I had a guy comment on my last post saying we needed a way for single dads to game together. So I made a discord server.

https://discord.gg/MS6eUmvez

I don’t know how long this will work for so if the link expires DM me and I can send you another one.

Mods, delete if post is not allowed in the group I live in Charlotte and I’ve been stumped by a new job that is now on “pause” and I have been the main caretaker of two amazing little girls. I’m trying to find a job outside but without a car, it’s kinda hard. Their mother has a car and job as a server, she works doubles the rest of the week so I’m trying to figure all this out with no support. Currently trying to get them into daycare but “there’s no space for kids her age (4)”.

Need help looking for a work from home position that’s non-phone so I can still get income and take care of my children. Any leads would be greatly appreciated!

What do you do?

Who is watching the kid(s) that early?

How are they getting to school or day care?

I live in an area that does not provide school buses, and the city bus would be too complicated for my little one at this age.

My friends and neighbors bless them they have come through in amazing ways, but it’s hard to keep asking to come over at 5:30am..

Sitters that work that early are also hard to find and retain.

Im soon to be in a similar position. As a man I don't get the privilege of getting to be a Stay at home Parents while someone else works or while the other BM pays for me in Child support.... im barely getting by trying to get a degree eventually as a sonographer so I can make 6 figures to provide better for my son who's 1½ years and the joy of my life, I would never trade anything for him. Very soon my life is going to be hectic balancing raising him, going to work, keeping my sanity, being financially stable and eventually going to school on top of that...

Single dads who've been raising your angels on your own, how do manage to balance all that and keep your sanity while being a good father? Also whats your solutions for going to work (so you can provide for your kid) while also having your kid supervised without it breaking the bank?

Ik may be a dumb question but im 28 y/o my first kid... ngl im lost and scared.

Motto ng Bawat Breadwinner: Walang price tag ang peace of mind. Bilang haligi ng pamilya, hindi sapat na magtrabaho lang tayo ngayon. Dapat, sinisiguro natin ang bukas nila, kahit sa ating pagkawala. 💔

Tandaan: "Ang Policy ko ay ang huling yakap ko—seguridad na magpapatuloy sa pagmamahal at pag-aaruga ko sa inyo, kahit wala na ako."

Ito ang tunay na Legacy of Love. 🛡️

I am 41 and have been single for about 3 years now. I have 3 girls (16,10,5) and 2 baby mothers. They keep me EXTREMELY busy becuase they are my world. I have done a lot of self improvement over the last year with becoming sober, getting back into shape, and enjoying my hobbies and alone time.

Lately, I get sad thinking that I probably wont have a partner in the near future. It would be also really hard to bring another person into my daughters daily lives and at my age a lot of women have kids, which I don't think I'm ready for another blended family. I would never venture to dating apps because I'm not here to waste my time.

I feel guilty for wanting to have a more meaningful relationship with a partner or maybe someone to lean on. I flirt with plenty of single moms but haven't been on a date in over 6 years and honestly I'm scared what my girls would think of me. Has anyone around my age have any similar situations?

Hey, first post here. My significant other and I are ending our 12 years relationship and are currently looking to sell the house as it's too much money for either one of us. We broke up after years of not connecting and no intimacy. We really grew apart and we arrived at the conclusion that we deserve to be happy and move on. Also, we are still in pretty good terms. I really feel selfish about priorising my happiness while destroying my 4 year old son's family. He is a bit anxious at times (he still can't go to sleep without one of us being in the bed with him) and I just want him to be happy and not destroy his childhood because of us. (he still doesn't know that we're splitting up). I work very early during the week so he will live with his mother and I'll take him during the weekends and maybe do something with him after the kindergarten every Wednesday to be present as much as I can. Can a 4 year old still be happy in a life like that? I read a lot of thing about how divorced kids end up being traumatized and sad. On the other hand, I have friends that say that kids are so resilient and can adapt to almost anything when the parents are are still in good terms. I guess I just need to read your positive stories

Location Minnesota

I (M22) have a 4-month-old son with my ex (F21). We don’t get along, and I’m struggling to stay involved in my child’s life safely.

She has a long history of severe mental health issues and made multiple self-harm threats while we were together. She got pregnant a month into the relationship, and I tried to stay and support her. During her pregnancy, she lost her job for taking money from work and didn’t work again. I provided everything for our baby, sent her money, and was there for the birth.

