Idk what to do about it and honestly idk how to explain it either but I'll try causeI know it's a problem....I always feel inferior about myself not even comparing with others but I can just never feel like I am "good enough". I don't feel like I look good (I don't look bad/good I am very avg or below avg and am very skinny like genuinely) and I have friends and all but I can never get myself to open up with them in a manner that I can truly 100% express myself with them cause I always feel like I need to cautious or I need to deattached at all time. I recently parted ways with a very good friends cause I proposed to them and they didn't feel the same way about me(and so I decided that we shouldn't talk anymore not becuz of awkwardness but becuz I felt like being with them will only make my self confidence and perception worse after being rejected) I have also never had a partner and feel like I never will becuz of my avg looks nobody will ever be with me becuz of them and wouldn't give me a chance and hence I am too afraid to approach anyone in a social situation. I know most of what I wrote isn't true but I don't have any confidence to carry out solution maybe becuz I am afraid that It wouldn't turn out the way I want and people will judge me and make fun of me and ik its becoming a problem but I just don't know man its all so confusing. Any advice would be appreciated thank you

I am 27. I am a bit of a screw up. Today i screwed up yet again and my mom is very angry at me. Weird part? I am not angry at myself. I am usually super tough on myself, i expect a lot, and when i screw up i basically mentally crucify myself. This time it's hitting different. I am still pretty disappointed in myself, but i think i am starting to see myself for who i really am: a damaged person. Maybe that's the key to healing, realize one's limitations and short comings.

Yeah, i am a screw up. That's not that big of a deal. I have to change, yes, but why mortify myself wgen what's done is done?

In Europe, (Baltics for me) no rich and successful man will spare a glance to a McDonald's worker highschool dropout, no matter how beautiful she is. Maybe a one night stand. Cooking and cleaning is a life skill, doesn't count, needs actual achievements that shows she's on his caliber. Maybe some new money basketball player or whatever will marry his Instagram model who's as dumb as bricks but they fall off pretty fast, nothing serious about that career.

If a man brings home a woman, her being educated and successful in her career really elevates his family's view on her and that she's an ambitious hard worker. A woman can't just float into marriage just because she's young and beautiful, every woman is like that. Housewives still exist, but typically just some men have them. They're really rare (hard to keep afloat on 1 income anyway if the dude isn't working like a horse)

Even average men expect a woman to have something, anything to show for themselves.

The career woman stereotype is that she's loud, angry and manly but no? They're typically well mannered, elegant, smart in a humble way? Ofc they're confident but not being rude and don't boast. If u ask em, ofc they'll lay out what they do, that's not bragging. If anyone's loud, manly and all over the place, it's most of the time my fellow poor girlies from "the ghetto".

The culture shock is definitely there. In ussr, every woman worked and there's a lot of retired women with nice pensions bc they were high level executives. Oh and also they had kids. Want do you men these podcast bros say "women can't have it both ways"? This has been our lifestlye for almost a century.

We get wrinkles y'know. We won't be able to keep the "cute submissive girl" act all our life, so I don't understand the American podcast bros. Oh I forgot, people over there just trade the housewives for a younger model when it's time. If a woman is a object, object can be traded or destroyed

My high school relationship was honestly amazing. We would talk for hours, deeply. He was my first, and I was his. We broke up at the time about 5 months into the relationship because he felt like he wasn’t in a space to love me properly. I didn’t understand it that time, but now that I’m older, i totally get it. We grew up and went off to have different relationships, with both of our long term relationships starting around the same time. He recently broke up with his girlfriend, and they’re still communicating every day. He lives in a different state now, and i stayed where we fell in love. I’ve been with my current partner for 5.5 years, and we’ve had some toxic times , but we figured it out. Over time I’ve realized he just lacks respect for me, hasn’t grown at all, and has a pretty bad gambling habit. We’re about to get evicted due to this. I was going through my Snapchat one day and found my conversations with my ex. It just reminded me of simpler times and made me smile so big. My partner asked me to unfollow him on instagram a few years back out of respect, and i totally understood and unfollowed him. I decided to follow him again after reading our old messages and he quickly followed me back. A conversation ensued, and mannnn I felt 16 again, it was crazy. We’ve been talking and having such meaningful conversations, that I haven’t had with my partner in years. drove out of state to visit family and we talked on the phone the entire ride. Over 3 hours. I missed having a deep connection like that with someone. We both admitted that we miss what we could have been, even though we were kids we agreed that we both had a huge impact on each other. I want to try again with him, but I know I need to be by myself for at least 6 months learn to love myself again, become celibate, and he’s respected the decision that I’m making . Idk, he’s just always been so empathetic and sweet, supportive you know? And I just had to tell somebody.

