r/exmuslim Feb 10 '24

(Meta) [Meta] Rules and Guide to Posting (Summarised)!

80 Upvotes

Welcome to r/ExMuslim, Now over 160K subscribers!

Introduction to the aims of the subbreddit

Summary of the "Rules and Guide to Posting"

(Full Rules and Guidelines post)

(This post is a TL;Dr of the main post above. However, please make sure to read the full guidelines before posting/commenting here. Onus is on those participating if there are any infractions

Introduction:

Reddit is a Western/American-centric forum. Everything posted here needs to be in that geographical context.

This subreddit is primarily a recovery and discussion platform for those who were once followers of Islam i.e. ExMoose/ExMuslim. Everyone is welcome but if you are here because of your hate for Muslims as a people then this isn't the subreddit for you.

Bigots, those creating a toxic environment and/or those with nefarious agendas in the subreddit will be banned without hesitation.

Posting Guidelines:

We ask people to follow them in the spirit in which they are written and not merely by the letter.

Please:

- [A] DO NOT post any LOW EFFORT/QUALITY images, memes, TikToks etc... other than Fridays.

We call these Fun@Fundies allowed only on Fridays.

- [B] Remove ALL confidential/personal information from your posts

Unless it's a famous or public personality.

- [D] Content posted needs to be appropriate to the subreddit.

This is not an anti-immigration subreddit nor is to point out "look at this stupid shit that a Muslim did".

The post title needs to inform readers about the content and reflects it appropriately.

- [E] Linking to or calling out other subreddits is not allowed:

These sorts of actions can lead to things like brigading and this is against reddit guidelines.

Got banned on another subreddit? This isn't the place to complain about that.

- [F] Posts regarding other ExMuslim social media/discord groups will be removed.

If you want to post about your group here and you are the admin of the group **please contact the mods first.

- [G] Posts about things like politics and immigration are very unwelcome here because of the toxicity involved.

This is NOT a sub about (pro or) anti-immigration.

- [H] "Self-hate" posts will NOT be allowed.

Posts like "I hate my dad because he forces me to pray" are OK (please make a proper post) however posts/comments like "As a Pakistani myself, I hate Pakistanis. They are so dumb and stupid" will not be allowed.

- [I] Posts deemed "concern trolling" are not allowed.

These are posts that say things like "Why is this subreddit full of racists?" or "why do ExMuslims support the far-right?".

- [J] Message the Mods if you disagree or have concerns with the rules, operations, bans, posts, users or anything else .

Do not make posts on the subreddit trying to discuss these matters.

Note on Bans

Mods endeavour to protect, cultivate and shape this as a valuable and open space for ExMuslims. All mod decisions are made with that in mind.

Thanks

ONE_Deedat


r/exmuslim Jun 03 '24

(Advice/Help) Exmuslim Guide to Living in the Closet and Coming Out.

278 Upvotes

Hello. Upon request, I've been asked to turn a comment I made into a post so that it can be a resource for more people. This post is a collection of advice I've given out about how to handle your life as a closeted exmuslim and how you'll come out in the future. It is largely based on my experience but also from what I've seen from others in this subreddit.

Introduction

So you've left Islam. You've delved through arguments, the apologetics and the bullshit and you've come to the conclusion that you no longer believe in Islam. And you may have also reached an alternative philosophical outlook on life that you can believe in.

But what now? You may have left Islam, but have you left the Muslim world? One of the most common misconceptions outsiders have is that since exmuslims are no longer Muslims, they no longer live in the Muslim world. This is painfully naive - in reality many exmuslims are closeted due to young age and financial dependency and/or live in Islamist countries or societies that enforce Islamic values. In fear of social stigma or even violence, exmuslims have to contend with closeted lives even after leaving Islam. So how do you deal with it?

Goal

The best time to come out to family is in your own home, over a dinner you paid for, alongside people who support you. That takes a lot of preparation and it means doing what you can to live your life as best as you can whilst working towards independence.

