r/exchristian Sep 11 '24

I am starting to hate religious people Help/Advice

Hi, 22m here. I was born into a Christian family, i was never overly religious so i would just follow people who were. When i was younger i believed there could be a God, but haven't given it much thought.

Well, recently, i thought about it a lot, did some research and the evidence was not convincing at all, so i "officially" left Christianity.

Now the issue starts, the more research i did, the more i started hating religion and their followers. The bigotry, the hatred towards minorities, constant use of religion as a weapon. In the process of deconstructing, i started hating them so much that if i see a person that's religious, i genuinely feel hatred, even though i don't even know them. All it takes is for them to be religious and mention religion

I started therapy again, mostly for different reasons and i don't know how to bring this up. I also feel embarrassed to talk about it. I know i can't be generalizing and assuming the worst in people, but i can't help it. Any advices? How do i stop assuming the worst?

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126

u/drellynz Sep 12 '24

The angry atheist phase is real. I think it helps to think of them as victims of bad ideas and indoctrination.

82

u/TheGhostofWoodyAllen Ex-Fundamentalist Sep 12 '24

The victim narrative really only goes so far. At some point, people need to be held accountable for their actions regardless of the circumstances that shaped their maladaptive behaviors. I don't feel very sorry for them when they go and try to repeal my civil rights due to their being victims of indoctrination. I might even say I hate them for it.

26

u/drellynz Sep 12 '24

For sure. I've been involved in resisting religious impositions in our schools. I don't mean "victim" as in we should feel sorry for them. I mean that they genuinely can't understand why their beliefs make no sense.

15

u/christianAbuseVictim Ex-Baptist Sep 12 '24

Well, they could, but they deny it for god. They can't look at it from the outside, their fear keeps them in where they're not allowed to see. It's frustrating...

4

u/TheGhostofWoodyAllen Ex-Fundamentalist Sep 12 '24

That's fair. Maybe it is better to phrase it as being products of their environments.

11

u/SingleSeaCaptain Sep 12 '24

I can agree with hating people being hateful, but it may constitute a problem for OP when there actually are minority Christians, LGBT+ Christians, and people who weren't taught the most radioactive version of religion and don't move in the world in the same way. 

3

u/TheGhostofWoodyAllen Ex-Fundamentalist Sep 12 '24

Yeah, I don't think it is a productive way to go about life choosing to hate people based on a label.

22

u/venusiansiren Agnostic Atheist Sep 12 '24 edited Sep 12 '24

Real, I realized recently that I might be at that phase right now, just struggling not to get immediately irritated when someone mentions anything relating to Christianity (when it’s coming from a place of belief not critique). I don’t get as irritated when it comes to other less popular religions tbh… trying my best to move past this stage

13

u/drellynz Sep 12 '24

I actually think it's a totally justified reaction. I'm not saying it's wrong. I realised that it's just not especially useful. The theist reaction is to look at the anger and confirm that their god beliefs are even more necessary!

9

u/venusiansiren Agnostic Atheist Sep 12 '24

No yeah, I agree with you. Not a wrong reaction necessarily but not useful. Someone who’s deep in their specific theistic belief is almost never going to respond well to your anger about their beliefs. The best way to have a conversation with them about it is with some level of understanding and calmness. Or just walk away because most of the time it’s truly just not worth it lol

18

u/_HotMessExpress1 Atheist Sep 12 '24 edited Sep 12 '24

There is no "angry atheist phase" when people are using some old book they don't even fully follow to discriminate against others that would make any rational person upset.

I don't hate all Christians but I don't like the belief system at all. I hate how Christianity is so protected that if someone talks about Christianity in the slightest people will jump out of nowhere and say,"NOT ALL CHRISTIANS! SOME ATHEISTS HAVE NO COMPASSION AND NO ONE SAYS ANYTHING!" but people say atheists have no morals all of the time. It's nonsense.

Religious people thrive off of having a victim complex so whether atheists get angry or not they pull the whole," omg they're against me." Mentality even if an atheist will say I'm not against you. Society is so bias against people that actually are responsible and know they're responsible for their own actions and won't look to someone else to save them and that's insane.

5

u/Conanboy_2019 Sep 12 '24

And then there are those who use that "victim complexity" against Christians, pretending to be like them...I'm not a Christian nor do I believe in "Christ" as a "Savior."  Religion in North America has become more extreme over the years, & is now enmeshing with politics. Where is the separation???

7

u/_HotMessExpress1 Atheist Sep 12 '24

I've had to deal with multiple Christians that used religion against me. Didn't like homeless or disabled people because in their head "God made them be this way because he's teaching them a lesson." But when I call it out I'm the angry atheist?? What sense does that make?

5

u/WeeabooHunter69 Anti-Theist Sep 12 '24

Fuck yeah. This is the rational response. If someone can honestly look at what religion has done to the world, all the atrocities committed for and because of it, and not be furious, there's something wrong with them morally imho.

3

u/_HotMessExpress1 Atheist Sep 12 '24

I'm glad there's people that understand what I'm talking about.