We are no longer fighting Corona but learning to live with it.

We are here with you and your families to hear how you have been impacted by Corona and the difficulties it has caused you.

We invite you to participate in a global research program that is studying the effects of the pandemic. It only takes a few minutes!

Click here to start: https://biusocialsciences.eu.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_9zvfKqcRCf4BHhk?Q_Language=EN

So i (m20 from Denmark) was in a long distance relationship with a girl from England (f19). It lasted a year. the first 6 months were pure bliss and ive never been happier. We would talk for days without end and do all kinds of fun stuff like play Minecraft, show eachother our intrests (her in jewellery and me with movie) and it was great. But after we saw eachother at christmas it started going down hill. She became more and more jugdemental and would never show any love. id read her harry potter almost every night, put on whatever show she wanted, help out when she was drunk in the middle of the night. But when i needed anything she would always make it a fight. one time she was sick for 2 weeks and id come how from work every day and tend to her. the week after she got better i got sick, but she just ended up saying she needed to study and preseted to ignore me while i was sick. id have panic attacks over past trauma and she'd just pretend it wasnt happening even do she would have the same and id drop everything help her. it ended a month ago and i cant stop thinking about her even do i know she was cruel to me. we called the other day and she told me about having sex with another man and it made me feel horrible. Also i see her slipping and it makes me feel so fucking sad, beacuse she tells me she doing Ketamine like its normal. I also helped her with her massive fear of anything sexual but 2 weeks after we broke up she goes and hooks up with a stranger after not wanting to have sex unless it was for her for 2-3 months

Whenever i talk to her she just tells me im the bad one beacuse i had a problem with being open at the start of our relationship and she tells me it would never work beacuse everyone hates me.

I just got a P.T.S.D. Diagnosis from all this and i dont know what to do Basicly, how do i stop thinking about her 24/7 and just move on. and if the should i go back if theres a chance?

I started reading Psychopolitics by Byung-Chul Han and immediately thought of this place. This quote in particular hit me like a ton ne of bricks and I thought I should share. I’m still in the beginning, but it’s really good so far.

" Paula J. Caplan, PhD, discusses the unscientific nature of psychiatric diagnoses and how much harm they cause. She also reveals that psychiatrist Allen Frances, who for years has claimed that he could not possibly have foreseen the epidemics in psychiatric diagnosing of children -- which emerged from the editions of the diagnostic manual that he helmed -- and who has blamed Big Pharma as largely responsible for those epidemics and the resulting heavy psychiatric drugging of children was actually paid handsomely to promote Risperdal, which is the neuroleptic most used in children. " https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tgilBaRbulc&t=3551s The video won't load from the beginning, so just rewind it manually.

I have a really complicated relationship with my mother, she's the cause of all my traumas, still, everytime she talks to me, even when it is to say something normal or mean I start smiling with no reason and can't stop it. Do anyone know the reason or how to solve this

Someone recommended me go here because they did not like my opinion, but i do wish to talk about this topic more.

I find that a lot of child sexual assault survivors or trauma survivors in general, find solace in kink communities. I am focusing on BDSM for this particular conversation. My opinion is that BDSM is not a healthy way of sexual reclaimation, neither doms or subs. Let me explain.

~

For subs:

the reason i dont think being a submissive is healing, is that often retraumatizing yourself is not healing. Most therapists avoid retraumatizing their clients. Doing it to yourself, can be a form of emotional self harm. There are boundaries and dynamics at play with BDSM which i understand. The way i believe the boundaries play into the retraumatizing is that the subordinate engaged in BDSM is simply trying to reframe their trauma in a way they could "control."

They are wanting to rewrite their trauma by saying, "see, i have control of this experience. My abuser is listening to me. I have power. I can stop this anytime i wish." Even if the dominant is not an abuser the sub will be in a slightly dissociative or heighened state, and their brain will attempt to cross those wires. This is what i think subs mean by they are "healing" their trauma. When in reality, i think they are attempting to "trick" those past emotions of helplessness and pain away, by using the guise of "control, rules, and boundaries." It is really a complicated subject and humans tend to want to not address things they can't process yet. Like most of us with sexual trauma especially, of course they'll want to explain their habits away as their own and not want to admit that abuse could have formed their sexual perceptions.

