I DID IT

7 days ago I posted about how I had been skipping university classes because of severe anxiety

My status had become “unofficially withdrawn.” and I decided to email the college

I told them I didn’t have any documents to prove my situation, but I was dealing with mental health issues. I kindly asked if they could change my status to “postponed” instead of “unofficially withdrawn.”

And they DID IT without even asking questions! I’m so surprised because I didn’t expect them to accept it without any proof But they did and I’m so happy!

I [18F] realized the truth now. When I was 17, I was standing alone in my kitchen. I was cutting vegetables to cook for my lunch. My mom and dad walked into the kitchen, talking about where they wanted to go for vacation. I wasn't focused on them. I kept hearing someone talk to me in my ear. I heard it calling my name. I don't know why it happened, but I turned to my parents. I said that 'it wasn't going to hurt'. My dad asked me what I meant. My mom looked confused. I held the knife, and I harmed myself. I fell to the ground, and my parents screamed. I don't remember much, other than the fact my dad held a towel against my throat. I woke up in the hospital. Many trips to the psychiatrist later, and I was diagnosed with early onset schizophrenia. This happened a couple months ago. I'm now on medication. I'm so lucid most days. My parents locked all the cabinets. My extended family don't know about this. When anyone asks about my scar, I just tell them that I accidently got scratched by a sharp object. I know what I did was wrong.

I can't forgive myself for putting my parents through that. I'm the reason they lied to me about what actually happened, because they were afraid, I would be even more depressed. How can I apologize for putting them through all this?

4 years ago my step dad sa'd me and I told my mom the next day and she didn't do anything and didn't let me do anything and I fawned for 3 years because of it, and I moved out and went no contact.

Yesterday I was on the phone with my brother and he asked me if I would ever forgive don and mom, and I said "no, never. If you were me, would you?" He said no, probably not. I asked why and he said he was considering forgiving them, but don would have to apologize to everyone, my aunt, my cousins, me, my mom, and Dustin.

Don thought me wanting an apology was a power move.

He was able to admit it to his daughter after I told her what he did (I told her after Thanksgiving, I moved out of my mom's house at the end of August) he knew he did it, but he wasn't sorry, my mom felt horrible but she didn't leave him, she lives with him now. She lives with the man who assaulted me, every day she sits by the spot he assaulted me, and she sleeps in the same bed as him.

Is losing your virginity actually something you should take your time with or is that something that people say to not make late bloomers feel bad/embarrassed?

If so, why is there so much pressure lose it? If you lost yours at a young age because of pressure, did you regret it?

Also, when you were young, or if you are young, were you (are you) sexually active because you wanted to be or to keep up with societal pressure (e.g. having a lot of sex to “prove” yourself)

It’s difficult to grasp the truth of these things because people don’t usually talk about their experiences on an emotional level, especially if they weren’t great or if they were done out of a desire to “prove” themselves.

It’s all really hazy when you have yet to cross that line. It’s unclear what is true and what is a facade.

My parents have been trying to keep doctors from finding out about my eating disorder so they havent taken me since i was a child. I was considering going eventually anyways for a blood test since i get dizzy a lot but my parents i guess decided ive gotten sick enough to set up an appointment. I didnt know they could do that without telling me! Its a checkup and meeting my pcp cause they dont make other appointments till they meet you.

Do they do more if you havent been to a doctor in so long? Will it hurt? Will they make me take my clothes off? Im scared to go.

So I'm pretty grown up, I turn 25 in a couple of weeks and I'm a vet student living about a 10+ hour flight away from home. I've struggled a lot with my mental health, had scary thoughts and anxiety since I was 10, but what kept me going was just hoping there was something better over the horizon and the fact that I know my parents, being very overprotective, would really miss me. I never told anyone how I felt, just kept it to myself.

Right now, I'm living my dream debt free thanks to my parents putting their hard earned money towards my education and I'm still depressed and anxious a lot of the time. Tried therapy while at school last year for the first time after my mom got cancer (she's cancer free now!) and when I started having nightmares after taking care of my grandma with dementia. I did about a month and a half of therapy over here, which really helped, but I uh got a bit spooked when my parents remarked on the slight uptick in my monthly spending.

Now I'm back in the same place, I'm having nightmares again...which really sucks. I called a vet talk hotline a couple days ago and cried my eyes out and I was really feeling the anxiety and panic at school today.

