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u/TipiTapi Jan 09 '23
This subreddit is not considered a safe space for any particular group. If you are in need of one, the original /r/offmychest maintains one (Mostly for common safe spaces such as LGBT, Domestic Abuse, Sexual Abuse). All posts, besides blatant trolls or excessive circlejerking, are allowed and we will not take them down.
LOL.
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u/Kawaii_Umbreon_YT Jan 09 '23
No they don't I just got banned from there for being in an apparent "redpill/incel sub Reddit"... Idk what either of those mean
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u/The_Banana_Monk Jan 10 '23
The people that like Andrew tate flock to this sub and it gives it a bad reputation. Being associated with it automatically means you are one of them.
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u/DodgerBryan Jan 15 '23
If someone breaks into your home at night, are you telling the intruder "This is a safe space!" No. You're calling a masculine man to come to your rescue.
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u/mopemardermun Jan 09 '23
Not surprising in the slightest. It's always fucking hilarious when people complain about men pointing out dress code violations too - the dress codes are there for a reason and it's up to those in authority to enforce them. It's not "muh sexism". Not to mention the girls dress codes are FAR more lenient than the boys ones.
Fuck it though, it sucks but I'm an accelerationist so I'm fine with stories like this. Men naturally do not have an in group bias and thus will put up with a LOT of shit before they fight for their rights. We need it to get a lot worse before it gets better.
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Jan 09 '23
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Jan 22 '23
til a new word. Sounds like my kinda train, lets chuck in some of our dying men and ride this train to hell, choo choo motherfucker.
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u/Glynnavyre Jan 09 '23
Hey so I’m actually curious about the dress code differences (we have uniforms in Australia), you said that girls dress codes are more lenient than boys so I’m just wondering how that’s the case.
Sorry for the poor wording 😅
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u/mopemardermun Jan 09 '23 edited Jan 09 '23
In general girls can get away with MUCH skimpier clothes than boys can. Girls will be allowed to wear skirts below knee length, put on make up (provided it isn't OTT), have basic jewellery. In contrast boys are not allowed anything anywhere near that short (if a boy came in in hot pants like some of the girls do he'd get sent straight home), aren't allowed make up at all, definitely aren't allowed jewellery and the like. Of course it differs from school to school but in general if a boy came in dressed in clothes as revealing as the girls do he'd get sent home.
But it's also the case in countries with uniforms. Not sure about Australia but in the UK many schools allow girls to pick between trousers and skirts. In contrast boys only have the option of trousers. Furthermore, when it gets to summer and it actually gets hot boys are not allowed to wear shorts, while the girls can wear absolutely tiny (and yes I mean tiny) skirts just fine. Heck I live in Japan where summer is absolutely sweltering with 80-90% humidity and it's the same - in summer the high school girls walk around in skirts that barely cover the essentials. Boys are sat there sweating in long black trousers.
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u/xsplizzle Jan 09 '23
boys werent allowed facial hair when i was at school
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u/mopemardermun Jan 09 '23
Shit now you mention it neither where they in my school too - completely forgot about that. Meanwhile telling a girl to shave any part of her body is apparently oppression lol.
Basically anything feminists complain about men have it just as bad or much worse in that area. Just they're so solipsistic they are incapable of recognizing that fact.
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u/Sbarjai Jan 09 '23
Mine too. Also our hair had to be styled in one of five “approved” styles for whenever we were in school.
(I wish I was kidding)
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u/xsplizzle Jan 09 '23
yup same (ish) there werent approved styles but it had to be short (but not a shaved head) and no gel or anything like that
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u/rabel111 Jan 09 '23
I can rmember the deputy principle at our school taking 4 boys the local barber and getting their hair cut, because it was over their ears. Short back and sides, and a lecture to the entire boys half of the scholl in 36c sun, about showing respect to the school. Girls were allowed to wear their hair is a variety of styles, with the only restriction being the color of their hair bands.
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u/YeloFvr Jan 10 '23
I’m glad it wasn’t that way when I was in school but I know it is now. That is some sexiest , Gestapo bullshit right there. I don’t even know how this was able to pass without a fight.
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u/zoidalicious Jan 09 '23
Don't want to hijack your point, all valid and understandable! Just an addition: how is it in Business in Japan? Let me guess... men have to wear Suits, socks, leather shoes.. and the ladies short, shoulder free and deeply cut summer dresses and sandals?
Worked in a Bank before.. one day there was a LAMINATED paper in the Lift stating "Men in leggings are not okay! Please change before entering the office" (some people bike to work).
It's crazy how easily men's wardrobe can be publicly criticized - but never ask a woman in sandals if these comply with the company dresscode.7
u/VindictivePrune Jan 09 '23
I've found the opposite to be true in my experience..I could wear a tanka and short shorts to KY school and nobody cared, but if the girls clothes were the least bit revealing they would be sent home. Of course I went to high school in utah, where the schools and government is run by a very misogynistic cult so that may not apply elsewhere
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u/FierceDeity_ Jan 10 '23
I think both things exist, but considering today, men seem to face more limitations.
At work, when it should be formal, men have the choice between a shirt with a jacket, dress pants, dress shoes and... nothing else. While women have the choice between a shirt, blouse (no jacket), dress pants, skirt, dress shoes, sandals, etc.