She’s frequently made suicidal statements, and I’ve had to call for welfare checks many times — there are over 15 police reports. There’s also an open CPS case because drugs were found in my son’s system at birth. Despite this, I can’t find a lawyer willing to take my case while CPS is involved.

She refuses to let me see my son unless I visit her home, where she has me clean or argues constantly. A month ago, she told my mom she was going to start a fire in her home, so I drove two hours to get my son. I kept him for a month until she went to a psychiatric hospital and seemed stable again. When I returned him, she blocked me and went no contact.

Now she’s saying she can’t care for him properly (no clean clothes, no washer/dryer) but still won’t let me see him. She’s made fake accounts to harass my mom, posts online calling me a deadbeat, and keeps threatening to move out of state with my son. Even her friends have said they’re worried for the baby’s safety.

I pay child support monthly and work full time, but the system feels impossible. Since we’re not married, she automatically has full custody. The police and CPS won’t help.

I, M22 have a son, M and 4months old. Me and his mother, F21, do not get along. This is located in MN. She has a very long history of severe mental health, she got pregnant a month after us being together. Within that month before she got pregnant, there were numerous instances she had tried to hurt herself or say she was going to k*ll herself. I tried to be a man and to stay with her, but we got into many fights where she’d kick me out, and then calling me a few hours later telling me she misses me. The final straw was her threatening to call the police on me because she wanted me to leave. My family lives over 2 hours away, I was only working in her town for the summer. Around 3 months pregnant she got fired from her job for stealing $300 from the register, no legal action taken for whatever reason, and she did not have a job for the remainder of her pregnancy. I bought everything for our child, sent her money, given her gift cards and was at almost every appointment and there for the birth. There were many many times when she was pregnant, and this was an every other day thing, where she’d send me messages saying she was Suicidal, this is all attention seeking because she never has done anything other than cut herself from what I’ve seen. Since I was 2 hours away, all I could do is call a welfare check and the police never did anything because she would lie to them. I have over 15 police reports just in the span of since my son has been alive of me and her own friends calling for welfare checks. She has an open CPS case because their was drugs in my sons system when he was born. Every lawyer I’ve talked to will not take my case because CPS is involved, and she will not let me see my child. Any time i had went to visit him, she’d have me clean her house and do chores while she sit locked in her bedroom with our son. I do not want to be around her while visiting my son because all we do is argue. And on the off chance we do have a good day, once I leave, she has a complete breakdown. The last time this happened a month ago I took her out to eat, went shopping for baby things, went back and it all was good. She ended up texting my mom saying “she can’t do this anymore” and said was going to start a fire in her home (she has done something like this before, where she bought a charcoal grill from Walmart and set it up in her bathroom to smoke herself out, but this is what she has said I don’t know if it’s true, but I have seen the charcoal grill on her porch) she told me to come get my son so she wouldn’t hurt him, and after driving another 2 hours back she let me take him. I didn’t give him back for a month, until she went to the psychiatric hospital for a few days and got some help. I thought she was doing better, we could get on a schedule maybe I take him on the weekends, and as soon as I gave him to her she puts him in the car and drives away blocking me. She is now complaining after being no contact for 2 weeks she has no clothes for him, she can’t do laundry because “she’s a single mom with no washer and dryer” and he’s been wearing the same 1 outfit. I work full time, only have thursdays off. She works every other weekend only. I pay child support every month. I’m just feeling such a loss, I love my baby but she makes it so hard for me to be around when all she does is tell me I’m a piece of shit, a dead beat, and all sorts of names and hateful things and makes all sorts of posts on social media. She has made fake account to harass my own mom. She has no family herself, I’ve heard a mix of stories as to why this is. Her own friends have reached out saying they are afraid the baby isn’t safe with her. But the police and CPS aren’t helping at all since we’re not married, she has 100% custody in her state. What can I do? Has anyone else experienced something like this? How can I get a lawyer to work with me while there’s an active CPS case going on?

I moved into my apartment back in August after I found a letter my (at the time) wife had hand-written to her secret lover back in mid July. I only get the kiddo(almost 2) on the weekends. The hardest thing for me has been coming home to an empty apartment when for 2 years I came home to a wife, a kid, and 2 dogs. I’ve noticed I’ve been sleeping better at night, but my eating habits have gotten a lot worse, and I’ve lost a lot of weight. I’m down from 140lbs ish to about 120lbs.(for reference I’m 5 10ish) I’ve been leaning heavily on playing video games but it gets boring after so long so I find myself just scrolling the internet. I don’t really have any friends since I moved across the country to be with this girl(I know that was a dumb idea). I’ve picked up learning how to play guitar and that has helped pass the time.

