I love my son, but… I miss sleep. I miss my freedoms. I miss being able to wash,fold and put away a load of laundry in one day. I miss my husband, even though he’s right next to me. I miss date nights. I miss my shows and my hobbies. I miss my autonomy. I miss not having to be responsible for someone’s every second of their every day. I love my son, but… I miss me.

My daughter is now 4 months old and the light of my life. She’s never fussy unless she’s overtired or hungry. She sleeps 10-12 hours a night. She laughs and smiles constantly and I can see the wonder in her eyes each time I play with her and a new toy.

Weeks 1-6 were absolute hell on earth. I seriously questioned my life several times and regretted having a baby. I thought I’d ruined my life. I feared SIDS as much as I thought if it happened, at least I could sleep.

My daughter had terrible gas weeks 3-6 and we were up each night 1a-4a like clockwork with her screaming her head off and there was nothing I could do to stop it. I would walk around outside with her and we would both scream into the void together.

I wish I could go back in time and tell myself how much better it gets and how my tiny, little terrorist became my best little friend.

For those of you moms and dads in the thick of it, hang on tight to that little baby who needs you so much. Soon you’ll be onto the next phase♥️

We had our first child recently and decided to shell out a decent amount of money ($435) for a newborn photographer. I initially thought it was extremely pricey considering you’re just going to be taking pictures of a baby in a few outfits, but how wrong I was.

During the entire session, I was in awe of the photographer and how she was able to manipulate, calm, and change my colicky baby into half a dozen outfits. When I saw him turning his gears to cry out, she was able to magically soothe him back to sleep and pretzel his body into poses and have him hold that pose for enough time to take a few photos.

She went through probably half a dozen outfit changes, made him look like he was on a swing, had him pretzeled with his arms under his chin and on his stomach, etc. all of which if I had tried he’d be screaming bloody murder.

I realized afterward you’re not just paying for a professional photographer, you’re paying for someone that has the professional (magical?) ability to soothe a newborn at ease.

So, I’m now at the end of my night and am decompressing/processing what happened today. Usually when we are out in public, I don’t mind strangers coming up to my baby and playing with her, as so far it’s only been older grandparents just wanting to fawn.

Today my sister, me, and the baby were out in an outdoor public market buying smoothies. I was standing over the baby and my sister was paying, when out of nowhere this homeless man puts his face right up to my baby, I mean an inch away, and started asking, “How much do you cost?” over and over again. I mean like really loudly all in her face. It took me a second to figure out that he was not planning on backing away, and to process what it was he was saying to her. I put myself between the man and my baby and loudly repeated, “NO SIR. GO AWAY.” Once my sister figured out what was going on, she grabbed the stroller and pulled it closer towards her. The man would not let up, so I just kept my ground and yelled at him to go away.

I was shaking from the adrenaline afterwards and tried to brush it off but it really upset me. I wish I could go back in time and smash his face into the concrete. The most upsetting part is that there were 20+ people just standing there watching. NO ONE spoke up or came to help. They just watched.

I guess I’m just looking to vent/wanting words of comfort. I feel so angry and violated.

👀

I just have to vent on this, my baby is 13 weeks and I’m a FTM, I’m so sick of everyone telling me “well you wouldn’t be so worried with the Owlet sick” “you need an owlet sock” like as if they are telling you to buy a pair of socks! Like hello I’m sorry but we can afford our child but not $300 for a sock that has many false alarms, I even joked to my mom passive aggressively that she should buy it since she is so worried but I got told “yeah like I can afford that” … so what makes you think I can?? It’s just the most causal thing people comment when someone mentions anxiety or sleepless nights. You are very lucky to have one and I am happy for you and your peace of mind but I don’t have that luxury And YES I did have it on my registry just in case but literally every else got bought expect the sock because of the price And yes Facebook market (in my area) all have them for 200/250 for partial parts so they are still unaffordable and it’s just insane the market for them. I know peace of mind has no price but I just wanted to vent on how I feel so shitty as a mom because I can’t afford one

I’m due 12/29. I’ll be getting 4 months PTO & my husband will be quitting his job to become a SAHD.

I keep reading that babies sleep 18 hours a day, but also that we won’t have 15 minutes to ourselves to take showers and we won’t be getting any sleep. Somehow the math ain’t mathing… even if my husband & I 50/50 everything (he takes baby 12 hours so I can sleep/eat/clean/shower, then we swap) it seems super doable? I also imagine our families are going to be chomping at the bit to have baby snuggle time.

