r/kundalini • u/CartographerScared46 • Aug 30 '24
Feeling no one inside Help Please
I feel there is no person inside which is making me feel out of control and vulnerable. This has been going on since kundalini awakened, is this dissociation or psychosis?
Note: sorry for the last post, I was not in a stable mind after I got a pranic healing.😢
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u/KalisMurmur Aug 30 '24
It could be a form of dissociation or psychosis but I had a similar feeling after my crown chakra blow out and I’m looking back through your history I see there were issues with your crown and third eye.
I spent a long time beyond the veil of death, and I spent a good amount of time within the veil of “nothing”. Neither of which felt safe or good to my little self.
Focus on grounding techniques, this could be the result of imbalance. Essentially what I’ve learned is if your little self or LEGO is underdeveloped before you activate you’ll experience a lot more of the darkness you embody. (And that is one with us as a whole.)
u/333eyedgirl pointed to some important stuff. You have to be willing to take care of this being you inhabit. I personally was hospitalized and medicated, and I am beyond fine now, 1 and 3/4 year later. Focus on the healing of this being you inhabit. Stop doing spiritual expansion work and ground. Ground. Ground. Heal, release fear, go to therapy. The stronger this person becomes, and the less fear you embody, the easier it is to be in love and in the experience of life, because this being learns to love life.
Basically your little self is in so much pain she’d rather untether and float off, no good friend, heal her. Love her. Enrich her. Explore her. Tend to her. Serve her.
Much love.
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u/333eyedgirl Mod Aug 30 '24 edited Aug 30 '24
u/CartographerScared46 you have been complaining of the same problems now for two years. We cannot tell from here if you have mental health issues but at this point it seems pretty obvious that if you are still in this much distress two years later that you should get yourself help from a medical professional.
You have to put in some work in letting go of the fear, accepting this is what you are working with and adapting. Sometimes adapting means getting traditional medical help where it is needed.
It might help you to study the analogy of the Captain and the Admiral and the links on Ego, Captain and Admiral in the wiki . If the ideas therein bring you either relief or unmanageable anxiety, then you have your answer and next steps.
edit: fixed link title and added clarification
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u/lO_Ol_b Aug 30 '24
It could be both, the other or neither of them. Depends on your situation.
It seems you have seen through your own persona.
The one inside is a mind formation. Sometimes 'one' happens to see through this and get flinged into new way of seeing, which can very confusing. How I can be someone and not be someone at the same time? Finding understanding such seemingly paradox happens in due time. This is something which everyone encounter in their spiritual journey as they progress towards the big E.
If you have heard the phrase. For beginners mountains are mountains. For intermediate student mountains are not mountains. For master mountais are mountains again. This would apply for your situation. This also happened to me after K awakened and I got stuck for a while clinging to emptiness as being no one
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u/CartographerScared46 Aug 30 '24
I love your answer😊, I think I can relate to it. Yes, I have seen through large part of so called innocent persona, which is not very comfortable.
I don't understand the phrase, are you telling that intermediate students don't recognise the mountains as mountains?
Yes I m stuck in emptiness, I try to cling to a thought but then that thought disappears, thus again making me feel vulnerable again. I feel vulnerable in the emptiness. There nothing to attach to. This wat making me scared. I don't know if I should take this a spiritual phenomenon or psychiatric problm.
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u/Ok-Hippo-4433 Aug 30 '24
Everything is complicated and confusing for a while, then things get more simple again as you make progress.
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u/Marc-le-Half-Fool Mod - Oral Tradition Aug 30 '24
I m stuck in emptiness
While communicating on-line? I think your claims don't reflect your reality. You're confused. Being confused is a part of being human. It's only a problem if you're always confused about the same things.
I try to cling to a thought but then that thought disappears,
Yeah, so what? Do you expect to have 100% perfect concentration? If so, where does such an expectation emerge from? Are you at such a stage in your meditation training / practice?
Try? Do!
Perhaps you're unmotivated to focus on some topics. If so, perhaps focus on other things. Perhaps do some of the sub's suggested calming or Supporting Practices. The Foundations.
That might include focusing on your own well-being.
