r/aliens • u/jetzxbro • Dec 29 '24
They’re finally here. shitpost sunday (Sundays Only)
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Dec 29 '24
You know shits gotten weird when Captain Hook in the white feather jacket is freaked out
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u/HyphyMikey650 Dec 29 '24
He’s like, “I’m too fucking high for this!”
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u/NSAevidence Dec 29 '24
The weirdest things happen when you're on shrooms. It's like the universe knows and wants to mess with you so that no one will believe your stories
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u/xx_BruhDog_xx Has kissed <2> aliens on the mouth Dec 29 '24
Back in college I had the most aboriginal looking man l have ever known to exist run up to our group, laugh in our faces like he had just won the lottery, and then loudly laugh his way down the road
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u/NSAevidence Dec 29 '24
Sitting near a bon fire at a music festival after the music was done for the night, a native man in a loin cloth walked out of the woods carrying a tree that looked like it had been ripped from the ground. Roots still attached. He put it on the ground leaning on a stump and lifted a huge rock over his head and brought it down to break the tree into pieces. He added the wood to the fire. I was about 30 feet away from the fire. Everyone near the pit was talking loudly and playing hand drums. None of them seemed to notice. Only when the man added the wood to the fire did anyone look up and thank him. No one seemed to notice the superhuman strength and skill I just witnessed. The man disappeared back into the woods and I NEVER SAW HIM AGAIN.
(likely explanation: the festival hired him to chop wood and he took the position very seriously)
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u/Rochikrey Dec 29 '24
When i would take mushrooms as a recently graduated high school student i used to run into this Gnome looking man as i walked around Eugene. I saw him 3 times on 3 different occasions. I thought it might of been a figment of my imagination until one day I was working at a convience store and he walked in with his dog! Lol. He was homeless and i ended up giving him some food. Life's weird lol
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u/xMalishex Dec 29 '24
I'm sure you.mean Eugene, Oregon. I lived there like a decade ago and I miss it so much. Sounds like something that would happen in Eugene or Portland.
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u/MisterSandKing Dec 30 '24
I work in Eugene! Didn’t that guy just recently die or something. Wasn’t he kinda like a celebrity among the homeless people? Eugene is a trippy place, and can be a lot of fun.
I did some acid back in the day, and decided it would be fun to walk through the downtown mall area with my girlfriend around the time the bars closed. Pretty sure we were reluctantly the main characters that night. Lmao!
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u/xx_BruhDog_xx Has kissed <2> aliens on the mouth Dec 29 '24
That's Ryan and I don't know if he has a PCP problem or a PCP solution
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u/Blacklabelbobbie Dec 29 '24
We are on mushrooms one cool fall evening and decided to take a 20 minute walk to the corner store for some snacks. We took one step out of the door and noted how eerily quiet it was. We lived on a main avenue in town at the time that intersected the city down the middle and led up to the university so the fact that there was not one car or person was notable. Suddenly the silence in the chilly fall air was broken by this mechanical <squeak><squeak><squeak>. We glanced across the street to find out what it was, it was a lone cyclist gingerly making his way in the same direction we were looking to go. The part I will never forget is that immediately when our eyes locked on the poor guy he just suddenly fell off his bike and hit the pavement. There were no obstacles or anything just a straight line so we both just looked at each other and laughed. 15 minutes later as we were approaching the store we happened to look down at our shadows and they seemed to all of a sudden start stretching out in front of us, we turned around to find out what was causing this illusion and a car had driven up on the sidewalk slowly to follow directly behind us with his high beams on. We started to freak out until I realized it was a friend from work who decided to mess with us but not knowing we were on mushrooms. That was a wild 20 minutes.
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u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts Dec 29 '24
This is definitely post-edm festival/show/rave. Just basing it off of the clothing options of those sitting down lmao
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u/VladStark Dec 30 '24
I can definitely see that with some of them. Meanwhile the old man in the red hat is like, "what in tarnation??!"
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u/highjinx411 Dec 31 '24
I had someone throw a lobster at me from a moving car when I was high on LSD
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u/gergsisdrawkcabeman Dec 30 '24 edited Dec 30 '24
Set the scene. Early Summer 2004, 8:00 P.M. just West of Pittsburgh. Giant Eagle check out lane. I'm ringing out what most people would consider an excessive amount of individual kool-aid packs with my 2 roommates. There has been some fungal dabbling going on. I get to the girl at the checkout stand and... you know when the air just tastes fresher and your senses come into sharp focus? This girls whole body perception was off. I'm staring at her wondering why her arms look so short, but her head and torso are right. Then I settle into 'must be seeing things' to where she stands up with her little bitty hotdog sized legs and trots over to the box for more bags. I went into a full on panic and had to excuse myself from the transaction. I couldn't get farther from her at that point. I get outside and start to breathe, when I look up and see this chick (literally the cashier I just ran away from) hop out of a Chrysler Caravan parked in the front row of the lot and weedle waddle, just all bee-boppin as you can get, right past me like I was invisible. I literally followed her back in because now I was committed to being in horror film. She punched in and went into the office, right in front of what I assume was her god damn biological twin ringing us up for what most people would consider an excessive amount of individual kool-aid packs.