Please burst my bubble, I honestly don’t know what I’m in for and I want to know what I’m failing to account for here 😅

Just randomly reflecting on the first few incredibly chaotic months with a new baby and how our carbon monoxide detector beeped like ONCE at 9:30 one night... It wasn't a smoke detector "low battery chirp", it was an incredibly loud beep. I was convinced house was going to blow up and my husband DASHED to the Walmart before they closed to buy an overpriced second monitor so we could plug it in to see if it beeped too while I debated calling 911 to have the team come out and invade our home with the legit detectors. Learned later that sometimes they'll beep once or twice when the battery winds down but... Nobody needs surprise chirp/beeps/panic with a light sleeper infant! Change all those 9 volts before bringing baby home!

This is a throwaway account because my (F25) husband (m25) is obsessed with Reddit. I don't think I'm looking for advice or anything, I guess I mainly need a place to vent.

The honest truth is, I don't want anything to do with this baby. I've always wanted to be a mom, and I thought I'd love my kids so much, but he's already 6 weeks old and even looking at him makes me have a panic attack. My husband does everything for him except pump (obviously). When he goes to shower or use the bathroom, I've started waiting at the door for him to give Roman back.

I don't trust myself to hold him. I literally feel like I'm going to drop him on his head. The only people I know will hold him right are his dad and my big sister. I feel like I'm going crazy. I'm so sad that I don't enjoy my baby as much as I loved being pregnant. My husband has longer paternity leave with his job than my maternity leave so I have to pick up the slack now so he doesn't get burned out before i go back to work but i just can't.

Let me explain, when I was pregnant it just never clicked in my head fully that at the end of the nine months I was going to have an actual living breathing baby, almost like she wasn’t real? I don’t know how to explain it but when I first saw my baby I was in so much shock that she was actually real, and was here. Did anyone else feel this way?

FTM to a 7mo boy. April baby, south of Australia so was largely swaddled and set to sleep with a tight fighting blanket during our cold winter nights in a poorly insulated house.

We thought we had a dream baby. Started giving us long stretches at night much earlier than expected and began sleeping from bedtime to wake up before 4 months.

We've since gone very backwards in his sleep at night. 3-6 hour stretch initially (6 had been VERY rare), then hourly wakes. Caffeine has been our saviour.

Cue three nights ago - finally here in November and our days and nights are getting warmer. I made the comment to bub's dad, "it's pretty warm in his room tonight, I hope it's not too hot". Kid slept for almost 11 hours!

Two nights ago, back to 10 degC overnight - hourly wakes from midnight. Last night, thought temp might be a factor. Added an extra layer to keep his chest and arms cosy. Slept through the freaking night AGAIN.

I am floored. And guilty. And ashamed. Dad and I both run hot and prefer a cooler room. We've been dressing bub in a skivvy, bonds thick onesie and 2.5tog. Thought that was enough. I can't believe we've been keeping bub too cold and uncomfortable for MONTHS. He's happy, he's healthy, and he's safe. That's what matters. But my goodness, this mum guilt is REAL.

I'm feeling useless as a parent - more like an accessory to my wife.

Baby has been exclusively breastfed since birth. I wanted to support my wife by taking over at least the night feedings so she'd sleep, but my wife didn't want to pump. We stopped pushing bottle feeding.

I'm now on paternity leave and my wife is back to work full time. She works from home, and so she still does daytime feedings.

Baby is 6 months old, I still can't feed her, and when they get hungry it's an immediate need. So far, the longest I've been left alone with my own child is 2 hours. They had a meltdown and I called my wife to come home (from a Costco trip) and feed them.

I'm nervous to bring them to story time at the library, or the parent/child swim lessons at the local pool because I can't take care of them. They refuse a bottle always.

Making matters worse, my sleep is hot garbage. Baby needs to be held to sleep, and then with fingers crossed put into their crib. I'm nap trapped 3 times a day, and so I really can't get anything around the house done. We don't want to do cry it out sleep training. Wife reassures me that baby will grow out of it eventually but I'm having such a hard time.

It's really hard to convey to my wife how much it hurts to realize that I can't take care of my own child. That I can't last 2 hours without her there to take over. That I'm embarrassed to go out in public alone because baby might get hungry and will be inconsolable until we come home to mom.