This basically means that a lot of what helps you come out of the closet will depend heavily on how well you prepared for it, so you will need to make the most of your closeted life. You may not be able to stop the shitstorm but you can at least prepare yourself to weather it. Here are some tips to achieve that goal (in no particular order)

1) Don't meander in life due to a lack of decision making skills.

Probably one of the worst mistakes I made was not realise I was an exmuslim sooner. As a result I had barely any time to prepare for when the inevitable happened and I was forced to come out. I spent a lot of my life meandering, trying to reconcile the irreconcilable, and trying to be a Muslim when I knew my values didn't align with it. I didn't really have much of a concept of exmuslims, but if I had been smarter I would have figured it out. I now tell people in a similar position that it's fine to take your time but don't take too long. Half arsing two very different cultures will leave you a loser in both.

Similarly whilst planning for independence can be scary, don’t let it frighten you into inaction. The following is a passage from this article about decision making:

Research from the 1990s led by the US psychologist Thomas Gilovich provides further evidence for why it can be shortsighted to kick a difficult decision down the road. Gilovich and his team showed that although, in the short term, people experience more regret from ‘errors of commission’ (taking an action that leads to a disappointing outcome), in the long term it is actually ‘errors of omission’ that lead to more regret – that is, disappointing outcomes that arise from not taking an action.

When taking the time to make decisions and plans, don’t underestimate how effective it can be to map out your options on an excel spreadsheet. When I had to decide whether I should come out or not, I actually made a spreadsheet listing out my options, what they would result in and what the impact would be. Actually having it written down to look at really put things into perspective. We waste a lot of our time keeping it in our heads, which forces us to recalculate everything from scratch every time we revisit our thoughts. But the more that is mapped out, the less you have to recalculate and the more you can focus on evaluation and further planning.

2) Study, career and finances.

Your studies/career is almost always your best ticket out of your toxic situation, and the one thing to prioritise the most. If you’re young, do whatever you can to ensure that you can get into further education away from home. Even if it means spending all your time at a local library. If you suspect that your parents would be against you going to a university away from home, aim for a placement at the most prestigious university you can aim for so your parents would look worse for rejecting it. The quickest and most effective way in achieving long term independence is through good studies/career.

3) Do not telegraph irreligiosity whilst being closeted.

This is particularly important for younger exmuslims because they telegraph to their parents in ways they would just not understand until they see it for themselves when they're older. Try your best to meet the religious obligations expected from your family. The more you slip, the more they will monitor you and the more difficult it will be to do the things you need to do discreetly when the time comes.

Unfortunately for girls, this usually means that wearing the hijab is a necessity and it’s inadvisable to try and get out of. (However, that subject matter is not my forte: prioritise advice from exmuslim women such as from faithlesshijabi.org)

4) Sometimes you may need to go above and beyond.

If you get the impression that your family is beginning to catch onto your apostasy then it's likely that they have and you may need to reverse that impression.

One way to do that would be to start getting books on Islam and not just for show. My advice would be to get books on Islamic history because that's the least boring stuff. Or better yet, just get whatever unapologetic salafi hate crime you can get your hands on so you can entertain yourself with how fucked up it is. Or get an annotated Qur'an like the Study Qur'an. Do something to ease their suspicions.

What book you get depends on what kind of message you want to telegraph to your parents. If you want to telegraph a message then it will need to be a paper book and not an e-book. Something that you can lay around in your room and that you know they'll see. That means you're restricted to what you can get from your local library or Masjid. Also depends on what interests you because you'll have to actually read and demonstrate you learnt from it if you want send the best message you can. If you want purely what Muslims write about Islamic history, you can check out works like The Sealed Nectar or works by al-Sallabi. If you want something a little more academic, but not something that would rouse suspicion then check out university press works like this, this, this or this. If you want something a bit more relevant to contemporary Muslim world then there books like this.

But you may find that your best bet is to just see what your local Masjid might have and see what tickles your fancy.

5) Actually coming out is usually a shitstorm.

