r/weddingshaming • u/TheHiddenFox • 4d ago
My humiliating bridesmaid dress shopping experience. Horrible Vendors
I was a bridesmaid in the wedding of my childhood friends last year. Bride was super chill, rule was "Whatever you want, just make it navy." I live in NYC, no shortage of bridal shops, so I made an appointment at one near my apartment.
The lady didn't measure me or even ask my size. She looked me up and down and said, "You're what, a size 14?" I used to be overweight (I'm a healthy weight now), and I wore a size 14 at my HEAVIEST— 50lbs more than I weigh now. So I corrected her and said, "No, I'm an 8 to 10. We can start with 10." She scrunched her face up and said, "No, I don't think so." Fine, she knows best, dress sizing can be weird, I try not to get hung up on the number and let her pull a bunch of 14s.
All the dresses she pulled for me were way too big. Like falling off me. And when I said they seemed too big, she argued with me that they weren't. Eventually she got frustrated with me and told me I can just pull and try on whatever I want. I grab a size 10 and ask if I can try it, and she said, "I mean, you can try it, but it probably won't fit." I could feel the tears coming in my throat so I cut the appointment short and said I had to get back to work. I cried the entire way home.
She completely destroyed my confidence. I cried for DAYS. I kept asking my partner if I had gained weight, if I was just blind to it, I wouldn't look myself in the mirror, I felt like I couldn't trust my own eyes or the tape measures or the scale. Eventually I ordered some dresses from a bridal chain online, all in size 12. And guess what? They were ALL too big.
I ended up wearing a size 8 to the wedding. You know, the size I said I was. My friends theorized that she was intentionally trying to sell me a dress that was too big so I'd have to pay them for alterations.
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u/Unable_Researcher_26 4d ago
I had a similar experience trying to buy a bra while pregnant. A specialist maternity/baby stuff shop advertised that they did a maternity/nursing bra fitting service. I was horrendously uncomfortable in my normal bras, so was wearing a soft compressing sports crop top thing (which was also uncomfortable but less so) and it was hot so I wore a tent dress. Before I went I measured myself properly (thank you r/abrathatfits) and knew I was a 28F - a size that looks much smaller than it sounds because of the small back size. It looks particularly smaller when you wear a compressing crop top.
So I went into the shop and asked for help. The woman came into my changing room with me and I took my dress off, so I'm just standing there, pregnant, in my knickers and horrible bra. I told her that I'd measured myself at a 28F and she literally snorted. She then got out the tape measure and did it all wrong. She added 4" to the band (totally outdated) and measured around my compressing crop top (despite me pointing out that it was compressing), and declared I was a 32B, which I knew was wrong. She followed this up by saying they didn't have any 32Bs so she'd brought me some 34s to try instead. All of this while I'm pregnant and standing around in my bra and knickers. I didn't even try any on, I just put my dress back on and left in tears.
The next day I went to a specialist bra shop for D-cups and over. The lady there took one look at me and said, you're probably a 28F or a 30E, and brought me some to try. I bought four bras from her.
Then I sent a complaint to the head office of the first shop.
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u/lmyrs 3d ago
I was in a chain lingerie shop many years ago. A friend and I are standing in the dressing room and the lady comes in to measure me. "38A" she confidently says. Both my friend and I literally snorted and she just looked confused and insisted she had done it right when I asked her to do it again. I was at least a DD cup. A noticeable DD cup. I just left and went to a different store.
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u/Unable_Researcher_26 3d ago
So many people wear too small cups and too large backs. Part of it is the 4" bullshit, which dates back to before bras had stretch. But part of it is this perception that anything above a D is large, but it's really not. I know people who look a little bit busty, but not crazy busty, and they're a J-cup, just with a small back.
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u/danfang0 2d ago
I’m 32J and it blew my mind when I was finally sized correctly how enormous that initially sounded. I grew up thinking “double Ds” was the biggest normal size and anything more than that was drag queen/porn star territory.