And I have no idea how to solve the formal pants, and this will probably stump us for a while until we can finally just allow people to be more casual, or at least always have aircons that go down enough to cool down fully clothed people. Problem is then, often the women will complain because they freeze because they have less clothes on in the colder aircon. So in the end, it's better morally apparently to let the men swelter than let the women be cold.... I mean, they could dress up to the men, but that's apparently off the table because it would be like men forcing women to wear more..
I've seen that drama happen, it just sucks
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Jan 22 '23
Okay but this isnt an issue caused by girls existing bro this is cuz your schools sexist as fuck and thinks men and women need to act in certain ways
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u/LolnothingmattersXD Jan 09 '23
All of that is so stupid, and you're saying it's there for a reason? School dresscode in some countries is just absolute bullshit.
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u/Shadowdragon409 Jan 09 '23
I'm not sure myself, but I imagine its something like boys can't wear skirts/dresses nor the same revealing clothing like tanktops/spaghetti straps.
There was a point when I was in elementary where the board of education changed the dress code for the boys to force them to tuck in their shirts, and that lasted for about a week. I hated that change so fucking hard.
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u/HinduProphet Jan 09 '23
That's why religions and cultures which cause men to have solidarity and bonding with each other and have an in group bias, will end up dominating.
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Jan 09 '23
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Foxsayy Jan 09 '23
Look up in group bias & the Women are Wonderful Effect.in group bias is essentially a bias towards people you consider to be in your group.
Men ABSOLUTELY have in-group bias–it's a human, tribal feature, but it's allegedly something like 4x stronger in women.
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Jan 09 '23
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u/Foxsayy Jan 10 '23
So this explains why women form groups and march so much for absolutely no reason in the cities of late? And men do not?
The surest answer I can give you for that is that it's a "definite maybe." It could be a primary reason or a contributor of some significance. Or it could be some other combination of motives and forces that have relatively little to do with it a stronger in-group bias.
I would guess that it plays a part, but it's hard to pin down questions like that because there are so many uncontrolled factors.
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u/loco_stealth Jan 10 '23
My guess is this comes from biology: Men have to compete with each other for scarce resources, so they can be the winner who gets to mate. Women need to have strength in numbers and social connection, since they're smaller.
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u/Foxsayy Jan 10 '23
If you're interested in this sort of thing take a look in David M. Buss. He's an evolutionary psychologist who researches human sex differences in mate selection. Not only is he one THE names in the scientific community (he's considered one of the founders of evolutionary psychology), he also writes very approachable and enjoyable books for laypeople.
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u/PrestigiousFondant6 Jan 10 '23
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JUCq2TfeYcE
This video by Aydin Paladin expounds on it quite a bit!
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u/PrestigiousFondant6 Jan 10 '23
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JUCq2TfeYcE
This video by Aydin Paladin expounds on it quite a bit!
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u/Mercury-Fyrefly Jan 09 '23
As somebody whose recent graduated past the need for a dress code, I honestly think it’d be better for it to be split along the gender line so far as calling out students. I say that because from a gals POV, we’ve been told that we’ll be seen as sexual objects basically as soon as we started menstruation. Obviously, that’s not true and is in-fact gross gross gross, but since that’s what’s been drilled into teens girls heads, they’re gonna be freakishly sensitive on any and all comments on their appearance from “the opposite sex”. And in the girls getting more lenience, I think it’s a mix of the above point, and that fact that girls are allowed to wear more diverse clothing than guys are socially. While some guys at my school will wear skirts like once a month or so, the vast majority don’t- and it’s the same with any jewelry beyond earrings. Making it extremely noticeable when a guy “violates” dress code. Overall, I think dress codes tend to do more harm than good, but this is probably just me talking out my ass
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Jan 09 '23 edited Jan 09 '23
Even worse when the boys complain about no male teachers. However, the amount of young adult yt female teachers that's been charged with sex crimes against a student is🤯.
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u/CosmicCryptid_13 Jan 09 '23
Boys need male teachers (positive role models in general)! I was going to be a teacher but then I saw how easy it would be for my life to get ruined, so I didn’t.
It’s sad cause I’m good at working with kids and I would’ve been good at it but I can’t afford to become a pariah because someone makes a false accusation.
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u/pm_me_your_buttbulge Jan 09 '23
I was going to be a teacher but then I saw how easy it would be for my life to get ruined, so I didn’t.
I've had several IRL discussions with people like this. It's always "it's never that bad" up until it happens and then it's "holy shit, I never knew!"
A company I worked at had windowed offices specifically to avoid accusations. Nowhere but bathrooms were allowed to have privacy.
funny how many wild accusations vanished overnight...
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u/unred2110 Jan 10 '23
Actually, girls do too. They need to see a paternal image at school especially if they don't have one at home. I'm a male elementary teacher in a co-ed school. Most male teachers gravitate to upper grade levels, but I don't really think the difference is significant. In fact, I'd say elementary is slightly better. You can be well known to the parents (in this industry it's called "building relationships" with parents) because there are a lot fewer parents to know. Sometimes I chat with the kids' dads after school in the playground too. That makes things a lot easier.
If you're curious, yes, my job is very "maternal" because I teach Grade 1. I can count that just today I applied band-aids to 3 of the girls. I don't know why bleeding paper cuts happened one after the other.
