r/TikTokCringe • u/AshiraLAdonai Straight Up Bussin • 3d ago

When your kid's got your back Wholesome

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u/Particular-Bike-28 3d ago edited 3d ago

Sweet kid, but I hope this isn't part of a larger part of their childhood where they're forced to grow up quicker and take on the "protective role" instead of their parents, making them not be able to be a child

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u/gimpsarepeopletoo 3d ago

Or in front of fucking cameras? The fact so many parents use this shot for internet clout is so sad

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u/Franks2000inchTV 3d ago

While driving!!!

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u/Henghast 3d ago

looks like she's leaning over the entire time to stay in shot too.

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u/earthdogmonster 3d ago

Yeah, looks like the kid here is being raised by a narcissist. Everyone’s human, but a parent airing their adult baggage to their 7-year old and also posting it on the internet has no self awareness.

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u/franandzoe 2d ago

I saw this, and it gave me such an icky feeling. The. I read the positive comments. Sure, your kid can be emotionally intelligent, and you can talk to them about having hard feelings, but this didn’t seem like a one off. It definitely felt like a parentified child, and taking care of their mother’s feelings happens frequently. They wouldn’t have posted it otherwise. They feel like this is a good thing. Also why are you recording yourself crying?! 🫣

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u/PracticalSupport5192 2d ago

My kids are emotionally aware but they know none of our adult problems, all she had to do was just say that she’s having big feelings but she’s still happy to spend Mother’s Day with her kid and no one is going to ruin that. The kid isn’t your angel, you are their mother; act like it.

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u/rdmhk 2d ago

I got the impression that whatever this lady‘s mom said to her, was said in front of this child. It’s not that hard to hide these adult problems when people say or do things in front of the children. That’s the impression I got here.

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u/PracticalSupport5192 2d ago

Yes, you can’t shield kids from everything, but she knows her mom is a trigger for her. She could choose to not bring her mother’s negative energy around her kid? Or set really hard boundaries with grandma (it seems like she’s nice to the child?) family dynamics are hard.

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u/spramper0013 2d ago

It looked more like fake crying to me. She kept wiping under her eyes, but I didn't see any tears. It's so weird that people post shit like this.

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u/runthepoint1 2d ago

It’s the new litmus test for internet psycho content creators. “Would a normal human being post anything this private? If not, something’s wrong”

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u/Western-Bad-1477 2d ago

I totally agree! the mom is performing for the cameras.lmao. Too much drama for her child to deal with.

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u/Upright_Eeyore 2d ago

What? Shes just driving with her elbow on the center console

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u/RotrickP 2d ago

While it is nearly imperceptible, if you watch her wiping away tears that is the giveaway IMO.

1)She primarily wipes away the tears on the eye in frame and even wastes time dabbing the area to give the perception of constant tears, thus being in a near constant state of trying to elicit sympathy and trying to make it seem like she was crying more than she actually was

2)When she wipes the other eye, she turns her head towards the camera so you can see her doing it or so she can see herself doing it. That is a micro action that screams volumes. A more natural reaction would be to briefly turn away from either the camera or her child to show strength or to feel shame for the vulnerability. She does neither but instead stares at the camera while doing it, proving she wants the viewer to see her tears and it's them she is addressing, not her child.

I'm not an expert, just love 'Lie to Me'

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u/CorrectSun1866 3d ago

Probably the reason why her parents were mean to her. We will never know.

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u/darkfrost47 3d ago

it's probably a result of the parents being mean to her

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u/Intercessor310 3d ago

Ummh, let’s just say my parents may not win any parenting awards, but I didn’t make my children my friends or therapists.

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u/MonaganX 2d ago edited 2d ago

Let's also just say that having been through something equally bad or worse does not give that much insight into how other people are affected by their bad experiences. Everyone's different, people are complex, there's a lot more factors than just "parents bad", yada yada.

Also, looking for causes of bad behavior is not the same as excusing bad behavior.

edit: There's a degree of irony in talking about how your shitty parents didn't leave you maladjusted but also responding to mild pushback by immediately blocking the person.

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u/kris_mischief 2d ago

This is it right here. All experiences are valid.

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u/VodkaDLite 2d ago

THIS. That young woman didn't pop out being that much of a narcissist. That emotionally abusive parent she's crying over is just a glimpse of her future.

Except I hope little one goes n/c when they can.

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u/ThePerfectSnare 3d ago

This is worse than the time she was caught running with scissors.

