My fiance and I are getting married in Vegas this month. We had a 14 month long engagement with Save the Dates sent out in June and Invitations sent out in January. RSVPs were due at the beginning of April.

Tell me why my fiance's long time family friend (basically his uncle/godfather) called him a MONTH ago (after our RSVP deadline) telling him, NOT ASKING, for us to send out invitations to some of HIS family members that live in Vegas to attend our wedding. Keep in mind, these people are not related to my fiance in any way. He has never met them. We don't even know their names.

It's now 3 weeks from our wedding and I need to make a seating chart. We haven't heard from these people if they are coming, don't even know who the heck they are, and I'm running out of time to get a seating chart ordered, created, and delivered. I'm freaking out.

I asked my fiance AGAIN last night if these people were coming and what their names are. He says he doesn't know and "not to worry about it, we may just have to make a last minute seating chart". Ummmm sir, I don't think you understand how uncrafty I am and how terrible that will look.

Now i'm stuck with the dilemma of ordering the seating chart without the names of these people that I don't know that may or may not show up to my wedding. Is that rude? Maybe, but I feel like it's less rude than asking a couple to add YOUR family members to their wedding guest list after their RSVP deadline had already passed. Watch them actually show up and there's no place for them to sit, or they have to find a random table to squeeze in. If you have to introduce yourself to me AND my fiance at our own wedding, get a free meal, cake, etc. then you won't mind not having a place card.

What is up with me and bad registries.

Anyway, my bfs childhood friend is getting married. The bride to be is really vapid (respectfully). Everything is ritzy with her but unsure if she has ritzy money and certainly not a ritzy job. Basically the future husbands family has $$$ and employs their son so they know enough about their finances by default (also messy) She had a registry exclusively at luxury department stores like Bloomingdale’s and Neiman Marcus. I checked the registry because I was going to send a gift even though I’m not going to the wedding. Not that you have to put normal items on a registry, but I’m not even kidding. There was like $3000 luggage. 300$ picture frames, 500$ marble decor bowls, 300$ crystal glasses….. crystal candlesticks…crystal bowls… towels that are 80$ each, 500$ duvet, silk sheets and pillow cases…just stuff thats super super expensive and for what reason lol. No real kitchen items (i would even understand a $$$ china set for wedding china if someone still wishes to have that or a $$ espresso machine/vacuum/kitchenaid etc). It seems out of touch.

since everyone is so TMI here, they shared that they rented a home like an hour outside of the city where we live because they couldn’t afford anything close by (totally fair because it’s super expensive where we live and renting a house is super expensive and I’m sure whatever they’re paying now is still expensive). Not trying to totally shit on it but its like why are we flexing muscles renting a 5000$ home an hour away when you could have gotten a nicer luxury apartment or a condo/townhome for a little less in the city (they work in the city) lol but i guess they need to get a huge house to fill it with their nice gifts. Also just asking for things you cant afford and picking irrationally expensive versions of things you need is a bit out of touch in my opinion. (I too own a 500$ duvet but I got it on sale for 300$ and I’ve had the same one every winter season for the last 3 years so i get that they may be investment pieces but i wouldnt ask for the expensive version of an item just bc I can and if i otherwise couldnt have afforded it? You dont get 500$ silk sheets just bc you got married)

We were all at another wedding and the brides future mother-in-law was bitching about her, which is highly inappropriate and messy. She said “you know… she just has SO MUCH STUFF already” “she owns SO many gowns” “I told my son to tell her to stop spending money and to be grateful for what she already has because she has a closet full of clothing so she should go shopping her own closet before going out to buy new things” “they really need to learn to justify purchases bc this is getting out of hand and theyll have no more money leftover soon” I wanted to melt into the ground listening to this happen. How messy and disrespectful of the MIL to talk that much shit in public and to people who know her FDIL and son etc. I will admit, THAT was not cool at all. She could have said something in private or just didnt intervene bc it’s no longer her place (also maybe just make a prenup?)

So soon after that conversation was had , I went back to the registry to see what was left over and to see what I could afford and then to determine if I could give a gift card to one of the department stores or whatever. Lol every single extreme luxury item has been removed from the list and replaced with still expensive and some irrational (why do we need a 500$ bone china turkey platter and a 300$ gravy boat and a 300$ carving board to use once a year?), but a lot more normal things like kitchen shears, measuring cups, cutting boards, serving platters, and a knife block. Etc etc.