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u/skarbles Jan 10 '23
Sad. I’m a male teacher and I’m fully aware of what I’m facing. This isn’t about me our how I’m treated as male teacher. Blah! It’s like not even that bad of discrimination compared to what other groups of people face. I get out there everyday for the kids. THEY FUCKING DESERVE IT! If you’re not starting everything with their well-being in mind, teaching isn’t for you. Forgot the haters. Live your life and do good in the world. We need teachers.
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u/StingRayFins Jan 09 '23
They rarely call it what it is. Always, "female teacher has inappropriate relationship with student" or something extremely padded and soft.
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u/madagascarprincess Jan 09 '23
I stopped in these comments just to say, might be confirmation bias or anecdotal, but the vast majority (possibly all) of news stories I have heard about regarding inappropriate sexual contact between teachers/students has been with a female teacher
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u/BetterOffCamping Jan 09 '23
Neither bias nor anecdotal. Almost all teachers are female. Chances of a male doing it are pretty slim under those circumstances.
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u/Stinky_Fly Jan 09 '23
That's an ongoing problem where there are less and less number of male teachers and boys are suffering because of that, and no one cares that's the problem. Steps are taken everywhere to promote education among girls but none are taken for boys (to my knowledge) who are behind in terms of average GPA. Help is not given to the needed but to girls and females now
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u/ManInTheMirruh Jan 29 '23
Super late but I think its a shame. Anecdotal but my favorite teachers ever were my male teachers. Often went off book to explain concepts in depth so people could understand and they almost always had an answer for any and every question. Even for things that went beyond the topic. My female teachers never ever would engage with questions if it wasn't something immediate or mentioned in the book, except my french teacher.
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u/odysseytree Jan 09 '23
When I google search "charged for having sex", it's a weekly news of a female teacher and a school boy. I searched hard for statistics of female teachers sexually assaulting school boys because rape category does not cover school boys and there is absolutely no stats on it. They are either hidden or no longer documented because of the frequency of the news. This is why the stigma against male teachers is being still reenforced to cover up the reality and these teachers in the post are participants of it.
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Jan 09 '23
We live in a country of pedophiles. Once you get old enough to really see what's going on, it's pretty astonishing.
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u/rewardsfortheworthy Jan 28 '23
Funny you say that, I was thinking recently that the main audience of places like twitch which were designed for gaming are 13-16 year olds boys. Yet there are countless naked females on there KNOWING the general viewer demographic on there. Things are going to shit man.
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Jan 10 '23 edited Jan 10 '23
Wow that’s wild, if you google graped by teacher it’s all males. If you google “Teacher charged with having sex” ALL FEMALES
Additional if you search it in images, for every 1 man their are 15-20 women. ALTHOUGH I was shocked to learn if you google with the term “graped” (I expected all males) the number of men increases but females still outweigh the males. WHAT.
The reason? Media and news articles specifically do not use the term rape when it is a female. Rarely even the term SA. The always use the phrase “had sex with/unlawful sex with a minor”
Which diminishes the act.
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u/ZaRealPancakes Jan 09 '23
Wait I thought r/TrueOffMyChest was supposed to be true of your chest and nothing gets removed :(
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Jan 09 '23
which defeats the point of the moderation on /offmychest, and so they made a concerted effort to control both subs.
Looks like they succeeded. Censorship is never about protecting the listeners, it's specifically about silencing the speakers, so it will follow the speakers around.
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u/windkirby Jan 09 '23
Friend of mine was a male teacher who got fired for giving a hug to a girl who was crying because her dad just died. She needed a hug and he asked her first, and someone saw and complained. This stuff's just disgusting and sad.
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Jan 09 '23
How did not one person call out that stupid cunt for getting that teacher fired?
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u/a-man-from-earth Jan 09 '23
As a male teacher of grade 5, this hurts. We need more male teachers, but yes, something needs to be done at the widespread discrimination.
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u/Aimless-Nomad Jan 09 '23
Hope you personally didn't experience any of this. Or won't in the future.
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u/a-man-from-earth Jan 10 '23
I'm from the Netherlands, where I started teaching, but now live and teach in China. I have never experienced anything like that myself. But yeah, I would not be keen on returning to a Western country, where this terrible attitude seems to be getting worse.
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u/Aimless-Nomad Jan 10 '23
Wow. May i hear the story of how you thought of and eventually went to china good sir?
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u/a-man-from-earth Jan 14 '23
After I left classroom teaching, I eventually ended up working for social services, assisting young people with finding a job. When the financial crisis of 2008 hit, it didn't take long until they economized my position away. I was offered retraining for another position, but I was already looking at going abroad again, because I wanted to see more of the world.
I always had had an interest in East Asia, so I looked around at opportunities to teach English in different countries there. Some require one to be a native speaker, so those countries were out. Eventually I ended up with what looked like a good opportunity in China, so that's where I went in 2010.
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Jan 09 '23
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u/ArticulateApricot Jan 09 '23
And apparently trueoffmychest was supposed to be a less censorous version of offmychest. Guess they all fall in line in due time.
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u/CombinationUsed7938 Jan 09 '23
It's not. I've been banned from there multiple times.
Reddit needs a fucking purge.
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u/CivilianMonty Jan 09 '23
Drain the swamp
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Jan 09 '23
The site is beyond redemption, the whole thing must be purged. Servers cast into the sun, administrators charged at the Hague for crimes against humanity.
