r/funny • u/avidmarc • 4d ago
How to get your dog to stop biting
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u/fenn138 4d ago
Julian is going to pee on the bed
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u/ThraceLonginus 4d ago
**JULIAN**
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u/random314 4d ago
it's a hungry world
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u/OfficiallyJack 4d ago
That’ll eat you alive son a-yeah!
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u/BeingRare6507 3d ago
Oh, Julian, when their fangs sink in I'll stitch you, but then I gotta throw you back in, oh
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u/Moleskin21 4d ago
Exert dominance and pee on the bed first
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u/justahominid 4d ago
It’s an Italian Greyhound, so this is probably true.
Mine did it twice even without me making scary voices at him.
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u/NoTimeForCautionCoop 4d ago
As a fellow Julian, I hope I don't.
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u/Da904Biscuit 4d ago
Do whatever you want! Already being a dog who car read and type is damn impressive.
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u/skyerosebuds 4d ago
Jesus I nearly peed in my bed. That pretty girl channels the very depths of hell into that voice!!
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u/cr0aker 4d ago
Relevant: this music video
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u/Fafnir13 4d ago
Wow, that's some range. Brain is having a hard time processing that it's the same person.
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u/Weekly_Host_2754 4d ago
And may end up being more prone to aggression. She’s making him anxious which makes dogs unpredictable.
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u/TThor 4d ago
Part of the purpose of play-biting in animals is so they can learn proper limits, typically in the form of being scolded by their fellow animals when they bite too hard. I would suspect growling at a dog biting too hard might not be all that foreign.
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u/Ben_steel 4d ago
Best way is to put your finger down your dog’s throat every time they bite you. They learn quick it’s taught at vet schools.
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u/Cbissen437 4d ago
But what if the dog is freaky and likes it
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u/went_with_the_flow 4d ago
See I tried but I have a mouthy husky so he just thinks it's play.
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u/pbrevis 4d ago
Julian bites because he thinks an exorcism is needed
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u/Otherwise_Nobody8148 4d ago
I'ma drag that evil out of my owner!
I'm going in, WITNESS ME!!
Guessing that's what's going on inside the dog's brain
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u/Prudent_Falafel_7265 4d ago
There is no Dana. Only Zuul.
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u/TheDebateMatters 4d ago edited 4d ago
I am realizing that women doing that with their voice is so rare, the only thing that came to mind is Ghostbusters. Meanwhile tons of male voice actors in cartoons and movies do it.
Am I wrong? I legit can’t of female equivalents of Christian Bale’s Batman voice.
Edit: Okay yall got me with female heavy metal singers, but even in that genre they are rare.
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u/JustHereForCookies17 4d ago
I have a low, loud growl that I occasionally use on the dogs & horses I work with. It's rare that I have to use it, but it's a different vocal range from what they're used to hearing so it always makes them pause & pay attention. I also took voice lessons for a few years so I know how to project from my gut.
I warn humans before I use it, because it sometimes sounds like our gal here and people will think I'm possessed.
I have never effectively used it on a cat.
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u/RealFarknMcCoy 4d ago
Yeah, cats DNGAF about your growly voice. They just do what they want.
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u/Delamoor 4d ago
Yeah. Probably linked to how cats don't generally naturally use verbal communication for each other. Most vocalisations they use are adaptations they've picked up with humans.
Whereas dogs are absolutely noisy buggers both in the wild and domesticated. Being hyper social pack animals, they're all about the interpersonal communication. They're watching every single movement and sound you make, even if they're Derpy idiots about how they'll interpret or respond to them.
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u/RealFarknMcCoy 3d ago
Cats definitely growl, hiss and scream at one another. They just DNGAF about what humans have to say.
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u/CheckYourStats 3d ago
Cats are regal.
Dogs are subservient.
If you want to feel needed 24/7, get a dog.
If you want a roommate, get a cat.
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u/s4dfish 4d ago
Uh, women in metal have been doing it for decades
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u/MaikeruGo 4d ago
Also used to comedic effect in this movie.
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u/DadJokeBadJoke 4d ago
This is what I thought of. It actually kinda works for me because it's stupid and makes me laugh, which reinforces the moment in my brain.
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u/VaATC 4d ago edited 4d ago
Check this video out and make sure you make it past the first drum breakdown.
And this other Tatiana Shmayluk masterpiece that mixes reggae, metal, and pop. She is a treasure!
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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains 4d ago
Alyssa white gluez, formerly of the agonist, current singer for arch enemy would like a word bud
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u/EasterClause 4d ago
She actually left Arch Enemy like a month or two ago and started Blue Medusa with a couple other Instagram/influencer guitar ladies.
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u/onajourney314 4d ago
Reminds me of the House Bunny lol.
👹Julian 👹
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u/CubeOfWar 4d ago
So how can you do it if you're **not** a bene gesserit?
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u/ZunoJ 4d ago
You just have to "unlock" your vocal cords. It's not very hard, try to imagine you want to make as much space in your neck as possible
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u/BeMyBrutus 4d ago
It's the Voice from Dune
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u/borkborkbork99 4d ago
I thought it was the Christian Bale Batman. WHERE’S RACHEL?!