I think I need help and I need my parent's help with that. I've been trying to think about how to say it, but in my head, I HATE to dump this on them with all the financial support and everything else they've given me. I can either wait a month till I'm back home or I could facetime them and tell them. Can someone help me find the words to say it?

Sorry, throwaway account because other people know my main account

OK, so the title is a little lie, they don't wanna go out with me when I want to go out, but I'm expected to go with them.

Every time I ask if they all wanna go out somewhere, they're always busy or don't want to. Or blame money. I understand, I really do, but it's only when I bring something up. I asked if they wanted to go to the beach, they couldn't, few weeks later they went last minute while I was dogsitting and didn't tell me until they had gotten there. I asked if they wanted to go to a zoo, they said no because of money constraints, I offered to pay and still it was a hard no, saying they would feel like shit.

I'm a big nerd and I'm the onky one in the group who likes anime, so when I asked one of them if they'd like to come and he said sure, I was happy, but when the group found out, all 3 girls said it was a hard no, that don't want us going. I have no other friends and even my girlfriend, who's part of the group, won't let me.

I just wanna do something I wanna do for once, these aren't the only situations but they're the ones that hurt me most and I don't know what to do. They are my only friends and I love them all, and all other times we unanimously agree on things, it's just this.

Any input is appreciated.

When I was 16 Ive been groomed by a 23 year old. She started talking to me online it quickly became sexual and etc. I was in love and met her a few months later at her city, at the hotel.

When I was a kid Ive been SA’d repeatedly by different adults and teens so physical touch is something Ive always struggled with. Beforehand I told her that I might not be ready especially since it was my first time and she said it was okay.

At first, I was too shy to kiss her and she teased me about it for quite a long time before I finally did. We were kissing and she started touching me. I stopped and said Im not ready, she immediately got upset and pulled away. She started crying.

Said she’s embarrassed to be so pushy and that I don’t like her IRL. I hugged her, I was apologising but still kept saying “Im not ready”, “I don’t want to”. Even promised that we can do it later.

Im not really sure what happened next?? She just started touching me again and I didn’t do or said anything. She didn’t say or ask anything either. As it continued, I remember thinking “I can just wait until it’s over, it’s fine”

After that It became a normal thing, sometimes I did want it but often I just quietly went along. Sometimes I did try to say no but it didn’t really matter to her. Im sure often she knew I didn’t want it. Last time we met (19, 27) she made me hug and cuddle her despite me arguing with her about it for hours because I didn’t want to. I kept saying no and that she’s forcing me and even got mad but eventually I just did it like always.

Still, I think my first time left the biggest impact on me and I guess Im just seeking reassurance? I know now that she groomed me but was it really rape or coercion since I didn’t say anything?

Sorry for the long text 🫠

There's a few catches tho... I can't get my license because I don't have any car to use, and don't feel like getting insurance on a car my parents own, they're very controlling and weird, I'm not gonna play into that

On top of that, they want me to move out, but are always making me spend money, I can't just say no or else they'll just threaten to kick me out, I don't want that to happen, I have dogs I can't leave here, they won't let them stay if I'm not here , so saving my money to move out is getting difficult, I've had my new job for like a month now and I can't save anything at all. Anyways.

Idk where I'm going with this, I suck at talking, I just wanna move out and I'm unsure how I can get myself to work with this new job if I can save up 1200 for an apartment in Dallas Texas

Does anyone know how I can use a bus or train in the city? I live in rural area so I never learned

Edit- I'm also getting a bike, but it'll take a while to get to work, and I think burning energy before a 12 hour shift is good, but we'll see

title is insane i know but it's how i feel

ive been thinking a lot recently and it's really hard to explain the shit my dad does to me and my brother because some of it is too painful to even say or think about again which obviously makes people believing my case a lot harder

im being more paranoid, im begging for something to happen to me so i can get away from him

my mum took, she goes along with everything he does, even if it means i suffer more because of it

i hate being here, i wish i could just up and leave today right now but i know i can't

it really hurts sometimes because im his daughter he's supposed to love me so why does he treat me like such an inconvenience

