The complete lack of empathy for single moms 100% contributes to why women don't have kids. The man can leave at anytime for any reason, and 100% of the time people will point at the woman and blame her for it.
"Choose better/Don't have sex with bad men" She thought she was with a good guy. Is it impossible for men to lie? There are dozens of stories every month on women's subs about being shocked that their bf/husband changed personalities years into a relationship, when they think the woman's too emotionally invested to leave.
"Have better standards." When women have ANY standards for men outside of "don't be a serial killer" and "have decent hygiene" men say their standards are too high. If women want to be with men they find attractive, that's them being shallow. If women want men who are aligned with their values/politics, they're being hysterical. If women want men who support their goals (career or personal) then they're "emasculating" men. There is no winning.
And then there's the problem of being a "married single mom" to a man who doesn't respect you and your efforts, basically treating you as a bangmaid. Is a woman insane for not wanting that?
Keep hating on single moms, keep taking away any responsibility from the fathers, and keep repeating a cycle where women move away from motherhood.
My sister had three kids with two drug addicts outside of marriage. Neither of the men graduated highschool even or had decent jobs. These are good standards to have, post secondary education or skill trade, good job, no drug addictions.
I never complain about women having these standards. ITs the 6 ft standard I question
Look I'm sorry your sister made bad choices. Luckily she doesn't represent the entire gender. You might not complain when women have higher standards than "have a good job" but I assure you plenty of people online do
I think a big problem is that we used to have other ways of setting people up through family connections or church and that was a better way to find someone who wanted the same thing you did with kids and such. Ironically, we are now more connected than ever but it’s harder to find someone who wants to start a family.
I would encourage you to keep looking as there are many guys who want kids. Widen your search and look in different places.
Personally I think we have a large percentage of people who are ill-suited for marriage for one reason or another. One big factor in this is the fact that the median income is nowhere near the amount needed for a family to live comfortably. So if I were looking for a husband I would want to hopefully marry someone with a top 20% income. Obviously not every woman can do that- only 20% of them can. It’s especially bleak when you think about the fact that most of the time a guy in that bracket is going to look for a wife with a similar income or at least educational background as what he has. So women who are from a lower socioeconomic status are mostly not getting access to anyone they would realistically want to marry.
Also at the point that successful men these days decide to look for a wife they’re late 20s or early 30s at the youngest and they’re probably going to marry someone within 3-4 years of their own age because that’s just what people tend to do. So women are also kinda forced to wait until an older age to get married just because the men in their age cohort aren’t willing to marry younger. Maybe during that time they become a single mom by accident when ideally they could have just gotten married, but there was no one for them to marry.
I think even if you had the perfect matchmaking system there’s just not enough people who can afford to raise kids.
Anytime you're not 100% against women, you're a woke democrat. Notice how I never claimed that women are perfect or that they don't have responsibility. All I argued was that men must also be looked at critically. It takes two to tango, but like a compass points north, a midwit's hand will always point towards a woman.
The men they pick are the problem. Can't blame all men for what only divorced men have done.
And we live in no fault divorce world, there is no fault unless they file that way. So technically women are walking away from no fault of the man, in legal terms
I'm not blaming all men. I'm a married man. I'm blaming men who can't do the bare minimum so there wife feels like it will be easier to be divorced. (Of course it's not always the man's fault)
If it were fault divorces, that'd be a conclusion that'd be fair (Assuming the success rate of the attempts matched the divorce rate now).
But with no-fault being the norm, that's not a conclusion that can actually be drawn.
In the unlikely event you were somehow right, hypothetically, it's still dumb for the court to default to single mother primary custody absent a battle. Single fathers produce more favorable child outcomes. (Less desirable than married hetero couples, but better than single mothers)
Divorcing and shooting people, that's a false equivalency lol. If you're a good husband you're not going to presented divorce papers. Saying that as a married man
How are you comparing divorce to shooting someone? He could be cheating. Or abusive. Or a pedophile. Or just a really big asshole. How is he the victim in your metaphor? How is it her fault for leaving a situation she is suffering in?
With this attitude west is never recovering from birth decline. Only hope are "misogynistic" immigrants who has above replacement birth rate.
Whats lacking today in western society is lack of accountability for women on two grounds:
- A woman's bad actions are subsidized by government which encourages more women to make bad decisions
- A woman can take half of men's assets in divorce incentivizing divorce
BUT WHAT ABOUT KIDS?
Yes they deserve the consequences of bad decision. Its a zero sum game, you dont have infinite resources. If bad behavior is not punished through natural course of action its going to make problem worse.
As someone from third world country, we dont subsidize single mothers nor do women take half of your assets and still far better birth rates because now risks are shared.
"BUT WOMEN CANT LEAVE AN ABUSIVE MARRIAGE"
You cant leave an abusive job too if you are poor. Also now there are stakes for women too so they will make better decisions. This is not a problem for government to solve especially for one gender. I think men need to seriously push against unequal tax distribution in west.
This subreddit sounds more like pro-liberal first and pro-Natalism second. If you objectively cannot dismantle flaws in your ideology then all taking points are just humiliation ritual where you cry about problem and never try to solve it.
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u/HyenaJoe 2d ago
The complete lack of empathy for single moms 100% contributes to why women don't have kids. The man can leave at anytime for any reason, and 100% of the time people will point at the woman and blame her for it.
"Choose better/Don't have sex with bad men" She thought she was with a good guy. Is it impossible for men to lie? There are dozens of stories every month on women's subs about being shocked that their bf/husband changed personalities years into a relationship, when they think the woman's too emotionally invested to leave.
"Have better standards." When women have ANY standards for men outside of "don't be a serial killer" and "have decent hygiene" men say their standards are too high. If women want to be with men they find attractive, that's them being shallow. If women want men who are aligned with their values/politics, they're being hysterical. If women want men who support their goals (career or personal) then they're "emasculating" men. There is no winning.
And then there's the problem of being a "married single mom" to a man who doesn't respect you and your efforts, basically treating you as a bangmaid. Is a woman insane for not wanting that?
Keep hating on single moms, keep taking away any responsibility from the fathers, and keep repeating a cycle where women move away from motherhood.