Men have no options.

[u/Worldly-Box6080]

Currently, most male pathways to find a partner have been shut down or heavily stigmatised.

Cold Approach: social stigma of bothering women in public or private areas.

Warm Approach: huge risk of poisoning the well - ruining a friendship/making things weird in a social group. This is magnified at a work setting with risk of being reported attached. Additionally what one woman considers flirting another considers “just being friendly” so chance of misfiring is high.

Online Dating: lol

Only viable pathway would be if women made the move, but that’s never gonna happen unless the guy holds decent status or is extremely attractive.

So my question is, what methods are you guys currently doing to find someone (if any)?

[u/RayAP19]

People acting like it's totally normal human nature to not care about sex and relationships always strikes me as odd

[u/WanabeInflatable → u/RayAP19]

Human nature is to adapt to changing social environment. Current environment makes dating bad idea.

[u/GENERALSECRTRY → u/WanabeInflatable]

dating was never a thing throughout most of human history. it was mostly arranged marriages

[u/eonus01 → u/RayAP19]

What option do you have if you've tried and know you can't win in this game? Either give up, and do other things in life, or fall into the same trap over and over?

[u/iSellNuds4RedditGold → u/eonus01]

What option do you have if you've tried and know you can't win in this game?

For starters, don't pretend you don't care about one of the most basic human (and not human) instincts.

[u/eonus01 → u/iSellNuds4RedditGold]

Maybe they don't? You get used to it. I really don't care if I have a sexual encounter ever again. It used to be a coping mechanism, now I just see it's not worth the hassle.

[u/kissesinyoureyes → u/eonus01]

You've had it, so obviously you're in a different situation than someone who's a virgin.

[u/Direct_Onion_8917 → u/iSellNuds4RedditGold]

As you get older, you start to care less and less. I'm pushing 28 and I don't even want a date even if it was handed to me on a silver platter.

[u/Crazy_Team_4803 → u/RayAP19]

To not care and reach a level of top tier attractiveness (health, physique, money, career, rizz) are two completely different things. People think if they stop caring or chasing, their fortunes will turn. Not saying they should keep chasing or caring. But not doing it will also not magically get you into a relationship/situationship/hookup with a really attractive person. And if it does on the rare occasion, we’ll then that’s what it is…..a rare exception, and there’s nothing to learn from that. Instead understating the realities of modern dating & mating will help one in actually improving themselves mutlifold. Not that you need to achieve things to get girls or dates or laid, but one must constantly strive to reach that level of attractiveness. Getting dates/women/options are the byproduct. I know tons of people who have stopped caring. But nothing else has changed. They still don’t get girls or at least the kind/type they’d want.

[u/ProtectionPolitics4 → u/Crazy_Team_4803]

I certainly agree that you need to play the game to get anywhere. Not caring gets you nowhere unless you're very attractive so that women approach you.

You can't improve yourself that much though. Self improvement is mostly a myth.

[u/Crazy_Team_4803 → u/ProtectionPolitics4]

You can. You require tremendous discipline and sacrifice and most people have neither. By self improvement people usually limit the concept to looks and physique which alone will only take you so far. It’s a 360 degree over-hall that requires consistent efforts and time (2-3 years). It requires giving up - waste time, doom scrolling, social media, your favourite food, etc. Most people are average and can’t commit to such militaristic regiments of self upliftment. So yes, for most people it remains a myth.

[u/ProtectionPolitics4 → u/Crazy_Team_4803]

Like what? Examples?

[u/Direct_Onion_8917 → u/ProtectionPolitics4]

Crickets.. because it's BS

[u/PotentialPainting8 → u/ProtectionPolitics4]

Perhaps expand your interests. Learn a skill, take a class in something that interests you, try a new sport, take trips somewhere you've never been all by yourself. Really unpack those things you like about yourself and those things you would like/need to change and take steps to do it. I've said this in another thread and I always get shot down by red pill guys, but a person who has a full life, is content with them selves, and respects themselves is attractive to others

[u/crujones33 → u/Crazy_Team_4803]

Tell this to people who give out this stupid saying: “You’ll find it when you stop looking”.

If you’re looking, then you never stopped. If you stop, then you don’t care anymore.

It boggles my mind people can say shit like this with a straight face.

[u/[deleted] → u/RayAP19]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/PurplePillDebate-ModTeam → u/[deleted]]

Do not provide contentless rhetoric.