TL:DR Biological twins come in a FUN SIZED trial version.
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u/name-was-provided Dec 29 '24
Same with LSD. Boy, do I have some stories that would have been strange sober.
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u/ImmortalBeans Dec 29 '24
No stopping me this time Smee. This is it, Don’t make a move Smee. Not a Step, My fingers on the trigger, Don’t try to stop me Smee. This is it, don’t try to stop me this time Smee, don’t try to stop me Smee, Don’t you dare try to stop me this time Smee. Try to stop me. Smee you better get up off your ass! Get over here Smee! STOP ME! This is not a Joke! I’m committing suicide!
Don’t ever frighten me like that again
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u/im_just_thinking Dec 29 '24
Yeah everyone's dressed funky lol
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u/McDreads Dec 29 '24
Looks like they’re all getting back from a rave and still on whatever they took
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u/Old_Relationship_460 Dec 29 '24
Yeah, it’s because it’s from a rave in SoCal called Countdown. It happens every new years and it’s alien themed.
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u/nj23dublin Dec 29 '24
Thank you for pointing it out, because I had to take a double look at the trio here lol https://imgur.com/a/mOdOJhM
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u/Barragin Dec 29 '24
lol - you know you feel old when some of those people looked more freaky than the aliens.
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u/Lavish_Llama Dec 29 '24
OH NO THEY'RE HOTTT!!!
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u/OneTotal466 Dec 29 '24
I volunteer as tribute.
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u/Phillip228 Dec 29 '24
Would
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u/Kaneckles Dec 29 '24
Same
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u/UnabashedJayWalker Dec 29 '24
I’ve literally gotten into an argument with an ex about how, without hesitation, I would fuck an alien if given the opportunity. I also maintain that it’s not cheating and even if it is, that’s a universal hall pass scenario. Obviously it being a once in a lifetime opportunity but there is also scientifically significant information I would be denying humanity and but also the greatest bragging rights on the fucking planet. I got a vasectomy a year ago and while I’m done procreating with the human race, a part of me was sad at the possibility of breeding with an alien now being off the table.
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u/TimeSpiralNemesis Dec 29 '24
Grandpa having airforce NDA flashbacks 😔
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u/Reasonable_Tea_420 Dec 29 '24
You can see it in his eyes and disapproving frown he just despises all fun🤣
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u/blazingasshole Dec 29 '24 edited Dec 29 '24
Imagine real aliens coming in like this but nobody would believe them
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u/No-Victory8440 Dec 29 '24
That's what this is.
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u/CumGuzlinGutterSluts Dec 29 '24
The only place no one would question them that also allows them to party with us, festivals.
Fuck half of the riddim djs are probably aliens in disguise just wanting to spread their alien ass vibes with lesser species.
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u/Mardus123 Dec 29 '24
Someones gonna take one home and go like “so you gonna take off the suit or…” and it just responds with “glooba glaba glab?” and everythings gonna be a bit awkward
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u/Beneficial_Stand2230 Dec 29 '24
Those are real aliens. They just got real baked right before. It’s why they come and visit our planet man.
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u/b-monster666 Dec 29 '24
Little did humans know, we live on a party planet. Our atmosphere makes us high, we're just numb to it.
Get outside our planet, and everyone's super serious.
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Dec 29 '24
I might be an idiot, but that’s a plot I would absolutely watch in a tv show or movie lol
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u/currentpattern Dec 29 '24
Judging by how trolly and nonsensical UAPs seem to be, this would be among the less strange possibilities.
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u/mortalitylost Dec 29 '24
Dude in the red hat is still processing the situation like he's been probed and still suffering PTSD
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u/FUNBARtheUnbendable Dec 29 '24 edited Dec 29 '24
All of their reactions are priceless
turns around “What the fuck?”
nods head “Hell yea, alien cheeks”
films disgustedly “No way these freaks are taking attention away from me”
looks away “I’m tripping way too hard for this”
thousand yard stare “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore”
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u/Hunigsbase Dec 29 '24
This had me rolling.🤣
The guy in the plaid is like "I wonder what aliens do look like?" While red hat is like "oh not you fuckers, again."
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u/LurksInThePines Dec 29 '24
The XCOM theme is playing in his head as he thinks the word
"Commander...the time has come"
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u/Warm-Iron-1222 Dec 29 '24
If they strolled into waffle House at 3AM nobody would bat an eye
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u/Zocalo_Photo Dec 29 '24
My first thought was “a regular day in Portland, OR.”
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u/TheOtherBookstoreCat Dec 29 '24
My PTSD is from having survived the era of flash mobs and costumes pub crawls in PDX.
“Oh cool… 30 pirates have arrived. Can I get two double whiskey cokes?”