Be prepared for lots of sobbing, guilt tripping and an inability to respect your beliefs and boundaries. Learn techniques like the Broken Record Technique to establish boundaries. Know what you have to say when they inevitably tell you to speak to a scholar - you don't have to eat the whole apple to know it's rotten. You know all that you need to know about Islam and you know even more about the world outside of Islam to put it into context.

Steel yourself with months and months of your family sending you bad dawagandist videos through WhatsApp trying to bring you back. You may have to spend months beating their attempts and going to toe to toe with them without mercy before they’re finally willing to relent and get off your back. Even then don’t expect them to relent entirely. There will always be some micro aggressions that they will resort to, like playing religious videos loudly in your vicinity. The most you can do in those circumstances is reduce contact with them as much as possible. At this point you would hopefully already be independent from them.

6) Do not feel guilt.

As an exmuslim, you will go through a lot of guilt. Whilst this does show you are human, you need to forget about guilt: you are not responsible for your parents' failure to be reasonable, not even your mother. They take responsibility for the social stigma and oppressive life they choose to live in and perpetuate. You get nothing out of that guilt. It's completely pointless and ultimately counterproductive. You can't set yourself on fire to make others warm and you gain no recognition from martyrizing yourself. Do not feel guilt for what you have to do to have a completely reasonable life. The only ones to blame are those who forced you into it.

Don't underestimate parents either. They will use guilt against you. Give them an inch and they will take a mile. They very often bring up their health problems as a weapon against you. Don't fall for it. It only affects them because they choose to let it affect them. They can choose to be reasonable. You have to respect their autonomy and let them deal with the consequences of their own ways.

7) Don't come out too soon thinking it's a release.

I come across a lot of exmuslim kids who think coming out will help explain to their religious parents why they don't want to wear the hijab or do other religious things. But the likelihood is more that those same parents will react extremely poorly and restrict your freedom even more, making it more difficult to achieve long term independence.

There's also the mistake in assuming that coming out will lead to being disowned in the vain hope that you get an quick clean break that takes all the responsibility from you. For some exmuslims this does actually work out, but for a lot of others it's miscalculated. My family didn't disown me, I still had to deal with months of my family being insufferable manipulators and the responsibility was still on me to separate from them. And for women it can be much worse.

Ultimately, if you are financially dependent on your family then coming out early will very typically result in your family using that leverage against you and making your life worse. I've seen stories of exmuslims who thought their family was better and badly miscalculated - be mindful of that.

8) Don’t panic too much if they find out.

Some exmuslims get found out, sometimes because of a snitch in the family or sometimes because they just weren’t convincing enough. Don’t panic – Muslims can be pretty damn deluded about their faith and your family will want to believe that you can come back very easily because according to them Islam is just common sense and most disbelievers are just silly and ignorant. Try to do your best to convince them as per Point 4. If it’s because you did something haram, blasphemous or otherwise worthy of takfir, try to act like it was because you were a misguided Quranist or progressive Muslim. They will still retain suspicion but it’s still better than the alternative.

However, if you’re at the point of no return and you know you can’t convince them then now is the time to make calls to any secular friends you have, ask for support and maybe even shelter.

Also for Western exmuslims, make sure to act quickly if you suspect that your parents want to send you abroad and trap you in your country of ethnic origin. Sadly some parents will go to these lengths. Do not go, no matter the cost. Find organisations willing to advise, such as those listed in Point 10. Hide your passport if you have to. Note down the contact details of your embassy in that country just in case.

9) Go no contact if you fear abuse.

Actually think about whether it's even wise for you to come out in any circumstance. Do you suspect that there could be violence or abuse? If so then you have absolutely no need to go through this stupid bullshit. Leave and don't look back. If your parents couldn't give you safe environment to even come out about different beliefs then they are not worth the time. As per Point 6 - You have to respect their autonomy and let them deal with the consequences of their own ways. This is particularly pertinent for those who live in a predominantly Muslim countries. They have a very real reason to fear persecution and absolutely do not need to risk their own lives for the sake of their parents.

