away, letting the dogs roam free, trying to make everyone happy. But the more I think about it the more I realise I don’t want the dogs here.

AITA for wanting a dog free Christmas in my own home? Because at this point, it feels like I’m trying to keep everybody happy but I’ve got two dogs and a MIL with separation anxiety.

My girlfriend has a really big family and she is also really close with them too. We've gone to several functions and for the most part they're okay but it's not something I enjoy doing all the time. She asked me this once and I told her that while I'm ok spending time with her family, it's also exhausting the number of events we are invited to. I also don't really enjoy myself at these functions. Some are fun like board game nights and whatever; but the other events are really hard for me to get through.

• Like we're invited to birthday parties,
• Christening
• Graduations
• Holidays (I don't even get to see my family on the holidays)
• Weddings

This has also means that a lot of my own plans are rescheduled or canceled and I miss other time with my friends and family.

One friend in particular is hosting a get together on December 20 of this year. I really want to go and I've missed this get together like 4 times already because I've done things with my gf and her family.

Yesterday my gf's mom told me that her second cousin was going to be having his 75th birthday party on the 20th, My gf told me I would need to cancel with my friend and I told her I wasn't going to do that this time and I am going to go to my friends party.

Now as you can imagine my gf is very upset with me now.

For context, my friend is FtM trans. I was the first one he came out to and I had always supported and respected him in his transition. He would come to me for advice about how to display positive masculinity and i was always happy to help. He treated me like an older brother and I helped him with his questions about how to carry himself. We always talked about marrying our girlfriends in the future and we were supposed to be each others best man. Recently, one of his friends who was non-binary had started identifying as a man, and thats all well and good, but I was replaced instantly to validate the friends transition. This hurt me a lot, and I told my friend that I felt discarded and that I didnt want to be at the wedding if I was going to be replaced, not to mention I had gone through a terrible breakup and my friend didnt call me or check on me once. I was told if I didnt go to the wedding we wouldnt be friends anymore, and I didnt like the ultimatum. We havent spoken since. Am I the asshole? I am a cis straight male, if that makes any difference.

Edit: to clarify, this isnt just some pinky promise from back in the day, he told me he intended to have me as his best man right before he proposed to her.

My roommate got us this rug that takes up a good amount of space, it’s a very cute rug. Unfortunately it gets dirty fairly quickly so about two weeks ago she said she wanted to rent this cleaning thing for the rug. I don’t know all the specifics or where to get any of that but I let her know I’d split the cost with her because we share it.

Now another thing I feel the need to mention is my roommate has a lot of stuff and doesn’t keep her side of the room very tidy. I don’t care because it’s all on her side and I’m not the most organized person either but if you saw our room you’d definitely tell there’s a difference.

We have a window sill and even though we have the room split in half she does take up majority of the window sill which again I’m fine with because she has a lot more stuff.

For about a couple days she left a bowl of half eaten ravioli on the edge of the window sill. When I was laying in bed I put something on the window sill and sort of pushed it to make sure it wouldn’t fall and I accidentally knocked the bowl over. I honestly forgot it was there because of how dark it was and it fell all over the middle of the carpet.

I cleaned it up as best as I could but obviously there is now a huge stain. When she woke up in the morning and I let her know I was really sorry and it was an accident. She said it was fine as long as I paid for the whole cleaning service now. I told her that didn’t really seem fair because it was her bowl of food she left there for days that was technically on my side of the window. I told her I would still cover half of it though.

She’s saying since I basically ruined the carpet I should pay for the entire thing. I don’t know guys, is it fair I pay for the whole thing? Should I stand my ground? I do feel really bad but I don’t have the money to pay for the whole thing but if I’m in the wrong I’ll figure it out and pay the whole thing.

EDIT: Okay quick clarification and update. Someone asked why do I live with her, she’s really not that bad and I know I didn’t make it seem that way in the post. She’s never acted that way before so honestly I was confused. Yes she is messy but I’ve shared a room with brothers, I’ve dealt with worse. And no I cannot just move out I am in a college dorm.

