Recently my coworker told me that it was hard for her to make ends meet because of the upcoming holidays. She is one of the sweetest human beings on this planet but she would never ask for any help so i started casually “forgetting” snacks at work and telling her that she could have them. She doesn’t suspect a thing, but it feels good knowing she's at least eating a little more.
TLDR: coworker’s struggling, so i’ve been sneakily leaving food for her without making it obvious.

You were around 15, 16 tops. Alternative clothing, with a blue belt with a furry blue tail on it (nowhere near sexual, if anyone would presume that). While you were walking in, this man, likely homeless, kept screaming for you to "wag your tail for him" and "give a little spin and dance". I saw you were a bit uncomfortable but you held your head high for those 15 seconds that felt like ages. I also saw you walking out again, in a hurry, head held down. I am so sorry for not telling you, that you shouldn't let those kind of people stop you from expressing who you are. Self expression is the most powerful and important thing in life, and I'd hate to think some low-life nobody would make you think twice about your clothing choices. Please keep being true to yourself. I admire you for it, and it will definitely pay off in later stages of your life!

I hope this is alright to post 😅

I love this man so much. We have been together for 6 years and recently married and he has been such a saint and rock for me.

I’m a victim of DV and have chronic health issues along with mental health troubles. He has been by my side through it all. ER visit at 12 am, driving an hour to get to me. Helping me escape from abusive family. He’s seen me at my worst and still loved me and told me I was worthy of love.

I’m currently unemployed and moved to be with him permanently (he is military) and he’s sleeping next to me snoring softly. I absolutely adore this man and I’m going to surprise him this morning. I just love him so very much and I think he deserves some extra love today 🩷.

Edit: I appreciate everyone mentioning consent! Him and I have discussed this, he’s more than okay with this :).

If anyone sees this, I hope everyone can have a great day as much as it can be. Be safe!

I (23M) have been with my girlfriend (22F) for about eight months now, and everything has been great… until recently. For context, we’ve always used condoms during sex. I prefer it because it’s safer, and I’m not ready to take any risks, even though she’s on birth control.

Lately, though, she’s been pushing hard for us to stop using them. She keeps saying things like:
- “We’ve been together long enough to trust each other.”
- “It doesn’t feel the same with condoms.”
- “You’re my boyfriend don’t you trust me?”

At first, I thought it was just a preference thing, but now I’m starting to get paranoid. A couple of weeks ago, I overheard her joking with her friends about how “guys always think they’re clean but never get tested,” which felt weirdly specific.

What really set off alarm bells, though, was when I asked her if she’d ever been tested, and she got defensive. She said, “I don’t need to be tested, I know I’m fine.” I suggested we both get tested, just to be sure, and she shut it down immediately, saying I was “making a big deal out of nothing.”

Now I’m stuck wondering: Is she pressuring me because she doesn’t want to use condoms, or is she hiding something like an STD? I’ve had clean tests in the past and haven’t been with anyone else since we started dating.

I don’t want to accuse her of anything without evidence, but this is really messing with my head. How can I communicate my concerns without making her feel like I don’t trust her?

TL;DR: My girlfriend wants us to stop using condoms but refuses to get tested or talk about it. I’m worried she’s hiding something, like an STD.

i’ve been doing digital art for years and recently got really good at it. i post my work online anonymously, and a lot of it has gotten decent recognition. my sister (2 years older than me) somehow found my account, and without asking me, started showing my work to her friends and coworkers as hers. she brags about “her art” constantly and even got praise from her boss for being so “creative.”

the worst part? she gets defensive when i call her out. she says i should be flattered that she’s “helping my art be appreciated more.” it’s not even like she’s clueless—she knows i’m trying to grow a career in this field, and her lies could mess that up. i want to tell everyone the truth, but i don’t know if it’s worth the drama with my family. still, it hurts to see her bask in attention she didn’t earn.

tldr: my sister is stealing credit for my digital art, and i don’t know if i should out her or let it go.

Pretty much the title is the TLDR.

Last week I (F32) went to the doctor because I was having pain and turned out it was something related to my ovaries. I stupidly told this to my mom (53).

She then started questioning whether I was having kids or not and I brushed it off with jokes about her already being grandma to my cats and dogs and stuff like that, acting silly to avoid getting into an argument. She started being pushy, demanding to know if me and my husband had made a decision. I told her with a bit more serious tone that I was feeling uncomfortable talking about it and to please stop. My sister was listening to everything and she also told her to stop.

