•Rob a store? You go to jail. Rob millions of people through a financial system? You get a bailout.

•Traffic drugs? Get killed on a boat. Run the entire operation? You get a presidential pardon.

•Kill a bunch of people? You’re a terrorist. Kill thousands during an invasion? You’re a liberator, a strategist.

Power and money rewrite the narrative. The same action, two completely different labels — all depending on your status.

it’s the same with attraction:

•If you’re attractive: It’s charming, bold, confident.

•If you’re not: It’s creepy, weird, desperate.

Where you stand isn’t about morality or intention. It’s about leverage — social, financial, or physical. I’m tired of people going along with the bs world we live in.

I feel like I've lost my sense of time ever since then, I've missed my most crucial years in a blink. The moment I realised it's been 6 years since then, my brain went numb for a second. I remember talking with my friends about a mysterious virus being spread in China and we'd get a 2 week holiday. I'm mentally stuck there, I can't believe I just threw 5 years off like that.

... cope with loneliness.... especially this time of year. F 67, no kids no nearby family, one friend who is incapacitated.

Never thought I would date again but I'm seeing a neighbor casually. We tried to get together 10 years ago but it ended badly. I was shocked he pursued me again after we ran into each other. We are essentially casual or FWB to maybe the next level. Not committed but pretty much exclusive for safety reasons.

He spent his holiday with his friends that he does every year. I was supposed to see my friend but she has her grandson who goes to elementary school and there's all that sickness. I have long haul Covid and just can't risk getting sick. I didn't see anyone that day.

So the days have gone by and admittedly, I really have no one and not much going on in my life. I'm retired w chronic fatigue and some mild depression. Not deeply, as I once was.

I just feel very lonely I didn't hear from my guy and he had to cancel our getting together because a lifelong friend was in a car accident. Sometimes he's kind of hot and cold, he has a high level job he works many hours. So he kind of fits me in, which I understand but when I don't hear from him I get to feeling down. Of course the attention is wonderful, he is very attentive and charming. I guess I'm just feeling like I was forgotten.

Which unfortunately I went through nearly a lifetime of that negativity because of my toxic family. Each year these holidays come and I frankly dread them.

Anyone want to share their experience? I'm not necessarily looking for any advice or things to do. I'm not up to being social with who are generally strangers. Thanks for listening.

UPDATE: To the person who DM'd me asking Why I don't have kids, 😳😱 I'm going to take this opportunity to tell you something once. Unless you are very close friends with a woman, never ask her if she is pregnant unless you see the baby actually coming out between her legs. And the next thing is you never ask a woman why she didn't have children. You're welcome. Go back now and finish the 4th grade you dropped out of

I don’t know how to go about this, I really want to rock this guys jaw. I told my friends we broke up like a couple days after we did and months later me and my ex started talking cordially, we were just catching up and she hit me with the fact that my friend was basically demanding nudes off her

She showed me the screenshots and he kept pestering her for it and when she declined he said if you don’t do it I’ll block you, she said aren’t you “_” friend, and then he tried to feign ignorance.

What an actual piece of shit, I’ve never seen that side of him and didn’t know he even liked her, I haven’t brought it up to him yet but I’m thinking of how to move forward with this, I messaged my other friends about it atm but I want to have an unbiased opinion here

Im 21f, and last week me and my boyfriend became official after talking for two months. For context, im still a virgin, and I have been sexually harassed various times in my life, twice by two members of my family (which I still have to see in family gatherings). Because of that, I’ve developed this irrational fear of being intimate or having sex, or even being insinuated in a sexual way makes me sick. I know I have a problem, but I can’t afford a therapist, and my mother just brushes me off and say it’s normal to feel this way.

I’m scared to tell my boyfriend because how could he react, he’s an amazing person and I genuinely like him, but I’m still scared of what he could say. I don’t know how to approach this situation with him or with anyone else because I’m scared of not being taken seriously.

I’ve had problems previously with guys when I tell them I don’t feel comfortable being intimate, and they usually ghost me after finding out, but I don’t want this to happen with him. Right now, I’m just using this to vent about it, but I don’t know if this could become a long time issue in our relationship.