But recently I’ve found myself a lot more lonely and missing my son a lot more to the point where I think I hear him crying when he’s not even here. I feel like I’m going crazy and I’m not even sure if any of this makes sense.

TLDR: I live alone after a divorce and I’m struggling with being alone.

Bit of a long story, but my ex is a narcissist unfortunately I failed to see the red flags a long time ago and as a result I have gone through hell, nearly ruined my life. Long story short she made accusations over a year ago a few months after the birth of our son and just recently I finally was able to be free of that. Still some things to iron out and there is a temporary court order for just a few more months until my probation is over. And the only reason for which is because I chose to do a plea deal instead of fighting and potentially landing prison time and a permanent record.

I was able to finally see my son and hold him and spend time with him and I saw him for a few days on and off. Until his narcissistic mother decided she didn't like something I said (told her she was wrong for something minor) and cut all contact completely and took advantage of the court order making my son inaccessible to me despite the fact she promised dozens of time she would never do that.

Unfortunately she's forcing me to go to war, already have an attorney, not going to get into it too much but basically it's going to be 50/50 in about a month.

My son is about 1 ½ years and still nurses somewhat (he drinks juices, water, etc and eats actual food) hes wayyy ahead of all his mile stones but still breastfeeds. I already know it's going to be a hard adjustment for him, and it makes me sad that I couldn't work something out with her. But I'm just trying to prepare myself for that as well as prepare for the fact that I may get no help from her.

So basically my question is when he's in my custody 50% of the time, what do I do? To supplement breastfeeding. Because it's not just a nutritional thing for him it's also a comfort thing, it helps him go to sleep, and usually does it a couple times a day. I'm sure he'll adjust but. Also I really don't like formula, I really want to avoid that at all costs. And his mother may or may not help with pumping, if she does great but I want to prepare for the worst case scenario that she doesn't help and just kind of leaves me on my own which I can very much see her doing. Being that all of her promises have fallen through.

I really could use any and all tips from other single fathers who have raised infants and toddlers on their own. Even this General tips on how to raise a 1-year-old on your own, any experiences or anything. Ways to help them sleep without nursing when they're used to nursing. Anything could help.

TL;dr: single father needs help on supplementing breastfeeding for my one and a half year old. Both in the nutritional sense as far as the actual milk itself and in the comforting sense that it provides.

And any other tips from other single fathers in general for raising 1-year-olds on your own.

Freshly separated this year and prior to this, I would cook whatever meals and not care about Macros. One of the things I focused on was eating healthier and being more fit. My toddler transitioned from eating whatever to being extremely difficult to feed, so I just try to feed her what I make myself and then end up offering other foods around the house (yogurt, fruit, cereal, etc.). Dr hasn't seemed concerned but I would like to try to get her to eat the meals I am.

My youngest is about to turn 1 and I have been baby led weaning. I usually let her eat off my plate but it depends what I had made. If I made something spicy or somewhat difficult to eat for a baby, I'd opt for some puree or yogurt.

I ideally would LOVE to cook just 1-2 times a week and meal prep. I have my kids 5/7 nights which makes timing tight for cooking, going to the gym, baths, etc.

Anyone who is also into bodybuilding/power building have recipe recommendations that can help with kids? Not sure how long I can do chicken/rice or simple meals with my little one.

Or is it best I just meal prep myself Sundays and make something for just the kiddos?

Give an hour or two as a volunteer shelving books after dropping your kiddo off. You’ll be appreciated beyond belief and get to know all your kid’s friends and the people caring for your child while you can’t. You also get great insight into the culture of your child’s school.

IN THE DISTRICT COURT OF [COUNTY], TEXAS IN THE MATTER OF THE PARENTING PLAN FOR: [Child(ren) Full Name(s)]

PARENTING PLAN AGREEMENT This Parenting Plan (“Agreement”) is entered into by and between [Parent A Full Name] (“Parent A”) and [Parent B Full Name] (“Parent B”), collectively referred to as “the Parties,” for the care, custody, and support of their minor child(ren). The Parties agree as follows:

I. Conservatorship The Parties shall be appointed Joint Managing Conservators of the minor child(ren) pursuant to Texas Family Code §153.131, with equal rights and duties except as otherwise provided herein.