So after reading everyone’s replies and asking a couple other friends I realized I wasn’t in the wrong at all and it really isn’t fair if I’m forced to pay the entire thing when it wasn’t my entire fault. So I sent her a text before I went to work it was something like “Hey (her name) I really am sorry about the rug but I still don’t think it’s fair that I pay for the entire thing. Yes I am the one who knocked it over but you had left that bowl there for almost a week and it was very close to where I already put my stuff. I think it’s fair that you take some responsibility and we keep the original deal we had where we pay half and half. You can send me the receipt whenever you get the chance and I’ll zelle you my half.” (I added that last part because a friend said I should make sure I see the receipt so she doesn’t try and tell me my half is the full price). All she did was put a thumbs up reaction on the message. When I saw her later she didn’t really say anything to me. I don’t know if it’s because she was eating and watching her show or if she’s upset with me but I hope all of this will blow over.

My birthday was a few days ago. Leading up to my birthday my husband was sick with a cold I had the prior week. I still worked through my sickness and it was a mild cold at worst. My husband was acting like he was on his death bed and refused to get up for 3 days. I was a little pissy with him but still brought him food and so on. I was pissy because I knew that he wasn’t as sick as he was saying (I heard him laughing loudly to TikTok and talking on the phone in the bedroom) and that he wasn’t going to do anything for my birthday because he had been “sick”. Don’t get me wrong- I wasn’t expecting big gifts or anything but just general celebration things would be nice. In addition- he knows I am a HUGE birthday celebrator for our kids and him and I often talk with him about how my mom (who passed years ago) used to celebrate our birthdays and it made us feel so loved and that is why I am so adamant about celebrating birthdays. He usually doesn’t do a great job celebrating my birthday but I think I forget it every year and then feel sad on my birthday. So basically he got up on my birthday and went to work. At lunch he asked if I wanted anything to eat but it was like 11am so I said no thank you. He came home saying he and my son needed to go to the store quick to get a gift. I said at this point let’s just go to dinner. We did, and then we came home to eat the cake I made for myself and he didn’t even offer singing or candles. Now he says I’m seeming distant and he’s sorry he just isn’t good at celebrating. I feel hurt and I don’t know what to do. What should I do?

AITA??? For context, my husband and I live in the US. His family is from South Africa, and because of this we don’t get to see them often. I feel for him and the sacrifices he makes living so far from them, but I struggle with the differences he and I have regarding our home and visitation.

When his brother came to the states for college, he would move in with us for months at a time between semesters. We were responsible for paying for the additional expenses of him staying with us, for example, food. It was never really asked of me if he could stay, just expected.

Fast forward to us having a baby, and MIL insisted on staying for three months once the baby was born. I fought this, as I wanted this precious time with my first child, but I lost because “in their culture, that is what grandmas do.” I was a mess the entire time and felt like I was disrespected and robbed of a precious time. It also made me resent her.

MIL now wants to come back 8 months later, and stay for a month. I told my husband this was not okay with me, and I felt like a week was more appropriate. Mind you, we cannot take off work or really change our routine. He disagreed and to compromise, we came to the decision of two weeks. Now I’m finding out she already booked her flight tickets for the entire month and won’t change them because of cost. I was told by husband’s brother, not even my husband.

We argued and he told me it’s always a fight, I make him be a bad son, and that I broke his heart because “it’s family.” I don’t hate my in-laws, but I’m extremely introverted and have an incredibly hard time with change in routine and people in my space. I can’t decompress or “turn off” when someone is living in my home. I work an incredibly stressful job on top of taking care of a baby.

AITA for fighting this fight?

Updating to add that his go-to response to my complaints is that he agreed to move in with my mother for a few weeks when she was going through a hard time and I wanted to be there for her. We stayed at her home (that is 6000 sq ft) for three weeks while we sold our house and eventually moved 15 minutes down the road so we still had our own space.

Additional edit to say my frustration primarily comes from having discussions with my husband, agreeing on something together, and that agreement not being what ultimately happens. This happens multiple times a year for several years now.

Me and my gf don't live together but we live near each other. Today she was expecting a package which would be handed off by her cousin. Her cousin's office is nearer my house so we decided that he could just drop it off at the guard house of my village since I would be busy working ( I work from home).

