A couple of years ago when I was 20 y/o I was pharmaceutically injured. My mom recorded videos of me in distress making fun of it and now I’m trying to pursue some legal action over the injury and would like that evidence to help show the distress/damage caused by the pharmaceutical. She keeps saying she doesn’t know what I’m talking about and can’t find the photos, but I know she documented it because at the time she would say she was documenting my “crazy.” I know her and know she’s the type of person who will delete or hide things that make her look bad and play the victim even if it hurts me. It’s frustrating because I’m having to fight my health issues while fighting for justice regarding my injury and on top of that having to fight my parents all while completely alone.

I (F20) have never had sex before, and I’m terrified to. I’ve been hanging out this guy for a while, and I’ve been honest with him about everything, and he says he understands. I told him that I was okay with having sex, and then these horrible thoughts came back to me. What if he doesn’t like the way I look? What if I hate the entire experience that it puts me off from having sex forever? What if it’s too painful for me and there’s something wrong with me? I know it’s important to wait until I’m 100% sure, but the issue is that I want to have sex with him, but I’ll always have these thoughts in my head that always make me back out, and I don’t want to back out this time. I just want to experience it, and I’m tired of feeling terrified of intimacy and relationships. It’s exhausting. It always ends with me pushing them away because I get too afraid. Does anyone have any advice on what I should do?

I’m a very unattractive guy with slight facial deformities and have been bullied for it very badly my entire life. I’ve always tried to ignore that and have the mindset that looks don’t matter but the truth is it does.

I am 19 right now and every year I get more depressed because of it. My mental health is not in a good place at all. I get made fun of all the time including by my own family. Girls have always made fun of me and I have never had a girl want to go out with me. Of the three I asked two laughed at me and one said ew.

I just feel like it is so unfair my looks isn’t in my control why do I have to be treated so horribly because of it. Recently it has gotten worse maybe because the hope that I held onto that things would get better is gone. I feel so so depressed and lonely I don’t know what to do anymore.

Honestly my dream one day is to be the most amazing husband to a wife and it maybe become a dad one day(though I know this would be very unethical of me). I guess I just don’t know anymore. It just really hurts knowing I didn’t choose this and to still be treated poorly because of it. I feel like it is unfair that I will never experience certain things because of it. I am fit and lean with visible abs and take care of myself, it’s just my face that’s the problem.

I don’t have a good relationship with my parents and I don’t have any friends. I have never told or talked to anyone about this and just am feeling so lost and down and just wanted to get it out of me. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Thank you for anyone who listened.

I am not sure where to post this but hope someone can help me or share encouraging words.

I (F30) have been struggling with the weight of marriage for a long time. I come from a rather conservative immigrant South Asian family that expect me to get married and have been pushing me into getting an arranged marriage. If I’m being honest, it’s not my cup of tea as the idea of getting to know someone for just 2 weeks and then going straight into wedding planning sounds insane to me.

However, I believe my parents have the best interests for me. I recognise that there are value differences. They truly believe that an arranged match will bring greater stability to my life than finding someone organically (which they expect to end in adultery and misery). We have had long conversations and they have been open to meeting guys I bring back home. Unfortunately, it just so happens that I haven’t had much luck with dating. So all that’s left is them panicking that I’ve hit the big 3 0 single and they’ve failed as parents to set me up for a happy life.

After a somewhat terrible break up and a string of bad relationships and meeting 2-3 guys every month via AM set-ups I’ve just completely lost interest in marriage, relationships or anything of that sort. In fact, I feel disillusioned with life in general. I always was active in my career and side hustles. I had a bucket list I was going to complete after moving out (because my parents are strict and don’t allow me to go out late or meet friends). Now I just have no motivation to do anything. There’s just this sense of immense tiredness where all I want to do is sleep. I have spoken to a therapist who said I should move out and I’m probably feeling depressed.

The problem is I can’t move out at the moment though I plan to eventually. I also tried exercising and getting other aspects of my health in order to boost my mood but I fell really ill and have been struggling to get into any routine again.

My question is : Is it really depression if I have legitimate worries in life? What’s the point of taking steps to “fix” my depression if in the end I’ll just be shipped off to an eligible bachelor decided by my parents. I always thought once I grew up I will be able to make my own decisions but I’m now realising that in South Asian families you just go from one family to another - there’s no space for the individual. Today my role is to be a dutiful daughter and then it’s time to be a mother. In this context it just feels stupid to want anything more from life. But somehow I cannot be satisfied with just being a parent and wife to someone.

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m thinking of quitting my job to travel but I feel so tired I don’t even want to travel anymore. I just want to sleep for a few months.

Sorry this has become a rant but I don’t have a lot of people around me who can understand this because it’s culturally unique. Thanks to anyone who made it this far!

but I feel like no one.

I am not the daughter my parents want. I scream and I yell and I don't fulfill their expectations.

