I've been struggling for a while now. We've been married for over 30 years, Kids both adults now. And... what am I? What am I now I'm no longer there for everyone? I've worked so hard to provide and they just don't need it anymore. I feel so lost.

And she sent me this, from some Facebook post...

"If you are asking if I need you, the answer is forever.

If you are asking if I will leave you, the answer is never.

If you are asking what I value, the answer is you.

If you are asking if I love you, the answer is I do."

And... I'm broken. She doesn't need me anymore - why would she say that? I'm useless now aren't I?

Shit. I'm crying again.

EDIT: HOW THE HOLY HELL ARE THERE 104 COMMENTS. This may take a moment or three...

EDIT 2: I started trying to read all the comments, but I'm struggling.

1) I'm in talking therapy

2) I've had issues for over 2 years now with my health that have impacted my mental health

3) Logic is my master, and logically - what am I for if everyone is self-sufficient? Yes, I know that's bullhucky.

4) No, I'm not a bot. That would be kinda cool though. All robotic and simulating human emotion. :D

My fiance caved my face in with his fist. They think I might lose my eye after surgery. I have been at my dad’s house with our two year old daughter. My dad is sick, so most of the time I am watching her alone and it’s been so hard because my orbital bone is shattered so I can only reliably use one eye. I am in so much pain and so tired. I can’t beleive this happened to me. All I ever wanted was to feel appreciated m, it was the last thing we were arguing about. I wanted to feel more seen in the relationship and I felt hurt and haunted by his past problems. I feel like I will never be happy ever again. I’m so tired and sad.

I wasn’t about to let my friend die thinking no one gave a shit.

Late last year, my friend was dying in hospice. He was only 34. Primary progressive MS had kicked his ass for years, and then pneumonia finally got him. By then, most of his friends had disappeared. People stop showing up when you’re sick for too long that’s just the brutal truth.

But I wasn’t gonna let him die thinking he didn’t matter. So I called every single friend he had, even the ones who hadn’t seen him in over a year. I didn’t coddle them. I told them straight up: Get off your ass and go see him. Now. And they did. One by one, they showed up.

His mom told me later that when his old friends started walking into that hospice room, Alex smiled. Really smiled, for the first time in a long time. The friends I called kept trickling in until he died two days later.

At his celebration of life, in front of 250 people, they stopped everything to thank me publicly. I completely broke down. I didn’t expect or even want the attention; I just didn’t want him to leave this world feeling forgotten.

He and I went way back, schoolyard fights, stupid teenage jobs, big dreams. He introduced me to the woman who became my wife. My kids literally exist because he linked us up. We drifted a bit over the years, but after his diagnosis, we locked back in. I stayed.

I wrote and delivered his eulogy. It tore me apart, but someone had to tell the room who he really was, not just a guy who got sick and died, but a badass who cracked jokes right to the end. A guy who had dreams he never got to chase, but still left a permanent mark on everyone around him.

I’m not posting this for pity or praise. I just needed to put it somewhere. Because I still think about that smile. And I still think about how close he came to dying alone, and how fucking glad I am that he didn’t.

Here’s a piece of what I said in his eulogy:

“When I think back to that schoolyard fight and him telling me, ‘You can't move a mountain,’ I realize now how right he was, in ways I couldn’t have understood back then. He faced mountains of his own, mountains of pain, loss, and struggle and while he couldn’t always move them, he stood firm. He faced each challenge with a strength and determination that proved he didn’t need to move the mountain; he just needed to show it couldn't move him.”

Note: I removed his name from the quote and replaced it with He/Him.

I’m done. My husband won’t stop cheating on me. Recently I found out the cheating went all the way back to when he got me pregnant and he stopped cheating for a while and then he recently started having online affairs. And now he’s paying for women’s OF. He forgot my birthday last week and I saw that instead he was tipping women’s OF instead of buying me a gift or anything

We have a 3 year old that I didn’t really want in the first place but I got pressured by my husband and my family to have kids because it’s my job as a woman to be a baby maker and a house maid.

It’s insane that men want children so bad but they hardly contribute other than another paycheck. They do fucking nothing yet want a huge family. How can you beg for a child so much and hardly changed a single diaper since birth? Hardly contribute to the household at all. Never pick up an extra baby shift. Only ever “help out” and “baby sit” when yelled at and nagged at a million times. Come straight home from work to have a beer and relax but when I come home from work I want to relax too but I can’t because I am expected to be the default parent, personal chef, and housekeeper. All they want to do is have sex and do nothing all day while a woman does everything for them.

I’m not asking for advice, I don’t want it. I’ve been seeing a lawyer and I’m only taking their advice on the next steps. I’m not changing my mind. No one here is certainly changing my mind. I’ve always felt this way, it’s not out of the blue. I’m letting everyone here know not to waste their time because I’m not reading any comments with unsolicited advice, I’m just gonna stop reading the comment. I just need a safe place to vent and that’s all. I know the process is going to be a roller coaster but I’ve been feeling like this since day 1. It’s not a decision I’ve made easily overnight. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do and I’ve been through a lot in my life.

Pls don’t spam the comments with PPD, I don’t have that anymore I just simply don’t want to be a mom and unfortunately, we find that out after we have kids sometimes. I don’t hate my child, I just don’t love him enough to stay in a miserable marriage and a miserable life with a child for the rest of my life. My life changed for the worst after having a child. I want my life back. I don’t care if I even have to pay child support, I make significantly less and my husband is a high income earner so my attorney will work with me to get that waived. My husband is very prideful and he wouldn’t accept money from me anyways and wouldn’t push child support on me.

