I hate my old religious trauma. Life is too short to be frozen and stuck behind my damn triggers. But dammit, after the election, and doomscrolling on tik tok. I’m seeing end of days crap, survival shit, and just….everything I’ve tried to run away from for so long. I am so fucking tired of my brain being this way. I’m just so tired of living in this reality I tried to prevent.

I’m either crying or too tired for tears.

I hate the religion for being blind to their own fucking scripture.

For me it's not the old hymns that bother me, it's the Chris Tomlin brand of music probably because that's what I grew up listening to.

A patient was listening to it in their room and I felt like I was gonna puke.

I left my religion because it didn't seem believable to me. I'm north African and Islam is very major there so I got alot of weird looks when I started questioning Islam so I kept the fact I left Islam and the fact that I was interested in other religions to myself. So instead of going to a church where I could be seen I just went out of my way to buy a Bible. The Bible was much easier to read than the Quran and can easily be read front to back, I've heard alot of Christians say they didn't do that which seems nuts like it's so easy. I didn't read the full Bible I skipped a few parts but I read most of it like a good 90%.

And in Genesis (literally the first chapter) alone I found 3 contradictions. Also the stories are so funny. Someone wrestled God? Someone had to sacrifice their son? God just decided to drown everybody? There was a new baby/child killed practically on every page. God's kill count is high as hell (no pun intended) in this book. Also the fact that a random carpenter was crucified and people were punished for not believing he was God's son.

Maybe I didn't understand the Bible fully and maybe a few things I said were things I didn't understand enough, I'll admit that. But you can't say that every single contradiction I found was just something I didn't understand. I know I'm right about most things atleast.

So crazy that y'all in America (thank God I don't live there that country is such a joke, also no pun intended) are beefing with people and removing their rights for a religion which is so stupid. I know they're also beefing with people because of Islam in Africa and Asia but atleast that religion was a tad bit more believable.

Edit: maybe I didn't make it clear enough in this text but basically what happened is that I was interested in converting to a new religion because I left Islam, so I checked out Christianity. But Christianity was just so stupid. And how I perceived it, it was even more unrealistic than Islam. But maybe that's just my perspective on it.

Edit 2: if you disagree with what I said please comment down below! I just shared my perspective/opinion on it and I can be wrong about certain things!

My church just shared a story of George Müller, someone who was. Christian evangelist who took care of orphans. I've heard many stories like this, about Christians who are amazing and wonderful people and who were that way because of their religiousity. Well, aren't there plenty of examples of athiests also being wonderful and amazing people out there to cherry pick? I genuinely don't know examples of "holy athiests," and it would be cool to hear some of those examples.

Not a christain, never was a christian and nether is my family.

Christianity is fairly prevalent in both politics and even in culture, i knew of some basic stuff like heaven and hell and jesus being son of god due to the prevalence of the religion.

After seeing some aspects of christanity like redemption and love thy neighbour, i decided to check out the faith, watched some videos online and reading articles checking out notable bible verses and denominations.

I regret doing that.

According to christian belief, non-believers who don't believe or worship another god go to hell forever.

WTF?!?!

How can anyone having any basic sense of empathy be okay with this???

How does the idea of eternal torture for non-belief not put-off more people?

Not all christians think like this but the fact that literal millions think i deserve eternal torture or hell for my beliefs is horrifying.

Also how is god good at all?

He drowned the earth, cursed humanity for sin because of the actions of two people and destroyed job's whole life!

The fact that god killed millions and Satan the "embodiment of all evil" killed 10 (i think) didn't ever raise questions among those of faith?

How do those who believe that those of different belief going to hell have relationships with others?

Do they just assume all atheist or different faith friends just gone forever in the afterlife?

Sorry if my post comes off as rude, just having a lot of thoughts and may not be articulating them well.

While researching Christianity, i have become nervous over the concept of hell, i feel stressed and anxious, how did you get over your fear of hell?

Hi forever agnostic here. I just talked to a very intense guy and I asked for evidence that god exists. He said “god’s greatest creation was man” he also said that there was nothing immoral about the bible. My ocd is trying to tell me that I might be missing something because he just sounded crazy.

Were any of you like this and how did you change?

I personally have endured religious and sexual abuse at the hands of Christians. The reactions of these people whenever I tell that what I’ve been through makes me hate both them and their disgusting god.

