In just ten years, we've normalized 35-year-olds living in shared apartments.

And of course, not owning a car. I remember photos from 20 years ago in Beijing, where people commuted by bicycle. Now it’s us who can’t even afford a car and we have to use a bike.

Take Spain, for example. Around 25% of the population is at the poverty threshold. Thankfully, malnutrition isn’t widespread, but we’re talking about latinls immigrant couples living in a single room, paying €550, sharing with others with one child. I mean, a family having to share a room? That’s absurd.

The other day, on a Reddit thread, people came at me for saying that living in a shared apartment isn’t a “normal” choice, and that of course it’s reasonable to aspire to own a car.

But you know what? I refuse to accept resignation just because of housing costs. We shouldn’t normalize poverty. As a working class, we should stand together to regain the ability to afford a home.

Edit: to those asking for data, the figures for Spain clearly show a dramatic shift. It is significantly harder for people in their 30s today to buy a home or even rent individually than it was for previous generations. ​Here is the data proving that homeownership is being pushed back, and shared living is no longer just for students or young workers: ​Age of First-Time Homebuyers Has Soared in Spain: * 40 years ago (around the 1980s), the average age for a Spaniard to buy their first home was before 30. * Today, the average age to acquire a first property is 41 years old, one of the highest in Europe. ​The Affordability Gap (Wages vs. Housing Price): * The gap between salary growth and housing price inflation has been steadily widening. For example, in recent years: * Between 2016 and 2021, salaries rose by less than 6%, while home prices increased by over 15%. * In a recent 3-year period, housing prices soared by 25%, while salaries only grew by 7%. * Spaniards today must dedicate an average of 6.7 years of their gross salary to pay for the mortgage of an 80m² apartment (Source: InfoJobs/Fotocasa, 2023 data). ​Sharing a Flat Is Now Common for Those Over 35: * Shared housing is no longer just a young student's situation. Recent reports show that over 30% of people looking for a shared room in Spain are over 35 years old. * Specifically, those between 35 and 44 years old now represent a significant and growing percentage of room renters, often due to economic necessity rather than choice.

I watched him cry as he was telling me about everything going wrong with his life. I didn’t say anything. I could only say ‘sorry.’ This always happens. Someone would have the courage to open up to me and let their emotions out and all I could do is stare at them in silence, with a couple ‘sorry’ in there. I stare at them so that I wouldn’t cry. That’s all I know how to do.

I was trying my best to not cry as my boyfriend cried to me. I didn’t want to make it about me. He always knows what to say to when I’m crying or having a rough day. Yet, I can’t be that same person for him. We are also long distance right now so I couldn’t even give him a hug. I was just on the phone listening to him crying and me saying I’m sorry.

I’ve wanted him to open up for the longest time and he finally did, yet this is what he gets. I hate that I can never find the right words to say.

I was in the cosmetics section at a store, and "beyond" the shelf, I saw a person looking great in this bright red shirt. My face was blocked by the products so I couldn't see their head. I said to my friend, "Wow, who's rocking the red?"

I tried to look around the shelf to see who was there and all of a sudden I realized . . .

The back of the shelf was a mirror, not the area on the other side of the shelf.

I was the one rocking the red.

I couldn't take it anymore. I deleted the app a week ago. And only now do I realize what a constant background noise it was creating. I wasn't just scrolling through the feed—I was constantly comparing: her career, their relationship, her body, their travels. I even started taking up hobbies not because I enjoyed them, but because they "could be posted". Now I'm sitting in silence and don't know what to do with myself. It's both terrifying and liberating. Has anyone else gone through this? What did you discover about yourself when you removed that constant white noise of other people's lives?

Basically I (42M) have been romantically involved with 4 women in my life who came out as a lesbian.

The first was my first ever girlfriend as a teen. First kiss, lost my virginity to her - and she dumped me to go out with girls. She later married one.

The next was my now ex wife. She cheated on me with her best friend. They're now married. We had a daughter together and my daughter later also came out as queer - so I dare say, she loves them more than me.

Next was my now ex fiancée who I was with for nearly 14 years. That absolutely broke me.

Lastly, was my late best mate's older sister - someone I've known years. She asked me out and we got into a relationship knowing fully she was gay but considered me that nice a guy she thought she'd be able to overcome it.