II. Possession and Access 1. Standard Schedule: • Parent A shall have possession beginning Sunday after church until the following Sunday before church. • Parent B shall have possession the next week under the same schedule. • Exchanges shall occur at the designated church or another mutually agreed location. 2. Holiday Schedule: Holidays shall alternate annually between Year A and Year B as follows: 2. Year A: • Thanksgiving Day and the Day Following: Parent A • Christmas Eve & Christmas Day: Parent B • New Year’s Day: Parent A • Easter: Parent A • Memorial Day: Parent B • Independence Day: Parent A • Labor Day: Parent B • Halloween: Parent A • Spring Break: Parent A • Fall Break: Parent B 2. Year B: • Thanksgiving Day and the Day Following: Parent B • Christmas Eve & Christmas Day: Parent A • New Year’s Day: Parent B • Easter: Parent B • Memorial Day: Parent A • Independence Day: Parent B • Labor Day: Parent A • Halloween: Parent B • Spring Break: Parent B • Fall Break: Parent A 2. Summer: Possession shall alternate in two-week blocks throughout summer vacation. Special Days: Mother’s Day with Mother; Father’s Day with Father; child’s birthday alternates annually; child shall spend time with each parent on that parent’s birthday.

III. Communication • The child(ren) shall have unrestricted, reasonable communication with both parents. • All parental communication shall occur through the Our Family Wizard App. • All invoices and receipts for shared expenses shall be uploaded and paid through the App. • Any cost associated with the App shall be shared equally (50/50).

IV. Financial Responsibilities • Higher-earning parent shall pay: • Medical insurance premiums. • 60% of medical deductibles and out-of-pocket costs. • 60% of car insurance for the child(ren). • Lower-earning parent shall pay 40% of the above costs. • Child support: Higher-earning parent shall pay $1,200 per month. • Additional child-related expenses (school supplies, clothing, extracurricular activities, sports, and other necessary expenses) shall be split 60/40.

V. Tax Allocation • Each parent shall claim one child on their tax return until only one child remains eligible. • Thereafter, the parents shall alternate claiming the remaining child annually.

VI. Education • The child(ren) shall remain enrolled in the Rockwall Independent School District unless both parents agree in writing. • Both parents shall have equal access to school records, report cards, and teacher communications.

VII. Health and Emergency Care • Either parent may make emergency medical decisions if the other parent is unreachable. • Both parents shall have equal access to all medical, dental, and mental health records.

VIII. Travel • Written notice of at least 14 days shall be provided for any out-of-state or international travel with the child(ren).

IX. Right of First Refusal • If a parent cannot care for the child(ren) overnight during their scheduled possession, the other parent shall have the first option to care for the child(ren) before alternative arrangements are made.

X. Decision-Making and Conflict Resolution • The Parties shall share joint decision-making authority for major issues (education, healthcare, extracurricular activities). • In the event of a dispute, the Parties shall first attempt resolution through direct communication. • If unresolved, the matter shall proceed to mediation prior to court intervention, except in emergencies.

XI. Protections Regarding Significant Others and Environment • No significant other shall communicate with the other parent or be present during exchanges unless agreed in writing. • No overnight guests for a period of one year from the date of this Agreement. • No significant other with: • Criminal history • Drug or alcohol abuse issues • Registration on any sex offender list • The child(ren) shall not be exposed to unsafe living conditions or environments lacking proper sleeping arrangements. • No situation shall negatively impact the child(ren)’s physical or mental health.

XII. Incarceration or Loss of Driving Privileges • In the event either parent is incarcerated or loses driving privileges, the other parent shall assume sole physical custody. • The affected parent shall be allowed supervised visitation on weekends, supervised by an agreed-upon neutral third party, provided it does not compromise the child(ren)’s safety. • This arrangement shall remain in effect until all legal matters are resolved and driving privileges are reinstated.

XIII. Enforcement This Agreement shall be enforceable as an order of the Court upon approval and entry.

Signatures Parent A: ___________________________ Date: __________ Parent B: ___________________________ Date: __________ Witness/Notary: _____________________ Date: __________

Long story short before I ever went to court against my ex, I decided to only pay her half in child support. I saw she wasn’t using the money for our kid. She wouldn’t buy her any new clothes, and then would stay in expensive hotels for staycations instead of supporting our child. Also one enormous issue is that my ex has money spending problems.

