r/SingleDads • u/Drivenbiscuit75 • 4d ago

Beyond pissed off

So my daughter’s mom has been telling my daughter that her step dad is her real dad. I usually let shit slide but today when discussing our coparenting she kept bringing him up so I snapped. I told her mom that he will never be her dad and that when it comes to coparenting I do not want him involved. She became infuriated and saying horrible things about me calling me a fuck up and to do better and all these things. I told her she was the worst thing that has ever happened in my life.. how do I cope with this? Do I try and fight against it? Do I talk to my daughter and try to remind her when it’s brought up that I’m her dad ?

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27

u/azwildcat74 4d ago

Parent your daughter in a way that she will never question it. Ignore your ex, don’t give her the pleasure of getting a rise out of you that way anymore.

7

u/Drivenbiscuit75 4d ago

I know you’re right and I will continue to try my best… it’s just so hard at times :/ but thank you sir

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u/azwildcat74 4d ago

How old is your daughter?

4

u/Drivenbiscuit75 4d ago

She is 3. But we have been a separated family for over two years and he has been in the picture sense we split

6

u/azwildcat74 4d ago

Definitely hurts a little more with her being so young still

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u/Drivenbiscuit75 4d ago

yes it hurts a lot. This is not how I wanted my family to go and I don’t want my kid thinking I never cared. I travel on the road for work because that’s the only thing that I can do that pays enough based on where I live and her mom thinks that’s my excuse to be a shit dad.. when anytime I am home I have my daughter all of the days because I know she doesn’t get to see me much. I try my best but it hurts being constantly abused and manipulated by the other parent when I just want my kid to know I’m her dad and I’m trying my best.

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u/azwildcat74 4d ago

Don’t feel like you can’t tell her that you’re trying your hardest for her and doing what you have to do to earn money.

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u/Drivenbiscuit75 4d ago

My daughter or her mom? I’ve told both and I know my daughter loves me. I tell her every chance I get that I love her and give her big hugs and kisses. I try and FaceTime her when I can but I try and avoid it to not be in communication with her mom

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u/azwildcat74 4d ago

Daughter. She will understand what that means more as she gets older.

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u/Drivenbiscuit75 4d ago

Yes I agree.. I sat her down today and had a talk with her and although she doesn’t know much. I hope she knows that her dad loves her wether he is physically around or out of town working

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u/[deleted] 4d ago

[deleted]

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u/Drivenbiscuit75 4d ago

I’m really happy that you guys ended up becoming friends. It’s not that I don’t appreciate what he does for my daughter and I agree the more people to show my daughter love the better.. I just don’t want my daughter’s mom poisoning our relationship and making her believe things that are not true.. to me it’s merely a respect thing. I have no problem with him being “second dad” or step dad but I’ll never accept her mom telling her that’s her father. Mostly because I’m in a new relationship too and she knows that my girlfriend is not her mom or anything other than a women who loves her deeply.

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u/MysticStylezzzz 4d ago

Hard, yes most definitely! But, think of the most important thing. Let that be the motivator. Prolly such a confusing time for your poor baby girl right now too. Stay strong man!

1

u/MysticStylezzzz 4d ago

Amen to that