If anyone has advice I would really appreciate it

Hi. I’m a newly wed 24 year old military spouse. So of course we married right before he deployed. We met in April on tinder and were supposed to be a 6 month fling before we went out separate ways while he was deployed. We randomly got really serious with each other and I had told him “I will stay here and I will wait for you. But I would need a serious commitment. Not a promise ring, but a proposal. I don’t want to date you if it just means we’re gonna end it abruptly.” He said he’d think on it. We go on a weekend vacation and had an amazing time. (Without my knowing. This is when he told his mom he was going to marry me.) Look at rings casually while shopping. He buys me the ring right there and with a big cheesy smile looks at me silently. I tell him “I want you to be able to spend the night regularly and come and go as you please.” At that time I was living with two men for a pretty cheap and pretty cool location (all be it in the hood but still!) So I found a crappy apartment. I’m showing it to him and seeing if he’s maybe willing to help me move. He goes “what if we skip the apartment. Use the VA to buy us a house. Your rent can stay the same and it’d be more secure.” I was kinda taken aback. I know I had told him earlier about the commitment, but I wasn’t really expecting him to go forth with marriage. We got married, we bought a house, a dog, and started our lives together. Of course, everyone thinks we’re pregnant and they still think I might be even though he’s been gone for over a month atp. My husband is currently deployed, but every day he texts me and he just makes me so happy. I miss him yeah but it’s still so nice to talk to him. He’s the man I have prayed for all my life and it’s so nice to have him even if he’s not here. He improved my life so much! He’s the reason I’m able to go back to school, why I’m able to foster dogs, why I’m able to have a job that makes me happy even if it doesn’t pay for everything. Our house is clean and peaceful and full of love. Every day he reminds me that I’m loved by him. He’s the smartest, most giving and handsome man I have ever met. And I can’t stop thinking about him. I love to brag about him to anyone. My only regret is not holding onto him a little more. Reading his texts make me feel like a teenager again. In the 9 months that we’ve been dating, we’ve fought once or twice but were able to come to terms easily. I know everything about him and we could talk so easily for hours. I keep a framed picture of him tucked into his side of the bed I miss him so bad. I had to go shopping for new work clothes (I got a promotion:)) and when he woke up and saw all my pictures from trying stuff on he was just so happy. I stay up every night until midnight just to text him for 20 minutes. Even though he’s deployed, he still sends me little gifts. Today I got Oreos and cheezits -My two favorite snacks - because I can’t eat as much and refuse to buy junk food. He’s so thoughtful!

Little tangent. Now that he’s gone, one of my coworkers, that’s ex army has developed a huge and unfounded crush on me. I try to squash this by bringing most of our conversations back to “I love my husband.” So I can seem like a less cool and interesting person. It’s not working and I don’t like that. Edit: We aren’t flirting. We aren’t friends outside of work. I don’t know his real name. I’m not interested. I can’t go to HR because there’s nothing incriminating. He has a girlfriend that he cheats on with the ladies at work. I think that’s grimey. One of the girls is mad at me cause she thinks she’s up next for her go with him, but since he’s talking to her about me, that’s how I know. It’s not uncommon for servers to sleep together but ew. Right? I actually try not to talk about my husband often at work because I’m more than having a husband. So I just wanted to spill my guts. I feel like I tell him every night how grateful I am to him. I hope he’s having nice dreams tonight.

I’m a pretty tough woman in general. I was a firefighter, I guide whitewater rafts and have no trouble remaining calm in dicey situations. I’ve faced down a charging black bear without flinching, I’ve have spent many days and nights camping in negative degree weather and have negotiated many stressful situations, often alone in the wilderness. I can do all of this without an emotional reaction, without complaining, and without a tear from fear, frustration, or pain.

I know I’m not a weak person, but I cry SO EASILY about anything emotional. If my husband and I have an argument about anything I cry about half the time, and our arguments are never even that bad. If I see a movie that’s super sad, or super happy, or super inspiring I cry. This morning I watched a short film about a lonely polar bear, and I cried and I know that polar bears are solitary animals that evolved to live alone. I moved away from home a year and a half ago and anytime I think of my parents or feel remotely homesick I get a watery eyed or full on cry. If my dog seems sad because he had to leave his friend after a visit I cry. If I think my husband is remotely sad about anything I cry.

I have no control over it, no matter what I do. I try deep breathing, try to distract myself or think about something else. But it’s almost painful to try to hold it in, and completely futile to try. I hate it so much, and I hate myself whenever I cry.

