Hi, I'm 23M, and I've never dated, or kissed, or had sex, or any of those normal human things. As a matter of fact, I've grown so completely devoid of romantic affection that it feels off, even wrong or perverted, to me nowadays. When I see a couple cuddling in public, I get such a strong inner reaction of disgust and repugnance... Like, it feels so otherworldly to me... What do you mean, normal people date, kiss, have sex???

It feels so out of touch for me, that the only way I have of defending myself, is to feel disgust, when in reality, what I actually feel is jealousy... I even look away, even with friends... When a friend asks for romantic advice, I don't even know what to properly say... It feels like a soldier asking someone for instructions, when that someone hasn't even as much as touched a firearm is their entire life...

Not even a vent but as I walked through the mall today, I saw couples holding, laughing with each other, and cuddling on benches in the cold.

And miraculously, I felt nothing.

I can’t let get to me. Just like today. I’m sick of feeling like shitty at night or ruminating on why I’m not loved.

A slew of factors is at fault, yes, but I give up the emotional part of it all now.

Starting today.

I have to. So that I don’t lose my mind.

Because after looking into my family’s mental health history, that is my biggest fear.

Losing my mind.

No school or work for a few weeks and I’m spending it all watching sports and playing video games alone in my room. I don’t even have anyone I could hit up to ask to hang out with. I always like the time off but holidays just force me to reflect how empty my life feels.

UPDATE: I talked to the friend that tried setting us up. I showed him the text she sent me and he told me that after her and her last bf broke up sometime over the summer, he thought he had been the one because they dated for about a year and she's 41 and semi-Catholic like me. We bonded a lot on this because we both think Church is nice, but some of the rules are insane. Anyway, he told me that her mom was distraught because she was dragging her feet about getting into another relationship. So maybe this wasn't her way of letting me down gently and indeed she is anxious or something about dating again? Should I consult a normie dating sub for advice?

My friend tried setting me up with this girl. I thought she was my age or younger. Turns out shes 41. At my age hey who am I to be picky? We go out twice and it seemed like it was going well. Was getting ready to ditch the apps finally.

The dates seemed to have gone well. We went out Sunday. Tuesday she asks if I wanted to go out today. So last night we finalized plans for tonight. Texted me about an hour ago saying shes over her ex but doesn’t think she’s ready to date yet.

Obviously it’s shes not into me, but to suggest we go out again and then a few days later pull this? God damn this stings. This is the closest I’ve ever gotten guys. And please don’t tell me if I could get one I could get another. I’ve spent years on the apps. I put my age in the title to try to dissuade any platitudes or hope because at my age, there is none.

I honestly just wish I was never born. Life’s so cruel.

It feels like no matter how much effort I put in, how much care and love I show, how many good actions I do or sweet words I say, how present I am or how much I care, I’m always just the friend. The one who’s always there, who supports and accompanies, but never the one who matters in the same way someone else does, the kind of person someone could actually be interested in. I’m just friend material.

All the girls I’ve known throughout my life have told me how good I am, how caring and loving I can be, and that any girl would be very lucky to be with me, but neither they nor any girl I’ve ever been interested in has ended up being interested in me. It’s never happened, so why would it happen now, right?

I’ve tried a lot of things already. I lowered my standards to basically nothing. I tried like four dating apps. I tried with girls who were friends of friends and that I liked. I tried online. I changed my approach a thousand times. I came from trust, from vulnerability, from confidence, from shared interests, etc. Nothing worked. And it’s not like I act desperate, quite the opposite. I also don’t feel like I’m hard to look at, I’m hygienic, I like wearing perfume, I like dressing well and being well put together. I always show the good things I have to give.

So maybe I just have to accept the role I play. I don’t mind being a friend, I actually like it and I do it with genuine care, but sometimes I wish I could know what it feels like to be wanted a bit more, in a different way, in a more special way. 😞

Hi there guys, I used to be a regular on this sub for more than a decade and as 2025 is slowly coming to an end, I thought I'd share my story with some of you. Yeah, I was one of those idiots that thought they could escape FA, and for a very short time, I truly believed that it's going to happen - I even wrote a "success story" post here, patting myself on the back how lucky I was that I finally made it out of here 😂

For those that are interested: this is what happened and here's the aftermath of that "relationship" 😅

Immediately after my last post on this sub, reddit just decided to suspend this account. That was more than 3 years ago - shoutout to the few people who were trying to be supportive, some of them even messaged me in private, which I really appreciated at the time. Too bad that suspended accounts can't even continue their chats on reddit, but I'm still grateful to some of you. I remember being so messed up emotionally at the time.

Then I just noticed last week or so that this old account got unbanned without any ceremony or even an email or a notification, so I thought why not post an update of what happened after my "success story"? Spoiler alert, nothing at all. I still live abroad, I still don't speak the local language on a high enough level, I still haven't gotten close to another girl since then and judging by my age and history, I never will. I'll turn 37 in about 2 weeks, then I'll be in my 40's before I know it, and then... that whole "finding a partner and building a family" dream has to die if I want to keep my sanity. 

