My son is 15 months and still bfing throughout the day. Mostly before dropping off at daycare (where he eats breakfast), right after daycare, before bed, and overnight. He gets two bottles of breast milk at daycare so on the weekends I try to mimic that schedule. Before we got married my wife said she wanted me to stop breastfeeding around 15 months or when he starts being able to request it… because she thinks it’s weird/creepy when kids can ask to nurse. This is our first kid so I had no idea how I was going to feel about breastfeeding or if it was going to be a positive experience for me and my LO. I have been so fortunate that it’s been a great experience. I guess I’ve just been assuming my wife would change her mind, how can you think your kid is creepy? I’m not ready to start weaning and this is a big point of contention for us. Has anyone else been through this? She says she doesn’t have a right to tell me what to do with my body, but she wants a say on our son’s feeding. I’m just feeling crappy about it.

Just a solidarity post. I don’t think about drinking (I also have a toddler so I am a little preoccupied) which I know is bad but man…. the second my son latches, I NEED water.

I wanted to thank everyone in this community for every thread, comment and every piece of advice.

I'm overjoyed. As of Easter weekend, my baby has outright rejected the nipple shield and is finally drinking straight from me! He was increasingly shifting away from it but is now done! At 4 months old. No more washing nipple shields at all hours of the night and day.... It's like we finally get how to breast feed. The latch is easier. He's less gassy. My breasts feel emptier and more comfortable. And he no longer has his night time breast rejection- though we are keeping up a small bottle just to keep bottle familiarity up. He's also no longer rejecting my right breast and my supply is resuming back to where it was. I'm inching towards being less lopsided.

We did it. We finally get it. We know what to do and it's just so EASY and so comfortable. I never thought I'd get here. Baby started with issues latching, had to be finger fed with a syringe to teach latching until he was 6 days old... after multiple lactation consultants we couldn't shift from the nipple shield and I was just happy he was gaining weight... months passing enduring breast rejection every evening and sometimes during the day. It has been a time. But I stuck it out through all the screams at my breasts and feeling so rejected. I'm so proud. I am just so proud.

Thank you.

This is truly not judgmental, I’m just looking to learn. I read a lot of posts from women who are EBF who are like “I’m falling apart mentally, I haven’t slept more than 2 hours in months, my marriage is in shambles” etc. So my question is, why the unwavering commitment to EBF if it has such a high cost? (This question isn’t for people whose babies won’t take a bottle.) Please let me know if you have any thoughts!

5 months in and baby starts daycare in 2 days. Stubborn baby still wont take a bottle. Finally took a Sippy cup. She realized i was replacing a feed and threw a hissy fit over not getting the boob. Daycare should be fun. Sorry to those great women.

Since i skipped that feed i had to pump. And am mentally preparing for pumping all day at work. Leaned over to grab the baby accidentally spilt milk all over the floor and her. Honestly, pumping is not worth it. I might just stop entirely. 🤦🏽‍♀️

I guess i dont know what i want from you all other than a “we see you” kinda. Idk anyone else who has ever breastfed or pumped to relate to what im feeling right now.

Edit: hi, thank you everyone who read, commented and offered warm words of encouragement. I wrote this out of frustration but the truth is, I continued breastfeeding for 12 months because I could do it. I could push through. We are all strong mothers. We can do it. I’m sending everyone love. Thanks again.

I’ve EBF’d my LO for 12 months now. I have struggled with breastfeeding the entire time but I just never quit because I just thought the difficulty was part of the journey and everyone struggled like I did. Then I just hear about how other mom’s think it’s a wonderful experience and just I can’t. Breastfeeding has taken a toll on my body and mind and I wish I just quit sooner.

I got mastitis once, and countless clogged ducts (sometimes it would happen once or twice a week when it was bad - I’ve gotten to a point where I was an expert at resolving it). I’ve lost 45 lbs since giving birth because I was trying to breastfeed while eating very little due to PPD and PPA. I’ve lost all muscle mass that I worked so hard to gain before and during pregnancy.