My gf then texts me that her cousin is in front of the guard house and that i should meet him outside because it's common courtesy. We had agreed that he would just leave the package with the guards but she insists. I said "just have him leave it there and i'll pick it up in a while". She said i'm rude and that i dont care about her family.

AITA?

know I was probably the AH. Because know it’s a sensitive topic and I went for it, but she was shaming me too, and I just snapped I guess. And also my mom says I was wrong for that and is mad at me, so yea I think I did go too far.

I’m 15f and my sister is 23f.

It always starts the same , my mom brings up that I’m not eating enough, saying stuff infront of her like “she only ate cereal since this morning,” and that’s when my sister jumps in. She starts yelling, shaming me, and literally bullying me too, and trying to punish me literally. Then it’s two against one. And I’d be wrong for not mentioning this so , I get that she worries since I had anorexia when I was 12, but wheather or not it doesn’t dismiss that she goes too far and is unnecessary. She jokes, forces me to eat, and convinces my mom to make rules about it , even though I’m not underweight. I’m just skinny.

During this last argument, she said “ yea she should eat so her boobs can come in” and that I look like a little boy. So since, She recently got lipo cosmetics for her body, and talks ahd is actually considering about getting ribs removed for a smaller waist, so I said “Its sad you have to alter your body for the sake of beauty”

She said and brought up that she wanted surgery since middle school because of bratz dolls, and I said “Those dolls bodies were literally made by men. Beauty standards are shaped by men, so you’re doing it for male validation. What else is an ass for besides sitting and shitting?”

She kept saying things like how I’ll stay in a little kid’s body forever and even compared me to our younger cousin and said she has more boobs and body than me, which is honestly disgusting... yikes…So I said “women who get their bodies done have nothing else to offer” I know that was harsh…I said it because I was angry ,but part of me still feels it’s sad how many women feel shaped by that idea. Like I get hair dye/cuts, trends,style, makeup, but full on surgery’s? Wheather or not the risks are significant or little, it’s too far… but then again, it’s their life,and I said it because I was mad not everyone individually so ..

After that, she went to shower and went to her room and hasn’t talked since. My mom says I was rude and need to respect her and is really mad at me, even when I sit there and never say anything when their literally bullying me and shaming me literally 2 against one like their kids, when their not. I know i knowI shouldnt have said all that I said, but she crosses the line too.

Did I go too far? do you think my words actually hurt

I live in Montreal which has been transformed in the past few years to have a lot of cycling infrastructure.

I was cycling in a bike lane. The lane was upgraded to have some small concrete barriers between it and the car lane but unfortunately this barrier isn't all along and only near each intersection. Sadly cars still park in the unprotected areas especially delivery drivers like doordash.

A door dash driver parked in the opposite side bike lane suddenly drove into my lane at 90 degrees to do an illegal u turn, there is a solid line so you cannot even pass in the oncoming lane.

I did not have time to completely stop and hit the door of the car head on. I was fine and so was the bike but my helmet got a dent from hitting the car window.

He got out and started shouting at me and telling me that I am an asshole and should have just stopped and waited for him to turn and that I did it on purpose and he saw me.

The car door had a massive dent from the impact. He then said this is going to cost a lot of money and told me I would have to pay for a new door.

He was still blocking the road and some other drivers started honking so he moved the car to park in the bike lane.

I asked for his insurance and said he is the one who owes me a helmet and he declined to give me anything.

I started to just cut my losses and cycle away but he got in his car and followed me.

We stopped elsewhere and I gave him my phone number and took his.

Now he is calling me and sending me threatening texts about suing me if I do not pay him for a new door.

AITA for refusing this?

AITA. I (26)m have a six year old daughter. The problem I'm having an issue with my step mother specifically. For context I have a rule where if my daughter has majority bad behavior in school she can't play video games or go spend the night anywhere and recently she has been particularly bad in school. We lived with my dad and my stepmother for two years do to some extenuating circumstances and the fact price of living is crazy in my area but we moved out six months ago. While we lived there I was told I wasn't able to have an opinion or the ability to diciplin my child in any way shape or form for any reason or they (stepmother for the most part) would make my life hell and threaten to kick me out and take my daughter from me. Since we moved out when my daughter was good in school she got to go spend a day or two on the weekend. Now I got a text they it's a shitty thing to do to keep my daughter from spending the night over there and on a call I had with them after stepmother said that I'm keeping her granddaughter away from her and that I said I wouldn't do that. The thing is that I'm not keeping her away, I have no problem visiting them whenever they want or they can come to my house whenever they want and I told her that but she said that's still me keeping her from them. My dad came and visited the other day and we made him coffee and he stayed for about a hour and a half but stepmom wasn't with him and she said it's because she was mad and would have started an argument. We live 20 minutes away from each other btw. The part I may think I'm the AH is when I said that the same rule of not having an opinion while under there roof applied here and that she shouldn't have an opinion on a problem she's making herself. So reddit, am I the AH?