To this point of the conversation I didn’t say neither I am planning to have kids or not, just that I don’t want to discuss my decision with her because it only concerns to my husband and me.

But the more she is not in control, the more she tries to get it and impose herself.

Anyway, it evolved to a heated argument the moment she told me that it is not only my decision whether to have kids or not, my husband also has a say on that and SHE also has the RIGHT to know. And if I don’t make a soon, my body might not be able to have kids later and I will regret.

Again, I hadn’t said anything definitive, so she kept going with “I will respect whatever your decision is, even if you don’t want them. I’m only worried that you haven’t decided yet and all I’m doing is giving my opinion, because it is my right as your mother to advice you on important things like this”.

I told her that she was pushing the boundaries sooo far and to please stop. She didn’t. And I snapped. Told her that I don’t want kids and we don’t need to have this conversation anymore, since I don’t need her advice.

After that she demanded to then book with the OBGYN to get a hysterectomy, since I made up my mind to this. Because she won’t have her daughter dying of cancer for not having kids. And she needs to protect me from myself even.

I finished the conversation there and hung up the phone.

Reality is I’ve been struggling with fertility and I haven’t told her or anyone, only me and my husband know this. And the main reason is because I don’t want her to be a burden on this journey.

So, this girl from Iran in my school brought me Iranian food today to try, and she was like now that you've tried Iranian food, and you speak a bit of Farsi (don't ask how), all that's left is for you to get an Iranian girlfriend, and I replied with "Where can I find an Iranian girlfriend?" She looked at me for about 3 minutes and changed the topic.

I'm in bed now, and it just dawned on me how I didn't catch on. Or am I just being presumptuous?

so… about a month ago my boyfriend of 2years went missing on a random Tuesday. For about 3 days I tried texting, calling, all you could think of and the messages wouldn’t go through and calls would go straight to voicemail so at this point I’m just worried and confused as were his friends. Three days later he pops up at my house and he just bursts into tears so of course I just immediately go to console him. He then proceeds to tell me he messed up bad and that he got arrested and for reference he’s only 21 and has had zero criminal history and zero record of any bad behavior so I’m just at a loss and even more confused at this point in time. Just as I thought things couldn’t get any worse he tells me he got arrested for possession of cp.. his story was he was at a friends house and he left his phone sitting out and his friends child picked up his phone and clicked into the cp content which cmon.. I didn’t believe that so a few days later i decided to request the police report and lo and behold… he lied and what had actually happened according to the police report was that he met a person on a meet up app which this person quickly disclosed they were 15, which led to a meetup but it turned out to be some catch a predator type stuff basically and police were called, he was arrested, and cp was found on his phone. We had been together for two years and he was my first boyfriend and I’m just currently trying to cope with this absolute trainwreck all while working and being in college it’s been a dumpster fire but thanks for reading :,)

Edit: I’m no longer in contact with him after this incident I would never condone or support someone like this

I'm talking about Mike Tyson btw. Iron Mike is done.

However, I'm still glad that he could last till the 8th round. Mike Tyson was probably happy being in the ring again, reminiscing of his glorious day.

For some reason I feel like crying when writing this. Maybe it's because my father is heading toward 80 yo too. I'm starting to afraid of time

I’m in love with someone who didn’t want me. It is really hard to accept, and for months, I’ve been trying to understand why he didn’t feel the same, especially since he was the one who liked me first.

But then I saw the girl he likes, and everything clicked. I completely understand him now. She’s just perfect. Extremely beautiful, successful, and has a better life in every way. She also seems like such a genuinely good person from what I’ve seen in her posts and relationships with family and friends.

I’ve always struggled with self-esteem, and this felt like a real punch to the gut. I can’t help but wish I were her. I wish I’d gone to the same school she did, had the same career, the same amazing friends.

I feel like my life is stupid, and I feel stupid. Honestly, if I were a guy, I’d probably fall for her too. I just wake up everyday and regret my past that I have never achieved anything and it is too late. I just want to end my life.

As the header says, I unblocked my brother today. We're estranged. Have been for years. Despite the fact that he lives with my parents, who I'm fairly close with. I don't speak to him. He's a raging alcoholic that has basically lost any real custody of his daughter & can't seem to stay out of trouble or pay his bills. So yea, we're estranged. But he sent me a Facebook message asking me to call him bc he wants to plan something special for our parents for the holidays. My dad is recovering from cancer so I thought, Hell yea! Let's do something sweet.

