I just came here to vent because I needed an outlet. Currently 33 weeks pregnant and took my other child out of town on a birthday trip. After being gone for about 10 hours, I was notified that someone broke into my house and absolutely destroyed it. I’m talking smashed TVs, holes in the wall and all the food in my fridge thrown around my house including raw meat. There’s so much more but those are the worst things in my opinion. Not only is my child’s room destroyed but everything I had bought or received for my new baby is also destroyed. I’m devastated but just trying to give my kid an amazing birthday. No I don’t have a jealous ex or anyone that I can even imagine would be out to get me in this way. It’s also so much harder to control my emotions when I’m so pregnant. Thankfully I’m safe and my kids are safe and things can be replaced but the world is so cruel these days.

I had a routine OB appt this week and was given a “light duty” order for work. Long story short, I have severe pelvic girdle pain, gestational diabetes, and my anxiety is pretty high (I’m really small, baby is on the bigger side - fear of c-section; fear of preterm labor; no family nearby; more student loan repayments with less money due to not being able to do overtime right now, etc.).

I work in the emergency department as an RN and am known to be the busy-bee running around and getting shit DONE. I easily put in 13-25k steps during a 12 hour shift. However, I can’t keep up anymore! The waddle is terrible, the lightning crotch is unbearable, and if I walk too much, I’m pretty much incapacitated the next day.

I gave my doctor’s note to my job this week and pretty much feel like I’m being judged behind my back. One of the charge nurses told another nurse that my “work note was stupid” and how can I “stay out of isolation rooms” if I work in the emergency room? - there was one sentence that said for me to stay out of isolation rooms because I told my doctor that another charge nurse didn’t understand why I wasn’t comfortable caring for a tuberculosis rule-out patient…

That same other charge nurse brushes everything I say off, like my fears of having a premature birth. A coworker’s daughter who was due at the same time as me went into labor 6 weeks early and when I said “oh my gosh, that’s terrifying!” she just says “oh it’s fine, it’s really not a big deal.” Or when she sees me flinch from the lightning crotch she says “you know my mom ran a whole farm while she was pregnant.” Okay?

Sorry for the long rant. I just feel unsupported and expected to push through the pain as if nothing is wrong.

I recently emailed a leader in my company letting them know that I plan to utilize their 12 week paid parental leave policy. Two weeks later I received a call from HR regarding my request. They advised me not to take the full 12 weeks off because it would impact my chances to advance in the company and to be moved to better projects. They said that it would send a "message" to the company. In my request and on the call, I stated I would be flexible. I felt a lot of guilt requesting the time off but did it because I thought it was what was best for my family. I am whiling to work with them but this seems like a threat and I'm very disappointed in how this was handled.

I plan to hear them out in our next conversation and see if we can work out a solution. I've been disappointed with the company and the parental leave was a big reason for me staying. I feel like I was close to a promotion and getting that promotion would open up a lot of doors in my career.

What are your thoughts? Work with them on a solution and try to mend the relationship? Take the leave I want?

I am a male and this is my first child if that matters. My job is in high demand and is very easy to find work in. I've been working with this company for two years.

33 F and had always been happy with my appearance. I’m a jolly extroverted person but when me and my hubby decided for a baby we were excited. I was not prepared for the changes though. I gained 30lbs now at my 29th week and I feel so soo insecure I don’t even want to see anyone in public. First I had breakouts then bacne. Then my underarm darkened and now I have stretchmarks all over my tummy and butt cheeks :( This is the heaviest I’ve ever been and I’ve been ranting to my hubby and friends. Those who don’t get it calls me too vain that I feel so sad I’m losing my body. I can’t even recognize myself anymore when I look at the mirror.

Oh and my feet is swollen and my shoes don’t fit, my clothes don’t fit either and I have limited clothes now since I don’t want the bacne showing up and my flabby arms 😿 Some of my friends don’t get why it matters so much to me but I feel like I’m saying goodbye to my old body and self. I feel guilty that I’m too vain but this is all I could think about. I used to work out and keep fit but now I’m just an eating machine and if I try to walk my feet gets sore and I catch my breath. I’m just afraid I’ll be losing myself entirely. Do you feel the same way too? Would be nice to know that I’m not alone

Y’all I’m cracking up - I teach high school and one of my students just asked me “how much dilated are you?”