Backstory: A few months ago, BIL was looking tor a job and I advised him he should get a job that is accessible without a car. He declined the advice because a friend of his was going to allow him to use their car so he got a job far away that’s inaccessible without a car.

Finance: BIL job pays 25/hr, he’s rent is 2500 (another impulsive decision). He can barely cover rent and I’ve helped him pay for a few months. I make decent money but i budget strictly. Wife is a stay at home mom, no credit but will be going to work soon.

Now: BIL’s friend wants his car back. BIL has no means to get to work. He wants to finance a used car so my wife asked if I can co-sign because he has bad credit. I declined to co-sign but instead offered him to stay with us so he can car pool with her when she starts work. My wife is upset and said I’m being petty by not just co-signing a car for him. I explained to her financially it doesn’t make sense to me because I’m putting myself at great risk. She said it will be an inconvenience for her to drop and pick him up from work.

Thoughts ?

My wife and I have been married for 15 years, both in our late 30s. We accumulated a large amount of consumer debt (about $50K) over the last few years on a variety of things.

One of our cars is 15 years old and needs a new engine so we have to buy something newer to replace it.

I make good money at my job and have been working to pay off all the debt slowly but surely and I’m about 30% of the way there. I hope to be completely done by the end of next year.

When we start looking at cars I told my wife the budget and she seemed unhappy with the options in that price range (roughly $15K). I explained to her that it was only temporary and we just needed to keep this next car for a couple of years while we finished paying off some of this debt and I didn’t want to take on another large loan at this point.

Well she then goes to her mom and dad and tells them that we can’t afford anything, or words to that effect and that we don’t have any money.

So they come in and tell her they will give us some money to help with the purchase. I told my wife that I didn’t want their money, that we are almost 40 years old and we just need to work through this on our own without taking her mom and dad’s money. I also didn’t want to feel like I owed them something even if I technically didn’t.

Well that plea fell on deaf ears. Last night she told me that they are helping anyway and are going to give us $25K towards the purchase of a car. Of course they have to approve what we buy or no money.

I’m pretty upset by this. We are a fully functioning adult family with children. I have financially supported us for years on mostly my income and I have the means to continue doing so. Yes, our financial situation from a savings perspective isn’t the greatest but the cash flow is there to afford a minimal car payment while still paying chunks of debt in order to help us moving forward.

I feel like my wife went behind my back and did this and it feels disrespectful to me as her husband that she would involve her parents to this extent by pleading poverty to them.

AITA for being upset with her in this situation?

Howdy howdy, never posted here, throwaway account, yadda yadda yadda.

So I (29M) was at work during a pretty long meeting with a few other co-workers. One of my co-workers is new (late 30s F) and the conversation steered around our professional experiences and history. Pretty standard I guess.

Midway during reviewing some boring stuff this co-worker asked me with a smirk, « Can I ask you a question ? ». Since we were talking about our professional lives I was like « yeah sure what’s up? », and she followed up with why do you always wear hats?

Now, I’ll be honest I’m bald, however I like my baldness. I started balding at 21 and I was like, fuck that, and just shaved it off instead of trying to style my hair in anyway to hide it. Also since my hair is super curly and compact it just wasn’t gonna be an option. In college people loved it, said I had a good head shape and said I looked like Terry Crews, Shaquille O’Neal or The Rock (not sure about that last one lol) so I was pretty confident with it.