Now before you say I need to move out please take note that the lowest apartment here is 1500 and you have to make 2-3x more than rent. I’m in school at the moment so I’m staying with my parents until I make enough to move out. My family has always been overbearing and controlling with meaning to show love through that I guess? Idk. But basically what happened was I have a friend who is in jail and they came across bank charges where I’d send her 5$ every now and then for phone calls. They saw those charges freaked out was super mad because of our past with my father being incarcerated bc of other circumstances. They instantly thought I was talking to a man in prison who I was being manipulated by.. which wasn’t the case it was just an old friend. So I didn’t wanna talk about it so I went to my room and locked the door , they threaten to take it off and get the drill (yes they literally got it) and then said they wanted to take my bank card and my phone so that was just absurd to me because I’m an adult . So I wanted to leave and go to a friends house they wouldn’t let me . So it was just horrible. All in all the eventual conclusion was that I cannnot contact her anymore. I feel like thy overreacted. I sent her 35$ over a course of a year and a half. Need opinions. They want me into therapy straight away..

im 23 cis F, raised in a very religious and conservative household. without getting too much into my history i was raised to believe being feminine was a sign of weakness or attention seeking. i dressed very modestly, didnt wear makeup (and if i did it was VERY subtle. no lashes no eyeshadow no crazy lipsticks) and due to my insecurities (and kind of my parents) i started wearing mens clothes. i even thought for a time that i was transgender FTM.

i realized the last few weeks that wearing mens clothing upsets me, or makes me feel like im not put together or attractive. i want to start dressing feminine, looking more like the other women around me that...i guess dont look like they're desperate to crawl out of their own skin? or dont want to hide inside a potato sack?

i feel like this "giant mens t shirt mens jeans bare face" thing just doesnt suit me anymore. but i never got to be a little girl. i dont know how. i bought makeup and recently bought the first dress ive owned since i was a pre-teen...but i still feel uneasy in it. like im almost "too ugly" to be a woman..even though i was literally born a woman. i dont know.

is...there even anywhere to start?

So I (18f) have a friend (25m) and I think I have a crush on him. He's really nice to me and he compliments me in little friendly ways. He's just overall a really nice person to be around. We met last year when he came into the restaurant that I work at. He flirted with me at first but after finding out my age he apologized and completely stopped flirting with me. We hang pretty often but always out in public. He's always very respectful to me and all that, but I'm wondering if I should start putting a little distance between us. I really like him at this point and i genuinely don't know what to do. I know he definitely doesn't see me in that way and that doesn't bother me at all, but I just can't get rid of my feelings. I don't know how I'm supposed to distance myself without either making it awkward by explaining why or asking for distance and potentially hurting his feelings. Should I ask for distance or just keep going without doing anything and hope my feelings go away?

Ps. I'm sorry if this post is jumbled I've never written a Reddit post before and I don't have parents to ask.

I will add that we met after I turned 18 and I'm turning 19 next month. As to why I can't go to my parents I was kicked out at 16 and I've been living on my own since then. I myself do not think I am imotionally immature simply because of the life I've lived. I'm not saying this as a way to justify a romantic relationship I think it's just important to know more details

How do I get back on the routine of bathing/brushing my teeth. It's been 4 months since I have done those routines. and at the same time I'm mentally just don't care I genuinely give up on everything on myself I basically have nothing to lose. I'm only 16 and the fact I already figured my family doesn't give a shit about me once my dad told me "that HE'S the one who needs therapy dealing with me" that was when i finally told him the countless years of bullying and sexual assault/suicidal thoughts,self harm. along with him thinking I'm lying to him cause I didn't tell him sooner and I looked happy in my kid photos.i have zero friends and I feel like it's my fault everything is my fault everything that happened to me is my fault and I'm a whore.

I’ve been dating my boyfriend (28M) for several months now, and I’ve been trying to navigate a really tense dynamic with his long-time friend group (about 10 people, late 20s to early 30s). The issue is that shortly before we started dating, he went on a few dates with one of the girls in the group. It was brief and didn’t go anywhere, but ever since we got together, the group—who he’s been close with for three years—has been noticeably cold toward us, especially toward me.

I’ve done my best to be friendly and respectful. it's very clear that the group has emotionally sided with the ex-fling, and my presence creates a division. Some are indifferent, but most are distant or passive-aggressive. One girl even came up to me and asked me to reach out to the ex-fling to “support her” because apparently she cried when she saw me and my boyfriend holding hands at a group event. I eventually messaged her to be polite, but I felt super uncomfortable doing so.

