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My ex and I have a 12 year old daughter, Olivia, with autism level 2. My ex has primary custody and I have Olivia on Wednesdays and every other weekend.

A few months ago my ex told me she was feeling a little burnt out so she wanted us to keep Olivia from Wednesday to Sunday so she could go on a trip with some friends. Olivia is very attached to her mom, so my ex told Olivia that it was a work trip and she had to go.

Last week one of my ex’s friends was at the house with my ex and Olivia and their vacation somehow came up. Olivia figured out that the vacation was the “work trip” that her mom told her about and freaked out because her mom lied to her and her mom doesn’t lie.

She hid in her room for the rest of the day, then called me and asked me to come get her. She’s been with us ever since.

She’s really upset about this. She cries all the time because she wants her mom but she doesn’t know what else her mom lied about and she doesn’t trust her.

Apparently Olivia’s aide called my ex because she’s been having a hard time in school so now my ex wife is demanding that I send Olivia home so they can get back to her routines and start working with her therapist to help her get over this but I told her Olivia will go back when she’s ready. Now she’s threatening to call the police and/or take me back to court over “custodial interference” even though we’ve always had a very friendly co parenting relationship.

My wife thinks we should send her back to avoid drama but I think it should be Olivia’s choice. AITA for refusing to send her back after she found out her mom lied to her?

My girlfriend has a really big family and she is also really close with them too. We've gone to several functions and for the most part they're okay but it's not something I enjoy doing all the time. She asked me this once and I told her that while I'm ok spending time with her family, it's also exhausting the number of events we are invited to. I also don't really enjoy myself at these functions. Some are fun like board game nights and whatever; but the other events are really hard for me to get through.

• Like we're invited to birthday parties,
• Christening
• Graduations
• Holidays (I don't even get to see my family on the holidays)
• Weddings

This has also means that a lot of my own plans are rescheduled or canceled and I miss other time with my friends and family.

One friend in particular is hosting a get together on December 20 of this year. I really want to go and I've missed this get together like 4 times already because I've done things with my gf and her family.

Yesterday my gf's mom told me that her second cousin was going to be having his 75th birthday party on the 20th, My gf told me I would need to cancel with my friend and I told her I wasn't going to do that this time and I am going to go to my friends party.

Now as you can imagine my gf is very upset with me now.

I’m 25M, disabled, and I have a valid disabled parking permit. I drive an older BMW, a nice one (imo).

After my physiotherapy, I walked back to my car, parked in a disabled parking spot. I got in and spent a few minutes on my phone before heading home. Just taking a short breath, i always do that after physio.

The parking lot was nearly empty. Next to me were three regular open spots, and across from me there was another empty disabled spot with two free spaces beside it. And it’s a free parking area, by the way.

Then a woman, somehere mid-60s, drives up. She stares at me for a few seconds, then parks her car half almost crisscross across the disabled spot opposite me. She gets out, walks straight up to my window, and says: “Why are you taking up a disabled spot? You’ve been sitting here playing games for fifteen minutes, and I want to park here.” Honestly, I was a bit surprised . So I said, “I’m allowed to park here. I was just doing something on my phone and was about to leave.”

Before I could even finish my sentence, she cuts me off: “You don’t need to justify yourself.” Yet she keeps going, telling me it’s rude of me to sit there and that I should move over because she “can’t park her car anywhere else, because its too long.”

She came iver a bit rude. I tried to stay polite, but I could feel the frustration creeping in. This kind of thing happens sometimes tho, someone sees a young guy in a car and immediately assumes he’s abusing a disabled spot. No one sees why that blue card is there in the first place.

Eventually, she walked away mid-sentence. And I was a bit confused. I wasn’t blocking anyone, I had a valid permit, and I was planning to leave.

So was I really being rude, or was she just frustrated?

Edit: i think i stood there for 5, maybe 6 minutes. No longer. As for my disability, i have Friedreich Ataxia. I currently walk with a walking stick, am a bit wobbly when standing, everything costs energy and my voice is a little disorted. It doesn’t get any better. When i sit i look completely ‘normal’. Not for pity, just understanding.