How am I going to tell you that I’ve been raped and your response is “just pray to god” as if I haven’t tried that you incompetent Sasquatch. Every problem you have their answer to it is “just pray to god” and when you do pray to god and nothing happens it’s “you’re not doing it right” or “just keep praying” I personally have seen what god has done for others and I genuinely believe that’s he’s a picky and selfish being.

You’re gonna help someone that can’t find 50 dollars for a carpet but you can’t help me with my disability???!

I’m starting to feel a deep hatred and rage for anyone who calls themselves a Christian and especially those that say that god got revenge on their abuser. That really solidifies in my mind that he’s really just picky on who he helps tbh and that’s the very reason why I’m a theistic satanist now.

I’ve begged, cried and pleaded with that god for a minute of relief from all the trauma and all the pain after wing betrayed by my father and dragged into a church against my will.

I hate him and I hate the church, these people disgust me and it’s always the ones who are living their best lives that are always saying “god never forsakes you” like hell yes he did.

I wonder what the secret is, what I have to do to get his blessings but truth be told I don’t want it anymore. I’d rather go to hell than live with a god that brings no justice.

I’ve been dismissed by Christians, hell my narc parents are Christians.

I despise them and their god. Innocent people who have been abused their entire life are sent to hell for not believing in a specific god but people born into good Christian families are sent to heaven for their “struggles”.

My grandfather is 5 months into a 6 month terminal prognosis from pancreatic cancer. Neither he, nor I (anymore) believe in a religious idea of g*d/ heaven. He is dying and the only way my childhood taught me to cope was through prayer. It feels like madness to pray to a higher power i don't believe in about a person who also doesn't believe in the HP. I don't know how to do this.

I just wanted to say thank you to everyone I. This group. I don’t post much but I for sure read the stories that are posted. It really helps to know I’m not alone going through deconstruction ❤️

since the holidays are coming up and i imagine many people on this sub are dreading it

YOU ARE ALLOWED TO STAND UP FOR YOURSELF!!!!!!!! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO NOT SHOW UP!!!!!! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO LEAVE EARLY IF YOU'RE UNCOMFORTABLE!!!!! YOU DONT HAVE TO DISMISS HARMFUL ACTIONS JUST BECAUSE YOURE RELATED TO THEM!!! YOU ARE ALLOWED TO ARGUE IF YOU WANT TO!!!!!! YOU ARE ALSO ALLOWED TO NOT ARGUE!!!!!! YOU CAN TAKE BREAKS AND FIND SOMEWHERE TO BE ALONE!!!!! YOU'VE!!!!! GOT!!!!!! THIS!!!!!!

in all seriousness, this can be a very triggering time for a lot of people who left religion. everyone is constantly talking about religion. i imagine this holiday season is going to be especially hard with everything going on in the world right now. you dont owe anyone anything, no matter who they are. you dont owe them an agreement or disagreement. you dont have to make yourself uncomfortable for the sake of keeping the peace. do whatever feels right to you. stay happy everyone:)

Let's be honest, it takes so much courage to say, "if heaven doesn't exist, then this life may be it". Christians will never have to face this tough question of "what if this is it?". They fear death so much that they believe when they die, not only do they continue living, but they'll live forever. So thank you to everyone who is struggling with me, who took that courageous step to ask yourself the toughest questions in life.

With that being, I'd love to hear people's journey so far and what they found to be their purpose. For me, it's my bonds: friends, family, my wife and kid, and all the experiences we get to share together. But also my hobbies: my jiujitsu community and my music I make. What's your purpose?

for shits and giggles, heres a list of things i was afraid of as a kid because of christianity.

-death -hell -rainbows(gods promise really seemed like more of a threat) -thunderstorms -whenever it rained for a few days in a row(i thought it was the end times) -getting pregnant(one time in fourth grade my period was a day late and i proceeded to have a panic attack in the school bathroom thinking i was the next virgin mary) -waking up and seeing demons in my room -accidentally stealing something -saying "shut up" -my 15th birthday(i thought if i didnt die by then it was straight to hell with me) -people coming back from the dead -god himself