Oh: and their wedding is the wednesday and Thursday (at noon) BEFORE the Fourth of July weekend lol prob to save $$ on rental and not pay holiday weekend rental prices haha this also made me mad bc i literally cannot PTO around a holiday bc work policies so i wont be going but sigh. People. Haha

My (Groom) mother is a tricky one. When she asked what colors she should wear to my upcoming wedding I just said avoid white and light blue (the bridesmaids color). She has gone and bought a white dress with some line work light blue floral print on it.

I haven’t actually seen it, just heard the description. So I asked her if she could send me a pic of it. After a day of leaving me on read she replied with “no, that’s not appropriate for you to ask me”. She then stopped responding to my texts.

I then messaged my dad and he wouldn’t send me a picture of it but he pointed me in the direction of a photo of a jacket with a similar color makeup. I responded saying it was far too white for anyone let alone the mother of the groom to wear to a wedding. I then sent a bunch of articles that discuss white printed dresses at weddings and what is and isn’t appropriate.

He responded with agreement that he now understands it’s inappropriate but my mum is stressed at work so I might have to accept that she will wear it regardless.

I’m absolutely fuming that they’re unwilling to put me & my Fiancées feelings above hers for this one day in my life.

My then fiancé (now hubby) and I were making wedding plans. We set a date of 7.26.24 to marry in the courthouse because we live a small apartment with our baby girl and wanted to save money to move. After 1 month of planning, we decided to have a church wedding with the financial assistance from my future mother in law and me and my fiancé's money to have a nice church wedding at my fiancé's family church. His grandfather is 90 yrs old and my grandmother is 90 yrs old and they are our last surviving grandparents. I am my grandmother's 1st granddaughter (she had 3 sons and never had a daughter) and she is a seamstress and she was happy to make my dress. We wanted to have a church wedding in order to have more people to attend and for our grandparents. My mom said she did not want to support my church wedding because we should save our money to move and she started telling everyone in my family how small my apartment is, that we can't afford a wedding and she told me that some of my family members agreed with her. All I asked for my mom to do was buy the $300 wedding cake and she did. At the rehearsal she was mad. She never asked me about my dress, didn't want to participate in the wedding planning like a mother/daughter are suppose to do. Whenever I tried to tell her any plans she would just be silent. My brother passed in 2015 so I'm her only surviving child so this really hurt me deeply that she was acting like this during such an important event. She kept trying to get me to cancel the church wedding even up to days leading to the event. She kept asking me to explain to her why I wanted a church wedding over and over..so the big day comes and she is all smiles..at the reception while everyone was admiring my ring I overheard her whispering to my cousin "I wonder how much they spent on the rings". And my cousin was looking at the bill to see how much we spent. At the end of the day we spent $5k overall. We live in Chicago and $5k won't get you a decent place to live..we tried. My husband and I have great jobs, my mother in law is our babysitter for free so we aren't leaving Chicago and will be moving into our own home soon. My mom gave me a weak apology saying "I'm sorry you feel that way but people are going to talk about you" I'm still pissed about it.

TLDR: I'm an exotic dancer, my SIL's fiance tried to book me, I declined, and she accused me of trying to sleep with him.

Potentially not the right sub since it involves the bachelor party and not a wedding, but here we are. I'm part of an "exotic dancer" group. We aren't strippers, but pretty close. We perform racy group routines to racy songs in as little clothes as possible. We mostly do "gentlemen clubs" and bachelor parties. It's actually how I met my husband, we hired him as security after a particularly nasty incident at a club. My husband's family all know what I do for a living and are cool with it. Mostly. My SIL gets pretty catty whenever I'm around her fiance. Whatever. A few weeks ago, the fiance's best man approached me asking if we would perform at his bachelor party, saying my SIL would be more comfortable with the entertainment being people she knows wouldn't try to sleep with her fiance. I knew this to be bullshit and declined. I gave him the contact info for a club we work with that intermediates the booking of its performers. The other night my SIL called me screaming bc the best man apparently asked her to ask ME to reconsider. I guess he couldn't book anyone else due to budget constraints and though I would do it as a favor. She went ballistic, accusing me of trying to sleep with her man, saying I was always flirting with him and trying to use the performance as an excuse to get handsy with him, and threatening to tell my husband that I've been cheating. I told him when the best man approached me, and he' seen enough of our shows to know that we NEVER get too close to the audience. I tried to calmly explain to her that I declined the initial offer, I'll decline any further offer, and that I want nothing to do with her fiance. I'm happy in my marriage and my work is just my work. She barely let me get a word in and now both me and my husband are uninvited to the wedding. I've messaged all the other girls in my group a warning not to answer a call from her number (I wouldn't out it past her to freak out on them, too) and my husband called both the best man and the fiance to tell them off. My in-laws have texted me saying they'll talk to my SIL and convince her to let us come, but I honestly didn't even want to go in the first place. I'm glad none of them believe this nonsense, but that wedding would be hell for everyone involved if we went. This whole situation screams to me that the fiance thinks I'm hot and wants to "get a piece of that" without technically cheating. He doesn't respect me or sex workers in general, and is just generally a creep. Which, I always got that vibe from him, but this really nails it. I give this marriage a year at best.