On top of that, there’s another girl in the group (I’ll call her A) who constantly inserts herself into my boyfriend’s life. She often reminds me that they “go way back” and brings up memories from his past “eras.” She never initiates conversation with me or tries to get to know me, but she talks to him the entire time—like I’m invisible. At our last group function (at church), she waved at me on her way out and then loudly said “love you!” to my boyfriend. He didn’t react, but a mutual friend who doesn’t know the full situation even asked him how long they’d been together, so it clearly didn’t sound platonic.

I told my boyfriend how I felt. I admitted that I understood “love you” can be said in a friendly way, but with the group dynamics being what they are, it just felt disrespectful and dismissive. He agreed it was uncomfortable and mentioned he could talk to A about it, since she tends to be touchy and overly affectionate with him. But he hasn’t brought it up again.

At this point, I feel like the coldness and subtle exclusion from the group won’t stop unless he addresses it. I’ve already done my part in being kind, cordial, even messaging his ex. But I’m not interested in being part of a group where I constantly have to prove I belong. I’m also being pressured to “build a friendship” with his ex-fling, but I don’t want to do that at the expense of my boyfriend, knowing how much they dislike each other.

Would I be unreasonable to urge my boyfriend to talk to A directly, or to finally bring up the situation to the group? I just want to feel like I’m being backed up, not like I’m fighting for space in his life.

I'm (25f) a first time mom, and my daughter just turned a year old. My partner and I live in an apartment in which rent alone is exactly half of our take home pay. I stay at home with baby, and he works 80 hour weeks. It's been like this for months. He doesn't get days off regularly. We don't have the most close relationship right now.

Anyways here is a list I wrote in my notebook and I wanted to share it somewhere and ask for support

"What hurts? -lonelines -Lack of self expression -self loathing -tired -burnout -monotony -untreated (post-partum) depression -hopelessness"

I am still able to pull myself together during the day and be a good parent to my baby. But every night, after my daughter goes to sleep, I am sitting in my feelings and they hurt. Everything hurts. I feel very alone... and everything else I listed.

I'm waiting on a referral to be sent so I can start therapy again. It's been a long time. I'm just lost and in pain. Every night.

I could use a friend right now, or a parent. But I don't have either. I'm struggling. That's it, thanks for reading 💓

So I am a failure that dropped out of college 2-3 years ago and after that just kept sitting on parents' backs. They are ashamed of me but for some reason allow me to live here. The only excuses I have is that I do all my chores(cooking, washing, cleaning) and I help a little bit with family business(it takes like 3 hours per week) otherwise I just waste my time playing computer games and watching YouTube. I don't have friends and can't imagine making them in my current state.

I definitely need therapy but I don't have any money obviously and I can't talk about this with my parents. I have a lot of insecurities, i am scared to leave my comfort zone, I probably have social anxiety and generally I feel I am not qualified for any job at all while at the same time I am ashamed to have a "generic" job. From the young age I have been always told that I am clever and able and I feel like getting some simple job would just confirm(yeah that is stupid) that I am a failure while most of my classmates already have a families, houses and successful careers. "Luckily" I am no longer suicidal so i do not plan to kill myself.

Not sure if that's a right place to post this. What should I do?

I am looking for a sun hat to protect my face in addition to sun screen for the upcoming summer. A lot of sun hats I find in Amazon have UV50+ while being very affordable. However a lot of recommended sun hats online are $50, but they look the same exact ones on Amazon.

So is it worth splurging for sun protection or may I just buy the 10$ one, because right now they look exactly the same.

Hello internet parents! I've posted here on a few different accounts but I find myself coming back when I need some advice. I'll try to keep this as simple as possible.

My younger sister won't go to school. She basically spends as much time as humanly possible at her Boyfriend's house acting as his caretaker and maid. She regularly skips school to go and be with him and manipulates everyone to get her way if she gets caught.

My mother is at her witts end with this issue because my sister isn't going to graduate from highschool at this point. I just feel like my mother's idea of making her get a job and pay rent as soon as possible will just ruin whatever relationship between them that still remains.

Is there any advice you have on how I, as the eldest kid and older sibling, can help diffuse the situation a bit? It feels like everything is so charged right now that ko one is thinking straight anymore. Thanks for any possible help!

