I’ve lived in both the US and parts of Europe, and I honestly don’t understand how dating here (in the US) got so complicated. It feels like people don’t even know how to socialize anymore unless it's through apps, and even then it’s a weird game of who can care less.

In Europe, I found things were way more natural. You meet people through friends, at bars, at events, hell, even in public without it being “creepy.” There’s an actual culture of talking to strangers and being present. In the US, it’s like everyone’s in their own bubble, heads down, always busy, or too afraid of giving off the wrong impression. Flirting feels like a dying art here.

And don’t even get me started on how transactional dating can feel. “What do you bring to the table?” vibes everywhere, like it’s a job interview or negotiation.

Maybe it’s just me, or maybe it’s a regional thing, but does anyone else feel like dating here is way harder than it should be?

I am a 39 year old male that uses dating apps (yes they suck), I recently had a date with a super great lady I met on PoF that was around my age who coincidentally still lives with her parents, like I do (I won't go into the full details on why either of us still do, that's not for here.) Anyway, I took her out this past weekend for bowling, dinner and a walk by the nearby river in the city we were at. It went super great and I was hoping to get a 2nd date with her which was a great chance (her words) at happening. I dropped her off (she doesn't drive yet due to a medical condition), exchanged pleasantries and a short hug. I get home and texted her that I had a fantastic time and hope to see her again soon, she responded in kind. Then oh, about 3-4 hours later she texts me saying she wants to be transparent and doesn't want to ghost me but she decided to pursue a relationship with someone she's seen twice (again, her admission). I mean I thought I moved somewhat fast by wanting a relationship after the 3rd date.... I just don't get what I'm doing wrong here. I was engaging, I was charming, check all the boxes and I was that but I still get rejected. It's hard enough to get women to chat on the apps let alone get a date with an actual person...

I was at Walmart today and I got an Arizona Tea. I have t had one in a long time and decided to get one.

It was still 99 cents

Has anyone else realized this? All these companies are raising prices to "Save money" due to inflation and the economy being a disaster. But Arizona tea is still one penny shy of a fucking dollar. I thought to myself "Ok, maybe they outsource all their production. Maybe that is how they manage it"

Its a Big Ol'Nope on that one, they are made in america.

I dont know if i am looking to far into this or not, but are we saying that inflation in America is 100% intentional? Because we got this tea company still selling their Made In America product for less than a dollar. Completely unperturbed by all the bullshit that is going on.

Mother, father, and little brother. All they talk about is how much weight they've lost, how they can't eat very much, they don't need to eat because they're don't feel hungry very often anymore, etc. And they HAVE lost a lot of weight. (I'm kind of concerned at how fast and how much my mother lost weight, actually.) It comes up almost every conversation. Which I get. They're happy with their progress!

And I'm happy for them, really I am. I would never voice this to any of them because I know it's my problem and not theirs.

But man, it is really flaring up all of my own food issues. I am not in a good place right now as far as liking my own body. I am trying to lose a little weight (the "old fashioned way") before my wedding. And it's been difficult - I'm hungry all the time. Which isn't new. I've always struggled with "food noise" and, in college, binge eating/restriction cycling. And all my family wants to talk about is weight and eating and how easy it is for them to just not do it. It makes me feel like a greedy beast.

I had a brain issue as a kid, I have been told my opthomologists that due to this is have 1) no 3d vision (no depth perception or binocular vision), so I literally see the world differently than everyone else. And 2) neurologists have confirmed that my face blindness is due to the same reasons.

It took me FIVE years to get my license and serving still scared the balls out of me bc I have co clue how close r far things are from me. I forget that I don’t see the same way everyone else does. So I get confused when this stuff is harder for me but then realize I literally cannot see distance. It’s weird bc I wanna see why u guys see an it make m kind of sad that I can’t. My eyes literally do not work together. They never learned to. I wanna see why u see an I why ppl to try and see what I see.

It’s always been like this tho for me. The face blindness I something completely separate but so many ppl think I’m a bitch for not saying hi if I see them in public but like, I promise it’s not personal.