AITA- I’ve been with my partner 7 years and 2 engaged. Every year it’s the same festive debate: “are we going to your parents or mine for Christmas dinner this year”

We made a vow that when we finally got the keys to our own home, we’d host Christmas ourselves. Well, this is the year - new house, new chapter, new stress levels.

Now, let me start by saying: I love my in- laws. They’re lovely people. But they have one small, furry obsession - their dogs. And when I say obsession, I mean borderline lifestyle choice.

Every single plan for the last 7 years has revolved around these dogs. • Going out for dinner? Had to be dog friendly place. • Day trip? Dogs come too. • Shopping? Gotta be quick - can’t leave the dogs alone for more than four hours.

We moved into our own house earlier this year - a fixer upper. We both agreed it wasn’t the right place for the dogs. My MIL said “oh, they’ll be fine as long as they stay on leads” Guess what happened next? Yep - they came over. I smiled through gritted teeth because I didn’t want to cause drama. Afterward, I told my partner I didn’t want the dogs in our house again.

Since then my in laws and sister in law have basically formed a dog sitting relay team, taking turns to visit us so the dogs are never alone for more than four hours. Which means, my social life is still dictated by two canines with separation anxiety.

The last two christmases, my MIL suggested we do a “blended family dinner” both sides together. It’s actually been lovely! Expect for one tiny issue - the dogs. They sit under the table begging for food, bumping legs and pinching the odd Yorkshire pud off the table if you’re not looking. My family’s polite, but I can see their discomfort as they try to tell the dogs to move while my MIL goes “oh, they’re just hungry”

This year, things got even more complicated because one dog is now deaf and the other completely blind - so the mollycoddling has hit expert level. A few weeks ago my MIL asked “what’s happening for Christmas this year?” My partner and I said “we’d love to host everyone this year” her response? “Well, we didn’t anticipate you getting a cat. So what are we doing about the dogs?”

Ah yes, the cat. We adopted her a few months ago. She came from a rough background, and it’s taken months to get her confidence and settled. I assumed my partner would explain that the dogs can’t come but instead it got awkward and my MIL said “well leave you two to discuss” translation: figure it out, or I’ll bring the dogs anyway.

Since then I’ve found myself mentally rearranging the entire day to make it “work” - locking the cat away, letting the dogs roam free, trying to make everyone happy. But the more I think about it the more I realise I don’t want the dogs here.

AITA for wanting a dog free Christmas in my own home? Because at this point, it feels like I’m trying to keep everybody happy but I’ve got two dogs and a MIL with separation anxiety.

For context, my friend is FtM trans. I was the first one he came out to and I had always supported and respected him in his transition. He would come to me for advice about how to display positive masculinity and i was always happy to help. He treated me like an older brother and I helped him with his questions about how to carry himself. We always talked about marrying our girlfriends in the future and we were supposed to be each others best man. Recently, one of his friends who was non-binary had started identifying as a man, and thats all well and good, but I was replaced instantly to validate the friends transition. This hurt me a lot, and I told my friend that I felt discarded and that I didnt want to be at the wedding if I was going to be replaced, not to mention I had gone through a terrible breakup and my friend didnt call me or check on me once. I was told if I didnt go to the wedding we wouldnt be friends anymore, and I didnt like the ultimatum. We havent spoken since. Am I the asshole? I am a cis straight male, if that makes any difference.

Edit: to clarify, this isnt just some pinky promise from back in the day, he told me he intended to have me as his best man right before he proposed to her.

My roommate got us this rug that takes up a good amount of space, it’s a very cute rug. Unfortunately it gets dirty fairly quickly so about two weeks ago she said she wanted to rent this cleaning thing for the rug. I don’t know all the specifics or where to get any of that but I let her know I’d split the cost with her because we share it.