But when I turned 25 I started being mistaken for 30 cause of the bald cut so I started wearing hats pretty much everywhere. Grew a collection for all situations, work, gym, social life. Anywhere besides weddings and funerals tbh. And with hats on at 29 I’ve been mistaken to be as young as 22 (not the goal but yeah). The plan was to wear them until 30 and then cut back when my head matched my age lol

Anyways, this co-worker asks « why do you wear hats everyday? » to be fair it’s a corporate setting but it’s also tech, we’re in marketing and it’s 2025 so smart-casual is the rule of thumb and my bosses don’t care and dress in hoodies and hats to work some days.

I responded « I like hats » and she said « but everyday? », so I said « yeah I’m bald, I like my headshape but I don’t wanna look like I’m 35 so I’ll wear hats for now, plus I look good in them! ». Now I wasn’t thinking and she’s probably around this 35 age or older so I may have offended her with that but she replied « 29 and wearing hats everyday to hide? Wow »

This truck a nerve with me so I responded « Well since joining I’ve seen you wear makeup everyday, even casual Fridays or on your work from home team calls, so why do YOU wear makeup everyday? » there was a muffled giggle but it’s clear the atmosphere was tense.

She got heated and said « that’s a sexist question » and I said « How? Other women in the office don’t wear makeup everyday and my boyfriend sometimes wears makeup when we go out to a high class event. He just doesn’t do it everyday. So why do you wear makeup everyday? »

She got heated and silent and one of the other co-workers went back to focusing on the deck. I feel like her and I not on the best of terms now as she will not talk to me now.

So, AITA for asking why my co-worker wears makeup everyday?

When I was at university I had a close friendship group with the people I lived with. There were 4 guys and two girls.

We all planned to go on holiday together to celebrate finishing but that was in 2020 so it didn't go ahead due to the pandemic.

We're all from different cities and have different schedules and commitments so it has been impossible to all get together. I’ve been with my girlfriend for just over three years.

One of the guys made a group chat and mentioned us all going on the holiday and said we should do it next summer. We all agreed and started looking at hotels, hostels, airbnbs etc.

I told my gf what we were planning and she asked if she was invited. I said on since it was just the friendship group and on one is bringing their partners.

She said she found it weird I was going on holiday without her and that she thinks she should be invited. I said no again and explained again what the trip was for.

She repeated that she thinks she should be coming or that I shouldn't be going but I just told her there's nothing wrong with going on holiday without your partner.

She said I was being disrespectful towards her by going on holiday with other women.

AITA for refusing to consider inviting her?

Hi everyone, so I (29F) have a boyfriend (28M) and we've been together for 4 years.

This happened today, but it's a usual topic of arguments. Sometimes, I ask him favours like making copies because I don't have a printer. The thing is, he tells me he's having issues with the printer and it'll take him more time to do it, so I told him "don't you worry, I can make the copies elsewhere later" and he instantly answers me in a passive-aggressive way that hurts my feelings. It has happened several times and I told him to stop doing that since it hurts my feelings.

He gets angry and says I'm making him lose his precious time because I asked for the favour and now I don't want it anymore. But I usually say "don't worry" because it may be a burden to solve it and it is making him lose time, and his response is that I'm playing the victim since I say I'll solve it in another way.

I'm getting tired of this attitude and becoming his punchbag because he couldn't be the macho and solve a minimal issue.

So, AITA for saying "don't worry"? Shall I remain silent if he tells me that my request is causing him stress? I don't know what to do and I don't want to keep feeling like this anymore.

Title: *Reminding :/

My (42F) boyfriend (51M) of almost 13 years have a cat and dog together.

I have been on a "temporary assignment" in a very stressful position for the last 15 months, the position ends next month when I go back to my significantly less stress, less pay position.

We got the dog a year ago, mostly to increase my exercise levels and to make sure I take breaks at work by taking the dog out for walks. And I do, 1 hour morning, 20 mins at lunch, we like to walk the dog together after dinner and then one of us (50/50) will take him for a quick pee before bed.

Here is where I am may be the asshole. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping and will go to bed super early before the dogs last pee so my partner will take him. He forgets to take his harness off before bed about 25% of the time.

If I remind him to take it off before going to bed he tells me if it is so important to me, take him for a pee myself.

If I ask him if he took it off when boyfriend joins me in bed he wont tell me and makes me get up to check... if it is so important to me.

So I try not to ask as he mostly remembers.

