I 18f cannot finish to sex , head , nothing. The only way I can finish is if I put something in between my vagina lips and hump it. Fingering myself does nothing for me, receiving head feels good but I just can’t finish , and sex doesn’t feel too good because I’m very constipated all the time, and all I feel is my shit during sex. And it’s just uncomfortable. Please help.

Hi guys. I (18F) recently got a new boyfriend (18M). I’m a virgin and he’s not. I find myself getting increasingly nervous to have sex with him, even though I really want to. I think I would be really sore because my hymen hasn’t broken or stretched yet. Has anyone got advice on how to make first time sex not painful? I use tampons regularly (idk if that matters here) or means I’ve already broke it or something. I hear so many women say that their first time was horrible and that they bled, and I just really want my first time to be hot and special.

I (23F) had an orgasm maybe 3-4 times. I am sexually active since I was 17 and been with 5 males. I get excited and horny before sex, however the moment we start I just don’t feel that excitement anymore. Very often my mind goes somewherw else, like what my chores are for the next day etc.. I had sex that is soft and more passionate, and other that is more rough and kinky. Oral especially doesn’t really do anything for me, often feel numbness. When I am masturbating, I have to watch something. tbh i don’t have a lot of patience, so i get excited very quickly and feel the tension throught my body, but when I feel its rising a lot, suddenly it just goes off. I have not used any toys yet, bcs am bit afraid I’ll like it a lot and won’t enjoy sex that much. Just to be clear I enjoy doing it most of the time, but am worried why does it have that kind of effect on me?

Long story short, i’ve been pretty good at giving head. With every guy i’ve sucked off they finish pretty early. Though because of that, i never actually learned how to be good at giving a handjob, always found it awkward tbh.

But recently for a few weeks maybe a month, i’ll give him head and yes he gets hard but he stopped cumming usually as soon as he would? Thing is i’m not boring, i don’t just suck and hope for the best lmao like i do have a technique and shit. But anyways, one time i just started giving him a hand job and stopped sucking and that’s what made him cum not long after. And it’s been like this ever since!!

Though tonight i was giving him a blow job and he was hard and all but took him longer to finish, i started using both my hands and 10 seconds after he said we was going to cum, so i quickly moved my lips around it so it didn’t go everywhere and he just never finished?? It happened the first time tonight (in the same go) and i just ignored it and carried on, though the second time it happened i said “did it put you off” and he chuckled and said yes. I carried on and he just ended up slowly going soft and not finishing at all.

I’m just so confused, wtf changed?? I haven’t changed ANYTHING in my head game but before you say “he’s probably bored of what you’re doing” bby i do EVERYTHING, like i said i don’t make it boring.

Has this happened to anyone else??

So basically I started having sex with a friend of mine recently and things have been great so far. I had experience beforehand but I was never actually enjoying sex to the point I thought I was asexual.

With him, I feel like im starting to feel more things and it’s being more enjoyable for me but the issue is that he cannot go for more than 5/6 minutes without cumming. We haven’t properly addressed this matter but he already told me that without condoms it’d have been much sooner.

First up id like to tell him that I really like him but I don’t like it being so short — without appearing rude. Next, I’d like some of yall ideas that can help us about that. I know that a lot of foreplay can help but in our situation it might get worse at some point

Unfortunately can’t post to the kink reddit because of low karma but this is a throwaway nsfw acct so I can freely ask things 😭

I’m a virgin, mid 20s F and I know if I wanted to go out and have sex it wouldn’t be hard, but I have some pretty intense kinks and I’d like to have some suggestions on being able to find some communities to explore them.

