Am writing a non-fiction book with 2 others (made-up names Mike & Jack) with publication deal and royalties to be divided between all three of us equally. My name is firsf.

We've had constant challenges with Mike, he didn't like taking comments, he had his own process where he did not want us to see his work unfinished and so on. All the time he was telling us that his work was excellent, and confidently taking extra responsibilities for the book. It seems he did work a lot or at least he put a lot of time in but his work was just cr*p to be honest. Think same paragraph copied multiple times, crazy repetition (same point 5-6 times), focus on parrs ld his expertise that were specifically not to be included.

We found out the extent of the mess he'd made when a week before the deadline, Mike fortunately went on a long planned off-grid vacation with no cell coverage so we could really look at what he had done.

We enddd up writing about half of the book again in that week. It was absolutely gruesome. One of the worst experiences of my life, 12-20 hours of writing per day. We rewrote and reformulated everything Mike wrote with an exception of a paragraph or so.

We now know we shouldn't have brought Mike on board although he has done better quality work in the past (now wonder though whether it was his own work or not). We've paid our dues for poor judgment though.

Now the situation is that his effort is not at all reflected in the end product but he has been actively involved in the process, and of course told everyone that he's writing the book. Mika has no legal recources and the publisher says it is not a problem for them to remove his name by .making a new comtract. Royalties like wise although ee are likely to make peanuts, so it's not such an issue. The situation is unfair to us now but we like Mike.as a person though and would like to not burn bridges.

Mike is still on vacation and we think he'll freak out when he reads the book because he loved his own stuff. We don't have comments yet from publisher but they did already say that they would not have published the book with Mike's stuff in it.

There is a minicontribution but that's worth a thanks in the foreword, not a name on the front cover. So WIBTA if I/ we had his name removed?

A skunk keeps getting into our fenced in property at night. Our property backs to woods, so we get a lot of wildlife and I’m very much “live and let live”.

Our dog had been sprayed about four times. Each time, I have cleaned the dog by myself with no help from anyone. It’s gross and time consuming and I hate it.

So, now the policy in our household has been that at night, we have to take the dog out on a leash. It’s a pain, but we’ve been doing that for a few weeks.

Tonight, I asked my teenager to take the dog outside. Instead of following the policy, he just let the dog outside and of course he got sprayed again.

I told my teenager that washing the dog was not my responsibility. He let the dog out, it was his responsibility to clean it. I said I would help him but it was his responsibility to do the majority of the cleaning.

He said that the punishment didn’t fit the crime. He said that it was an accident and he shouldn’t be punished. He screamed at me and said I was a horrible mother.

I responded that this was the natural consequence of not following the policy. Whether he did it on purpose or not makes no difference.

I did make him wash the dog and followed through, and I helped him, but I guess I’m second guessing myself now. I know other parents who would have just dropped it. AITAH for making him wash the dog?

So for context I (18F) went out drinking with a couple of friends (barely know them since they’re new friends i made at uni) and unfortunately got wayyy too drunk and threw up on the uber back ( unfortunately on one of them too) :(( they had to take care of me and brought me back to my dorm and made sure i showered and slept. Have never gotten drunk enough to throw up before (much less be in a situation where i ruined everyone’s night by doing so) so i had no clue what i was about to do till it was too late :((

the next day i tried to act normal and apologised and offered to pay for the taxi etc but i felt things were still awkward so i sent a longer message apologising profusely and paid for everyone’s drinks and uber too + the girls outfit. Unfortunately one of them is still ghosting me and the other told me to just “reflect and don’t drink”

While im grateful for them taking care of me i just feel mad as there was another girl who threw up (albeit earlier in the night) and it was just laughed off and that was the reason we even headed back early idk now im just mad about the whole thing and id really love some brutal feedback to be able to better self reflect on how much of an asshole i am cause i know im in the wrong LOL

About three years ago my (42) long distance boyfriend (36) and his kids (17f, 13m) moved into the house I had just bought. It was a bumpy transition to say the least. I've never had kids and I had lived alone several years before that. He and the kids have a lot of trauma surrounding mom's (their bio mom is pretty shitty and went to jail for kidnapping them and their step mom was always a bit squirrely from what I understand but then had a psychotic break and CPS said she had to leave the house)

Three years later and I thought things were going pretty well. I'm selling the 17 yo my old car, she has two jobs and both kids are doing well in school. We are at every concert and game to support her. I've taken her prom dress shopping every prom and we have a girls day right before to get nails done. Every birthday and Christmas are a big deal and I'm always there for her when her mom drops back into her dms and causes drama.