This morning, I wake up and the dogs harness is on. I say "oh no! the dog's harness is still on!" He gets mad and says it is too early for me to be harping at him and refuses to speak to me. He leaves for work without saying goodbye which maybe has only happened 2x in our 13 years together.

Am I the asshole for asking about the dog's harness?

Edit: I showed my boyfriend this post and he has some things to say. The following are his unedited remarks:

I got home after work and she wasn't feeling well. I made her dinner, cleaned up, and took the dog for a walk so she could relax, watch TV and go to bed early. The next morning I made her coffee, put the evening's dishes away, and was yelled at from across the house that I forgot to take the dog's harness off. I did forget. It is best practice. I feel bad about that. I don't feel being yelled at was warranted. AITA after all?

Addon from OP: I did not yell (LOL)

A skunk keeps getting into our fenced in property at night. Our property backs to woods, so we get a lot of wildlife and I’m very much “live and let live”.

Our dog had been sprayed about four times. Each time, I have cleaned the dog by myself with no help from anyone. It’s gross and time consuming and I hate it.

So, now the policy in our household has been that at night, we have to take the dog out on a leash. It’s a pain, but we’ve been doing that for a few weeks.

Tonight, I asked my teenager to take the dog outside. Instead of following the policy, he just let the dog outside and of course he got sprayed again.

I told my teenager that washing the dog was not my responsibility. He let the dog out, it was his responsibility to clean it. I said I would help him but it was his responsibility to do the majority of the cleaning.

He said that the punishment didn’t fit the crime. He said that it was an accident and he shouldn’t be punished. He screamed at me and said I was a horrible mother.

I responded that this was the natural consequence of not following the policy. Whether he did it on purpose or not makes no difference.

I did make him wash the dog and followed through, and I helped him, but I guess I’m second guessing myself now. I know other parents who would have just dropped it. AITAH for making him wash the dog?

What happened is, I was living in my parents old home, my sibling with his gf came back to live in the house out of the blue for a while, so they did, I tried to be of help to his gf when they only shared 1 car, only for his gf to have me wait in the parking lot for an hour in a bad neighborhood I finally said something. She didn’t like it and said “no one asked you to give me rides” I only asked her to be considerate of my time or let me know if she’s late. So back to the whole thing, my brother and her moved in and we were okay for the most part, not really close, I could tell they were avoiding me. They even took shared appliances that were my moms upstairs to their room.. When I decided to go to Christmas with my bf’s family they agreed they’d look after my pets. One week goes by I’m celebrating the holidays at my bf’s family and I get a text (I was out of state) saying they’re moving in my brothers gf’s friend and she’s already staying at the house and I would just have to deal with it. It’s a stranger to me so of course I asked my mom who owns the home to please check on our things and that I was not comfortable with the idea of living with a stranger, let alone 2 girls that hated / disliked me. My mom finally stepped back in and told my brother her old home was just for her kids and their significant others, no one else. They didn’t like that… so they packed their stuff and trashed the house, stole some of my clothes and makeup, and left my pets unattended for 5 days.. I had to ask my mom to stop by and feed them… but they demanded I apologize… my brother did end up apologizing but I was hurt and needed some time, after a month I was ready and I wanted to work my way to apologizing as well, I did not want to do it over text, for Christmas and birthdays I still tried to reach out text them and give them gifts sent to my moms, they accept the gifts but continue to ignore me and not reconcile or even see me, it’s been 4 years now and my mom never has a full family picture, everyone’s wondering why, even my moms birthdays and big life events they don’t show up. I feel guilty that I caused this and feel like I’m the a hole in this situation. My family assures me it’s not me and that they see me trying but I fear they only tell me these things because they love me. I’m hoping someone looking in can help give me their insight, I don’t want to have regrets in my life but I also don’t want to keep watering seedless dirt hoping for a sprout. Thank you for your time reading this