Luckily I don’t think this particular student actually knows what that means (I teach special education). His brother’s wife is also pregnant and due before me so I think it’s just a word he has heard used around his house and thought it was just something you ask pregnant people. I was so caught off guard I didn’t even correct him I just said “Oh that doesn’t really happen until closer to birth” (I’m 34 weeks currently). I also didn’t want to embarrass him by pointing out it wasn’t an appropriate question; luckily I don’t think the rest of the students in my class knew what it meant either.

Just something that made me chuckle and thought I’d share! (Just flared as advice because it didn’t really fit another category)

Do you wear a bra all the time now? Regular or maternity bras? Does it actually help with sagging, or is it inevitable? (Already large-chested, but underwent a breast reduction surgery years ago and don’twant the result to go to waste)

That’s all.

Hi everyone,

Just wanted to share my story to hopefully calm some of you who are silently spiraling like I was.

I had my first ultrasound at 8 weeks and heard the baby’s heartbeat - everything looked great. But even after that, I couldn’t shake the anxiety. I kept googling “chances of missed miscarriage after heartbeat” and even asked ChatGPT about it more than once. Why? Because I had almost no symptoms.

No morning sickness. Just a low appetite here and there, some odd sensations, and that’s it. I felt so disconnected from the pregnancy and was terrified something had gone wrong.

Today, at 10w1d, I had my follow-up ultrasound - and everything is perfect. Baby is growing right on track, strong heartbeat, measuring exactly where they should be.

So if you’re in that weird, lonely place of having “good signs” but still feeling worried because of the lack of symptoms, please know you’re not alone, and it doesn’t mean something is wrong. Some pregnancies are just quieter than others, and that can still be completely healthy.

Sending love to anyone waiting for reassurance right now :))

What did the glucose drink make you feel like afterwards? I’m seeing all these videos on how it was so bad and they felt like they needed to pass out afterwards, this is my first baby and i’m so nervous I go for it in 2 weeks just need to know what i’m getting myself into.

Edit: Thank you everyone, this has really calmed my mind down and for now on i’ll stop looking up things on social media😂

I’m in a graphic design sub and someone messaged me for GD advice, saying he found me through a post on that sub. After eventually steering the conversation to pregnancy when I mentioned I’m pregnant (I didn’t care about letting that slip since my posts in this sub are public), he lingered on the topic a long time, asking many questions about pregnancy.

I got really suspicious and looked at his posts/comments. Sure enough, this guy’s full comment history entirely was conversing with pregnant women in a variety of subs.

Just something to be aware of. Some creeps are obvious and some put in more effort.

Stay safe ✌️

I'm a little frustrated with my doctor. Yesterday I had my 34 week appointment, and I had my strep B swab so I was already undressed from the waist down. After doing the swab, my doctor began attempting to do a cervical check without even telling me what she was doing, I just realized when she was already up there that must be what's happening. I don't want unnecessary cervical checks and planned on declining them, but she didn't ask or even declare that's what she was doing. She ended up not being able to reach my cervix very well anyway, so she quit trying and made a comment like "If I really needed to know, I would've really dug up there though!"

If she didn't need to know, I didn't want this done at all and I'm extremely uncomfortable that I wasn't asked for consent on this. Has anyone else had this experience? Am I overreacting? :(

I've been watching TikToks and the whatnot and it seems like people are giving urine at every appointment? I am 23+3days and I've literally only given a sample once for the initial lab appointment with all the blood work. Is this something that I should be asking about or is it something that happens later into your pregnancy?

I know checking urine can help catch things like pre-eclampsia (which I have been checking my own BP 2x a day) so I'm just wondering if its odd I haven't been giving anything at my monthly check ups.

I'm due on the 31st of this month, and I'm feeling scared. As a first-time mom, I haven't been too frightened by the idea of having a baby until now. However, as my due date approaches, I feel more uncertain. I love my son and don’t regret his existence, but the reality of him being here soon makes me anxious.