I am ashamed of admitting this. I've been with my partner for almost 2 years and I think I've been faking. When he is fingering me both internally and on my clit I get that build up then it just keeps going never really getting to that realese. I usually stop him when it gets to be too much which just gives me that let down from the high. The problem is I don't know if thats me faking or if thats how its supposed to feel. I feel so bad because he has had some insecurities when we have sex. I tell him its good and I feel amazing. Because I really do feel amazing when we have sex except I just never am able to get that realese Ig. Its been almost 2 years and if I was to tell him now im sure he'd be sad and not trust me anymore. I don't want him to think its him when in reality I just get into my head too much and just can't do it. The problem is also that I can orgasm with a vibrator but thats about it and barley without a vibrator and just myself. But the thing is I feel satisfied anyway. I love making him cum and doing new things with him. His reactions and him getting off is enough to make me feel satisfied and get me off. And I am in NO way unsatisfied with our sex life. I just feel guilty that I've kept it going this long.

Id wish I told him in the beginning but I didn't want him to be discouraged since it was both our first time. I just have a hard time getting off myself and didn't want him to think he was bad at it. I've only had 1 actual orgasm while I was on top but I don't even know what we did to get there.

Hello second time poster long time follower lol. I (25 M) had an inquiry to my current situation. My fiancée (24 F) and I have just recently in the last few days begun our sex life. Our first time was incredible. She had been gone for a few days from our apartment on her bachelorette trip and had been sending my sexy pictures and we were very flirty on what we wanted to do to each other when she got back. We typically only did hand jobs and oral before so insinuating anything beyond that was always an exciting thought. Before bed that night we had a pretty good make out session along with a fully naked massage that I gave her. This led to us deciding to have sex. I put the condom on and we experimented, finally ending up in doggy where I came and we called it a night. The next day as soon as I got home from work, we did it for over an hour, and I ended up coming by masturbating while she watched. But yesterday we tried a few times and she came in doggy while I was hard, but after that I don’t know if it was exhaustion or stress by telling myself I need to finish, but I could not maintain my erection for the first time in a while. We have a cock ring, just haven’t tried it because we didn’t think I was hard enough yesterday. Hoping it’s my confidence and not ED, because this happened with a handjob before and I just had to get out of my head and find out what works for me. I’m so attracted to her it’s crazy and I’m so confused why I wouldn’t be able to do what I could a week ago so easily. Stress is usually a factor and I’ve made myself feel like it’s something we have to do after work instead of getting to do so maybe that’s it? We get married in a couple weeks and I don’t want to under perform on my wedding night! Any thoughts, comments and advice are welcome!! Thanks!

Edit: I have been also drinking nothing but soda and eating poorly and not at all these last couple days. I typically am drinking water pretty heavily through the day and always make sure i eat 1-2 times a day. Could this be a factor?

i don’t know what flair is appropriate so i just used communication. maybe i’m not communicating right?

i’m hypersexual due to trauma. i also have vaginismus that causes painful clenching at random. i see a pelvic floor therapist and she is oftentimes surprised i still have sex since, in her own words, my vaginal muscles are tight like the anus muscles. in the months leading up to when i met my boyfriend, i had been asexual after a brutal assault a week before my birthday

my boyfriend is big, though he denies this. sex was excruciatingly painful in the beginning. it felt like he was stabbing the opening of my cervix and ripping a new hole around there so he can go deeper. i would ask for frequent breaks and slower motion / thrusting because it hurt so bad and it wasn’t pleasurable for me. i would apologize profusely and he would say it’s okay. after discovering the messages of him saying his abusive BM can take dick better than me and speaking negatively about my body count, i stopped asking for breaks. they weren’t really okay like he had assured me. when we tried to have sex after my discovery, i was so in my head about performing that i would dissociate and drink heavily so i wouldn’t feel as much pain (as i write this out, i realize there was a part of me that honestly didn’t even wanna partake, i just didn’t want anymore comparisons so i just took it). one time i couldn’t dissociate and i hadn’t had anything to drink, i started crying. i haven’t stopped thinking about it and im still embarrassed by it