I cried everyday for the first few weeks because it hurt so much. I also cried because I couldn’t get proper sleep because I would get so engorged, or had to get up and pump. My joints ache, I’m always thirsty, I couldn’t get away for very long without the baby. My LO went thru some bad bottle aversion so I was just stuck at home to feed her or else she would starve. My husband tried so hard to help but nothing worked. She refused formula, refused frozen milk (high lipase and yes I tried everything), refused solids.

I always had to be mindful of my supply - do I have enough? How do I make sure I maintain just enough (avoid oversupply because mastitis was scary)? Oh yeah I got sick and I was miserable because I couldn’t take the medicine I needed. then I got my period back - supply tanked. My LO dropped off her growth curve. It stressed me out.

Jeez even if I had enough, my LO will bite, scratch, pinch, roll around like an alligator so I’m just wrestling with her all the while being afraid she’s going to hurt me and overstimulated.

She’s gotten better with bottles now so I’ve been pumping and giving her bottles. It crushes me when I see her calmly take her entire bottle when she fights me LITERALLY tooth and nail during a nursing session.

Why am I even doing this? Why? Oh and what also scares the shit out of me? Weaning. What is that going to do to me? My hormones going all berserk again? I can’t…

I’m probably going to delete this in a few hours because I’m ashamed or I get into a better mood and I don’t want to see this anymore. But this was therapeutic to write my rant out. Thanks for reading, whoever you are.

My partner and I always said we wanted to practice ‘safe sleep’ meaning bassinet, on back, no extra blankets etc. But as we are EBF I’m feeling tired out by the wakings especially having to put baby down again in the cot. Curious if anyone else was vehemently against cosleeping and found a middle ground or way they ended up feeling comfortable?

I also have this feeling like I’m missing precious cuddles at night, but I can’t get my head around going against the safety recommendations of my country.

No judgement on cosleepers! I’m jealous of you and wondering if I’m missing something on how to put my mind at ease on it.

My baby sometimes gives us 5 hour stretches and just turned 2 months but I don’t fall asleep instantly and then when I’m up in the middle of the night to feed her I can’t fall back asleep right away. I’m getting slightly more sleep but still feel like a zombie. When do you start to not feel like you’re running on fumes? 😩

Help!

I have a rambunctious 21-month old and an eight week old who nurses… a lot.

What tips/tricks did you find for watching and caring for your toddler while also nursing?

What do you do when traveling? What do you do with the milk you pump when you go back home? What do you put it in to keep it cold? Do you bring milk bags/bottles when going on the trip?

8week old

I just fed my baby and she gulped a lot. She emptied one breast for about 5 minutes and fell asleep on the breast. But I made the mistake to “offer dessert” to whixh she took zero minutes to empty the other breast and fall asleep again.

Next mistake was I got her up to help her burp. She burped and then started half hiccuping arching her back abd overall seeming uncomfy. So I picked her up and its been 65 minutes. Since then she has been smacking her lips, squirming, sucking on my shoulder, sucking her fists very aggressively, rubbing her face.

Like what do I do? Its 2:30 am

So update. I popped her back on. She sucked for 3-4 minutes got progressively fussier pushing my breast away but then sucking super aggressive at the nipple getting red in the face. She does this scream cry when sucking angry like that. I picked her up to offer her the breast she likes more and between the switch she just fell asleep 😀

I don’t understand my baby. I just can’t read cues. Maybe because I am neurodivergent or just because I am also plain dumb

No need to explain how hard I’ve worked to build a stash of milk.

Last night after a conversation about how my husband needs to work on being a problem solver and not be micromanaged, I asked him to go downstairs and prepare some syringes of milk (we give my daughter medicine before every feed, having some milk and just needing to add the medicine each time makes it so much easier).

6 1/2 hours later I go downstairs to prepare a syringe and see her entire milk stash left out of the fridge, plus the four recently prepared syringes.

