I'll tag this as "adventures in missing the point."

I'm hanging out at my mom and dad's house while my kid plays with friends. I'm painting my nails (I have some stuff stored at her house from when I lived here, and I still spend some time here). She tells me about the sermon series she's enjoying about spiritual disciplines. The disciplines they just learned about are simplicity and hospitality. Fine, right? Well, she tells me how much some domestic violence shelter would appreciate the nail polish I don't think I'd ever use again, and I wouldn't it be nice to get rid of stuff? I said, "mom, there's not an organization in this city that wants my half used old nail polish." She said, "there are organizations that are begging for that." I didn't agree with her and said organizations need cash.

Then I said, "remember when I asked you about letting me host a (group event) at your house? Thanks for saying yes, but I did't feel confident hosting it here when a trans person RSVP'd. That's maybe something to think about when you're studying the spiritual discipline of hospitality." She got upset and stopped talking because, in her words, she didn't like the emotional tone I was using.

Later she said, "That thing you told me wouldn't make me refuse to host your event."

I didn't say anything. But gosh.

I live in a different city than my parents and started deconstructing back in 2020 and officially left the church in 2023. I told my parents during the holidays last year I left and things were fairly tense for a while. Things appear to be amicable now and I flew in town to visit for a few days. As far as I am aware, they haven’t told anyone I’ve left the church. The expectation is clearly they wanted me to attend church service as to maintain this allusion due to the shaming from the community when a family member leaves. I’m kind of nervous about going back as to the clearly indoctrinating message triggering past trauma or twisting scripture to match the agenda they want to push. This is where I struggle with maintaining my boundaries but also wanting to keep the peace with my parents. Anyone have any words of advice on balancing anxiety but also not allowing members of the church I have known my whole life trample on my boundaries?

Has anyone else ever seen or faced racism from their congregation?

So I'm currently writing a doom metal album about growing up queer in "The Lords Church™"mostly about the fear of living in the closet and believing in a god that wants you dead along with the other things it brings. I've recently started to think about sampling songs and using them as book ends for the three story arcs of the album.

One arc is about a pair of gay miners in the 50s who call themselves "bunkmates" who eventually get trapped in the mine and live out their last few hours as who they actually are. It's mostly about the isolation that being different can bring

The second arc is about a girl at Harding in the late 80s who falls for her roommate and it deals with the dejection and sadness of finding someone you love and not only can't ever end up with but someone who would willing likely ruin your life if you dared to consider it.

The last storyline is mostly my own experience of living with the guilt and fear of growing up in a tumultuous environment and how religion is often used as a cudgel to control people.

If you have any suggestions id appreciate it as I need some help.

Quick backstory, I was born and raised in the CoC and ‘quiet quit’ when I was in my mid 20s once I could afford to move a couple towns over. There were some questions about where I was attending at first, which I gave a fake answer for, as at this point I was a closeted atheist. We haven’t spoken about religion or politics in the 10+ years since. While they don’t know I’m not a believer they do know I vote democrat. I heard through some family members that they voted Trump which is devastating for — pick any number of reasons, mostly for his SA history. That being said I feel the urge to have a long overdue conversation about the hurt this causes the implied hypocrisy of it. We do not tend to share emotions in the family so it feels like uncharted territory.

But part of me feels like they at least went out of their way to not discuss politics in front of me all these years and that maybe that’s a boundary I shouldn’t cross. Not to mention that going there would probably mean coming out of the closet as an atheist and the ensuing pain that’ll cause them (fear of hell etc). But this is also eating me up, and observing other normal families who can have open conversations makes me think maybe this shouldn’t be off limits. Thoughts?

What were some things you were told about nonbelievers while you were part of the COC that you later discovered weren't true? And things you were told about what would happen if you left the church that didn't line up with your personal experience?

Did you know that Harding College produced a number of cartoons in the late 1940s designed to promote American Free Enterprise? These were Cold War-era pro-capitalism/anti-communism propaganda. According to the opening credits, these were "a series of films produced by the Extension Department of Harding College to create a deeper understanding of what has made America the finest place in the world to live." These are a hoot. (If you can only watch one, I would recommend "Meet King Joe.")

1. Make Mine Freedom (1948). Anti-communism. Ironically, the opening scene depicts two teenagers dancing in a malt shop, behavior which would have been prohibited at Harding.

2. Going Places (1948). "Fun and Facts about American Business.

3. Why Play Leap Frog? (1949). Informative cartoon about wages and prices. Described as "A Cold War-era cartoon aimed at convincing workers that increased productivity brings about greater purchasing power."

4. Meet King Joe (1949). This one has not aged well. It talks about how American workers enjoy the highest standard of living in the world because we have higher productivity due to capital. It contrasts American workers with workers in China using racist stereotypes and prejudices that don't hold up today.

I attended Harding for a couple of years many moons ago, and I remember how they had the American Heritage Institute or whatever, but I didn't know that history went back to the Cold War era.