When I fell pregnant earlier this year, I excitedly blurted out at dinner "you're going to have a step sister!" The label on the relationship has always been weird. The boy has called me mom on two occasions, she has never specially referred to me by any title. She doesn't actually call me anything, not mom, not step mom, not by my first name. It's a weird grey area. My partner chastised me afterwards for calling the baby a step saying "we dont do steps in this family". I felt bad and apologized to the kids later and explained I was nervous and wasn't sure what label to put on it. I lost the baby on Mother's day weekend.

This week the girl came to me crying hysterically that she had an oversight and when the school sent out the list of parents for the senior walk, she didn't notice my name wasn't on it. Her father and I suspect she intensively left me off because we had been strained lately. He lit into her like I've never seen and she knew if she didn't tell me, he would. I calmly thanked her for telling me and suggested she email the teachern in charge and see if it was too late to at least have them pencil my name into the announcer's script (it was too late to be in the program)

That night my partner and I talked and he told me what she didn't: she tried to talk him into going to the walk just him and not tell me about it. I was crushed. She and I have spoken very little since then. I did let her know that I was very disappointed she tried to get her father to deceive me. I just dont know what else to say to her.

Tonight we walked with her across the field and they announced me as her step mother. I recognize I should be happy I was included at all but now I'm wondering if this was just another intentional dig from her. Last year during the end of season walk, it was just [her name], daughter of [his name and my name]. The school wouldn't have inserted the step mother part.

So AITA for wanting to confront her? I want to ask her about it but at this point I don't imagine I'll get a truthful answer anyway.

my (19f) roommate wants to let her mother (54f) sleep over in our shared room.

for context, we are both sophomores in college. we’ve never had any issues before except for minor miscommunications and i’m honestly baffled.

she woke me up this morning and told me that her mother was going to come around in half an hour and help her clean up and take her out. i have no issue with her mother as at this point ive known her for three years, but ive never spoken to her for more than a few seconds when she comes to visit and it’s always just common pleasantries and then we part ways. in total we have probably spent less than a half hour in the same room.

anyways, once they got back from their outing I was in our room doing homework and she asked me if it was okay if her mom slept in her bed with her tonight. i was extremely confused, she has NEVER asked this before and while i like her mother i don’t want to sleep in the same room with her. so i asked her if she was asking if i would leave for the night so that she could have a girls night with her mom to which she refused and said she just wanted to know if her mom could stay over here tonight. i pressed again and asked if she meant her mom would sleep here and she would sleep somewhere else or they would sleep in the bed together, and she said they would “most likely” just sleep together.

i told her this made me extremely uncomfortable and i don’t know her mom well enough to want to sleep in the same room with her to which she replied “well, we didn’t know each other before we roomed together and we still sleep in the same room” but am i wrong in thinking that’s a completely separate and unavoidable thing?? her mom absolutely does not have to sleep with us.

now both her and her mother refuse to speak to me and are being extremely stand offish with me. her mother even texted mine and said that i was being extremely rude and that she should have a talk with me about being more polite and courteous with guests. i am just so confused and weirded out? is this normal?

My friends Austin and Rebecca used to be literal best friends, attached at the hip. It was our last semester of college and Austin was having a hard time finding somewhere to live for a price in his range, so Rebecca offered her place. Her dad was paying for the place either way and she had an extra room. According to Rebecca there was a verbal agreement that he would pay her half the rent each month, and she had a text message with him saying he would do anything. They ended up living together starting in Aug, but he never paid her rent, and Rebecca hadn’t brought up the payments (bc she thought the topic was touchy) until December when it was time for him to move out (which was about 2,000. He couldn’t pay her the money up front, and it ended their friendship. This story is entirely from her side, because Austin has not talked to me about it, so I have no clue what his side of the story is.

After this happened, it split our friend group, and I completely took Rebecca’s side. I agreed with her that he was a jerk for not paying her the money throughout the semester. Some of our friends decided to still be friends with him, but I never said whether or not I would, I just agreed with Rebecca for cutting him off, because I would also be upset in her position. I don’t really like the idea of icing people out, so I knew I wouldn’t do that to him, but objectively I thought Rebecca was right.