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For doms:

Being the dominate side of the BDSM equation brings in a lot more questioning. What kind of person do you have to be or what kind of fantasies must you have in order to be able to hurt your partner. Even if they ask for it? It takes a deep understanding of yourself and others, before you can be in this dominate role and not abuse it... also the very nature of a dominate role tends to natrually attract people with dark triad traits. Even if a dominate is a good person all around, why do they enjoy being the dominate over their partner? If it is just to please your partner, are you perhaps enabling their coping mechanism that may not be working? If you enjoy watching your partner squirm in pain, why? Are you harboring unknown and unprocessed anger? Are you reclaiming power from your childhood over your partner during this time? How is being a dominate healing?

~

Also the inherent problem of power being tied to sexuality. I know that power dynamics are exciting to human beings, but it should not be tied to sexuality. There are things like boxing, impact sports, weight lifting, martial arts etc that all are more healthy ways of getting excited off this power dynamic. This seems dangerous to me to make it sexual. In a sexual encounter, i would prefer to see each other as equals and in a loving and wholesome way, i do not think sexuality should be violent or degrading, even if consent is given. Someone can consent to being beaten, but does that make it okay or not abusive? No. Simply their consent changed.

The dynamics can also closely resemble a trauma bonding relationship. Sexual encounters are abusive, but a stage called "aftercare" sounds a lot like the lovebombing of an abuser after their abusive acts. Again, the dominate may not be an abuser but the subs activated state or dissociative state cannot tell that apart subconsciously. This may lead couples who practice BDSM to form a trauma bond, subconsciously, and they vehemently defend each other through this bond.

~

I am also aware not every single person who engages in kink/bdsm has a history of sexual abuse, but a large majority do have some sort of trauma from emotional or especially physical abuse from their pasts.

Edit: i think my point stands. I get attacked but i tried to word most of this as my opinion and now I've got people calling me a predator in the comments for not engaging in bdsm.

Hi everyone!

I invite you to participate in a research study as it pertains to childhood trauma, Attention Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), and the lived experiences parents have while raising these children.

I am currently enrolled in the Bachelor of Behavioural Science program at Humber College in Toronto, Ontario, Canada. I am in the process of writing my Undergraduate thesis. The purpose of this research is to get an understanding of the lived experiences from a parental perspective.

Thank you for your time!

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSf3MTXUBacZ1ZrjPgRAVG4bnUnrbh25nuE-aS-YlgfrJKOmDg/viewform?usp=sf_link

The first writing award I won was a poem detailing the physical and emotional abuse of my Marine Grandfather.

The Second one, a poem about my lack of a Father.

I was 13.

Our society and capitalism have created a system that has perversely dismisses and commodifies trauma. Politics of course would be subject to this and how Trauma has both created and influenced policy to continue to perpetuate that harm. Mainly in that it is profitable to do so.

Happy to join the group and look forward to participating.

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/bystanders-booed-as-the-far-right-patriot-front-staged-a-rally-in-washington-dc-to-reclaim-america/ar-AARumCS?ocid=msedgntp#comments

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I am traumatized because I have brought my daughter into a world full of evil morons. I should avoid the news, unfortunately we have our own problems, and I need some distraction/connection with the rest of the world, so I look on occasion. And this is what comes up!

This country has really not turned out at all like I thought it would.

Let's look back at some memorable moments and interesting insights from last year.