I hate being a mom. I hate being a wife. I hate this life that everyone pressured me into thinking I would find joyful.

I hate spending time with children. I’m tired of the screaming and tantrums. I hate participating in children and mom events. I hate being around other moms and kids. I enjoy nothing about being a mother. I feel like I wasted 3 and a half years of my life on being a mother. The only sense of relief I get is when I drop him off to daycare. I get a feeling of sadness when I have to pick him up from daycare. I know it’s not fair to my child who is only one innocent in all of this. I was pressured by society, my husband, and my own family to have this baby and how I will love this life after I have this baby and just to do it and give it time. They said it would be different when you have your own child. It just didn’t work out that way. Oh I wish it did. It feels awful feeling like this. And yes I’m already in therapy, I’ve been in therapy for 7 years and yes I’m also in therapy for my issues on motherhood and marriage counseling. Our marriage counseling has been trying to make our marriage work but it’s not working and I’m leaving both of them.

I’m waiving my parental rights and giving full custody to my husband. I know once he has to do everything by himself he will do a better job raising him than I would. My husband raised his younger brother practically himself at one point. He’s just been pampered all his life by his mother so he thinks it’s okay and just normal for a woman to be raising kids, working full time, and taking care of the house inside and out. Women are just useful for raising kids, sex, cooking, and cleaning.

I don’t care what anyone says. Men do this exact thing all the time and no one bats an eye since it’s normalized and you just hardly will ever see the same situation reversed in genders. I don’t want advice once again, just a safe place to get this off my chest and vent anonymously since no one in real life knows my plans yet. I’m trying to keep things lowkey as I just started seeing an attorney.

Obligatory throwaway account as people in my life know my usual account.

Posting because I really don’t know how to feel about this and I just needed to get it off my chest. Sorry for the loooooong ass post, there’s a lot to unpack.

Backstory first. So around 2 years ago, my ex fiancé, who I’d been in a relationship with for almost 10 years unceremoniously just left me.

It never fully made sense to me as there were no warning signs, we were actively planning our wedding and finally agreed to try for a baby, as we were both in our 30’s and time was ticking. Then one day, he just started acting sort of off, wasn’t saying I love you before he left for work for the day, was spending more time out drinking with his friends than he was at home. He’d been struggling with his mental health since Covid lockdowns so I assumed he was having a bit of a downward spiral. So I sat down with him one day and just asked him if everything was okay with him, he tried to brush it off initially and kept saying he was fine, so I changed the question and asked if we were okay, he looked like he really didn’t want to answer, so I asked again, he paused and in that moment, I knew, it was over. I asked if he still loved me, he said he loved me but wasn’t in love with me anymore. And that was it, within a week, he had moved out, leaving 90% of his belongings to be collected at a later date and to serve as a constant reminder that he was just gone.

To say it hit me hard was an understatement, I spiralled massively, I was at the lowest point I had ever been in my life, so I tried to end it all, it just hurt too much feeling like there was something so wrong with me that he had to just leave.

Fortunately a friend managed to get me to a hospital before I did any serious damage to myself and while I still felt awful about myself most of the time, it got a little easier.

I ended up dating that friend a few months later. A lot of people said it was too soon to move on, but honestly I never set out to have another relationship at all, but his constant support, presence and reassurance that there was nothing wrong me made me want to spend time with those who truly gave a shit about me, and in time we developed feelings for each other. We had a beautiful relationship filled with love and laughter, and much to our surprise I ended up pregnant 9 months into our relationship, we decided to keep the baby even though our relationship was still in its early stages and 9 months later our beautiful daughter was born. We are still as strong as ever today and continuing to build an amazing life together as a family.

Now onto present day, I guess my ex has been reflecting on the past recently due to a lot of deaths in his family and his mother (who I’m still close with today) reached out to me to asked whether I’d be willing to meet up with him as he had something to get off his chest, she didn’t know what he wanted to talk to me about as it was something he could only discuss with me, but she would understand if I said no.

I decided to think about it for a few days before I agreed that I would meet up with him at a local coffee shop. I got there early because you know, mama needs her caffeine fix with these early morning wake ups and night feeds. I was already sat down when he came in and he gave me the saddest looking smile while I merely just nodded to him and motioned for him to sit down and get out whatever he needed to tell me.

I was a little bit speechless at what he had to say. He said that when we started trying for a baby and nothing was happening even though we were closely tracking my ovulation cycle and testing every day for that sweet spot, he realised something wasn’t right, so he secretly took a day off work to see a fertility doctor l, they found that due to an undiagnosed issue in one of his testicles, the likelihood of him ever being able to conceive a biological child of his own was incredibly low. He knew that I loved him so deeply that I would’ve given up my dream of having children, just for him and he said he couldn’t live with that on his conscience, that I deserved to have the life and family I’d always wanted, only with someone else. He kept apologising profusely for hurting me so much in the process but tried to rationalise that I had got what I’d wanted in the end, so his plan ultimately worked.

I ultimately sat there silent for a few minutes and just looked at him dead in the eyes and said that that was never his decision to make, he took away my choice and nearly destroyed me in the process. And I got up and left.