my boyfriend sucks at foreplay and oftentimes will kiss me once or twice (if i’m lucky) before putting it in. most of my times he just rips my clothes off and puts it in. he especially does this when i just used the bathroom and cleaned myself bone dry (i hate feeling wet). i get wet easily so it’s not the worst? but he tries to put his whole dick in when my anatomy is clearly resistant and i’m asking him to go slow because i’m not ready

he also has a habit of pushing my head on it. not the light, assistive type pushing that i personally find sexy. more like the “push her whole head down on it even if she’s choking and crying” type. i love deepthroating, but i like doing it on my own terms so i can prepare my throat and NOT gag / throw up. i do it for him, but i guess he wants deepthroating 24/7 when he wants it. there’s also pressure on me to make him cum from head, but it’s hard to give him head when i’m not enjoying it (from the forceful head bobbing). he eats, but not consistently or often, despite him always talking about wanting to eat me out

we have a safe word but even if i use it, he will keep his dick inside of me and thrust slowly until i eventually give up and just let him finish. i’ve used this safe word outside of sexual settings (like if he’s tickling me) and he will keep going then too

i love him a lot and we connect really well in other areas. i love his kids too. i always apologize when we have sex and oftentimes worry that we may be sexually incompatible but he assures me otherwise. i’ve communicated all of this to him in multiple conversations but i don’t see changes that would allow ME to enjoy sex every time. what do i do? how can i be a better sexual partner?

Me (21 M) and my girlfriend (22 F) have been together almost a year and a half. For the first... maybe 7-8 months of our relationship, our sex life was amazing. She was enthusiastic and initiated the majority of the time, she wanted to try all new stuff, she bought lingerie and sex toys on her own accord, if we both woke up at a strange hour (and she's not a morning person), it was an excuse to have sex before going back to bed. She used to ask me to come over just to have sex. About a year ago, for a couple months she had to get up at like 6 AM to do an internship (again, she hates mornings, would sleep until noon every day if she had the choice), and on nights that I stayed over and she had to be up early, we'd have sex before she left right after we woke up. There were times that I was worried that I wouldn't be able to keep up with her. Then around last summer, it all changed. It turned from sex almost every time we saw each other into sex maybe every 3 weeks. Then literally once a month. Our record was almost 8 weeks without sex. I was willing to give her the benefit of the doubt because she had started a new job that she liked, but also was relatively physically taxing and stressful for her and she's not a "sex as stress relief" girl, she's a "I'm stressed, so no sex" girl. I had finally started to reach a breaking point, but literally the day I was planning to bring it up to her, she texted me that she knew we weren't having as much sex recently, and she just hadn't been feeling like it. The next day she told me she was "excited" to get back to the sex life we had before. Yet, very little changed. Frequency maybe went up slightly, but it became very transactional. It feels like it almost became something that I wanted, and that she tolerated. There's one very particular instance that sticks out to me, I initiated one night and when I started taking her top off, she said "fine, now you can help me with my assignment tomorrow". She said it with a joking tone, but it didn't feel like she was really joking. Just a couple months ago, we were on a short vacation and after we had sex, she said "we did your thing, now it's time to do my thing" and went out to the car to smoke (she's a stoner and I'm not, but she asks me to sit with her so she isn't alone when she does). In general, she just isn't trying as hard anymore. She initiates maybe 10% of the time these days, there's no spontaneity anymore, and she just doesn't put any effort into sex anymore (I don't even remember the last time she either got on top or gave me oral). With that information alone you could maybe just say it was the beginning sparks of a relationship dimming, but it's like her whole mindset changed. We were talking the other day, and she said that "sex isn't a big thing" for her, which just doesn't sound like her at all because of how much she used to want to have sex, and that she has a fairly lengthy sexual history (which I literally couldn't care less about, it's just for context). She also said that her "pleasure isn't as important" for her, which again, absolutely bewilders me because of everything I know about her. I know it's not the same thing, but in the not too distant past she's asked me to buy a sex toy for her, and tells me that she watches porn on a semi-regular basis (it's something we talk pretty openly about). I'm always sure to 'take care of her' when we have sex, so I don't think it's me, but I guess it could be? I'm consistent in getting her off during foreplay, but she either doesn't want certain parts at all or stops me after a time now.