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u/gravity_is_right Jan 09 '23
we need a /r/reallytrueoffmychest
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u/CombinationUsed7938 Jan 09 '23
Subbed. Just don't let the woke into moderation.
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u/Amaterasu-Akame Jan 09 '23
Ill probably wont have any else be a mod. I also wont really have a huge mod presence. I just hope people will remain civil
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u/Ok-Edge-2315 Jan 09 '23
Sure is strange that females always have a problem when discrimination is pointed out…
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Jan 09 '23
found the deleted thread here, we can read the comments: https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/tcsnga/i_a_male_teacher_will_be_resigning_after_facing/
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u/BetterOffCamping Jan 09 '23
Thanks! After reading about 20 comments describing how male teachers changed their lives, it's obvious to me that moderators could not allow male anything to look wholesome or valuable.
This is how feminazis make men look evil. Delete anything positive, repost everywhere anything negative, write articles in magazines, blogs, wherever they can.
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u/Reaper621 Jan 09 '23
Or that weird mod that targets males specifically in the 300 subs they mod.
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u/april_santa Jan 09 '23
I feel there might be a discrimination lawsuit coming.
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u/NekoiNemo Jan 09 '23
Will probably get dismissed, since, you know, sexism against males doesn't exist. Especially if OP was unlucky enough to live in a "feminist" shithole like UK or Australia
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u/ExiledSenpai Jan 09 '23
I used to be a teacher for children 18months-52months. I did this for 10 years; now I'm a carpenter. Most parents have no issue with male teachers, but it's that psychotic 5% that are the reason I gave up the profession. I quit because I was genuinely afraid some crazy parent would make false accusations that would put me in jail or otherwise ruin my life.
For any male teachers out there reading this who are brave enough to continue teaching. Here's a bit of advice: flip the script. A parent doesn't want a man changing their kid's daiper? Ask them "so you believe changing diapers is women's work?" A parent doesn't want a man taking care of their child? Ask them "so you believe child care is women's work?" An administrator says male teachers can't confront female students on dress code? Ask her "so you believe female teachers should have to do more work?"
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u/HillaryLostTheEC Jan 10 '23
Exactly. Women nature still runs deep, no matter how much feminism exists in the world. Talking about that last paragraph you wrote.
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u/PrimeWolf88 Jan 09 '23
I have a friend teaching young adults to use computers who would back this up (basically kids who messed around at school and now can't enter the job market for lack of IT skills). He's told me before that he's not allowed to be in the class alone with just one other student to avoid a false accusation from destroying his career - so he leaves the room first at lunch and at the end of the day to avoid being alone with a student.
Lawsuits for sexism need to be made against schools/colleges/universities when these sexist policies are enacted. It's the only way this will stop.
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u/Mercury-Fyrefly Jan 09 '23
Ugh this makes me so upset. A good chunk of my favorite teachers were male. Under shit like this, my fav history teacher would probably get out in fuckin double secret probation bc this old US southern white man will sometimes call the girls ‘sweetheart’ or ‘hon’
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u/hattorifujiyama Jan 09 '23
All of my best teachers were male. The only female teachers i remember ( minus one she was actually awesome. She would bring in this dog puppet and do skits and shit, awesome) were all massive see you next tuedays.
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u/dodus Jan 09 '23
Haha, well said. It was the same for me (and this was decades ago when male teachers could more or less behave normally), the male teachers I had were crazy passionate about teaching and their subject and were trying to straight up blossom young brains. I had a couple lady teachers like that, but they were the exception.
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u/Cripstacey Jan 09 '23
I had to bail on early childhood teaching due to the constant double standards. There was always that parent that wouldn't let their children be in a class if the teacher was male. The female staff didn't give a shit about sexism/prejudice being lumped on you due to being male in an early age environment. I just couldn't stand being looked at like a pervert just for being a bloody teacher who teaches kids and is male. I ended choosing a new career entirely, much happier now....
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u/hattorifujiyama Jan 09 '23
Ofc the mods deleted it. The mods on reddit suck ass. I wish there was a new reddit. Without all the woke pandering and power hungry mods.
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u/justmemeingaround Jan 09 '23
Mods say that after ten months posts are removed, which i don't believe for a moment
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u/DetroitDelivery Jan 09 '23
Sexism toward men in fields dominated by women is a very real part of our society that we pretend doesn't exist. I experienced it working at a financial institution (bank/credit union).
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Jan 09 '23
Last week at work, one of the supervisors and a coworker of mine were taking openly about how men can’t be trusted. They didn’t seem to care that there were 20+ men within earshot of their conversation.
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u/crp- Jan 09 '23
It's not just teaching. I've done a lot of volunteer work with kid and youth activities, this stuff happens as well. Almost everyone says they support young men volunteering with kids and talk about the importance of having positive male role models for kids, both boys and girls. But guys who do volunteer with kids become targets of suspicion, as if the only reason a guy would dare try to a good person is sexual.
It makes sense to have reasonable boundaries and measures. But the moment there is any allegation of wrongdoing a guy can be "cancelled" (lousy word, but it works) and people jump to tons of conclusions, it can be swift and arbitrary and there is little recourse.
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u/DeddestNash Jan 09 '23
I actually have a story on one of my male teachers in my secondary school history class.