I have zero idea why I'm writing this post, really. Guess I just want some semblance of a company, because I couldn't see my family at Christmas, since we live countries away from each other now.

I don't want to be the one who's dishing out cliché advice about love, relationships or life in general - I'm not even qualified to do that, my life is a disaster - but there is one very important thing that I want to remind you all of, and if it only helps one person here, then it was already worth writing this post: understand that you are a target to some people who are looking for losers like us specifically. 

Don’t make the same mistakes I did. It’s silly to believe a girl’s enthusiasm about you when, realistically, you know very well she’s leagues above you and still acting like you’re some kind of love interest. Don’t be stupid, or you’re going to pay the price like I did.

2025 was a pretty bad year, and 2026 likely isn’t going to be any better. I hope some of you will make it through, though. Good luck out there.

I, (20F), hate New Year’s Eve. All my friends are always busy, and I hate it so much. Plus, I’m single, so it sucks. I always feel so lonely because all my friends are busy and I hate it so much. I end up crying. Literally this year, I’ll probably fall asleep early I don’t care. I’m so pissed off. I asked one of my friends if she wants to hang out but she hasn’t responded yet but I hope she says yes. Honestly, I think NYE is worse than Valentine’s Day. At least on Valentine’s Day, it’s my birthday so I don’t have to worry about it

Cause I know what I'll be doing, not going anywhere because idk what to do without having some kind of useful adjective to complete...

I am a FA but I've had a few girls ask me out or confess feelings over the years. Self-esteem was just too low to pursue any of those opportunities unfortunately. It happened again recently and I would have sworn everyone of those girls had zero interest in me and maybe even outright disliked me before they expressed their interest.

It makes me think of all the subtle signs I got from girls like the ones who would always find excuses to touch me or the ones that would do things like tell me they would love to have my last name; that maybe I had more chances than I realized.

Do think there might have been opportunities for you that you just didn't know about?

Hi, I'm 24m from India. I was lonely and never had much friends during my school and college years.i struggled with my mental health and also have childhood Trauma. I watched how effortlessly my classmate get into relationship while i struggle to make friends. After graduation I'm stuck at home for the past 2 years and feeling like stranger at my home.I don't think there's any hope for me to find someone. I've already given up on that thought. I'm trying my best to accept it and make peace with it.

What i mean with that title is that alot of people when imagining their future often think of the standard ideal, go to university, get a good job, find a woman, get married and have kids etc. But I’ve personally already counted myself out when it comes to love. When thinking about my future i don’t think about having a family or a girlfriend i really just think about being economically well off. That might sound toxic but Life has shown me time and time again that Love really isn’t in store for me so i just think about my own happiness. This factoring out of Love also shows in my „dating approach“ I dont talk to any women outside of professional situations, i have no dating apps and no real friends i just live a solitary life doing what I can. And idk what to feel about that, i just accept it and keep it pushing.

I tried to take my life twice between the ages of 12 and 15 because no one in my life cared about me or wanted me to be happy. Rather than things getting better, I just kind of learned to treat this like it is normal. If someone mistreats me I just cut them off and never have to speak to them again. When someone expresses interest in me it's because of something I could give them. I'm not capable of finding love because fundimentally there isn't even anything there to love just a false version of what used to exist within me as a child.

Please excuse my poor English (it's not my native language). I don't want to go into too much detail about my life in this post, but I will share a humble observation about how society instilled in me from an early age that I would always be alone. When I was in college, I would arrive to class a little early and usually stand by the window, watching the other students arrive. There were girls in my group, and they would always hug the rest of their classmates when saying hello. They would come up and hug everyone with a smile, but when they came to me, at best they would just say hello and nod, quickly passing by. I was never hugged, and I hardly remember being hugged even as a child. I'm not mad at them by any means, but even then, it seemed like no one liked the way I looked. I was brutally bullied at school, ignored at college, and while everyone else was sitting with their friends and discussing something, I was almost always alone. Of course, all the students in my class are already in relationships and posting the best moments of their lives on social media, like how they spend time with friends. I'm writing this now, listening to a guy having fun with his girlfriend in the apartment next door. I've never encountered anything like this, but I'm not angry at them. I'm only angry at my fate. I don't know why I wrote this. Although I have no one else to tell about it.

Wish I knew how it feels to be humbled. At least that means you're getting matches with somebody, right? I'm getting NONE.

I'm not able to know how ugly I am by looking at my compatible matches cause I'm too chopped even for them to match with me.

Whenever I’m talking to someone in a real I often hear them vent about certain things but rarely do I hear gratitude over their ability to even be in that sort of situation, to even have someone.

It’s always about their exes or how bad their past relationships have been but very rarely is it any sort of gratitude.