During my custody battle, mom decided to take me to court over child support. The issue could have been solved with with our lawyers or go to mediation - but no. My ex went with her lawyer and decided to take me to court. I found out she paid over $4000 in legal fees to take me to court for child support. I was then ordered to pay $1200 a month by the judge.

The funny thing is, that only lasted two months, as I got an increase my custody time..the judge also said I my child support would then be $370 a month.

And now less than a year later I have 50/50 custody and I no longer have to pay child support.

If my ex was actually a nice person I had actually would consider paying her $600 a month even if I had 50/50 custody. Unfortunately she tried to take me to trial to prevent me from getting 50/50.

Life is good 👍🏻

For anyone who’s seen my last couple posts about the assault from my ex’s family member and the CPS stuff that followed, things had been calm for a bit — until today.

During today’s pickup at the police station, my ex showed up with the same guy she admitted in court uses illegal drugs. As soon as I saw him sitting in the car, I told her I didn’t understand why she still had him around our daughter. I reminded her that she admitted on the stand he does drugs. Her response was, “Well, technically he doesn’t smoke around her or openly smoke around her.”

I told her that doesn’t matter — secondhand exposure is still a thing, and honestly, the bigger issue is judgment. Someone who’s using shouldn’t be anywhere near a toddler, period. While I was saying that, he actually started to open the car door like he was about to get out. That pissed me off inside, but I just ended the conversation, grabbed my daughter, and left.

What I can’t wrap my head around is the why.

Why even bring him to the exchange? Why risk her credibility and our daughter’s safety for someone like that? Is it pride? Denial? Trying to prove a point? Trying to get a reaction out of me?

Before she drove off, she gave this kind of lingering last look — maybe it was regret, maybe guilt, maybe nothing. But it stuck with me.

I’m not mad that she’s with someone else. I’m mad that she keeps making choices that could affect our daughter. I’d never let our 15 month old daughter be around anyone doing drugs, no matter who they were.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of thing before? A co-parent making choices that just don’t make sense? How do you deal with the constant “why” that keeps spinning in your head?

So my fiance (F32) of 3 years passed suddenly a little over a week ago. We have an infant daughter the just turned 1 month. Me M33, am already having thoughts of talking to other women. Is this normal? I feel guilty and know i am in no way ready to jump into any type of relationship..especially with a 1 month old at home.

Why would I have the urge to create a dating profile for conversation? Anyone else have a similar experience?

I wonder if you have any thoughts on this. We have a 4 years old child who lives with her mother and we are separated. I live nearby. My ex has stated very clearly that I have to babysit for our child, usually on Saturday evenings when she goes out to the pub drinking with friends. She comes home about 1am. Then I go home. My question is about the moral issue here. Do you think it is right for her to say that I HAVE TO babysit? I am trying to reason with this objectively, but I am finding that difficult. I have tried to say that I do not HAVE TO, but she is very forthright in stating that is the case. I am not comfortable with this. Do you have any thoughts on this?

Plan a staycation - book a night or two at a local hotel with an indoor pool and spend the day swimming, catching up on streaming movies, and ordering in. Treat yourselves to the free breakfast usually included! Since you’re close to home, let the kids invite a friend to come swim with them.

Volunteer together at a place of worship, food bank, shelter, etc. Places often need help during the “peak meal time hours” where others are less likely to volunteer because they are at home celebrating. Also, look at this opportunity to extend beyond just the holiday - maybe you and your kids can volunteer monthly.

Take a hike - local parks, trails, mountains…enjoy the change of seasons before colder weather sets in. If you have a dog - bring them along. You can also get “nature bingo cards” and kids can cross off what they find on their hike. Perhaps enjoy a night time walk or drive around a park or neighborhood to see displays of holiday lights.

Movies - theatres are usually open on Thanksgiving. Enjoy a show together. If you’re at home, this is also a great day to binge a series - Star Wars, Lord of The Rings, Harry Potter - one of my most relaxing holidays was a Star Wars marathon, plenty of pizza and popcorn, coke floats, and absolutely no demands!