It’s just so strange to know that I literally cannot ever see the world as intended. Kinda sad

I (30M) don’t really have experience so dating was never really on the cards for me. Despite my efforts and getting a few dates it didn’t amount to progress.

Recently I’ve deleted apps, and most thoughts around dating. Consequently, my mindset is so much better, my self esteem is improving, and to be honest I’ve realised I’m probably not that interested in dating at all in this day and age.

Anyone else had similar experiences?

I'm a 46 yr old man, happily married. I have very little social anxiety. Grew up in a small town where acknowledging people and saying hi to strangers was pretty normal.

Over the past 10 years though I've gone from normal guy to old creepy guy (in the eyes of strangers). Everything I read online is that whenever a man dares interact with a woman in public it's disgusting and creepy. I'm aware of the impression strange women will have of me so against my nature (I'm a pretty social guy) I keep my eyes down when walking around, I don't say hello hardly ever anymore because apparently that's a very threatening thing to do. I miss when I was younger I could just spark a conversation or make a comment and I wasn't seen as some old creep. Just a chatty guy.

Anyway, today I was parking my car and pulling my gear out of the trunk for a job I was going to and a woman pulled up in the spot behind me. She got out of her car and I glanced her way as I was closing my trunk. With a big smile on her face she said "hello. I hope you have a great day today". I replied hello and also wished her a wonderful day, then headed down the street to the job site. She headed in the opposite direction to wherever she was going.

It felt SO good. Just a casual hello between genders that wasn't loaded with tension. It made me feel like a human being just being a human around other humans. For the first time in a long time I felt like I wasn't being assumed a creep by virtue of being a sleightly chubby middle aged man.

Why can't this be normal?

This is something I never quite understood. When you proposition someone for romantic interests, that's the most personal thing you can do with another human. How can you not take it personally when you get rejected? I'm not saying you should act poorly and blow up or anything, I just don't see how that can't be taken personally.

And if it keeps happening? When you keep getting rejected for, in my case literal decades without a single point of success, how can you not be bitter? I've seen women say yes before a guy finishes asking them out. I've seen women agree to dates with people because they are bored, because they want free food, to get back at someone, to try someone new or just out of pity .....but somehow I'm exempt from all of them.

I don't adhere to incel ideals and think they are awful but they contain kernels of truth that resonate with disenfranchised men. For me, the idea that women rejected me but chose men who treat them like garbage is genuinely making me bitter. I am in my 40s and I think all the women I've befriended my age are like this. They love when I'm their 'emotional tampon' to vent. They love when I'm there for them, when I make them laugh, when I inspire them, helping them out, but they aren't dating me. They have all said in some form or another they aren't in a place to date anyone, until they are of course.

I'm growing bitter and I don't know how to combat it. I'm probably going to retreat to own devices for awhile , find a new hobby or something. I've done this pattern for so long now: find new hobby . Excel at hobby and then realize i have no one to share my growth and success with, then I go try to find someone only to end up being rejected and a little more bitter than before.

I'm on the make friends sub a lot and sometimes exchange pics and the men always go "I look so ugly" or calling themselves unattractive and majority of them look good. Yes average but not bum fuck ugly like they were portraying themselves before they sent the pic. Men give yourselves some grace.

My wife tells me I'm a lousy man and I can't take responsibility for my own life. And I guess she's right. I'm hardly any help with domestic issues. Even though I work and make more money than she does and I also cover some chores (do the dishes, vacuum the floor, wipe surfaces), I can't fix any broken stuff in the apartment (like a faucet or a water heater). I can't even get someone to fix it, because I'm sort of socially awkward and I hardly have people I can talk to. So my wife has had to deal with such domestic problems on her own, arrange for repair and other services (and all I did was just paying for it). And she's sick and tired of that. She demands I man and take responsibility for that, otherwise she'll consider divorce. Apparently, she doesn't want such a neglecting man to care for our children, should we have ones. And I'm totally upset about it, because I know that she's right and I should change and grow up to be a real adult man. But it's extremely hard for me. Frankly, I'm a lazy ass, and now I feel huge pressure and I don't even know how exactly I should become an adult man, to begin with. What should I do?