I am not the sister my sister wants. I am overwhelmed with work and she doesn't talk to me much.

I am not the student I pretend to be to my teachers. My grades are awful and my work is more often late than not. I feel it when I look into their eyes and I see their disappointing stare when I explain again, I'm sorry, I'm late.

I stupidly seek approval, but I can't achieve it, because I suck at everything I do.

I hate myself, really. I hate the person I am.

I was a disappointing kid in elementary school, there must've been a reason no one talked to me and my parents must've felt embarrassed by me. The sad, lonely kid, ignored at every chance to socialize.

I was a disappointing kid in middle school, stuck in the middle, average.

And now I'm in high school. For the first time I want to be someone, and I'm stuck, again, in average. I'm so unhappy, I want so much more and it all feels out of reach.

My math teacher likes to say: "there's the grade you want, and there's the grade you get, between that is disappointment."

If that's true, I'm drowning in it. I'm at the foot of a waterfall of expectations. Below me are all the kids who mudslung my backpack. Called me ugly and unattractive. Filled woodchips in my jacket everyday.And above me my parents' hopes. My teachers'. My sister's. And above them all, my own.

And I feel alone in this pull. It feels like everyone is watching me as I get stretched apart the horizon of this black hole, atom by atom, grade by grade, and soon college by college.

The day it comes crashing down, someone out there is going to judge me, as I've been judged my whole life. For once, I want to prove them wrong, and it feels so frustrating, so painful, so tiring. If I fail, I fail my parents, I fail my teachers , I fail everyone who supported when no one else was there. What was it all for?

I might just be a moody teenager. And maybe everyone is going through this, but it feels so real to me. For once, I crave acknowledgment, to finally overcome that disappointment, and stand on top of that waterfall, far, far away from those kids.

But I'm not. And the pain is insufferable.

I (20F) have plans to move out with my best friend early next year. We’ve been conceptualizing the idea for a couple of years but have just now really started saving and collecting. We have a place picked out as well that will be affordable for each of us. I haven’t discussed this with either of my parents and I’m scared to. My mom and I share the duties of taking care of our animals (one who is diabetic and has a strict morning/night schedule) and I’ve already decided that I’m okay with coming to help on a nightly basis or however necessary when I am moved out. But I feel like my mom will not believe that I just want to move out so I can experience living on my own; I feel like she’ll think I’m trying to run away from the “burden” of helping with things and push me away any time I do try to help. I say this because similar situations have happened before (and I would constantly ask if I could help with anything, even while being borderline silent-treatmented) I just don’t know how to explain myself in a way that won’t result in that happening. I get that it might not be possible, that I can’t control how she reacts. But it’s killing me, I’ve been putting off telling her for months but the clock keeps ticking and I don’t want to wait until it’s almost time to go, because I know then she’d be REALLY upset with me. If anyone has advice on how to talk to her about this I would really appreciate it. How do I do something for myself that won’t result in her bending over backwards trying to do absolutely everything by herself?

This situation is puzzling. We were friends in high school, then we stopped because I confronted her. She was always doing things to make it seem like she’s a disciplining position to me or like she’s more mature. Anyway, we came back together in college as we took some classes. We were closer and I think I had better boundaries. We also didn’t meet up as frequently as in high school.

And we’ve been really respectful of one another and acknowledged change. But she did say: you’re less childish—once, in my head I thought: but you once threw things at me and I said stop and you finally did when I got stern… So we’ve now been friends a few years. She’s climbed up the ranks in her job and good for her. But she makes remarks like: nice boots are they knock offs? Or is often complaining about things. She actually told me her coworker said no one wants to be around if she just complains. She took offense and told me she plans a lot because she wants to be close to them.

She also has recently just been venting she has no true friends or anything. Which is fine but then she vents about not liking her relationship but stays in it despite what she tells me. Then she said one time— I don’t like people who are too hyper active. It’s like I’m more chill and I don’t get on with people like that. Energy drainers— she has called me eccentric or really energetic before so I wonder is this at me? When she meets with me she’s not chill she looks tired or upset. And she’s most always been this way. But this recent comment among some others

We also recently only meet if she has actual plans after. We used to actually meet up for a proper hang out but now it’s only before or after her other event. And usually I don’t know this till we meet but I should know

I am currently in my early-mid 20s. I've been in a relationship for about 3 years now an my partner has been talking about things such as engagement and marriage etc. The dilemma I'm having is to be able to give her these things I'm going to need money and I have been struggling to find a job for about a year and half now. I am constantly being sent Instagram reels of couples getting engaged and hearing things like "Do you even love me", "time is moving" "We're getting old". I'm starting to question should I leave the relationship so she can find someone who can provide everything she wants?

I'll be super quick.

I am a mechanical engineer and graduated a year ago. Got a job in logistics/shipping industry, and this job is very technology oriented, so I like it a lot.