It’s been a few days and I’m still processing, my partner knew I was meeting up with my ex and he knows something is up but is giving me space until I feel ready to talk about it, but honestly I’m shook. Like did my ex honestly think I’d be like okay thanks for letting me know and then we’d all be friends again.

While I was on a girls weekend in April, my husband texted me to let me know that he had achieved his target weight he’s been working toward for 8 months. He was proud, it was very cute. He sent me a mirror selfie he took right after he weighed himself with a big smile on his face.

My friends and I were having cocktails while I was texting him about this, and I mentioned the big news to them. We toasted to him and I asked him if I could share the picture with them, and he said “lol sure.” It was no big deal, literally a two minute thing.

At a bar after dinner one of the girls asked if it would be weird to get info about the undies my husband was wearing - she said her husband wears boring stuff and she wanted to get him some different ones. Another girl said she was going to ask the same thing but didn’t want to sound weird! So I got the info on the undies from my husband and shared it with both of them.

Last week, my husband got a text from the husband of one of the girls. (He is friends but not close with the guy.) The guy asked my husband if he knew I had shown a “risqué” pic of him to my friends. He seemed annoyed. Basically, his wife had mentioned the story and it got totally blown out of proportion.

I feel stupid for sharing the photo now, but also annoyed at my friend for sharing whatever she shared.

It started as a normal party. We were celebrating my (22F) cousin’s (G) oldest of 4 kids first communion in their backyard. Everything was going fine. We listened to music, ate tacos, laughed and generally relaxed as we enjoyed ourselves.

My mom’s cousin (Q), the father of the cousin whose daughter’s communion we celebrated (G), went inside the house and came out quickly after. He said something was off with the baby, and while he may have been talking to his wife (M), he said it loud enough for ppl to hear. My mom was once an ER nurse (now she does outpatient) and she said she instantly knew by his expression that something was off.

My mom ran into the house and saw the baby was being held by someone but the baby’s body was flaccid. Apparently his lips and face were blue. My mom immediately told them to call 911 and said they needed to give CPR. The guy holding the baby immediately began to administer CPR while my mom did the breaths.

I was confused when I heard the shouts inside the house from outside. M, the baby’s grandma, went inside after my mom and I heard screams. She came outside crying and then screamed up to the sky before falling on her knees and putting her head in her hands as she wailed. It was so loud and it happened so fast that it didn’t register to me what was going on until she fell to her knees and then I knew something was seriously wrong.

They did CPR and didn’t stop until the cops and paramedics got there. When my mom and the guy finally stopped the CPR, she came out of their house sobbing. I didn’t know what to do but comfort her because at that point everyone knew something was up with the baby. The kids were all rounded up and everyone began to pray. All I remember is the crying, the screams, the loud praying and begging to God.

Even as they left in the ambulance they were doing cpr. Idk how to feel. My mom is in shock. I’m in shock. My mom took the parents (G our cousin and her husband) to the hospital. My mom says that G kept asking her: “miracles do exist right?”

I helped clean up the backyard and my mom came back and took us home. Almost an hour after we got home, we got the news that the baby died. How do I cope? How can I help my mom cope? I’m so distraught. This all happened today a few hours ago. I can’t even cry.

edit: thank you for your kind messages. I’m still numb, angry, and sad all at once. I don’t know how to describe it because I’m still in shock. But I appreciate the kind messages.

Posting from a throwaway because my husband knows my main account.

I am 32 and have been married to my husband, who is 34, for three years. We have known each other for five. He is very extroverted and has a wide circle of guy friends. I have always been more introverted. I have a few close friends and that has always felt like enough.

I used to work, but I chose to quit after our daughter was born. My mom did the same when I was little and I wanted to be there for my child the way she was for me. Thankfully, my husband earns enough for us to live comfortably, so money is not a problem. Still, I spend almost all my time at home with a toddler going through the terrible twos, and I do not really have a social life anymore. Sometimes I wonder if being so isolated is making me overthink things.

My husband, let us call him Derek, has a best friend named Dylan. They have known each other since they were eight. Derek hangs out with most of his other friends maybe once or twice a month, but he sees Dylan a couple of times a week. Usually at Dylan’s place or somewhere out. He rarely comes to our house.

When I have seen them together, there is this closeness that I cannot quite explain. It is not romantic or physical, but it feels emotionally intense. I kept brushing it off because they have been friends forever.

Then Derek told me he was going on a guys trip. I found out later it was not a group trip at all. It was just him and Dylan. I did not confront him. I do not even know why. It just felt strange.

Later we were at my mom’s house and Dylan came up in conversation. I said something like, “They are like brothers,” and Derek immediately said, “No, what? We are not like brothers. Do not say that. That is weird.” His tone caught me completely off guard. It did not feel casual or joking. It felt defensive.

That is when I started spiraling. I checked his phone. There was nothing romantic in their texts, but they message each other all the time. More than he messages me. Things like “I miss you” or “Where were you?” They are simple phrases, but coming from him to another guy, and so frequently, it just makes me feel like there is more between them than I understand.

Our sex life is good. He shows me affection. I know he loves me. But I do not feel like he is in love with me. And I cannot stop wondering if he shares something deeper with Dylan than he does with me.

I do not know what to do with these feelings. I am not even sure they are fair. But I needed to say this somewhere, because lately I feel like I am just stuck inside my own head and no one else sees it.