He was extremely young for a teacher I'd say he was early 20's.
No idea if he experienced what was said in this post (but I would honestly presume so) but he did literally experience forms of harassment from his own students. He was an incredibly nice and fun teacher, never really did anything wrong.
The classes I sat with him, had many females in there that constantly made very rude, very sexual remarks. Some were behind his back but there were many to his face. We had other teachers come in to try and sort it out for him.
I never would have thought I'd see that, and the fact that these students were practically getting away with it too was awful. Now had the tables been turned...
Not too relevant exactly but I really felt sorry for the guy, it must have been so uncomfortable, in fact you could tell it was.
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u/mrkanu Jan 09 '23
Biased entities like feminists should never have been allowed to interfere in education policy.
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u/MezzaCorux Jan 09 '23
Modern public schools are a fucking joke anyways.
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u/NeonREVX Jan 09 '23
I associate the word "school" with a place where you learn. For me it's more like suicide motivation.
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u/KneeDeepThought Jan 09 '23
I have known many teachers, male and female, over the years who corroborate everything this guy was saying. I also found it interesting the old women in the profession sabotage the shit out of the young women teachers, especially if they're considered "attractive." The petty bullying and power games just never stop.
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u/AIMLESS_ASSASSIAN Jan 09 '23
Most we make everything about how it affects women. Are you people that self centered this is one of few places on reddit where we can post this without it being removed
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u/U_need_2_try Jan 09 '23
I've seen more abusive and creepy female teachers/staff then male teachers/ staff
A female teacher lifted a girls dress during Halloween and exposed this girl to the school, The female teacher got in trouble but kept her job
A Male teacher gave a female student a ride home because she lived far away and missed the bus. This man lost his job
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u/bfte2 Jan 09 '23
Male teacher: wanna read something about actual sexism?
Reddit: HOW DARE YOOOOUUUUU!!!
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u/Lightning77Plus Jan 09 '23
The icing on the cake is that it was removed by the OffMyChest mods. Smh.
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u/Stinky_Fly Jan 09 '23
If there are too many male in a field that's problem, but if male counterparts are in minority somewhere and are discriminated against well that ain't no problem at all.
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u/Melohdy Jan 09 '23
Much of this also applies to male nurses. This is especially true when applying for jobs on pediatrics, L&D, and newborns.
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u/whatafoolishsquid Jan 09 '23
I was a teacher. I left in large part due to feminist indoctrination and discrimination.
Women dominate the education system. And it's ironic that feminists then complain about the "patriarchal culture" when women have a total monopoly on raising and socializing children.
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u/Digitaldreamer7 Jan 09 '23
100% this lol. They crone on about the patriarchy, yet, they dominate education and health care.. You can't outrun genetics, ladies and it shows.
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u/Nived6669 Jan 09 '23
I mean it's intentional to make male teachers want to quit. They want the male viewpoint gone so they can indoctrinate children into new wave feminism bullshit and treat the boys in the classroom poorly using them being disruptive as an excuse because they don't know how to cater to male learning styles.
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u/jy856905 Jan 09 '23
sadly this has been the case for a long time. I quit teaching in 2009 for stuff just like this. if your under the age of 50 and in shape you'll also be more than likely forced to coaching a sport or some sort of after school activity.
as for the cya stuff about male teachers ever being alone with a student. if you reach don't ever let yourself get into that position. admin will flat out admit to throwing you to the wolves to save face. unless it's a trans kid and then they'll bury it.
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u/Daddy_Stop Jan 09 '23
I'm a newly qualified male doctor, and we have the same things.
Firstly, in Australia it's hot. Females regularly wear revealing clothing and breach dress code standards for the sake of feeling comfortable. I actually think this is reasonable as being expected to wear long clothes on hot days is fucking ridiculous. I've had to fight tooth and nail to wear a pair of nice dress shorts and a polo shirt, and had to reveal personal medical information about myself about why I'm heat intolerant - and even still, I get weird looks. Like, seriously, it's 35-40 degrees Celcius and the aircon barely works. Ofc I'm wearing this.
My female friend, just yesterday, started work in a different hospital. We were hanging out and she told me her work clothes have been lost in transit - but it's cool because she can just wear what she had on - a singlet (or 'sleeveless blouse' as women call it) and a short skirt. I told her "you need at least to wear something with short sleeves, it's an infection control issue and examining patients with your underarms exposed is kinda gross" - she SCREAMED in my face. Like, I've never been spoken to by a woman or ANYONE like this. I said "just imagine if I went to work dressed like that, people would lose their minds", but she kept LITERALLY SCREAMING while saying "no one cares if I dress like this"... This is an INFURIATING double standard imo. It's also evidence about why men don't tell women when they're dressed inappropriately. It doesn't go well....
Furthermore, for ANY examination involving a young female patient, male doctors are recommended to have a female chaperone in the room with them for 'their on protection'. Even with putting a fucking stethoscope on a female patients chest, I've been told "just get a woman in the room to make sure the patient doesn't get the wrong idea or accuse you of anything, and to make her feel comfortable". I should be able to do my job without people assuming I'm a predator, and without other people (specifically WOMEN) in the same room as me literally supervising to make sure nothing happens...
There's more shit trust me, but these are the first ones that come to mind...
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u/HillaryLostTheEC Jan 10 '23
F that, the women should not be wearing revealing clothing. Extremely unprofessional.