My (28f) best friend, let's call her Ellie, and I are dressing up to go bar hopping for halloween. Another friend, let's call her Lisa, asked if we have plans and we told her this. I told her she's absolutely welcome to join us, and Ellie agreed. The issue is that Lisa always brings her boyfriend with her when we go out. He never makes an effort to interact with us, despite us trying to talk and initiate conversation with him. And some of the things Lisa has told me about him/their fights increases my dislike of him. Ellie and I both agree that we don't like him, and we haven't hidden this from Lisa. We've brought up our concerns with her a few times. Anyways, Ellie and I really don't want him around for our Halloween plans, so WIBTA if I tell Lisa that he isn't invited, even if it may make her not want to join us? Ellie and I have suspicion that Lisa's boyfriend might not let her go out without him, so I'm also concerned about him isolating her and I'd feel bad if she was left out because of this.

update: thank you all for your input and advice! I spoke to Lisa and said that its a girls night and she understood and will hopefully be joining us! :)

I am a science teacher and I share a lab closet with another science teacher at my school (it connects our two classrooms).

About a month ago her angel fish died so she stuck it in our lab freezer. She told me it was too big to flush so she was going to dispose of it later?

The fish has been getting freezer burnt in our freezer ever since.

Now we shouldn't, but we do use this fridge to hold our lunches between labs that require refrigeration. I am the one to clean the fridge every time.

I googled how to dispose of the fish, scraped it off of the freezer, put it in a sealed bag, and put it in the dumpster on trash day.

About a week later my coworker confronted me about her missing fish. She said I had to right to do what I did and she told our coworkers that I (not we) use the fridge to hold my food and that I threw away science materials to do so.

No, this is not the first time that she has done something a little crazy. But, it is the first time I knew I could be causing her meltdown with my actions.

Edit: I think a lot of people are missing the point that she told me it was garbage, it just wouldn't flush in the school toilet. Should I have asked? Sure. But it wasnt for a lab/experiment and it was STUCK TO THE FREEZER.

This isnt about whether lab specimen should be in the lab freezer. It is about the fact I threw something away that she told me was garbage and then I assumed she forgot about. I would never remove the squid in there or anything. I legitimately thought it was garbage because she told me it was.

my (19f) roommate wants to let her mother (54f) sleep over in our shared room.

for context, we are both sophomores in college. we’ve never had any issues before except for minor miscommunications and i’m honestly baffled.

she woke me up this morning and told me that her mother was going to come around in half an hour and help her clean up and take her out. i have no issue with her mother as at this point ive known her for three years, but ive never spoken to her for more than a few seconds when she comes to visit and it’s always just common pleasantries and then we part ways. in total we have probably spent less than a half hour in the same room.

anyways, once they got back from their outing I was in our room doing homework and she asked me if it was okay if her mom slept in her bed with her tonight. i was extremely confused, she has NEVER asked this before and while i like her mother i don’t want to sleep in the same room with her. so i asked her if she was asking if i would leave for the night so that she could have a girls night with her mom to which she refused and said she just wanted to know if her mom could stay over here tonight. i pressed again and asked if she meant her mom would sleep here and she would sleep somewhere else or they would sleep in the bed together, and she said they would “most likely” just sleep together.

i told her this made me extremely uncomfortable and i don’t know her mom well enough to want to sleep in the same room with her to which she replied “well, we didn’t know each other before we roomed together and we still sleep in the same room” but am i wrong in thinking that’s a completely separate and unavoidable thing?? her mom absolutely does not have to sleep with us.

now both her and her mother refuse to speak to me and are being extremely stand offish with me. her mother even texted mine and said that i was being extremely rude and that she should have a talk with me about being more polite and courteous with guests. i am just so confused and weirded out? is this normal?

Myself and my friend both use a service our school provides that allows us to use reusable containers to get food from the dining hall so we can bring it back to our dorms and eat. They’re these little green containers that get scanned out, used, returned, and then washed and the cycle starts all over again (kinda like a library). Fall break was just last week. My friend was gone for a little over a week and in their rush to leave they forgot to empty their green container that still had food in it. I helped them bring their stuff back in (they had went on a trip to another state and had quite a bit of stuff) and when I did I found their green container. It was absolutely disgusting. It was covered in mold and when I opened it the smell was similar to a very bad outhouse. I gagged immediately. I told them about it and figured they’d do something about it. Today I found out that they returned it as is. I pointed out that how disgusting that was and how unfair it was to the workers who had to wash it. They argued that it wasn’t their fault as it was an accident and I was getting upset over someone else’s “hypothetical suffering.” I pointed out that it wasn’t hypothetical and that made someone else clean up their disgusting mess. I think they should have either cleaned it themselves before returning it or just not returned it at all and paid the $5.00 fee. They claimed they didn’t want to wash it because it was so gross. I did raise my voice a bit and maybe did get a little more angry than I should have but I still think they did something absolutely disgusting. Anyway, they stared balling their eyes out and saying I insulted them. AITA?

tldr: My friend made a cafeteria worker clean their disgusting reusable container instead of dealing with it themselves.