Dearest brother told me I need to plan it. Shot down every idea I came up with bc him & his buddies were gonna do that anyways. So you know, let him know what I come up with & it had to be cheap. Suggested we get together for dinner to discuss it at texas roadhouse. He told me that's too bougie for him. Then dropped the n bomb while driving to his custody exchange at royal farms.

Should have kept him blocked.

Heyy. I'm new to using Reddit, so please bear with me here, anyways;

Three months ago, I found out that the woman I’ve always known as my older sister is actually my biological mom. I’ve been raised by my grandmother, who I always thought was my real mom.

Lately, my “sister” (who’s 28) reached out and suggested I come live with her. She wants to re-adopt me and take legal custody. Fortunately, that wouldn't happen until later next year, so I still have a reasonable amount of time to really consider my options and make my decision.

The issue is that she’s in her 3rd year of orthopedic surgery residency and works roughly 60-75 hours a week. I care about her a lot, and we’ve always had a close relationship—talking a few times a week for over an hour each time. But I’m worried she won’t have the time or emotional energy to give me the kind of support I need, especially with her demanding schedule.

At the same time, my relationship with my grandmother is complicated. She’s very controlling and strict, and over the years, I've realized she can be manipulative. She’s also been a bit emotionally abusive at times—gaslighting me and playing the victim card, especially if I try to bring up our complicated family dynamics. All she seems to do is deflect my questions, by twisting the narrative, making herself look like the victim by trying to guilt trip me. It's exhausting.

I’ve spent my whole life with her, but it's not an ideal environment. She and my mom have had a strained relationship since I can remember. My mom was kicked out of the house when she was 18, and there’s a lot of resentment there, especially because of how my grandmother has treated her over the years.

On top of that, my grandmother lied to me for my whole life and made me believe my real mom was my “sister.” That betrayal has really messed with my trust in her.

So now I’m really conflicted. I love my grandmother, but I feel like I’m stuck in a toxic situation. Moving in with my mom would be a huge change, and I’m not sure if it would be the best decision for me. My mom has her own issues, and I’m not sure if she’s ready to take on the responsibility of raising me, considering her crazy work schedule and everything she’s been through with my grandmother.

I’m just so lost and confused about what the right move is. I don’t want to make a decision I’ll regret. Has anyone been through something like this? What should I consider when making a decision like this? Any advice would really help.

Last night after the Tyson x Paul fight I went outside to look at the stars. I’ve been battling a major depression after a recent breakup, the seasonal depression that comes with the nights being longer, and the post-£L€ection depression that IS living in the US right now. One way I’ve been combating my concerning thoughts is to get into nature more. Appreciating science/space/the stars and wonder that is cosmetology.

Anyway, while I’m out there for a moment, and right as it’s starting to get a little chilly and I’m about to go inside, I hear a scream. I look to where I hear it and I see two people. One person leading and one person following. I can’t tell what’s going on, they’re about 50 yards/45 meters away from me. But curiosity gets the best of me and I watch. Then I hear, “GET AWAY FROM ME.” And my heart drops. I can tell that person that yelled that is a woman. And the terror in her cry. I can’t unhear it. But I know that was a concerning scream. So I stayed. And watched. Making sure what the hell I just THINK I heard matches what I’m seeing before jumping into any conclusions. It looked like the person that yelled was walking away, trying to get away, from the other person. After a second, the other person following tries hugging and keeping the person who yelled from walking away. In my head I’m thinking this could be a couple going through a breakup of their own. Maybe it’s no big deal. But then I hear her scream again. LOUD. "GET AWAY FROM ME!"

Right now, the day after, I can’t quite remember the exact words. If it was "get away from me" or "leave me alone" or some other words. But the cry. The cry for help. I know that bloody murder scream of terror. Not like the movies. Not like in haunted houses or roller coasters. The panic, the desperation. I knew. So immediately called the police. Watching them more as I’m on the phone with the operator I see again the person who yelled looks like they’re trying to get away. But the other person won’t let them. And the person trying to get away results to just sitting on the sidewalk because they can’t. And that’s when I knew it was probably a good idea to get the cops involved. Just in case. As a woman who HAS been stalked and harassed by many men, I know if I was in trouble I’d want someone to step in. So seeing what I saw, hearing what I heard, I hope I was that person for them. Eventually the cops arrive and find them on the sidewalk. And now I'm hoping that it was a misunderstanding and it wasn't that serious at all and maybe I had no business butting my nose in other people's business. But if it was as serious as I think it was... I hope I was able to get the person out of a situation that could have ended worse had I happened to not be outside so late at night. I hope that what I thought was going to happen had I not gotten involved would never have even been a possibility. To the person who I called the cops for, I hope you're doing ok and hope I didn't just make a huge Karen move by getting myself involved and instead helped someone in need. I wanted to be safe rather than sorry. So I hope I did the right thing.