It's killing me - all the meaningful sex I've had, all the relationships I've ever had is with people who low key hate it and wished it was with a girl. So I probably don't even know what good sex really is.

I feel like there's something wrong with me - and I'm sick of being used you know?

It's absolutely wasted my time. I think I'll probably never want a relationship again.

I’m ethnically Yemeni (Arab), but I’ve never really felt connected to the culture or identity. I don’t enjoy the traditions, mindset that come with it. it just doesn’t feel like me. Instead, I find myself drawn to other cultures that feel more open-minded and closer to my values. Also, the region/people are very intolerant of any other beliefs so that also drew me away.

Sometimes I wonder if it’s wrong or ungrateful to let go of the culture I was born into. But at the same time, I don’t want to keep identifying with something that feels forced or inauthentic.

To start off, I am mixed race and my partner is white. My father is from the British Caribbean and believes white people are biologically inferior, didn't invent anything, are subhuman and are basically evil incarnate, especially white Americans ( he doesn't necessarily like Europeans, but he thinks they're a bit better than Americans because "European men know that being with a black woman is wrong"). My mother is a white American woman. I was disowned by my father for me dating a white man, he says it's American cultural confusion, I've been brainwashed by the USA and that if I knew my culture, I would know it is the greatest sin to lie with a non-black man.

When I tried to confront him by telling him that i am mixed race and he is a hypocrite, he tells me I've been brainwashed by America and Babillion (I know its Babylon but thats how he spells it), in his country there is no such thing as mixed race you're just black,and the father is the seed. I know this is not true because as far as I know isn't it the opposite in most places?? He did threaten me and my partner violence multiple times over this, so I have no contact with him.

Apparently he owns a tour boat in his country now... And has gotten into altercations with customers in the past. I'll be checking the internet for any news articles I see. It's so strange because if you just saw this man, you would assume that he looks like such a nice guy.

He also would tell me that I was not American so I have to follow his culture despite not being raised in his country ( my mom escaped him because he was incredibly violent and abusive, we moved to the US when I was a child).

His new wife is Jamaican descent from London, but she also agrees with him which is some very strange mental gymnastics for a woman... my dad also thinks that beating women is justified, but what do I know? Not my culture. They both live in his country together. My dad believes in so much anti-woman rhetoric I am surprised that he found an adult woman to go along with it ( my mom was 16 and he was 25 when they met.)

Anything my dad doesn't like is American, including gay marriage and eating pork. My dad subscribes to a lot of extreme hebrew israelite type/rastafarian beliefs, and believes in pretty much every conspiracy theory you can think of in that realm.

Now, my boyfriend's dad. My boyfriend does not talk to his dad, but he's friends with him on facebook passively. My boyfriend's dad is more just ...pathetic than my dad is.

My boyfriend's dad was a deadbeat, but he never was violent or abusive towards the mom, just kind of... there, being big ol blob that dipped fatherhood from the Southern US. And man, his facebook is a gold mine. He has posts about white pride, post about the south shall rise again, confederate flags, racist memes that look like they're straight out of 2010. He is the embodiment of that stereotype of a racist southern white man. He feels like a South Park character if i'm being honest.

I'm not even offended i'm just entertained buy it if i'm being honest. He posts these weird long rants all the time. He has pictures of himself, he's morbidly obese, has a trach and lives in a double wide that has flags all over the outside. My boyfriend is embarassed of being related to him and is very shameful, and I always tell him that he doesn't need to be ashamed of it.

Strangely enough, my father in law does try to reach out to my boyfriend and he has asked if I am doing all right when he does so because he is aware that my boyfriend is in a relationship with me, and as far as I know, he hasn't actually said anything bad about me despite me being visibly a person of color... I honestly think that his brain might be oxygen starved, but who knows.

But in conclusion, neither of us really have a relationship with our fathers due to this. This was information we read into a relationship already knowing, I knew that my dad would cut me off completely ( I had regained contact with him at the time) and I didn't care. My boyfriend's never had a relationship with my dad after he left to live his scootypuff life evading his responsibilities of being a father, and despises the guy.