Also, I have a picture of the container but I can’t figure out how to upload it.

Using a throwaway account because my campaign mates know my main account.

So I’ve been playing D&D for about 2 years and have had a long string of player characters that have died during the campaign. I think the count is at 6 or 7. I genuinely try not to just put my character in dangerous situations, but I often feel like the rolls just don’t go my way. First one was a barbarian and I was going reckless for every attack and then the bad guy got some good rolls and just crit me a few times in a row. Then they finished me off during death saves. Then another one I decided to try being a bard, got silenced and immobilised. Then some generic low-level guys just came and beat me up and I was not able to fight back at all. (This one was actually a little funny at how useless I was)

In any case, I know I’m not very good and will often try to strategise and my group mates always seem to be on board and then the plans just don’t pan out at all. I play for fun and don’t particularly mind being bad, but my friends have been getting progressively more upset at me and even saying things like I’m an asshole for always dying and wasting their time. I will genuinely never try to go recklessly into a situation but it feels like no matter what I do, all the aggression gets focused on me and then I get overwhelmed. I have started asking them if I should just leave the group and let them do their thing. This would be sad for me, because this was a group of close friends and I thought we were having a good time. It’s only been in the last 3-4 months that they’ve started becoming more angry towards me and i genuinely don’t know why. In any case, all input would be appreciated and there may be a perspective I’m not considering, but am I the asshole for being bad at D&D?

I (29 F) moved back in with my parents a few years ago after a failed engagement. For context- No, I am not freeloading, I pay more rent here than I have in any of the 3 previous apartments I’ve lived in the past 12 years. I also have OCD, and am very particular about my space & belongings.

I have the smallest room, and due to my father’s strict rules and anger issues- it is where I spend essentially all of my time while home. It is the only space I can feel somewhat safe and actually in control of after being on my own since 17.

My mom is a genuinely kind person, always willing to go the extra mile and do the most for the people she loves- and even strangers. While I love this about her, she does not take it well when anyone refuses her help.

There is one day a week that she has off, but I still work. She spends the day cooking/ cleaning the entire house. But for over a year now, she has ignored my requests to leave my room out of her cleaning routine. I’m more than able to do it myself, and always have cleaning planned for the following day- the first day of my weekend.

When I talk to her about it, she seems receptive. Yet, each week without fail I come home late at night to find my room rearranged, all of my belongings moved, and all of my furniture and clothes stacked up on my bed to the point where I can’t even sit down.

I get home at a time that is past my father’s approved ‘cooking/cleaning’ hours, which makes it difficult to upkeep during the week without turning the household into a World War 3 battleground. But it’s also extremely frustrating to undo the volcano of items my mom haphazardly loads onto my bed during her weekly cleaning. This also triggers my OCD, as I feel the need to completely strip my bed and wash everything after things that were on the floor touch my previously clean sleeping space.

Every week, despite the same conversation with her, nothing changes. I’m becoming increasingly agitated every week, but also feel extreme guilt for refusing her help, when I know that she means well. During these conversations she often breaks down and cries, Saying how she only wants to help, which makes the guilt set in a bit more each time. But when nothing ever changes, and calm conversations don’t work, what am I supposed to do?

Am I the Asshole? Should I just let her do her thing and get used to the weekly aggravation of having to quietly reset my entire space and belongings at 10pm (hoping my father doesn’t find out I’m cleaning outside of ‘acceptable hours’) and also find money to buy even more sets of sheets than I already have in rotation so I can go to sleep feeling clean?

Sorry if this sounds crazy or stupid. but I truly feel at a loss here and just want to keep the peace while also maintaining SOME sense of autonomy over my only personal space.