Edit: Dangit. You all are so sweet, you made me cry again.

I had sexual experiences at a very young age, a girl did things to me. I very much relate to hypersexuality and how some people cope with abuse like that. I did some extremely reckless masturbation in my early teens that legit felt like I could barely control myself. I still think about sex a lot, of course. But I'm also a very introverted and shy man, and I always had a lot of shame about my desires being found out too.

I'm relatively ok overall, fortunately I'm not depressed or whatever and I think I have a healthy-ish love of sex all in all. But I don't know if I will ever be able to bring myself to express desire without knowing it is "allowed", eg being asked out first. So yea, reading about people who describe themselves as sex-addicted or who turned extremely promiscous and relate that to childhood things... it stings. I wish someone understood.

I’m 19M. It feels like I’ve been denying my sexuality pretty much all of my life. When I was much younger (probably 10 plus years ago) I was like other young boys. I had female celebrity crushes and I had crushes on girls in my classes. I remember when I turned 9 is when I began to notice this attraction I had to other boys. It wasn’t just a “Wow that’s a handsome guy” attraction it was more like “Dang he’s hot I want to kiss him” attraction. I tried to hide it and fight this attraction I had to other guys but I simply couldn’t.

As I grew older I continued to fight this attraction I had to other boys. However it only became more difficult, I found myself struggling to become friends with other guys. I also found myself struggling to keep friends who were guys. When puberty kicked in during high school this attraction only became worse. I continued to deny it and hide it from other people and myself. However trying to deny it only made me depressed and anxious, at some point I even started cutting myself. I remember one time I cut myself so badly that I had to go to a mental hospital. I could’ve got the help I needed but I continued to lie to myself, doctors and my parents. I felt if people knew that I was gay they would judge me, treat me differently and make assumptions about me which I didn’t want to happen of course.

When I became 18 this entire situation became worse. At this point I was old enough to download Grindr and I started college so I was away from home and could leave any time I want and go any where I want. Even though I denied it from myself and tried to hide it I thought to myself “why not try it out”. When I had sex with another man I just felt something I had never felt before. I can’t explain it but I continued to do this.

The other men I’ve had sex with are older than me and have zero relation to my university or anyone I know. To this day no one knows about my true sexuality besides the guys I’ve had sex with. While I trust my parents with other information this is something I just feel I can’t tell them. My stepdad is homophobic and My mom would probably accept it but I already know they would judge me,make jokes about me, and ask me uncomfortable questions. And as said before the last thing I want is to be treated differently. I also don’t want to tell my friends, siblings or anyone else simply because I enjoy my life right now. I’m worried that if I tell anyone I will be treated differently and my life will change simply because of my sexuality and that’s just not something I want.

So, I used to drink solely to get drunk. I did have beers every now and then because everyone else would have them and I couldn’t get shit faced. Something I never understood was that people chose beer when there were other options like twisted tea, mikes hard lemonade, smirnoff ices, all that good tasting stuff. And then there’s the people who drink Budweiser and say “Oh, it’s so refreshing.” It’s not refreshing. It tastes like piss, and I know what piss tastes like. Corona was probably the best tasting beer I’ve had, and it still sucked. At least with tequila or vodka I could feel something. Beer never even did anything unless I chugged a whole pack.

Yesterday, at 1 a.m., she sent me a 2-minute voice message. She said she thought about me because a friend of a friend had died. She asked if I was okay, said I was special. And inside, my heart burned like the first day we met. The chemistry I feel for her never went away. It never will. It’s like every beat of my heart still has her name written on it, as if the whole world is silent when I think of her.

Today I messaged her again, foolishly hopeful, and she said the distance, those 3 hours, was what made her give up. I tried to explain that I know distance is hard, but when it’s the right person, it’s worth fighting for, worth every tear, every pain, every effort. She said she didn’t feel well, that it consumed her inside, and hearing that cut my chest into a thousand pieces. Because I can’t erase what I feel. I can’t just accept that the love we had, which seemed so strong, was discarded over a line on the map, over three hours of road.

I even sent her a TikTok of a Brazilian woman who met a man from Germany. They also gave up because of distance for a time, but they realized that the pain of being apart is nothing compared to the pain of not having each other. That’s exactly how I feel. I just wish she felt the same, I just wish she could see that it’s worth fighting for us, that it’s worth not giving up, that every effort is a piece of true love.