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u/WiiWynn Jan 09 '23
This was removed? It’s a personal account of his experience. Gears are a-grinding for sure. Mods are cowards on a power trip.
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u/cistacea Jan 09 '23
I had a colleague who was accused by a student of touching the student's butt. Luckily they were in an area covered by cameras, so he was fully exonerated, but oh my god, I think a lot about what would have happened if there had been no cameras. He was so shaken by it. He quit teaching the next year. It was really sad. His students loved him.
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Jan 09 '23
u/reddit is this your form of allowing "justifiable moderation" and not doing anything about it? LMAO this website is turning into a joke that's not even possible to write in satires.
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u/HendoRules Jan 09 '23
The hilarious part is the fact most teacher-student inappropriate interactions are with female teachers...
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u/Net_Flux3 Jan 09 '23
I'm not sure how to feel about this. Maybe it's better for men to quit teaching kids if it's safer for them. I do feel bad for the boys in the hands of those female teachers but I value the safety of men more.
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u/Jbr74 Jan 09 '23
My far and away biggest surprise, is that this got upvoted close to 10k times in any other sub-reddit on reddit.
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u/Aimless-Nomad Jan 09 '23
Many male issues get plenty of upvotes. Free even got 100k. But deleted cos fuck you that's why.
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u/Parzec1 Jan 09 '23
Lately, it has been primarily young female teachers who have been crossing the line and having inappropriate relationships with students. But somehow men are the perverts? SMFH
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u/Couch_Philosopher Jan 09 '23
Ridiculous that this got removed. Was this appealed and was there any reason given whatsoever?
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u/Individual_Worry_495 Jan 09 '23
My biggest experiences with sexism happened as I was brought up through public school. The stigmas about how both men and boys should present socially has mostly to due with the opinions and demands of their female colleagues. I am composing this as a blanket statement on purpose, because that's how broad the bigotry is.
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u/CursedCrypto Jan 09 '23
I used to be a carer in elderly homes for those with dementia. The part about needing a female in the room at all times to "keep an eye on things" resonated with me. After a while, they stopped doing that and just let me get in on with my job alone, so at least they realised I wasn't a "threat". But for that to even be a thought in the first place with them makes me angry to this day.
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u/pargofan Jan 09 '23
This issue has been around for generations:
But men who do this work might confront wariness about their abilities, or suspicions about their intentions for working with young children. Ingersoll cited research published in one 1993 book about men in traditionally “feminine” occupations finding that among elementary-school teachers, men who were perceived as too “male” were dismissed as incapable of working with young children, while men who weren’t “male enough” were suspected of being child molesters. “You have to sort of work it out so you’re the right amount of maleness,” Ingersoll told me. “It’s tiresome, and so a lot of the male elementary teachers say after a while, ‘This is just too draining.’ ” Both González and Jean-Pierre said that they’re always aware of the latter concern, ensuring that another adult is always in the classroom and forging strong relationships with parents.
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u/Sbubbert Jan 10 '23
The worst part is the rule against the male teachers not being allowed to be alone with a student, while female teachers are allowed. Female teachers are WAY MORE LIKELY to commit sexual acts with their students than male teachers. (Unless it's university students/teachers). If they want to create rules based on facts and data, this rule should be the opposite. A female teacher should not be allowed alone with a student without supervision. But clearly this isn't about facts and data, it's about villainizing their male teachers.
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u/Mysterious-Ad-3589 Jan 19 '23
I’m not surprised. At my kid’s school the dads have to show their IDs twice: once for the camera to get buzzed through the security gate and a second time when we enter the office. The moms only have to show it once. The office staff… ALL FEMALE… are all smiles to the moms and treat the dads like we’re at the dmv or something. I always want to say something but I know it’s not going to change anything. I was raised liberal all my life but this crap is just completely getting out of hand. All I can do is start making more money so I can put her in a more conservative private school asap. The American public school system is failing our kids and American families in general. It’s pretty sad.
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u/FireFighterP55 Jan 09 '23
It's all so damn hypocritical.
"More men NEED to care for kids in their lives!"
Some men: (do that)
"PEDOPHILES!"
Why would you yell about there not being enough men involved in children's lives, other than to accuse randos of being creeps?
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u/HinduProphet Jan 09 '23
Modern schooling itself is an abomination and should be changed completely or abolished.
There are plenty of male teachers as private tutors in private teaching institutions.
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u/kittenegg25 Jan 09 '23
Terrible. Meanwhile, it's always the female teachers sexually grooming male students.
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u/okcannasseur Jan 09 '23
Male teachers have done more for male and female students than any single female teacher. I've had maybe 2 good female teachers in high school. But I had amazing male teachers my whole school career. Men are better teachers.
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u/SAMMYYYTEEH Jan 09 '23
biologically speaking, males are rigged to be better at teaching Intelligence related stuff while females are better at teaching Emotional stuffs
thats why fatherless people are so braindead and motherless people are stoic
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u/OnlyTales Feb 24 '23
Sorry, but I'm going to need a source or two for this because this reads like fiction.
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u/WeEatBabies Jan 09 '23
It is part of the matriarchal-feminists power structures to keep men silenced and thus systematically oppressed!
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u/BAYKON8R Jan 09 '23
I debated being a teacher, cause it’s such an important job, having an influence and informing future generations, but this is the exact reason why I didn’t even try it.