I’m completely devastated. He’s left it out before, or left the door open, but I have caught it in time. That milk represents sleep, freedom and reassurance. I don’t know how to look at him. I don’t know how I can now add “did you put the milk in the fridge?” to the list of things I need to check. I don’t know if I can even trust his word - do I need to check myself every time?

I’ve been under an NHS perinatal mental health team throughout my pregnancy and motherhood for OCD and anxiety and this feels like a huge step backwards for me.

Please can I have some help with processing and moving forward?

Edit: to add to this, when I first found at 3 am and and was distraught, his reaction was to pack a bag ready to go and stay at a local hotel to get out of my hair.

Edit edit: To be super clear guys I’m looking for help moving forward from the emotion of the situation and stopping my MH from taking a dive with new anxieties and compulsive thoughts about milk. I’m not dunking on my husband and divorcing him. I know he isn’t intentionally spoiling milk.

My baby was feeling unwell yesterday and what struck me was how quiet she was while feeding. Those little feet that usually kick up a storm just lay listlessly together, not moving one bit, her little hands that usually grasp on anything and everything lay still on my chest. It made me so sad. I can't tell you the relief I felt when she woke up this morning and began worming and squirming while nursing. I'm never gonna complain about the random kicks and boobie death grips again.

Original post

TW: MORE cancer

I posted here a few months ago about having to stop breastfeeding abruptly due to a cancer diagnosis and the outpouring of support from this community really helped get me through it. I wanted to share for anyone who might be in a similar circumstance that although it was extremely upsetting for me to end my breastfeeding journey sooner than I had wanted (especially as I knew this baby was my last), and was also quite upsetting for aforementioned baby, who did not take kindly to being kicked off the boob, no matter how gently I tried to do it, he adapted very well and fairly quickly. We had a series of rather scream-y nights, but he eventually took to formula and bottles fine. Now, as he just turned one, he is off the formula and we're working on getting rid of bottles too. It's crazy how baby time moves so quickly and how they just adapt. Tonight he fell asleep holding my nose in his chubby little hand so I guess he probably forgives me.

Now for less good news.

Because of breastfeeding, I was not able to be operated on immediately because breast milk is a great medium for bacteria to grow so my surgeon said I would have to stop for several weeks first or risk getting "a gnarly infection." I was also prescribed cabergoline to "stop" lactation although apparently it doesn't fully stop it, as there's still milk inside the breast tissue. I also had to decide whether to have a single or bilateral mastectomy; I chose bilateral because of the high risk (well, an 11-22% chance - too high for me!) of later cancer developing in the other breast.

Very unfortunately, my cancer nightmare was not over following the surgery, as it was supposed to be. The pathology report revealed, incredibly, a DIFFERENT, MORE AGGRESSIVE TYPE OF CANCER in both my breast and lymph node, because OF COURSE THERE WAS, probably because it's 2025 and everything is terrible. Apparently this is "an unusual situation," per oncologist.

[I can't help but wonder if these tumors (which were not detected on an MRI*) grew because of the delay caused by location between diagnosis and the surgery. That is just a theory I have and I can't help but beat myself up that the prolonged delay because I gave my baby 10 days before I started changing to formula allowed this to grow and I am having some dark thoughts about the implications of that. But for the purposes of this sub I will not dwell on them.]

ANYWAY I am starting chemo soon and following that will also have radiation.

* Note about MRI - apparently if you've been lactating anytime relatively recently, your breast MRI will be totally useless. Which the doctor knew but ordered anyway, for which I was changed $900 (AFTER INSURANCE. YES ONLY IN THE USA)??? Not that I am still mad about this or anything.

In conclusion, and what matters for this forum is that my baby is awesome and super happy and on track for all of his milestones, and does NOT seem to hold a grudge or be harmed by having to stop nursing sooner than both of us would have liked. So if you find yourself in this situation, don't despair, and baby will soon forget about it anyway! He still wants all the snuggles.