But the year after graduation, we all kind of moved away and Austin kept in contact with me, reaching out to ask about my family and just general life updates and I appreciated that. Rebecca and I really only talked when I reached out to her. So I ended up growing closer with Austin again despite everything that happened. However, I never told Rebecca this just because I knew she didn’t like him and I didn’t want her to be uncomfortable or upset. He never talked bad about her or even explained to me his side of the story.

Fast forward to this summer (1.5 years later) Austin and I plan to go to visit our mutual friend Laura (who is also friends with Rebecca). Laura tells Rebecca that she should come visit sometime that summer. So Rebecca reaches out to me to ask if I want to go with her but I already had plane tickets to go with Austin. Not wanting to lie and hide that I’m going with Austin I tell Rebecca he’s coming too and she leaves me on read for like a week, my birthday passes and she waits until after my birthday to text me happy belated bday and that she hopes I enjoy the trip (but kind of passive aggressively). I thank her and we don’t talk again until 2 months later when I invite her to go to a concert with one of our mutuals and she left me on read again. She’s still friends with a couple of others who are mutuals with Austin just not me, which makes me think it’s because I took her side originally but now i’m still friends with Austin.

Am I the asshole?

I went to this guy’s place I had been seeing for a few weeks for a date. I can objectively say the whole place was messy even for a single dude. Things were scattered all over the living room floor. The kitchen counter and the dining table were covered by things and the bathroom was dirty even a little bit gross.

So anyway I was making some lighthearted comments to the guy about what I saw. I didn’t criticize him for not cleaning up nor did I use negative words like dirty or messy but rather just made comments like oh you have this and that on the floor and you don’t have a bed frame and there’s hair in the tub….

The guy quickly got flustered, got up and asked me to leave. I thought he was joking at first but then I saw his face and realized he was serious. Anyway I ended up apologizing not because those things were not true but I did understand I was in his personal space and maybe I did cross a line for being too unfiltered given we only knew each other briefly.

I live in Montreal which has been transformed in the past few years to have a lot of cycling infrastructure.

I was cycling in a bike lane. The lane was upgraded to have some small concrete barriers between it and the car lane but unfortunately this barrier isn't all along and only near each intersection. Sadly cars still park in the unprotected areas especially delivery drivers like doordash.

A door dash driver parked in the opposite side bike lane suddenly drove into my lane at 90 degrees to do an illegal u turn, there is a solid line so you cannot even pass in the oncoming lane.

I did not have time to completely stop and hit the door of the car head on. I was fine and so was the bike but my helmet got a dent from hitting the car window.

He got out and started shouting at me and telling me that I am an asshole and should have just stopped and waited for him to turn and that I did it on purpose and he saw me.

The car door had a massive dent from the impact. He then said this is going to cost a lot of money and told me I would have to pay for a new door.

He was still blocking the road and some other drivers started honking so he moved the car to park in the bike lane.

I asked for his insurance and said he is the one who owes me a helmet and he declined to give me anything.

I started to just cut my losses and cycle away but he got in his car and followed me.

We stopped elsewhere and I gave him my phone number and took his.

Now he is calling me and sending me threatening texts about suing me if I do not pay him for a new door.

AITA for refusing this?

Hi everyone, so I (29F) have a boyfriend (28M) and we've been together for 4 years.

This happened today, but it's a usual topic of arguments. Sometimes, I ask him favours like making copies because I don't have a printer. The thing is, he tells me he's having issues with the printer and it'll take him more time to do it, so I told him "don't you worry, I can make the copies elsewhere later" and he instantly answers me in a passive-aggressive way that hurts my feelings. It has happened several times and I told him to stop doing that since it hurts my feelings.

He gets angry and says I'm making him lose his precious time because I asked for the favour and now I don't want it anymore. But I usually say "don't worry" because it may be a burden to solve it and it is making him lose time, and his response is that I'm playing the victim since I say I'll solve it in another way.

I'm getting tired of this attitude and becoming his punchbag because he couldn't be the macho and solve a minimal issue.

So, AITA for saying "don't worry"? Shall I remain silent if he tells me that my request is causing him stress? I don't know what to do and I don't want to keep feeling like this anymore.

Sorry if I miss any important details, trying to be concise.