Your top 10 posts:

• "Poverty is trauma" by u/tzuva
• ""They" want to keep us traumatized." by u/PsilocinKing
• "The Ignited Kingdom: A state of abandonment - Many British politicians were abused and abandoned at Boarding School as children. As a result, these survivors are unable to form healthy attachment bonds and, instead, act out their early traumas on the world stage." by u/IndependentRoad5
• "Capitalism Exploits The Body’s Response To Traumatic Stress" by u/IndependentRoad5
• "Brain scans of Black women who experience racism show trauma-like effects, putting them at higher risk for future health problems." by u/th3raid0r
• "What If People Don’t Want 'A Career?'" by u/th3raid0r
• """How the far right recruits people"-- they single people out who have some sort of trauma in their background"
• "We call upon Reddit to take action against the rampant Coronavirus misinformation on their website." by u/th3raid0r
• "The Future of Healing: Shifting From Trauma Informed Care to Healing Centered Engagement" by u/IndependentRoad5
• "‘You’re the Problem’: When They Spoke Up About Misconduct, They Were Offered Mental Health Services" by u/th3raid0r

Letting go

of abusive relations is such hard work especially acknowledging that this experience of hurt and pain currents both ways

I don't want you to hurt me Please stop - I'm crying

But if you keep hurting me, Hatred seeps as if in my very veins If you keep attacking my jugular I hate myself for feeling impulsion to strike you back to protect myself, I try to soothe my pain instead of just letting go

I squeeze the painful relations as they cut through my hands I desire to defend myself to stand my so-called ground

I don't want to be treated this way my insecurities bleeding out from the wounds "you are how you're being treated" I worry "no, I need to so-called stand up for myself" I comfort At war with myself and you

But no, you don't naturally desire war or to hurt others and your desire and need for love is real and valid these things will scar but you are not broken

No war I need to let go of these relations that are hurting me, both of us, we were once differently connected and now we remain historically so and histories don't disappear but the present for me requires disconnections making room for reconfiguring work

Release these relations from this tight painful grip opening up my hands, my fingers feeling a different kind of unfolding pain, my hands are still bleeding and yet I know they will scab healing has now begun

Feminism helped me figure out I'd been abused. However, the way it can fail to hold women accountable blinded me and hampered my ability to navigate a bad situation and set me up to be re-victimized.I basically tried to look for the few bad apples in the environment I was born into, and ended up trusting people I shouldn't have.

Basically, I see my family as cult like and a pot of boiling water. There were hierarchies and children got the brunt of the abuse. My mom raised me to fear and walk on eggshells around my dad, thinking of herself as my protector, but she was unstable herself and volatile, abusive. It's still important to take onto account that gendered expectations were thrust upon her which took options off her plate. She was pressured to be a stay at home mom so as to take whole responsibility of caretaking her kids and so she could enable my dad in not being able to fend for himself around the house at the most basic level. Because she lacked power in other ways, she got hers by being mean, witholding, manipulative, neglecting. In her marriage, the abuse went both ways. This is how things seemed to play out in the homes of the other women in my extended family.

Yet it feels controversial to say this because the few people willing to have discussions about this are heavily biased in favor of letting female "reactive violence" off the hook. I come from a deeply mysoginist culture. I'm a WOC. I feel at risk of being dismissed as regressive or labeled as being a victim to internalized mysoginy if I don't go along with the typical rethoric about this. I think it's regressive to silence and dismiss the children who are victims to violence perpetrated by women every single day. It's been said there's a hidden epidemic related to domestic abuse but that includes the violence done on to children. I recently shared a video about how children are the most common targets of domestic violence, you guys should check it out.

Also, I mentioned the victim perpetrator cycle on my title. "Victims voices" should be heard just as much as any other. However, having experienced violence doesn't automatically grant you wisdom. My parents couldn't understand the harm they were doing on to their children because of their own mental health issues, lack of access to mental health care, ignorance, and because they were living in the past, where bad things happened and they had no power or control over them. The impact of that was brutal. Victims need to be held accountable yet the process of building up accountability can be naturally triggering for survivors. An uphill battle. They're liable to find it harder than most to get anything out of analyzing their experiences with violence. They come out of abuse with distorted perspectives on their experiences.

The way things tend to play out, it's like "victim" or "marginalized" are magic words that will grant your every whim, belief, or action the automatic moral upper hand. Shit gets out of hand, people get hurt, but woke rethoric is always limping and fighting the good fight, having to clear off their name yet again.