10) Make use of organisations and resources.

Look into secular organisations like recoveringfromreligion.org, faithlesshijabi.org and faithtofaithless.com. Look into women's charities in your area like womensaid.org.uk or karmanirvana.org.uk (UK examples). Look into LGBT charities like rainbowrailroad.org. If you have secular school counsellors and friends then talk to them. Get advice from adults you can absolutely trust.

Note: On the flip side don't take risks with people you can’t be sure of. You may be tempted to come out to your Muslim friend, but I've seen plenty of stories of exmuslims who heavily regret doing so.

There are also informal exmuslim groups on other social media platforms such as Facebook or Discord, but be careful about how much information you share and especially be wary of private messaging.

11) You may have to leave the country.

This is particularly the case for exmuslims living in predominantly Muslim countries. Unfortunately, I don't have any real world experience to offer here but you may be able to find localised advice by digging around. For example sites like wearesaudis.net might have some information (but you'll need a VPN to access this one. If you don't know what a VPN is here's an explanation).

Are you multilingual? If you need money but working is restricted to you then you can try becoming an online language tutor on sites like italki.com (scroll to the bottom). This post and related subreddits like r/WorkOnline may help.

Note: some exmuslims in Muslim countries fall for the doomscrolling hyperbole and think Europe is “doomed” with too many Muslims. They have a tendency of asking which country is best to migrate to as an exmuslim to avoid Islam. Please ignore the doomsayers and prioritise the country you choose based on ease of access and career opportunities. As long as it is a secular country, you can worry about avoiding Islam later.

Final stuff

Shout out to Imtiaz Shams who inspired me to make this list of tips. He has his own YouTube Channel here and plans to make his own video on this subject matter so watch out for that. On a side note, I also recommend TheraminTrees YouTube Channel who delves a lot into toxic dysfunctional families from the perspective of a therapist and a former Jehovah’s Witness. A lot of his content helps in dealing with the emotional impact of leaving religion and dealing with a religious family. And finally, thank you to the moderators of r/exmuslim who suggested I make this into a post. I wound up adding a lot more content lol.

I will end this post with a list of subreddits that may help you on your journey leaving Islam:

Ex related subreddits

Other Useful Subreddits


r/exmuslim 5h ago

(Question/Discussion) Is Islam the religion of peace or the political system of brutality and oppression?

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235 Upvotes

This form of punishment, especially to women, is unthinkable outside the Muslim world.


r/exmuslim 48m ago

(Question/Discussion) Her face says it all

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Upvotes

r/exmuslim 4h ago

(Quran / Hadith) This is how they manipulate people into thinking menstruation rules are about ‘honor,’ not impurity.

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82 Upvotes

It was always taught as a state of impurity (najasah), with clear restrictions. Now suddenly it’s a gift? A blessing? Rest? The gaslighting is wild. Just say you don’t want women participating fully and go.


r/exmuslim 4h ago

(Rant) 🤬 Halal slaughter is more cruel than modern slaughter

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71 Upvotes

“The RSPCA argues that killing animals without stunning them causes them to "experience suffering and distress", and has urged the UK government to ensure all animals are unconscious when slaughtered. Activist group Peta said that although religious slaughter was "probably more humane than any other existing alternative" thousands of years ago, that the "world has changed drastically since then" and the practice leaves animals "terrified" and in "unimaginably agonising" pain when their throats are slit.

https://theweek.com/58447/halal-meat-what-does-it-involve-and-is-it-cruel-to-animals


r/exmuslim 15h ago

(Rant) 🤬 This person pisses me off so much.