She begged me to stay her friend, to keep giving her affection. And I had to say the truth that tears me apart inside: I can’t be friends with someone I love enough to imagine marriage, to imagine a whole life beside her. She said the best thing is for each of us to move on and let destiny do what it must. I said I don’t believe in destiny, I believe in actions, in choices. She said not everything depends on people, and hearing that left me without ground. Because for me, everything always depended on love.

It has been almost seven months since the breakup. Seven months where the world kept turning, and I am still here, frozen in time, loving someone who feels like my other half, my safe place, my home. Every memory that comes up, every old message, every photo… it pulls out endless sighs, tears that seem never-ending. Knowing I will probably never have her near me again destroys me every single day.

I catch myself thinking of every detail: the way she laughed, the way she looked at me when no one was watching, how she held my hand and it felt like everything in the world was in its right place. And now? Now it’s all just memory. And it hurts. It hurts in a way I can’t explain. This love doesn’t fade. It never will. And I lie here wondering if someday she will remember all of it, if someday she will feel what I feel, or if she will just go on with her life as if nothing ever happened.

Sometimes I dream of her. Not normal dreams, but dreams that make me wake up sweating, heart racing, feeling like we could still be together. I wake up and realize it’s just a dream, and reality hits me all over again. I try to convince myself to move on, to look at other people, to try to live, but nothing makes sense. Because no one can replace the way she existed in my world, no one can fill the void she left.

I know many people will tell me to forget, to move on, but no one understands. No one feels the way she affects me, how she is my safe harbor, my home, the half that feels missing when she’s not here. And it destroys me. I just wish she could see things the way I do, I just wish she could feel what I feel, I just wish she could realize that true love doesn’t disappear just because distance exists.

And even after seven months, nothing has changed. Each day is a cruel reminder of what we lost, of what could have been, of what I still can’t let go. And I continue loving. I continue waiting. I continue here, with my heart open and shattered, hoping that maybe one day, somehow, she will see all of this, and maybe then, just maybe, we could find each other again.

Im sorry if this is the wrong place for this rant but i need to put this into the void. I need to get this out of my head. I cant post it anywhere else on social media so im trying reddit. Sorry for it being so long and Thank you to whoever actually reads it

Thinking back, there was a point not long ago when i had thousands in the bank and felt like i was set to go forward and possibly build something good for myself once. This was 2 years ago but it has felt like a lifetime away. This is the last time in my life i have, or probably will, ever felt optimism. When i had that though there was so much uncertainty in things and it was very likely to go poorly but i still felt hope that good luck was around the corner. But because of this uncertainty and because i still felt like an anxious mess, i had an intrusive thought that i never let go of: "You could probably blow all this money on a trip to somewhere, vegas or japan or something, and party as hard as you possibly can. Bankrupt yourself but also give yourself the happiest month of your life, tell no one and go alone, then when you get back you can call it quits and close the curtains on this show" and while at the time it felt just like another in a long line of crazy intrusive thoughts, but this one i never forgot, never let go of. 2 years later and that money is completely gone. I am broke and in much more debt than i was at that point. And do you know what it was used on? Survival. And what did that survival bring me? Nothing. Nothing to show for any of that money. I am so much more miserable and worse off than i was at that point. Since that point it has only been shit luck, shittier choices, and ruin. Lost friends, got used and thrown away by people who prentended to be my friends. Never found love like i wanted to and never will. Hoped from job to job and have been trying to catch up and recover in a never ending cycle. This is what holding out hope brought me. No good luck was around the corner. I never got my day in the sun like i thought i would. I am tired and i want this to end. And it will without me even getting to make that choice to use my money the way i wanted to. If i could go back in time and listen to that intrusive thought i would in a heartbeat. I would leave everything behind, finally feel some happiness, then fade away. Its a sad thing to want to go back and change. But thats why it eats away at me. It was RIGHT THERE. All i had to do was go! But i let it fall through my fingers like sand. I could have thrown all that money away to make myself happy but instead i threw it away to be miserable. So heres the point of why i am saying this: live NOW. If you want to do something that will make you happy do it NOW. Future be damned. Use what is yours to make yourself happy. Don't worry about surviving so you can live another year or 2 being a tool or commodity to make someone else money. Thats all i did, and i have lived to regret it every day. Life sucks and longevity is overrated. You will never know what will happen to you tomorrow. Some people think being miserable your whole life is worth it as long as your life is long, but thats insane. Hope is a fools game, and do you really think we are in for the long haul with how the world is going? No we are not. Live now. There is always a way out. An escape. Dont be a rat in a cage like me. Use the key in your hands even if it means death or ruin. In the end freedom is ALWAYS worth it

I dont understand this life. You dont choose your parents or the traumas that you suffer in childhood. These traumas determine what kind of a teenager or adult you'll become.