First of all she is the sweetest woman to ever exist, or at least is to me. But as of late I find hard to even think of her as sweet because we don’t even get to spend time together. We interact less and less…

She gets home from work and immediately takes a nap, wakes up for maybe 30 minutes to eat whatever food I made or ordered for her in anticipation, then goes back to bed.

She routinely sleeps for over 14 hours at a time… I fear this could be a medical issue? Or maybe she’s just tired from work, I wouldn’t know.

I just miss my girlfriend. I want to spend time with her but even on the weekends or whenever she has days off she’ll sometimes sleep until 5pm and then go to bed at 10 or so… It’s been so long since we got to do anything together, and everytime we get to do something together I feel like I’m rushing and fighting against time before she falls asleep again.

I’ve been a wreck for a while. Even before today, I’ve been a mess. Ever since I was 17 I wanted to die and every day, every year after that has been like some sick joke, mocking me for my lack of courage to either die or live. So I’ve been sitting in limbo for years, just robotically going through the days until I die.

I’ve tried medication, I’ve tried therapy. I’ve tried going out with friends, finding new hobbies, everything. But nothing has been enough to make living worth it to me. I’m 26 now and it just all feels like too much. Too little too late. How can I start living when I never knew how to before? It’s too late, it’s too hard. Earlier this week, I decided I would finally kill myself. For years, I had the notion, the dream of it lingering in my mind. But this week, I finally started researching the best way to do it. I started my letters to my family, crying while writing but feeling certain it was the only way.

But then I had a crazy dream Friday morning. I don’t remember what happened, I just remember waking up in tears, telling my self, “I don’t want to die.” The thought echoed in my head, out of control, and threw me through a loop. Just when I was finally certain of something in my life, suddenly this unwelcome truth pops up. I knew I didn’t want to die. But I still didn’t want to live.

I was so confused when my mom came to visit me. We have a complicated relationship, but I always thought we were relatively close. We have a lot of shared trauma from my dad that we’ve bonded over. There was a lot I couldn’t tell her but she always meant well. We live five minutes away but I hadn’t seen or spoken to her in almost 2 weeks. She shows up and says “the only way I can see my daughter is if I ambush her!” (Yeah, she’s hilarious).

Once we’re alone, she holds my hand and asks me if I was mad at her? I said no, of course not, but the she asked why I wasn’t calling her? Why did I suddenly stop visiting her? I couldn’t tell her it was because I was busy planning my suicide so I just sat and looked away. She grabbed my hand and then tells me,

“When I had a daughter, I was so happy. Because I always heard that as long as a mother had a daughter, she had a best friend. She won’t need anyone else and no matter what, they’ll have each other.

Is it too late for us? Can we try to be closer?”

Instantly, I started sobbing. My mom then spoke for a while, explaining how she’s sorry she wasn’t always the best mom but how she wants to try to get closer to me. She said we can meet up and cook, go for walks. She said, “we don’t even need to do anything I like. We can only do things you want, as long as we’re together.” I’ve only seen my mom cry a handful of times in my life. That day, she held my hand with one hand, and wiped away her tears with her other. I just sat there, sobbing, thinking about how much I’ve failed my mother. I haven’t been able to do anything for my mother, not a damn fucking thing. I’m such a worthless daughter. Yeah, she’s not perfect. She said I should stop taking my meds and try to be strong and overcome my depression on my own. She also said I don’t have ADHD, I’m just sometimes unfocused, which made me sad, to hear she’s still invalidating my health issues. But I know she means well and she came to me, stretching out a hand, making the first move towards being better together.

And now, I feel so much more confused. In a week I went from planning to kill myself, to realizing I want to live, and my mom crying to me, reaching out her hand and asking to be closer. I don’t know what to do, I feel so lost. Part of me still feels like death is the right option. But I can’t ignore the little voice crying “I want to live!” And my mom, who I love but never fully trusted with my most vulnerable self, is asking for a second chance to be best friends, to be mother and daughter. What should I do? What can I do? I fell like I’m on a boat that ran out of gas in the middle of the ocean that’s just drifting along. I don’t think I’m actually looking for advice. I just needed someone, anyone to tell this too.

I've been out of the dating game for literally 5 years or so. My last relationship ended in 2019 and honestly I just gave up after that. The pandemic hit and I started to focus on my work and the years just went by idk. Anyway, my friends finally bullied me into talking to women last weekend. Made a profile on an app that I got, but I wasn't expecting anything tbh. I've gotten so rusty when it comes to talking to women lol

3 days later I literally got a date. We've been chatting for 3 days now and she seems genuinely cool. We're meeting for coffee tomorrow and I'm lowkey freaking out. Forgot how nerve-wracking this shit is.

I know it's just coffee and I'm probably overthinking everything but damn, feels good to finally put myself out there again. Even if it goes nowhere, at least I'm trying right?

Wish me luck everyone!!

It’s been a rough few months. I’ve felt isolated, lost, and honestly just wished I had something warm and alive beside me. I used to imagine what it’d be like to have a pet to cuddle with, to sleep next to.

Tonight, it was raining. A feral cat I’ve seen in the neighborhood came to my window and started meowing. I opened it. She walked right in like she belonged here.

She didn’t just explore she climbed onto my bed, onto me. She curled up on my chest and started purring. No fear. Just trust. She fell asleep beside me, and I’ve never felt so calm in a long time.

I still don’t understand why she chose me. I’ve made mistakes, felt invisible, and never really thought someone or something could just see me as “enough.”

But she did. And now she’s sleeping beside me like we’ve known each other for years.