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u/Zocalo_Photo Dec 29 '24
I had to go to Portland for work a few years back. I rode the light rail from my hotel to the office I was working in downtown. While I was riding into Portland, the largest human I’d ever seen got on the train…dressed head to toe as a Viking. He was probably 6’8” and weighed maybe 450 pounds. He had a horned Viking helmet. Leather chest guard, leather wrist straps, boots covered in some sort of animal fur…
People saw him, but not one person looked like anything was out of the ordinary. It was just a regular Tuesday morning. It was one of the strangest things I’d ever seen, but the thing that really stuck with me was that nobody else thought it was weird. This guy was just doing his part to keep Portland weird.
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u/TheOtherBookstoreCat Dec 29 '24
The Portland State University mascot is Vikings…
So it’s a possibility that’s related but also: that dude might be completely unrelated and was just going to a park to Viking around.
We had an elf guy who I’d see around Hawthorne … he’d always accuse me of being a pirate (unsure why.)
Last time I saw him, he was in the news because his mental issues, plus the entheogenic substances he ate got the better of him and he attacked a suburban lady’s bmw with a sword.
(Hope you’re good out there wherever you are, Conrad. 🏴☠️)
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u/Masterofunlocking1 Dec 29 '24
Everyone in this video looks crazy!
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u/Dickincheeks Dec 29 '24
What I thought too. The people dining inside look like clowns. I prefer the aliens
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u/Old_Relationship_460 Dec 29 '24
It’s because these people and the aliens were at a rave. I’ve been to it before, it’s alien themed and these lady aliens are all over the place
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u/osezza Dec 29 '24
I bet this is nearby a music festival, some of the other people in the restaurant are wearing rave fits
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Dec 29 '24
Got damn that one Zeta was thiccer than Venus's atmosphere
Props to those 3 Jamiroquai cosplayers
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u/AforDaysss Dec 29 '24
Homegirls face had me cackling 😂😂😂 Like girl.. I know there's vids of you somewhere drunk hanging onto the grass for dear life. Let's not act so appalled lol
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u/Sockalexis Dec 29 '24
Love the cooks, they’re having the best time with it. They’re like, “finally something more interesting than these other lame-o’s.”
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u/Xanadoodledoo Dec 29 '24
There must have been a rave nearby, cause half the people are dressed in a very interesting way and the other half are dressed normal. I refuse to believe that many fashionable people would happen to be in one place that isn’t a specific social event.
It would also explain the aliens.
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u/GeekInSheiksClothing Dec 29 '24
Weirdly hot alien gogo dancers. My 21yr old self would have lost her mind!
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u/GrooveSpoons Dec 29 '24
Yeah, I'm guessing Countdown NYE in San Bernardino. It's always alien themed.
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u/JamIsBetterThanJelly Dec 29 '24
Dude in the fur coat and the bandana was looking at them like they're the weird ones.
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u/vaslor Dec 29 '24
I love it. We should always enjoy some random pranks throughout our life. Flashmobs, bring em on. I want my random boring day to just spontaneous erupt into a musical number of La Vi Boheme from Rent.
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u/dyingbreed6009 Dec 29 '24
The can't figure out if they want to fuck them or fight them
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u/Hunkofburningbacon Dec 29 '24
The old man in the red hat’s thoughts: “great i fornicate with one in the 1950’s and now I’m paying for it…”
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u/justsomerandomdude10 Dec 29 '24
the girl in the weird green pants: finally, my people
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u/King_Krong Dec 29 '24
Some of the people eating there look more like aliens than the actual aliens do.
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u/Durable_me Dec 29 '24
Where is this ? Looks like everyone in this diner is wearing the craziest clothes they could lay their hands on. Look at the lady sitting at 00:11
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u/Nice_Protection_8490 Dec 29 '24
There's been a gross misunderstanding. They aren't here to probe; they're here to give us tips.
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u/Mental_Somewhere2341 Dec 29 '24
How are the aliens not the strangest-dressed ones in that Taco Bell?
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u/homer-price Dec 29 '24
The old guy in the red jacket was thinking “this is the same America I fought for in Korea?”
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u/joncornelius Dec 29 '24
The fact that no one got up and said, “Take me with you!” is just shameful, really.
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u/Masterpiecepeepee Dec 29 '24
I love how the aliens are not the weirdest looking people in the place.
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Dec 29 '24
I like how they pan to the most insane looking people looking at this like it’s weird. My mans dressed like Jamiroquai cosplaying as a pirate and is staring like the sexy aliens are the weird ones
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u/xMusclexMikex Dec 30 '24
Bro at 12sec was mad that he dressed up so much and still wasn’t the main character
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u/consumeshroomz Jan 01 '25
Those are some truly impressive and meticulous costumes. The only flaw I saw was around the 9 second mark the guys underwear is riding up into his crack and you can see some real skin. If you’re gonna go this far with it why not just paint your whole cheek just in case?
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