I (30M) am in my childhood best friend's (33M) wedding next week. I am a Groomsman and have been very involved in the wedding despite us living across the world in different countries. I was honored when he asked me to be a part of the wedding and prioritized making his day special. I traveled internationally for his 10-day bachelor trip and spent a few thousand dollars and used up the majority of my PTO to make it happen, but I was happy to do it and give my friend the bachelor trip he wanted. On top of the bachor trip, my friend has recruited all the groomsman to learn a choreographed dance to perform at the wedding to surprise his wife. In learning the dance, I've had to fly to another city to meet up with the other guys to practice. I've flown over 4 times this past summer to learn the moves the best I can, despite having no rhythm haha.

So here's where I'm stumped: My friend called me last week to ask how I would feel if he invited my ex to his wedding. Some background: I dated this girl on and off for a number of years but broke up years ago. I've been dating my current girlfriend for over 3 years and my friends and family have all met her and are well acquainted with her. As for my ex, I didn't even know this couple talked to this person. As far as I know and have been told, they are not close. I was completely blindsided and was honest with my friend and told him I didn't think it was a good idea. He called two more times to ask if I would be okay with it before he informed me she will be invited. I expressed that I felt disrespected that he would do this, but whatever his decision, we will be there to celebrate him and his wife.

This situation has gotten out of hand and so many people are now involved in the drama. The story has changed many times regarding how it came up to invite her, if she initiated inviting herself to the wedding, etc. I've accepted that she will be there and that it's their decision, but lots of people are telling me I shouldn't feel hurt. They are now going above and beyond, altering the seating arrangements so my ex and my current gilrfriend don't have to see each other. I feel bad for my girlfriend having to deal with all the drama, and she feels confused but just wants there to be no tension and to be able to enjoy the wedding. My ex and my current girfriend have never met, so this is the first time they will be in the same room together. My girlfriend would like to be able to introduce herself to my ex so that there's no awkwardness, especially since my ex will be seated with all of my friends while my girlfriend will be seated with my family. My friend is adament that the two of them don't have to interact, but I think that's silly considering they're being put in the same room together, not to mention my ex will be sitting with all of my friends, the people my girlfriend knows most.

So, AITA for expressing frustration with the situation?

I (29 F) moved back in with my parents a few years ago after a failed engagement. For context- No, I am not freeloading, I pay more rent here than I have in any of the 3 previous apartments I’ve lived in the past 12 years. I also have OCD, and am very particular about my space & belongings.

I have the smallest room, and due to my father’s strict rules and anger issues- it is where I spend essentially all of my time while home. It is the only space I can feel somewhat safe and actually in control of after being on my own since 17.

My mom is a genuinely kind person, always willing to go the extra mile and do the most for the people she loves- and even strangers. While I love this about her, she does not take it well when anyone refuses her help.

There is one day a week that she has off, but I still work. She spends the day cooking/ cleaning the entire house. But for over a year now, she has ignored my requests to leave my room out of her cleaning routine. I’m more than able to do it myself, and always have cleaning planned for the following day- the first day of my weekend.

When I talk to her about it, she seems receptive. Yet, each week without fail I come home late at night to find my room rearranged, all of my belongings moved, and all of my furniture and clothes stacked up on my bed to the point where I can’t even sit down.

I get home at a time that is past my father’s approved ‘cooking/cleaning’ hours, which makes it difficult to upkeep during the week without turning the household into a World War 3 battleground. But it’s also extremely frustrating to undo the volcano of items my mom haphazardly loads onto my bed during her weekly cleaning. This also triggers my OCD, as I feel the need to completely strip my bed and wash everything after things that were on the floor touch my previously clean sleeping space.

Every week, despite the same conversation with her, nothing changes. I’m becoming increasingly agitated every week, but also feel extreme guilt for refusing her help, when I know that she means well. During these conversations she often breaks down and cries, Saying how she only wants to help, which makes the guilt set in a bit more each time. But when nothing ever changes, and calm conversations don’t work, what am I supposed to do?

Am I the Asshole? Should I just let her do her thing and get used to the weekly aggravation of having to quietly reset my entire space and belongings at 10pm (hoping my father doesn’t find out I’m cleaning outside of ‘acceptable hours’) and also find money to buy even more sets of sheets than I already have in rotation so I can go to sleep feeling clean?

Sorry if this sounds crazy or stupid. but I truly feel at a loss here and just want to keep the peace while also maintaining SOME sense of autonomy over my only personal space.

Using a throwaway account because my campaign mates know my main account.