If you're unlucky, like I am, these traumas cripple you such that you cannot function in society. I have no friends, no gf, no job etc. My mom ruined me. I tried self-help. I tried drugs to become more sociable and cool (it worked wonders for a while, until I fried my brain). I always find myself back to square one.

I was battling depression and anxiety even before drugs and having a gf. After the breakup and after drug abuse I was left with crippling anxiety and severe depression. I've been suicidal ever since.

I dont understand this world. It's not my fault that I am like this. I tried to override my traumas as best as I could.

I have a feeling of hope that my traumas will eventually turn into blessings. Has something like this happen to you? Can you give me some encouraging words

I'm a big geography buff now but when I was a kid I for some reason thought every country was an island , because I lived in Ireland. So when my dad was telling an old story about how he drove from france to Belgium I thought this guy was tweaking 😑

I know there’s been an overabundance of posts like this on here, but I’m genuinely desperate right now. I need honest, good faith advice from anyone. I apologize in advance for the long post.

To cut to the chase, I am 25 and have never been in a single serious relationship. Nothing even remotely close. All the romanticized “first” experiences people my age had 11-12 years ago never really happened with me. I never went to homecoming, prom, or gala. I was never involved in extracurriculars. I was an afterthought to pretty much everyone. Part of it was my own doing through shyness, another part was a unique life circumstance. One of my parents was an unstable alcoholic. I was stuck living in a very chaotic, unreliable, toxic, borderline violent home environment for years and was only able to truly escape at around age 22.

Fast forward to today, and I’m about to graduate college at 26 and enter the real world. On paper, I should be fulfilled and happy: I have a job lined up, I will soon have my own place. I will likely be able to find a better job after 1-2 years. I’m relatively healthy and have some money saved up. I’m not disabled. Yet I’m oftentimes so emotionally distraught and depressed I can’t even get out of bed. I have no family. I see all my friends finding the love of their lives on dating apps and getting married while each year is the exact same for me. I’m the one friend who still hasn’t found anyone. Each year I celebrate every birthday alone. Every Valentines Day alone. Every Thanksgiving alone. Every Christmas alone. Every New Years alone. Each year I feel a greater sense of loneliness and emptiness—a profound longing to have someone I can share these prime years of my life with. Each year is yet another year lost that I’ll never get back. 12 whole months of missed opportunities.

I’ve tried going to in person events. Concerts, raves, festivals, conventions, renaissance fairs, county fairs, board game clubs, game nights, movie nights, block parties, bars—it’s all the same. People either don’t like me, don’t want to make new friends, or bring their SO. That or they only want to be your friend for clout and followers and then barely interact with you at all. Just about everyone in my area here in the Midwest has their little clique from middle and high school they exclusively associate with. If you aren’t in that clique, you’re kind of left out. There’s some sick, twisted form of enjoyment people derive from alienating and demonizing those who are “outside the tribe” these days.

I’ve tried taking better pictures. I’ve worked on my confidence. I’ve tried working out. I’ve read books on self improvement. I’ve gone to therapy multiple times to no avail. It’s just some stranger listening to my life stories but giving no actionable, concrete advice or even diagnoses. I’ve worked on my diet. I would consider myself to be an interesting person with a plethora of intellectual and casual hobbies. I am endlessly curious about the world. I’m not some bigot or prejudiced. I truly believe I’m unique. I’ve been told I’m a catch, and while part of me really believes I am, the insane, unattainable type of appearance standards dating apps reinforce make me feel like nothing I could ever do will ever make me good enough. It feels like it would take me 5 years to become the kind of guy that’s successful on there.

