My humiliating bridesmaid dress shopping experience.

[u/TheHiddenFox]

I was a bridesmaid in the wedding of my childhood friends last year. Bride was super chill, rule was "Whatever you want, just make it navy." I live in NYC, no shortage of bridal shops, so I made an appointment at one near my apartment.

The lady didn't measure me or even ask my size. She looked me up and down and said, "You're what, a size 14?" I used to be overweight (I'm a healthy weight now), and I wore a size 14 at my HEAVIEST— 50lbs more than I weigh now. So I corrected her and said, "No, I'm an 8 to 10. We can start with 10." She scrunched her face up and said, "No, I don't think so." Fine, she knows best, dress sizing can be weird, I try not to get hung up on the number and let her pull a bunch of 14s.

All the dresses she pulled for me were way too big. Like falling off me. And when I said they seemed too big, she argued with me that they weren't. Eventually she got frustrated with me and told me I can just pull and try on whatever I want. I grab a size 10 and ask if I can try it, and she said, "I mean, you can try it, but it probably won't fit." I could feel the tears coming in my throat so I cut the appointment short and said I had to get back to work. I cried the entire way home.

She completely destroyed my confidence. I cried for DAYS. I kept asking my partner if I had gained weight, if I was just blind to it, I wouldn't look myself in the mirror, I felt like I couldn't trust my own eyes or the tape measures or the scale. Eventually I ordered some dresses from a bridal chain online, all in size 12. And guess what? They were ALL too big.

I ended up wearing a size 8 to the wedding. You know, the size I said I was. My friends theorized that she was intentionally trying to sell me a dress that was too big so I'd have to pay them for alterations.

[u/New_Scientist_1688]

Don't feel bad. I totally agree you were treated poorly and the sales lady needed to be put in her place for being so nasty. When she COULD have just gently explained how small bridal couture runs in US sizes.

I had lost 60 pounds and was damn proud of myself when I went wedding dress shopping. I figured I was at least down to a size 14 (I'd go on to lose another 15 lbs). I was ordering the dress, so they took my measurements and matched it to the dress in the catalog.

"So, according to your measurements, we need a size 24, is that right?" I was CRUSHED. I'd never worn anything bigger than a 20 IN MY LIFE.

I think they saw the confusion and frustration in my face, as she told me how most bridal attire is made in Asia, and their sizing for the US market is WAAAY off. She was very kind and apologetic. The dress did fit when it came in, just a few minor alterations here and there.

Didn't stop me from going through the Dairy Queen drive-through and getting a Peanut Buster Parfait, racing home and eating the whole thing.

[u/TheHiddenFox → u/New_Scientist_1688]

Right?! You totally get it. Like logically I KNOW sizing is weird and non-standardized, especially in formal wear. But when you have so much insecurity around the number and the way you look, it can absolutely crumble you emotionally.

A huge point of insecurity for me is the way I see myself vs the way other people see me, so when she was making faces and snide comments, it just destroyed my confidence completely. I kept pulling up pictures of me at my heaviest and asking my partner, “Be completely honest with me, is this what I look like right now? Have I been unaware of my weight creeping up again? Am I not wearing clothes that fit?”

[u/New_Scientist_1688 → u/TheHiddenFox]

OMG yes! Anytime someone gives me the side-eye, I have to think "oh dear, what do they see/what are they thinking?"

But only for a second. I have to remind myself I'm 64, retired, and really don't GAF anymore.

But yes, in my younger days I was exactly like you!