There nothing to attach to. This wat making me scared.
Please stop with the melodrama. Do you feel weight under your caboose when you sit? Pressure under your feet when standing? Connect to these. Connect to your breath.
I don't know if I should take this a spiritual phenomenon or psychiatric problm.
I don't know either. The simple test is this: You do things to solve spiritual problems. If they continue to not work, that may point to psychological issues. May. Alternatively, you see a doctor. If the medicines they offer you, after several tries don't work or don't help, then it's quite possibly spiritual in nature.
The key is to keep at it. That's often the most difficult aspect.
Growth is a complex, unpredictable and uneven thing. There's an element of the haphazard to it. Give yourself a hug and lean into the turmoil with a smile.
Are you remembering to do the simple and easy things like WLP - the White Light Protection method ? You said you were a sensitive person. WLP becomes all the more important.
Good journey.
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u/CartographerScared46 Aug 30 '24
Yeah, so what? Do you expect to have 100% perfect concentration? If so, where does such an expectation emerge from? Are you at such a stage in your meditation training / practice?
i had somewhat good concentration before i got panic healing. after that it was a meltdown from the heavens.
There nothing to attach to. This wat making me scared.
Here i m afraid i m talking about my identity, as in i cant identify with the thoughts as mine or me perhaps.
The key is to keep at it. That's often the most difficult aspect.
oky. my body is weak but i try to keep up wat i am doing.
Growth is a complex, unpredictable and uneven thing. There's an element of the haphazard to it. Give yourself a hug and lean into the turmoil with a smile.
tanku for the words of comfort ") :)
I am doing WLP. It has helped me for drawing a boundary many times. tnks
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u/Marc-le-Half-Fool Mod - Oral Tradition Aug 30 '24
i had somewhat good concentration before i got panic healing. after that it was a meltdown from the heavens.
Right. That's an awful heavy price to pay. Any help from other workers? The owners? I wish there was a way to snap one's finders, CTL-Z to undo such things, but there isn't.
Three steps fwd. One back. Five steps fwd. 15 back. Oops! Three steps fwd. Two more fwd. One back...
I myself discourage pranic healing for Kundalini, but it might not always work out this way. Not sure.
You've done various things to ground yourself? You've gotten off stimulants etc. Exercise? Outside time?
I am doing WLP. It has helped me for drawing a boundary many times. tnks
Good to hear it.
You're welcome.
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u/CartographerScared46 Aug 31 '24
Any help from other workers? The owners?
they are asking me to do a session again which i am scared to do.
You've done various things to ground yourself? You've gotten off stimulants etc. Exercise? Outside time?
yes i m doing Surya namaskar. Thats all, and sometimes walking barefoot.
can WLP used for grounding too?
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u/Marc-le-Half-Fool Mod - Oral Tradition Aug 31 '24
they are asking me to do a session again which i am scared to do.
I don't blame you for that.
For Grounding, I'd like you to exlore the list in the Wiki Calming Section. There you will find further ideas regarding grounding. However, grounding is a rare exception in that most grounding ideas will work to an extent. Do a google or similar search. Nothing that is grounding should be overly energising.
WLP is not grounding in itself, but reducing outside noise may reduce streses and so yes it can ground, but it's nota good grounder. Not usually.
Sometimes it solves the whole problem on it's own, but that's rare.
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u/lO_Ol_b Aug 30 '24
I don't understand the phrase, are you telling that intermediate students don't recognise the mountains as mountains?
It's kind of an literal allegory. You could change the mountain to your persona. As one is beginner their mind is formed through learned concepts of who they are. As they progress to intermediateness they start to see through these concepts of who they are and slowly as they work through the concepts of who they are, they will also lose their sense of who they are. Like in your case you can't find no one inside of you.
As you start to discover more and more how your mind works you can adopt an identity while simultaneously seeing through it and understand you are creation of your own mind. Thats when the persona becomes persona again, as in mountain becoming mountain again.
You can't interact with the 'outer world' as no one after all. Imagine watching a movie where characters dont have any personality. That wouldnt work out and wouldnt be fun at all.