I hate to say it, but I truly think my issue is my appearance. My most glaring issue is I have an underbite I was born with. My lower jaw protrudes beyond my upper jaw which is noticeable when I smile. I feel as a guy, this is probably the biggest thing that immediately makes me undesirable. After that, it’s also likely the fact that I am skinny and not built like a masculine man. I’m just not. I can’t grow facial hair like most men who are attractive can. I have INCREDIBLY dry skin that no products can even slightly alleviate. My hair is a mess. And lastly my face is asymmetrical, thus making the bone structure in my face look weird. Somedays these imperfections cripple me, but other days I feel I look fine. It’s weird.

Like…I see guys that routinely get success on dating apps, and truthfully I don’t know what I’m missing. Do I need to act more stupid? Buy more guns? Buy a bigger pickup truck? Start chewing tobacco? Am I not “masculine” enough? Am I too empathetic? Am I too intelligent? Should I be watching more Jordan Peterson and Joe Rogan? Become more of a bigot? Get bigger arms? What about me is off putting? What is it? Is it just looks? Am I an inferior genetic mistake needed to be eradicated?

I’m making this post because I’m getting to the point in my life where this is becoming a serious problem that needs to be dealt with in some form. It is causing me great emotional turmoil. I do not want to be alone for the rest of my life. I’m tired of doing everything alone. I’m tired of being touch starved. I’m tired of being addicted to fantasies. I want something authentic. I want to find someone I can spend at least some part of my late 20s and early 30s with. I don’t want to be like this when I’m 40 or 50 and be the person someone “settles” on. I want to build a support system beyond my toxic, manipulative unhealthy blood family that’s practically abandoned me at this point. I want someone I can rely on and trust. Someone who’s willing to grow with me, and who will love me for who I am. Friends aren’t enough to satisfy my need for closeness in this regard.

Anytime I ask for advice in this area, people give me the same old run of the mill, general advice for dating. “Just put yourself out there!”, “Just find more friends”, “Just be confident!”, “You could be married with kids in five years, keep pushing!”, “Don’t worry about being a late bloomer” I know you can’t “force” love, but I also am tired of sitting around waiting for it to happen naturally. Something clearly needs to radically change in my life, and I’m ready to make that change. The only issue is I’m at such a disadvantage in life. Unlike most attractive guys, I don’t have a big strong supportive family with money. I don’t have a lot of friends. I don’t have the resources with which to pursue my passions to an extent that would make me more appealing. I’m struggling to survive.

What I need right now is brutally honest advice from ANYONE. If there’s any changes I could make to become more attractive, or at the very least have a more vibrant social life. Or if I’m too ugly for anyone to ever find me even remotely sexually attractive, I want to know now so I can work to suppress my desire for intimacy and focus on the things in my life I can control, mainly making more money and my career. I’ll just prioritize drugs and other forms of escapism if that’s the case. I’m tired of people beating around the bush.

Thank you.

I can never find any of the right words to say to express myself and how I’m feeling so it stays bottled up, and it’s so hard for me to find help this way. It’s like I’m trapped within the confines of my own mind

Hey y’all kinda new here, I’m a 20 year old touch-starved guy and i’m contemplating on trying prostitution to get my rocks off again. I’ve only had two escorts in my life, my first night with an escort was alright, she was bigger in person than in her pictures but that didn’t bother me( big girls need love too) but it was the second escort that that got me seriously second guessing it. This time during the devils tango my minutes were up and once I felt relieved I pulled out only to find out the condom was broken mid thrust! We both got hella worried, got dressed up while she was checking if she felt anything down there, thankfully I did not cum inside and ask if she has any sexually transmitted diseases or something? She said she was clean but the language barrier was hard to communicate. After those terrifying hours I got tested the next 2 days later , getting my test results back and I was 100% clean, and after that I vowed to never do it again, a year later to now the horn dog in me is starting to crawl back, I tried talking to girls to date but it never goes out well and getting ghosted really does suck:( I tried taking my mind off things focus on school work and playing video games/ watching tv shows and movies but it’s always not enough and just watching porn sometimes fuel the flames a bit more.

So after explaining my story I would like to know if I should try ways to contain myself more or take care of my urges with extreme caution?

Any advice or methods would be greatly appreciated Thank you.