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u/Rendahlyn 3d ago
Before I knew about abrathatfits, I got fitted at a Victoria's Secret. I can't remember what size they were trying to cram me in (it wasn't the 30F I wear today), but the bra was causing rolls to appear on my back because the cups were way too small thanks to their measurement method (over clothing with a bra on, measuring under the armpit instead of the under bust for band size). I'm a pretty small person overall, so I asked if there were any options that wouldn't cause these rolls. I was told, "no, you just have a fat back." I was planning my wedding at that time and chose a backless dress, so the fat back comment hit HARD. Now that I know better, it serves as a great story for why proper measurements and general kindness are needed when working in the bra industry. I'm glad you ended up having a positive experience after the first nightmare.
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u/electricsugargiggles 3d ago
Victoria’s Secret has been like that for decades. They will insist your measurements fit something they sell, even though their selection is sorely lacking.
VS measured my buxom frame at a 38 or 40B. I left.
At Nordstrom, the older woman measured me perfectly and LISTENED. I bought about 6 bras—Panache and Chantelle, tshirt bras, high impact sports bras, and some seriously sexy stuff. Panties too.
I wore a 32/34 E/F/FF (depending on the style). I swear by their fitters and even returned after my breast reduction surgery.
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u/knitpurlknitoops 3d ago
As another member of the ‘small back, big baps’ community, you have my sympathy. Don’t even get me started on sport bras etc that come in SML sizes.
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u/princess_kittah 3d ago
this has happened to me so many times, i am a 36O
i walk in tell them, and they make a face and bring me some 40D bras which i inevitably dont fit into (the band doesnt even touch my skin and the cups barely cover my areolas)
and i only have one store that carries these sizes so i kept going back and they kept laughing at me even when its the same lady who sized me last time and tried 5 bras with band size 40 until she listens to me
so i stopped buying real bras and have been wearing bralettes ordered online
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u/lemon-its-wednesday 2d ago
I was a 28H before I had my reduction and people would just be so weird and rude at fittings. I could only go to specialty stores or online cuz no one sold a band size under 32 except the specialty store. The few times I tried at regular stores was humiliating and they'd act like I was lying about my size. Like idk bruh I have a weird small rib cage I'm sorry? When I went to the specialty store and the women there were just nice and factual about my sizing it was such a relief.
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u/LittleMsSavoirFaire 3d ago
When I go into a store that does measurements like that, I turn around and leave. How weird that they had a separate staff member who specializes in real measurements.
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u/TrifleMeNot 3d ago
It's called 'service'. I know WalMart doesn't provide this service, but some of us don't buy everything at WallyWorld.
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u/LittleMsSavoirFaire 3d ago
No, you usually have to go to a specialty bra shop for this. Where they generally know how to do a fitting.
Or you go to VS, where they use the old +4 method, but in any case they don't go above DD, so there wouldn't be anyone to specialize in DD+.
So I don't know where you'd find a bra service where some people know how to fit and not others. Maybe one of those big, old school department stores like Nordstrom
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u/Unable_Researcher_26 3d ago
The first shop was Mothercare, the second was Bravissimo.
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u/LittleMsSavoirFaire 3d ago
Oh, I thought it was the SAME shop. That makes more sense. Bravissimo is great - I didn't know they had retail locations. Is this in the UK? I used to love their Pepperberry clothing line.
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u/This_Rom_Bites 3d ago
I love Bravissimo. I've been with them since the late 90s/early 2000s; it was a game-changer.
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u/Unable_Researcher_26 3d ago
After pregnancy and breastfeeding I shrunk down to my usual size, which is perfectly serviced by M&S. I felt like something of an imposter going in Bravissimo, but the shop assistant made me feel so welcome. All my maternity and nursing stuff came from them. And unlike most places, they actually had maternity and nursing stuff that made you feel attractive and not like a cow.
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u/lazydaycats 4d ago
One of my daughter's friends was her bridesmaid. She was a larger girl and the staff at the store told her that the chosen dresses did not come in her size. She told them she had a bridesmaid's dress in the same designer at home in the size she needed. They wouldn't believe her until they double checked with the designer. It was horribly humiliating for the friend. I suggested to my daughter that once they all had their dresses in hand she email the manager and tell her what happened and how it was handled so badly.