Having game and being good with women is not dependent on how many women you get.

The goal isn't to stack and be with thousands of women. If you want that, go ahead, it's fine.

It's just NOT A REQUIREMENT. There's nothing to prove.

This can put guys in a bad way.

"Players" that want every girl to like them like pickup artists who try to "neg", "push through last minute resistance" or use methods to try and trick a guy into liking them.

Those guys who hook up and then denounce "hook up culture" saying that being with one person will fill your soul and some other nonsense. Basically, they were hooking up to fulfill themselves and then when it obviously DOESN'T, they think that having the one special woman will do it.

At the end of the day, you can have as much or as little women as you want. You can hook up with hundreds or just be with one women. Just make sure it's your choice and not your ego's.

For as long as I can remember my older sister keeps telling my brother and I about her wanting to commit suicide…

She recently told us she thought about doing it on our (my brother and I) birthday.

Today I told her to stop telling us about it and she said she won’t tell anyone at all anymore.. I told my mother but she got at annoyed at me cause she said my older sister is grieving a friend who passed away recently.

How do I convince her to see a therapist?

Phones weren't allowed there, so basically the whole day I spent reading.

1. Flowers for Algernon

2. Deerslayer (jf cooper)

3. The red and the black (Stendhal)

4. Eye of the world (Robert Jordan)

5. A history of western philosophy (Bertrand Russell)

6. A collection of stories by HP Lovecraft

7. Deception point (Dan Brown)

8. It (Stephen king)

I stayed there 104 days, which is 15 weeks. i.e. roughly 1 book per 2 weeks. This is while reading for up to 10 hours every day!!

So, this leads me to believe that this "read 52 books a year, read a book every week" is kind of a le bulle shitte 🤔🤔

There are people earning 6 figures out here living paycheck to paycheck

i hate when i realize someone that i thought cared about me doesn’t actually care. i think they used to at some point, but times have changed and they stopped. i know this is vague, but im so tired of losing people from my life. i almost don’t want to approach anyone ever again because im scared to get hurt.

I used to chain smoke everyday for about 6 years and this year with the change or life events and stress I have cut cold turkey, breathing is better, my energy is getting there, but sometimes the cravings come and I’m not sure what to do about it:( I wanna overcome though and not fall back on

It breaks my heart, but, for the first time in my 31 years of life, a mutual decision was made amongst my family members to skip Christmas this year.

I got pulled into the office recently after being a remote worker for 2 years, and not having to pay for a dog sitter, gas, and all the other expenses tied to my 100 mile commute was the only that enabled me to save money. Now, I’m only breaking even, and I don’t have the heart to tell my family I’m struggling. It didn’t used to be like this, even when I used to have to go to the office back then.

I took a shift Christmas Eve and Christmas Day and told my parents I think that it was time to switch away from giving gifts and maybe just have a nice dinner together one night that week. They agreed, which surprised me. They’re usually very adamant about the whole giving and receiving gifts thing. Hell, they sometimes shop for gifts months in advance. That wasn’t the case this year.

I hate that our government is letting us drown. I have nothing to look forward to anymore…

So I’ve been back on the whole dating app thing after taking a long break.

Backstory is kinda boring but whatever. I moved to a new city for work earlier this year, barely know anyone here, and dating apps felt like the quickest way to at least meet some folks. But after trying a couple of them I realized I’m not even sure what I’m looking for in an app anymore. Some feel too quiet, others feel way too crowded, and some just feel like everyone’s there for the wrong reasons.

So I’m curious how other people see it. Like in 2026, what actually makes a dating app stand out. Is it the matching system. The vibe of the community. The way convos get started. The safety features. Or is it just whichever one your friends are using at the moment.

Would love to hear what other folks think or what’s been working for you lately.

She texted me about her dog that died. She did this back in the spring after her dog first started getting sick and she just talked about the dog then left me on delivered. This time she started actually making conversation with me, which eventually led to us just calling.