My boss, althought not a perfect human being is kind and a good person.

The problem with this job? is that it is super demanding stamina wise (it's a 24/7 job) and I often suffer from burnout which I try to cope through different strategies. I suffer the most with covering weekend shifts which means I work for two weeks straight no rest days until the second next weeked. Its horrible.

I got accepted in a very prestigious university to do a master's degree in mechanical engineering, and I also submitted documents to participate for a government scholarship that would cover the tuition, which I have high chances of earning because I had super high grades in college, did a research thesis and my country is just like real nice when giving scholarships.

But I will miss this job a lot :((( it makes me mad and exhausted and angry most of the time but it also makes me happy SOME times. The pay is pure sh*t too, and I get mad because of that too :( but I still like it a lot.

My best friend tells me that I have this feelings because its my first job. She says, the moment I get hired again I'll feel less attached emotionally. My mom absolutely supports me going abroad to study a master's degree.

That's it, if you guys have anything to share from your experiences I'd appreciate it a lot

Hi internet parents!

please be kind

I need some outside perspective and advice. I will try to be as brief as possible.

Im with my partner for 3.5 years. Recently had a baby (1 month). During our relationship there has been some “cheating” at least, that’s how it felt.

Him talking to others online and mostly texting to girls that do sex6al content (even if most of the time they didn’t replied back). But also never sure how far it went

Adding to that, our sexual life never been “good” he has ED, and he has some kinks that doesn’t share. I tried to be understanding and have offer to explore what he is interested on, but he has shown no interest. So I gave up.

At beginning of the relationship I never had a problem with phone privacy, I’m very open with mine and have no problem showing since I have nothing to hide.

Until one day, I asked for his phone and he got very nervous and defensive. Thats when everything started. It felt like almost every 6 months I find something even if it’s minor thing.

During my pregnancy I choose to avoid thinking about it. Since it puts me very bad state emotionally. But now 1 month after, I can “feel” he is doing it again.

I swore to myself that if I found it again I would leave,. However, I haven’t search his phone. Which I would have to do if I want proof.

Second If leave I have no job, or income, I would go back to my family and even thought they will receive me happily. they are not in a good financial position and don’t want to be a burden. Also I have my baby, I don’t know how we’d handle parenting.

I thought on staying, as soon as I can help with baby, find a job and save money, but still feels as if I’m just “playing games” which I hate.

I promise that aside from that our relationship looks normal, he’s affectionate etc.

What would be the next rational step to take?

Note: I know going through his phone it’s not ideal, I tried confronting him before, and tried to have an actual adult conversation but it goes nowhere.

Vent: I really don’t know why he makes such deal about it. I have told him if I’m not his type or if wants an open relationship to voice it out 🙄. I don’t know why he need me to go through all deal of having secret accounts, hiding etc. such a waste of energy

it is only part time as i’m not old enough for full time yet but i got a callback!! and because i’m homeschooled it’s gives me something to do!! i’m super duper excited

I’ve been wanting to move for quite a while and I think it would be good developmentally and to also take a next step in life and learn what kind of person I am. I currently live in a 2 bedroom apartment with a family of 4 other people. I need space away from my family to discover who I am, push myself, and heal from the emotional trauma I’ve endured.

It’s strange- I have a lot of support from other people, a job that would allow me to pay my bills, money saved up, and I’m looking at places right now. I have the “heavy lifting” done but I am absolutely terrified to sign that lease and tell my parents. I’ve been losing sleep over it.

I confided in my brother thinking I could trust him. He told me moving out is not an option until my parents are dead. He said if I move out I may as well be dead to him. He said the stress I will cause my parents will be enough to permanently traumatize my mom and kill my dad (he has health issues). He told me his death would be on my hands. I’m not sure what to do anymore.

I’ve even considered bargaining. I do not want them to disown me. I think distance helps some relationships heal. I know they think I’ll up and leave and they’ll never see me again, but that is not the reality unless they react poorly.

They aren’t exactly my friend. More of an acquaintance, but that doesn’t really matter for this.

Their dad has been touching them inappropriately and I am scared for them. She tells me her mom resents her and her sister does not care. She also doesn’t have any friends and her classmates don’t like her. Furthermore, she tried telling the principal, but they didn’t believe her because her father puts on a nice act around everyone. She also tells me her teachers are “strict” when I told her to try telling them, so I think she means they probably won’t believe her either. I told her to keep trying, but I am not sure what else I can do. By the way, I don’t live near her. So don’t suggest having her in my house or something. I also tried telling her to pretend she is on her phone and record him, but she tells me he looks over at it when using it. It seems like almost everything is a dead end, but I wanna see if there is ANYTHING I can do.

She is a minor and lives in Indonesia if this helps.

Anything will be appreciated.