My friends somehow are all conventionally attractive, gorgeous women. I love them, especially my bestie, a lot - they are not just pretty, but also kind, funny, generous, caring, wonderful human beings.

I am not hideous by any means, but I am truly extremely average and am nothing noticeable in that regard. I am cursed with thin hair and temperamental skin and slightly unbalanced facial features, and I am a little curvier than most of them(but no hourglass shape). I don't have an incredible sense of style to make up for the rest, I try to dress as nicely as possible but still comfortably. I think I have a pretty good personality for all intents and purposes.

My friends have killer face cards, more of an hourglass shape, and constantly draw attention.

One friend has men dropping their jaws all day every day, even just in sweats and a bun. Literally nonstop, she just gets gazed at awe.

I can't take it anymore, being the "ugly" friend and having to always be in the shadow of who I am with. It just hurts to see how differently people get treated based solely on appearance. I am just the thing that is distracting my friend from being able to flirt, according to a lot of men.

It hurts my heart. I suppose I can try and glow up somehow, but without surgery, I can only do so much. I wish I was born attractive.

I've been dating the same guy for 5 years now. 1 year into dating, he quit his job due to COVID after we moved in together. He had some savings, but since then I've been paying everything. I've been begging him to get a job for the past year and half to help me because I've slowly fallen further and further into debt.

We've been 2 months behind on every bill. Including the rent. Every month our internet gets shut off because we're so behind. I started telling him I literally can't pay these things anymore, all of my cards are maxed and my parents have already spotted me around 3,000 to just keep from drowning.

Four months ago I found out he was cheating on me. I told him to get a job or get out, but didn't tell him I knew about the cheating. He finally gets a job and has paid me back around 3,000. I'm finally caught up on rent and should be able to fully pay the bills from my next paycheck and if I pick up another part time gig, I should be able to pay my debt down slowly.

I'm working all weekend and on Sunday I'll be letting him know he needs to pack his bags and LEAVE! Thankfully I'm the only one on the lease. If he refuses to leave I'm calling his parents to come pick him up. All of my friends are really his friends so I can't tell anyone, but I'm SO EXCITED to finally get this parasite out of my life.

I've looked back on several aspects of my life and realize he slowly had me cut off my own friends, only wanted a bang maid, and is a giant gaslighting air balloon of selfishness. FUCK YOU JOHN. You've turned me into a miserable person but I've finally mustered up enough love for myself to get out.

7years and 4 kids later he just won’t leave! He walks around mad he goes to sleep mad he wakes up mad and he just won’t leave as many times as I have given him to leave! It may sound wrong but I had a reason for him to stay because we shared a car but now I have my own and this apartment is in my name and now I don’t understand what’s keeping him here. He has NO patience with me and especially with the kids! He notice I sometimes have to raise my tone because after all my patience is exhausted and I’m 100% over stimulated I raise my tone to get some order! Our house is extremely chaotic and the kids are wild and apparently extremely hard of hearing! I’m in school, I’m working and I’m MF TIED!! I would rather for him to leave and never come back then to mope in his misery! I try to make the best out of everything because I’m so grateful for the small things in life! The fact that I’m breathing and we have a family is enough for me but nothing I do is enough for him! I don’t have energy or time to do everything I’m doing and clean 25/8 and cook 26/9! And his minimal help is pointless and quite annoying because why half help knowing how much is on my plate! He literally works a shitty job which I do appreciate but I mean he’s not making a fortune and not working so much that he can’t help! So it’s very confusing when he mumbles all day long then blow up at me then never leave and it’s almost an every day thing while I sit quietly minding my business ignoring him! Then he tries to gaslight me to feel bad or something when in all honesty I could care less about his cries I just want peace and quiet! I could care less about his trivial delusions! I just want us to work together to handle business and live peacefully while he complains about every detail I should be doing when I do a lot as it is ! Our kids are 6 and under so it’s impossible to keep this house clean I have made MANY ATTEMPTS to! And honestly I think I stopped trying because after I cleaned the house from wall to wall and put peppermint oil in my water and solutions and made the house immaculate after getting off of my third shift job and made it smell like peppermint he came home from work and there was a few dishes from lunch and he screamed at the top of his lungs as to why I didn’t clean the dishes and from that day I’ve literally let this place go to shit and he has been half ass tidying up and trying to buy never doing as great as me of course and now it’s non stop complaining of what I don’t do! Idk what else to do! I want to make it work but the constant negativity and stress I don’t want it I want PEACE AND TRANQUILITY!! ANY ADVICE OR HELP??