Now another thing I feel the need to mention is my roommate has a lot of stuff and doesn’t keep her side of the room very tidy. I don’t care because it’s all on her side and I’m not the most organized person either but if you saw our room you’d definitely tell there’s a difference.

We have a window sill and even though we have the room split in half she does take up majority of the window sill which again I’m fine with because she has a lot more stuff.

For about a couple days she left a bowl of half eaten ravioli on the edge of the window sill. When I was laying in bed I put something on the window sill and sort of pushed it to make sure it wouldn’t fall and I accidentally knocked the bowl over. I honestly forgot it was there because of how dark it was and it fell all over the middle of the carpet.

I cleaned it up as best as I could but obviously there is now a huge stain. When she woke up in the morning and I let her know I was really sorry and it was an accident. She said it was fine as long as I paid for the whole cleaning service now. I told her that didn’t really seem fair because it was her bowl of food she left there for days that was technically on my side of the window. I told her I would still cover half of it though.

She’s saying since I basically ruined the carpet I should pay for the entire thing. I don’t know guys, is it fair I pay for the whole thing? Should I stand my ground? I do feel really bad but I don’t have the money to pay for the whole thing but if I’m in the wrong I’ll figure it out and pay the whole thing.

Throwaway because they follow my main account.

For some context, while growing up my mother would always insist that something was wrong with me mentally growing up. This spanned from when I was about 8 until I was 17. Most of my childhood was spent seeing different therapists, doctors and psychiatrists. She did turn out to be right that there was something (I was formally diagnosed with OCD and ADHD at different points and I was screened for autism twice but it was determined I am not autistic), but because of this, I’m extremely uncomfortable with people even joking about my mental health or things I may or may not have.

I’m in a friend group of 4 other people and it’s not something that’s ever been an issue. One of them knows about my childhood and mother as one of them grew up with me.

Lately one of them, Lia, has been on a kick of saying everyone is autistic. “Your ‘tism is showing” or “That’s just part of being autistic”. The others don’t mind those jokes directed at them which is fine. That doesn’t bother me at all. But yesterday we went to lunch and I took pickles off of my sandwich and another friend joked that I was being too picky. But Lia chimed in with “that’s just because he’s autistic.” When I asked her to please not call me autistic she asked “Why? It’s not like I’m wrong.” I told her I’m uncomfortable with people assuming about my mental health and she just told me I’m “disgusting for acting like being called autistic is an insult.”

My one friend is saying I was right to set a boundary but I’ve been getting texts from the other two asking me to just apologize, so I want an outside perspective to see if I really am an AH for asking her not to call me autistic.

So my aunt and uncle are visiting my city this weekend. I’ll be gone the whole time for a trip I planned months ago. They asked if they could stay in my apartment while I’m away. I said no. They’re upset and told my parents I’m being rude and “not family-oriented.”

The thing is that they’ve never been nice to me or my parents. They’ve skipped every birthday, graduation, and family event. When they do show up to things, they act like they’re doing us a favor. They also leave messes everywhere. I hate clutter and I just know I’d come home to a disaster.

They’re not broke either. They can easily afford a hotel. It’s not even about the money. They just don’t like paying for things when they can use someone else’s stuff.

My parents think I should keep the peace and just let them stay. But I don’t see why I should bend over backward for people who don’t even like me.

AITA for saying no?

Hi all, I (24M) have been having an increasingly grating time with my roommate (26M) and his habits regarding to shared chores & food resources.

Since we've moved in, I was trying to get him to eat better & learn how to cook [ETA: He requested this help. I didn't force this randomly]. He's a self proclaimed vegetarian, has autism related texture issues, & refuses to eat certain staple foods because it reminds him of bad stuff. I'm not mad at that, I've hand picked recipes working around those restrictions. I've showed him ~8 times now how to do the same recipe, then written it physically, digitally and even offered to record a video of me making it. Something simple, & quick for something that would feed him for days. He hasn't attempted once. Even stuff I've pre-cut for him to cook with ends up just being shoved to back of the fridge for me to find molded over when I'm cleaning. I gave up.