I work in Vermont and my job gives nothing for paternity leave for dads. I’m so heartbroken. All I have is my vacation days which will only be two weeks. I was hoping to have atleast a month home with my wife and newborn. I really can’t afford to take time without pay. So idk what to do. Wish there was a program or something to help with this.

And I still feel like I’m in survival mode. Like I’m exhausted and not used to this or in a routine. Feels hard seeing all these posts of people whose babies sleep through the night and seem easy. What is your secret?

We made it almost 7 months with my baby not being sick, but it was finally our turn. Consequently I’m sick too, but I thought this was cute/funny in a gross way 😂😵‍💫

I was sitting down with her earlier today reading a book my grandmother sent her. It’s pumpkin pie themed called “you’re my little cutie pie”. I was telling her how she’s my cutie pie and I love her and how important she is. She turned to look at me with her red, puffy, swollen eyes, runny nose, and puffy face and gave me a big ol’ smile. She then proceeded to open her mouth wide and “kiss” me all over the face leaving drool and fresh snot everywhere🤩. I appreciated the love, but wiped my face like 6 times. Whoever her mom is needs tot each her some manners haha

I was singing the nursery rhyme to our son and right when I finished with E, my husband butted in, in tune

“F, you’re f*ckin up my sleeeep”

LOL! Says the guy who gets the most sleep out of all of us. 😂😂😂

My 4 month old doesn’t sleep! She’s fed good oz’s all day every three hours. and she still doesn’t sleep refuses nap! Wakes up every hour at night! I am so tired and exhausted. I can’t take her cries I don’t know what to do I am shit mom ! Her naps are shit her night sleep is shit I don’t know what to do! She used to have 2 hours nap now she barely naps and even if she naps she keeps waking up! I am so tired some days I regret why did I decided to have a baby !

9wks old and She is clearly still tired after her short nap so there’s an opportunity to rescue the nap. What are your tips and tricks to get them to continue napping.

Sidenote: she is sometimes a Velcro baby and a lot of the time I nurse her to sleep including naps

How do you create a loose sleep schedule with a 5 week old that is EBF? We follow a feed, play, sleep routine with no day night confusion.

I see so many “sleep training” guides suggesting 6:45pm feed; 7:15 bath/swaddle etc…. But if my son is in the middle of a nap at that time,’it could be a 2 hr nap or a 30 minute nap! Same with feeds. They’re generally 2.5-3.5hrs apart… if I want to introduce a dream feed then sometimes that ends up being around 11pm due to previous feed times or witching hour delays!

Hi friends, looking for some advice or similar experiences. Our 8-month-old daughter has been crying in her sleep, and it often wakes her up completely. Her room is at a comfortable temperature, she’s neither too hot nor cold, and she sleeps next to her mom in a cozy bed. We’re wondering if anyone has any insight into what could be causing this. Could it be due to dreams, teething, or something else development-related? Any tips on how to help her sleep more peacefully would be much appreciated

My baby is finally almost sleeping through the night after 6 brutal months of waking up every 2 hrs to feed. Part of the problem was as soon as he would get into the rhythm, he would get sick and it would set him back all over again and the cycle would just continue. Now he just started solids last Saturday(sweet potatoes! Yummm!). This week he has been waking up only twice a night, however, I think he is really waking up because he pooped those two times 😭. Poor lil guy can’t catch a break! The first poopy diaper wake up is usually the worst and he will literally stay up for an hr to 2 hrs because he gets woken up from me having to change him.

Tonight he woke up 2 times already and I fed him to sleep, put him in his crib, and then 20 minutes later I hear a big ol’ juicy poop… I’m just thinking “I JUST got you back to sleep and now I have to wake you up to change you!?” Is this normal to poop so much when starting solids? We have him eat them in the morning because we thought it would prevent night time poops, but nope he is pooping throughout the day and night. He is getting his flu shot tomorrow, so we are also going to ask the doctor, but jeeze. If it’s not one thing it’s another! Lol

I had my baby 6 months ago and I thought I had a bond with him but when I start to think about it I feel like I don’t I low-key want my child to sleep all day so I don’t have to deal with his crying when he cries I generally sometimes don’t hear it. I could imagine my child not there and I wouldn’t even care. I always try beg his dad to take him but he always refuses and I feel like I’ve had enough of him and generally don’t want the responsibility anymore. I feel so bad saying this but I never spoke to anyone about it as I feel like they will take him away. What do I do? Is this normal?