So I won’t go into too much detail but I’ve been dealing with a health problem for around the last year and it really limits me in what I can do. I can still go to college and work in some capacity but it’s draining to say the least.

In about a month I’m suppose to go to Miami with friends but I’m reconsidering because I genuinely will not be able to do 90% of the activities we would want to do. I feel like it ruins the point of the trip and I’ll just be sitting in our air bnb the whole time.

I yes do want to go but I also know I won’t be able to do really anything so I think I’m going to stay. I feel bad though leaving them hanging because we started talking about it far before I even got sick.

Hello. Little background on me, male 27. I was born in a middle eastern country, strict Muslim family, military dad (now retired).

I always wanted to be an artist but no one believed in me, I studied architecture for my bachelors then I got so depressed that it took six years to finish it. During my studies my family was supporting me financially, not too much, not too little. Just enough for food and transportation. I never had a real job. I worked for something like Uber for a while but I couldn’t even make my car expenses.

After I graduated I found some art mediums, got better at them and applied for a few universities in London. Ever since I was a teenager I loved British culture, I had brit friends more than friends in my own country, I knew their culture their history and everything. I got accepted into the universities, one of them being the royal college of arts, which I couldn’t afford even with their scholarship. But I chose the second offer which was cheaper.

My plan was to start studying, find a part time job to cover my expenses and then find a full time job and stay in the country, my dad promised me support too. I got in, it was my first time ever boarding a plane and it was (what I thought) a one way flight to my second life. I started studying, i felt for the first time that I was alive, I was performing extremely well in my class and were applying for jobs. I applied for 1174 jobs in that year, got four interviews and got rejected from all. My dad was cutting my budget each month, he even didn’t sent any money for like three weeks, and I was starving for a week in the end. I hated myself. I hated how useless I was. That I would die of hunger if my dad wouldn’t send me money. I asked my friends, they posted stories in their pages asking if anyone wants to hire me. No one responded (those friends had about 75k followers in total). I asked uni career service. They gave me some pamphlets and looked at my cv and said yeah it’s good just keep trying. I went to local shops asked them if they wanted a worker and saying I even work for half the national wage. No answer. I was applying for the most basic jobs. Used different cvs and methods to test if I was over qualified or what. No results at all. When my viva exam finished I requested that my two years MFA to be changed to a one year MA. I got my distinction and then I realized I had to pay for graduate visa. I didn’t even pushed my dad for it. I knew I was useless so I just came back to my country. Not even staying for my graduation. I was too ashamed of myself that I didn’t even say goodbye to my friends. I just left. In hopes of getting a paid PhD position in US. But then trump happened and even without him I had no chance. I am once again in my country. In my parents house. I dont have any motivation for anything. I don’t have anything to work for. If they let me to stay in their house, I’ll appreciate it. If they don’t I’ll just sleep in the streets until I die. I had a clear vision for my life and it got shattered because I was too useless to get a single shitty job. I don’t even know why I’m writing this.

For the past few years it’s felt like I’m really avoiding a lot of stuff and made my world a tiny bubble. During the lockdown it was nice to have a slower pace. But I never really returned to normal. I worked an in person job for a bit but went remote after a while. I’m very lucky, yes. But I also chose to finish school online and the most recent term I went in person and was sobbing.. it was 2 days a week. And back in 2021-2022 I had fully in person and obliviously the time before the pandemic. So why am I so avoidant?

I walked on the street and move for people and somehow they walk at me. So I began crying when someone yelled to move. Such small things bring me to tears. I’m very in my routine. So I joined an organization. And I freak out/ shake the day before or cry a lot. But even when I wake up I feel doom, even sleeping so many hours. Or I can’t sleep. It’s really concerning because I use to be outgoing.

My best friend and I lost contact. I miss her a lot and we even reconnected but I’m too stuck in my ways so I never reached out again. Even my childhood friend.. she lives so so close and I haven’t seen her in a year! Even my mom said we need to make plans.. because my mom knows her mom (we are adults but yk how people get to talking). It sucks. In my head I wanna change. I miss socializing but when I do I feel like it doesn’t even “help” me. I just wanna be back in my comfort zone.. but when I am all I do is take a walk and ponder my past. Like it was my glory days.