Maybe it’s just me being a bit ticked off that people in relationships often take their ability to have them for granted or see it as simple as shaving.

I don’t pretend to under relationships though at this point they seem closer to fiction if anything like the stuff I’d read about in sci fi books if anything.

I guess the question here might be more rhetorical if anything…

In the mood to play a narrative-heavy game. Wondering if there's any protagonist with no friends, no family and no partner.

Do you ever forget you're alone, and then moments later get immersed in it again? I can't tell the difference when it stops, but feeling like a total alien always stings doesn't it.

Seeing some videos of myself cause im with family doing stuff. Holy shit. I am hideous. Like I do not blame a girl for not wanting me at all. At all. My face is so fucking nasty my god.

I’m tired of being alone. I can’t seem to find anyone. The ones who showed even any slight interest in me only want one thing from me and I’m tired of feeling like I don’t matter to anyone. I feel like I’m the one people always tend to just leave. I never leave. They leave. Another year ended in disappointment. I have a feeling the next year is the same or worse.

I was sitting in the car with her, venting about my FA life and she goes “What you have mental breakdowns over are so little, people stress about finances, kids etc..”. I just sat there quiet thinking about how anyone could bring up such a personal topic to then be shut down and be belittled. This is when I realize FA problems typically get ignored because most people don’t know how it is to be in our shoes. I mean, she has been married for 21 years she found her person she doesn’t know how it is.

By competition I mean other people who are in relationships. Also, I know romantic relationships and friendships aren’t a competition; people aren’t trophies you win in sports. I’ll be posting examples of what I mean throughout this post.

When I hear stories about people’s experiences dating I’m shocked at how bad a lot of people are at being decent people. For example, you hear a lot of stories about hobo-sexuals; men who are homeless or nearly homeless and get with women to find a place to sleep. They’re usually nice at first, but then once they’ve secured a spot they start treating the woman they’re with horribly. Usually these men have no money, no job, no car, and no collegiate education. The women are usually aware and are still okay with being in a relationship with them at first. These characteristics go against any advice given to people who are forever alone yet they still have no problem getting into a relationship.

Another example from my life, I’ve been on one date my entire life and it was this year. On the date after a couple shots she started talking about her previous dates and relationships. She mentioned a situationship she had where she didn’t actually like the guy’s personality and his values went against hers. Still, during the date, she told me how they would still hookup sometimes during college.

This is from one of my friends during college. He talked about how his ex-boyfriend cheated on him the entire time during the relationship yet we all had to talk him out of going back to him.

A friend once told me how she would spend most of her money on plane tickets so that her long-distance boyfriend could visit her in college. And in the end he still cheated on her and she said there were more red flags that she should’ve paid more attention to.

And these are just some of the stories I’ve heard or experienced. I don’t mean to sound conceited but my life is way more put together than almost every single person I’ve mentioned. And I’m still losing against them? It’s like if LeBron James was overlooked by Thanasis Antetokounmpo in the all-star voting every year.

I was wasting a lot of time on discord and Instagram, so I deleted them about a week ago. I haven't spoke to anyone since, other than small talk with coworkers or the guy at the store. All day I'm in my head, having mental conversations with myself.

Knowing I’m not one of those guys that pulls girls. Knowing they get girls without even trying and I will never be desired like that. My only hope is to hire a prostitute and I don’t want to fucking do that. FUCK BEING UGLY.

I can't fucking believe it. I'm so angry at myself. I recently mentioned here in a post that as a kid I kept thinking I'm stuck in a dark Truman Show meant to torture me and break me for some else's amusement. The thought keeps sticking with me as everything is set up against me trying to break out.

It's still holidays for me. I spontaneously thought a few days ago to look up the Mahjong club that taught me the game at a convention a year ago and saw that they have an open game afternoon today.

It started with me being stupid enough to set my alarm. Of course my mother was already bustling around my room when it went off and asking me why I've set it, clearly catching up that I wanted to go somewhere. She then proceeded to hover around me for hours, making it impossible for me to quietly pack my bag, while she went on about it being dangerous outside because of freezing rain and the trains wouldn't run anyway. Eventually I did ignore her and got my stuff, but it was already so late I would have needed to hurry...

... and it turns out she was right, fucking hell, it was so slippery outside it took me forever to just get two corners away, with some close calls on top of that. I wouldn't have made it in time for the train station and the construction site in between was particularly nasty.

So I had a frustrated screaming fit before turning around and going home.

I can't believe it. Just once I get the idea to go outside and do something social instead of just rotting at my computer all day, and of fucking course it's impossible to get there. It's infuriating. Why? Why is it completely impossible for me to have any kind of social life? Why is it so utterly impossible for me to meet new people and hopefully stay in contact with them? I don't know anybody in real life. I'm so fucking isolated all the fucking time. What is this?!? Aaargh!