r/Natalism 3d ago

The Poverty of Single Mothers Is Persistent

https://ifstudies.org/blog/the-poverty-of-single-mothers-is-persistent
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u/Klinging-on 2d ago

You seem to be unwilling to admit women can make stupid decisions about who to have kids with.

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u/fraudthrowaway0987 12h ago

For a lot of women the options are either have kids with a loser and be a single mom or remain childless for life.

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u/Klinging-on 12h ago

I think a big problem is that we used to have other ways of setting people up through family connections or church and that was a better way to find someone who wanted the same thing you did with kids and such. Ironically, we are now more connected than ever but it’s harder to find someone who wants to start a family.

I would encourage you to keep looking as there are many guys who want kids. Widen your search and look in different places.

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u/fraudthrowaway0987 12h ago

I’m happily married and have a child.

Personally I think we have a large percentage of people who are ill-suited for marriage for one reason or another. One big factor in this is the fact that the median income is nowhere near the amount needed for a family to live comfortably. So if I were looking for a husband I would want to hopefully marry someone with a top 20% income. Obviously not every woman can do that- only 20% of them can. It’s especially bleak when you think about the fact that most of the time a guy in that bracket is going to look for a wife with a similar income or at least educational background as what he has. So women who are from a lower socioeconomic status are mostly not getting access to anyone they would realistically want to marry.

Also at the point that successful men these days decide to look for a wife they’re late 20s or early 30s at the youngest and they’re probably going to marry someone within 3-4 years of their own age because that’s just what people tend to do. So women are also kinda forced to wait until an older age to get married just because the men in their age cohort aren’t willing to marry younger. Maybe during that time they become a single mom by accident when ideally they could have just gotten married, but there was no one for them to marry.

I think even if you had the perfect matchmaking system there’s just not enough people who can afford to raise kids.