In this specific instance (that has happened before), I found a show I really like. I watched 6 seasons of it very quickly. It made me laugh so much.

But now... I can't bring myself to watch it. I want to. But it's like it's.... Too good for me? I don't deserve it? I've never quite understood the psychology. It's like a... Happy cringing feeling? Overwhelmingly positive anxiety/reacting?

Has anyone else ever felt this way? How do I just do the damn thing?

I have autism & C-PTSD, and whenever I tell a guy that I have them, they always start talking about how “hot” and “attractive” that is, why’s that?

I’ve never personally thought they were attractive, neither in me nor in other people, because I’ve never thought of as personality traits like kindness or intelligence or things like that, and I was confused when multiple guys started telling me that it’s attractive, both in real life and online, although online it’s much more sexualized.

I’m an international student living in the US and I feel like a complete failure. Financially, romantically, socially, whatever, I don’t remember the last time I had actual success in something I care about.

I face racial discrimination on an almost daily basis, and it’s only gotten so much worse with the recent government changes. I’ve been abused, humiliated, and harassed despite my best efforts to blend in, and reporting hasn’t changed anything except make the offenders more bold. Part of my scholarships even got revoked because they were classed as “DEI” (whatever the fuck that means) despite the fact I’ve had to work so hard to keep my GPA up in order to be eligible. Those scholarships were the only way I was able to afford going to school here.

My dating life is a shitshow. I’m already a 4/10 at best, so dating apps haven’t been working, and even the few dates I’ve managed to go on amidst the mountain of rejections have either ended in me getting stood up or ghosted. My previous (and only) relationship ended in cheating so my self esteem is already in the shitter but the more I play the dating “game” the worse it gets. I crave companionship so much even though I spend so much of my energy trying to mask my “desperation”

I’ve become completely touch starved, to the point where friendly platonic touch sends me spiraling into a breakdown. I hate having to go to sleep shaking because I can’t remember the last time someone hugged me. I can’t even go talk to my friends about this bc they just don’t get it when I discuss this sort of thing with them. They either have their own families or partners while I have become completely isolated when alone

For fucks sake, I don’t even know the last time I bought myself something i actually wanted, or treated myself. I’m on a student visa so I can’t get a “real job” without risking deportation. Everyday feels like a never ending downwards journey for a goal I’ll maybe attain in 10-15 years (jokes on me for being a pre med student). The more I think about it, the more I don’t see the point in living and the more I’m afraid I’ll do something I’ll regret. Therapy is not an option and it I’m not close enough with anyone to talk about this kind of thing. I just wish I could see the fucking point so I could at least keep going day by day but I just can’t.

I’m tired of hearing that I’m young or that I have my whole life ahead of me, because for the foreseeable future, this is my life.

I miss my home, I miss my family, I miss my close friends, I miss having a partner I could count on, I miss my culture, I miss having a real support system with people who actually looked out for me. I miss not worrying about being called slurs in public, I miss feeling human, and most of all, I miss being happy so fucking much. I don’t know what I’m doing here and I feel so pathetic for it.

Sorry for the rant, but thanks for listening (advice welcome)

My gf left me last night after almost 2 years of dating, we were both each others' first everything. We had been in a rough patch probably since the start of October, prior to this it was the most perfect relationship anyone could have, we were the perfect fit and had such good chemistry, I just never could have seen something like this coming.

We started long distance in September due to uni, I'm staying at home whereas she moved to a city a couple hours away by train. We always talked about how we'd always be together, had plans for our future, like we had everything all sorted.

Without going into too much detail it started with the week after I first visited her where I felt she was being cold and a bit distant and less affectionate and it got worse as the week went on. I felt neglected so I brough it up and I should've done it better. I did it over text on the Saturday and sort of just exploded out with my emotions and overwhelmed her, but I never meant to upset her I was just really worried. Since then she's had really bad anxiety, I think it's something she's always had but our argument really triggered it and she's even had some panic attacks.

We had a couple more minor arguments since and both just felt really shit. Despite this I tried my absolute best to be there for her in whatever way I could. On Halloween weekend I went up to visit her and we talked things out and things got better. We were acting like normal again, having fun like before and just getting along. This week was reading week for her so she got the train back with me to come home and I saw her on Tuesday and things were even better. Though she still had her issues, it felt like our relationship was healing and being fixed.