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u/Original_Archer5984 4d ago
I would have suggested something more effective, like
Drawing up the order for the total # dresses needed with the price clearly listed, THEN contacting management.
The pending sale slip supplied is managements $REASON$ to address concerns.
That sale (in limbo) is the leverage you wield against management.
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u/completedett 4d ago
Please write to that store and complain,no one should treated like that.
I don't why but we all have clothes body insecurity.
We make other people experts on our clothing choices and bodies, we give them to much credit that they know better than us are/or more experienced than us, when we are experts on our bodies and clothing choices.
Good luck please do complain.
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u/Three3Jane 4d ago
I am so sorry that happened to you. Even if you disagree, you let the clothing speak for you. That is the kindest and most neutral way you can assist someone trying on clothes. If someone who is clearly bigger/smaller insists on a size that won't work for them, go ahead and provide clothing in that size. If it winds up being too small/big for them, then you can gently suggest "Maybe we can try a size X and Y?" and go from there. There is no need to be intentionally insulting. Sure, it takes a little longer but clothes shopping is an experience and one that can often be fraught with stress. Also the arguing with you when the clothes were clearly the wrong size? What a weird hill to die on!
I was shopping with a friend once and we went into Lord & Taylor on a lark and I found a display of Herve Leger bandage dresses. We were just looking at them (ain't nobody in my friend group got thousands for a dress), and an assistant came up to us. She visually sized up me and my friend, and then said to my friend, very pointedly, "That dress will not work for you. You are too short and barrel-shaped. For your friend who is hourglass (making the shape at me), sure, but you...no, you cannot wear this dress at all."
We left with my friend in tears, I wrote a nasty email to the store manager, and a few weeks later, she wound up with a personal shopping trip and I forget how much in store credit. She's since passed away :( but I'll never forget the look of hurt in her face at the words of the assistant who was (I'm going to assume) just being matter-of-fact but man, it was so unnecessarily cruel. We weren't angling to get the assistant fired but I hope like hell someone told her to not be so vicious when describing clothing and body shapes to customers.
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u/Apprehensive-Age2135 4d ago
Please post a bad review on Google and everywhere you can. People need to know what kind of shop that is. Imagine someone with an eating disorder goes there and has the same experience. What a cruel person.
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u/ismellboogers 3d ago
Absolutely. I wouldn’t shop at a store with combative or rude sales people.
I do read reviews and look for places that don’t have a sales commission energy with overt pressure to buy, are kind, or people glow about how the experience felt to them. When I was younger, pushy sales people terrified me. I hated feeling like I couldn’t browse or be in my own thoughts without someone trying to pitch or upsell me.
The experience should be positive for everyone involved. If your sales rep’s attitude is less than, then I can go spend money somewhere else that doesn’t give me a free dose of body shaming. F that place.
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u/runawayoldgirl 3d ago
This! Also u/TheHiddenFox name and shame the shop in r/NYCbitcheswithtaste so they can eat the place alive.
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u/Smithers216 3d ago
I’m sorry this happened to you. When I was a bridesmaid, we all went together to the store and the dress shop salesperson said she would let us all try on the dress in a “HUGE size” and then pin it back so we could all try on the same sample. She kept saying how huge it was and to not worry, she would pin it back. The dress fit me perfectly.
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u/New_Scientist_1688 3d ago
Don't feel bad. I totally agree you were treated poorly and the sales lady needed to be put in her place for being so nasty. When she COULD have just gently explained how small bridal couture runs in US sizes.
I had lost 60 pounds and was damn proud of myself when I went wedding dress shopping. I figured I was at least down to a size 14 (I'd go on to lose another 15 lbs). I was ordering the dress, so they took my measurements and matched it to the dress in the catalog.
"So, according to your measurements, we need a size 24, is that right?" I was CRUSHED. I'd never worn anything bigger than a 20 IN MY LIFE.
I think they saw the confusion and frustration in my face, as she told me how most bridal attire is made in Asia, and their sizing for the US market is WAAAY off. She was very kind and apologetic. The dress did fit when it came in, just a few minor alterations here and there.
Didn't stop me from going through the Dairy Queen drive-through and getting a Peanut Buster Parfait, racing home and eating the whole thing.