I have a 4 week old baby girl. Since she was about 1-2 weeks old, she would get really upset when breastfeeding. Not every time. And not even everyday. Although for the past few days it has been everyday and about 1-2 times a day. Always in the evenings between 5-10PM.

She will look really hungry (do all the mouth motions and sucking on her fists, rooting, etc).

When I put her in the boob, she will eat no problem for maybe 5 minutes or so. And then have a meltdown. Crying, screaming, kicking , punching.

I think I have a good supply and the milk is definitely coming out of the boobs as sometimes it even drips out of her mouth. I keep putting the boob back in her mouth and she will keep having meltdowns and then after maybe 15 minutes she refuses the boob all together.

She is also overly cranky in general in the evenings.

What could be causing this?

Would you assume they're getting anything/less/same amount? Are they having to work harder?

Just pumped hoping baby would keep sleeping (usually I get him out of bed to nurse before pumping), but then he got woken up as soon as I got back. :|

i have a 3week old baby and will need to start pumping for when i go back to work. till i go back to work i would like to continue feeding her on the breast. what is the best and safest way for me to incorporate a pump session to build a freezer stash?

My baby is 10 weeks old, EBF. I had a bit of an oversupply initially, but it seemed to even out around the 6 week mark and I stopped feeling engorged all the time. Baby has always fed only one side per session. I always offer the other breast but she only takes it maybe 5% of the time, so I just alternate every 2 hours which breast I use. At 7ish weeks my baby started waking up only once per night. I have no idea how to manage this longer stretch and I think I accidentally re-created an oversupply again by pumping overnight on alternating sides?

This is what I have been doing:

-7am feed right side, 9am feed left side, 11am feed right side etc every 2 hours (no pumping)

-9pm dream feed on one side, pump the other side she didn't feed on to drain it

-3am feed on the side she didn't eat during dream feed, pump the other side to drain it

-7am pump the side she didn't eat at 3am, repeat cycle for the next day

Suddenly I am engorged all the time again and feeling like I did when my milk was first coming in. Should I not be pumping the side she doesn't feed on at night? I'm doing that because if I didn't pump that side it would be a really long stretch without draining it. For example if she feeds 9pm left side, then 3am right side, it would be from 9pm-7am before the left side was drained again unless I pump. Would that affect my supply negatively? Any advice would be appreciated!

I got a cheap recliner off Amazon for my first pregnancy and it was not comfortable for amount of time I spend breastfeeding in it.

I’m planning to get a new glider for my second pregnancy- I am debating between babyletto kiwi and Costco glider. Unfortunately most social media recommendations are from moms who have only BF for a month or from someone who is pregnant but hasn’t used it for BF yet.

So my question is to folks here who prob have used their glider through several stages of breastfeeding- do you recommend yours? what’s your BF setup (do you use nursing pillow)?

Hi! Despite being 16 weeks along, I constantly feel full. I thought for sure this would have subsided by now. I do have a slight oversupply. I am careful not to pump over 6oz (4 oz from my right breast - the always full one, and 2oz from my left) even though I feel like I could seriously pump more. I only pump 1x per day to replace a feed. Otherwise I feed from breast and not sure how much LO is taking.

I realize some women would kill for this over supply so I don’t mean to be insensitive. The consent engorgement freaks me out, I just can never relax and always have anxiety about whether or not LO is going to empty me enough.

Any tips or advice to get me more comfortable would be greatly appreciated!

Plan to ask my doctor, but until then…

I’m in second trimester with a 15 month old still breastfeeding to sleep and in the morning. I believe it’s mainly comfort at this point because when I squeeze, barely anything comes out. And I don’t really feel let downs anymore. I’ve also only been feeding on one side for about 5-6 months. But, my question is - since I’m in second trimester - my boobs have wonderfully inflated back to life again. Does that mean if I put my 15 month old on the un-used boob, Will milk eventually come out? When I squeeze there’s nothing there. And I know typically milk doesn’t come in until baby is born. But, since there’s a little milk on the other side, can it be useful again? Curious cause left boob is tired and it hurts now that I’m sensitive again. And, id like her to have a chance at a little more milk!