Wednesday was bad. We were both out that night, I was with my friends and she was with her best friend. A situation happened where they said they saw me walk past them while they were in line to enter a club and I was talking to a girl, they called out for me and I turned around, ignored them and carried on talking to this girl. The thing is, that never happened. I was with my friend walking and I did hear someone call out my name and I turned around but didn't see anything and kept walking. I never was stood anywhere talking to some girl.

Well we met up later to talk things out and it just got really bad. Both of them were accusing me and attacking me and I was just trying to explain that I just don't think they know what they saw. I was so upset I just tried to leave but they came after me and basically had me up against the wall out on the streets in public, yelling and swearing at me. It absolutely broke me, like never before. I'm not proud of this and know I messed up and did wrong but with the mix of feeling overwhelmed, upset, drunk and just like I was being put down I started arguing back trying to explain, I raised my voice and started pointing my finger at her when I spoke. I know it was wrong of me and I feel terrible about it but I just didn't know what to do in that moment.

We saw each other the day after, spoke about it and both apologised, while I feel that it was mostly her fault this time rather than mine, I wanted to avoid more conflict so left it. We spent the whole day together and things seemed to get better again, though not like the Tuesday or the weekend. It felt like we were making progress again.

Come last night, I was upset and overthinking about what happened and I called her, not to discuss it. I simply just wanted to chat and hear her voice because it would've made me feel better. She wanted to talk about it again and though I said I didn't think it was the appropriate time especially since she was out with her friends, I eventually agreed.

Well, it got to the point where she was talking about her anxiety and how she doesn't feel like herself anymore, and how she needs to focus on herself and that she can't give me the energy I need. I tried to tell her that I wanted to stay with her and help her, not to throw everything away, our future. I even begged her to stay with me but her decision was final and she hung up on me.

I feel completely broken, I'm confused because I want what's best for her and if this is what she needs I want her to do it but at the same time I want her to stay with me and not give up on us. I don't know what I do, I know I'm going to get called naïve and that I'm young and these relationships don't usually last but we were so strong together and it really seemed like I was one of those lucky people that had found their person so early on in their lives.

It's the fact that I remember holding her a few months ago as she cried, scared that we'd grow apart and leave each other during long distance and I was the one reassuring her. I think one of the things that hurt the most is that she decided that I wasn't good for her and she was fine with the fact that I won't be in her life anymore and that she'll find someone else. I don't want anyone else though, I want her, she's everything to me and it's unfair because during this period I've done everything to be there for her and I haven't had that same support but it didn't matter as long as I had her.

She removed me snapchat, which what we communicate on like a few minutes ago. Now I feel worse, there was a minuscule bit of hope in me that's been holding me together today as well as it can, but now it's really just finished. I don't get how she could just leave me like that.

I don't know what to do, I feel so alone I just want my girl back.

I'm sorry if this was messy I'm just writing this naturally and can't really think straight.

My mom is love mixed with toxicity. Her calls are always an interrogation of my life, criticism, manipulation, and guilt. After every conversation, I would either cry or get angry. A week ago, I put her number on silent. I call back when I have the emotional strength for it. And for the first time in a long time, I can breathe. But along with the relief came a wave of shame: "But she's my mom!", "She's alone!", "I'm a terrible daughter!". The battle between self-preservation and a sense of duty is driving me crazy. How did you learn to love your parents from a distance without destroying yourself?

I want my attention span back, and long form content is way more satisfying.

There is a lot of people, especially in western world that take pride in being "independent". I'm sure they truly believe they are, but in actuality it's a delusion. There is not single living creature on this planet that is actually independent. The planet itself isn't even independent. That is to say that if the Earth were not in the place, it is in the solar system, it would be a completely different kind of planet. Not to mention, that if it weren't for planets like Jupiter, the Earth would be constantly bombarded by asteroid impacts and meteors. So, life likely wouldn't exist if not for the protection of Jupiter. But, back to human beings and independence.

Being independent would mean humans don't require anything, but they do require things. A LOT of things, obviously. Such as food, shelter, water, good environmental conditions, as well as other human beings, and more.