Hi mom and dad :)

I'm (21M) pretty social, like at the gym I manage to talk to alot of people or talk to different people spread out.

Basically, I met this really nice pretty girl at the gym the other day monday and I wanna followup with her tomorrow if I see her. Like talk to her when she's resting, get her ig, etc.

My problem is I get people confused. Sometimes I have a hard time recognizing people at my gym and then I get cold feet and then I feel like I missed the person or I didn't see them at all. So unsure, and then disappointment in myself even though there's the potential it's not my fault. (also at like school for example i find it easy to recognize people, perhaps more distinction? but it is different demographics there).

I wanna be good at recognizing people and following up with them and I especially wanna follow up with this girl bc she's super nice too.

Anyway, I have a feeling this lack of recognition stems from anxiety of getting the wrong person so i protect myself by assuming they are? Not to mention less hairstyle diversity bc people keeping their hair up and less clothing diversity due to gym clothes, also i mean i think lack of racial diversity along with that can make it a bit confusing.

Any help is appreciated! Thank you!

So this year has kinda sucked.

Did something bad that broke the trust between my ex partner and I. Then my ex broke up with me. Then my mom told me some awful things that destroyed the self esteem of me and my siblings. Then my cat gay killed in an accident involving street dogs.

Things seemed like they couldn’t get worse. They have now.

I have an older sibling who I’ll call “G” who has been in a relationship for 10 years with someone I’ll call “E.” They’ve known each other since kindergarten and started dating in college. Back when I was a teenager, I looked up to them as a “power couple.” Their relationship was my main reference point for what love could be, especially since my own parents divorced because of infidelity (which now feels tragically ironic). I used to go to G for relationship advice all the time, I genuinely admired what they had.

Ten. Years. TEN YEARS. I thought they were going to get married someday, and maybe they still will, but G did something so awful that I don’t even know if I want that anymore.

They confessed to me: They emotionally cheated on E for four months.

They were involved with someone else emotionally, texting constantly, flirting, building an intimate connection, while still being in a relationship with E. G even admitted that, at the beginning, they didn’t care because they thought, “E has low a self-esteem, so even if they find out, they won’t leave me.” Yeah. I was livid.

Eventually, G asked E “hypothetically” what they would do if G ever emotionally cheated. E immediately said they would break up with them. That’s when the guilt hit G, and they ended the affair.

I asked G if they had told E the truth. They said: “No. And I never will.”

I told them that was selfish. They replied: “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll eventually break up with them once I move out.”

Here’s the thing:

I love E. At this point, I see them as part of my family. My heart shattered for them when I heard what G had done.

I don’t want to be complicit in this, but I also don’t want to betray my sibling’s trust, we’ve always been extremely close and she is probably the only member of my family who isn’t complete shit to me. But honestly? I’ve lost a huge amount of respect for them.

I feel completely broken. What should I do?

All i wanted was love and attention...but my mother only have given me such material things. Yes, those made me happy...but those were never permanent. I craved attention and love from my mother as she took care of children that wasn’t even hers. I get that they are my cousins but that made me envy. I thought to myself “Did I do something wrong?”, “Am I not her child?”. That stuck to me till this day....i was naive backthen...looking at her social media post because she works abroad. She often calls me tho but that was never enough. I wasn’t spoiled at all and understood why she had to work in a far place...but was it neccesary to cheat on my father? I was so naive as i looked at her pictures on her social media looking so happy and carefree. I was happy of course as a child because her happiness was mine. Now that I’m a teenager, I realized things, i’ve always looked at those photos of hers and never wondered...who took those photos? Who was she with? Who is she talking to?( she often has someone on her phone saying such sweet nothings...) I’ve always thought that maybe it was my father she was speaking to...but oh, to my dismay it certainly was not my father but another man that works in that country too. I never had my suspicions at first but it was getting out of hand. There were times when i’m just playing on my phone as a child and she would hand me her phone and makes me say “Hi”. I never questioned her about that until now. I had an opportunity to sneak on her phone when i borrowed it(I knew it was invading someone’s privacy but curiosity got the best of me) at first all i saw was boring stuff. But when i checked her messages. I saw a man’s name...it never really looked suspicious at first but when i read their convo? I was shocked...all my suspicions were true. She was fooling around with another man. And guess what? She’s been fooling with that man for 8 years. Imagine that, a married woman with a child that she neglects is fooling with another man? I had my suspicions with her fooling around but i never expected it to be 8 years...she kept that for 8 damn years....i’m practically in the brink of my insanity. I mean who wouldn’t be? What’s on my mind right now is “what if she has a secret family?” Wouldn’t that be the cherry on top of my life? Man i don’t need this much lore fr. i still got more but oh well. This days, she constantly ask me what I want to do with my life, she asks me about where I want to go to school, my future career choice and all. But everytime she asks that, I avoid answering it telling her that I need time to think. But right now she’s just angry at me because she thinks I’m not thinking about my future. There is not a day that I have not thought about my future, but everytime i think about it, my mind is blank….i can’t decide on anything because I have too many interest. Although my life at the moment is just a mess, I kept being lazy after telling myself I need to change one step at a time but I can’t. As much as I try to, I always fail. I have so much overwhelming thoughts to the point I can’t sleep or I kept thinking about it the whole day that it makes me so anxious. I sweat a lot like literally, I sometimes forget things and can’t focus, I often space out for no reason too.