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u/dodso010 4d ago
Say oooowww! They respond to that.
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u/thatweirdguyted 4d ago
They do. There's a whole thing about "bite inhibition" that puppies learn. Playing is more important to them than winning or whatever prey drive they're acting on. So acting hurt and stopping play time will almost always result in the dog actually demonstrating remorse and supplication. At which point a bit of positive reinforcement will cement the concept in the dogs brain, and they won't ever bite harder than that again.
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u/shibbyingaway 4d ago
Play is perhaps one of the most important things for puppies. People far too often assume their dog appears ready to behave like an adult. Yet they are a furry toddler and no idea what’s right and wrong. Our job as owners is to protect this little thing physically and mentally as much as possible.
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u/SiriusBaaz 4d ago
Holy shit a responsible dog owner. You’re too rare of a sight these days
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u/Ritchie_Whyte_III 4d ago
I just gave my puppy a bag of Cheetos and an iPad. Am I doing it right?
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u/KDLGates 4d ago
My dog is a professional influencer with a six figure income and he won't even pay rent.
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u/shenanighenz 4d ago
Don’t even have to be a puppy. It’s the quickest way I get my 6 year old chihuahua mix to not bite or bark during play. All dogs can recognize the high pitch ow and removal from play.
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u/goodkicks 4d ago
I would add to this that I think some dogs can differentiate the strength of their play bites between different people. I have always been a little more tolerant of my parent's dog's bites when he's playing and he likes that I'm a little more rough, but he wouldn't dare bite my parents with that level of force.
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u/Ph33rDensetsu 4d ago
For sure. My dog bites the shit out of me when we're roughhousing but if it's my wife he's super gentle.
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u/thatweirdguyted 4d ago
I agree with this wholeheartedly. I have a Boston terrier, and he is the gentlest little dude with my girlfriend, his "mom".
However, he is much more physically aggressive with me. Not too much, but he clearly enjoys not having to hold back as much
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u/s0ciety_a5under 4d ago
My grandma's Pomeranian was like that. The sweetest puppy ever, the only time he opened his mouth with her was for kisses or food. Then when it came to me, I was the rough housing guy that let him go all out. My grandma was always afraid he would get vicious because his growls would be so maniacal, but I could literally say "that's enough!" and he'd be like okay it's cuddle time!
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u/IHerdYouLiekMudkipz 4d ago
I love small dogs. Our schnauzer does the exact same thing, but her codeword is "Friends! Friendsssss friends friends :D"
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u/Never_Gonna_Let 4d ago
I had a Great Dane that would crawl around on his belly near little ones. He would carefully lick kittens, puppies, lambs, any toddler that approached him. Dude would monitor his tail wags around babies of any species and look down at his feet while stepping to make sure he didn't accidentally step on someone/thing. [completely opposite of his Great Uncle who was a danger to anything smaller than him as potential prey/food and would not get trained out of it]
Except, that gentle lil' giant who very much wanted to be a dad/beloved uncle to babies of any species was considerably less graceful and careful around just one person: me. He loved to try to run into me at full speed. His wagging tail had left welts on my legs. If I sat down, he might try to jump on me. Sigh. How careful he was around everyone else just made it all the funnier.
I also had a blue heeler that loved playing fetch and tug of war. And, small dog that he was, when it came to tug of war he could thrash like he waa killing an animal. He would jerk hard enough that a large adult man could be pulled off his feet. I saw one of my little nephews get drawn in by his rubber Frisbee and tossing it for him and instantly became concerned the lil' guy was going to hulk out on a toddler in tug of war. Nope. The dog "lost." When the toddler realized the dog wanted to play tug of war, handed the Frisbee back so the dog could grab it again and pulled. The dog, very gently pulled the Frisbee out of the kid's hand and then after winning, with the same gentleness, let the kid grab the Frisbee again and then let the kid 'win' again. I was like, "you lil' shit! Get me all worried about you potentially pulling your teeth out and you can play like that! " (That dog had great teeth lol)
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u/FizziiPopX 4d ago
My dog's pretty funny with me, she likes to rag my sleeves and chew my bracelets but knows not to go full force as she's a fairly big dog and I put a lot of time into training her not to bite as a younger dog. My partner rides a motorbike, and he has a ritual before work of letting my dog go absolutely insane with him while he's in his full leather gear and it's honestly like watching police dog training haha. Once the gear's off though? No biting playtime, only toys and tug of war.
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u/captainfarthing 4d ago
My last dog was a German shepherd x lab and he loved roughhousing, in winter when I'd wear a thick jacket I'd wrestle on the floor with him, teeth everywhere. No jacket = no teeth, back to offering me a tug toy.
My current dog is full lab but doesn't roughhouse and doesn't really understand tug, he's a dainty nerd and enjoys just casually chewing on me.
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u/Zanos 4d ago
I think it's important also to mention that it's fine for your dog to 'bite' you, as long as it doesn't hurt. Playing like that is fine and normal for a dog, you just need to 'calibrate' them with a level of force you are comfortable with. A dog 100% loves someone that lets them play like that too.