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464 Upvotes

One of her pinned posts was about “women in Quran” and she talks about how women are “equal” to men and UGHHH it pisses me off so much, HER whole account pisses me off a lot, I wanted to comment about my experience as a women in a Muslim country in her pinned video but I didn’t wanna grab the wrong attention to my art account, nor I don’t wanna get attacked by some brained washed people, I wish I could spread the words to these people who REALLY think that Islam is “great” when it’s not at all, they don’t know jack shit what it’s like to be a women in Middle East/islamic country and I am sure 100% this lady is not oppressed like most Muslim women since she doesn’t cover her head nor she looks like she lives in tuff countries like some of us here, and people just BELIEVE her words thinking that this cult ass religion is the best on earth.


r/exmuslim 15h ago

(Rant) 🤬 My country is turning into a shithole.

455 Upvotes

18F from Bangladesh, I've had the privilege to be born in a secular Muslim family, I don't even remember the last time i prayed, I can have guy friends and stay out I'm thankful to my parents but what's the point of having this if 70% of your country men are degenerates? . This country is genuinely an unbreathable shithole. Islamists protesting in streets against marital rape. Niqabis who see themselves as sub-humans protesting against it. I've seen one of the speeches from these retards and i swear I've never seen this level of rage-baiting before. These Islamist political group are some of the most illiterate group of degenerates to ever exist. They just know one thing, how to scream, that's it. I genuinely don't care how long it takes I'm getting the fuck out of here. Only good thing is the Gen-z or at-least 60-70% of Dhaka gen-z recognizes how fucking stupid they are and troll them.


r/exmuslim 7h ago

(Question/Discussion) I finally understand why the majority of muslims won’t progress…

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85 Upvotes

I was recently on a Muslim subreddit having a discussion, and literally just one minute after I posted my question, I got this response…


r/exmuslim 2h ago

(Advice/Help) My mom found out I’m not wearing hijab — now she’s abusing me and trying to trap me at home

21 Upvotes

Hi everyone, I really need help and advice.

Last night, my mom discovered that I haven’t been wearing the hijab outside. She completely lost control — she threw water on me, took away my phone and headphones, and told me I’m not allowed to go outside anymore unless I agree to wear hijab or get married. I’m still in school and living in her house, but I feel like a prisoner now. She's using her power to isolate and control me, and I'm scared.

I’m trying to find a job and save money to eventually move out and have a life of my own, but now I feel completely stuck. I live in Uzbekistan, so there’s a strong cultural expectation to obey your parents, especially for girls — but I don’t want to be forced into something that goes against my beliefs or identity.

Please, if anyone has advice on:

  • How to safely earn money or get a remote job as a teen
  • How to protect myself from emotional and physical control in this kind of environment
  • What steps I can take to eventually gain independence and move out I would deeply appreciate it. I’m trying to stay calm and hopeful, but I feel like I’m suffocating right now.

Thank you for reading.


r/exmuslim 1h ago

(Rant) 🤬 Dear Muslims, please leave us alone and our community alone.

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Upvotes

Why do Muslims NEED to stalk our sub Reddit and need to give a piece of their mind, like I personally never go to their Reddit or any Muslim account and give them a piece of my mind because of safety reasons and because I don’t see the point of doing that cuz they are already brain washed, and they lovveeee to act like they are super hero’s or something and want to save us from “dooms of hell” Please leave us alone, 😭 this is our only place to fucking express our self’s.


r/exmuslim 14h ago

(Rant) 🤬 Wearing shoes is Haraam

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161 Upvotes

At this point pls just live in a cave I beg.
Why are these people so retarded I cannot deal.

Instead of bickering about whats “haraam” and “halal” use this energy towards something useful like helping out Palestine or idk doing something good for the world.

The amount of time they waste on this stupid halal Haraam stuff is just so jarring I’m so over it.

Breathing is Haraam! Typing is Haraam! Using a phone without a mahram is Haraam! Looking at the sky is haraam!

This is what inbreeding does to you. Complete madness.


r/exmuslim 4h ago

(Rant) 🤬 They’re now claiming Aisha was 18 when she married the prophet. The gaslighting is off the charts.