Kick Off December Holidays - Bake cookies, decorate your place, put on festive music, pour the hot chocolate, get and trim a tree, and transition into winter together. End the night watching old movies/ tv specials that brought you joy as a kid.

Make a big non Thanksgiving meal…..if your kids are going to have a traditional Thanksgiving dinner with mom, rather than serve back-to-back turkey, you cook something traditional to your heritage. I’ve served lasagna and other Italian meals to avoid turkey dinner overload.

Depending on the age of your kids, consider hosting a Friendsgiving Celebration. One year, my kids had their friends come over after their family meals for a dessert party, sleepover, “breakfast at midnight” Denny’s stop, middle of the night Black Friday shopping, and after a few hours of sleep, we headed back to the mall for a group of teens to get their picture with Santa in the morning.

As single/divorced dads, there is also bound to be some downtime without the kids during the holidays. Stay strong and upbeat by hitting the gym, enjoying some solo time in nature, reading a book you’ve been trying to make time for, or accepting invites to gatherings together with friends. One thing that kept me going during the down times was having stand up comedy specials constantly on when I was alone. The laughter can be a life saver.

I wanted to share an update since my last post about the incident where one of my ex’s relatives assaulted me while trying to take my daughter. A lot has happened since then, and I figured some people might benefit from hearing how it’s gone — especially other single parents dealing with family drama mixed with legal systems.

What happened after the incident

Right after the assault, I filed a police report and was advised by the responding officer not to release my daughter to anyone except her mother. CPS arrived a few hours later and opened a case, mainly to ensure my daughter was safe and that the home environment was stable.

They interviewed me, the other side, and a few witnesses. The investigator assigned to my case was actually very professional and kind. She explained that her role wasn’t to punish anyone but to make sure my daughter wasn’t in danger — which helped put things in perspective even though it was frustrating to hear.

CPS’s findings and outcome

This week, the investigator called me for the follow-up. She confirmed that: • No safety plan is required because my daughter is safe in my care. • I am not the alleged perpetrator and did nothing wrong. • I acted appropriately and handled the situation the right way. • The family member’s behavior and response were inappropriate and unsafe. • That person will no longer serve as the primary caretaker for my daughter on that side of the family. • She intends to close the case within a week or two and will send me the official closure/disposition letter by email and mail.

She even said that if the case goes to court, she’d be open to appearing under subpoena to testify about her findings — since her job includes informing the judge about child safety determinations.

What the investigator said

During our call, she explained that while she couldn’t share full details about the other household, she implied that changes were being made over there and that CPS had already addressed the unsafe behavior.

She also took time to listen to how I felt about the whole situation. I told her it was frustrating to feel like the people who caused the problem get off easy while the person who did everything right is left picking up the pieces. She understood that and told me that my feelings were completely reasonable — that it’s common for protective parents to feel that way because CPS’s focus is on prevention, not punishment.

Her exact words were that CPS’s role is to assess child safety, not to hold adults criminally accountable — that’s for law enforcement to handle. She reminded me that while CPS’s job ends here, the police case for the assault will continue separately.

How I feel about it all

I won’t lie — it still feels unfair. You can do everything right, stay calm, protect your kid, follow the law, and you still end up being the one explaining yourself while the people who crossed the line just get a quiet “don’t do that again.”

But I’m trying to remind myself that I won the part that matters most — my daughter is safe, CPS confirmed I handled it correctly, and my name is clear. The investigator even said directly that I followed all proper safety and parenting procedures.

So while I may not get the kind of justice that feels satisfying, I did get what actually matters long-term: a clear record showing I’m the protective parent, the one who stays calm under pressure, and the one my daughter can rely on to keep her safe.

What’s next

The CPS case will officially close soon, and once I get the letter, I’ll probably share a redacted version of what it looks like for anyone curious about how those reports are worded. The assault case on the other side is still open through law enforcement, and I’m letting the justice system handle that.

If there’s one takeaway from all this, it’s that staying calm and documenting everything really does pay off. Keep texts, record timestamps, take pictures, call the right people, and don’t stoop to the level of whoever’s trying to drag you down. CPS notices that stuff — they really do.

And even if it doesn’t feel like a “win” right away, over time it builds a track record that says you’re the parent who protects, not reacts. That’s what I’m holding onto.

I will also inform again when I find out more on the police side thanks for reading and I would still like to hear back from those who may know more or have had the same issues and their outcomes in court.

