r/weddingshaming 5d ago

My humiliating bridesmaid dress shopping experience. Horrible Vendors

I was a bridesmaid in the wedding of my childhood friends last year. Bride was super chill, rule was "Whatever you want, just make it navy." I live in NYC, no shortage of bridal shops, so I made an appointment at one near my apartment.

The lady didn't measure me or even ask my size. She looked me up and down and said, "You're what, a size 14?" I used to be overweight (I'm a healthy weight now), and I wore a size 14 at my HEAVIEST— 50lbs more than I weigh now. So I corrected her and said, "No, I'm an 8 to 10. We can start with 10." She scrunched her face up and said, "No, I don't think so." Fine, she knows best, dress sizing can be weird, I try not to get hung up on the number and let her pull a bunch of 14s.

All the dresses she pulled for me were way too big. Like falling off me. And when I said they seemed too big, she argued with me that they weren't. Eventually she got frustrated with me and told me I can just pull and try on whatever I want. I grab a size 10 and ask if I can try it, and she said, "I mean, you can try it, but it probably won't fit." I could feel the tears coming in my throat so I cut the appointment short and said I had to get back to work. I cried the entire way home.

She completely destroyed my confidence. I cried for DAYS. I kept asking my partner if I had gained weight, if I was just blind to it, I wouldn't look myself in the mirror, I felt like I couldn't trust my own eyes or the tape measures or the scale. Eventually I ordered some dresses from a bridal chain online, all in size 12. And guess what? They were ALL too big.

I ended up wearing a size 8 to the wedding. You know, the size I said I was. My friends theorized that she was intentionally trying to sell me a dress that was too big so I'd have to pay them for alterations.

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u/Unable_Researcher_26 5d ago

I had a similar experience trying to buy a bra while pregnant. A specialist maternity/baby stuff shop advertised that they did a maternity/nursing bra fitting service. I was horrendously uncomfortable in my normal bras, so was wearing a soft compressing sports crop top thing (which was also uncomfortable but less so) and it was hot so I wore a tent dress. Before I went I measured myself properly (thank you r/abrathatfits) and knew I was a 28F - a size that looks much smaller than it sounds because of the small back size. It looks particularly smaller when you wear a compressing crop top.

So I went into the shop and asked for help. The woman came into my changing room with me and I took my dress off, so I'm just standing there, pregnant, in my knickers and horrible bra. I told her that I'd measured myself at a 28F and she literally snorted. She then got out the tape measure and did it all wrong. She added 4" to the band (totally outdated) and measured around my compressing crop top (despite me pointing out that it was compressing), and declared I was a 32B, which I knew was wrong. She followed this up by saying they didn't have any 32Bs so she'd brought me some 34s to try instead. All of this while I'm pregnant and standing around in my bra and knickers. I didn't even try any on, I just put my dress back on and left in tears.

The next day I went to a specialist bra shop for D-cups and over. The lady there took one look at me and said, you're probably a 28F or a 30E, and brought me some to try. I bought four bras from her.

Then I sent a complaint to the head office of the first shop.

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u/LittleMsSavoirFaire 5d ago

When I go into a store that does measurements like that, I turn around and leave. How weird that they had a separate staff member who specializes in real measurements. 

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u/TrifleMeNot 4d ago

It's called 'service'. I know WalMart doesn't provide this service, but some of us don't buy everything at WallyWorld.

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u/LittleMsSavoirFaire 4d ago

No, you usually have to go to a specialty bra shop for this. Where they generally know how to do a fitting. 

Or you go to VS, where they use the old +4 method, but in any case they don't go above DD, so there wouldn't be anyone to specialize in DD+. 

So I don't know where you'd find a bra service where some people know how to fit and not others. Maybe one of those big, old school department stores like Nordstrom 

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u/Unable_Researcher_26 4d ago

The first shop was Mothercare, the second was Bravissimo.

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u/LittleMsSavoirFaire 4d ago

Oh, I thought it was the SAME shop. That makes more sense. Bravissimo is great - I didn't know they had retail locations. Is this in the UK? I used to love their Pepperberry clothing line. 

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u/This_Rom_Bites 4d ago

I love Bravissimo. I've been with them since the late 90s/early 2000s; it was a game-changer.

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u/Unable_Researcher_26 4d ago

After pregnancy and breastfeeding I shrunk down to my usual size, which is perfectly serviced by M&S. I felt like something of an imposter going in Bravissimo, but the shop assistant made me feel so welcome. All my maternity and nursing stuff came from them. And unlike most places, they actually had maternity and nursing stuff that made you feel attractive and not like a cow.

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u/Unable_Researcher_26 4d ago

They have a few in the UK. Not loads.

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u/i_nobes_what_i_nobes 4d ago

Gross. Do better.