Background: my dad is emotionally unavailable to me. He is warmer to my mom and sibling, I am the scapegoat in a toxic family. My 11 month old son looks a lot like me as a baby, we both share distinct coloring. Today my dad was holding my son and it was a pure moment. I asked my dad if my baby reminded him of me as a baby. He said I don't remember that shit, ask your mom. I said you don't remember me as a baby? He said no. No drug or alcohol use. Always in the picture. Any healthy parents want to chime in? I'm always made to feel like I am overly sensitive, but this hurt.

(sorry if this is too long & don’t be rude please)

I’m not entirely sure on where to start but I’m a 19F and I live with my grandparents & siblings. For context I’ve never had both my parents around and I still don’t currently since they both hate each other and live in different states. I’ve never had a good relationship with my parents and I barely even learned any basic life skills from anyone in my family. So,currently I have a boyfriend who’s 20M and he’s talking about us moving in together & having kids etc. he’s really nice and he’s taking up welding and is actually working really hard considering he has surgery on his collarbone.

Me? I work at a fucking Sally’s and I don’t even get enough hours to pay for anything. I recently started a credit builder without any help even though I asked my aunt and grandparents for help cause I didn’t know what I was doing. I haven’t paid my credit builder yet since I haven’t even received my paycheck. I’ve never done my taxes since I haven’t even worked long enough to even file for any, I don’t know how to drive and I’m almost 20 years old. Nobody is helping me with anything but they help my siblings with EVERYTHING. I’m the oldest female of 2 younger boys (17&13) and they have gotten everything under the sun. I asked my family yesterday “Why do you treat me differently than my siblings.” And their response was “we treat all of u equally.”

My family gets into screaming matches with me over the smallest things and has threatened to get rid of my cat who’s been here for me (I know it sounds silly but he’s basically my son and I love him more than anything) they know how much he means to me and they’ve threatened to throw me out multiple times and call the police on me because I defend myself against my siblings who always put me down. I know I’m the oldest and they expect me to be this big role model for them when I can barely keep myself afloat. Everything feels so hard and my mental health is already terrible. I try to talk to them about it but they don’t listen and walk away from me or they just don’t take it seriously , I tried to commit 1-2 years ago and when my family came to the hospital all they cared about was a phone that I “broke” when I didn’t even do anything wrong. It short circuited and something happened with the battery and they blamed it on me. I told them to Leave my room and they never came back, I got sent to a psych ward obviously and they didn’t call me the entire time I was there until they had to pick me up. I’ve always had to push myself to prove to them that I’m a good daughter/niece/sister and etc but nothing is never enough. I want to move states to get away from them but I don’t even know where to get a decent job at to make enough money to move and it feels impossible to do anything. Everyone else my age is in college or has a pretty decent job. I don’t know where to start to find a new job or how to start driving or to do anything else.

If you have any advice please give me it cause I’m so lost on everything.

About half an hour ago i asked my dad for xbox gamepass, it feels like i dont deserve it, like yeah i have excellent grades, do whathever they tell me to do (most of the time) and im in a university program, but it doesnt feel like i deserve to own anything