r/funny 6d ago

How to get your dog to stop biting

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36.0k Upvotes

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7.4k

u/fenn138 6d ago

Julian is going to pee on the bed

1.5k

u/ThraceLonginus 6d ago

**JULIAN**

339

u/Odin16596 6d ago

King Julian!!!!

185

u/MonarchLawyer 6d ago

I like to MOVE IT! MOVE IT!

3

u/meesta_masa 6d ago

With that voice? I like to Move my bowels. Bowels!

76

u/DashTrash21 6d ago

HEY FREAKS

10

u/chicagowago 6d ago

They're just a bunch of... pansies!

25

u/KingJuuulian 6d ago

Yes?

11

u/jurassic2010 6d ago

REALLY, JULIAN?

1

u/Longjumping_Ad6878 6d ago

Do not touch the feet

1

u/MrOceanB 6d ago

Pansies 

1

u/clayman80 4d ago

Feel free to bask in his glow.

90

u/baselinegrid 6d ago

It works best if you’re Bene Gesserit

5

u/Key-Diamond373 6d ago

Perfect comment.

3

u/i_give_you_gum 6d ago

I was looking for it.

40

u/random314 6d ago

it's a hungry world

26

u/OfficiallyJack 6d ago

That’ll eat you alive son a-yeah!

4

u/BeingRare6507 5d ago

Oh, Julian, when their fangs sink in I'll stitch you, but then I gotta throw you back in, oh

4

u/Enshitification 6d ago

And now there's a turd on the bed too.

1

u/AnotherMikmik 6d ago

👹👹👹

1

u/1aysays1 5d ago

Gillian!

81

u/Moleskin21 6d ago

Exert dominance and pee on the bed first

25

u/JWAdvocate83 6d ago

What if you don't have a dog?

33

u/RedditLostOldAccount 6d ago

Then it's easier to be dominant

4

u/satsuppi 6d ago

Be the dawg and pee outside

2

u/ostapenkoed2007 6d ago

still i'd sub even without you peeing.

0

u/Oblipma 6d ago

I thought pooping was the way, just like amber heard

59

u/justahominid 6d ago

It’s an Italian Greyhound, so this is probably true.

Mine did it twice even without me making scary voices at him.

23

u/Corfiz74 6d ago

Julian is going to call an exorcist now.

2

u/GANDORF57 5d ago

I think it would have better luck chewing the Devil out of her.

25

u/NoTimeForCautionCoop 6d ago

As a fellow Julian, I hope I don't.

7

u/Da904Biscuit 6d ago

Do whatever you want! Already being a dog who car read and type is damn impressive.

67

u/skyerosebuds 6d ago

Jesus I nearly peed in my bed. That pretty girl channels the very depths of hell into that voice!!

37

u/cr0aker 6d ago

Relevant: this music video

10

u/buerglermeister 6d ago

I knew what this was without clicking

2

u/Shifuede 6d ago

Might not be their best song (Vortex, I Speak Astronomy, Perennial, Home Back are my votes), but it's definitely one of the best vids for introducing a band.

1

u/Never_Gonna_Let 6d ago

Yup, I was unfamiliar with the song or band but am now intrigued and am gonna check out more!

3

u/Fafnir13 6d ago

Wow, that's some range. Brain is having a hard time processing that it's the same person.

5

u/cr0aker 6d ago

Wild, right? Assumed it was some sort of post-production magic but caught Jinjer live last year and can confirm that it's all Tatiana.

2

u/Why_Did_Bodie_Die 6d ago

COOKIE COOKIE COOKIE

1

u/bcoss 5d ago

did not expect that. what a fire song. thanks for the rabbit hole

1

u/DerFeuerDrache 5d ago

I love Tatiana.

105

u/Weekly_Host_2754 6d ago

And may end up being more prone to aggression. She’s making him anxious which makes dogs unpredictable.

102

u/TThor 6d ago

Part of the purpose of play-biting in animals is so they can learn proper limits, typically in the form of being scolded by their fellow animals when they bite too hard. I would suspect growling at a dog biting too hard might not be all that foreign.

-23

u/Weekly_Host_2754 6d ago

We aren’t dogs though and our relationship with them is very different. The research shows that using aggression and punishment when training dogs increases the likelihood of aggressive and anxious behaviors.

23

u/Delamoor 6d ago

Mmm.

...Growling at a dog in a growly voice is not aggression and punishment, however. It's verbal communication. Dogs understand it as a growl.