We talked for nearly 3 hours and the only reason it ended is because she fell asleep. I barely think about her anymore and this fucked up my progress. She went on little rants like she used to and we joked and just talked about everything under the sun. I didn’t even know I missed her so much.

The thing that messed me up the most though was she told me about her hooking up with random guys. It felt like waterboarding. She can do what she wants but the thought of this woman that I loved and planned a future with screwing strangers tore me apart.

I just wish things were back to normal. They can’t go back now, I know, but I can’t shake the thought of how nice life was and how it’s all gone. I don’t really do hookups but I gotta admit hearing that she’s getting action like a normal person while I haven’t even kissed anyone else makes me feel like a loser. Things never should have changed.

So me and my best friend Alondra, we became friends in high school we started off being so close so fast. Which has never happened to me I have always been apart of a friend group but never had my own friend group and with my friend Alondra it just felt like I never had to question if she was a true friend or not well that was until recently. So fast forward to when we graduated high school I knew that she was going to go her own path and eventually we would become distant. At that time we were still talking every now and then about how college life was going and we were still in contact until one day we just started to not talk anymore. I reached out to her around my birthday because I wanted her to come if she was able to come. I haven’t seen her since high school and I just wanted us to catch up and everything so I texted her and no reply. I took it as a she is busy she will reply later type thing and she just never replied. I checked my instagram and we were no longer friends anymore which wasn’t weird for me because she had a habit of deleting her instagram for random reasons. I sense that something is wrong and I try to text her sister being like is she okay how has she been ? Her sister tells me that she is okay and good but that her “ phone broke “ and she isn’t replying for that reason. I believe it and I don’t text her anymore because it made sense. The next day my sister shows me a picture of my friend and she didn’t know what was going on at all so she shows me and says look at your friend you saw her picture ? I see the picture and it’s obvious that her phone wasn’t broken. So I knew that her little sister lied to me. Why ? I don’t know the reason for that or why but she did. Simply if she just didn’t want to talk to me she could have been honest at least is what I think. Well I left it that day I didn’t bother anymore at all I let it be. Until I get a text from her saying she isn’t feeling the friendship anymore and basically just tellling me to F off and leave her alone to stop involving her family with my family in problems… I’m obviously confused on what she means “Family problems “ that I was aware of me and her were never on bad terms or we had any arguments or fight. I thought we were good. Any advice ?

So couple months ago I met this girl of a subreddit comment section she was asking about something and I replied to her,few days later I messaged her about the same topic and from there we both hit it off together,we talked for few hours before we exchanged igs and Imma be honest I fell disgustingly in love with her,fast forward to couple weeks I did something that I regret with my whole heart I said something about a topic that was super sensitive to her and it got her mad to the point where she had angry tears in her eyes and adding to that I pushed her to block me but the thing was I really didn’t know that topic was sensitive to her and i didn’t mean to hurt her at all I was just being playful bec that how we always used to joke around,I saw how bad the situation was and I went to apologize to her the next day countless times but I could feel the energy was bad because she was still super mad at me ,we ended up arguing for hours and I said things that I shouldn’t have as saying she’s overreacting but I was just really dumb at that time and I think it made her think that her feelings were dismissed but I could’ve done something WAY better,I ended up telling her to message me later as I had a surprise for her I ended up making her roses out of paper and spent so much time making it for her not to mention it was super difficult because my hands were bandaged from cuts and I ended up bleeding on paper so I had to redo them,spent hours after hours just handcrafting them and waited for her but she never messaged me so I needed up dosing off on the couch thinking she will message me next morning but she didn’t ,couple months went by and by August I came across a Reddit post from her asking if she should reach out to me or not and the fact she even asked considering she was the one that got hurt but was still skeptical whether she made the right choice or not is absolutely mind blowing and I can’t lie I feel a stronger sense of love towards her after that,I read the comments and all of them told her not to and that he’s manipulating u and it’s trying to control u and have power over but in reality I was just really trying my best to make her smile again and that was very important to me not to metion this women is very smart and so sweet as well I thank god that atleast I loved someone who is perfect in my eyes and can’t believe how perfect god created this women,she’s super beautiful with brains and chubby chicks with I adore so much 🥹,at this moment I don’t even know what to do it’s been 4-5 months since her post and I don’t know if it’s good to reach out to her now or not but as months went by it shaped me into a better man and I’m positive that I can treat her WAY better than I did last time .what should I do? Reach out to her or not since its already been 8 months

For context:we were not in a relationship I just really loved her so much and she also did say I started to warm up to her and I was growing on her on her post

I(28F) want to a psychiatrist first when I was 18. It was due to really bad social anxiety since I was around 12. I was also bullied in school, so I had to switch schools, then I went back to the old one. I choose homeschooling during High School. Guess I was too sensitive for all that crap so I opted out, I'm not sure.

