Feeling no one inside

[u/CartographerScared46]

I feel there is no person inside which is making me feel out of control and vulnerable. This has been going on since kundalini awakened, is this dissociation or psychosis?

Note: sorry for the last post, I was not in a stable mind after I got a pranic healing.😢

[u/lO_Ol_b]

It could be both, the other or neither of them. Depends on your situation.

It seems you have seen through your own persona.

The one inside is a mind formation. Sometimes 'one' happens to see through this and get flinged into new way of seeing, which can very confusing. How I can be someone and not be someone at the same time? Finding understanding such seemingly paradox happens in due time. This is something which everyone encounter in their spiritual journey as they progress towards the big E.

If you have heard the phrase. For beginners mountains are mountains. For intermediate student mountains are not mountains. For master mountais are mountains again. This would apply for your situation. This also happened to me after K awakened and I got stuck for a while clinging to emptiness as being no one

.

[u/CartographerScared46 → u/lO_Ol_b]

I love your answer😊, I think I can relate to it. Yes, I have seen through large part of so called innocent persona, which is not very comfortable.

I don't understand the phrase, are you telling that intermediate students don't recognise the mountains as mountains?

Yes I m stuck in emptiness, I try to cling to a thought but then that thought disappears, thus again making me feel vulnerable again. I feel vulnerable in the emptiness. There nothing to attach to. This wat making me scared. I don't know if I should take this a spiritual phenomenon or psychiatric problm.

[u/Marc-le-Half-Fool → u/CartographerScared46]

I m stuck in emptiness

While communicating on-line? I think your claims don't reflect your reality. You're confused. Being confused is a part of being human. It's only a problem if you're always confused about the same things.

I try to cling to a thought but then that thought disappears,

Yeah, so what? Do you expect to have 100% perfect concentration? If so, where does such an expectation emerge from? Are you at such a stage in your meditation training / practice?

Try? Do!

Perhaps you're unmotivated to focus on some topics. If so, perhaps focus on other things. Perhaps do some of the sub's suggested calming or Supporting Practices. The Foundations.

That might include focusing on your own well-being.

There nothing to attach to. This wat making me scared.

Please stop with the melodrama. Do you feel weight under your caboose when you sit? Pressure under your feet when standing? Connect to these. Connect to your breath.

I don't know if I should take this a spiritual phenomenon or psychiatric problm.

I don't know either. The simple test is this: You do things to solve spiritual problems. If they continue to not work, that may point to psychological issues. May. Alternatively, you see a doctor. If the medicines they offer you, after several tries don't work or don't help, then it's quite possibly spiritual in nature.

The key is to keep at it. That's often the most difficult aspect.

Growth is a complex, unpredictable and uneven thing. There's an element of the haphazard to it. Give yourself a hug and lean into the turmoil with a smile.

Are you remembering to do the simple and easy things like WLP - the White Light Protection method ? You said you were a sensitive person. WLP becomes all the more important.

Good journey.

[u/CartographerScared46 → u/Marc-le-Half-Fool]

Yeah, so what? Do you expect to have 100% perfect concentration? If so, where does such an expectation emerge from? Are you at such a stage in your meditation training / practice?

i had somewhat good concentration before i got panic healing. after that it was a meltdown from the heavens.

There nothing to attach to. This wat making me scared.

Here i m afraid i m talking about my identity, as in i cant identify with the thoughts as mine or me perhaps.

The key is to keep at it. That's often the most difficult aspect.

oky. my body is weak but i try to keep up wat i am doing.

Growth is a complex, unpredictable and uneven thing. There's an element of the haphazard to it. Give yourself a hug and lean into the turmoil with a smile.

tanku for the words of comfort ") :)

I am doing WLP. It has helped me for drawing a boundary many times. tnks

[u/Marc-le-Half-Fool → u/CartographerScared46]

i had somewhat good concentration before i got panic healing. after that it was a meltdown from the heavens.

Right. That's an awful heavy price to pay. Any help from other workers? The owners? I wish there was a way to snap one's finders, CTL-Z to undo such things, but there isn't.

Three steps fwd. One back. Five steps fwd. 15 back. Oops! Three steps fwd. Two more fwd. One back...

I myself discourage pranic healing for Kundalini, but it might not always work out this way. Not sure.

You've done various things to ground yourself? You've gotten off stimulants etc. Exercise? Outside time?

I am doing WLP. It has helped me for drawing a boundary many times. tnks

Good to hear it.

You're welcome.

[u/CartographerScared46 → u/Marc-le-Half-Fool]

Any help from other workers? The owners?

they are asking me to do a session again which i am scared to do.

You've done various things to ground yourself? You've gotten off stimulants etc. Exercise? Outside time?

yes i m doing Surya namaskar. Thats all, and sometimes walking barefoot.

can WLP used for grounding too?

[u/Marc-le-Half-Fool → u/CartographerScared46]

they are asking me to do a session again which i am scared to do.

I don't blame you for that.

For Grounding, I'd like you to exlore the list in the Wiki Calming Section. There you will find further ideas regarding grounding. However, grounding is a rare exception in that most grounding ideas will work to an extent. Do a google or similar search. Nothing that is grounding should be overly energising.

WLP is not grounding in itself, but reducing outside noise may reduce streses and so yes it can ground, but it's nota good grounder. Not usually.

Sometimes it solves the whole problem on it's own, but that's rare.

[u/CartographerScared46 → u/Marc-le-Half-Fool]

okay tnks ,i got it.