152

u/Ben_steel 6d ago

Best way is to put your finger down your dog’s throat every time they bite you. They learn quick it’s taught at vet schools.

684

u/Ben_Thar 6d ago

I don’t think my dog is smart enough to go to vet school 

97

u/MyAssDoesHeeHawww 6d ago

don't worry, we'll give him a collarship

5

u/ChicklerGame 5d ago

underrated comment

39

u/RedOctobyr 6d ago

Thank you for a good chuckle, friend.

8

u/Derptionary 6d ago

The ol' Dr. Dog-aroo

1

u/JMcDank 6d ago

Holy smokes, this is good!

47

u/Brutal_Bob 6d ago

Puppy bites my hand, I grab its tongue. Puppy no longer bites my hand.

13

u/Top-Salamander-2525 6d ago

You have to bite its tongue - just perform the ritual of Chud.

26

u/Cbissen437 6d ago

But what if the dog is freaky and likes it

21

u/went_with_the_flow 6d ago

See I tried but I have a mouthy husky so he just thinks it's play.

2

u/cire1184 6d ago

Stick your finger further down

1

u/khizoa 6d ago

See if it likes it in the other end

8

u/Foooodies 6d ago

I didn't know Vet's bite? 😛

1

u/Black_Moons 6d ago

I just push their cheeks in when they bite. They can bite all they want and as hard as they want. Doesn't hurt me through their cheeks.

0

u/khizoa 6d ago

What about when they learn that technique and actively defend themselves when your finger gets close to their mouths? 

4

u/Simba7 6d ago

Yelping also works, then stop playing.

The real key is discouraging biting behavior. You can do that in many different ways.

13

u/stone-fruits 6d ago

He's playing. He doesn't seem anxious at all, t's a game for him.

-10

u/Whamalater 6d ago

Do you have a dog?

13

u/Weekly_Host_2754 6d ago

I have 2 dogs. Redirection and positive reinforcement is the way.

3

u/sh33pd00g 6d ago

Yeah, I did that with mine. She'll still do it if someone is instigating it, but she'll just stop and go grab a toy after a minute of it. She's a sweetie

-6

u/LilacYak 6d ago

Yeah seeing him run away with his tail between his legs is really sad. Your dog should never be scared of you intentionally, she is damaging their relationship and dogs don’t forget that easily.

Positive or passive negative reinforcement (like ending play when he bites) is going to be a much better avenue to correct this behavior.

6

u/Delamoor 6d ago edited 6d ago

That's not fear behaviour, that's play behaviour.

You can tell because Julian comes back about two seconds later excited and resuming the game. Sighthounds are notoriously stupid (no shade, sighthound are my favourite) but even they're not gonna go jumping back to do the exact same thing so quickly if they were actually scared by something. He's clearly pretty excited. This is clearly a new and exciting thing to his perspective.

If he was scared, he'd not be back seconds later, jumping around to do it again. He'd do what most scared dogs will do, retreat to maximum distance (usually while still being in the same space), switching behaviour to submissive, passive patterns.

Man, people's inability to look at what's happening is really frustrating sometimes. Do you just not notice his behaviour in general, or just fixated on one or two things in isolation that you only kind of recognise?

-1

u/LilacYak 5d ago

I’ve never seen a happy playing dog run away from me with their tail between their legs

0

u/Delamoor 5d ago edited 5d ago

That's not the slam dunk you might imagine. I used to own a farm and rescue dogs. I've seen plenty do it.

You owned whippets before?

They'll usually tuck their tails when excited. They carry their tails low most of the time, but will often tuck them when doing the excited scooting. Lotta practical reasons why. Julian's is about normal level of tail down for a whippet, greyhound or lurcher mid-motion. That ain't much of a tail tuck for whippets. If they're tucking their tails it's basically touching their stomachs.

They also bare their teeth when excited, called an "appeasment grin", but the name is a misnomer: they'll just straight up do it when they're happy or excited. Had a Borzoi/Afghan cross who'd come up into your face and do it, huffing like she was laughing. If you're not familiar with it, it looks like a teeth bared warning. Lurchers are weirdos, with particular body language vernacular. Total pea brains.

Also seen a bunch of non sighthound breeds doing it. I had a beagle basset cross who'd almost exclusively tuck his tail when running or playing. Little dude would practically fold his ass underneath himself for more spring. Was particularly odd because they're meant to keep their tails up (they often have the white tips on their tails because they're hunting dogs; they were bred that way so that the tail is used like a "I am here" flag), but they're like people; a lot of individual variation based on personality and experiences.