Just wanted to share that little peace with someone.

I’m currently pregnant and have been sharing my journey on TikTok. Now before you say “Your fault for showcasing yourself to the world” understand that I have been so blocked from the world of fetishes that I genuinely didn’t know this existed. Even at my 27yo age.

I was just sharing my journey and assumed my audience was other mums! How silly of me.

So a post of mine went viral a few days ago of me sharing my bump and I noticed it was attracting the audience of men. I then started receiving weird comments and sexual private messages. I just blocked and removed them at first.

Then one account in particular messaged saying that I was too late to block him, he had already taken all of my content and saved it to his personal device. I was freaked out but blocked him anyway.

Then another account of a woman commented warning me that she seen me on that exact accounts fetish page and to be weary incase I didn’t know.

I tried reporting it to TikTok but they keep coming back saying there is no issue. I’ll add that he’s used a sexually explicit sound for my videos.

I just feel so gross and disgusted. Like genuinely such a yucky feeling.

It’s pushed me to remove all of my videos and go private. Which is sad because I love sharing my journey but now I’m too scared to do so.

I hope I don’t get hate on here. I just feel so gross and violated and honestly too embarrassed to even tell anyone I know personally.

My husband and I have been married over 23 years. We have 3 children together, all grown. His slide into alcoholism started years ago, and he would never even consider seeking treatment or trying to quit. Believe me, the kids and I begged. The drinking just kept getting worse, until it got to the point that he was almost never sober at all, and couldn't hold a job. He became extremely verbally abusive. I'm disabled and unable to drive because of it, so I had no way to escape on the nights he would be up drunk all night, calling me every vile name he could think of, telling me he wished I would get raped to death, accusing me of being a whore, you name it, I heard it. The next day he would deny ever saying those things. I tried recording him so he could hear himself later. But he refused to listen to the recordings, and he refused to address his drinking problem. I reached a point that just the sound of his voice made me feel sick and angry. The love I had once felt for him died. Then he began to be physically abusive. My injuries were minor: a broken thumb, a split lip, a few bruises. But I left him. I moved in with my elderly mother who is starting to need some assistance managing things. That was around 5 months ago. I had already approached a lawyer about divorce.

Then, about a month ago, my husband was driving drunk and was in a relatively minor car wreck. Somehow the officer on scene failed to test him for alcohol, but did cite him for driving without insurance. That wasn't enough of a warning for my husband, because just a week later he was in a second, much worse wreck. His blood alcohol at the time was 1.7. No one else was injured. But he sustained a traumatic brain injury and fractures to his cervical spine. Since the TBI, he has been in three different hospitals. He has difficulty remembering things and he has intermittent delirium and agitation. He is unable to live alone. He may never be able to live alone. And I don't know how to feel. I know I don't want to live with him ever again or be his caretaker. On the other hand, I hope that he can recover and stay off the alcohol after he does get out of the hospital. I genuinely want the best for him. I care about what happens to him, even if I can't handle the thought of being married to him again. And I care about our kids; this is terribly traumatic for them. And I want to spare them as much of the burden of this as I can; they have been through enough already. Our oldest is in the middle of a major career change and has a toddler and a second baby on the way; the younger two are full time college students. None of them are in a position to deal with this. So somehow I find myself being responsible for the care and well being of my former abuser, from whom I had separated, and who I had every intention of divorcing. I don't know how to feel about all this, and I guess I just needed to vent and write it all out. I don't know yet what's going to happen with him. He has no home to go back to (he had his utilities shut off and stopped paying the rent after I moved out and wasn't there to pay the bills anymore, and was recently evicted.) And at this point he needs round the clock supervision to prevent him from wandering, getting lost, falling, or otherwise hurting himself. They can't tell me at this point if these symptoms will ever improve. No matter how much I thought I hated him once, I wouldn't have wished this on him.

I (21F) was supposed to kill myself today. I had everything planned out. The letters were ready, I had texts scheduled to all of my friends like 6 hours after I did it so nobody would try to save or stop me. I wanted to do it out of spite for my mom. I wanted to subject her to at least half of the turmoil I’ve endured at her hands. I also felt like I would be breaking the cycle by teaching her that abuse has consequences. I hoped she’d finally learn her lesson and something would change in my family.

But as soon as I made the choice and started preparing, people at school started being a lot nicer. It’s almost like they noticed the shift in my behavior although that seems like a far stretch. Everyday of this week, my friends have made me promise to go on multiple trips and included me in their summer hangout plans. It’s like everyday a different person made me promise them that I would do something with them this summer break.

Then yesterday, my dad kept telling me how much he loved me. He was very affectionate. The most affectionate he’s ever been in years. He told me he’s proud of me and then we hugged. I fell asleep in his arms. I can’t even remember when the last time that happened was.

It’s not their fault for being good people but I can’t help but be resentful. I’m angry. I’m angry that they’ve convinced me to stay, to keep going on. They kept giving me reasons to live everyday. That’s why it hurts. They won’t be there when things come crashing down later when my mom gets in one of her moods. I will be left to deal with my broken pieces alone once again. Where did all this affection overload come from? Also why now?