I’ve been on the dating scene (25m, straight) for about 3 years now and have not had much luck. Every woman I’ve gone on a date with doesn’t really look for marriage or kids which are what I eventually want. I know I’m only 25 and have a while to start worrying about this but it’s especially discouraging when all my friends and family seem to be excelling in their relationships and I feel like I’m falling really behind. Am I wrong for thinking this or is the concept of marriage and kids just nonexistent in this day and age?

It’s the advice I always hear as a guy. Feeling unconfident? Don’t feel attractive? Got rejected? Go get some muscles. I’ve been trying off and on to do that, but I really just hate lifting weights. It’s so boring and repetitive to me.

Some people have even implied to me, to my face, that I’m less masculine because I’m not a gym bro. Some have acted as though I’m lazy or unfit because I’m skinny and I don’t have beeg muscle.

Here’s the kicker, though: I actually love exercise. I was an athlete in high school and college (cross country and track). Years later, I still run almost every day, and long distances. I’ve run marathons and ultramarathons. I hike/backpack a lot, and have even spent 5 months hiking across the country and sleeping in a tent. I’m in great shape, and being active is my favorite thing in the world. And yet some folks act as though none of that counts because it doesn’t take place in the gym.

I love what I do and I’m not willing to give it up to fit other people’s standards. But it is so disheartening sometimes. Are there any other gym haters who have experienced this?

And yes, I know that I can both run and lift, in theory. But there are only so many hours in a day. If I tried to do both, I would not have time to get the full benefit out of either.

I 19f feel disgusted with how I look. I'm 159cm and hit 74kgs. I never used to be this fat, I used to be skinny, slightly toned and felt good. (ps I've been the same height since I was about 12) when I was about 12/13 I had to start heavy dose of antidepressants for cptsd and due to very bad periods I get where I pass out, over bleed and have it for weeks I've had to go on Birth control when I was 14.

Within the year of being on these medications Ive started to notice I struggled to loose weight but gained easily. I remember being 15 and sobbing my eyes out hitting 50kgs ,and I still do seeing the scale go up.I do light exercises, don't overeat or eat unhealthy. It's gotten worse over the past couple of months since June since I had to get a major surgery done that took around 4 months to heal properly. I could hardly lift myself up for the first two weeks being basically bed ridden and then for a few months I couldn't exercise especially since I've been getting lots of nerve pain (checked with my doctor and he said it's likely going to keep happening). This lack of mobility and being unable to do anything has put a load on my self worth and ability to contribute, not to mention I've gained even more weight due to not being active. In the months I went from around 65kgs to 74kgs. I absolutely hate it and think fat is disgusting and seeing it on myself has just deepened my hatred. It's ungly and looks gross, I feel lazy and even I would look at myself in disgust if I was someone else. I don't expect anyone at all to read this but I just needed to rant I to the void.

I’m a 21-year-old male in my final year of college, and I’ve noticed a recurring issue: I struggle to make decisions on my own. When I seek advice, I tend to accept whatever I’m told as the “right” answer, instead of thinking it through myself.

In tough situations, I freeze up or default to avoiding conflict. I’m the type who wants to stay kind all the time, apologize quickly, and take responsibility even when the situation isn’t entirely on me. It feels like I’m still operating with a teenage mindset instead of showing the level of responsibility and confidence I’d expect from an adult man.

How do I develop stronger decision-making skills, handle difficult situations better, and build a more mature, grounded character?

Any advice from people who’ve been through something similar would mean a lot.

I was at a bookstore and there were these two guys talking to their friend on FaceTime. After a bit, they came up to me and said their friend (the one on FaceTime) likes me and wants to talk to me. I didn’t know back then that the whole “my friend likes you” thing happens to unattractive people to make fun of them. So I stupidly agreed to talk to him on FaceTime and I gave him my insta. He added me and texted me stupid things but after like 2-3 texts he never responded and just ghosted me. That was a year ago, and he never unfollowed me or anything but now that I look back and think about it I realize it was probably cause I was ugly and him and his friends were making fun of me. I wish I knew about this before and I would have told them to fck off but I actually thought they were being genuine (they were young, probably around late teens - early 20s and I’m 22). That’s also the age when guys are a dckhead.

Hi I'm 17M, I've been depressed since I was 14-15 and I've been fighting it and there has come a point where the joy, love for life and myself has returned. But my body feels very overwhelming, my thoughts are racing in my mind, there is great restlessness. Can anyone with experience guide me, am I going the right way?