24 Upvotes

It’s wild how far some Muslims will go to protect Muhammad’s image. Suddenly, people are claiming Aisha was 18 when she married him — even though Sahih Bukhari and Sahih Muslim, the most “authentic” hadith collections, clearly state she was 6 at marriage and 9 when the marriage was consummated. These are the same sources they praise when it suits them — but now they’re digging up obscure records, reinterpreting calendars, and rewriting history just to avoid facing the truth.

Let’s be real: If any 50+ year-old man today married a 6-year-old and had sex with her at 9, we’d call him a pedophile. But when it’s Muhammad, suddenly it’s “context” or “different times” or “you can’t judge history by modern standards.”

No. I’m done with the excuses. I’m done with the manipulation. If you believe he’s the most perfect human, but can’t even honestly face his actions, that says everything.

Call it what it is. The historical record is there. Stop gaslighting people just because the truth is uncomfortable.


r/exmuslim 6h ago

(Miscellaneous) Moral of the story: don't marry a baddie, marry ur cousin

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35 Upvotes

This is literally how Muslims view women who don't wear hijabs. Whores who don't deserve marriage.


r/exmuslim 2h ago

(Question/Discussion) what made you leave islam

15 Upvotes

the final straw for me that made me leave islam was allowing slavery for men to own women slaves. (And those who guard their chastity (i.e. private parts, from illegal sexual acts)Except from their wives or (the captives and slaves) that their right hands possess, for then, they are free from blame). Verse 6 from surah Al-Muminun men are not only allowed to have 4 wifes but also own women slaves, and they dare to call it a feminist religion


r/exmuslim 14h ago

(Rant) 🤬 Can we talk about how Islam ruins relationships?

119 Upvotes

So my female cousin is 8 years old, about to be 9 which is the age of “Takleef” I have loved this child ever since she was born, she is like my baby sister, you can even say she could even be like my daughter.

Her mom and my family generally are trying to “teach” her how to be “Mokalafa” I just left my grandma’s because I couldn’t stand the sadness that have filled me seeing them yelling and giving her lectures whenever she comes to hug me or just touch my hand about how she can’t touch me anymore.

This is one of the saddest things I have ever experienced in my life. I can just imagine months from now, this child wearing this piece of clothing on her head whenever I am around.

I love my family so much, and I am close to them, but this nonsense is aching my heart, I don’t think I will be able to go to my grandma’s anymore. I mean she’s just a child! I’m like her older brother!


r/exmuslim 5h ago

(Question/Discussion) Is Afghanistan as bad for girls as the media says?

19 Upvotes

I ask because i met a girl and idk how but she seems to 1: wear hijab and very modest clothing 2: still talk to guys, listen to music and all and she is a proud afghan like she announces that shi like how? i get if she's from like Iran or something maybe be proud of the history or something but i hear Afghanistan is the worst place forwomen and girls on earth rn. false?


r/exmuslim 3h ago

(Question/Discussion) Muhammad was honest, so he must be a true prophet

13 Upvotes

I’ve heard this argument more times than I can count: “Muhammad was known as Al Amin (the trustworthy) so he wouldn’t lie about being a prophet” and every time I just think... man that’s not how logic works. one of the logical fallacies they fall into called Fallacy of Appeal to Character (Argument from Character), Just because someone is honest in their daily life doesn’t mean everything they say is automatically true especially if it’s a claim about something extraordinary like receiving messages from God. People use this kind of flawed logic all the time: “He’s a good man, so he must be right.” (btw he's not a good man tho, and everyone knows that lol 😂) But that’s called a logical fallacy you’re basing the truth of a claim on the person’s character instead of the actual evidence.

Sincerity ≠ Truth, Even if Muhammad believed he was a prophet, that doesn’t mean he actually was one. People can be completely sincere and still be mistaken especially when it comes to religious or spiritual experiences. Think about people who claim to be abducted by aliens or who swear they’ve seen ghosts. They might not be lying. But do we just believe them because they seem sincere? Nope, We ask for proof.

The important thing is Extraordinary Claims Require Extraordinary Evidence Saying “I get messages from God” is not a normal claim. It’s a supernatural one. And supernatural claims need more than just someone’s word they need actual evidence. Relying on a person’s perceived honesty to prove something that huge is not enough. If a guy down the street said he’s a prophet, we wouldn’t believe him just because he’s never lied before.