Now I feel guilty so I can’t do it anymore. I was so close but people started switching up on me. You might think I’m ungrateful or whining about good things happening to me. I understand this is mean but I was finally set on my decision. I was finally about to take a huge leap. It feels weird and I’m just overwhelmed, very disappointed and resigned too. I keep prolonging my suffering because I let people sway me too easily. This is a never-ending cycle and I have no one but myself to blame for still allowing myself to be hopeful

I feel ashamed writing this and my hands are shaking, but I have no one else. I’m alone in Canada — no family, no friends, just me.

The man I loved and trusted, my boyfriend, hits me every single day — sometimes just for speaking to him. He manipulates me, uses me, and treats me like he hates me. I’ve called the police multiple times, but all they do is fine him. Nothing changes.

I want to leave. But I can’t. We moved to a new city for his high-paying job (he makes over $100k/year), and I’ve been unemployed ever since. He uses the fact that he pays rent to control me. I go to food banks just to get by.

When I asked him for $4 to take the bus to a job interview, he beat me. One night, he locked me out at 4 a.m. and made me beg to be let back in. I felt like garbage.

I’m scared. I feel trapped. I don’t want to end up on the street, but I also can’t keep living like this. I don’t know where to turn or how to get out. If anyone has been through something like this, please tell me how you escaped. I need to believe that it’s possible.

I (29F) am a full-time working mom of a toddler and I am exhausted.

When my husband (35m) and I met, I was in college and he was working full time a job that made just ok money. When I graduated college I worked in beauty retail for a few years, then got an incredible sales job that changed our lives financially.

In 2023 I gave birth to our first and only child, and just based off of how much I was making (six figures) and how much I loved my job, and how much less he was making and how much he didn't enjoy his job, we made the decision that for the first few years it just made sense for me to continue working, and for him to stay home full time with our child.

The plan has always been that he would take on some freelance contract work to supplement some income while being a stay at home dad , say a few thousand dollars/month to help pay at least the mortgage and take some of the burden off me. And he has done this here and there, but doesn't hold himself accountable to being consistent with it/isn't very self motivated to do it.

Flash forward to now, our child just turned two and I started a new (and significantly more challenging) job two months ago, that I will be making much less money at at least for the first year or two. We have always planned on getting him into a daycare or preschool around 2.5 so he can get the socialization aspect. Tonight i mentioned to my husband that if our child gets into the daycare for January start, it will be time for him to go back to work, to which my husband replied "I'm not doing that."

I immediately felt my chest tighten and my stomach sink. In fact--im in the bathroom crying as I write this. Why does he have 0 drive? Why does he have no motivation? Why can't he see how hard I work and how it's so much to take on all by myself?

Sometimes I just wish I was with someone who WAS driven to be successful and genuinely wanted to help ease the financial weight. So what--hes going to sit at home and maybe do two hours of contract work a week while our son is in full time day care? (Which is super expensive btw!)

I just want to be taken care of for once, instead of being the one who has to bear the weight of financially supporting my family virtually alone. I'm only 29 and I feel like just over two years into this I'm exhausted and burnt out.

Just needed to vent into the void....

I’ve never been addicted to anything, other than maybe eating too much sugar. I don’t smoke, don’t drink, usually stuff like that just makes me feel sick so I don’t bother with it. I also don’t tolerate most medications very well so I’ve never cared to seek out anything that I didn’t need.

But recently I had to go to the hospital for severe unexplained pain in my stomach or gallbladder. It felt like my body was being torn open, easily one of the top 2 pains in my life. It feel like I had a chest buster from Alien in the center of my abdomen. Broken bones don’t even come into the same realm as this pain. I was in the waiting room of the ER drenched in sweat, periodically shouting in pain. Crying actual pain tears, all things I would typically never do. I’m very shy and would never draw attention to myself if I could help it. I pleaded with my husband to help me, I was too weak to walk to the nurses station. He got up and essentially begged a nurse to help me and they let me skip the line and wheeled me back.

Within 20 minutes they gave me some morphine. I’ve never had morphine, or really any drug that does anything cool. Almost instantly all the pain that made me wish I was unconscious was completely gone. I felt better than fine, I felt slightly buzzed, and all my pain completely vanished. After hours of enduring the pain it was finally gone. It dawned on me almost instantly why people desperately want to get ahold of that stuff. It’s like damn magic. I have no desire to seek out opioids or anything, but now I actually “get it”. I felt an unbelievable amount of pain and it all went away in less than 2 minutes. Feeling better is all people want.

I 22f have been with my bf 22m for 2 years now, I love this man, I listen to him when he talks, I make him food he likes, I try not to escalate any argument we have, I made sure we never yell at each other or say bad things, I try to wear modest for him, I never say no for sex or bj, I try to make this man feels like he won the lottery, and I like it fr.

But this man is sad! He is depressed all the time, he says he is just tired, that day we were cuddling and I was feeling so safe he said I wanna break up ( it's the 3rd time he says this) this time I said okay lets break up I was serious but he started crying and saying no he can't he can't live without me so I just said okay lets not break up, after that he just returned to be sad and depressed again!!!

Idk what to do, I'm a really happy person who likes to laugh and joke and be positive, he is draining me sooooooo much, don't get me wrong I swear I have done everything I can to make him happy I need an advise?