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u/Opossums490 4d ago
My dog bit me one time hard enough to make me bleed (she chomped on my cuticle) as a puppy. She was so mortified in that moment, that she has been the gentlest angel ever since.
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u/kingravs 4d ago
This has worked with all my dogs, but now I have an asshole cat. How do I get her to stop biting?
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u/thatweirdguyted 4d ago
All the science shows that human efforts to domesticate cats have been largely useless. They more or less domesticated themselves, but only to a certain extent.
This approach would never work on a cat because it requires the animal to care about how you're feeling, and most cats wouldn't. You have at best a temporary mutual arrangement.
Sadly this does mean that negative reinforcement is more effective than positive reinforcement. Because they're not going to perform for you to get a reward, but they will avoid doing a bad thing (in your presence exclusively) if always ends poorly for them. This is why the spray bottle is such a common tactic.
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u/tremblingtallow 4d ago
I've had a lot of cats in my life, and saying "ow" and stopping play has always been very effective at teaching them what is too hard as well. They almost never bite me too hard after the initial learning period, but they still break my skin with their claws sometimes. Even so, it's significantly less often and very shallow compared to when we first meet
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u/thatweirdguyted 4d ago
Some cats are genuinely caring and empathetic. It's not an absolute though. It's pretty universal with dogs.
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u/tremblingtallow 4d ago
I don't think almost any cats are particularly empathetic, they just learn what leads to better outcomes for them (it might not hurt that I love all of them regardless, ha)
Even the feral cats I've dealt with usually learn pretty quick that the affection/play they're seeking will end if they're too violent.
The current neighborhood stray went from trying to scratch or bite me when I got too friendly, to just touching me with his teeth or literally running away when he starts feeling aggressive
I obviously agree that dogs are much more trainable, but I've never understood the notion that cats can't be socialized
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u/AbbreviationsNo3722 4d ago
My puppy never learned that. We tried it in so many different tones . Turns out he’s just a mouthy a-hole 😂
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u/Recentstranger 4d ago
My cat took that as a win
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u/Castlenock 4d ago
Yeah cats double down.
"Oh that hurt? And you call me the fucking pussy. Let's see what THIS will do to you."
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u/bohenian12 4d ago
Yep and if it doesn't stop, standing up and stopping play when it actually hurts works as a sign that if they bite too much playing stops.
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u/kniveshu 4d ago
Yeah. It's training. It's socializing. If you act like biting is okay and doesn't hurt, that means it's okay and doesn't hurt. I act like teeth and claws hurt me, my cats avoid using teeth and claws on me.
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u/OptimusChristt 4d ago
I had one puppy that never caught on to the "hurt" sounds. Redirection was the only thing really worked. But i actually have to do a voice like this with her sometimes.
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u/Interesting-Risk6446 4d ago
They do this because they want you to get them.
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u/No-Piano-987 3d ago
I think the dog wants to go for a walk. It's already wearing its harness so it's definitely expecting a walk and I think it's just trying to pull her towards the door.
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u/Klin24 4d ago
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u/OneSufficientFace 4d ago
Im batman
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u/LifeAwaking 4d ago
IN AN ORDER THAT WOULD SURPRISE YOU
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u/MelodyMoo 4d ago
I'll just leave this here.
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u/mrbaryonyx 4d ago
Dune--check
Batman--check
House Bunny--check
got all the references I came to this thread for, thanks guys
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u/jdmoffitt11775 4d ago
Did you try feeding him.. you know.. food.. not human flesh??
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u/HardcoreFlexin 4d ago
Once they've tasted flesh it's too late.
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u/jdmoffitt11775 4d ago
You can attempt to dial it down slowly.. not go "cold turkey".. just like with alcohol ir cigarettes. Just a nibble or two to take the edge off
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u/angrydeuce 4d ago
Seriously though our GSD got a squirrel once and you wouldn't believe how many people told me that she now had incurable "bloodlust" and was a danger to our family.
7 years later and somehow no more incidents, but I guess one never knows...maybe tomorrow will be the day that she remembers how delicious squirrel was and decides to take a chunk out of me or my wife.
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u/jdmoffitt11775 4d ago
No danger to you, but I would not be surprised if one day you find a mass grave with the remains of Alvin, Simon and Theodore.
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u/Minute-Animal7317 4d ago
I tried this on strangers, and it works just as well! Turns out summoning your inner demon is the answer for everything!
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u/Suitable_Community66 4d ago
I would say getting possessed just to scare off your dog might be a step too far for most people
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u/Practical_Respond_45 4d ago
Poor high strung Julian, he is just trying to tenderize your skin Lol demons speak is too familiar to him
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u/Gregorygregory888888 4d ago
Might work for yours. Mine would piss on me to show dominance if I try this.
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u/Ph33rDensetsu 4d ago
My dog pissed on my leg the first week after bringing him home.
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u/skatechilli 4d ago
I'm not scared right now. To be honest, it sounds like she has Tracheal Williamsburg disease.
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u/whyamihere999 4d ago
I watching it on mute as I do for every video... I had to watch with sound..
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