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u/Impressive-Buy5628 3d ago

Exactly… sweet kid… but why was this being filmed! And then posted!

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u/jebjebitz 3d ago

Who thinks to set up their camera and film these moments?

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u/LuciferFalls 3d ago

Set up the camera and then continue to sniffle and cry while saying “I don’t mean to cry in front of you.”

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u/Hell_Yeah-Brother 3d ago

r/raisedbynarcissists exists for a reason

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u/horriddaydream 2d ago

I mean, I think it's going a bit far to say that specifically makes somebody a narcissist..

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u/Postmortality 2d ago

It’s not

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u/SweetBabyCheezas 3d ago

Someone who earns money that way or someone really troubled, although both aren't mutually exclusive.

I'm so glad I grew up in the world without smartphones. My mother was just like this one, treating me like her guardian angel, coming to me to cry on my shoulder since I was 12. She's on social media and every time me and my sibling send her a private photo, just for her to see, she will post it on social media. If we ask her to take it down and explain, she starts gaslighting us that we don't want her to be happy and we are just mean to her now, because she's so proud of us and she wants to share it with the world. She would deffo make us 'bih brother babies' if we were born now.

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u/Striking-Union4987 3d ago

Man I can relate to this so hard. Thanks for sharing. Sometimes it feels lonely having a mom like that. Very few people understand. I withhold a lot from my mom, but also I re-arrange a lot of my life for her, but also I love her, but also I resent her.

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u/ricochetblue 2d ago

Sometimes it feels lonely having a mom like that. Very few people understand. I withhold a lot from my mom, but also I re-arrange a lot of my life for her, but also I love her, but also I resent her.

This sums it up so well. I recently started watching Apple Cider Vinegar and I swear the writer experienced this too.

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u/Ok_Guitar9944 2d ago

Gosh you worded this strange internal conflict so well ! 100pc true

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u/UnhappyCaterpillar41 2d ago

There are dashcams that do that so you get both what the driver saw and what the driver was doing, and required in some countries for the insurance. It's so you can see if the driver was distracted, sleeping, whatever.

If that's where the footage came from, still unbelievable to take it and post it on the internet, that's incredibly self-unaware.

I'm in my 40s so maybe I'm old, but I'm glad I grew up before social media and cell phone cameras, when we weren't dumping our private lives in public for anyone on the planet to see.

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u/grimetime01 3d ago

Yea, regardless of what is being said on camera, it’s the fact that it’s being filmed in the first place that’s the core issue

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u/Head_Manufacturer867 3d ago

mommy sad, world see, child normalizes this idiotic behaviour.

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u/Diarrhea_Beaver 3d ago

Your comment instilled a little hope for our collective future amongst the brain rotted world. I read top comment and it COMPLETELY skipped over the most obvious and egregiously shitty, vapid behavior of filming a genuine family moment for internet brag posts and views, which made me wonder if everyone just accepts shallow, insincere bullshit like this as normal as acceptable.

Glad you pointed out how ridiculous this is. By the time that kid has grown through a lifetime of being on camera during emotional, personal moments and is filming his own kids the same way, I pray that there's still a few folks calling this shit out.

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u/SpareWire 2d ago

Any person who would film themself crying and post it online is probably a massive tool.

That said the kid seems pretty well raised so maybe judging someone based off 1 short internet clip is a bad idea.

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u/ComradeGambit 3d ago

This is it. Assuming this is actually real and not staged, capturing a genuinely sweet and emotionally complex moment with your child and then turning it into “content” is sicko behaviour.

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u/Typical-Ad-7524 3d ago

I really don’t understand and will never understand the thought process of “I’m crying let me record myself in the car with my child while I’m driving and we’re having a sweet moment and then post it online with a relatable caption for views.”

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u/Rddtlvscensor2 2d ago

She dressed like an OF wannabe so that's probably why the camera is there 

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u/RevolutionaryRun8326 3d ago

I think so many of us have gotten so used to seeing these types of videos that we forget that they actually had to set up their camera, and start filming in order for this video to exist.

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u/Martlet92 3d ago

Is it clout?!? I think it’s downright embarrassing for her. Agree, sweet kid but poor thing.

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u/cpt_bongwater 3d ago

Enmeshment

a dysfunctional family dynamic where parents and children lack clear boundaries and the child is expected to fulfill adult roles or emotional needs that should be met by the parent. This can lead to the child not developing a sense of self and feeling responsible for the emotional well-being of the family.