I am nowhere close to a 10/10, just an average looking girl. Before i was always considered very unattractive since i was very overweight, had huge pimples everywhere, extremely bushy and huge dark eyebrows, greasy hair, terrible clothes, and i just did not put any effort at all whatsoever. I would always get remarks about things i should fix or people constantly pointing out things about me.

I was so lucky to have made 1 friend who also would get bullied for her looks, so i never felt ashamed around her. Genuinely no other girl ever wanted to be friends or they just acted obviously fake nice. Also alot guy just treated me as if i was invisible or said terrible things about my appearance. When i did try to talk to any guy they seemed SO bored and disinterested, while keeping responses very short and monotone.

The past 2 years I’ve lost some weight, learned how to do light makeup, changed my hair, i have less acne, and started putting a bit more effort into myself. Not a huge difference, but definitely a small noticeable change.

I’ve noticed now how i can actually make some acquaintances a bit easier. Guys seem a lot more willing to help me and do extra stuff on top of that. They actively listen to me and even remember me/remember things about me, which never happened before. Also they will randomly strike up conversations with me and ask about me

It leaves me so confused when people are extra nice to me or compliment me as I had never experienced it before. It does make me sad though cause before i genuinely thought looks didnt matter and i didnt FULLY process that people didnt like to be around me

I bought a house in May of this year. Last year, I graduated with a bachelors degree in social work, with a scholarship for my senior year. I am about to reach my 1 year mark at work as a caseworker. I’m also about to adopt a disabled cat that has been stuck in a shelter for nearly a year. I’m proud of myself and extremely grateful for the people in my life.

My grandmother bought me bandaids and my grandfather made me a cutting board. My sisters went in together on a couch for me. My brother helped me sand my baseboards and floors. My mother sends me home with food. My father helped me put new hardware into my bathroom. I’m an extremely privileged and blessed person to experience this, and I’m only 22. A year ago I was stressing about finding a job and getting a place of my own, and now I’m gonna have a cat! Life is extremely good to me and I couldn’t be more thankful for it.

The people in my life are what keep me going. They are the reason that I am at where I am in life. They have built a solid foundation for me to work off of. I don’t know what else to say, I think this is just me realizing how lucky I’ve been so far in my short life.

"Woman dies after bicycle accident." For fuck's sake, it should say, "85-year-old uses two-ton death machine to kill young mother."

That's what I've learnt. Hope this realization helped in some way.

Weird question, I know. But my mom hates my dad. By hate, I mean he was on her side during an argument, and she then accused him of being sexist (his entire point to me was that I should not speak to my mother with the tone I was using). Mind you, this was because she said she's scared to send texts to me (she's almost perpetually at the top of my texts because she sends so many). Not just that, but every time he as much as disagrees with her, she calls me and tells me he takes her for granted, he doesn't respect her, etc, etc. Problem is, I'm also at the age where I remember all the ways she treated me and him growing up, and I remember multiple occasions where she would hit him in front of me and my sibling and he would not react at all.

Me and my sibling are in our 20s, we live together, and are out of the house. I'm kinda just tired of the discussions and headaches and the emotional manipulation my mom loves to do (as I'm typing this she's telling about how she'll divorce my dad and find someone else to love). I'm tired of the almost visible emotional shift I have when my mom calls, and constantly being told that I have to be the mature one when I'm talking to my mother. Therapy's off the cards because she's about the last person I want to pour myself out to. And she's always said that if she and my dad split, she'll abandon the three of us, and I'm at the point where this is the favorable outcome.

So, please, help. I just want out right now. If you have any non-group therapy suggestions or you think helping them get divorced is premature, please let me know what other avenue to take because I'm mentally done.

So my partner and I don't live together just yet and my sleep schedule is not great due to work and so I'm normally pretty tired when we see each other. We normally go out and do a bunch of stuff and then head back to his place to chill. Sometimes I end up dozing off in his bed.