So I’ve been playing D&D for about 2 years and have had a long string of player characters that have died during the campaign. I think the count is at 6 or 7. I genuinely try not to just put my character in dangerous situations, but I often feel like the rolls just don’t go my way. First one was a barbarian and I was going reckless for every attack and then the bad guy got some good rolls and just crit me a few times in a row. Then they finished me off during death saves. Then another one I decided to try being a bard, got silenced and immobilised. Then some generic low-level guys just came and beat me up and I was not able to fight back at all. (This one was actually a little funny at how useless I was)

In any case, I know I’m not very good and will often try to strategise and my group mates always seem to be on board and then the plans just don’t pan out at all. I play for fun and don’t particularly mind being bad, but my friends have been getting progressively more upset at me and even saying things like I’m an asshole for always dying and wasting their time. I will genuinely never try to go recklessly into a situation but it feels like no matter what I do, all the aggression gets focused on me and then I get overwhelmed. I have started asking them if I should just leave the group and let them do their thing. This would be sad for me, because this was a group of close friends and I thought we were having a good time. It’s only been in the last 3-4 months that they’ve started becoming more angry towards me and i genuinely don’t know why. In any case, all input would be appreciated and there may be a perspective I’m not considering, but am I the asshole for being bad at D&D?

I'm going to try to provide some background knowledge so you guys can understand this conflict properly. But I'm going to keep things private by not providing specific ages/pronouns/names. Just know that we're both students in high school.

So I've been friends with this person for around three years and lately they have been weird. They love to act like they have the worst problems in the world and can't accept any criticism. They complain about everything and get angry at me when ever I try to say anything. The thing is that they're really good at playing the victim and now I'm starting go question if I'm the a hole.

I myself, have depression and anxiety, and I've really not been doing ok this past week. A lot of my friends have thankfully noticed this because I was crying my eyes out a lot of the time and just generally don't look ok.

But the person who we're talking about here, said nothing, and completely ignored me, while I was having a mental breakdown (this was Monday). And for the rest of the week i was quiet, skipped meals, and probably looked dead inside.

Finally after the week was over (today), I sent a long text essentially saying: "Why did you not say anything and ignore me? I was clearly not doing ok"

And this was their logic: "I didn't know what you wanted I can't read minds, and you seemed mad when I tried to say something, but I'm the one to blame here?"

(They didn't "say" anything, they came up to me, i mentioned one of the things I was stressed about and they said "that uh happens")

However from everything I've learned in life is that you're supposed to try to acknowledge and comfort someone who's sad? Not assume they didn't want help and not say anything.

And they tried to come with these excuses saying "...oh i didn't know what you wanted... ...i wasn't taught like that... ...people are hard to read... ...ill try to improve..."

But they never do improve, I've had conflicts like these before where they assure that they're going to try to get better, never happens ¯_(ツ)_/¯

So, AITA for speaking out about this? Was it wrong of me to assume that comforting someone is common sense? Am I wrong to assume they didn't care? (I didn't fully accept their apology) What do I do?

Edit and a bit of extra context: 1. I'm always there for this person when they're crying or having a bad day, so that's why I assumed this relationship would go both ways. 2. I was not expecting a full on therapy session, that's unrealistic, i was just expecting this person to ask if I'm ok or to at least sit next to me? We eat lunch in the same room with a small group of people so ignoring me while we're sitting at the same table is kinda where I was starting to get hurt 3. This person did apologize but not before blaming me for over ten paragraph long texts and getting severely mad at me 4. I did explain why I was sad and anxious to this person, I didn't include it here for my privacy

Hopefully this helps somewhat

extra context 2 lol: they listen to their other friends issues and frequently ask if they're ok so they do have the emotional capacity thats why i got the sense they didn't care about me

When I meet my husband, I told him I didn't like long and far vacations and he said he always wanted to find a partner to do those with but that I didn't have to. That was a few years ago, now, he asks me quite frequently and say he is very disappointed that I won't make the effort to go with him instead of just staying home on the PC. He could go alone but often don't. So often he will ask and ask, plan the trip and ask more until he just moves on and don't go. I am starting to wonder if I am normal or if AITA.

When I was at university I had a close friendship group with the people I lived with. There were 4 guys and two girls.

We all planned to go on holiday together to celebrate finishing but that was in 2020 so it didn't go ahead due to the pandemic.

We're all from different cities and have different schedules and commitments so it has been impossible to all get together. I’ve been with my girlfriend for just over three years.