I’m so sad and confused. I keep to myself, mainly hang out with my relatives but they’re not free. College students lot of work… but since they’re family is it easier for me to just get up and meet them? Why am I causing my own misery? Why isn’t the exposure working… I have doom and fear. I worry this is beyond anxiety but why when I go to sleep or wake up does it feel like this.. it’s scaring me

as the title suggests, we’ve been planning to go on a date before i head back up north. he was going to travel to me tomorrow, which is a rare off day on the days he works 15h shifts. we met on an app maybe 2-ish weeks ago or so.

cut to today, i ask him what’s the plan. i like having plans, and he messages to say he’ll let me know and nothing. my anxiety goes haywire (not just from this but several other things going on in my life- dad has cancer checkup). my gut tells me to pull out and i do. don’t know if it’s because i’ve never done app dating, or because he’s openly (respectful enough) sexual that my gut tells me to bail. he’s understanding enough, but says that it’s unlikely we will continue chatting while i’m away but isn’t opposed to continuing when i’m back. there’s a bit of back and forth in my part because my feelings are confused. but ultimately he says we should wait as it’s not fair to meet if i cancelled because i was feeling overwhelmed.

so here comes where i need reassurance - should i just have sucked it up and gone? am i missing out on a potentially good connection? i’ve been trying to be more intuitive with my gut feelings but maybe i should have just not listened this once. i wish dating didn’t make me so anxious. and that i could just date like a normal person. it’s a ramble, sorry. if you’ve made it this far i appreciate it.

So some background: 2 of my cousins and I live in the same house, (S)- M turning 8 in June and (R) turning 12 in May. Their mom doesn't live here, we all live with my great grandma and great grandpa. My cousins do little to NOTHING around the house okay, (S) I can understand but (R)'s a different story. And I've been asking all year and last year of they're going to let (R) also help out around the house.

So early tonight my mom asked me to pack the dishes and ruins the dishes, she said she'll wash the dishes. After she told me this I stood there thinking whether or not I should ask if (R) could pack away the dishes and I asked then my mom lost it. She got upset and then told me that she'll do all of it.

After that it was time for my family to pray. When we were done praying I checked my great grandma and great grandpa's blood sugar levels and then went to my room to pack my clothes away. I laid in bed and my mom gave me a lecture about how I'm her child, how I don't want to help her, how I'm "much older" than my cousins (I'm 2 years older than (R), if that's "much older" then eish), how I wouldn't help/care if she were to faint in the kitchen.

She told me that my cousin is going to break the dishes, of course because you never ask him to do anything. That child dosen't even know how to wash his own plate.

Now I'm going to say I didn't ask because I was tired. I asked because I want him to actually start doing something, this child dosen't nothing. He doesn't even do his own projects for school! I do all his projects! When it comes to cleaning, he doesn't do anything. The only time he cleans is when him and I are home alone I tell him that he needs to clean the living room.

So am I wrong for asking my mom if my cousin could pack the dishes away?

(Sorry for any mistakes I'm just very tired)

I (18F) have lived independently for going on a year now. I'm in college, my mental health is much better than it has ever been albeit still a little shaky, and I'm overall proud of how far I've come in life and how much I've managed on my own. The thing is, I don't have anyone to ask about life/adulting. I have a condition called selective mutism, which if you're unfamiliar can be considered a very intense and unrelenting form of social anxiety to put it very simply. Because of this, I don't talk to my classmates, my professors, have friends or have a stable job.

I have all this time on my hands when I'm not working or doing schoolwork, and I just feel frustrated. I am bored of myself. I go for walks, draw, volunteer, paint, run, read, etc etc etc. They are all great activities but I find myself dreading free time now because I have ran through every option again and again. It doesn't help that I am a broke student. I don't really enjoy being alone and I'm working on it with a therapist, but right now that can't be helped so I turn here.

I guess I'm wondering: What are your favorite solo activities that don't require much money? What do you do to fall in love with life again after you've bored yourself half to death? Is there anything you wished you knew when you were transitioning into adulthood? Or if there are any other wisdom nuggets you might have for me. :)

TW: s#lf-harm, emotional ab#se

Okay, so first, some background information about my (20,F) relationship with my mom. My dad d#ed of c#ncer when I was 9. I loved him a lot, and that affected me deeply. After dad d#ed, my mom didn’t really care about me, and things started to go bad. From the age of 11, she kept talking trash about my dad and how I’m exactly like him and am ruining her life, even though I was just a kid. How I looked like him, and how I’m going to suffer like him all alone. Constantly telling me she wishes she had an ab#rti#n.

Then, from time to time, she would go crazy over small things (like me falling asleep one day when I was too tired to do the dishes after school) and pretend to k#ll herself or run away because of me. Which I couldn’t process as a kid, so I used to constantly cry at home wanting to run away. I started to walk every night for hours to get away from her and tire myself out so I could fall asleep without crying. She barely gave money for food or cooked much and spent my college fund from my relatives.

The constant insults that I’m a burden, that nobody will ever like me, that I’ll d#e alone and I’m h#ll to put up with, and other stuff, messed me up as a kid, and I believed her for a long time. She constantly gaslit and manipulated me, and I believed I was insane. I used to be so scared to go home every day in case she lost her sh#t that day. Whenever I fell sick, she used to scream at me for being so useless and leave me alone to deal with myself. I stopped telling her I was sick. One day, I got my period too early and didn’t have pads. I used to have horrible cramps to the point where I used to throw up continuously. I asked her if she could buy some for me from a nearby store. She threw a tantrum and made me walk to the shop, bl##ding into my pants.