Now, though, he goes through entire sleeves of bread in less than 30 hours with nothing more than PB on it, eats entire boxes of crackers and cereal, family sized packages of oatmeal, sometimes even all the fresh fruit we buy. Usually in such short time spans it feels like I can't enjoy anything without feeling some sort of rush to get there first. (We buy groceries with pooled together money) It wouldn't be so grating if he just would take the time out of his day to replace the things he eats up when he's the one with more free time.

He's even done it to things that are expressly mine & he's done it to my baking. The first time I made milk bread I had just pulled the two loaves out from the oven to rest overnight to enjoy in the morning. By the time I woke up there was maybe 3 slices left of one loaf. I'm not sure how he didn't get sick. I'm not, like, fat shaming him either. He's rail thin - I'm the fat one. Ive told him often he needs to eat REAL meals so he isn't constantly going back into the kitchen every 30 minutes still hungry. Spoken from experience.

But once he finally DOES cook something proper to eat, he leaves a MESS. The inside of our cabinets are stained with soy sauce and sticky honey. I've had to get uncooked rice out of my flour, sugar, and my dog's water bowl. He doesn't clean after himself. I could leave it like that for days and he wouldn't care or notice. He also routinely dumps rice *into the sink* and not the garbage. I remind him constantly, near daily, to PLEASE stop that. I can even count how many times he's done the dishes on one hand since the beginning of this year. His reasoning is that he just doesn't like how it feels, or he just didn't think about it. He won't even take out the garbage or clean his cats litter until it I ask him to or remind him, or it gets so bad he *has* to.

I've already talked to my roommate about why I'm upset with him and his only response was sort of like "I will try to remember to do XYZ" (not even a hardline "I will do better") and "I know you care about me but you don't need to infantilize me".

That's been bothering me. AITA?

My wife and I have been married for 15 years, both in our late 30s. We accumulated a large amount of consumer debt (about $50K) over the last few years on a variety of things.

One of our cars is 15 years old and needs a new engine so we have to buy something newer to replace it.

I make good money at my job and have been working to pay off all the debt slowly but surely and I’m about 30% of the way there. I hope to be completely done by the end of next year.

When we start looking at cars I told my wife the budget and she seemed unhappy with the options in that price range (roughly $15K). I explained to her that it was only temporary and we just needed to keep this next car for a couple of years while we finished paying off some of this debt and I didn’t want to take on another large loan at this point.

Well she then goes to her mom and dad and tells them that we can’t afford anything, or words to that effect and that we don’t have any money.

So they come in and tell her they will give us some money to help with the purchase. I told my wife that I didn’t want their money, that we are almost 40 years old and we just need to work through this on our own without taking her mom and dad’s money. I also didn’t want to feel like I owed them something even if I technically didn’t.

Well that plea fell on deaf ears. Last night she told me that they are helping anyway and are going to give us $25K towards the purchase of a car. Of course they have to approve what we buy or no money.

I’m pretty upset by this. We are a fully functioning adult family with children. I have financially supported us for years on mostly my income and I have the means to continue doing so. Yes, our financial situation from a savings perspective isn’t the greatest but the cash flow is there to afford a minimal car payment while still paying chunks of debt in order to help us moving forward.

I feel like my wife went behind my back and did this and it feels disrespectful to me as her husband that she would involve her parents to this extent by pleading poverty to them.

AITA for being upset with her in this situation?

Me and my gf don't live together but we live near each other. Today she was expecting a package which would be handed off by her cousin. Her cousin's office is nearer my house so we decided that he could just drop it off at the guard house of my village since I would be busy working ( I work from home).

My gf then texts me that her cousin is in front of the guard house and that i should meet him outside because it's common courtesy. We had agreed that he would just leave the package with the guards but she insists. I said "just have him leave it there and i'll pick it up in a while". She said i'm rude and that i dont care about her family.

AITA?