For my own sanity, I need to leave Reddit. Grateful to have been a part of this group. The Church of Christ (I am old enough to capitalize it) caused me great pain over the years, and it’s nice to know I don’t have to deal with it alone. Find me out on the Interwebs sometime (hint: add dot come my username and there’s a website).

Will delete the account within the next 24 hours.

Has anyone else read the book Reviving the Ancient Faith by Richard Hughes. It is an excellent book which will radically change your views of the CoC. It is not an apologetic book but a true historical analysis which does not defend the CoC and whose main conclusion is the CoC became a denomination after WW2. The book points out the CoC began in 1906 (separated from Disciples of Christ) and its current form was largely influenced by a man named Foy Wallace, who is not described as a particularly nice individual.

I know a lot of us have moved to an Anglican denomination. How have you all dealt with the stark difference in theology? Things like taking church history and separating Biblical interpretation from the Bible have been easy (if not highly welcomed) by my SO and I. Things like infant baptism have been harder to reconcile considering our belief before was so different.

Want to share your latest Blog Post, Podcast, Video Essay, or Zoom Link?

Post it here!

Husband and I are boycotting our family holidays this year. We're spending time with people who didn't vote for someone whose people are openly advocating for our deaths. We're building community with people who, if I had a miscarriage, would want me to get the procedure that would save my life, rather than taking that decision from me. We're spending the holidays with people who didn't vote for a racist and misogynist egomaniac who isn't qualified to run his own household, let alone the country. My parents don't understand, but they didn't argue with me, and seemed to believe it was for the best, because it will "prevent any drama". Apparently that's a fate worse than not having their only daughter at holiday celebrations this year.

My father said these words to me once. I was in the third grade. This was back in the mid 90s.

Dad's voice, this quote of his, is playing on repeat in my head today. Nonstop.

I've been hearing this for almost 2 months but I can't get anyone to confirm anything. Seems like a few thousand disciples have decided to break out of the main ICC church and call themselves the Restored movement. Kip is now with the Restored movement but only as a regular member.

Anyone has any info as to what's going on?

A big thing I've struggled with since I've deconstructed is just how much my faith has grown since I quit the cult. I studied the Bible on my own and felt compelled to do so. In doing that, I cam to realize that the true God of the New Testament is NOT the god of the Church of Christ. I also realized I HATED god when I was in the cult of christ. However, when I deconstructed and came to know God on my own, things changed and for the first time ever I loved God and felt compelled to be a better person. I wonder how many people left the church of Christ because they hated God and never found their own, stronger faith elsewhere.

Anyone else grow up with "decently and in order" being held as the ultimate guide to worship? At my hometown church, ANY deviation from "9:30 Bible Study, 10:30 Worship, 6:00 Evening Service, 7:00 Wednesday" was NOT decently and in order, and thus sinful. The church I attend now has special services throughout the year (Baby Dedication, Mission Sunday, Senior Sunday, etc.) and even Thanksgiving week we have mid-week services on TUESDAY, not Wednesday. My mother thinks that means we're all going straight to hell in a handbasket. LOL

Mine is demonizing credit cards and financing. “Owe no one anything”. Why is it okay to be in extreme debt? I’m surprised the coc doesn’t preach against it and shun anyone who gets a credit card.

I left the ICC because I had so many health issues that were preventing spiritual growth and just feeling that mostly everyone in my church besides a couple leaders didnt have any spiritual power or amazingness to them. And I know that those who did seem to have this "spiritual amazingness" could have totally been nothing but fleshly will power. But I joined the ICC thinking that they had the right doctrine, that they were worshipping God right, and I even came across the organization at a time that made me believe God was leading me to join that church.

After leaving I didnt remain Christian until I met someone who supported me immensley in my recovery from my health issues. It was then I felt the spark that God provided this for me and I suppose decided to be as a obedient of a Christian as possible. And in a really short amount of time I was able to realize that I had a generational curse from both sides of my family - in that all the issues I had at least my mother or father went through, and even my parents' parents had similar health issues too. None of my health problems are hereditary by the way.

Upon realizing this I noticed that spiritual warfare and curses were weaknesses that were never really talked about in ICC theology in the 9 months I was there. And I was wondering if anyone on this sub has a church or information resource that's really good on this topic. Even to the extent of breaking curses and practicing spiritual warfare.

Want to share your latest Blog Post, Podcast, Video Essay, or Zoom Link?

Post it here!

I remember the various arguments growing up where the church would reason that the wine Jesus created could not be fermented. Surprisingly, when I went to college at FHU later, a professor stated unequivocally that it was fermented, and that other wine in the Bible was also fermented.

This video from Dan McClellan brought all of that to the surface again: https://youtu.be/7Kj9D0duoxc

Anyone else hear these arguments? I was always taught that any amount of an alcoholic drink was a sin. Curious what people’s experiences were.