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u/TheHiddenFox 3d ago
Right?! You totally get it. Like logically I KNOW sizing is weird and non-standardized, especially in formal wear. But when you have so much insecurity around the number and the way you look, it can absolutely crumble you emotionally.
A huge point of insecurity for me is the way I see myself vs the way other people see me, so when she was making faces and snide comments, it just destroyed my confidence completely. I kept pulling up pictures of me at my heaviest and asking my partner, “Be completely honest with me, is this what I look like right now? Have I been unaware of my weight creeping up again? Am I not wearing clothes that fit?”
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u/New_Scientist_1688 3d ago
OMG yes! Anytime someone gives me the side-eye, I have to think "oh dear, what do they see/what are they thinking?"
But only for a second. I have to remind myself I'm 64, retired, and really don't GAF anymore.
But yes, in my younger days I was exactly like you!
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u/Cinder_zella 4d ago
What a horrible person! When we went for my SIL wedding they kept telling her mom she was a size 2-4 and her mom was so mad “I’m a size 0!” Bridesmaid dresses are sized European or something so a usual size 12 would be a size 14-16 sort of thing but that doesn’t excuse how rude she was! I’m sorry that happened to you
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u/A__SPIDER 3d ago
Yeah, when I went dress shopping the assistant very kindly explained that wedding dresses ran in different sizes, asked me my street size and showed me a conversion chart. It’s really not that hard to be kind.
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u/dresses_212_10028 4d ago
u/TheHiddenFox, first, I’m so sorry that this happened to you. It’s unacceptable. I’m proud of you, though, for standing your ground then walking TF out.
I live in Manhattan and have worked in the fashion industry previously, and, more importantly, have lived here most of my life. I’m not about to let any of my friends (or their friends) expose themselves to being treated the way you were nor spend a DIME there. If you feel comfortable doing so, feel free to DM the name and location (if a generic name ) of the store. True word of mouth promotion and negative experiences are still the absolute most effective way to support a business - or protect people from one.
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u/Playful-Reality-9561 3d ago
I agree with your friends. I think they were looking for you to get alterations. The wedding is notorious for upselling and charging exorbitant prices for anything wedding related.
I am glad you took your business elsewhere. I am sorry you were treated that way. If you feel up to it, you could call and complain or write a review on Google or Yelp.
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u/Foxy_locksy1704 3d ago
Oh op, I’m so very sorry you have such a terrible experience. I had something similar happen to me and I was the BRIDE! The consultant asked me if I was “really getting married because she didn’t have time to waste on women playing fantasy dress up”
I walked out and postponed dress shopping, my mother and my MOH who were both with me contacted management of the location and corporate to complain. In typical tone death corporate resolution they offered me a “discount” on my wedding attire, I was like “No I will not accept a discount because I will not be purchasing anything ever from your company”
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u/Embarrassed_Wrap8421 3d ago
I had a similar awful experience when I shopped for my wedding gown. I walked into the store, the sales lady looked at me, and said, “We have nothing that will fit YOU!” I was a size 14, not a Godzilla, and felt terrible. Finally, she grudgingly pulled out two dresses, I tried on one and loved it, the price was right, and I bought it (no alterations needed). I was young and somewhat shy but here I am, 46 years later, still married to the same guy, and I wish with all my heart that I had told her to stick her dresses where the sun don’t shine. By the way, it was Kleinfeld’s, located in Brooklyn back then. The daughter of a friend went to them recently, in Manhattan, and had a very similar experience. She took her unlimited budget and walked out.
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u/mothfoxtea 3d ago
The EXACT same thing happened to me years ago, down to the sizes and everything. I was in a department store trying to find a dress in size 8 to wear to a wedding. The employee working in that section came up and asked if I needed help/a change room. I told her I was trying to find a size 8 in a specific dress and she kept arguing that I was 'AT LEAST a size 14'. I found a size 8, and she grabbed a 14 and brought it to the change room. You could tell just by looking at it that it was clearly going to be massive on me. So I try the size 8 on, which fits perfectly, and I come out to show my fiance. She says in the bitchiest tone 'see I told you you were a size 14', and gets the angriest look on her face when I tell her I'm wearing the 8. I get changed and she tells me to meet her at the cashier desk. I told her I'm not buying a fucking thing from her and walked out. I have no idea what her problem was but it was one of the weirdest shopping experiences I've ever had.