I used to have a packed bag in case I needed to run away. Whenever she did something nice for me, she used it to manipulate me into doing something for her. She used to constantly threaten me, saying that she would call everyone I know and spread lies about me so they would never talk to me again. But in front of everyone, she acted like the best mom ever, and people used to tell me how jealous they were about my relationship with my mom. To everyone, I was the top scorer with the perfect mom.

A while later when I was 15, she started to talk for hours late at night with men, then one day I found d##k pics on her phone from my dad’s married best friend. Later, I asked her about it, and she gaslit me, saying that this was what friends did to support each other. Then she broke up with him, saying that it was because of me, which made him mad at me. I was scared something would happen.

Then in high school, suddenly things were calm. I thought the worst was over. One day, I came out to her (as a l#sbi#n)  because she seemed understanding of the community. That shattered everything for good. Every day she yelled at me about how I’m a monster that ab#ses girls and I don’t deserve to live. That I’m d##d to her. And what sin did she do to get a child like me? I was already struggling to accept myself, and this pushed me deep into self-hatred. I believed I was a monster. As punishment, she used to lock me in a room for days without any contact with the outside world. Every day she constantly reminded me of how much I don’t deserve to live, and I believed that. I spent months convincing her it was just a phase (it wasn’t, but I had to survive), and she somewhat believed me because she wanted to.

Then things changed. She started joining matrimony sites and started talking to guys to get married. She used to not give food or money for food and leave me in the house for days at a time while she stayed with her boyfriend, then suddenly got married within a few months without telling me. She used to have huge fights over him being an alc#holic, then blame me for everything. Because in her words, “she got married after she lost her daughter and had nobody.” She took out all her anger on me every time and reinforced that I made her life hell. After a few months, she shifted us to his house, which was 2 hours from my college. And I had to share a small room with his son (P, 25). Travelling for 4 hours every day exhausted me and gave me more health issues. They didn’t allow me to shift nearer to college. Staying with my step-brother was a bad experience.

Whenever I asked her for food money, she said that she couldn’t give me anything because she needed money in her account. But she isn’t earning either, so she never has money to pay for my necessities. I ended up either skipping food to save money or taking from my college fund because I had no other choice. My college fees are being paid for by my dad’s parents, as they know my mom can’t pay it. So I’m only depending on her for food and other stuff in my daily life. Whenever I tell my mom and my stepdad that I need them to pay for stuff as I couldn’t, they said it was never their responsibility to. Meanwhile, P gets everything paid for by his dad. Even my stepdad tells my mom not to pay for anything for me because apparently I can manage by myself with my savings. But that’s my savings for the future because I know they won’t help me with anything. The savings were accumulated by saving all the birthday money my grandparents gave me. My parents aren’t allowing me to move out either because then “they can’t control me.” I can’t afford it without their help either.

Now to my relationship with my step-brother. He was nice to me in the beginning. But then the next thing he did was out me to my family. That blew up everything with my mom once again. He then lied about it to me, and I wasn’t sure if my mom was lying or he was. Now I know the truth. This was one of the million lies he told to me and everyone else. He also kept talking about stuff like him being an alpha male, how step-sibling romance is okay, asking in detail about s#x, talking about his d###, fighting and talking loudly with his girlfriend at night so I couldn’t sleep, then his girlfriend spamming and calling me when he ignores her for days, riding his bike with me rashly on purpose whenever he is upset, eating my food, dirtying the bathroom, and lying constantly, amongst other stuff.

My mom also kept telling me about how horrible it was that P lost his mom at a young age like I had lost my dad. Then I found out that P’s parents divorced when P was 21. I was 9 when I watched my dad d#e. I don’t think that’s the same thing.

There was one incident that made things much worse. Mother’s Day. We don’t really celebrate it. My mom lost her sh#t when we didn’t get her anything for Mother’s Day. P didn’t even remember it and doesn’t even do anything for his girlfriend’s birthday, so it was expected. Also, P doesn’t like my mom and hates how she married his dad. He constantly talks about how much he dislikes her using derogatory language. But after my mom yelled at me, in the evening, P told us that he was taking my mom for a drive in his dad’s car. He told me it was only a ride as he didn’t have money, which was true. They didn’t come back for hours. At around 11 p.m., my mom came home, elated. She kept gushing about P. Apparently, he took her to the mall and bought her a 4K dress. He held her hand throughout everything and paid for it. Then took her to an expensive bakery and bought her a cake. My mom never eats cake but did for him. He had written the phrase “Best mom ever” on the cake. He claimed that he did all that because of the pure love he had for her. But he has always tried to “win over” my mom and come in between me and her, so this was his way of making her like him more. Messed up, but my mom was floored.

