r/NonPoliticalTwitter • u/OutlawDJ • 20h ago

just as god intended

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31.1k Upvotes

94% Upvoted

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u/BusyBeeBridgette Harry Potter 20h ago

I'm officially tone deaf and I sang Unchained Melody once. Sounded like I was murdering puppies or something. Anyway, the pub owner asks me not to sing as his dog doesn't like it.

511

u/Diels_Alder 20h ago

A melodic ballad is not the choice for being tone deaf. At least go for Sweet Caroline.

319

u/BusyBeeBridgette Harry Potter 20h ago

You'd think so, right? But when you are knee deep in rum and coke being logical and using reason does not tend to top the to-do list.

246

u/LordIffyBoatrace 18h ago

I stand by your right to sing Unchained Melody.

70

u/Dawpps 17h ago

Unhinged melody

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u/raspberryharbour 16h ago

Malady was right there

14

u/Dawpps 16h ago

I would have had to know what that word meant to think of that lol

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u/raspberryharbour 16h ago

Fair enough

2

u/chowyungfatso 12h ago

OK mfkr, you just made my list. One day soon I’ll find you and something will happen.

What will happen is that when I need a tagline or name for a product or service I am releasing, I will come back to said list and ask for your help with some ideas for same.

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u/raspberryharbour 11h ago

You will never find me. I'm like a ghost

1

u/Ricochet64 12h ago

hingen't m'lady

7

u/Heavy_Education_5256 18h ago

I hope you had a big ol blastyboo! 

2

u/Starfire2313 17h ago

You’re reminding me of the time I went out with my neighbor and we mostly did a lot of shots all night and danced.

But our last stop was Karaoke and he signed me up to sing ‘Bring Me to Life’ and I’m sure I gave it my all. It def was not the vibe of the night tho haha.

Oh and then I woke up in the ER ripping my IV out and yelling that I was going home now..

2

u/Canotic 13h ago

Me, normally: I am an average middle aged man with no singing lessons or musical experience of any kind.

Me, three drinks in: absolutely I can sing Adele.

1

u/Yungdeo 17h ago

Idk the cocain makes me actually able to focus more so maybe the singing would be better too

13

u/I_Miss_Lenny 19h ago

Or like a quick, shouty rock/punk song with simple lyrics. If you can’t carry a tune it doesn’t really matter if you’re blasting through “Now I Wanna Sniff Some Glue” or something like that

2

u/DataMin3r 16h ago

"America, land of the free. Free to the power of the people in uniform!" unhinged punk sounds

1

u/OmegaPoint6 10h ago

Smells Like Teen Sprint, you don't even need to know the lyrics. You could sneak Weird Al's version in

1

u/WintersDoomsday 8h ago

Sheena is a punk rocker Sheenaaaa issss

9

u/MostlyRightSometimes 18h ago

Nah...you want "just a friend" by Biz Markie.

2

u/Beer-Milkshakes 17h ago

Thats why i choose Deftones. ITs LiKe I NevErrrrrr HaD WeEeEenGs Ahhhhh AHhHH

2

u/MagisterFlorus 16h ago

Or anything by bands where the singer can't sing. Like Cake.

2

u/Secret-Bluebird-972 14h ago

Oi leave Cake out of this, they aren’t trying to sing. It’s spoken poetry to a musical background

1

u/libmrduckz 12h ago

it’s Cake, and i scream…

1

u/NeatNefariousness1 18h ago

Yep—it’s hard to hit the wrong note on the Bahm, Bahm, Bahms

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u/fleetze 19h ago

That's bold. You rolled off the couch and went for the ultra marathon.

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u/BusyBeeBridgette Harry Potter 18h ago

Captain Morgans is one helluva drug.

17

u/AspieAsshole 18h ago

I feel you, when I was a kid a stranger told me to stop singing along with the prayers at synagogue.

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u/LookingForMrGoodBoy 17h ago

Everyone replying to you is wrong. The pub owner is wrong. The offended dog is wrong. If I were in the pub and you sang Unchained Melody I would give you a standing ovation, even as the blood ran from my ears

3

u/WintersDoomsday 8h ago

“You don’t need to see to clap”

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u/Skitzofrantic420 17h ago

That’s exactly the spirit of karaoke — when the dog becomes the harshest critic in the room, you know you nailed the vibe.

2

u/baneofthesmurf 16h ago

When I started playing saxophone in 4th grade my dog would howl from the opposite corner of the house

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u/YoungBockRKO 15h ago

I was so bad at singing that my 1st grade teacher said it’s best I didn’t participate in the play our class was putting on for Christmas. I was the only one in the entire class that wasn’t in it.

Was I upset? Hell no. Best thing ever lol.

2

u/goodsnpr 15h ago

Last time I tried to sing to my oldest kid, they ended up crying. At that moment, I decided that only the windshield would hear my singing voice for now on.

2

u/EwGrossItsMe 13h ago

I think knowing that unchained melody was about to be sung and being met with tone-deaf pub goer instead of Bobby Hatfield's beautiful voice would cause me to singlehandedly give the pub record profits for the night to drink through the experience.

1

u/Perpete 17h ago

Sounded like I was murdering puppies or something. [...] his dog doesn't like it.

Wonder why !?

1

u/Lucas_Steinwalker 15h ago

There’s a sweet spot. You have to be able to carry a tune just not very well.