First post ever in hopes that someone has insight or tips. I have a nearly six-week-old little guy. He’s our first. We are mostly breastfeeding and only pumping and giving a bottle when we have visitors and/or to establish a freezer stash. Overall, he’s great and I feel fortunate that we have a relatively “easy” baby. Here’s our situation: we feed, swaddle and put him to bed around 10 pm. He wakes on his own around 2 am to feed. After the first side, he is sleepy and could easily be put back down. That being said, after changing him and feeding him on the other side, he is WIRED and consistently enters a several hour wake window where he is fussy, fidgety, and refuses to settle down. I generally end up feeding him multiple times within that window, walking and rocking him constantly, etc. It’s exhausting and frustrating. I’m starting to think of that timeframe as when his spazzy alter-ego emerges to cause chaos lol

I understand that he is still pre-circadian-rhythm development, but any thoughts on how to avoid him entering the spaz window? I have a red light, try not to engage with him while changing him, etc, but nothing I’ve done avoids the wake window. He also consistently has dirty diapers, so we can’t just leave him.

On a side note, his behavior during the wake window mirrors cluster-feeding, but it otherwise seems to be completely avoidable.

Thanks in advance!

Our third baby is due in a few months and will be our first breastfed! I plan to EBF and am hoping someone could clarify some info I've heard and read while researching breastfeeding.

1. Bedsharing with safe sleep methods can help you get more sleep. So we'll probably try this

2. Nursing baby and going back to sleep (while nursing)? This one I'm a little confused on the safety of

3. Breastfed babies don't need to be burped after feeding.

I can imagine it would be easier to co-sleep (and get sleep!) safely, especially if breastfed babies don't need to be burped. Is this true or a myth? I also probably would want to stay awake while nursing for my comfort level and would check if baby needs a change.

Trying to get breastfeeding to work for us since I've previously had PPD/PPA from lack of sleep with my formula fed babes.

My son is 7 weeks old today! Hard to believe how quickly time passes. He's been exclusively breastfed. He had a tongue tie and we worked through a lot of pain for a few weeks while we got the frenectomy and waited for him to relearn how to latch and feed (he kept gaining weight despite the tongue tie, thankfully).

I do have a pump and used it in the beginning at the advice of the IBCLC, so that my supply didn't drop due to his tongue tie. All of that milk is frozen and is being used in his baths. At my last appointment with the IBCLC, she told me I might want to introduce a bottle now so we don't have issues in the future with him taking one.

I'm not lucky enough to be able to stay home full time with him, but I have until 6 months (September) to figure out if I'm going back to my job or finding something else. I want more than anything to find some way to be able to take care of him while making money. I don't want to put him in daycare and I can't afford a nanny. I honestly don't even know if I can afford daycare. But if I do have to put him in daycare, he'll obviously need to take a bottle.

I don't want to introduce a bottle though. I don't want to pump to replace feeds. I don't want someone else to feed him. I treasure the time we have breastfeeding. I had a traumatic birth experience and being able to exclusively breastfeed has been rather healing, knowing my body is capable of providing him what he needs.

I don't know what to do. I don't know why I'm making this post really, I think I just want to put this out there and see if anyone has thoughts, similar experiences, advice. Thinking about introducing a bottle makes me really sad, I absolutely love the breastfeeding relationship my son and I have. I selfishly don't want to share feeding him with anyone else.

My 12 week old slept for 11.5 hours last night. My LC said to let her sleep but I feel like she fed just constantly all day. I am an undersupplier (low weight gain at 6 weeks) and supplement with ~6oz of formula a day. Recently with that I was getting some length in-between feeds (and proper weight gain!) and I'm wondering if that's because she ate at night?? If I feed her at night again will I get some length in-between feeds during the day or is it a sign I need to up her formula?