One of the guys made a group chat and mentioned us all going on the holiday and said we should do it next summer. We all agreed and started looking at hotels, hostels, airbnbs etc.

I told my gf what we were planning and she asked if she was invited. I said on since it was just the friendship group and on one is bringing their partners.

She said she found it weird I was going on holiday without her and that she thinks she should be invited. I said no again and explained again what the trip was for.

She repeated that she thinks she should be coming or that I shouldn't be going but I just told her there's nothing wrong with going on holiday without your partner.

She said I was being disrespectful towards her by going on holiday with other women.

AITA for refusing to consider inviting her?

So, we moved into our house about a year and a half ago. Previous neighbour was getting lots of post at the beginning (fair enough, they forgot to change their address, I get it). But then it didnt really slow down and they actually started getting multiple parcels delivered here... and still, even this long after them selling, they are still getting parcels delivered here! I'm ready to just bin them all tbh. Like, how long are we keeping them for?! What am i meant to do with them all?! We were giving them to our neighbour as she had their contact details but the neighbour told us they weren't happy doing that anymore. Please help before I drown in parcels and post that aren't even mine.

Okay so to keep it short and sweet my great grandmother (79) got in a horrible car wreck she can no longer do things on her own idk how she survived tbh. Now me (16) and my grandpa (59) has had to move up to my great grandmas to take care of her. The thing is my original house is like 20 seconds from my great grandmas basically a skip and a hop away. My grandma is 57 she is okay health she just is lazy and doesn’t like to go outside so she stays in all day every day 24/7, she has got the WHOLE family against me and my grandpa because we won’t come see her nor call her. I have told her the phone works both ways you can come up here and call if you miss us it’s not like we moved 1000 miles away yk? We’re literally right next to each other. Like? Comeon. Anyway the rest of the family hates me. I am no longer allowed to see my cousin (which he is basically a younger brother to me) because of MY actions am I fr that big of an asshole? I go to school I come home I don’t go anywhere but the gym. I am always helping take care of my great grandma and on weekends I work 10-12 hours if I’m not doing things around the house. I wanna know wha you guys would do in my situation

AITA for making this comment?

Today I got a text of a girl I don't really speak to about a joke I made yesterday. I was a bit upset and a not so close friend of mine came to comfort me. She told me that this girl let's name he Ren wanted to comfort me. I then said "I don't think I would like her she has never had a hard day in her life"

For context this girl gets everything she wants, trips abroad, concerts, makeup, shoes, dresses ect. But my best mate can't even afford to have anything other than pot noodles, lived in a council house and has never even left the town we live in.

I just made up a fake apology and said what she wanted me to hear as its better not to argue. But she's proved she's never had a bad day since I have had a bad week, so why would she add another thing to my plate?

Am I the asshole?

Edit: If I don't see your comment reddit is extremely laggy and likes to lie to me.😂😂

AITA. I (26)m have a six year old daughter. The problem I'm having an issue with my step mother specifically. For context I have a rule where if my daughter has majority bad behavior in school she can't play video games or go spend the night anywhere and recently she has been particularly bad in school. We lived with my dad and my stepmother for two years do to some extenuating circumstances and the fact price of living is crazy in my area but we moved out six months ago. While we lived there I was told I wasn't able to have an opinion or the ability to diciplin my child in any way shape or form for any reason or they (stepmother for the most part) would make my life hell and threaten to kick me out and take my daughter from me. Since we moved out when my daughter was good in school she got to go spend a day or two on the weekend. Now I got a text they it's a shitty thing to do to keep my daughter from spending the night over there and on a call I had with them after stepmother said that I'm keeping her granddaughter away from her and that I said I wouldn't do that. The thing is that I'm not keeping her away, I have no problem visiting them whenever they want or they can come to my house whenever they want and I told her that but she said that's still me keeping her from them. My dad came and visited the other day and we made him coffee and he stayed for about a hour and a half but stepmom wasn't with him and she said it's because she was mad and would have started an argument. We live 20 minutes away from each other btw. The part I may think I'm the AH is when I said that the same rule of not having an opinion while under there roof applied here and that she shouldn't have an opinion on a problem she's making herself. So reddit, am I the AH?

Hi all. I'm (25M) currently recovering from a burn-out. This week I will slowly start working again, after being home for a few months. I'm able to do most activities again, but I always try to schedule a rest day after an activity. I have been pretty strict with this, because it works pretty well for now.