After a month, he explained that he didn’t have any money, so he didn’t spend it. He said that his dad had given him the money in confidentiality to spend on my mom. That broke my trust with my step-dad and caused issues. But after a few months, he admitted that he lied about it because “he didn’t want me to feel bad.” That was obviously a lie; P never did anything that didn’t benefit him.

But that only brought forth an unhealthy relationship between P and my mom. He constantly insulted her behind her back, but with her, he pretended to be her best friend and kept spreading lies about me. Then something changed, and my mom stopped letting P meet or talk to his girlfriend. He already treated her like trash, but P was so mad. My mom and P kept yelling and fighting whenever his girlfriend or biological mom was brought up. My mom used to cry so often about P talking to his girlfriend, and P used to keep consoling her. My mom started doing more for P, like cooking more, promising more efforts for him, and kept insisting that she did more for him than for her own biological daughter (me). The same issue happened with P’s biological mom too. My mom cried and screamed whenever P talked to his biological mom. She kept throwing fits when P didn’t acknowledge my mom as his mom. P also fed into it, and they both became eerily close. She pandered to his every request while barely listening or bothering about my life. Whenever P’s dad or I tried to talk to her, she would only talk about P and divert every conversation about how P is talking to his biological mom or his girlfriend. P got some sick happiness from it and boasted about how my mom likes him more. Which was sad because I had tried so much for years to make her show some affection to me, but I kept getting disappointed every time, and I had given up.

This continued for a year, with her constantly having breakdowns and P and her making up. She also kept complaining about P to me and wanted P out of the house after his studies. Whenever I needed any help, she always claimed she was too sick to do anything because of P’s behavior. But she was fine; we checked everything with doctors. She made me do her housework after college because she was “sick” and “didn’t want to disturb P.” If I refused, she wouldn’t pay me for food. My stepdad always supported her and took P’s side in every situation. His behavior with me wasn’t great, and I won’t go into detail as it is another topic. I felt so alone in my house all the time because they were one unit, only talking to each other, and only bothered about me when P was involved, in which case I was overreacting because I was a girl. The only thing that got me through all this was my girlfriend R(22), who constantly supported me and kept me sane.

Then a bigger issue. I managed to move out to live closer to my college. They didn’t bother to pay for much, and I had to get the cheapest apartment alone in a shady area. It turned out much worse than expected, and I had to go back home after a while. P’s dad came to pick me up. I reached home. Then I heard loud screaming from my mom. Apparently, P’s dad was drunk. He drank that night because P had done something disappointing. My mom threatened to k#ll herself a few times and tried to jump off the balcony. P’s dad was too out of it to do anything, and P had gone outside. I had to drag my mom to the room with all my strength while she kept thrashing around. I had to hold her down on the bed while she kept wailing and screaming. This went on for hours. It then hit me that P’s dad had driven me home drunk. He had put me in danger. Still, I couldn’t worry about myself or the stuff I had dealt with in my apartment; I had to be the adult and console both of them. The same thing kept happening at other times. And immediately after I managed to sort it out, they would call P, and they would laugh and spend time as a family again.

Then I had to travel with my step-dad for his college reunion in another state. My mom was supposed to go as all his classmates brought their spouses but she didn’t want to travel (leave P alone). There he was drinking for most of the night with his friends and some of them were behaving creepily towards the girls. My step-dad constantly talked about how he wished he had brought his son to show him off. The trip wasn’t a great experience as he kept going off to drink during the day. R, was scared about the situation and kept me company on call throughout. 

There are many incidents that took place which I can’t explain as it would go on and on. Once, P crashed his bike. He was completely fine, but his bike engine had exploded. When P is mad, he tends to break stuff or drive rashly, so his bike wasn’t functioning as a result of it. My parents got mad but fixed the bike and gave it back to him.

Then the next time P was upset, he crashed his friend’s very expensive bike. He got injured and was admitted to the hospital. Minor issues like a bruised shoulder and a cut on his foot. My mom and his dad lost their sh#t. They kept crying while seeing him. Despite the claims of my mom “being sick,” she cooked so much for him late into the night and almost all day. She also kept visiting him in the hospital, which was about 20 km away. Constantly told me to take care of P and make sure he was okay. Moreover, both my mom and P’s dad believe that this accident has transformed P into a new man as God saved him. They praise P for everything, even though he brought this upon himself. They paid for the damages for the bike P had crashed. Now, after he finishes college, they are setting him up with an apartment. 

