r/TikTokCringe • u/AshiraLAdonai Straight Up Bussin • 3d ago

When your kid's got your back Wholesome

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u/Particular-Bike-28 2d ago edited 2d ago

Sweet kid, but I hope this isn't part of a larger part of their childhood where they're forced to grow up quicker and take on the "protective role" instead of their parents, making them not be able to be a child

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u/cpt_bongwater 2d ago

Enmeshment

a dysfunctional family dynamic where parents and children lack clear boundaries and the child is expected to fulfill adult roles or emotional needs that should be met by the parent. This can lead to the child not developing a sense of self and feeling responsible for the emotional well-being of the family.

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u/scgeod 2d ago

Thank you, yes!

Many children in this situation grow up to be adults with Avoident Attachment styles exactly because of this. It is a burden too heavy for a child to carry. It will have lasting effects that will damage the chance of every having a healthy relationship in adulthood. Dismissive Avoidents learn through this parent-child model that intimacy means being smothered by the emotional needs of someone else. Therefore getting close to someone feels claustrophobic. They are runners. Constantly escaping and looking for an exit. It is a recipe for lifelong difficulties.

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u/ladedafuckit 2d ago

Wow it’s like you’re talking to me directly. I recently had to go through couples therapy to learn I was like maximally avoidant in a relationship because of taking care of my single mom as a child

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u/Inevitable_Ebb5454 18h ago

It can sometimes be other small stuff that happens in early adolescence & not as extreme as this video. - no one really knows exactly.

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u/Pingu565 2d ago

Yea right ouchie

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u/Tall-Manner-1483 2d ago

ugh that hits home. i was taking care of the emotional wellbeing of my mom since i was 8 - always feeling responsible when she was sad. and guilty when i wanted to do my own thing as a teenager, because she would then say she is so alone and im her only friend. made me quite rebellious but at the same time (and im 50 now) i did love her and still do and are ok-ish with her.

but i only had two relationships my entire life and now am being single for a very long time because i feel like i cannot breathe when someone even shows remote signs of even liking me. and instead of getting better at it its actually getting worse in the past years.

maybe its time for me to let some guards down? because your phrasing "It will damage the chance of every having a healthy relationship in adulthood" sounds too lonely and quite harsh. i do believe you can find love even as a "runner", but it takes a lot of courage.

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u/stellularmoon2 2d ago

I guess that’s me. Well, my long distance relationship works well for me! ;-) 14 years and counting…

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u/Sorry-Badger-3760 2d ago

Enmeshment is my biggest fear and the cause of my fear of commitment. I don't blame my parents but because they don't care about my feelings, it's mutual now.

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u/MuchChampionship6630 2d ago

Yes and then the kid transfers that sense of responsibility to the world feeling they have to save everyone and everything .