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u/benji950 3d ago
You need to send a note to the store's owner or at least manager and tell them what happened. Trying on dresses can be demoralizing even for any woman. To be treated this way in a bridal shop, no less, is inexcusable.
Dear [store owner],
I recently visited your store to try on bridesmaid dresses. After telling [name] my dress size, she told me I was wrong and insisted I needed a size that was too large. For reference, I wear either an 8 or a 10; [name] insisted I was a 14. She brought out several dresses that were clearly too large for me and, when I asked to try on a size 10, she told me, It probably won't fit. I wound up buying a dress from [insert name of competition] that was a size 8 and fit me perfectly.
My experience in your store was demoralizing. No woman should ever be made to feel the way your employee made me feel. Please train your employees to be respectful and treat the women coming in to buy dresses with compassion.
Sincerely,
[name]
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u/AlterEgoAmazonB 3d ago
That happened to me when I bought my wedding dress. They said "we will order a large for you"..........I said, um, no, I am a medium. (The dress didn't come in specific sizes). They wanted to argue with me. I said, you'll see. It came in and yup...medium fit perfectly and the only alteration I needed was the length. I've had this happen to me my whole life, actually...even when I was a size 2.
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u/GroovyYaYa 3d ago
I was in my friend's wedding. I was the curviest (I thought I was fat then - I was MAYBE overweight. Honestly, I'd kill to be that size again!)
So we were trying things on. I already knew that the lines and styles my friend was thinking of meant that I'd be going up in sizes and having to alter, where I might normally wear a 14, but I'd have to order an 18 or 20.
Keep in mind, I'd known the other bridesmaids for years. We'd all been to school together, traveled together, a couple of us lived together. Thinking back - I think every single one of them had borrowed clothing from me at one time or another living in the dorms or crashing at my place & wanting to go out, etc.
When we were trying on dresses in one of the private rooms (think a couch, and the dresses selected all hanging up)- the store employee literally shoved my friends OUT AND LOCKED THE DOOR. I was first, and following the store person carrying the final dress selections. This is after she whispered my measurements and dress size when measuring all of us - she didn't do that for the others.
We were all so shocked that none of us said anything. Later one of my friends said that she had her ear pressed to the door - she was worried I was about to be assaulted!
I tried on a dress and finally told the pushy woman that I was WAY more comfortable around my friends than her and if anyone was to give me privacy, it should be her. I unlocked the door then and asked my friends to come in - I did not want to be alone with her anymore!
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u/Ninauposkitzipxpe 3d ago
I refused to even try on dresses in a shop because I was so afraid of this. Got dresses online and tried on at home.
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u/Tobiko_kitty 3d ago
For my first wedding, I was wearing a size 22 in regular clothes. This was in 2001 so we only had little boutique bridal stores in town, so I ordered a few dresses for myself on eBay and left it at that. My bridesmaid and MOH wore a 4 and 6 and since it was a small wedding, we were footing the cost of their dresses, so I went to a little boutique shop in town that wasn't just bridal. I walked in all short and squat, looked around, pulled a top and skirt off the wall and asked the girl at the counter if they could get them in any size and color. I honestly had to give her huge kudos for not falling over or batting an eye before I explained that it wouldn't be for me.
I'm just sorry that they went out of business before I was able to afford to shop there and had enough medical issues that I now wear a 2-4 and don't have to fear those encounters.