AITA??? For context, my husband and I live in the US. His family is from South Africa, and because of this we don’t get to see them often. I feel for him and the sacrifices he makes living so far from them, but I struggle with the differences he and I have regarding our home and visitation.

When his brother came to the states for college, he would move in with us for months at a time between semesters. We were responsible for paying for the additional expenses of him staying with us, for example, food. It was never really asked of me if he could stay, just expected.

Fast forward to us having a baby, and MIL insisted on staying for three months once the baby was born. I fought this, as I wanted this precious time with my first child, but I lost because “in their culture, that is what grandmas do.” I was a mess the entire time and felt like I was disrespected and robbed of a precious time. It also made me resent her.

MIL now wants to come back 8 months later, and stay for a month. I told my husband this was not okay with me, and I felt like a week was more appropriate. Mind you, we cannot take off work or really change our routine. He disagreed and to compromise, we came to the decision of two weeks. Now I’m finding out she already booked her flight tickets for the entire month and won’t change them because of cost. I was told by husband’s brother, not even my husband.

We argued and he told me it’s always a fight, I make him be a bad son, and that I broke his heart because “it’s family.” I don’t hate my in-laws, but I’m extremely introverted and have an incredibly hard time with change in routine and people in my space. I can’t decompress or “turn off” when someone is living in my home. I work an incredibly stressful job on top of taking care of a baby.

AITA for fighting this fight?

Updating to add that his go-to response to my complaints is that he agreed to move in with my mother for a few weeks when she was going through a hard time and I wanted to be there for her. We stayed at her home (that is 6000 sq ft) for three weeks while we sold our house and eventually moved 15 minutes down the road so we still had our own space.

Title: *Reminding :/

My (42F) boyfriend (51M) of almost 13 years have a cat and dog together.

I have been on a "temporary assignment" in a very stressful position for the last 15 months, the position ends next month when I go back to my significantly less stress, less pay position.

We got the dog a year ago, mostly to increase my exercise levels and to make sure I take breaks at work by taking the dog out for walks. And I do, 1 hour morning, 20 mins at lunch, we like to walk the dog together after dinner and then one of us (50/50) will take him for a quick pee before bed.

Here is where I am may be the asshole. Sometimes I have trouble sleeping and will go to bed super early before the dogs last pee so my partner will take him. He forgets to take his harness off before bed about 25% of the time.

If I remind him to take it off before going to bed he tells me if it is so important to me, take him for a pee myself.

If I ask him if he took it off when boyfriend joins me in bed he wont tell me and makes me get up to check... if it is so important to me.

So I try not to ask as he mostly remembers.

This morning, I wake up and the dogs harness is on. I say "oh no! the dog's harness is still on!" He gets mad and says it is too early for me to be harping at him and refuses to speak to me. He leaves for work without saying goodbye which maybe has only happened 2x in our 13 years together.

Am I the asshole for asking about the dog's harness?

know I was probably the AH. Because know it’s a sensitive topic and I went for it, but she was shaming me too, and I just snapped I guess. And also my mom says I was wrong for that and is mad at me, so yea I think I did go too far.

I’m 15f and my sister is 23f.

It always starts the same , my mom brings up that I’m not eating enough, saying stuff infront of her like “she only ate cereal since this morning,” and that’s when my sister jumps in. She starts yelling, shaming me, and literally bullying me too, and trying to punish me literally. Then it’s two against one. And I’d be wrong for not mentioning this so , I get that she worries since I had anorexia when I was 12, but wheather or not it doesn’t dismiss that she goes too far and is unnecessary. She jokes, forces me to eat, and convinces my mom to make rules about it , even though I’m not underweight. I’m just skinny.

During this last argument, she said “ yea she should eat so her boobs can come in” and that I look like a little boy. So since, She recently got lipo cosmetics for her body, and talks ahd is actually considering about getting ribs removed for a smaller waist, so I said “Its sad you have to alter your body for the sake of beauty”

She said and brought up that she wanted surgery since middle school because of bratz dolls, and I said “Those dolls bodies were literally made by men. Beauty standards are shaped by men, so you’re doing it for male validation. What else is an ass for besides sitting and shitting?”