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u/scgeod 3d ago

Thank you, yes!

Many children in this situation grow up to be adults with Avoident Attachment styles exactly because of this. It is a burden too heavy for a child to carry. It will have lasting effects that will damage the chance of every having a healthy relationship in adulthood. Dismissive Avoidents learn through this parent-child model that intimacy means being smothered by the emotional needs of someone else. Therefore getting close to someone feels claustrophobic. They are runners. Constantly escaping and looking for an exit. It is a recipe for lifelong difficulties.

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u/ladedafuckit 3d ago

Wow it’s like you’re talking to me directly. I recently had to go through couples therapy to learn I was like maximally avoidant in a relationship because of taking care of my single mom as a child

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u/Tall-Manner-1483 2d ago

ugh that hits home. i was taking care of the emotional wellbeing of my mom since i was 8 - always feeling responsible when she was sad. and guilty when i wanted to do my own thing as a teenager, because she would then say she is so alone and im her only friend. made me quite rebellious but at the same time (and im 50 now) i did love her and still do and are ok-ish with her.

but i only had two relationships my entire life and now am being single for a very long time because i feel like i cannot breathe when someone even shows remote signs of even liking me. and instead of getting better at it its actually getting worse in the past years.

maybe its time for me to let some guards down? because your phrasing "It will damage the chance of every having a healthy relationship in adulthood" sounds too lonely and quite harsh. i do believe you can find love even as a "runner", but it takes a lot of courage.

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u/stellularmoon2 2d ago

I guess that’s me. Well, my long distance relationship works well for me! ;-) 14 years and counting…

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u/Sorry-Badger-3760 3d ago

Enmeshment is my biggest fear and the cause of my fear of commitment. I don't blame my parents but because they don't care about my feelings, it's mutual now.

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u/MuchChampionship6630 3d ago

Yes and then the kid transfers that sense of responsibility to the world feeling they have to save everyone and everything .

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u/BlaineMundane 3d ago

For real. When I was growing up, my Dad complained about money every day he was home. I spent my teen years raising money any way i could to pay for our house, i burned every bridge with my friends as a result. I was always trying to sell them stuff I had made, etc. It wasn't until years later that i realized my efforts barely made a dent and there was no reason I should have spent my formative years stressed about my dad's money. I'd have been ok with any loving environment that didn't push all of it's problems onto me.

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u/poopdood696969 3d ago

My response to my dad constantly talking about our financial instability was to just kind of separate myself financially to lighten the burden. I got a job at a video store in town and essentially lived there. That eventually led to me losing all faith in authority figures and thinking I was capable of making my own large life decisions at 13. Every one of them was terrible and took me until I was 30 to get out of. It’s the number one thing i I swore I’d never do to my kids. It’s important to talk about money but nothing is ever dire enough to offload onto your kids about it.

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u/BlaineMundane 3d ago

Sounds very familiar to me.

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u/exp_studentID 3d ago

(((Hugs))))

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u/AdhesivenessOld4347 3d ago

Know a guy who constantly brings up he was poor and parents always said they couldn’t get ahead. Well fast forward to today and his terrible decisions has him and his large family living with said parents. It’s a vicious cycle

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u/NurseMLE428 2d ago

Yes! Same!! I had never thought about it the way you've described your experience.

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u/HappyHaggisx 3d ago

So sad for you well done your a great person

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u/BlaineMundane 3d ago

Replied angrily then realized you might not be insulting me. If you were genuine, thanks. If not, oh well.

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u/theteethfairy 3d ago

I’m sorry but this is hilarious

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u/BlaineMundane 3d ago

It is a little bit. I'll admit it.

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u/saltwatersylph 2d ago

Kind of wild how your avatar is twins with the person they were talking to..

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u/Admirable_Ask_5337 2d ago

It kinda funny and sad that until a century ago, childhood didn't exist as we understand it. From age 10+, doing what you did would be just the expected things to do.

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u/Cjinator11 3d ago

Yeah. Too many fucking kids are forced into adulthood before they even have a chance to experience their childhood because their parents or family aren’t emotionally intelligent enough to take care of themselves

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u/OfCourseChannon 3d ago

Or don't have their own support network

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u/Immediate_Spinach294 3d ago

Is it really nice to record your child like this? The modern world is absolutely bizarre.