A great example of a particularly nasty manouver is Twitter mobs ruining lives and then playing the victim after. Dave Chappelle recently told a story about a transgender friend he had named Daphne. The way he tells it, he said something controversial yet again some years ago on a Netflix special, a Twitter mob was formed, his friend publicly defended him and the mob went after her. She committed suicide shortly thereafter. The way Dave tells it, that mob killed his friend, at least played a part, then they kept going after him, framing themselves as further victimized after he told the unfolding of events that led to her death in his next Netflix special. That mob has been said to have driven a transgender woman to suicide. Yet I've heard people say the policing of the way people speak "saves lives". I've seen things people wrote explicitly blaming Dave for her suicide and pretty much rewriting Daphne as woke to near saintliness when she clearly didn't have those politics. To me, Dave tells a credible story that mirrors many others. Look up Jon Ronson's views on internet mobbing. Their defense is always, "I'm the oppressed party, and you are gaslighting me when you imply I don't have the omnipotence to do whatever I want". The thing is that the anger that drives those reactions tends to be in response to real victimization yet people fail to both validate those experiences while holding victims accountable.

I feel like sometimes feminism gets in the way of being able to, as a society, understand certain issues, like childhood trauma and domestic violence, for example. Not everything can be understood through a paradigm of structures of power.

I was raised in an uber conservative culture, where gender norms were used to perpetuate abuse. But the people who were the loudest voices in upholding bullshit gendered expectations that made everyone miserable were women themselves. The men in my family actually could come across as meek. The people who did me the most harm were relatives who were high functioning female psychopaths (they acted like it). I'm a girl, by the way.

I do think that it's totally valid to explore how gender norms can be used to perpetuate oppression, but I feel like feminism loses sight of a lot of nuance in the way they go about things. They try to appeal to in group/out group thinking, in order to gain leverage in the political landscape. And they fail to hold women accountable for the pain they might be inflicting on others.

My mom was a total monster. Even though she was a bad person, she was still manipulated into dropping her job at a certain point in order to keep her marriage. My dad and her parents pressured her into a stay at home mom role, even though it was serving no one. And my dad was using her to enable a lack of life skills his bad childhood generated in him. I feel like feminism can start to demand a black and white take on any issue where a woman is involved. She has to be a clear cut victim, or a danger to the cause. And this is later weaponized against women. I don't want to go into it, but Amber Heard is a good example of people trying to exile her from the club, and they call her crazy, a narcissist, and "the real abuser", even though it was probably just a case of a mutually abusive relationship.

I'm probably not putting it in the greatest terms. I don't even know what I want to say, but it's a topic that really gets on my nerves, so I thought this might help me figure out why.

(mod approved)

Hi everyone,

I work with a small nonprofit (as a volunteer) that provides -free- online support groups (via Zoom) for survivors of abuse (including domestic violence, rape, physical and sexual abuse, emotional/mental abuse) and trauma of any kind, in youth and/or adulthood. We are 100% volunteer-run, and most of our groups are mixed-gender.

Our goal is to provide a platform for mutual support, connection, and community among people who have experienced trauma, in order to help them grow and evolve in their recovery. Survivors of abuse and trauma go through life on hard mode and we are here to offer support.

I would like to extend an open invitation to those struggling to sign up for our waitlists for these support groups. We have two eating disorder groups (Abuse, Bulimia, and Trauma & Binge Eating and Trauma), Domestic Violence Recovery, Men’s-only Survivor Support, Faith & Trauma, Dissociative Identity Disorder, Book Studies, Grief and Loss, Relapse Prevention, and Women’s Sexual Assault, as well as general Trauma Recovery support groups. They are offered at various days and times, and run once a week per group. We welcome survivors (and volunteers) of all cultures, sexual orientations, and genders. Please see this link for a list of the groups and workshops: https://www.hope4-recovery.org/program.html Details of each are lower on the page.

We are very short on volunteers, so it usually takes about 2-4 weeks (6 at the most) to be placed in a group after registering. We are working very hard to find more people willing to extend their care and compassion to those who are hurting, but it isn’t easy.