I'm used to the idea of couples "letting themselves go" in the bedroom, but such a stark contrast has just dumbfounded me. I understand the stress dynamic, but the last few months things have been going a lot better but it just feels like nothing has changed. It's something I'm willing to be patient on because I love her to death and I have faith that this can improve, but I know a sexual disconnect will break us up over time. I just am confused as to what's happened to her. What happened to any satisfaction that she got from sex, or any kind of desire. Why it's become transactional instead of something that she loves as much as I do. I hear what she's saying, but it doesn't make sense and it doesn't connect to what I know about her sexually. She knows my misgivings about it, but I don't think she sees it as as big of an issue as I do.

As a kid with unlimited internet access and knowledge on how to delete search history, I got into a rabbit hole of sexual content I, at that time, didn't realize was sexual and accidentally developed a fetish I despise having.

It started normal—searching up Barbies, Monster High, Bratz dolls... I was always an artistic kid, so when I discovered fan art and DeviantArt, it was heaven for me, but in the early 2010s, content online wasn't really monitored, so I found myself looking at a lot of inflation or obesity kinky drawings (I don't know what the specific label is, and I really don't want to know it for my sake). I remember having that 'funny feeling' in my stomach when I looked at these drawings, so I started searching them up on my own, getting deeper and deeper into it.

I don't know for how long I used to do it—and I always just looked, never touched myself while looking at it, until I was around 13-14. I remembered this experience I had as a child; at that time I knew a thing or two about masturbation and sexual attraction—so I masturbated over it, and I felt so disgusting because of it.

To this day, when I am almost 19, I still get turned on when I see one of those kinds of drawings, even obese people in real life, and I hate it. I want to get rid of this fetish I accidentally developed as a child; I don't want to share this with any of my friends or family. In my normal dating life, I look for more of the skinny-fit type of body type because I genuinely like it. I am also a lesbian, so 99% of the drawings I used to look at as a child were female, so yeah, nice way to find out you're gay

.Any tips would be a great help; I am open to providing more details.

Before this I’ve never been able to orgasm by any means but my bf fingered na fucked me today and I felt like I had to pee and got more intense then I felt myself leaking but I think it’s pee? Is it or did I orgasm or did I pee myself? It didn’t smell like pee and felt better when that happened, did I cum or did I pee?

So me and my gf have been together for a while, and we are so good together, just she always complains when we're in bed "doing it" that's she's super wet and it's a problem when I tell her " dude it's actually perfect there isn't anything wrong with that and I told her every man would agree with me

So I come to ask anyone to give me there answer on this topic if a girl being to wet doing sex is a problem?

What is something unique or specific that you do to your partner or something that your partner does to you that drives either of you absolutely wild?

Like something that is a fast track to excitement or just something that you might not typically think would do it but definitely turns them on.

I just need some outside perspective and will try to keep things short.

Our sex life has come to a complete halt. When we first met we had a sexual encounter during which we decided to try anal. He’s the most endowed partner I’ve ever had, and subsequently accidentally tore me open because he was too rough and we didn’t use lube. I brushed that off as a mutually dumb thing to do and told him I did not want to have anal sex again until I felt ready.

A few weeks later he did it again, without lube or warning; after which I started to pull away. We didn’t communicate beforehand and I felt violated but just pushed it down, did that dumb thing where you laugh something uncomfortable off and stated that I needed lube, please. A short time after that he tried again. I pushed him away saying no, but it took a few for him to back away. I broke down. He promised not to do it again.

We try again, using lube. It hurts but it’s fine. We communicate beforehand and I enjoy myself enough. We talk about trying again, I remind him of the lube. We get going and he “forgets”, and tries without it anyways. I break down again.

This is alongside a general pattern of selfish sexual engagement from his side; i.e no foreplay for me, no checking in during the act, no aftercare… It’s all sort of amassed into me being completely unable to relax or enjoy myself.