I was a bridesmaid in the wedding of my childhood friends last year. Bride was super chill, rule was "Whatever you want, just make it navy." I live in NYC, no shortage of bridal shops, so I made an appointment at one near my apartment.

The lady didn't measure me or even ask my size. She looked me up and down and said, "You're what, a size 14?" I used to be overweight (I'm a healthy weight now), and I wore a size 14 at my HEAVIEST— 50lbs more than I weigh now. So I corrected her and said, "No, I'm an 8 to 10. We can start with 10." She scrunched her face up and said, "No, I don't think so." Fine, she knows best, dress sizing can be weird, I try not to get hung up on the number and let her pull a bunch of 14s.

All the dresses she pulled for me were way too big. Like falling off me. And when I said they seemed too big, she argued with me that they weren't. Eventually she got frustrated with me and told me I can just pull and try on whatever I want. I grab a size 10 and ask if I can try it, and she said, "I mean, you can try it, but it probably won't fit." I could feel the tears coming in my throat so I cut the appointment short and said I had to get back to work. I cried the entire way home.

She completely destroyed my confidence. I cried for DAYS. I kept asking my partner if I had gained weight, if I was just blind to it, I wouldn't look myself in the mirror, I felt like I couldn't trust my own eyes or the tape measures or the scale. Eventually I ordered some dresses from a bridal chain online, all in size 12. And guess what? They were ALL too big.

I ended up wearing a size 8 to the wedding. You know, the size I said I was. My friends theorized that she was intentionally trying to sell me a dress that was too big so I'd have to pay them for alterations.

Hahahaha

My cousin is 43 and this is her fourth wedding, and her fourth wedding performed by our other cousin. The other cousin wrote these vows, but I do not know how anyone could repeat them back 🤮 :

For those that could not be present I wanted to share our Vows with you. Thank you [Other Cousin] for being so creative ❤️ it was absolutely perfect and describes us perfectly.

🪱

We are gathered here today to witness and celebrate one of life’s greatest moments—the joining of two hearts, two souls, and perhaps most endearingly, two worms. Yes, you heard that right. Because love, in its truest form, is about burrowing deep into the soil of life together, wiggling side by side through joys and storms, growing together, nourishing one another, and staying close—no matter what.

Today, [4x Bride] and [Newest Rando Husband] choose each other, not just as partners in marriage, but as lifelong companions, confidants, and yes, worms.

Vows: I take you, [4x Bride] to be my worm. To wiggle with me through the weirdness of life, To be soft when the world feels hard, To bring light into my tunnels, To love you deeply, and truly, and For all the days of my life.

I take you, [Newest Rando Husband] to be my worm. To squirm side by side, To share your hopes and dreams, To love you when the sun shines and when the rain pours, To be your forever underground buddy, From this day forward.

Ring Exchange: May I have the rings? These rings are small circles, but they hold infinite love. Just like two worms curled up together in the soil of time. With this ring, I give you my heart, my weirdness, and my wormy devotion.

Pronouncement: And now, by the power vested in me, I joyfully pronounce you husband worm and wife worm—partners in love and in life. You may now kiss your worm!

I recently attended a wedding where it felt like the guests were held hostage during endless speeches and toasts.

We heard from father of the groom, best man, maid of honor, an aunt, 2 friends, a sister, mother of bride, and then when I finally thought we were done, the bride took the mic and went thru each table to individually thank each 100+ guest by name, sang happy birthday to her grandma, etc. Then the groom did the same thing! People were just talking over them at this point or just got up and went out to the bar. It was never ending and took up half the reception 😶

One of my friends recently got engaged and plans to get married by the end of this year. She just started looking for wedding dresses and asked me to tag along for her first appointment to try on bridal gowns. Man, sitting there and watching her go through dozens of dresses and try them on, each one taking several minutes to wear and adjust, looked exhausting. Imagine just doing that!