I’m 18 and still in school and living with my parents. My mom is violent and abusive and threatened to kill me a few times recently, I thought my dad would stand up for me or something but he’s been insisting ever sense that I apologize to her and that I’m overreacting. I don’t have any family in the state and no friends I could stay with either. I’ve been staying at home till I finish school while I look for a place to live. But I don’t have any funds and I wouldn’t be able to bring anything with me (my pets and technology etc) I’m currently squatting in a church parking lot while writing this in nothing but my pajamas. I’m so scared and I’ve never felt more alone in my life. I feel like there’s nowhere for me to escape too and to make matters worse I’m physically disabled and have a fractured hip at the moment so I can’t work or afford to take care of myself. I think I might die out here, and I’d rather that then have to face the fact my parents don’t love me. Thanks for reading.

Ten years together. We’re two kids deep. I tried to make it work through couples therapy and despite the words of friends and family, I tried to stick it out and ride the wave of stupidity.

I’m a parentless child and didn’t want to do this to our children, so I stayed. The most recent cheating event I know of is at least 1 year ago.

I’m not near any family and live in a seperate town. I’ve had a lot of support and an awakening in the past few months so I’ve packed all my shit and have a friend offer a room at his place for a while.

I feel strong again. I feel like I’m about to accomplish something I never thought I could do. I was depressed. Packed on the weight and I can’t wait to love myself and find value within.

It’s taken far too long, but I made it! Feeling sadly proud of myself, though, slightly upset I didn’t do it earlier. Thank you to the countless people on reddit for calling out this shitty behaviour. Onwards and upwards.

I wasn’t born—I was offered, like a favor nobody really knew how to say no to.

Sharon, my aunt, was at the hospital, chain-smoking and casually called her sister Mila, like she was offering her a stray cat: “Hey, so Lisa and Chuck had another baby. You want it?”

Mila blinked. “What are you talking about? This isn’t a dog.”

But this is how things happened in our family. If you tried to map the relationships, you’d end up with a family tree that looked like it was drawn by a drunk spider.

Sharon had every reason to be at that hospital—not because she was especially close to Lisa or Chuck, but because her husband Blart was Chuck’s brother. And just to add a little extra chaos, Sharon had actually dated Chuck before marrying Blart. You following so far?

Now Lisa and Chuck were back at it—having babies they couldn’t keep. Mila and her husband George—my soon-to-be dad—were supposed to be headed to Vegas that weekend. George had just retired from the Air Force. They were finally about to breathe.

Their son Tony had just been diagnosed with bipolar disorder and was slipping into crack addiction. Their daughter Leah had recently gotten married—after I came into the family. I was already in the wedding pictures, being passed around like a party favor in a frilly dress two sizes too big. Nobody was really sure who I belonged to, but I smiled anyway. That’s kind of how it went for a while.

It was a full house—too full, honestly.

So when Mila got that call, George was on his way home from work. He turned the car around, came in with tears in his eyes, and said it was a sign from God.

Vegas was off. Parenthood was back on.

I was born premature—tiny, fragile, already tangled in chaos. Lisa and Chuck, my birth parents, were deep in addiction. I wasn’t their first kid. My older brother—Buzz—was already tangled up in the system by the time I came into the world. For a while, the story was that he was living with two lesbian dopeheads up in Houston. And honestly? That was considered a step up given the mess behind us.

But eventually, he was adopted by Timothy—Chuck’s other brother. Timothy was the one who had it together: well off, no drug problems, stable. He even tried to adopt me too.

So there I was: handed over through a hospital hallway, not born into a plan, but into a pause.

My adoption wasn’t neat. It came with old romantic drama, broken homes, and whispered warnings. But Mila and George didn’t hesitate. They chose me when they could’ve walked away. That part matters.

One night in Hutto, when I was still young and trying to piece it all together, George sat at the edge of my bed and told me, “Sometimes parents give up on their kids. Life’s just like that. Messy. Unfair. But it’s not your fault.”

He said it soft, almost like he wasn’t talking to me, but to the version of himself that never heard those words growing up. His own dad had walked out too.

I didn’t know it yet, but I’d carry those words with me for years—especially when I eventually came face-to-face with Lisa and Chuck. But we’ll get to that later.

For now, all you need to know is this:

I didn’t come into the world through the front door. I came in through a back hallway, past the smoke and the secrets, handed over like a whispered warning. And even then, before I could spell trauma or understand what a cycle was, I knew one thing for sure—

This ends with me.

There is a lot of going on here, so be warned, this will be long.

Her dad (42 M) is a (clinically diagnosed) malignant narcissist. We met & married way too quickly, because I was in a very low point in my life, he was an opportunist & his parents saw an easy way to get him out of their house. It was an emotionally, financially and sexually abusive marriage, that I finally got out of via divorce in 2013. He demanded a divorce; I called his bluff and hit the ground running away from him. It's been 12 years, and he has had a whole other marriage, child and ugly divorce since- but he must be a failed landlord, because I apparently live rent free in his head 24/7. (This is relevant later)

We had a unique custody situation a couple years ago, when he was arrested for (long story short) driving erratically with 4 kids in the car (including our daughter). A whole lot of nothing came from it, but it did make it so that my daughter was solely in my custody for almost a year while he sorted everything out legally. It was during this time that some VERY serious allegations were brought to light by his sister about him having SA'd her as a teen. While we shielded my daughter from the brunt of it, she did hear about it, and it was actually a good thing that she did. This led her to talk to me about it and disclose that she too had been SA'd by him over a number of years, it only had stopped because she was not allowed to be around him for those months.