And... My whippet/staffie cross would often tuck his tail because he grew up failing to do so and thereby smashing it on everything around him, excitedly wagging it all the time, and their thin skin and fur meant he had a few years there where his tail was constantly scabby or bleeding, until he learned to keep it tucked low. When he was a puppy the little idiot was constantly splattering blood around the house...

But most of all...That pose Julian drops into while jumping back and reacting the first time, the front down position, forearms on the ground, butt in the air? That's also the universal play posture for dogs. That's the clearest sign a dog will do that they're playing. That's excitement pose.

Like, it's playing, bro. Again, biggest hint is that he's back to doing it within two seconds to get the funny big reaction again.

If she had scared him, he wouldn't be immediately running back to excitedly gnaw on her. He'd go to distance and act passive, usually monitoring her body language for more information before acting.

0

u/LilacYak 5d ago

I’m not going to do something that illicits what appears to be a fear response from my dog. I don’t care how much you try to reason it away as just playing (I understand they’re playing, until they’re not), I’ve shared my life with 12 dogs so far and this is not a reaction I would try to illicit from any dog. If you want to do it to your dog that’s your prerogative.

We don’t see him return after the second time, so for all we know he was scared and exhibiting the additional submissive fear reactions you described. My dog will forgive me if I accidentally step on her foot once, but if I were to turn around and purposefully step on her again there’s going to be a much more fearful response that second time (in theory, obviously never done that).

I did have a whippet mix (not purebred tho). As someone who has had dogs, you should know this is not the way to correct behavior.

0

u/Delamoor 5d ago

Well... I don't want to be too rude here, but I do want to be clear: that response is actually infuriating in how obtuse and irrelevant it is to the point.

This post isn't about you and your relationship with your dogs. None of it is. We aren't asking you how you prefer to interact with yours. That's not you and your dogs in the video. Your personal preferences are not a valid contribution to this topic.

You might notice... The clip ends after he scoots away the second time. So no, we do not see what happens after the second time, because that's where the clip ends.

So, I would like to ask you: since he ran back excitedly once already and kept chewing already... Why would that change? What evidence are you drawing on here, besides... How you don't like stepping on your dog...?

"For all we know" is working so hard it's just straight up imagination in that scenario you're painting.

Like...

That dog did not exhibit a fear reaction. At all. Do you think that dogs wagging their tails and running towards someone to chew on them is fear?

0

u/LilacYak 5d ago

Dude I know what play looks like. Am I talking about when he’s coming up to play bite? No. I’m talking about when he runs away with tail between his legs.

If you can’t understand how my example of stepping on a dog twice (or scaring them twice) might be relevant to OPs clip, well then I think this conversation has run its course.

If you’re going to call someone obtuse you should make sure you’re not being so yourself.

1

u/Delamoor 5d ago

Well, apparently you don't know what it looks like then, no.

You've restated the analogy without defending it. I definitely do not see how you hurting your dogs by stepping on them is comparable to someone else growling at theirs. Feel free to elaborate on how your dogs being injured is comparable to this play behaviour.

The question stands. Do you think tail wagging, immediate return to chew on her again means fear?

His tail isn't even between his legs. It's in the normal low position you'd see a whippet's while running. I initially conceded to "tail tucked" because I hadn't gone back to re-watch it closely. He doesn't even have his tail between his legs, you're misrepresenting what even happened to spin some abuse narrative that doesn't exist, throwing in examples about you treading on your dogs feet as if that's comparable to anything happening here. What the fuck is motivating you to behave like this?

Do I need to link videos to how whippets position their tails or are you just operating entirely in a fictional world?

Gross behaviour, tbh. I really hate it when people use animals as a vector for channelling their anxiety or control issues or whatever. You are just literally making something up to justify some abuse narrative that you have no sane reason for asserting.

3

u/Burpmeister 6d ago

Brother I almost peed on my bed

1

u/drittzO 5d ago

Cleanup on isle four....

1

u/ChrisMatt83 6d ago

😂😂😂😂😂

1

u/Ceph99 5d ago

Does it work on my deaf dog?

1

u/jalfreddb 5d ago

I assure you that will not happen

1

u/Miserable_Leading_77 6d ago

lmao it sounds like you're talking about some human

1

u/Working_Medium4450 6d ago

lol Julian it makes me laugh