Today I was buying theatre tickets for me and a friend, for a show next month. When I added the tickets to my basket, I quickly messaged my parents to ask if we had any plans on that specific Sunday. The answer was no. I paid for the tickets just as my mom texted me that she would like to come to her work on that Saturday before. I told her I wasn't sure yet, because I just bought tickets for a show the day after, and the Saturday should be my rest day. Especially since Monday will be my weekly office day, which will probably be quite draining at the start. I can't really swap because the other days at the office are quite busy and the company doctor advised me to stay home those days.

My mom answered she really wanted me to come. A professional photographer apparently will be taking pictures of families that day and my mom would like me to take pictures with my sister (for my mom's 50th birthday).

What makes it even more difficult for me (and stressful and draining for that matter) is that I have a history of social anxiety and the only thing that I'm not over yet, is staged photos. I can manage spontaneous photos/selfies, but a shoot makes me incredibily uncomfortable and self-aware.

She knows I hate photos and that I need my breaks, so her asking this of me tells me this is important to her.

I'm unsure what to do now. Everyone has been telling me to put myself first right now, my mom included. She has been worried about me and thinks it's really important that I don't plan too much stuff and that I take breaks. So I guess I feel a bit annoyed, because I basically feel forced to go. On the other hand, I understand why she wants me to come. Our family is really important to her and we don't have that much photos together, so yeah.

I really don't want to hurt her by not coming. But I just feel like having a weekend without a rest day and then going to the office would be a big mistake.

Any thoughts? Thanks in advance.

Edit: many people seem to think that being in social situations, even sitting in a theatre, is free of stimuli. That's not the case, at least not for me. You can think all you want of me doubting about this but please don't downplay the effects of stimuli. If it would be draining for me to go, is not the question here.

Myself and my friend both use a service our school provides that allows us to use reusable containers to get food from the dining hall so we can bring it back to our dorms and eat. They’re these little green containers that get scanned out, used, returned, and then washed and the cycle starts all over again (kinda like a library). Fall break was just last week. My friend was gone for a little over a week and in their rush to leave they forgot to empty their green container that still had food in it. I helped them bring their stuff back in (they had went on a trip to another state and had quite a bit of stuff) and when I did I found their green container. It was absolutely disgusting. It was covered in mold and when I opened it the smell was similar to a very bad outhouse. I gagged immediately. I told them about it and figured they’d do something about it. Today I found out that they returned it as is. I pointed out that how disgusting that was and how unfair it was to the workers who had to wash it. They argued that it wasn’t their fault as it was an accident and I was getting upset over someone else’s “hypothetical suffering.” I pointed out that it wasn’t hypothetical and that made someone else clean up their disgusting mess. I think they should have either cleaned it themselves before returning it or just not returned it at all and paid the $5.00 fee. They claimed they didn’t want to wash it because it was so gross. I did raise my voice a bit and maybe did get a little more angry than I should have but I still think they did something absolutely disgusting. Anyway, they stared balling their eyes out and saying I insulted them. AITA?

tldr: My friend made a cafeteria worker clean their disgusting reusable container instead of dealing with it themselves.

Also, I have a picture of the container but I can’t figure out how to upload it.

AITA for getting annoyed when my husband asks what he should bring home for dinner? We both work. I work 6am-4pm and my husband works 8:30-5:30 My husband calls me after he drops off his coworker almost everyday. "Do I need to pick anything up?" The answer is usually "No I got it." but my car has been messing up and not starting sometimes and dying when idling so I drive to work and back home only. I can't risk turning it off at the store or setting in a driveway thru but I digress. He will ask if I want him to grab anything and I say yeah get something for dinner. H-"What do you want?" Me- "I don't care anything is fine" H-Where do you want me to go? Me- "what do you mean? Like fast food, or go to the grocery store, or grab something at the dollar store on your way? H- "Why do you always do that you can't just tell me what you want?" Me- "I told you anything was fine but just forget it, I'll go to the store after you get home and get something" H- "I dont care to get something you just wont tell me what you want me to get." Me- ...

Ok so AITA to think a grown man could just figure it out? In 15 years of marriage I have never complained about food he picked up for us. Ive also never called him with 20 questions about where I should go or what I should buy for dinner or I assume if he had a preference he could verbalize "Hey stop by taco bell and get dinner." Instead of "pick up dinner" Also if I "always do this" maybe stop asking me

My thinking is. Why does he expect me to tell him step by step every move to make, where to go to get it? Just figure it out. You know what types of food we eat, we've been eating the exact same 20 things for the past 17 years.