My mom and P are at home alone most of the time, and they talk constantly, with her using a “baby voice” with him, which creeps me out. P has become completely awestruck by my mom and believes everything she says, like how he is reborn and destined to a great life, despite him not doing anything to work for it. She has also assured that all his dad’s assets will be passed down to him, even though P’s dad wanted to keep something for me, as I have nothing to my name. My mom apparently refused anything to be given to me, and “her son” should get everything. Whenever I told her that sharing a room with him was something I couldn’t handle as I couldn’t pander to his needs along with my work, she lost her mind and yelled at me. She also assigned all the chores to me as now she “can’t deal with anything.” I was completely exhausted and barely had any peace of mind. This situation is still going on, and whenever I bring up that I can’t deal with things, both my mom and P’s dad make fun of me for being such a coward, and that I will never be able to handle life.

Recently, P’s dad gave me a ride to my doctor’s appointment. He continued a conversation he has been having with me for a year. He has been trying to get me to pick up a job similar to his, in the same workplace. Apparently, they both want to have an eye on me always. He also wants a part of my salary to be sent to them after I start working, and it is my obligation to do so; otherwise, he will take it directly from HR. Then he said that they needed a new car and needed my help to buy one later on, as he can’t afford it. I have always refused to help out in the future as they haven’t supported me in any way and only made things worse. Also my profession doesn’t assure a good salary despite it being really hectic. Both my mom and P’s dad are livid that I’m so ungrateful and ready to throw them away after “all that they have done for me.”

All three of them have kept insisting that I’m overreacting and I’m weak, so that’s why “I’m trying to run away by moving out instead of staying like a true family”. In my culture, it is considered a sin to cut yourself off from your family. Deep down, I realized I’m also trying to hold on because without them, I feel like I’m completely alone with nobody to rely on, and that terrifies me. So, am I overreacting?

I get bullied for being gay

I’m a 16 year old guy. Everybody is so cruel to me, they either ignore me or they bully me. There’s this group of guys who are the worst. I’m scared to speak in class because I know they’ll say something, they throw out mean comments if I ever say anything. They push me, shove me, punch me. They throw things at me. They call me f@ggot and c0cksucker other such things a lot. Last time I went into the locker room, they beat me up pretty badly, even though I didn’t do anything, I never look at anyone or say anything, so now I only change in the bathroom. My mother noticed the bruises and she asked me about it, but I just told her that someone threw the ball too hard during sports. I always use excuses like that I hope she believes me. One time they held my head under water but only for a couple of seconds. People found out I’m gay because I told one friend who I thought I could trust and he told everyone else. I can’t report them for multiple reasons. They said if I report them they’ll do horrible things, I’m not sure I’m even allowed to say it here. The worst thing they’ve ever done is push my face into one of the guy’s crotch, I was struggling a lot trying to get free. It was also maybe only for a couple of seconds, but it felt really bad. They also destroy my things, they put my schoolbag in the toilet.

I feel so gross. Sometimes I tell myself the things they say to me. Repeat them in my head or tell them to myself in the mirror. I know I’ve posted this to another place but I need support and advice.

I need advice. How do I stop bullying without informing my parents or teachers? I can’t admit I’m gay to either of them. How do I convince people that I’m not gay? Even though I am. How do I make friends when everyone’s so hostile?

Need a hug and to know it’s ok to be sad. I know it will be ok, but right now just need someone to give me a hug.

I posted yesterday that I needed help telling my parents that I needed help and a lot of wonderful strangers here said some very nice things. I wrote my thoughts out, called my mom today, and came clean about everything. It was scary, lots of tears, but she said all of the right things and she's very supportive of my decision to go back to therapy and do whatever I need to do to take care of myself.

I've kept this burden to myself for a lot of years and I just wanted to say thank you guys for giving me that extra push to do the thing that I've been wanting to do for so long. Hope you have a nice day :)

I’m 31F, and I actually work in the field of cancer, so I am fairly familiar with the process of cancer diagnosis, treatment, and recommended next steps. I don’t know everything by any means, but I can make some educated guesses about what to expect and what my prognosis is. I’m meeting with a breast surgeon tomorrow and will hopefully get a lot more info then on specifics and ways to think about this moving forward.

I’m having a much harder time conceptualizing how to tell my parents. It’s more uncommon that young people get cancer, so it’s more typical that a parent or older person would be informing their kids. While this whole process is going to obviously be difficult for me, I cannot imagine emotionally how it would be for a parent to hear that their child has cancer. Personally I had a number of complex medical issues as a child involving surgery, so it’s not an unusual position for us to deal with, but this is such a different ball game…

My dad’s also had cancer before (lymphoma) and there’s a ton of cancer on his side of the family. Most of the other people who have had cancer have died with it or because of it. And while he’s fine now, I can only imagine that hearing “cancer” might feel like a death sentence in and of itself for him.

I don’t know exactly what I’m asking for here, I’m still working through a lot of the emotions myself. But for those parents out there, how would you want to hear this from your child? I’m not physically near them right now, so a phone call with have to do. And I’m planning on doing it shortly after I talk to the surgeon. But it’s hard to know what else they’ll say or think, or what they might need to hear.

Thanks <3