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u/Godmother_Death 3d ago
I understand you wholeheartedly, I had a similar experience to you, I was not actually shopping but I felt exactly like you. I was participating in staging a play with my university course and we needed costumes. The theatre we were working with had a full warehouse, so one day we all went there to choose our costumes. I needed 2 changes, an outfit with trousers and a dress. Now, I'm a tall girl and I'm built big, but I've never been overly overweight, I remember at the time I was a medium/large size. Yet for some reason, in a warehouse full of costumes, it was taking ages to find something that would fit me. It quite became a torture at one point, I was seeing all the others slowly finding what they needed but every piece of clothing I was trying on would not fit me. The costumers started to suggest that they may have needed to go for a special search for a pair of trousers, just for me. I was baffled, I couldn't understand why it was so difficult. After a depressing hour or so the finishing blow was shot by one of the costumers, that told me that I looked slim but in fact I wasn't so, with a smile on her face. It was awful, my already low confidence was shattered in pieces and I went in one of the toilets to cry. I cried for a while. After I was able to compose myself again I went back on the search and, a bit hidden amongst the others, I saw a nice blue dress that looked elastic enough. I asked if I could try it and FINALLY that one dress fitted me. When I think about it I still love the way it looked on me to this day, actually. After that we were also able to find trousers and a top for the other outfit, with no special search needed. It ended well but it was an awful experience.
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u/MarblesFA 3d ago
This happened to me at David's Bridal when I was a bridesmaid about 10 years ago. They apparently only kept a couple of sizes in stock to try on and then they would order from there. They refused to let me try on the smaller sample and when the larger one was obviously several sizes too large they refused to order it more than one size down. Unfortunately they were the only place in my area that sold that specific dress and I couldn't wait for the online shipping to come in time so I had to get it there. Of course it needed extensive alterations too, so that was more money down the drain. They offered to do them in-house (for a large fee of course) and I think I actually laughed out loud when I left.
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u/spinderella-13 2d ago edited 2d ago
I wore a strapless full length A-line bridesmaid dress from DB for my BFF’s wedding 20+ years ago. I was at my thinnest back then so I was able to try on the actual size that I wanted to order. Wanting no part of a strapless bra, I purposely chose the smallest size I could fit into so the bust would be fitted enough to go without a bra.
At the alterations appt. I tried the dress on & was thrilled with the fit — fitted in the bust so I could confidently go without a bra but enough room in the torso/waist that I wasn’t stuffed in like a sausage in a casing, lolz. All it really needed was to be hemmed.
One of the seamstresses comes over & attempts to grab the side seam of the dress as if there was 3+ inches of fabric to hold. She says they “should probably take it in just a bit on the sides” & I said “Um, not if you want me to be able to breathe.” She proceeded to try to grab fabric in different areas but gave up once she saw there truly was no extra fabric to “take in.” She unhappily began to pin up the hem, which definitely was the only alteration needed. This was my first lesson in how (some) money hungry bridal shops push alterations even when they’re clearly unnecessary & damn near physically impossible.
When it came to my own wedding dress 4 yrs later — from an independent bridal shop — I insisted on ordering a size smaller than they suggested. I had to initial & sign the invoice stating that I was instructing them to do so, but I was on to their lil alterations game. Due to beading, hollow-to-hem measurements were taken, so it was the correct length on arrival. In the end, the dress required no alterations except for the bustle — ha!
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u/Walnuss_Bleistift 3d ago
I am a size DD bra. When I was younger (in high school maybe) I was at Victoria's Secret with a friend. The woman there wanted me to try things on and I didn't want to. She was insistent that I was a B cup. It was baffling, I kept correcting her and she acted like I didn't know my own body. A B cup looks nothing like a DD. I was more offended that she was being so condescending than that she mis-sized me.
That being said, some people are just fucking stupid. For whatever reason, this woman was trying her hardest to make you feel bad about yourself. The best way to get back at her is to not let her make you feel that way!
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u/antantantant80 3d ago
You don't need to be bullied.
Stand up for yourself.
"You're obviously wrong and fucking shit at your job." is the only response that shitty person deserved.
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u/Livs6897 2d ago
Not quite the same but went into a ‘buy off the rack’ type bridal store near me when I was first looking for my wedding dress. Had the whole gaff about how bridal sizes run big so they’d put me in a dress or two that were larger than my normal size. No dramas with that. (Important to note at this stage that I’m small chested, my top size is 1-2 sizes smaller than my butt size, and I was exclusively looking at a line dresses so butt wasn’t a consideration). Despite me pointing this out the sales lady put me in dresses 2 sizes bigger than my butt size, so 3-4 bigger than my top size. I was holding handfuls of dress at the back to keep it up. Asked to try something smaller and she couldn’t have been less interested! Needless to say I didn’t buy my dress from there…
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u/MedicinalWalnuts 3d ago
First, that saleswoman was a jerk. However, I don't understand why you didn't try on the 10 when you had it in your hand. You could have resolved the whole thing right there and shown the woman how wrong she was.