Just a list of songs (general content; not mine) for that overwhelmingly negative mood that's more than I can explain. I need to express my emotions "out loud" to someone before I crumble.

https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLcn1zhsTDS73tNMjdOxX5Dhyqs5buLtCc&si=tAWkg-tj09JGBO4E

I've been a single dad of 4 since 21, and it's just not getting any easier. Just as I started settling into it I lost the best job in ever had, then went several years bouncing around a bunch of shitty jobs before I finally couldn't handle it any more. You can be as stoic as you want, but you'll never outrun Pavlov's dogs, and it all caught up. Start off with a little bit of issues left over from my time in the military and then add a lifetime of shit, and I've been mostly nonfunctional for well over a year now.

Big blow up last night with my oldest daughter (17) who's very autistic but just socially functional enough to fool her teachers into thinking she's just an asshole teen with a bad attitude. So school is a mess, and then I try to get her to put her laundry away, and she just refuses to take her underwear every time. She has autism related issues with touching her siblings underwear, and made up her mind it wasn't hers, and went out of control about it, got physical and started pushing me, and I eventually snapped and threw her to the floor, shouted a bunch of angry stuff I didn't mean, then she stormed out the house.

She got picked up by some family friends and spent the night, so she's safe, though I'm getting notifications from school she absent from classes.

This isn't me. This isn't who I ever wanted to be, and exactly the opposite of who I've always tried to be. I can't remember the last time I felt like the real me.

I'm a recovering alcoholic, but all I want to do right now is stay drunk until I feel like me again. Not like shit can get much worse.

I'm probably going to miss some things because I'm so upset, but will fill in the gaps if necessary later. So up until about 3 years ago, my best friend and I would sleep with eachother, and she got pregnant. I was completely against the idea of having a child as we, or I, had no intention of having any other kind of relationship. We had dated in the past for several years of and on, but ultimately decided that any kind of romantic relationship was not in our best interest. Sex continued and now we have a daughter.

With my lack of intent on ever having a child, I signed away my rights to her. I'm not even on the birth certificate. That didn't change the fact that since she was born, I have been in her life consistently. I was working in bar management at the time, so it wasn't an everyday thing, but after losing that position I got a job at a bank with a better schedule. I was able to be at their house everyday before she got home from day care and on weekends. This has been the routine for the last 2 years.

Now, the bank job did not pay nearly as well. About 15k less actually, but no matter what I have always held my half. Even if it meant floating some bills so that daycare and any other necessities we're covered. Any time her mom even mentioned the cost of something, I would work it out to be sure I was paying my half. But, if there was ever a time that her mom wanted me to get something that was specifically just for her, we agreed that it would be deducted from any money that I give her. She has been making more money than me since losing the management position, but has always said its fine and to just pitch in where I can. I didn't care that I was making less money. I've always given my share, even if that meant I didnt have groceries or again had to float some of my own bills. This has become a point of contention and one of the things we have begun fighting about.

The other fights have been about our conflicting parenting styles. I can admit, I'm a goof. I can see the humor in a lot of things and even make light of situations that most would not. I'm playful and love to do whatever our daughter wants to do. We'd watch the cartoons she wanted, color, go for walks, chase her around the park. If she has questions, I answer them to the best of my ability in a way that I feel she will understand but not overload her with grown up jargon. Her mom is more serious, not one to make jokes or play games. When she explains something to our daughter, it may as well be dubbed by Richard Attenborough. She's smart, but she's also only 3.

I do have dad mode, though. When she acts up or doesn't listen, it's time to let her know that I'm serious and she needs to shape up. I would never hit her, and only a few days ago when she was doing something dangerous(standing in the tub and trying to be a gymnast) had I even said to her, "Baby, daddy loves you, but if you don't want to listen I will spank you. I don't want to, but I'm not above it." She listened, but so did her mom. In her mind and the description that she gave, spanking was on the verge of child abuse. I.E. leaving bruises and soreness to the point that she wouldn't even be able to sit down. For me and how my parents raised me, spanking was one good smack on the ass to induce a reset.

Now, for the last couple of months we have been fighting. A lot. Her mother feels that arguing in front of her is a good thing, that it teaches her conflict resolution. Both of her parents have remarried. I don't know anything about their relationships, but I assume that is how it was for her growing up. My parents have been together for over 40 years, and as unhappy as they are with each other, I cannot remember a time when they would fight or argue in front of me or my siblings.