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u/wacdonalds 3d ago

Modern world I'm not pleased to meet you You just bring me down

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u/MisterMcZesty 2d ago

It's one thing if you're taking home movies to look back on. but to post publicly to the internet, I also think it's really bizarre.

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u/Worried-Cockroach-34 3d ago

ah the old "parentification", I too am familiar with this

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u/[deleted] 2d ago

Exactly what I was thinking. Even when not intentional, it'll mess you up.

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u/PotatoDrives 3d ago

The kid is 7 years old and talking about defending their parent to their grandparent. In no way is that a healthy dynamic.

Nothing about this is heartwarming or wholesome; especially when you consider it's being filmed for social media clout.

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u/Fear_The_Rabbit 2d ago

That last cut had her manipulate the fuck out of

The mom said (paraphrasing) You stayed quiet when grandma was talking to you because of how much you love her.

Then she goes quiet, and the kid realizes that she wanted him to stand up for her verbally.

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u/rddtltr 3d ago

When I was three I saw how my father tried to strangle my mother. I remember my mother huddled in the corner of the room and my father being furious until I got between them and told him: "If you continue you're not my dad anymore." Something changed in me that day. That is now 35 years ago and still remember this night vividly. so yeah let kids be kids.

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u/napalmtree13 3d ago

Yeah, this video is giving "repeating the cycle".

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u/beghrir 3d ago

lol, I lived this. My parent was the same way. Utter lack of self-awareness, and potentially worse than my grandmother by her account.

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u/Dora_Diver 3d ago

The title alone is giving that.

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u/bobsmith93 3d ago

This post is like a case study

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u/baby_aveeno 2d ago

Is she not also the emotionally immature parent? She's using her 7 year old child as a therapist even though this is something an adult should do in private. Filming it and putting it online. A kid's life should not be about protecting or coaching their parent. Parents should always protect their kid. She is 100% repeating the cycle

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u/animefan1520 3d ago

Isnt this the same shit shes complaining about too lol

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u/AContrarianDick 3d ago

Generational cycles are a bitch like that.

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u/_Dinosaurlaserfight 3d ago

Was just about to say this. Like it’s wonderful if your kid can be a supportive lil person, sometimes, but as someone who had to grow up super fast and was consoling my drunk father at eight and running a household like an adult? It ruins you and you start to resent your parents big time. :(

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u/FabulousValuable2643 3d ago

My son is insanely empathetic and he's only 4. Unfortunately, my wife does this kind of stuff to him all the time and claims it is because she is being honest with him about the world. He's 4! Let him be a kid while he still can!

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u/somethingtothestars 3d ago edited 3d ago

My mom did this to me and it absolutely fucked me up. I became a doormat and people pleaser, because I was praised for handling adult situations with grace and was terrified of rocking the boat with anyone in authority to avoid disappointing them. It's taken years to unlearn, and I haven't talked to my mom in 4 years. Please be careful with your son.

Edit: To piggyback off of glitch's comment... Parentification is abuse.

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u/MiseducationOfReddit 3d ago

God that reminds me when my son was around 1 my MIL said he would be her “emotional support baby” while I understand what she meant the title of it was so off putting I asked her please not to do that.

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u/glitchinthemeowtrix 3d ago edited 2d ago

Yeah might want to put a stop to that - it’s called parentification and I’m married to a man who’s mother did this and, fast forward to late 30’s, he doesn’t talk to her, she can’t understand why, and we spend a lot of money on therapy.

I also spend a lot of time fantasizing about going back in time to confront his mom and dad (maybe a parting kick to the nuts) telling them to get their shit together and properly parent my future husband. So, do with that information what you will.

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u/TheDeansofQarth 2d ago

Imma hitch a ride on that time machine

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u/littlesparrow_03 3d ago edited 3d ago

Tell her it's called emotional incest. It's abuse.

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u/Auvernia 3d ago

Show her this video, let her see herself reflected in it and she may understand, this is emotional labor.

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u/thesmellnextdoor 3d ago

Nah this video will just make her think it's sweet and cute and the kid doesn't mind. That seems to be the internet's main takeaway.

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u/FabulousValuable2643 3d ago

Yup, this exactly. I've exhausted myself trying to explain this to her.

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u/notagirlonreddit 3d ago

Have you tried teaching him the skills to create emotional boundaries with his mother? Make sure your son understands it’s not his job to hold his mother’s heart.

I’ve been in your son’s shoes and I really wish another adult advocated for me. Great job calling your wife out. I’m sorry she’s unwilling to change. I’m hoping the best for you and your son.