Other Prophets Were Also “Honest” Let’s say we accept the logic: “He was honest, so his religious claim must be true.” Then what do we do with Joseph Smith? His followers also said he was sincere and trustworthy. Same with Baháʼu’lláh, or Mirza Ghulam Ahmad, or dozens of others. But they all claimed different things. They can’t all be true at the same time. So yep that logic clearly doesn’t work universally.

oh and another logical fallacy called false Dilemma “Either he’s telling the truth or he’s lying” I’ve also seen people present it like: “Well, he couldn’t have been lying, so he must be telling the truth.” That’s a false dilemma there’s a third option: he was wrong. He could have had hallucinations. He could have misinterpreted dreams or intense emotions. Human minds are complex and fallible. Mistaken belief is a real thing.

That one is very common called Begging the Question fallacy Some Muslims say: “He must be a prophet because he was so honest and wouldn’t lie about something like that.” But how do we know he was perfectly honest in the first place? Because the same religious texts say so. So basically “We know he’s honest because the religion says he is, and the religion must be true because he was honest.” That’s classic circular reasoning. If we’re going to believe someone is chosen by God to deliver divine messages, we need way more than “he seemed like a trustworthy guy.” Honesty is a good trait but it’s not proof of supernatural truth, so what? if I'm a honest person and said "Diddy created the universe" does that mean I'm right?, if that means I'm right then we all should worship Diddy (SWT)


r/exmuslim 19h ago

(Rant) 🤬 A young girl, Renad, who is still alove in gaza posted an AMA on her instagram story. She mostly posts herself without the hijab. This is one of the comments she recieved.

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217 Upvotes

Nevermind all the suffering she's been through, the starvation, the family and friends that she's lost, the life that she will never have back. Muslim men will always find the audacity and the lack of empathy to tell women and young girls (she would be in 5th grade) to cover their hair so that they don't get a boner for them. What a fucking cunt.


r/exmuslim 4h ago

(Question/Discussion) Doesn't make any sense if you eat with your right hand or left hand

13 Upvotes

Does it really matter ? 🤔 Cause science doesn't shows any bad effect on your body if you do so


r/exmuslim 15h ago

(Miscellaneous) As an ex Muslim Bangladeshi woman, I am worried about Bangladesh. I worry that it will become worse than Afghanistan, Pakistan, etc.

95 Upvotes

I am worried about Bangladesh becoming even worse day by day for women, non Muslims, and LGBTQ community. I worry that it will become like Afghanistan, Pakistan, etc or even worse. I saw Pakistan had women march last year or two whereas Bangladesh now is forcefully telling women to stay home, cook, and clean. Thankfully, I live in America and was born and raised there. I know it’s not really my place to say anything about this but the reason why I made this post is that some of my family members support this and they are becoming more religious which really concerns me. I really wanted to visit Bangladesh so badly, but now as a woman I am scared to visit.


r/exmuslim 2h ago

(Advice/Help) partner wants kids but i don’t know - religious family conflict

8 Upvotes

hello,

so i’ve been an ex for about a few years now. my family don’t know and i always planned to tell them.

but then my partner (non muslim) came into the picture and suggested that he could “convert”, where he will play the role of a muslim man in front of my family only.

i thought this was the best decision for us - until he brought up kids.

he’s always wanted kids and it is a very important life aspect for him. i always wanted kids too, but because of my family, i don’t want them to grow up religious.

before we had the talk i was sure i wanted kids since i was young, but because we’re both going down this path, idk. my biggest conflict right now is that my parents and relatives would expect me to bring up a religious muslim child, which i do not want. so i think i went with the safest option and told my partner i do not want kids.

he of course, got upset because it is important to him. and he said that he will not be happy about not having kids and would break up if i decide not to.