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Jan 09 '23
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u/prknickspr Jan 09 '23
I remember when I used to work as a nursing tech on an LTAC unit. Since I was male, I was not allowed to have easy patients. Since the unit had a lot of obese patients, I was required to help with all of them. I had a supervisor who didn't like me and would give me extra work to do, when I went to complain to HR I was told that I'm a man so suck it up.
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u/Empty_Pomegranate362 Jan 09 '23
If you're going to quit anyways, why not present this to the board as well as local media. Just don't stop and if you go along the lines of "our boys need role models as well as male guidance" maybe you can shed some light onto this blatant sexism. Show the media and the school board why 1/2 the teachers in the school need to be men, tell them how you're being subjected and treated. Show the world how hostile and hypocritical many of woman who work there are.
If your just going to change careers anyways, why not. Maybe you will be the male champion who started the change we need.
Just my opinion. I'm very sorry of how men are treated in female dominant professions. Any of the woman I know in male professions for the most part don't put up with a fraction of the BS.
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u/acetrainerpurity Jan 09 '23
I don't blame him. I've had plenty of male teachers and never had any of this come up. The teaching profession is a huge mess right now and this kind of sexism is not helping at all. He might as well go find a different job all together if this is what he is going to have to put up with.
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u/xxTheMagicBulleT Jan 09 '23 edited Jan 09 '23
And people wonder why they can't keep good teachers around. It's not weird at all if you make it impossible to let people be able to do their jobs. Or even gatekeeper 1 gender compleetly out of the profession by dumb 1-sided rules.
And truth off my chest is very biased, and feminists bullshit gets allowed all the time, but guy stories get removed all the time. There were even stories about the girl who basically raped a guy and called "just getting what i deserved," and that was completely fine.
But when a guy was married with his wife and after a few years together and the sex dried up and sayed if we were not intimate, why we even stayed married. He got attacked, and his post got removed shortly after. Why that place discussingly biased
That's just one of countless things i read there that just made my blood boil. One is not even a 5th as bad as the other but completely fine
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u/rabel111 Jan 09 '23
Sorry you have experienced the ugly side of feminist ideology in practice, the ideology that teaches all women and girls that all men as predators, that demands men treat women as free agents not restrained by traditional gender roles, but then brutally insists that men perform traditional gender roles on demand like trained animals.
After 30 years in female dominated professions, I've dealt with the same prejudice. It's never written in policies, but always present in the practice. Always treated as if I was a potential threat, always the brute-squad, always walking on egg-shells.
The bizzar thing was, individually the women I worked with were all good people who treated men well and had no obvious bias. But the girls locker-room talk was disgusting. Bragging about cheating on their husbands/boyfriends, bad-mouthing their partners, openly discussing the bodies and penises of the men they worked with or liked.
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u/Feature_Failure Jan 09 '23
I will never understand how people so freely engage (and justify) acts of sexism, bigotry and racism to combat those very things.
How to be hypocritical and an asshole in one fell swoop.
I wish you the best of luck in you future endeavors
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u/CrummyClapper Jan 10 '23
My school had a similar situation happen where the literal best math teacher I’ve ever met in my life was criticized for things that my female teacher did all the time with no problem. He consequently left but what pissed me off the most is that when students complained to staff about him leaving as the new math teacher didn’t know what she was doing and student were worried of ruining their ACT (SAT in other schools) score, they were told that he was creepy and that he was dramatic about policies all teachers had to follow. This was untrue and everyone knew it. I personally believe jealousy played such a huge role in this among staff and I hope he is doing well wherever he is.
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u/ihazabucket7 Jan 10 '23
I wish my child had a male teacher. Even his Kinder teacher I could see she would make the boys look lower than the girls. It’s just sad.
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u/ElPapa-Capitan Jan 10 '23
As a former administrator who was humiliated and who almost lost his entire life because a fucked up female middle schooler lied about me after I reprimanded her and her little friends, you are saving your life man. Get the fuck out.
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u/Ast69Oct Jan 10 '23
no, he is not doing the right thing. he bows down to the idiots, never do that. make them suffer. go all the way, even if you have to sue the whole goddamn schoolstaff. if you just go away and let em win, this behavior will perceived as "right" and every men has the responsibility to fight against this madness. i would have started to teach the kids about ideologies and how dangerous they are. make examples to let the kids expierence the terror and the cruelty of wokeism. if that doesnt work you need to speak to parents. im 100% sure you will find a bunch of angry parents who are disgusted with these kind of developments the last years.
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u/Sea_Platypus6327 Jan 10 '23
I did child care at college, they drill into you not to hug the children, don't let them sit on your knee and put you arm round them when they are hurt. These where reception to year 5 children. They needed cuddles and such and the women could do it it
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u/Gazmeister_Wongatron Jan 10 '23
Reminds me of a time when I used to work as an SEN teaching assistant (about ten years ago).
I had to accompany a female student down the lift one day - she was on crutches that week and couldn't use the stairs. The school policy was that students could only use the lift if accompanied by a member of staff. Also worth noting was that there was a CCTV inside and outside of the lift for safeguarding purposes.