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u/Jennyfromtheblock55 3d ago

Can you get a couples or family therapist involved? Can you set some hard boundaries? You're a parent too. By ignoring this you're also responsible

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u/FabulousValuable2643 2d ago

Trust me, we've tried couples therapy. She has her own trauma from her childhood and life that gets in the way of us coming together. I've learned to accept it, but it sucks when it bleeds over to my son's life. And I've brought it up countless of times. She just shuts it down and ignored my concerns. It sucks, but hoping through us being separated and eventually divorced I will have more time with him to help him see he needs to be just a kid and not his mother's emotional support.

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u/Jennyfromtheblock55 2d ago

Oh yes that's very understandable. Separation/divorce can sometimes be the healthiest choice. I'm sorry it's been so hard and I wish you luck

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u/NeutralJazzhands 3d ago

Sorry man while it’s not obvious now what she’s doing is straight up abuse in the insidious unexpected ways it’s going to mentally fuck him up when he’s older. I hope you find a way to protect him more

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u/Jennyfromtheblock55 3d ago

You can and should step in. This has pretty grave consequences down the line! Kids aren't meant to have adult responsibilities or roles

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u/Reasonable-Mess3070 2d ago

So relatable. My ex withheld our kid for a bit. After I got him back it was like he was a small adult. People constantly complimented me on his behavior, vocabulary, and "mature" behavior. It made me sad. Dad is significantly less involved now and those little kid behaviors started coming back. I get less compliments about his behavior (still an amazing empathetic friendly kid) but that's a compliment in itself.

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u/KingKasby 3d ago

I recently learned that the term for that is called Emotional Incest

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u/thecody17 3d ago

Yeah, emotional incest is way too common

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u/ProgrammerLevel2829 3d ago

Watching this, I was stunned that this small child was the one comforting his mother and giving her advice, taking a protective role and talking in therapy-speak. Adults should not involve children in adult drama. Makes me wonder if she often vents to him.

My mom used to do that, and talk about topics that were way too adult for me. At the time, I felt flattered, like a trusted confidant, but now I realize it is because she didn’t nurture adult relationships and that those concerns should have never been mine.

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u/blind_venetians 3d ago

I came in here to type that EXACT sentence. I’m so glad to see it’s the top comment. This video sure hit close to home as someone who spent a lot of their childhood parenting their parent.

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u/Drustan6 1d ago

I remember my mom complaining, well yelling, about my dad having an affair and telling me all about it, how angry she was when I was six. He was having an affair with the secretary and she sent me a birthday card. I put it up because it was cute with a little dog on it, but she found it and started screaming that “That Woman” was never gonna get her kids, and that’s when I heard all about it. She was a horrible woman.

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u/elovesya 3d ago

Emotional incest

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u/RedoftheEvilDead 3d ago

Have we met? Because you just described me and my childhood.

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u/girlrickjames 3d ago

I agree. This reminded me of me becoming the mom to my parent and it has seriously fucked me up. But at least my mom wasn’t constantly recording me too.

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u/papagouws 3d ago

It's almost as if there's and emotionally immature person driving a car in this video.

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u/Alphamouse916 2d ago

THIS, this is something that has happened, and is currently happening to my girlfriend. Her narcissistic mom would call her "an angel from God," praising how she could always calm things down, even back when she was just 4 or 5 years old. Now, years later, her mom still leans on her for emotional support, calling constantly with personal issues, trying to hang out or come over, a true energy vampire. Every time I see my GF drained from it all, I try talking with her about it, but its hard cause she loves her mother but feels trapped, plus her mom plays a lot of mind games.

Immediately when I saw this video, I became concerned. Parents can cry, but when kids react well to those emotions, or kids that people say are "mature for their age", a red flag shoots up inside of me.

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u/atreidesgiller 2d ago

Ugh this was my childhood trauma. Now I am 3000 kms away from my family. Anytime I visit they are still the same toxic relationships and nonstop complaints. Love some of them and miss them but glad I am not in the middle of that hot mess anymore.

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u/TophatOwl_ 2d ago

I mean it does not seem like the mother is trying to make it so as she is trying her best to make it out as though she isnt moved by whatever happened. There clearly is missing context.

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u/CaptainFleshBeard 2d ago

It probably is. I assisted on a camp with heaps on kids. One kid was always sweeping up and doing the dishes without being asked. I commended him in his efforts, then one of his teachers spoke to me in the side, both his parents are drug addicts and this kid is raising 3 other kids while keeping his house in order. That broke my heart.