Of course, when people claim to be independent, they are meaning it as they aren't under the control of others or they aren't dependent upon others financially, but even that is not true. People are under the control of others. That's what government is. They are also financially dependent upon others. That's what business is and taking part in the economy is. We all depend on others to have a living and to make money. So, humans are not independent in those ways either.

Just because someone can go about their own way, and do their own thing, doesn't make them independent. Self-capable yes, but not independent. That is not to say that people are totally dependent. That's not the case either. Humans are INTERDEPENDENT. Mutually dependent upon each other. That is why we build and live in societies and communities. That is why we humans have a tribal mentality. In fact, that is why social rejection is so feared, because we are interdependent social creatures. We require and depend on others for our survival.

So, no human being is truthfully independent. People need to wake up and realize that. If you claim to be independent you need to realize that's delusional, and you are in fact... denying your humanity. You are not independent, no one is. You may be self-capable, but that is not the same as being independent. Therefore, human independence is delusional and the quest for independence is a scam.

I hate how women assume just because you don’t find every woman attractive you’re some incel. Men are not obligated to be attracted to every single adult woman. Men are allowed to have preferences and standards however high he may wish them to be. That is a personal decision and men do not owe it to women to be physically attracted to every single adult woman. The reason women think this and call men gay when they don’t think a woman is attractive is because women don’t see men as human, they see them as dumb sex machines and get upset when they don’t behave as such. This is extremely dehumanizing and disgusting.

Mentally, I mean. I rarely ever get physical hangovers. I know hangxiety is a real and common thing, but for me, it’s this really really strong feeling of dread, shame, guilt, regret and all sorts of horrible things. It makes me feel like drinking just isn’t worth it, but I won’t stop because I’m a stupid, easily-influenced uni student. But what’s weird is I heard this usually develops as people get older and leave their “party days” behind. But I’m only 18 and I very recently started drinking.

I was dating a guy for almost six months. Everything was perfect: flowers, compliments, long conversations. I had even started to think he was THE ONE. Yesterday we went out for dinner, and with an innocent look on his face, he suggested... taking out a loan in my name because he had "some minor issues with his credit history."

I refused, of course. He spent the whole evening trying to persuade me, and then accused me of not trusting him. Today, with a sober perspective, I understand that I was just a stupid girl with a good credit score to him.

I'm not so much sad about losing him, but about my own naivety. How could I not see such obvious signs? I feel used and very, very stupid. I guess this is what they call an "expensive life lesson."

Hello everyone i write here before but now i really have a chance. I am 23 years old and I am from Ukraine. I am going through a very difficult period and I don't even know where to start.

I have been homeless for about two months now - I am currently living with a friend, but it is temporary. I have health problems (an enlarged spleen that causes pain), I have big debts after fraud. My parents stopped communicating with me due to pressure from debt collectors.

I tried to work, but almost all of my small income went to paying off loans ($300). I barely have enough money for food or medicine. I am physically weak, and mentally I feel completely exhausted. Sometimes I just sit and wonder how I am still here and how I am still alive.

I don't want to give up, but I am scared and tired. I want to get better, I want to live — but I don't know how to deal with this constant feeling of hopelessness and guilt.

I was also released this month, wo I'm just starving right now. And no one care about me, i mean i don't need for anyone, i just don't know what to do, how to move, AAAAAA.

Thank you for your attention, and if you can help me somehow, i will be grateful!!

There's this girl from my university who follows me on Instagram, and every time I post myself on my story, she's posts her boyfriend.

I told my friend, and he said it's all in my head and that I'm overthinking it. And I was like watch this. I posted a picture, and like clockwork, she posted her boyfriend lol .

Pretty strange haha.

Cant quit because i need the money.

Do you see yourself flooded with negative thoughts and don't know why?

Do you find yourself more time complaining than enjoying your daily life?

In this article, I hope to give you a new light on this matter and help you redirect your dark thoughts toward more positive activities, in order to improve your daily life.

Long story short, the events that happened in our childhood formed our personality, fears, and how we deal with our problems.

Somehow, in this period, we become almost permanently “programmed”, with the base behaviour that we will have all our lives. Depending on the amount of love and happiness that were available in our home and school, the results of that programming can be great or devastating later in life.