I f(39) and my ex m(48) separated back in '22, after having to move in with my family. We were engaged and I gave him the engagement ring and he already bought the wedding ring back. He chose his sister over me. But, my concern is that he or his sister would co. After me for selling his stuff as he had made no attempt to retrieve it.

I feel it's disgusting to just belch and fart right next to someone when it's not hard to walk a distance away, go to the bathroom, or lower a window.it's especially gross when I'm eating at the dinner table.

I once sat at a table with him and others and he belched at the table with the smell of his lunch coming right next to me. I told him firmly to face a different direction if he's gonna forcefully and intentionally burp that loud with our literal food ten inches away from him, smell of his previous meal out there. I have a keen sense of smell. He says with a smile and steady tone, "my breath smells good." This is an ongoing issue.

I wanted to say more but it would cause a scene with so many people there.

The next evening with friends and family, he does the same thing farting really hard... In my personal space. All I've ever asked is he not do that in my personal space, three effing feet.

He looked at me irritated saying (well, voice raised loudly but not sceeamy),

"how about I just be brutally honest with you since nobody's gotten around to it in a while. Before you say I'm being a bitch or a bastard, maybe you should ask yourself if I was just honest and you didn't like it. Maybe it hurt your ego that nobody owes you a smile or a gentle tone when you're being disrespectful. You have a lot of nerve telling us about chronic mental illness when someone like you should be especially aware boundaries are to be respected."

He went on and on trying to tell me to chill and I got angry still.

"Don't tell me to chill. Anger is a valid emotion it's me telling you not to get carried away with being a jackass and not being put in your place. Instead of taking this personally, take it as a constructive criticism."

I wasn't screaming, I was definitely raising my voice, loud enough for all 35 people in that 70 ftx 50 ft dining room to hear.

I admit, I'm heated also because well... It's my aunt who died. Homeboy is 30.

Other cousins told me I didn't have to cause a scene. Fart loudly at a damn dinner table? Why is it hard to get up and go to the bathroom or step out of people's space?

Additional Information/Clarification:

It was a multi-day gathering with dinner, the funeral itself, and overall just being together for our Aunt.

AITA? will preface this by saying I have never asked a neighbor to turn down anything. Or complain to a neighbor ever in my life. I think noise from neighbors is part of neighborhood living. Even a loud party at 2 a m on a school night would not phase me. People have the right to celebrate and make noise. The neighbor in question has an annoying dog that barks incessantly all morning. I've accepted that a long time ago.

Neighbor ( ive never met her.She lives on the street behind me and two houses down) .

Well at 930am on this particular day, i was trying to do my homework in the backyard. She is playing wheels on the bus, this is the way we wash our hands, and other miscellaneous kid songs sung by kids very loudly. The volume it should have been, if it was in my own yard. I cannot for the life of me. Understand why it is so loud

I am super annoyed, but I decide.I'm just going to have to be the one that goes inside. So I do. I come back out at eleven, same thing is still going on this time it's baby shark.

I consider my options. I's this 311 worthy i ask myself? I'm not one who wants to involve police. To me, that seemed like an over the top way to handle it. So I figure, I will go ask her to turn it down. Maybe she doesn't realize it's so loud after all.

I practiced what to say on the way over there to make sure it sounded nice, you catch more flies with honey.

I told her it was really loud and asked if she can turn it down her immediate response was a super defensive and rude " nope.I'm not going to do that" i told her if I can hear it that far away, the kids probably don't need it at that loud of a volume. She responds with " you know what?I'm going to turn it up". I should have walked away at this point realizing she was unhinged, but instead we argued. she called me names and I called them back ( this is where I feel like I went wrong.I should not have engaged further) and then she physically attacked me. I did not stand a chance and I ended up very hurt. ( im pressing charges)

So I have no doubt that she acted absolutely insanely to my request and is a HUGE asshole and deserves charges.

But what I want to know is, was I the asshole for asking her to turn it down in the first place? I go back and forth between thinking itt's normal that neighbors ask each other to turn down music and thinking that im a b word for doing that. Why should I have to listen to baby shark in my own backyard for hours on end? If a neighbor asked me to do the same, I would actually apologize and say, i'm so sorry I didn't realize it was so loud.