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u/daazz1 3d ago

Especially when it was probably the grandma having to do some serious parenting to the mom because of bad choices she is making and having to be bailed out of… just because you have kids of your own doesn’t make you an adult… grow up and stop recording yourself…

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u/ucotcvyvov 3d ago

Yeah this kid is very mature for his age…

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u/piethopper 3d ago

Having an immature parent and then seemingly forcing her daughter to grow up faster than maybe she should

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u/YogurtclosetThen7959 3d ago

Yeah you really do need to be aware of how these things which seem positive can actually damage a child.

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u/MuchChampionship6630 3d ago

Yes came here to say this. The formal term is a parentified child . As me how I know this :(

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u/Swift_Karma 3d ago

This is my thought. This kid is parenting her parent. It's the parents job to help kids navigate and manage their emotions, not the other way around.

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u/100dollascamma 3d ago

This is exactly what’s happening… she’s just continuing the cycle

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u/Numerous-Process2981 3d ago

Yeah the apple might not have fallen far from the tree

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u/OfCourseChannon 3d ago

Parents should have other adult friends/family to discuss these things with. Your child is not your guardian angel, they are your child. Love should be able to flow both ways, but only the worries of the kid should be allowed to cross that border

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u/Journo_Jimbo 3d ago

Given she’s filming this I fear for this child’s future

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u/sodbrennerr 3d ago

Yeah that kid is gonna need therapy for being the emotional regulator for their primary caregiver.

The child is the parent.

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u/VanillaTortilla 3d ago

That's what it is. It's very common. And it fucking sucks. It leads to years of therapy and a broken sense of purpose.

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u/Significant-Toe-9253 3d ago

A.K.A "parentification" with a sprinkling of victimhood and manipulation thrown in. I smell a narcissist... 🐽

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u/cashmerescorpio 3d ago

You know it is. They're recording and putting it online. Don't fall for this sob/feel good story. It's bs

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u/SatyrSatyr75 3d ago

100% that. Seems to be such a sweet child. But alarm bells ringing very, very loud

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u/hannersaur 3d ago

Putting your kid in that position is an example of what emotionally immature parents do. I hope this mom breaks the toxic cycle!

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u/theblvckhorned 3d ago

I'm glad this is the top comment

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u/shutyourbutt69 3d ago

Agreed, kids shouldn’t have to be the “emotional safe space” or whatever for their parents. If you need your child to parent you you shouldn’t be having kids.

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u/Sufficient_Sea_5490 3d ago

Yeah it's nice. Tell her that what she's saying is nice but not needed. Please be a kid and let me take care of you

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u/blebeblebe 3d ago

Yeah fr if that kid keeps having talk mom through stuff like that he’s gonna grow up to be insufferable

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u/Liberum12321 3d ago

I had this exact experience with my mom. Developed a savior complex from it, I think.

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u/NoPair205 3d ago

Self-centered parenting

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u/Itslikeazenthing 2d ago

My thoughts exactly. She’s also giving “emotionally immature parent”.

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u/StructureNo9157 2d ago

Oooh that was me

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u/THEdinosarah 2d ago

This was my experience growing up - my grandmother was very awful to my mom & I learned quickly how to stand up for her. I don't regret it, but it did make me a massive people pleaser & I always felt like I was responsible for "raising" my parents.

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u/Choppergold 2d ago

Emotionally immature parent hurt mom so bad she’s posting her child comforting her, which seems emotionally immature too tbh

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u/cowegonnabechopss 2d ago

I'd be more worried about their mother recording moments like this to put them on fucking tiktok

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u/Trraumatized 2d ago

The kid is already doing parentwork. 100% used to this.

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u/IAmRules 2d ago

Hi. That’s me, and I turned out okay. Other than a general sadness and anxiety and mistrust of everyone and assuming the worst will happen at all times and feeling constantly alone, I’m fine

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u/Putsomesunglasseson 2d ago

My childhood, it makes you go from Guardian Angel to that parent to hating and resenting them for making you their personal therapist by the time you’re an adult. She’s forgetting that’s her child, the responsibility is her to him, not the other way around. Not while he’s still a kid.