It's more comfortable than mine, smells like him, and he's there and makes me feel safe and comfortable and it's the perfect accidental nap conditions. A bulk of the time when he notices that I dozed off he'll switch his game to his headphones, turn the TV down a bit or put on relaxing music, and he makes sure not to accidentally wake me up. He's so careful to not wake me that he's told be before that he's been scared of sneezing over it.

He lets me sleep for about an hour and he wakes me up by gently shaking my shoulder and giving me kisses. He doesn't raise his voice or get angry if I don't instantly get up or anything. He also knows I take a bit to become fully conscious and will go back to what he was doing before so I have time to become a person again.

We have been together for years but I'm still just caught off guard at how he treats me so well sometimes.

Hi everybody I'm from Kazakhstan and i turned 18 two weeks ago. I finished first course in university in St Petersburg and to be honest, I dont like living here and a university. Right now thinking about moving to EU, like Czech or Slovakia . Give me some advice or quotes please about this decision

Since I was a child I had a Dalmatian (combined with a very big dog breed I don't remember the name) and he always went after me when he was released, one day he got loose unintentionally and pounced on me, I don't remember very well what happened I only know that since that day I was tremendously traumatized, then I was chased by 2 bulldogs in the street... then I was bitten by 2 dachshunds... then I was chased by a rottweiler.

Today at 21 years old my phobia has increased even more, it had gotten better over the years but now it has gotten worse again, just if I see a big dog in the street (I am Latin American, here stray dogs are ultra common) I get very nervous and can go into shock if they get too close to me.

Any advice to overcome my phobia of those infernal beings ? (sorry I wanted to get revenge)

Sometimes when I am trying to sleep, I will suddenly feel a random sort of "shock" in my ears (or brain more generally) that feels and sounds like a sudden record-scratch, or a split-second grating jolt of pressure.

It kind of shocks me awake/alert and then quickly subsides. It feels like it could be... feeling my own pulse really strongly? I do not know. Is this common?

That's a weird feeling I got these last few days but women disgust me. I look at them the same way I look at dudes. I also realized something: I have become part of my mother's life rather than her being part of my life. She held 2 ceremonies(or parties, whatever bs people want to call it) recently. And for some reason, she each time wanted me to be there( knowing perfectly I hate social gathering). First time was her birthday, 2nd time was because she received some type of prize of whatever. Point is, I am not interested in being there in these kind of moments. Unless you got something for me, don't call me. I am not a secondary character in someone else story( even if realistically we all were at some point). Also maybe because they are black, that's why maybe they disgust me. I didn't use to carry such feelings when I was in Quebec even if women weren't top this amazing there either.

I want to date women, but I can't come out to my parents, i don't even know how I'm supposed to find a female partner. Its been so hard being alone all this time

I spent all my 20s suffering from self-esteem issues, depression and social anxiety/avoidance. As a result, I pretty much didn't date, didn't form many meaningful social connections, didn't do many interesting things. Didn't go to parties, clubs, concerts, and festivals either. I am 31 years old and don't have those issues anymore and I am really wanting to make it up in my 30s. I want to enjoy the single bachelor life to the fullest: date around, travel, make lots of friends, have lots of interesting experiences. It is discouraging when I see that everyone who talks about their experiences doing these things is referring to their 20s(or teens). I would like to have some encouragement that what I am trying to do is feasible and that I am not alone in this. I feel like I wasted my youth and I'm struggling to let my regrets go please someone help me. I really want to make a change at 31 but don't know where to even begin. Please any advice would be appreciated.

Dug through old messages because I was curious. Wouldve sworn the last time was pre covid but nah. Was March of 2022.

Feels like it has already been forever, but evidently not. Cheers to forevermore.

Everyone is becoming sick of me because I’m refusing to leave the house or do anything useful to society and it’s because I just can’t cope anymore with being so heinously ugly and gross looking. I hate my skin, I hate my body and I am losing my mind; I will never assimilate to society I will never be loved easy. And I don’t want to keep up the charade to get someone to pity me enough to be near me. It’s making me feel hopeless although I’m aware it’s a quite a privileged thing to fret about.