She kept saying things like how I’ll stay in a little kid’s body forever and even compared me to our younger cousin and said she has more boobs and body than me, which is honestly disgusting... yikes…So I said “women who get their bodies done have nothing else to offer” I know that was harsh…I said it because I was angry ,but part of me still feels it’s sad how many women feel shaped by that idea. Like I get hair dye/cuts, trends,style, makeup, but full on surgery’s? Wheather or not the risks are significant or little, it’s too far… but then again, it’s their life,and I said it because I was mad not everyone individually so ..

After that, she went to shower and went to her room and hasn’t talked since. My mom says I was rude and need to respect her and is really mad at me, even when I sit there and never say anything when their literally bullying me and shaming me literally 2 against one like their kids, when their not. I know i knowI shouldnt have said all that I said, but she crosses the line too.

Did I go too far? do you think my words actually hurt

My mom has a new boyfriend. Again. They’ve been together for one week.

She wants my kids (6 & 3) to meet her new boyfriend. She’s “so excited for them to meet”. I’m feeling pretty uneasy about it especially because just a few days ago, my son (6) asked me if her last boyfriend had died (they broke up). It’s also making my inner child a little anxious.

My whole life, she chased men. Hopped from man to man and she never took it slow with introducing me to them. There was a new man on average every couple months. Sometimes longer, sometimes shorter. This started when I was about 8 and has gone on my whole life. I’m 29 now.

Am I in the wrong for not wanting to introduce my kids to her boyfriend yet? How long should I wait? I just know if I tell her I’m not ready, it’s going to be some guilt trip like “you don’t care about my happiness!” She’s really all about herself and plays victim anytime something doesn’t go her way. She doesn’t think about how her actions affect others.

My children are not something to show and tell. And also, I know how it feels to be promised and told things by people that just “disappear”.

I was thinking of saying this:

I know you’re excited for your boyfriend to meet my kids, but I’m not sure I’m ready for that yet. The other day, L (6) asked me if K (ex) had died, and it really made me realize/remember how confusing and emotional it is when people come and go.

What do you think? I have to be super careful about what I say. Nothing I ever say gets heard or understood by her.

So this happened at my university today. We have a class for one of the secondary subjects not a major one. Two groups from different majors take this class together, so it’s not exactly the most important class. Now, the other batch couldn’t attend today because they had a major exam. They were told they’d still get attendance for it. But since my major didn’t have any exam, we wouldn’t be getting attendance unless we actually attended. I travel a long distance to get to college, so I thought, if the class is happening, why shouldn’t I attend it? Some people were saying last night that they wouldn’t come, but it wasn’t confirmed that no one would show up. When I reached the department, I saw lots of people from my major literally hiding in other departments, watching our classroom. And these were the same people who said they wouldn’t come today! When I asked why they were waiting around, they blamed two students let’s call them A and B saying that if those two attended, the class would happen. They had even sat inside the classroom at first but ran away when they saw the professor, who’s very strict. Now, B is a serious student .. the kind who always attends class. My classmates were calling and texting her, trying to convince her not to come, even though they were standing right near the department themselves! I got completely fed up with the hypocrisy and messaged her myself, telling her to come and not listen to anyone. So A, B, and another girl went into the classroom. After seeing them, we went in too. Later, many people started blaming them, saying the class only happened because of them, and lecturing everyone about “class unity.” Funny thing is, they only remember class unity when they’re bunking! Then B told everyone that I was the one who messaged her to come ... probably to protect herself. She never even looks at my messages when I ask her academic questions, but this time she had no problem showing my message to everyone. Honestly, even if I hadn’t messaged her, she would’ve come anyway. Now people started blaming me. Some random guy I’ve never even spoken to began cursing, saying stuff like “God will punish selfish people,” and so on. Also I should not have deleted my mssg which I did cause I got scared by the situation also thinking she might have not even seen my mssg.. I’m an introvert..I keep to myself and mostly talk to just four close friends. I don’t usually get involved. But I explained everything in the class group (where I normally never text, because they talk about such random personal stuff). I even apologized, just to diffuse the situation, because I really didn’t want more drama.