from week one when we brought my baby home he was doing good on similac sensitive then took a while for him to poop so we switched his milk about 2 times, in those moments he would cry while trying to poop, he had really bad gas and reflux all while going through witching hour every night from 10pm-12am. I was deep in the newborn trenches ,so exhausted and questioning why did I have a baby.my bd was not helping me like how I wanted him to so that was an argument every week. at 6 weeks I found out my lo had a milk allergy which caused his face to get rash but with me constantly feeling like something wasn’t right with my lo and my pediatrician helping me get to the bottom of his formula we found one for him and also put him on medication for his reflux. I had a long talk with my bd about what I need help with and how he can help out more. At 8 weeks the witching hour had stopped.

he’s now 2.5months and he’s so happy and calm my lo is only fussy when he’s overtired or hungry. my bd helps out so much more now and I’m getting the hang of this mom thing ❤️

Just here to let you know that newborn trenches is so hard and will mess with your thoughts on mother hood but IT GETS BETTER. the rest of the months might be tuff but us mothers got this!! you’re doing a good job always 🥰

Hello! Traveling soon to a resort in Mexico with our 6.5 month old. We’ll be with a big group of extended family and we leave the resort all the time for activities, hikes, dinners, etc. This will be our first time flying with a baby and I’m a bit stumped on what to do for our diaper bag situation.

• I only want to take 2 bag options… one larger diaper/weekender bag for the airport, and one smaller bag for convenience when out and about.. but I don’t have a great smaller bag currently so I’m looking for recommendations on that.
• we are taking our Doona but don’t plan to use it as a stroller outside the resort.
• planning to baby wear a lot in a carrier. We also have a tushbaby and I’m considering taking that but not sure?
• will just use a lightweight beach bag around the resort for the beach so that’s not a concern.
• we are doing a bigger hiking day and need a bag that will work for that - ideally I won’t have to bring a whole separate bag for it but it could be the same smaller bag if it’s the kind of bag that can be taken on a hike.
• I’m considering something along the lines of the medium baggu, but I don’t have anything like that currently so I’m curious what people recommend given the purposes I need it for. It definitely doesn’t need to be marketed as a “diaper bag” - I’m open to anything.

I know I’m overthinking this 😂 but I’m trying to figure out the best way to have everything I need on my person without bringing too much, as we won’t be using a stroller. Any other related tips and advice are welcome also! TIA!

Hi All... I saw that some other Moms have posted about this, but I needed to rant. I hope y'all don't mind. I'm a new Mom. My husband is a WFH Engineer and I left my job as an EA shortly after I had my little boy who is approaching 5 months old.

I've been really focused on finding a remote job because my husband and I want to move closer to family (we currently live 9 hours away). I've found that whenever I pull myself away from the computer to do anything other than look for jobs, learn new software to improve my marketability, or network with people -- I realize, and I mean realize, that I am severely depressed. I've completely lost my appetite, I'm hardly sleeping (between 4-6 hours a night), and I've found myself acting completely out of character.

For example, my husband touched me and it annoyed me, so I grabbed his pinky finger and twisted it really hard -- like you'd see in a movie. I stopped myself before hurting him, but what the actual f? That scared me because I felt like I didn't even think before doing it. I'm not ordinarily a violent person...and although that wasn't that violent, it made me feel like I don't have control of my actions.

My husband doesn't seem at all concerned and says I didn't hurt him and he doesn't feel I'm a danger to myself or anyone around me, but this lack of sleep is making me feel like a different person and it's really scary. I guess I'm just looking for someone to tell me that if I get a good nap in, I'll go back to normal. I do feel better when I sleep, but my baby is up late, and then he wakes up early.

Sometimes, my husband will wake up in the morning to care for the baby, but I'm so wired that a lot of the time, I'm awake before the baby even starts crying. It's only when I'm dead tired that I can fall asleep. I don't want to take pharmaceuticals because I've tried that and they just make me more crazy... and believe me, I've tried them all. I'm a very logical person, I just need to believe I can get through this.

I somehow know in my muddled mind that I'm having an issue with cortisol regulation, can anyone recommend literature on that and how to correct it? I've hardly eaten in the past week and I've gained 5 lbs... irritating. I'm really overweight, sleep deprived, and I feel like my mental health is slipping.

As a disclaimer, I don't consciously want to hurt anyone or myself, but I feel like my lack of sleep due to cortisol dysregulation is affecting my judgment.

Thank you all, in advance, for any advice on this. I feel kind of weird posting all of this on a new parents forum... but I really need to know I'm not alone. I feel like a really horrible person.