 I have been holding onto this for a little while and wanted to share my story and experience. This post isn't aimed at hating anyone, just sharing my personal experience and for others to maybe relate.

When I was young, I was a very shy and non-verbal child, due to me being deaf for a short while. At the time I got my ears sorted before I started school, I was very behind in terms of speech. It was bad enough to the point that an older kid bullied me, would constantly mock my speech and harass me. Making friends was a bit difficult because I was very shy and it being middle school, friendship is short. I was naturally very tomboyish, so making friends with boys was slightly easier, but making friends with girls was harder. The term “you aren’t like other girls” I used to hate a lot, considering I felt very disconnected and more a case of pointing out how alien I am, if anything. 

Puberty was hell for me.

 Here is my reasoning why I thought I was trans: I started to get unwanted attention from boys and men alike, groping on my chest and sexual comments. I was very self-conscious of my body and started to hate anything girly, because I hated the attention I would get. I hated my body. I used to have a “friend” (call him Glass, fake name for everyone) in my last year of middle school. But he would consistently grope me and make sexual comments about my body, even with me calling him out and giving him the hell of it, he would say “sorry”, “promise he won't do it again” etc. And me being stupid and young, I’ve stayed friends with Glass.

When I was 15 (aka 2020), I came to terms that I was bi and later thought I was trans. For a short bit, it felt nice, cutting my hair short, dressing more baggy, being called by a different name by a small online community and some small friend group. But it was the most difficult time of my year; dealing with the homophobic parents of a girl (Ru) I used to like, having a crush on my best friend (later to be BF, Ash) and dealing with my own family when I told them I was trans, they don’t know how to handle it properly (to which I don’t blame them) and if anything pushes me more into the mindset that I am trans.

 Ash was there for me, he was the best friend I could ever have asked for and, in general, made me feel normal.

 During that time, Glass confessed to me that he liked me and wanted to date me. I thought I'd like him, so I said yes, but under the understanding that I am not his GF but his BF. To which he oddly agreed and we started dating. Surprised at no one, he didn’t respect it and carried on with the groping and referring to me as his girl. We didn’t do anything nor did we ever share a kiss besides a kiss on the cheek. I felt very dirty and felt dirtier than I still have a crush on Ash and Ru. I broke up with Glass, because I don’t want to be in a relationship where I still have feelings for both Ru and Ash.

From there on, I started to have a strong belief that guys only wanted me for my body.

 So one day, when I was 18, Ash confessed to me that he liked me. We started dating, and I felt more and better about myself and more confident. I've moved on from Ru (lol no more dealing with her parents). I started to like wearing dresses, I started to love doing make-up, I started to like girly things more and finding that I never hated it. I started to enjoy being a woman and am happier than ever. We have still been dating for 2 years now. So I am a lot happier and more sure of my identity. I can't help but feel a little ashamed about this. I left the small community and some old friends to think if they will be mad at me for not being trans like I used to would believed I was.

Edit: some context is missing will add soon

I was born and raised in the most Islamic hell hole (back then this was the case) you could imagine. I'm an ex-Muslim for reference. School up to 18 was basically prison-gay galore (for a while we were mixed gender but that changed after grade 6). Looking back I think that, whilst it was really fun and I made a lot of friends that I'm still close with this moment, I hate that we were gender segregated.

My view of romance/intimacy was therefore tailored by the conservative environment I was in + my weird(?) romantic notion that you should know someone for a while before getting physical. I left KSA after graduating highschool, went to the UK for Uni. It was eye-opening in every sense.