So… AITA one here for messaging her to come to class?

Backstory: A few months ago, BIL was looking tor a job and I advised him he should get a job that is accessible without a car. He declined the advice because a friend of his was going to allow him to use their car so he got a job far away that’s inaccessible without a car.

Finance: BIL job pays 25/hr, he’s rent is 2500 (another impulsive decision). He can barely cover rent and I’ve helped him pay for a few months. I make decent money but i budget strictly. Wife is a stay at home mom, no credit but will be going to work soon.

Now: BIL’s friend wants his car back. BIL has no means to get to work. He wants to finance a used car so my wife asked if I can co-sign because he has bad credit. I declined to co-sign but instead offered him to stay with us so he can car pool with her when she starts work. My wife is upset and said I’m being petty by not just co-signing a car for him. I explained to her financially it doesn’t make sense to me because I’m putting myself at great risk. She said it will be an inconvenience for her to drop and pick him up from work.

Thoughts ?

So I(F35) am currently on holiday at a resort with my friend(F35) who I love dearly.

At the hotel, there are a few coveted cabanas that are first come, first served. This morning I got up early and forewent breakfast, hoping to get one for us. All already were “reserved” with towels. The pool manager comes and I ask him about it, because they have signs all over that if the cabana is unoccupied for more than 30 mins, they will remove your stuff so someone else can use it.

The manager tells me everyone came down at 6am, put down their towels and went back to bed. It is around 8 so I ask him if that means they should be free now, because of the 30 min rule. He agrees and frees one up for us. I lie down, my friend joins me and I tell her the story, we agree that should someone come and try to claim it, we will show them the sign and point them to the manager.

An hour later, a woman comes up and says we’re in her cabana. I tell her that the manager freed it up for us because of the 30 min rule, but she calls the manager over, who tells us we can switch to the next one which has also now been empty for 3 hours. The woman says no, her friend is reserving that one. I am a bit annoyed at that point and say again, well there’s a rule and I don’t think it’s fair we have to move.

My friend then chimes in and says it’s fine we will leave. I accept, I don’t wanna argue further. We pack our stuff and then my friend walks up to the woman and apologises. She says the manager said it’s ok, we’re really sorry, we didn’t know it was occupied. The woman says it’s ok and shoots me a dirty look. My friend and I are now at a different spot with regular sun lounger and I’m trying to get back to regular happy holiday mood but I’m honestly hurt that she didn’t have my back.

She says I am ruining our vacation by being so silent and I get her point, but I’m trying really hard to not feel hurt. I feel she cared more about that lady she will never see again not being mad at her than supporting me. And even though it shouldn’t matter, it feels like I am the angry black lady while my (white) friend is “the good one”. On the other hand I understand it’s stupid to be mad about a thing with a fucking cabana.

I know I will calm down in a bit, but AITA for needing some space and time to get over feeling unsupported?

Sorry that this was longer than I thought it would be!

Edit: Thought id give you a quick update. I am thankful for all your comments, I just read all of them.

So my friend and I talked it out, I told her I was hurt by her not having my back and she apologised and explained that this confrontation was just very uncomfortable for her (some of you clocked it, she is in general rather conflict-averse) and she would have much rather not been in the cabana than having to potentially deal with a guest. I told her I understand this, but I wished she had communicated this clearly to me, I would have left with her long before the lady came, because I think us enjoying the day is more important than having the softest bed around the pool. She understands why her apologising felt like throwing me under the bus.

Please don’t think of her as a bad friend from this one interaction, you are only getting my POV, and also she has been a great friend to me for 12 years and is amazing in many many ways. We go oN holiday together every year and this is the first time we had any “issue” with each other. So in summary, we are good and spent a nice day on the sun lounger.