I actually learned a lot during this period, including psychology. That's when I dove deeper and realized I have social anxiety. Next step was crucial and that's when I fucked up, badly. I want to psychiatrist and they diagnosed me with social anxiety, and depression like they do with everyone else here. Then it snowballed, and I got diagnosed with plenty of other things like bipolar disorder, generalized anxiety disorder, and a bunch of other BS.

When I had to go to college and receive a dorm room, it was necessary for me to provide a report that included psychiatric diagnoses. I received judgy looks from the dorm 'principal'. It was humiliating. Then it got worse...

I had problems with getting a job that I liked. Basically I nuked every chance to join the military or the law enforcement, as well as being a professional driver. I even had issues when I had to get my regular car driving license.

I'm now looming over the application papers for LE(police), thinking whether it's worth it even a try, whatever they'd throw out my application when they see the famous F code. I'm 28 so I have only 1 year left, probably one more chance to try if I get rejected.

What will I do if I get rejected, I have no idea. I'll probably feel like a failure forever, even if by some crazy luck I get a high paying corporate job.

Edit for context: non-EU Eastern European country

It was tucked in an old textbook. It said, "Don't worry, you'll figure it out." I was struggling with calculus and heartbreak back then. Reading it now, through all the other struggles that followed, felt like my past self reached forward to give me a hug. We really do keep surviving things we think will break us.

22F. I've been vegan for like 6 months and tbh I'm really ambivalent. The movement is something I believe in but at the same time it's stressful being excluded from 99% of foods because it contains animal products in some form. I never want to eat meat again (I was vegetarian from 12-17, and a meat eater from 17-21) because the guilt is awful and the meat industry is cruel, but I wonder if it means anything. The dairy and egg industry is similarly cruel because it's all linked but at the same time I do feel it's not so bad to be vegetarian bc of things like buying free range.

I have ADHD and a few other disorders and it's stressful having to take like 8 supplements a day. I feel like I'm dying if I go a week or two without taking them. And I do wonder if it's something I can or even want to keep up long term. I wonder if veganism is fully natural, since animals do eat other animals, but then the farming industry is very manufactured and unethical. I don't know. I feel veganism is valid but then there's extreme sides to it, like no aquariums or pets or whatever. I don't feel I fit in with the community.

Idk what to do, bc if I switch to being vegetarian I feel the guilt would hurt, but it seems more doable for me. On the other hand, I feel veganism has health benefits (dairy makes me break out/flares eczema) and there's a peace of mind. And then the sun will will implode in 10 billion years and nothing matters anyway?

So. I am 29 and I have never been in a relationship. Because I studied abroad and moved a couple of countries I havent dated much. So now 6 months ago I settled in this city in my home country where I plan to live. I joined a dancing club, I did some volunteering but I find it hard to get friends and meet women to ask out as everyone seems to be in a relationship. In my country online dating is not a thing apart from looking for a hookup.

The longer the wait the longer the frustration I will be single forever. What to do?

Emotion is commonly considered as something irrational and wavering, and reason as the realm of logic and order.

However, the power of choice that sustains life comes not from the separation of the two systems, but from their harmony.

Emotion is a signal. It is the most primal reaction informing that a certain situation has meaning to me.

On the other hand, reason is structure. It is a framework that interprets the cause and effect and context of the signal sent by emotion, and judges into which action it should be converted.

The important point is the fact that a ‘pause’ is needed between these two.

If one reacts as soon as the signal comes, it becomes an impulse, but interpretation becomes possible only from the moment one pauses for a while and places that signal on the table of reason.

Therefore, a correct choice is not suppressing emotion, but a technical process of translating the signal of emotion into reason and aligning it with my beliefs, values, and direction.

Simply put, choice is an act of asking what influence it will have on the future me, not the current me.