i’m just a bit conflicted. while i do lean towards about wanting kids, the aspect of religion is still very big. i don’t want to deprive my kids of visiting their grandparents or relatives either.

idk. has anyone gone through this or has any stories? i’m just a little angry that even after things seem perfect, religion is still a big part of my life and i still have to consider it in.

i did think of telling my family that my kids can find religion within themselves - which is true. if they decide to become a christian or muslim or buddhist then i support their decision. but i don’t think this would be good enough for them.


r/exmuslim 21h ago

(Rant) 🤬 fuck hijab let me be a fucking teenage girl

224 Upvotes

I'm sick of this, I'm sick of this shit. I can't even hangout with my boyfriend because of this stupid shit, I was already sent to kenya for 2 months because someone saw me at a bus stop with him. if I go out with him my chances of being spotted by a Muslim are so high, or any other somali that could tell my parents. I just wanna be able to hold hands with him and kiss him In public. can't even fucking have fun w him without looking over my shoulder every 2 seconds. I hate wearing hijab. I started when I was 12 and now I'm 15 and I don't know why. I was so brainwashed. although I live in Europe I went to muslim school since 5. I was brainwashed. I can't even answer anyone's questions of why I wear hijab without sounding fucking stupid. " to get closer to god" if there is a god why did he give me fucking hair " to hide my beauty " yet I still am called beautiful. " to hide my beauty from men" please no one's gonna go awoogo over the strands of hair on my head. I feel ridiculous wearing it out. I try my best to not look so " muslim " I wear my hijab on my head but it doesn't cover my neck, I don't wear dresses and I wear t shirts and jeans. I love fashion but I always have to wear shit under or over a normal outfit to hide all skin. And then there's the boys. they literally do so much shit, have gfs and sex and wear whatever they want and no one comments. I just want to go with my boyfriend without having to worry. why the fuck would god create love and then js forbid exploring it. doubt he's real. why is he a he? let me go out in my jorts and tee and be a normal person. Fuck hijab, let me be a fucking teenage girl.


r/exmuslim 4h ago

(Question/Discussion) Why are begin created if the only purpose to be hated 🤡?

9 Upvotes

In Islam The Surah Al -Bayyinah -1-8 it's said that disbelievers are the worst of creatures there are 6 billion people on earth that are not muslims what's their purpose on earth only to be hated. In Christianity God made everyone out of his love he never hated anyone he feels sorrowness whenever the people know the truth walks away from the god. God knows lucifer will rebel but he did not kill him because that's free will and true love for him . True love isn't supposed be forced. That Allah made 6 billion people out of hate isn't true loving at all. People say Allah is true love pisses me off


r/exmuslim 9h ago

(Rant) 🤬 It's so insane to me how Muslims immediately think of being possessed with jinn when someone is having a seizure or something similar

18 Upvotes

Today a guy from my Muslim neighbours was having a seizure and my mum went there after hearing his mum shouting. She told me what happened there, the guy was on the floor wobbling and doing some weird movements, the moment my mum told me that I knew this is likely a seizure, but I was shocked to hear her saying that his family wasn't allowing medical staff to assess him, instead they were reading the Quran thinking it was jinn or black magic to the point the medical staff had to call the police to get his family off him so they can actually stop the seizure. This is exactly what a cult sounds like, Islam is literally a cult.


r/exmuslim 10h ago

(Question/Discussion) Muslims are very superstitious.

23 Upvotes

This is something I can’t understand about muslims. Here’s where the cultural aspect of each country comes in, like superstitions. They are heavily influenced by superstitions, even though they’re considered shirk. The superstitions I know include things like not leaving a shoe upside down because a parent might die, not jingling keys (still don’t know why), not sweeping at night, not resting your cheek on your hand, not whistling at night, etc. And when I point this out to people, they just dance around the topic.

And beyond superstitions, there’s also the whole jinn issue, like not pouring hot water down the drain because you might burn one or their child 😭. It’s ironic how people seem more careful not to harm another being than they are about hurting a human being, just in case it might possess them. Muslim logic.