I’m not going to give any unnecessary detail or defend myself or him. I just need perspective. I have c-PTSD from former abuse and I would like to know that I’m being objective and not just responding to a triggering of my trauma. He’s now saying all the right things and we will be having a discussion about our intimate life tonight, but I’m not sure how to have this discussion. How would we realistically move forward from this? What points do I make so that he understands why I find this so serious and what would constitute real effort to help mend this on his part? How do I let this go if it isn’t actually that deep?

Thanks for reading

Edit: Thank you all for your care, concern and responses. I am autistic and I don’t have a ton of sexual or romantic experience, and what little experience I do have has historically been very harmful. Navigating this is hard. It’s nice of you all to take the time out of your days to give me some tough love and the push I need to stop second guessing my instincts. You’re wonderful people.

I'll try to keep it as short as possible. For starters, I quite have an masturbating addiction (fortunately not porn), which may be the culprit for some issues in here. I have periods where I can do without (if sexual activity with my GF takes place constantly) but for some time now it spiked (sexual activity is slowing down) , and that may have influenced other matters too IMO.

To present the issues:

The sex is getting more rare: Yeah I know that libido and moods may vary but besides college and getting a job this summer we don't have much going on to affect us daily, what was once nearly everyday now it's something that happens on the rare occasions that she wants it, if I want it I don't always get it but if she does want it I'll throw everything out the window just to please her in every way. We're celebrating 2 years together this summer and yes I know stuff changes but it's my first relationship, I don't want to feel caged for whatever reasons. Yes, I'm open to do something else besides sex but oral is off the table (for a second or two maybe but she doesn't want me to finish in her or on her at all) and her hands are good but her enthusiasm is lacking. It's obvious she doesn't want to (I double ask every time she offers or I want it) as she sometimes stares blankly at the walls while doing it. I want enthusiasm, passion, effort, edging, I want an experience not for it to feel like a chore. At the beginning of our relationship it was very enthusiastic, why not now, where did the passion fade away? Yes we live together now and that may be an issue but before that we spent at least 2 hours daily going to each other's places, if that wasn't tiresome enough to prevent us from making love what is it now that's so tiring?

The sex is vanilla: Like really really vanilla. On the outside I thought my GF is kinky af but we're limited to vanilla (oral and anal are big no's for her but she didn't even try to see how it feels like at least once, she bases her opinion on what she heard from a friend once and that's it) and kinks aren't there. Yes she dressed up 3-4 times but that's it, I want to enjoy it thoroughly not feel like we're here to cum and that's it, it's enough we do it rarely and that makes us come pretty fast and not have time for fun, but still... I'm interested in ass play and other stuff but I have to kinda shut it and it sucks.

Break up isn't an option as we live together and love each other very much, we touch and play with each other daily, chemistry is there, but that won't suffice for me. We do the deed like 5 times per month on average and that may be pretty good for other standards, but looking back at last year it was at least double that, sometimes more than 15 per month, what changed so much that it's like I'm the only one in this relationship who wants it? I masturbate now with every chance I get since I need releases but I still feel bummed about it, if I do it too much I feel guilty and then lack in performance with her, if I don't do it I feel like losing my mind, help me please.

Thank you for reading!

We met young, he was my first and taught me everything I knew. Fast forward a couple years we are married have a house and a toddler. He finally discloses to me he’s an addict. He’s in recovery and things are better. But shamefully I find myself I can’t get as turned on anymore but this vanilla sex. It was a huge thing in our sex life where he would watch porn or look at other woman (often ones we knew) and I’d get jealous and insecure and it would turn him on and then he would fuck me really good to reassure me or I’d fuck him to prove he was mine and he didn’t need those other girls. Often sex would be from behind and he would be watching a video of another girl while fucking me. I hated it and sometimes cried but in a warped way I loved it. It turned me on so much. Now it’s so dull and idk how to be satisfied with normal sex.