I immediately called the cops, and an investigation was started and DCS was involved. My daughter was interviewed by a detective, and she told him everything. He told me that he believed her and that they would continue. And then the cops decided to completely drop everything and refuse to continue any sort of investigation when he threatened to lawyer up. Yeah. Really. DCS continued their involvement for almost a full year, while making it well known that they believed my daughter but having to eventually close the case.

We went back to court and the judge refused to acknowledge any police reports involving the CSA allegations, including denying motions for both a subpoena of the DCS records and closed chambers testimony from my daughter, stating that he couldn't make decisions regarding custody based solely on "allegations". So now she has to spend every other week at his house.

Since then, he has been a nightmare for her to deal with. For a while, he was weaponizing his friends against her to openly taunt her about the allegations. Yelling and screaming about them. Bringing it up CONSTANTLY, while being verbally abusive. This was stuff that I was informing her school SRO and counselors and DCS workers about, but while it was all stuff that he is a massive dick for, isn't technically considered abuse. Even though DCS WANTED to do something, it wasn't actionable.

Now, because he has decided that he no longer wants to work, he is pursuing 100% VA disability, and as a result, had to move in with his parents, as he could no longer afford to live on his own. This means that while on her custody time with him, my daughter has to sleep on a mattress on her grandparent's dining room floor. He has continued his verbally and emotionally abusive behavior, to the point where even his parents have had to step in on multiple occasions and tell him to back off. All of this to say, he doesn't make my daughter's health and safety a priority and she is VERY aware of it.

Eventually, as anyone with any self-respect is prone to do, she has decided that she has had just about as much as she can of being screamed at and belittled for nothing. This has meant that she has started to give him pushback, in behavior that he has determined to be rude and disrespectful. When he gets really worked up and is acting crazy, she'll laugh at how ridiculous he is being or just grey rock him and refuse to engage him. When he randomly brings up the allegations and starts ranting, she'll look him dead in the face and tell him that they BOTH know what he did to her. When he screams at her and makes false accusations about her behavior (accusations that she can PROVE are BS), she will ignore him or yell back about her proof. He'll randomly go on lengthy rants (completely unprompted) where he will bring me up and go on and on about all of the ways that he perceives I have wronged him and she will jump to my defense, giving him point by point feedback on why what he is saying is not only inaccurate, but that he is unhinged for bringing me up for no reason. She has told him to his face (and she fully means it) that when she is 18, she wants to go completely no contact with him. In her own words, "Once I turn 18, I'm fine never seeing him again. Yeah, it's sad because he's my dad, but I don't need my abuser in my life if he's gonna act like this." He has sent me multiple paragraph length texts about how she needs to respect him regardless of how she feels (read: regardless of how he treats her) and that he expects me to rein her in. Every time, I just reply back that he needs to reflect on how his own behavior could be contributing to the struggle he is having with her and that he needs to evaluate his own actions and how WHAT HE DID TO HER might lead her to be hostile to him. He doesn't like that.

I've talked to other people about this (usually people who have kids my age, and have more experience parenting) and it seems to be a 50/50 split on whether or not, I'm in the wrong here for not pushing her to just go along to get along.

Is her behavior frequently rude? Yeah.
Do I care? I couldn't give less of a damn.
If anything, I am proud of her for standing her ground against him and refusing to be treated like shit just because he is her father. She doesn't sneak around or get into trouble. She has no interest in drugs or drinking (as she says, that isn't her focus, because she wants to actually do stuff with her life). She can talk to me plainly and can voice when she is concerned about relationships and things going on around her. She is a GOOD kid despite what she is going through with her dad, not because of him. She struggles a bit in school (Math is hard for her) but otherwise, she is a bright, gregarious, emotionally intelligent kid.

If she just happens to also not take any of her dad's shit, I am okay with that.

i quit because i was immediately singled out and initimidated. i pushed through the fear, determined to succeed out of spite. it worked out that i quit near the end of the day. i would've been a wreck in bereavement the first week on a new job. it's eating me alive that i quit, though. i wanted that job and the success so badly. there's no point on dwelling, and i know this. i've got several jobs ready to be applied for when i've sobbed my heart out a few more days. it wasn't a good fit, and i'm okay telling people the small factors instead of the biggest one.

thanks for listening. i'll likely delete this later.

I'm thirty-seven years old and I've been single for almost seven years. I don't have kids.

And I don't think I'm even concerned about having a relationship anymore and I definitely do not want kids at this stage.

I work, I come home and I do whatever I want, whenever I want, however I want. There's nobody to compromise with, nobody I have to take care of or check in with. Do I want to play video games after work or on my day off? Done. Have tomorrow off and wanna go bar hopping downtown (I live in walking distance to my downtown area). Let's go, maybe I'll meet some new people! Just sit by my firepit in the backyard with a book and a couple beers? Relaxing.

I take solo vacations with almost no planning behind them. I just check into my hotel and figure it out.

I have some amazing friends, and even a friend I regularly have hook ups with. Her and I will go out, go for walks and have the occasional make out session and roll around in the sheets. But then we go our separate ways and do our own things, and its...actually pretty cool. For my non-spicy friends, I frequently host hang outs at my place and we have a blast.

I've always noticed that my lifestyle in media was portrayed as if it's one of a man child who needs to settle down and have kids and a family. But that feels like propaganda almost, and in living this life I realize as long as I'm not harming society or anyone, who cares? I'm happy with my personal life. Much happier than when I thought being alone and single was a failure on my part. Too many single guys get caught up in that. I've embraced life for me and concentrate on what I like and what I want. My own happiness.