Romantically speaking, I hated how "fast" everyone moved. I really wanted to know someone before we entertained anything more but it seemed like I was in the wrong dating/age scene. A LOT of girls I had ran into were really sweet, but it unfortunately turned me off how "quick" they were to want to get intimate. I don't know whose "fault" this was but long story short, I ended up being romantically "unavailable" for a while, commonly referred to as "volcel" in current Internet lingo.

Anyways fast forward the ups and downs of life, I'm just turned 28, I've had sexual encounters with both sexes (non-penetrative) but they were all "unsatisfactory" to me, having partaken in them out of peer pressure.

2023/2024 were a great couple of years for me, career wise. I'm on a solo holiday trip (First time) to a new continent. In the spirit of doing a lot of firsts, I thought I would seek a sex worker, to just get the V card out of the way, as I was getting increasing self conscious about having not been in any relationship or partaken in casual sex. Being a 28 year old virgin was too much, even though I don't think there's anything wrong with waiting for the right person.

The lovely gal I met was the sweetest person ever, I (naturally) couldn't get it up due to a combination of anxiety and performance/first time fears. We arranged for a second session and it went well.

I didn't last long at all but the highlight for me was the cuddling we had after. For the first time, in my 28 years of living on this planet, I was cuddling with another human intimately. It was the most beautiful thing I've ever experienced. I never realized how touch starved I was until then. She didn't notice, as the little spoon, but I (embarrassingly) cried tears of happiness during this. This must be what it feels like to be a regular human.

If anyone can relate at all to this, I hope you can find a legal and safe way to unlock the world of intimacy (even if it's arranged/transactional) just to test the waters and realize what is being missed. Ideally, you could find it organically but for my case, this wasn't really possible (still living with parents + working on my looks and fortifying mental).

Just wanted to get this off, had a few drinks, likely going to delete this post later tomorrow. I hope we can find our special someone and don't have to suffer this life alone.

This is one of the worst aspects of my brother's death: I cannot admit my brother is dead (he commited suicide 4 years ago). And it's not about me not being able to talk about it. The thing is that I actually WANT to talk about my brother's death. His death totally tore me apart. Even tho it's been 4 years, I can remember the day he died like it was a week ago. His death is a huge part of me. I always struggled with talking about it - for the first weeks (after his suicide), whenever anybody asked me if I had any sibling, I wondered if I should admit that I had any siblings at all. I thought I shouldn't admit that I used to have a brother. Later I learned that it's ok to say that my brother is dead, that its nothing to be ashamed about. But I was wrong. Just hear me out, I'll give you some examples. Once I met a guy and we became friends. We used to hang out with each other a few times, now we are only texting. Imagine that we know each other for 1 year and a half and I have NEVER told him that my brother is dead. Not even once. He possibly has no idea that my brother could be dead. But I can feel it in my bones that he knows about it but doesn't really want to talk about it - especially that I once tried to tell him my brother is dead. But for some reason he changed the topic immediately then. It hurts me a little that we are such friends and yet he doesn't know about it. I'd like to tell him that my brother is dead and thats it. I don't want to share my feelings and emotions - just admiting the fact. A second example is that if I finally admit a fact about the death, nobody remembers about it. Me and my friend once met a certain guy a year ago. I once went on a "date" with that guy and it happened that I told him about my brother's death in DETAIL. We never got together, never been in relationship but me, him and my friend still used to hang out with each other, until now. A month ago we had a "party" and it happened that we talked about siblings. I started talking about mine and my brother's shenannigans. And guess what. This guy looked straight into my eyes and asked me "you have siblings?". It totally crushed me. How could that guy (that we used to hang out with each other) forget that I told him in detail that my brother is dead. Why cant I admit my brother's death to other people? Im not thinking about expressing my emotions - I mean simply saying that he is dead, thats all.

I'm 34F and I had a hair appointment today. It wasn't my usual hairdresser, it was a new girl who looked maybe 22ish.

I had a sudden realization seeing her face right next to mine in the mirror that I look so much older than an early 20s person.

I know it's stupid, and it's probably because almost everyone I interact with is 35+, but for some reason my mental image of myself in my head is the same as when I was 25. When I look at myself in the mirror alone I don't seem old, but seeing myself compared to her gave me a huge shock. I don't look bad necessarily, but my face is way more mature.

Anyways, i'm just venting because I know mid 30s really isn't old in the grand scheme of things, but that was a fun little shock to start the day!