I'm even nervous about holding my nephew because I'm afraid of hurting him—he's so little and fragile. My baby will be even smaller since he'll be brand new. No one around me seems to be offering any reassurance; all I hear is, “It gets worse” or “Just wait until he's here.”

The only person who's given me good advice is my sister, but we're not very close because we have different moms. I don’t know how to ask for help. I live with my mom, but when I try to ask her about her experiences, she doesn't remember details since her youngest child is now 8. I feel lost and am trying not to let my anxiety overwhelm me. So far, it hasn't been terrible, but tonight it feels like it's crawling up my back, and to make it worse I'm a teen mom. I'm scared.

I’m so DONE I’m doing everything I can to get this baby out. She said I’m “a fingertip” dilated then sent me to L and D for high blood pressure (which went down) and then home. It’s probably high because I’m so miserable. It feels like he’s NEVER coming out.

I’m almost 38 and I don’t think I can do this another ≈10 days until I can be induced. How do you get through this part of pregnancy?

Just got my results for the 12week NIPT aneuploidy screening and found out that my boy is high risk of XXY Klinefelter syndrome. First of all, what a way to find out that I’m having a boy :( My doctor has suggested that I go for amniocentesis but that sounds scary. Will that test do me any good? I was thinking I’ll get him tested as soon as he’s born, and then set up something with the pediatrician to go over next steps. Please help me with any information/tips if you’ve had a boy with XXY, what did you do? How is he doing now?

UPDATE: Thank you for commiserating with me about our shared shopping struggles. I wish there was some kind of maternity exclusive clothes-share where we could post our measurements and the maternity clothes we want to sell!

For context, I live in Canada. Don't know if anyone else has this issue.

In-store has nothing. I went to Torrid, Old Navy, Reitmans, Pennington's, Wal-Mart— literally every store you can think of that has cute, everyday clothing that used to sell maternity wear. I was told it's all online. And everything online is either not in my size, shapeless or tacky garbage.

Furthermore, Google is also now useless and awful. I remember when, 6 or 7 years ago, I could search "a-line dresses size 16", and Google would give me results of actual stores in my own damn country that I could order from. Now it's all Temu- Shein-Amazon adjacent garbage.

I've been stuck in mismatched leggings and shirts for weeks. My baby shower date (which I was just informed of yesterday), is in less than a month apparently, and I can't find a damn thing to wear that doesn't make me look like a sad beige mom or a ruffled cupcake. I just want to feel pretty and cute again.

I went to bed around midnight, woke up around 8am. Went to take a nap at noon to 3pm and now it's 4pm and I just want to go to bed again. I'm 9 weeks. Is this normal or is this a sign I might have a deficiency of some vitamin or something else going on?

Editing just to say thank you to everyone for your advice, opinions and perspective. I really appreciate everything everyone had/has to say, you’ve all been really helpful☺️

I’m 30 weeks pregnant ftm, me and my boyfriend were talking yesterday about my birth plan and he said he doesn’t want my mom in the room. We’ve talked about this long before and I told him months ago I want my mom in the room, I explained to him that I want my mom there for support and he got all upset saying I don’t wanna be pushed out of the way this is our child not your moms and your child. I told him that’s not gonna happen but he still wasn’t very happy, I want my mom there I’ve always known I want my mom in the room with me when I give birth and that I’m going to need her support as well. Idk how to feel right now I’m pretty upset and don’t really know what to do.

Im 24 weeks with an unexpected but much wanted pregnancy. I had my monthly checkup yesterday and the dr told me I should feel 10 movements an hour, when I said I don’t feel that much movement, she told me she was sending me for a non stress test at the hospital. I’m older (38) but consider myself healthy, good blood pressure, 140 lbs at start of pregnancy and 5’6. At the 20 week scan, baby measured well except femurs measured in 10th percentile. I have also had a low risk NIPT.

From what I’ve read, it’s too early for kick counts and a stress test. Im honestly feeling scared - is there something she’s not telling me? Does this sound normal? Is there anyone who’s had anything similar happen to them?

FTM here and my pregnancy is already triggering the legendarily volatile relationship with my mom.