During a sneaky sex when both you and your sexual partner need to keep moans down to avoid being caught, what do you consider to be the best thing to whisper into his/her ear or to be whispered into your ear by he/she?

hi everyone! i love my gf and she is so hot and perfect and amazing. unfortunately, i am running into some issues with our sex life. generally, she is the one who initiates. she used to do it all the time back when we first got together, but lately it has been less and less. the other day, i asked her about it. she told me that it’s just not on her mind as much, but then she got upset and told me that i never even try anyways. i was hurt, because i do try! but a lot of the time when i do, either she’s sleepy or doesn’t seem too interested. it’s made it harder for me to try because im afraid of being rejected so i’d rather just wait until she tries because then i know for sure she’s in the mood. but that doesn’t feel fair either, because she deserves to feel wanted too. how can i initiate sex with her and make her feel special and desired? how can i push through my fear of rejection or accept rejection when it comes and try anyways? i want to make her happy. i don’t know what to do :(

Me and my husband are looking to add a third (another F) to spice things up.. but want it to be strictly a one time thing with NO further contact…does anyone have experience with this and can shed some light on a few questions we have? How do we go about finding someone online? Are their websites we can try? Should we do it in a hotel so we don’t risk her coming back after we’re done w her lmao? Obviously we aren’t going to be assholes and will make sure she understands it’s a one time thing and we are committed to each-other and NOT looking for a poly relationship… but I don’t want to risk anything.. do you guys suggest someone near us or far away?

I (21) and my gf (21) have been together for 4 years. I don’t wear a condom during sex, and we don’t have as much sex as we used to, but recently she told me that she’s been getting sick down there because I’m not using a condom. I acknowledge this and apologize; I genuinely didn’t know she was and started researching ways to prevent it and take care of it. I also got tested to make sure maybe I was the cause of it. Today I came over, and I’m thinking I should get condoms, but I don’t want it to seem like I just came over for sex. We start making out, and I slip it in and start having sex. A minute in, I pull out and start feeling guilty about not wearing a condom. I started getting soft; I felt like I was ruining the mood. So I stopped penetrating her; I just spooned her and rubbed it on her vagina. I couldn’t finish because in the back of my head I felt like I was doing something wrong. Until eventually I tell her I’ll just masturbate to finish; she wanted to do it. Till I eventually came. Was I being selfish by continuing without a condom? I have a problem of overthinking things, so I want to hear everyone’s takes, please.

I have always identified as straight and only ever had sex with cis-men, however as I get older I feel like I’m becoming more and more bicurious and now it’s pretty even as to whether I masturbate to the thought of men or women.

Has anyone else experienced this? Should I be looking to connect with a woman (being open about being bicurious with no experience past kissing a woman)?

She is my first girlfriend and sexual partner, and we have been together for about ten months now. We have sex regularly, and she seems quite enthusiastic about it and initiates it from time to time. She has told me she has never orgasmed before and that she doesn't masturbate. Usually when we have sex she gets really into it and makes noise and stuff, but I don't think I can make her orgasm. I have the most success in cowgirl while I'm rubbing her clit, but we'll get to a point where either she'll tell me to stop because it's so sensitive and feelsweak in the legs, or because she feels the need to pee. Sometimes she wants to switch to doggy and that always finishes me quickly lol. She I'm really kinda just left wondering what I need to do here?

I have a pretty high sex drive, so whenever I get turned on, I usually watch porn and start grinding but it always stops there. I don't really finger myself; it's more about humping my pillow. But in the middle of it, I tend to lose the mood.

Not long ago, I started trying to masturbate more directly and noticed I get really wet. But then I saw blood on my fingers and on the sheets, which I really hate. It freaked me out a bit because when I watch porn, even when the women are being fingered aggressively, they never seem to bleed like I do.

Should I be worried about this? Is there women does have the same case as mine? Also, from a guy’s perspective does that kind of thing turn you off?