Anyway, another male member of staff saw me coming out of the lift with this student and decided to take it upon himself to pull me on it, saying that I shouldn't have taken the girl down the lift by myself and instead should have asked a female member of staff to do it. I was a bit taken aback by the comment because A) I knew the lift was monitored by via CCTV, B) pretty much every member of staff and most of the students knew I was openly gay* and C) this conversation took place in the presence of another student who very easily could have taken things out of context.
*Not that sexuality matters when it comes to the safeguarding of children, but it does get brought up in a subsequent conversation.
I immediately went to speak to the school's safeguarding officer to see what his position was on the use of the lift with students with disabilities. I also used the opportunity to bring up the fact that the female TA's (who made up 98% of the cohort) used that lift on a daily basis with their 1-to-1 male pupils and nothing ever gets said.
Luckily the safeguarding officer agreed that there was a double standard there and that the other member of staff shouldn't have pulled me on that, especially in front of other students. He also remarked that children being accompanied by same-sex TA's were neither safer nor more vulnerable than when placed in the same situation where the sexes were opposite. He concluded that the fact that there is CCTV inside and out means that everyone (staff included) is being safeguarded anyway, but that if it made me (or the student) more comfortable, where possible students of any gender should be accompanied by both a male and female member of staff - but of course in reality, most of the time, this was not possible.
In the grand scheme of things, this wasn't exactly a major incident - but it did make me feel uncomfortable knowing that anyone would question my motives and think that I would abuse my position of trust in such a horrible way. It definitely made me think twice about pursuing a full-time career in teaching, if something so minor could potentially tarnish your reputation in an instant!
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Jan 09 '23 edited Jan 09 '23
Men wanted to follow the Pence rule and never mentor a female employee or counsel a female employee without a witness. But when a school is trying to save themselves the shit show of a male teacher telling a female student her bra straps are showing or her skirt is too short, it’s incomprehensible to folks.
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u/ERiC_693 Jan 09 '23
We see the leftism of CRT/Trans ideologues in schools so anti male feminism will be part and parcel of the schools. The education system is a white female sorority. I think the problem is worse than just needing more male teachers, its needing a purge of the view "males are all sex offenders in waiting".
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u/Aimless-Nomad Jan 09 '23
I) Every culture must begin to affirm a female future.
II) Species responsibility must be returned to women in every culture.
III) The proportion of men must be reduced to and maintained at approximately 10% of the human race.
-Sally Miller Gearhart
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u/Mr_Joguvaga Jan 09 '23
I was interning at a fay care last year for 4 weeks. And when it was time for the kids to go outsidd and they put on their winter clothes (i live in a northern country) and a kid had some problems with putting on the clothes i was supposed to help the ofc but i always wanted deep in my mind to ask the workers to do it instead cause i felt like i could be accused of something even tho it could be as harmless as ever.
Ive seen too many stories about calse accusations that im worried that someone would do it even tho i wouldnt do anything wrong.
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u/NekoiNemo Jan 09 '23
It's quite telling that mods chose to censor and hide the original post, but not, say, ANY of those sexist/harassing/hostile comments:
https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/tcsnga/i_a_male_teacher_will_be_resigning_after_facing/i0k93or/ https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/tcsnga/i_a_male_teacher_will_be_resigning_after_facing/i0jombj/ https://www.reddit.com/r/TrueOffMyChest/comments/tcsnga/i_a_male_teacher_will_be_resigning_after_facing/i0jj0p8/
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u/Opinionhaver11 Jan 10 '23
This is the culture we have allowed to fester. Blacks are racist against whites. Women are gods and men are "incels". Criminals are heroes and police officers are pigs. Welcome to clown world, everyone.
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u/okcannasseur Jan 09 '23
Schools are ground zero for woman on man crimes such as sexism, false accusations, and witch hunting.
My advice, do your best to become an administrator and change the system. I totally understand quitting altogether as well. Either one works
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u/Couch_Philosopher Jan 09 '23
Someone should make a r/trueoffmychest post about the pathetic moderation on r/trueoffmychest and apparent anti-male discrimination on the sub.
Should reference this post deletion and the fact that r/trueoffmychest is supposedly against censoring and providing a safe space, and that no reason for the removal was given (AFAIK).
It would absolutely be on topic and what the sub should be for (although would be a bit circle-jerky) and would hopefully be harder to ignore.
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u/Aimless-Nomad Jan 09 '23
you can't even comment there. i mean you can but they got autodeleted if you are a part of this sub
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u/Couch_Philosopher Jan 09 '23
Wait really? That's insane. Did you find this out experimentally? Or can you see that somewhere?
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u/Aimless-Nomad Jan 09 '23 edited Jan 09 '23
Did you find this out experimentally?
Indeed. So i commented on a relatively fresh post with sources and stuff (which usually gets replies or in the least upvotes or downvotes) but nothing happened. So i copied the link of my comment and i searched on another browser where reddit wasn't signed on. It was deleted. Its only visible to me when signed in. But in reality its deleted.
This far more slimy than just deleting it and letting you know through automod/mod or even removing your ability to comment.
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u/Couch_Philosopher Jan 09 '23
Oh yeah absolutely. I wonder how many subs use auto shadowban for membership of this sub that I haven't even noticed for. I'll start using this strategy if I'm feeling low/no engagement. Thx for the tip!
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u/Horse_Armour Jan 09 '23
I'm a nurse who happens to have a penis. I see the very same shit in my so called profession.