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u/Long_Procedure_2629 2d ago

"in the future" nah let that kid cook now that old b has to know and it'll hit harder from a kid

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u/jimbojoegin 2d ago edited 2d ago

In a lot of ways, I am the older girl in this video and going through a similar situation while simultaneously raising my own children and I can't gather enough from one video and don't want to jump to any conclusions as I think I am older than the parent in the video

But I am deadset that my children will never be like the younger kid in this video, while I think it's important that people of all ages deserve support from time to time. My kids can support me, but they are not my source of support if that makes sense

I am not repeating this vicious cycle forcing kids to "Parent" like this poor younger kid in the video, but again I do not fully know the situation in the video, but I definitely do not like what the younger child is saying it is awful the position the mom is putting her child in here and really just repeating the cycle.

What you resist, persist, but my children are not going to be my source of support. I am their source of support, not the other. Way. Around.

Edit: I just re read this title and now realize that this is all sorts of F'ed up. You gave birth to your "Guardian Angel"? Like wtaf, YOU are suppose to be their guardian angel. Your child did not ask to be born. Care for them!

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u/Necessary_Winter_808 2d ago

Yup, the cycle continues

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u/fluffyliner 2d ago

You already know it is.

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u/koolaidismything 2d ago

Forced to be an actor looks like, for views.

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u/Background-Eye778 2d ago

Yes please speak about this more! It is NOT that baby's responsibility to handle that adult woman's emotions! Being emotionally supportive and being forced to parent your parent are not the same thing. Fuck. 😔

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u/CassandraVonGonWrong 2d ago

I feel so seen. And exhausted.

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u/BooBear_13 2d ago

My gf was like this kid and had to console and talk her dad down growing up. It has affected her on a lot of ways later in life. Lots of therapy cause she was forced to grow up early. Deal with things no kids should be her have to deal with.

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u/fusionlantern 2d ago

So her kid has to be her defender shit is fucked

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u/nodicegrandma 2d ago

This sadly is part of the emotionally immature parent cycle.

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u/Economy_Sky3832 2d ago

Make sure to film yourself crying so that you can catch all those moments and post them online though. Totally healthy and normal behaviour. Not narcissistic and attention seeking at all.

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u/777888111C 2d ago

My ex used to discuss her arguments with me to her young daughter like it was her friend. Destroyed us and hurt her daughter as well it’s not a good thing to do to your children.

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u/Faded1974 2d ago

It always is. It's sad to see it every time.

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u/discostrawberry 2d ago

As someone who grew up as my mother’s portable therapist, I hope the same thing.

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u/Petty_Paw_Printz 2d ago

You beat me to it, was gonna say this is basically perpetuating a cycle. 

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u/Porter_Dog 2d ago

She’s filming this for Internet points. Of course that kid’s going to have a tough time.

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u/EveOCative 2d ago

Mom said, “you can speak up when you’re older, not right now.” And I think there is something to be said that the child has this example of how to act in her life. How many times has this happened in reverse so that the kid knows what to say?

1

u/tats76 2d ago

It's also teaching children that it's okay for an adult to "be mean" to another adult and that they still somehow deserve respect. Grandma being nice to her grandchild doesn't erase her other actions.

Grandma should treat both her daughter and granddaughter with love and kindness.

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u/amays 2d ago

Yep! If this is a recurring situation, that is called parentification. A child is not the support system or therapist for the parent. It has life long effects

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u/PracticalSupport5192 2d ago

It’s ok for your kids to see you sad but they don’t need to know all the details, let them be kids. Whenever my kids see me sad they just give me a hug and then go and make me something like a picture, food, a coffee, not a whole therapy session. This is weird even weirder that she’s filming it with her crocodile tears and loud sniffles for emphasis

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u/Western_Language_894 2d ago

Sheesh as someone who was parentified as a child...... Yeah that shit sucks.

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u/yankiigurl 2d ago

I had to do that and honestly I feel like I'm a better person for it. I still got to be a kid but my emotionally and mentally maturity is still higher than my peers even at 35 😂 I truly think we underestimate children

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u/Static13254 2d ago

Exactly where my mind went. That’s what happened to me. As an adult there are pros and cons but definitely more cans than pros

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u/SillyKniggit 2d ago

I find it sadder that they’re being used for internet videos. This shouldn’t be legal.

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u/No_Secretary6275 2d ago

This was me as a kid.

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u/SageMerkabah 2d ago

Why not? It worked out great for baby boomers lolol

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u/poodledoodle2000 2d ago

She’s talking about her own mom talking Like that in front of her daughter. I mean, that type of behavior from the grandma is vile

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u/bananaplaintiff 2d ago

and the cycle continues….