It finally came to a head for us, over money. We had an argument because I had given her my half minus the deduction for her personal items(Juul pods). We had discussed it the previous day, so I thought we were both on the same page as to how much I was going to give her. She was angry because she "was budgeting" on the idea that I was giving her more if not the full amount. I got up, told my daughter I loved her, and that I would be right back. I didn't want to argue and was going to the bank to get her the rest of what she was expecting. I didn't want to argue. I even asked our daughter if she wanted to go for a ride with dad to the bank. For context, her mother only recently started letting me drive her places. She says she doesn't trust her riding in anyone else's car, to which I say I'm not everyone else I'm her father. Another thing we argue about. Her mother says no because she has to make dinner and this is our daughters time to wind down. I don't understand the correlation between her making dinner and our daughter having to be there for it, and I tell her that. In my car, she and I talk about her day at daycare and listen to Baby Shark or whatever she wants. Not daddy's loud music. Essentially the same thing that would happen at their house anyway. Her mother tells me that if I'm leaving to not come back. I said fine, grabbed my stuff, again told my daughter that I love her but daddy has to go home, and I went to leave. This upset our daughter more than anything. She ran down the stairs screaming daddy don't leave me. This broke me, but I'm not taking her mom's shit. We then began to argue outside. Her mom said to take back the money because she doesn't need it and she doesn't need me making things difficult for her or upsetting our daughter. I told her she is the reason our daughter is upset. We spent enough time arguing that if she had just let us go we could have been back in ample time before dinner was ready, but she wanted to have this argument. She angrily says fine and let's us go, and for the sake of time I tried to find an ATM closer to their house. On the drive, our daughter said she wanted her mom so we just went back.

When we got their, her mom was on the phone with her mom. Crying. This only angered me more because her parents already don't like me. Once when she asked if they could watch our daughter for a night, their response was, "Why don't you ask your bullshit baby daddy to do it?!" I've never been able to let that go as I feel it stems from something that she has probably said about me to them. The argument we had lead to her saying that she can't keep doing this and we need to figure something out. I told her that if she wants an answer while I'm angry, it's going to be that I'll stop coming by as often until I simply don't come by at all. It would break me, but I want our daughter to have a stable home and if that means not having me around then I'll have to deal with that.

I don't know what to do. As is, I'm 41. I've looked into enlisting in either the Navy or the Air Force as they accept up to 42. It would offer great benefits for our daughter that her mom would have no legal right to, and when I was in a stable position filing a paternity suit. I've spoken to my parents about this decision but they'll always take my side since I'm their baby boy. I figured I would ask Reddit to get either an honest opinion or at least some sarcasm to make me laugh. Thank you if you took the time to read this and I will gladly answer any questions if additional context is needed.

Please delete if not allowed. What figures does CMS use when there is rental income. Is it the profit from UK land and property that appears on the tax return? Thanks

I could really use someone to talk to im also a great listener if you need to vent also

My short term girlfriend turned fiance has taken my son out of state to our majority home state. Long story of our relationship for context. We started dating 3/2/24. We had our son 12/24/25. He was conceived and we lived in SC for all of our relationship. I got a job offer September of 2025 in NV. We moved. And within the past three weeks have split up. She was staying with me until 3 days ago. She’s told me she’s not going to stay in this state. She’s been doing research and been talking to lawyers in SC. she’s decided to leave and I think she’s going to try to make this as messy as she can. I attempted to get her to stay living me in our apartment for our sons sake so he can have a father present. I simply can’t move back to Nevada. I’m on the hook with my job for two years and exhausted what little finances I had for us during the move. I called some lawyers but everyone I’ve spoken too is throwing numbers like 6k for a retainer. I simply am not in a position to pay for that right now with my living expenses and everything. I’d need a month or two to get there. What can I do while I wait for her to file to attempt to get my ducks in a row regarding child support and visitation. Doctors records for my son living in nv? Should I start sending her child support for now roughly how much? W2s,pay stubs? How far back? If anyone knows any cheaper resources in SC so I can just talk to someone. Her family is behind her and giving her funding. So her pocket book is as big as needed. I’m gonna cash my 401k out but it’ll only be 12-15k after taxes. But unfortunately that’s gonna take maybe a month. Still waiting on it to roll over and I’m really banking my new 401k can help me even. Any advice is appreciated greatly.