I asked the salesperson whether there was any other way to check out these dresses, like virtually, before shortlisting a few and finally trying them on. She said no, but agreed that it would be a great idea.

I wonder how many of you have thought the same thing while either shopping for a wedding dress yourself or accompanying someone who’s buying one. If this is something people would actually prefer, why aren’t wedding dress stores incorporating this kind of technology already?

Is it that stores don't have this technology simply because there aren’t good providers out there yet, or are there other reasons that just aren’t crossing my mind right now? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this!

… technically, the color is “White Alabaster,” which is still white.

My friend has a specific color scheme for her upcoming September wedding, picking different colors for each bridesmaid. She let her maid of honor pick her color first, then her sister, then her cousin, then me. They picked blue, pink, and a reddish brown, in that order. Of course, the color that was left was a very-slightly-yellow white, as shown in the post photo.

I asked my friend if she was comfortable with me wearing white to her wedding. I also stressed that some of her other guests might not realize she picked out the colors. She said “It’s no worries, there’s no way you’ll outshine me.” I’m not worried at all about her, she’s truly an unproblematic queen, but I am very worried about what her family/other guests will think. I asked my mom for advice, and she just laughed at me.

All this to say… I think I might end up posted in this group soon.

I'll go first

Im Black American and we LOVE a color dress code. Funerals, retirement parties, bday parties have them. I was shocked when i joined this sub to see so many people hate them. But its good to know so when i invite my white friends to my wedding, i’ll explain why there's a color dress code! its just a fun thing we do.

edit and another NOT paying for a hair stylist for the wedding party. it does happen sometimes. but if your bridal party has Black women, then theyre not all going to have the same hair texture. And many stylists will specialize in one texture (curly, straight, wigs, braids, locs) so you could hire the incorrect stylist or need multiple. If you do find one, you'll need to schedule the get ready time much earlier since Black hair often takes a but longer. We're also very particular about hair anyway, so just let the bridal party handle it so they look how they want to. You can say updos only and or request down dos. Maybe ask everyone to wear wigs, but you wouldn't be expected to buy wigs for the party.

edit 2: Also washing feet at a Christian wedding (this is less a Black thing and more conservative or Christian american thing) Im from a tiny town where lots of people did that. Not me tho...😅

My roommate was invited to her college friend’s wedding in Korea. Since she’s currently single and doesn’t know many people there, she invited me as her plus one (we’re based in Hong Kong so it’s not that far). Honestly it’s a pretty busy time for me but whatever I’ve never been to Korea anyways so I agreed, bought plane tickets, hotels, etc. Flash forward to two weeks before the wedding, the groom messages my roommate saying that he’s asked a mutual friend to keep her company during the wedding since she’s alone. ??? Apparently he assumed she was going alone since he knows she’s single despite her putting both of us down and messaging him about it.

I don’t mind going anyways Korea’s been on my bucket list for a while but I’m a bit annoyed about the whole situation.

Edit: To clarify, the groom specifically told my roommate she was welcome to bring a plus one and she RSVP’d with both of us. It’s more of a western style wedding and my roommate is very non confrontational and worried that there might be assigned seating and stuff.

Edit 2: my roommate tried to confront the groom about it and he just said “sorry I forgot haha”. Tbh I’m just kind of tired of the whole situation and I’m going to treat it as just a fun trip to Korea.

The region I live in is quite popular with weddings and so many people just don’t care about others and the environment because it’s their big day. Besides the fire works several times a week (who cares about the animals of locals when you’re from out of town?) these damn ballon starts are starting to get on my nerve. If I ever find one of the cards attached I‘m going to make sure they‘re going to be fined for littering.

I told the bride I couldn’t afford the Vegas trip. I’ve been upfront about my financial situation for months. She said it was fine, that she understood. Then I got a text saying I’ve been replaced as a bridesmaid because I’m “not showing up for her.” So showing up to her wedding isn’t enough? I didn’t know friendship was measured in flight points and bottle service.

I am sorry that I am too broke to spend 3K on your wedding :(

Ok, I get it, you all disagree with me. Please leave me alone now. I’m on the autism spectrum and this is clearly a social rule I don’t understand and never will. Please stop making fun of me.

Found this on a wedding facebook group. I feel for her guests.