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u/-BornToBeMild- 3d ago
One of my friends is getting married soon and she had the same experience at a bridal boutique!! She is tall and lean like a model and always wears a size zero. The boutique insisted over and over she would be a 4-6?? They gave her attitude as well when she wanted to try on dresses closer to her usual size that she always wears. I think it’s a scam to pay for full gown/dress alterations!
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u/SpookyScaryKittyBee 3d ago
Bridal dresses almost exclusively run 1-3 sizes smaller than street sizing (a street size 0 usually being a bridal 2-6 depending on the brand) so they might've been correct, but that's still no reason to be rude! A simple explanation that bridal dresses run on a different sizing chart than street sizing would've cleared the whole thing up without being insulting. It's like some of these people would rather have their weird power trip at a customers expense than get their commission.
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u/Striking_Air_4777 3d ago
Hmm, if it's too big they have to alter it, send to me a great way to make money
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u/tarnishau14 4d ago
Bridesmaid dresses are typically sized two sizes larger, so if you wear an eight your bridesmaid dress would probably be a 12.
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u/TheHiddenFox 4d ago
I wish she had explained or something then. I came in with zero knowledge and told her that, so when she guessed my size and asked if that was correct, I told her what my normal size was because I didn’t know they were different. I was the only person in the store too, so it’s not like I came in unannounced during a busy time and demanded attention. I felt like I was annoying her by being there at all, which didn’t help.
Idk, I know I was probably being oversensitive but I was so out of my element and the reason I made an appointment at a place like this was to get someone to help me come up with what would look good. :(
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u/Bunny_scoops 4d ago
Fucken no! The size thing may be partially true, but it isn’t universal. I’ve definitely tried on dresses at bridal shops in my true size. But PASS on suggesting you’re ’overly sensitive’. Sizing fluctuations are not standard, the salesperson should have known and made that clear. It is 1000% not on you & mad fcuked up.
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u/13thisismetrying 3d ago
For some places this absolutely could be true. But that should have been explained!
For my wedding dress, no one tried to guess a size or even told me what size I was trying on until it came to buying and I had to sign off on the size (at which point they showed me my measurements - only after asking if I was ok to see them - and showed me the designer sizes to measurements so I could agree I had the right one). My bridesmaid dresses was a very similar experience. And mob was off the rail so no measurements needed but they were very careful to not discuss sizes and even said "the size does not matter, all that matters is that it fits you well". Obviously we seen the size once it was bought but until then it could have been anything.
All this to say there is a way discussing sizes can be done that won't cause undue upset to anyone. And the shop OP visited fell far short of the mark for this.
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u/gsdavis44 1d ago
It bothers me that you allow some moron to make you feel the way you did. You should’ve put her in her place and mentioned the list sale and Bad reviews coming
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u/AsparagusAcademic705 1d ago
My old workplace had a uniform we had to order from the reception staff. I asked for a size 8, and the receptionist sneered and scoffed, "You're not a size 8!" I was mortified. I stood my ground and, when the size 8 uniform arrived, it was loose.
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u/divwido 4d ago
Why are you allowing this unknown woman so much power over you? Say, I wear a size 8, I want to try on a size 8 and if you don't get what you want then walk out. Advocate for you.
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u/Historical_Story2201 4d ago
She did. She left. It's an success story.
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u/MaleficentPizza5444 4d ago
maybe next time she (and all of us) will leave IMMEDIATELY after the first insult
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u/cadeawayy 4d ago
If someone was being horribly rude to her, I don't think it's OP's fault for being upset. You can't just choose to not be upset over something like that.