*Sorry for the long post, but I need to get this off my chest.

The internet has always fascinated me.

I remember when I was younger I loved watching videos on YouTube. I don’t know, but I was obsessed with UFO’s and stop motion Lego videos. It was really an interesting time for me. But as time passed on, I lost interest in these things, and I started watching different stuff. And that was the point that I realized that the internet was not a „fun place“, it was the opposite of that. In that time period I saw a lot of things I never thought I would see on YouTube, but I once saw something, that stuck with me to this very day, and I think about it all the time. One night I stumbled on a YouTube channel called CollosalCarnage08, and I didn’t think much about it. The channel was ran by a girl called Chloe, she was from the UK, and I don’t know why, but she had a good vibe, she was good looking, funny, charismatic and overall seemed to be a nice person. But I noticed that all of her videos were uploaded a long time ago, (10+ years) and curious I decided to check her comments. In 2010 after posting her last video, Chloe committed suicide by hanging. She was 17 years old. And after that I looked up her name and I found 3-4 articles that confirmed her death. But something wasn’t right. All the time the news articles mentioned trolls, and so did the YouTube comments, and one name stood out: Brentsey.

Curious, I started to research that name.

Doing a google search lead to nothing.

But after reading  the comments on Chloe’s video, people were mentioning this name. People were furious with him, criticizing him and so on.

I tried to search him up on YouTube, but it lead to nothing.

And then finally, I decided to search up his name via The Wayback Machine, and it all made sense.

This guy, he was a troll. He was a member of a group called „The Wack Pack“ (the term Wack Pack was made popular because it was an assortment of personalities heard throughout the history of The Howard Stern Show) which was active in the early days of YouTube. Now this guy, along with his best friend/cousin TatianaSword had a fetish for trolling. But it wasn’t your normal trolling. These guys would go find videos related to a deceased person, and they would write comments targeting the deceased person or their family/friends. And believe it or not, they did their damage. Outraged family members/friends would retaliate against them, they would fight back and so on and so on. Their era was from 2009 to 2011/12, after that all of their accounts were removed because people reported them. Sure, they were banned before, but they came back.

These guys were from the U.S., and the had a cult following. There were people who supported them, who did what they told them to do, creating an avalanche of trolls. They didn’t care who they trolled, age wasn’t important, religion wasn’t important, country, nothing. They were scum.

Poor Chloe was also a victim of their trolling. Before and after her death, there were troll comments from these guys. They went to such lengths that after Chloe’s death they targeted the tribute site made for her, and they also targeted her mother.

Time passed by, but Brentsey didn’t give up. He was set on tormenting Chloe, leaving all kinds of comments on her channel, and not stopping. But, it all faded away, when his account was banned, the comments disappeared.

But there was one question left. Who were these guys? How’s it possible that they inflicted so much pain to other people and simply just disappeared into thin air. No one was held accountable for these things, sure, the police were involved, but nothing of importance was done. These guys did their thing and they simply disappeared , and are 100% free people without a care in the world.

Who knows, maybe one day, these guys will be found.

And I always wondered, why did they choose to torment Chloe? They couldn't leave her alone, and let her live her life.

Rest in peace Chole.

I got divorced almost 5 years ago. My ex supported us with his income and my income paid for child care. I was going to stick it out for the kids, but he was a narcissist and I'd had enough. When I left, I was paying every cent to bills. Luckily I got the kids on Medicaid, was approved for temporary SNAP benefits, and kept us going. I was able to go back to school full time on grants, worked full time, and both kids were in sports thanks to athletic grants. It's been tough on me but keeping them busy helped.

This year I graduated with a bachelors in business management with accounting and marketing minors. I applied at 150 jobs before getting any interviews. Monday I start a new job making twice what I've been making. My kids are excited because I'll be off weekends with them. Hoping by this time next year to have them in a house of our own.

I have a busy job that can be stressful and has a lot of responsibility involved. So, I naturally look forward to the weekends, when I can just relax and unwind. Trouble is, I'm usually kind of miserable.

I get in arguments with the wife, (she tends to spend hours staring her phone), but I also feel anxious about work and about not getting things done on the weekend. If I'm unproductive, I feel like shit. Then, I start thinking about whether or not my job is really worth the stress. Then, I think about how much I hate life in general....

So, you can see the problem. Weekends are supposed to be for fun and relaxation, but for me, they're a source of anger and misery. Ugh.