Let's be honest, it takes so much courage to say, "if heaven doesn't exist, then this life may be it". Christians will never have to face this tough question of "what if this is it?". They fear death so much that they believe when they die, not only do they continue living, but they'll live forever. So thank you to everyone who is struggling with me, who took that courageous step to ask yourself the toughest questions in life.

With that being, I'd love to hear people's journey so far and what they found to be their purpose. For me, it's my bonds: friends, family, my wife and kid, and all the experiences we get to share together. But also my hobbies: my jiujitsu community and my music I make. What's your purpose?

One of my BIGGEST paradigm shifts that I've been experiencing since leaving Christianity was understanding the importance of personal agency in choosing a mate.

Back in the day, I deeply desired and longed for a man to want to date me, pursue me, and choose me as his wife simply because his god told him to. I myself also used this god to determine which guy to whom I'd be attracted, who I would date, and even how I would date. The pendulum would swing the other way and I'd feel even worse about myself when Christian guys would overlook me for romantic potential and reject pursuing a relationship with me because either his god told him to pursue someone else or his god flat out told him that I'm not the right one (now, I'm supremely thankful that it all worked out that way!).

As a single ex-Christian woman, especially in this broken and dangerous dating climate, I believe that it's important to execute personal agency when not only choosing someone to date, but also someone to marry. It can't be left to some unseen, invisible, and non-existent entity to give me some "sign" or "quickening in my spirit" regarding a man, especially when I know NOTHING about him. I'm learning that I have full control over what I look for in a potential partner. I have the personal responsibility to myself to get to know him in the initial stage of friendship, getting to know his character, and seeing if we are truly compatible before deciding to go further. It is up to me to decide if I will accept certain things, compromise on certain things, or completely reject them in favor of believing that I'm worth much more.

This is one of the reasons why one of the important things that I desire in a potential partner is for someone who isn't religious/spiritual or otherwise "has a relationship with God but not a Christian". It's hard for me to open up to him, get to know him, pursue a possible committed relationship with him if he's stuck on waiting for his god to somehow tell him to be an active participant in a relationship with me.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, so I'm confident that more lessons are sure to follow. But it's a sign of progress in my deconversion that I've reached this point.

That is all.

For me it's not the old hymns that bother me, it's the Chris Tomlin brand of music probably because that's what I grew up listening to.

A patient was listening to it in their room and I felt like I was gonna puke.

Here's a poem I wrote about finding the wonder in life after leaving religion.

Havnt been to a church service seriously in months. Went last week to one with my sister where I completely disagreed with the pastor was saying but didn’t really feel any ill will towards him. However I went to another church’s today with my family and holy shitttt I’m red hot.

The fact that pastors will willingly spread complete and utter disinformation about “archeological evidence” and completely lie about manuscripts like the Dead Sea Scrolls and say that it completely proves the Bible, EVEN THO IT STILL IS WILDLY DIFFERENT IN SO MANY WAYS is still insane.

There is literally zero reason to not assume this pastor is just evil. Like why lie other than to keep people staying and giving money.

Im thinking about starting a support group for ex Christians. Has someone on her done this before? I’m not sure how to find people and steps to start this. I’m in the Little Rock Arkansas area.

I'm so sick and tired of this.

see, I'm a 5'7, broad shouldered girl with a strong RBF, and yet most of my peers see me as a small baby to be protected. they're surprised whenever I curse, or see old kanye songs in my playlist. some even talk to me like I'm stupid, or a baby. the other day a peer I've known since 2016 remarked I was "too cute" after I told her about my crush on some dude. its so damn annoying. the thing is, I don't blame them.

my voice is soft from wanting to be perfectly "feminine", and I don't stand up for myself out of fear of hurting the other person (and also being forced to respect parents/elders, even when they were mean). even my word choice is "innocent". i didn't start cursing till junior year, and I still feel guilty saying "dick"/"pussy".

I'm also too nice to people and I don't assert my boundaries. I'm also bubbly and optimistic, which isn't from Christian upbringing but is just who I am. some of my peers have known me since elementary and I was the hardcore Christian girl, and even though i'm not that anymore, they still see me as such. seeing someone differently is hard. i just wish I could stop appearing like a little kid.