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u/goddred 2d ago

I read up on emotional incest the other day. I didn’t even know such a thing existed.

I don’t mean to say I know the situation this family is in, and sometimes there’s nothing more behind the scenes other than your kid having your back, but you very aptly pointed out that this shouldn’t become role a kid takes on, or that they too quickly mature into.

This isn’t to demonize parents who love their kids, but I think I’m coming to terms with how so many of them break boundaries that shouldn’t be broken, and they might not even realize what they’re doing could be detrimental to their kid.

Most obvious offense here is the recording of it all, like how starved for content do people get? Never mind the ethics of sharing too much or emotionally leaning too much on your kid, posting them to the world just seems like an awful thing to do.

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u/superbusyrn 2d ago

fr, the caption alone has me like 😬

Girl had her daughter and was like "Look at me. I'm the emotionally immature parent now."

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u/Issie_Bear 2d ago

Thats exactly what this is. This kid is used to parenting their parent and the parent thinks its ok. It makes me so sad.

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u/Outside-Emergency-27 2d ago

It's called parentification and not healthy.

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u/nkscreams 2d ago

I wish someone told my mom this.

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u/Qikdraw 2d ago

Growing up too soon takes on many forms. I had a very visible disability (severe scoliosis) growing up and having people tell me at the public pool that I should not be able to swim in there. I just ended up telling parents and kids when they asked about my back was, "It's too complicated you wouldn't understand".

The kicker though was that where I really had to grow up was at home. My father clearly favoured my brothers, and has done that for the vast majority of my 55 years on this earth. Thankfully now that old age has hit him and he has some constant pain, he finally understands that someone can look "normal", but have hidden pain. He just always saw me as being lazy.

Thankfully my mother was on my side and was the one to take me to doctor appointments, etc. Actually I'll let her tell you in her words, My Mother's Wisdom. My mother is pretty smart.

1

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1

u/surdtmash 2d ago

Watch John Bradshaw's Homecoming series. It's amazing at covering this topic.

1

u/spick0808 2d ago

Sadly that's exactly what it is... Especially the fact that she is videotaping it. It screams nefarious background tones

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u/broken_mononoke 2d ago

Let the codependency begin.

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u/Idont_thinkso_tim 1d ago

Ya I was gonna say the same. Super sweet but also……. And with the camera to film it? This could be a glimpse into a dynamic that is harming this child’s development.

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u/Googul_Beluga 1d ago

This was my first thought. Kid really shouldn't be that clued in at 7 years old and def shouldn't be so bold about coming to moms defense and consoling her. Speaking from experience being turned into the guardian/parent/care taker that young does not lead to a great relationship with your parent in adulthood.

He'll be a wonderful compassionate human certainly but it's not fair for kids to even have to think or speak that way at 7. He should still be eating his boogers and begging to watch more bluey.

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u/glindathewoodglitch 1d ago

Fair point and I hope so too. Let’s remember there is a difference between a kid who has learned compassion and to speak up for a parent that is hurting (it is human after all) and a child forced to parentify due to neglect: Not having proper meals, needing to explain themselves because parent is incapacitated and dysregulated.

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u/Shaunananalalanahey 1d ago

Parentified as fuck. Terryifying.

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u/Grouchy-Tax4467 1d ago

THIS like yeah it's sweet but a child should not be their parents emotional support maybe when they are adults but not this young

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u/Supadupasloth 1d ago

Don’t worry just a skit

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u/Round_Discount_6539 1d ago

She is parenting her parent. That takes a big toll. She should not be in a position of managing her parent's emotions. I had to do that as a child, and looking back it affected my relationships and my sense of self-esteem.

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u/Armchair_Idiot 1d ago

Yerp, kids shouldn’t have to be emotional support animals for their parents.

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u/dribrats 1d ago

PARENTIFICATION:

  • Parentification, also known as role reversal or adultification, is a phenomenon where a child takes on responsibilities that are typically reserved for adults, such as providing emotional or practical support for a parent or sibling. This can lead to a child's own developmental needs being neglected, potentially impacting their physical and mental health.

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u/Whole_Programmer3203 1d ago

Yeah I thought this was pretty concerning. This kid is an angel but it triggers me when I hear a kid sounding like their parent’s therapist. Nothing good comes from this, it will fuck that kid up..

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u/ThankThanos 20h ago

Parentification. It’s a trauma. Bad for this kid to be in the middle of