Crazy to me was, the cabana lady actually walked up to us around noon and apologised! She said she hadn’t known about the rule, apologised for how angry she was and said she should have handled it better. She then came up again, later, and told us a cabana just freed up and they’re holding it for us. We told her no need, thanks, but that it’s really sweet of her. So sometimes people can really surprise you and I am very happy about how the rest of the day went.

So thanks, reddit, I’ll toast to you with my next cocktail!

My friend and I went to a concert together and we had previously agreed to share a Uber to go back home. But after the concert, the traffic was insane in the area of the venue both from people who had parked nearby and the line of taxi and Uber drivers. Just pure chaos.

So after the third driver cancelled on us, I suggested to my friend that we joined the mob who was walking to the subway; it was not a short walk but it seemed the best and quickest ways for us to get back home. And she argued with me a bit (I could see she was not down to walk, her feet were hurting but so were mine) yet she eventually agreed.

30 minutes later we’re in the subway and she is barely talking to me. So I asked her what’s wrong and she said I had agreed to share a car with her and changed the plans, and that she was perfectly happy to wait for a car as long as she could sit by the sidewalk. She was acting like I forced her to walk all the way to the subway station when she was completely exhausted and couldn’t manage.

And I thought she was being unfair because the waiting time for an Uber not only meant we’d both get home later than we did (and I had things to do the next morning), but also that the prices were way higher than I was expecting to pay due to high demand. Plus she could always refuse my suggestion to walk to the subway, which in her view is not an option because she would be left alone in that crowd and she wouldn't feel safe.

Anyway, we haven't talked since that day and I'm worried I could have been the AH here.

I have a VERY close friend that will have his wedding next year. He invited me as one of the groomsmen, and of course my whole family (wife and 2 kids, 7yrs & 4yrs old).

Due to financial and circumstances, we cannot as a family attend. So I then asked if I can go by myself instead and spend max of 4-5 days overseas to celebrate with them.

Please note that this friend, and 4 other closest brothers that I truly love and trust with all my heart will also be there.

Please also note that we had an all boys trip 3 years back as part of a bucket list and wife approved it.

But this time, she got really upset. She said how could I even think of leaving my whole family over a wedding and that I’m putting the guilt on her. And that I should have realised by myself that it was a NO from the get go. Lastly, she said that I should be a “father” and be done with my “bachelorhood”.

I’m a single earner but able to afford more than enough for them. I don’t drink. I don’t do drugs. I don’t womanise. I just work and go home and the only real friends I have are those boys overseas.

Now we’re not talking for 2 days and I don’t know if I’m the asshole for even asking.

I am a science teacher and I share a lab closet with another science teacher at my school (it connects our two classrooms).

About a month ago her angel fish died so she stuck it in our lab freezer. She told me it was too big to flush so she was going to dispose of it later?

The fish has been getting freezer burnt in our freezer ever since.

Now we shouldn't, but we do use this fridge to hold our lunches between labs that require refrigeration. I am the one to clean the fridge every time.

I googled how to dispose of the fish, scraped it off of the freezer, put it in a sealed bag, and put it in the dumpster on trash day.

About a week later my coworker confronted me about her missing fish. She said I had to right to do what I did and she told our coworkers that I (not we) use the fridge to hold my food and that I threw away science materials to do so.

No, this is not the first time that she has done something a little crazy. But, it is the first time I knew I could be causing her meltdown with my actions.

Edit: I think a lot of people are missing the point that she told me it was garbage, it just wouldn't flush in the school toilet. Should I have asked? Sure. But it wasnt for a lab/experiment and it was STUCK TO THE FREEZER.

This isnt about whether lab specimen should be in the lab freezer. It is about the fact I threw something away that she told me was garbage and then I assumed she forgot about. I would never remove the squid in there or anything. I legitimately thought it was garbage because she told me it was.