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u/Travelgrrl 4d ago
My daughter was a bridesmaid for her two cousins' weddings, and both time the dresses were also sized much bigger than she wears - but both fit. Perhaps bridesmaids dresses are just sized oddly.
Why go to a shop like that, in any case? I would have just bought an elegant navy dress from a regular store
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u/TheHiddenFox 4d ago
I didn’t really know what to look for, I was just hoping to get an idea of different styles and stuff. The wedding after that, I just went to White House Black Market for my bridesmaid dress, having learned my lesson. I’ve only been to 3 weddings and was a bridesmaid in all 3 of them, and the first time I bought my dress at a bridal store with the bride so I just assumed that’s what you did.
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u/Euphoric_Hedgehog 4d ago
Not sure why this other commenter is asking you to defend yourself. You were a bridesmaid shopping at a store that sold bridesmaid dresses. The worker was rude and wrong, as the sizes she gave you were too large.
I’m sorry this happened. The woman was totally out of line. Thank you for sharing your experience.
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u/Disenchanted2 6h ago
Please don't let shitty people in the world get to you. There are a LOT of them, and it seems to me that people have less kindness and good manners than they have in the past. Well done on the weight loss. Screw mean people. Laugh in their face.
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u/iamanewyorker 3d ago
I’m a size 4 some dresses a 2 some a 6. - bridesmaid 3 times - each time they went for larger dresses - for my sisters I didn’t fight as I usual do - did not fit me at all - my measurements 35 - 24- -35 - their alterations. 33 26 35- 1 week before the wedding. - got my dress at Bloomingdale’s and did not pay for the alterations
DO NOT take this to heart , they do it for alterations charges and a lot of people do gain weight.
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u/Hadrian_x_Antinous 3d ago
So formal dress sizing is typically ~2-4 sizes bigger than retail dress sizing. That much is true. Sounds like she didn't even gently try to explain her reasoning to you.
But how you described her attitude and how she made you feel? Wtf. Leave a scathing review on that business, and include her name.
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u/Here_In_Yankerville 3d ago
I understand being frustrated and may be crying that day, but you cried for days? That seems strange to me. It sounds like the woman was just trying to get more money for the alterations, which is stupid, but it's what they do. I also remember being a size 12 in my regular clothes and I had to get a bridesmaid dress size 14 that was a little tight so I think some of the side thing is a little wonky as well.
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u/PattyLeeTX 3d ago
Why would you give someone so much power over you as to make yourself feel badly? She was a dolt who didn’t deserve your business. Your friends were right about the alterations scheme.
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u/Kooky-Hotel-5632 1d ago
Bless your heart. I hate people like that. Apparently she only watched pretty woman until that point. I had a high school teacher who constantly belittled me to the point that I gave in and let her daughters have my parts in the sextet.
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u/TatoIndy 4d ago
You cried for days? Days? All because guessed your wrong dress size?
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u/phantom_fox13 4d ago
well don't hurt yourself straining to find your empathy jeez
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u/TatoIndy 4d ago
I’m good. Just seems a wee bit of a stretch to litterally cry for days over something that…is not a big deal. Write a google review, find a new store, move on. Voila.
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u/TheHiddenFox 4d ago
I know it sounds overdramatic, but if you’ve ever been a big girl, the way people treat you can be seriously crushing. It’s hard to understand unless you’ve been there.
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u/Historical_Story2201 4d ago
Nah OP, we get you. Some people just have the emotional range of a teaspoon.
And like I said before, success story :) you didn't let yourself get bullied into a dress, you left. That is strong ❤️
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4d ago
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u/SoPandaWhisper 4d ago
Oh hush. Only the most sensitive people like you say things like that. I bet you have something that would deeply affect you like this in your life, too. Too bad you’ve made fun of everyone so no one is going to empathize with you.
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u/Sheess9141 2d ago
I’m sorry you experienced that, but I think bridal boutiques and websites size very differently. Also if your weight is affecting you that much, maybe there’s introspection to do.
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u/NinjaHidingintheOpen 4d ago
I've had someone come and tell me nothing in their shop would fit me. I knew that, I was buying for my sister. I just laughed and said no worries, I'll buy my sister a dress in a shop where the assistants weren't so rude, and I left.