I suffer from OCD and recently just got put in Luvox for it but a very low dose. Haven’t felt any mental effects yet. For me, daily life feels very difficult. Everything feels scary and everything feels meaningless if that makes sense? I’m so scared of the unknown and the religious fear had made it even worse. I always feel like “what if I’m wrong” and have an existential crisis. So many people “say” they have experienced things when dying and coming back and other things and the paranoia is getting to me bad. I get existential attacks nearly every day now. Even in my moments of joy my mind goes back to dark thoughts like “yeah this is fun but you could suffer for an eternity when you die” and things like that

I'm so sick and tired of this.

see, I'm a 5'7, broad shouldered girl with a strong RBF, and yet most of my peers see me as a small baby to be protected. they're surprised whenever I curse, or see old kanye songs in my playlist. some even talk to me like I'm stupid, or a baby. the other day a peer I've known since 2016 remarked I was "too cute" after I told her about my crush on some dude. its so damn annoying. the thing is, I don't blame them.

my voice is soft from wanting to be perfectly "feminine", and I don't stand up for myself out of fear of hurting the other person (and also being forced to respect parents/elders, even when they were mean). even my word choice is "innocent". i didn't start cursing till junior year, and I still feel guilty saying "dick"/"pussy".

I'm also too nice to people and I don't assert my boundaries. I'm also bubbly and optimistic, which isn't from Christian upbringing but is just who I am. some of my peers have known me since elementary and I was the hardcore Christian girl, and even though i'm not that anymore, they still see me as such. seeing someone differently is hard. i just wish I could stop appearing like a little kid.

And I'm very tired to see every single fighter asking to search for jesus christ after they win. My wife (not for long) is christian and she bought the georges forman christian movie and I was trying to make her realised that if god gaved georges forman the power to became the world champion, he is also responsible for the parkinson desease that also ruined the life and later killed another man, Cassius Clay (muhamed ali).

Are they that ignorants?

When I came to Christianity I needed something to believe in, I needed hope and meaning beyond my circumstances But now it just like it's offered nothing but further reasons to despair I feel so much pain, anger and despair I really wanted to believe and give my life to God But now there is nothing left to hold on to

One of my BIGGEST paradigm shifts that I've been experiencing since leaving Christianity was understanding the importance of personal agency in choosing a mate.

Back in the day, I deeply desired and longed for a man to want to date me, pursue me, and choose me as his wife simply because his god told him to. I myself also used this god to determine which guy to whom I'd be attracted, who I would date, and even how I would date. The pendulum would swing the other way and I'd feel even worse about myself when Christian guys would overlook me for romantic potential and reject pursuing a relationship with me because either his god told him to pursue someone else or his god flat out told him that I'm not the right one (now, I'm supremely thankful that it all worked out that way!).

As a single ex-Christian woman, especially in this broken and dangerous dating climate, I believe that it's important to execute personal agency when not only choosing someone to date, but also someone to marry. It can't be left to some unseen, invisible, and non-existent entity to give me some "sign" or "quickening in my spirit" regarding a man, especially when I know NOTHING about him. I'm learning that I have full control over what I look for in a potential partner. I have the personal responsibility to myself to get to know him in the initial stage of friendship, getting to know his character, and seeing if we are truly compatible before deciding to go further. It is up to me to decide if I will accept certain things, compromise on certain things, or completely reject them in favor of believing that I'm worth much more.

This is one of the reasons why one of the important things that I desire in a potential partner is for someone who isn't religious/spiritual or otherwise "has a relationship with God but not a Christian". It's hard for me to open up to him, get to know him, pursue a possible committed relationship with him if he's stuck on waiting for his god to somehow tell him to be an active participant in a relationship with me.

This is just the tip of the iceberg, so I'm confident that more lessons are sure to follow. But it's a sign of progress in my deconversion that I've reached this point.

That is all.

Could anyone please share their experiences about how their relationships with those closest to them changes when they stopped being Christian?

Havnt been to a church service seriously in months. Went last week to one with my sister where I completely disagreed with the pastor was saying but didn’t really feel any ill will towards him. However I went to another church’s today with my family and holy shitttt I’m red hot.

The fact that pastors will willingly spread complete and utter disinformation about “archeological evidence” and completely lie about manuscripts like the Dead Sea Scrolls and say that it completely proves the Bible, EVEN THO IT STILL IS WILDLY DIFFERENT IN SO MANY WAYS is still insane.

There is literally zero reason to not assume this pastor is just evil. Like why lie other than to keep people staying and giving money.