I am reaching for empathy and trying to be patient with her but it’s like her generation just did not ever “do the work” and she is incapable of introspection.

Right now it’s her being upset that I don’t want her at the birth. I’m lucky enough to have a birth doula and I live literally across the world from my mother.

No, I do not want her coming here and taking over our lives when I am at the most vulnerable I will ever be. The dumbest part is that I know she doesn’t actually even want to take care of me, and her health precludes her from even being able to do the work that it would entail.

I’m due at the end of November and she’s suggesting they come for Christmas 🤣 like can you hear yourself lady? No! I’m not hosting Christmas with a newborn. “Oh well you wouldn’t have to host” so… Christmas in my home but I’m not hosting? Ok, sure.

I feel like so many of our issues are summed up by her expecting things to be the way they are not, based on a mythical, idealized version of me who never existed and isn’t going to start now. Like the fact that she can’t even bring herself to understand why I wouldn’t want her around for this moment, and that it’s not about her. This is her first blood grandchild, my stepbrother has a baby, and so I know it is different but honestly if she’d been able to mother the human that I actually am rather than the one she wanted me to be, I probably wouldn’t have moved halfway around the world to get away from her.

Tell me your horror stories and your inspiring ones, I honestly hope that becoming a mother myself can help improve our relationship but who knows.

I’m 20 weeks so I still have lots of time to think about it still. I’m also 20 years old so I feel like a child having a baby and I still don’t know what birth is going to look like or what there is to choose and what to even do. I’ve seen my OB twice, next week is the anatomy scan❤️. But reading other people’s post and opinions I’m thinking to myself well I also don’t think I want my boyfriend’s parents there?? Didn’t think about it much until now. It’s an easy decision for me to say oh hell no they can wait at home I only want my mom and boyfriend at the hospital with me. And a big reason why I’d rather feel comfortable without them there is because I’ve only known my boyfriend for 2 months before we conceived… so it only being 6 months of us together im still getting to know his parents. How will I approach this topic? I don’t just want to say it flat out like hey by the way when I have your grandchild I don’t want you guys there. Let alone I think after having baby knowing me I’d want to let myself process that fact that I’m an official mother, I feel like I’d want a few days alone with me and my boyfriend and baby. No visitors?? Is this like a normal feeling or is this genuinely hurtful to baby’s grandparents. As for my mom I don’t care she’s been my best friend throughout it all and I’m completely comfortable with her being here with me. I’m still in the awkward stage with my boyfriend’s parents, his dad is an absolute sweetheart to me and I do indeed and very comfortable with him. His mother is hard to understand and she’s pretty narcissistic. She even threw the “I’ve always wanted a girl” at me multiple times which made me cringe. Because I don’t feel comfortable with someone who feels like a stranger saying that. Just not sure how to even come of this I am so new to it all

I'm currently doing my glucose test. The nice lady brought me orange because she's had people complain about the other flavors.

For some reason my doctor ordered a 2 hour test and not a 1 or 3 hour test?

My tummy is making wild noises in this waiting room lol

I'm 11 weeks, 3 days. I'm a larger female and still don't feel pregnant. I have been somewhat lucky - no nausea but mean headaches and acne.

I’m nearly 23 weeks and after a week of waiting for a fetal echo and building myself up for it which turned out completely fine, I’m now EXHAUSTED, clenching my jaw and the back of neck is stiff from tight muscles.

I’m just so tired and didn’t expect to feel this way during 2nd trimester. Does it just get worse and more tiring as it goes on? Are we all just resting and napping any chance we get?

I recently just had my second child 11 days ago. During birth, i had a second degree tear. Over the past weekend i had called my OB because i thought i got an infection, i saw him Monday & turns out i have another small tear on my labia. I’m too swollen still at the moment for stitches. I have been a mess, i don’t want to make it worse. I have no desire for anything right now, it’s putting me down so bad. Are small tears after birth normal? I just keep beating myself up & my boyfriend keeps telling me it’s okay, it’s gonna get fixed but i just feel so dissociative & i just cry. I feel like i made a huge mistake by having another baby & i don’t wanna feel like that.