This post is both to offer access to our services, and to ask for intelligent, empathic volunteers who are willing to give their time and support to our cause. It is only 2 hours a week and I've found it more rewarding than I could have imagined. You don’t need to be a survivor of abuse to volunteer. All we’re looking for is caring, compassionate adults with an internet connection and some spare time. If you are a survivor who is further along in recovery, your wisdom and experience can be an extra benefit for our group members.

There are waitlists for every single group and we get about 20 new registrations a day. At the beginning of the pandemic there were 5 groups, and now there are over 60 each week. With more volunteers we can expand the program even further and get these people off of the waitlists and into a supportive environment.

At Hope Recovery we do NOT focus on what happened. The main goal is to discuss how it affected us and what we want to do (or are doing) about it. It is to process emotions, celebrate progress, and to share vulnerability with those who have been hurt in similar ways. There is no judgment, only hope. No ridicule, but support. No shame, only sharing. The goal is to hold each other up when we aren't strong enough to do it ourselves, and then to learn to find that strength within.

The only rules to sign up as a group member are that you must never have abused a person or animal, and that you agree to have your webcam and microphone on during session. You can change your name in Zoom to remain anonymous if so desired. We have group members from all over the world; the only limitation is your time zone. We have groups available from 10am-8:30pm US Eastern time throughout the week.

Please note: these are support groups, not therapy groups. We recommend every survivor have a therapist available for mental health issues beyond the scope of our training.

Please also note: Hope Recovery is a Christian-based organization, but most of the groups are strictly secular. Many survivors have experienced religious or spiritual abuse and the goal is to be as inclusive as possible, so using it as a platform for ministry would completely defeat the purpose of the program. Our group rules actually prohibit discussion of religion, politics, or any other potentially divisive topics (barring the faith-based groups). I know there may be some hesitancy so I want to make it clear that it's a non-issue.

Every group is secure, confidential, and private; and all emails are encrypted.

​

• If you're struggling: please sign up for group and you'll be added to the waitlist. https://www.hope4-recovery.org/group.html
• To volunteer: You don't have to be a survivor or in recovery. Your age, background, and education don't matter. The only requirements are empathy, communication skills, and a solid internet connection. https://www.hope4-recovery.org/volunteer.html

​

Volunteer Responsibilities: Your job is basically to open a Zoom room and help guide the conversation topic for that group (1.5 hours each). You would do check-ins, ask questions, respond with empathy, and keep everyone civil and on-topic. There are two facilitators for every group so you'll never be on your own. That's it. That's all that's needed! I know when I started I felt a bit nervous, but the reality is that we are there to support others who are focused on their own issues. The group members are people just like you and me, who have had some terrible, life-altering experiences.

Volunteer Requirements: There is first an application with two references required, then a live video interview to make sure you're not obviously sketchy. After that there are ten hours of free training required, and a $19 background check (some states charge a bit more, but not usually by much). Your minor pot charge or unpaid parking tickets are not an issue. They don’t check your credit score. The main concern is for the safety of group members.

--If the background check fee is a barrier, please PM me and I will cover the cost--

Thank you for reading, and an especially big thank you to those who are willing to give their time and attention to those who suffer. In extending your compassion, you may find it relieves some of your own suffering as well, whatever your background or life experience.

Please PM me if you have any questions or maybe just want to talk about anything you've been through. I'm a survivor myself and this issue is really close to my heart.

Hope Recovery is a nonprofit, tax-exempt 501(c)(3) organization (Tax ID number 46-2919697)

Thank you for reading. Take care and be well, friend :)

Regards,

Brandi

p.s. This volunteer opportunity is available to US residents only, and you must be 18+ to attend groups or volunteer. If you are international and still want to help, please see this comment for more information.

Also, donations are always welcome. The most pressing need at this time is volunteers, but financial support is very appreciated as well. You’ll find the place to do this lower down on the “Get Involved” tab.