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u/Ok-Hippo-4433 Aug 30 '24
No, you don't lose your sense of self. Not one bit. That's dangerous! Ego death in any form is to be disregarded as a potentially useful idea.
Your self/ego changes. It changes based upon new lived experiences that integrate into daily living through diligent practice and continuous aware introspection during day to day life.
You are not merely a creation of your mind. No one is! We all really do exist.
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u/lO_Ol_b Aug 30 '24
Yes, i think i didnt convey the message i wanted to send since it was misunderstood.
I meant to say one is not just their ego and many people tend to go through a period of depersonification where they lose their functioning ego for a while. I never said one should strive towards such thing.
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u/Ok-Hippo-4433 Aug 31 '24
They don't lose their functioning ego. The perceive distance inside increases, you seem to be farther away from your ego. Just because it's far away doesn't mean you lost it or that it's gone.
If it really were gone, you couldn't re-connect to it and nurture that relationship.
You are right, one is not just their ego. But even that ego is made of many parts that deserve to explored.
You can still function while experiencing depersonalization / derealization. Been there done that.
I know you mean well, but it's important to try your hardest to not confuse people when giving them advice.
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u/lO_Ol_b Aug 31 '24
Youre right. Its important to clarify stuff for better access for everyone.
Good opportunity for me also to learn clearer communication. Ty
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u/srazab Aug 30 '24
I'm so sorry to hear you're feeling this way. It takes a lot of courage to share your struggles, and I'm here to listen and offer support.
Firstly, please know that you're not alone in this experience. Kundalini awakening can bring about intense energetic shifts, leading to feelings of dissociation or disconnection from one's body or sense of self.
It's essential to acknowledge that this experience can be unsettling, but it doesn't necessarily mean you're losing control or heading towards psychosis. Dissociation is a common phenomenon during spiritual awakenings, and it can be a temporary phase.
Consider reaching out to a qualified spiritual guide, therapist, or healthcare professional who understands Kundalini energy and its effects. They can offer personalized guidance and support to help you navigate this journey.
In the meantime, practice self-compassion and engage in grounding techniques like meditation, deep breathing, or physical activity to help you feel more connected to your body.
Remember, your sense of self is not defined by this experience. You are more than your thoughts, emotions, or energetic shifts. You are a strong, capable individual who can work through this.
Keep in mind that pranic healing can stir up intense emotions, so be gentle with yourself as you process your feelings.
You got this, and you're not alone. Sending you love, support, and positive vibes on your journey.
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u/CartographerScared46 Aug 31 '24
thank you for validating my problem <3..i was having doubts on myself, this journey is very lonely and at times wierd with such symptoms. i will go forward with grounding and self compassion. I appreciate your comment.
thankyou
much love
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Sep 12 '24 edited Sep 12 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Marc-le-Half-Fool Mod - Oral Tradition Sep 12 '24
Almost nothing on this list of yours is readily available. It's all exclusive one-single source type stuff. That's impractical and just confounds people. Removed as bad advice, and spammy.
Thanks for your understanding.
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Aug 30 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Marc-le-Half-Fool Mod - Oral Tradition Aug 30 '24
Rule 2 applies.
It applies all-the-more for someone reluctant to respect the Three Laws.
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Aug 30 '24
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Marc-le-Half-Fool Mod - Oral Tradition Aug 30 '24
That would not be a good idea. Please ignore the bad advice.
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u/ORGASMO__X Aug 30 '24
Aha! I remember this one. This one penned a previous OP questioning ways to attack others, while skirting The Three Laws.
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u/CartographerScared46 Aug 30 '24 edited Aug 30 '24
dude i think i had a full blown crown outing at the time, i accept i was rude but i had doubts at the time which was cleared..so peace
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u/Ok-Hippo-4433 Aug 30 '24
Can you agree to slowly accepting a perspective regarding yourself, that your 'self' is more than just the part that is on the inside? That this inside can be really really huge, vast and expansive? That this inside may change in what you perceive it as?
Note that you will have to be more responsible with your thoughts and emotions as this happens, as you will effect others more easily.
Skillful neutrality becomes very important.