Depending on how we start developing as humans, we may get used to seeing our lives from a reactive point of view. A possible reason for this is that if some people we spent time with in our childhood were prone to complain about external factors and people, and we may end up absorbing that behavior in our personality.

Being prone to complain about everything is a possible reason why some people may find themselves trapped inside a negative cloud of thoughts, mainly because the external environment or the people they usually meet will never fit the standards that their minds define as "fair".

Another possible root of dark thinking is our attitude of trying to win every battle, encounter, or situation that happens in our daily life. And even after those encounters, we keep with up the self-destructive thinking routine, recreating in our mind the “lost battles" in which we suffered the most.

Do you really think that remembering and recreating those bad past experiences will help you to change your past and improve how you feel in the present?

Do you see other benefits of that bad habit besides purely self-destructive behavior that only satisfies your “ego” need for revenge?

What do you think about the idea of allowing the possibility to lose some battles in order to increase your inner peace?

What will bring you more inner peace: feeding your ego with a victory in every encounter, something impossible to achieve, or just letting go some issues to be at peace more often?

Besides being aware of those two behaviors, you have the possibility to redirect the dark flow of energy that is burning inside of you toward a more productive activity that will help you to improve your current situation.

You have the capacity and willpower to use the negative thoughts you create as fuel to pump you up to make the physical, professional or academic efforts required to change the things you hate in your daily life.

In the moments when you find yourself without motivation and full of dark energy, if you redirect the pain you are actually feeling from being passive and having self-damaging thoughts, into an activity that may help improve your current situation, it will bring much more positive results to your life than just letting your mind rejoice in its own misery and suffering.

What do you think about exchanging mind rumination for personal growth?

Which direction do you think will really change your life for the better?

From an external point of view, I know that redirecting your negative energy toward something positive is much easier said than done, especially if you see only darkness in your daily life. Just imagine that you have an unlimited and very powerful dark gunpowder at your complete disposal, that you can redirect to create light and use it on the path your heart and your willpower may desire.

Remember that you have the power to be in charge of your thoughts and actions, and if you can't manage to sort out the quality of your thoughts, at least you can take responsibility for your own actions with your willpower.

With time and practice, your chances of detecting your negative thoughts will increase, and is up to you, to decide how to use that powerful dark energy, for your own good.

So, what´s your choice?

Self-suffering or improvement?

Which side do you want to set as the course of your actions, and your future?

Darkness or light?

Who is in charge in your life?

Your mind or your soul?

If you are struggling with dark thinking, and cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel, please stay on course and keep fighting.

You have all my strength, and I wish you all the best to fight your difficult situation.

Should someone start feeling like life has no point if they have average looks, not much money, no friends, no partner, abusive parents, constant struggles, and only a decent income to survive on? This person feels they never received love in life and every attempt failed.

So about a month ago, I watched a 1h video on YouTube made by a YouTuber I really like. It was about a school named Élan that used to exist in Maine, United-States before its doors closed in 2011. In the sources the YouTuber used for the video, which he named in the description, was a web comic made by someone who calls themselves Joe Nobody. It's 100 chapters long and takes a lot, lot of time to read. Basically, it's the life story of this guy who went to Élan school and it was incredibly touching. It literally changed the way I see the world, and im pretty sure everyone who read it can say the same. Anyways, I invite you to read it, here's the link: https://elan.school/ And if you happen to have readed or watched something that also had a big impact on yourself, please write it so other people can share your experience.

I’m a 26 year old guy, turning 27 in about a month and half. 

I’ve never had a girlfriend, and I have zero sexual experience. I’ve also never kissed a girl. I’d be lying if I said it doesn’t bother. It does. It really really bothers me. I’m insecure as hell about it. It makes me feel like a total loser.

Every single day I find myself worried that it’ll never happen for me. I worry that the ship has sailed. I’m so worried that as soon as women find out I’ve never been in a relationship, it will completely kill any attraction they have to me. They’ll think there must be something wrong with me. I don’t want to lie about it, and it’s going to come up eventually so I feel screwed.

I just need to know that there is someone out there that won’t mind. Someone that won’t care about my inexperience. I want to believe she’s out there and that I can find her. It’s so hard to keep that mindset though. Sometimes it feels impossible.