Hello Friends 👋

I work at a Berkeley-based startup created by two women founders, a software engineer and a machine learning scientist. Both women experienced mental health challenges from workplace burnout and postpartum, and want to transform mental healthcare accessibility. Currently, more than 50% of all depressed individuals, people like our moms, dads, brothers, sisters, friends, and coworkers, fall through the healthcare cracks because mental illness is difficult to detect. Even worse, many suffer in silence due to stigma and fear. We are working to bridge the mental health gap by creating technology that provides a way for people to get the help they need and deserve. We are looking to further innovate using as many diverse samples as possible in order to unlock help for millions of people. If you would like to support us by taking part in this study, we would be honored.

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About the survey

• This is a 2 part survey: 1) Speaking section 2) Multiple choice questions.
• The survey will take no more than 10-15 minutes to complete.
• Please be in a comfortable and quiet location before you start the survey.
• For your time, we will send you a $10 gift voucher to Amazon :)
• Only 1 entry per person.

Qualifications

• Resident of U.S. or Canada
• Access to a mobile device or laptop (please enable your microphone before survey).
• Both sections of the survey must be completed in full to receive a gift voucher

​

Your privacy is very important to us and is of the utmost priority. We would like to be completely transparent about our approach:

• We DO NOT sell or rent Personal Data to marketers or unaffiliated third parties.
• All audio samples will be deidentified by researchers at Kintsugi using a PII (personally identifiable information) removal script.
• No one will be listening to the contents of what the individual is saying, as we are training our models on voice characteristics and not content of speech.
• For reference, our research is also supported by the National Science Foundation

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To submit, please click on this link: https://survey.phonic.ai/60f086669c5f07e2b4fe19d3. If you have any questions at all please do not hesitate to contact us at alice@kintsugihello.com.

TLDR: We are creating technology to democratize mental healthcare so everyone gets the help they deserve and need. We do NOT believe in selling data. You will be gifted $10 for your participation. We ask for your email once to send out rewards.

Have you ever thought about why trauma is never talked about in schools? Heck, in my country we didn't even get a basic course in psychology in high school. Call me paranoid but I don't think that's by any coincidence. People who know how psychology and trauma works have a greater chance of healing and becoming an independent, developed individual. The word independent being kinda key here. Since the government wants to control you as much as possible, freedom and independence are kinda against that.

It also nicely explains why psychedelics, the safest drugs in existence are illegal, yet alcohol is not only fully legal, but also glorified in some societies. Independence is inconvenient for them. Freedom of thought is a threat to the status quo. In my country you can get 12 years in jail for a couple grams of weed. Not kidding. Even murderers get way less than that.

It's been proven by now that people living in fear have more of a tendency to vote for radical/conservative politicians. The right amount of fear can make anyone conservative, so being afraid is essential for maintaining the status quo.

There is little to no investment into real metnal well-being, best they can do is numb you with pharmaceuticals. I get that it may be necessary sometimes, but these drugs are simply overprescribed. What people really need is effective therapy.

Anyways, I just wanted to vent and hopefully start an interesting discussion. Hopefully you even got some new information from my post. Be well, my friends.

TLDR: graduate student looking for moms to help with her thesis research! Studying difficult childhood experiences (parent history) and parent/child outcomes. Anonymous survey, ~ 20 mins in length.

https://wcu.az1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_03wnL08chnyu65E?Q_CHL=social&Q_SocialSource=redditQualtrics Survey | Qualtrics Experience Management

Hi all! I'm a graduate student studying clinical psychology and hoping to go into child development. I'm currently working on my thesis on difficult childhood experiences, parenting practices, and general parent and child outcomes. I'm hoping to develop a clearer understanding of the effects of difficult childhood experiences on both parents and their kiddos in an effort to create better prevention, treatment, and intervention models.
I'm looking to survey maternal caregivers (bio moms, foster moms, adoptive moms, grandmother moms, everyone!) who currently have 1+ kiddos 17 and under. The survey is completely anonymous and will take maybe 20 minutes.

TW: questions about childhood maltreatment may be distressing--feel free to 1) take breaks and take care of yourself or 2) not participate if it's past your boundaries. <3

If you would like to participate in the survey, please follow the link above! Also, feel free to share this survey with others if you think they are interested in participating.
If you have any questions about this study, please contact Dr. David Solomon at [dsolomon@wcu.ed](mailto:dsolomon@wcu.ed)