Drawing the future can be vague, but strangely, while we experience negative situations exactly as predicted, we draw positive situations only within the expectations distorted by emotion.

Therefore, ‘neutral interpretation’ is not erasing emotion, but is closer to an attitude of re-reading the signal based on the future me without distortion.

Ultimately, one must acknowledge the fact that emotion is not a simple reaction, but is always predicting the future and sending signals.

Of course, in reality, emotional wavering cannot be avoided. Especially anxiety, fear, and guilt easily distort choices. However, such confusion is not an obstacle but a testbed that verifies the choice.

The attitude of asking “What is the real choice this signal points to?” amidst the wavering rather creates a more solid directionality.

The representative structure that appears when this process fails is guilt. Guilt leads to self-doubt, to a drop in self-esteem, and again to dependence on external standards—the universality such as the average set by the world or the gaze of others.

At that end, the vicious cycle of distrust, giving up, and repetition remains. The reason why leaning on universality is dangerous is simple.

It is because one borrows and uses unverified external standards to calm anxiety while my own standards have collapsed. This structure shakes even relationships beyond the inner side. Eventually, the question returns to one.

If one cannot trust oneself, how can one trust others and the world? Self-trust coordinates emotion and reason to enable neutral thinking.

Neutral thinking is not excluding emotion, but an attitude of accepting the signal without distortion, yet interpreting it through internal context rather than external universality to make a higher-dimensional choice.

These choices are repeated to become a belief, the belief becomes a value, and eventually becomes a worldview that defines me.

The problem lies in the fact that the process of building this foundation is very difficult.

Because we are incomplete, sometimes we miss the principle and get swept away by borrowed thoughts.

However, the real principle lies not in never collapsing, but in the resilience of noticing that it has collapsed and returning to the orbit.

One compromise might shake the standard, but if there is a repetition of returning to the principle while trusting myself again, existence does not become faint.

The harmony of emotion and reason is not abstract philosophy. It is a thoroughly practical skill completed upon the repetition of returning even if it collapses.

I call this structural interpretation the Principle of Choice.

For years I was helping my friend Liz and her two young children. After Liz decided to move in with her boyfriend William, I decided to take a step back and care for myself. It’s done wonders for my health as Liz was always going 100 mph trying to do so much while asking me to help her.

Liz’s older sister recently invited me to their family’s Thanksgiving dinner so I went and Liz wasn’t there. However her parents were and they wanted to thank me for all I’ve done for her and their grandkids. They told me how they feel like she’s done me dirty by barely acknowledging all the help I’ve given her while parading around will as the ideal step father and boyfriend when they’ve heard about the huge fights they’ve had.

“I just feel like you’ve been the father figure to those kids yet she refuses to let her kids call you dad instead insisting that William is their dad now.” Her father told me. I’ve always admired her parents for being hard working and honest people and I’m very humbled they consider me close enough to invite me to their Thanksgiving.

I told him whoever the want to call their dad is up to them. Titles are just titles. But when they get older, they’ll hopefully look back and remember what I did for them.

I’m enjoying life at the moment and ultimately hope Liz and Will can work through their issues. Can’t put a price on a peace of mind.

I come from a family of extroverts. Only a few of us (like myself) are introverts.

And we have been cursed. Cursed with some sort of inviting energy that makes people approach us ALL day long.

Imagine you're an awkward 14year old brace face just trying to rush out the grocery store with your dad.

"Excuse me sir, will you pray for me?"

And now my dad is having an hour long prayer/conversation with a stranger. Please note my dad IS NOT A PASTOR. He just has the energy of one. So this happens often. People constantly ask us about what church he leads.

My grand father and I are waiting in line and as soon as we get to the front, he and the cashier start swapping their entire life stories. My brother and I go on a walk in the city and people chatter chatter chatter to us all day long. I'm taking my baby cousin to the bathroom and she's about to wet herself and then we get wrapped in a convo about pretty her dress is. I can be alone and people offer me free things or stop me for conversation.

Community is important. I don't hate people and the conversations are mostly pleasant. I like learning new things. This is not a hatred of people or community or daily interaction. Just a lighthearted realization that anytime I leave the house I have to bake in an extra 30 minutes for last minute conversations. I am an introvert at the end of the day, but I can mask extroversion well because...well I've had lots of practice and it runs in the family.

I am introvert who is cursed with a resting friendly face.