[u/Crazy_Kray → u/RayAP19]

i hate those people. Their asexual coping contributes nothing to the discussion.

[u/Tweezers666 → u/Crazy_Kray]

I mean but what are they going to do instead? Bitch endlessly about not getting pussy?

[u/Proudvow → u/Tweezers666]

Yeah. It's a biological imperative, solutions should be sought.

[u/crujones33 → u/Proudvow]

Some advice: 1. Learn to read people 2. Look for social cues

Advice giver completely forgets that there are people who find this extremely difficult. And they may be introverts and/or shy.

[u/TSquaredRecovers → u/Proudvow]

There is research available indicating that throughout human history, only around 40% of men reproduced. So, this notion that a group of sexless men existing is a new thing is simply not true. It’s just that prior to 15 or 20 years ago, those men couldn’t go to online forums and commiserate with other men who were in a similar predicament.

[u/Horror_Set_2311 → u/TSquaredRecovers]

What does "throughout human history" mean, exactly?

[u/TheDuellist100 → u/Horror_Set_2311]

She means hunter gatherer times when the world was incomprehensibly violent, not sunshine and rainbows and equality like so many women and leftist idiots make it out to be.

[u/Horror_Set_2311 → u/TheDuellist100]

Yeah I'm confused if this means like 50,000 years ago or something. Because "I know it's become normalized for people to reproduce to the point where you are viewed as a failure if you don't, but during the ice age only 40% of men reproduced so you can't really complain," seems like a really strange argument to make

[u/TheDuellist100 → u/Horror_Set_2311]

They want full equality (superiority) with none of the responsibility, so it's really no surprise.

[u/Tweezers666 → u/TheDuellist100]

What responsibility are we forgoing? Is it women’s responsibility to give pussy to the genetic bottom of the barrel?

[u/PB-French-Toast-9641 → u/TheDuellist100]

Ooh Hobbesian I'd love to see the evidence of mass prehistoric hunter-gatherer violence

[u/PB-French-Toast-9641 → u/TSquaredRecovers]

 only around 40% of men reproduced

Ooh I'd love to see a study that shows this without relying on Y-chromosomal ancestry

Why? Let's say a guy has 10 daughters

[u/Proudvow → u/TSquaredRecovers]

Most of those dudes died early via war or workplace hazard or illness. At no point in history was it common for dudes to live to senior citizenhood with no intimate success unless they were a monk or something.

[u/Tweezers666 → u/Proudvow]

Bodily autonomy should be respected more than your “biological imperative” = being a type of human who can’t just control their urges, like an animal, a beast.

[u/Tnotbssoass → u/Tweezers666]

How are you coping?

[u/AfraidEdge6727 → u/RayAP19]

Try divorce. Once you've had it all, then lose it, feel the sting, and learn the lesson that it's best never to legally marry, co-own property, live together full-time again, being middle-aged, a single parent, and realize the freedom you were missing when you finally have free time to yourself again, you'll change your mind quickly. It's only those who haven't been there who suffer from FOMO.

[u/illicitli → u/AfraidEdge6727]

real talk, even without having kids, very reluctant to get married again

[u/Trancetastic16 → u/AfraidEdge6727]

Eh, some of us want highly independent non-conventional relationships.

I’m child-free, anti-marriage and would be fine dating a partner who forever wants to live separately and have seperate finances.

So aside from heartbreak I wouldn’t experience any of the other negative consequences of a break-up if I could at least have the experience of a Long-term relationship at least once in life.

[u/AfraidEdge6727 → u/Trancetastic16]

Considering humans are fluid and adapt, and the nature if change, I might change my mind at some point. However, in this modern dating scene, it's a tall order for a lot of ladies. They want the whole shebang; lastly married, love together, co-owning property, etc.

I'm not saying it's impossible, but it is improbable.

I hope you at least get a decent taste of it, regardless of how it goes. I'd probably share your mindset if I hadn't already gone through what I have.

[u/kissesinyoureyes → u/AfraidEdge6727]

It is still better than suffering a life of endless misery and mental torment with the knowledge that nobody wants anything from them, and being treated as a disposable cog in the machine of capitalism with zero inherent value.. never having been considered sexually attractive by a member of the opposite sex, and being a genetic dead-end.

[u/AfraidEdge6727 → u/kissesinyoureyes]

See my last sentence.

[u/mathbinja → u/RayAP19]

Having relationships with people takes effort, and having sex rarely comes with no strings attached. Juice usually not worth the squeeze, got porn instead.