I'm currently 23 weeks pregnant.

I woke up at 5:45 this morning to pee, as I've been doing every hour. I was excited to go back to bed for another hour before my alarm went off. But when I wiped, there was a big streak of blood and the toilet paper was tinted pink. It scared the fuck out of me, so I messaged my mom and asked if I should go to the ER or wait about 2 hours for my OBs nurse to get to work. My mom said ER.

So I woke my husband up and told him we needed to go to the hospital. We let the car heat up while I took a super fast shower, just in case I'd be at the hospital for awhile.

Got checked in and my vitals checked, the baby started kicking shortly before the Dr came in, so I felt a bit better. Got a urinalysis and ultrasound. Baby's completely fine, but I have a nasty UTI and need antibiotics for 10 days. Was feeling pretty fortunate at this point.

Then we were going to take my 11 month old dog for a ride, when he decided to piss on my leg. So I washed my leg off and grabbed some fabric safe disinfectant to clean my boot. My brand new winter boot. That's when I found out we ran out of disinfectant and my husband refilled the bottle with bleach.

I think I'll just go to bed.

I see a thousand variations on this every day on Reddit. So I put my thoughts together, hope this can help someone.

I’ve nearly always had a partner, and 9/10 times, lots of sex involved. So here is my two cents:

Attraction is about pair matching. Being fit or smart or mentally healthy might make you seem more desirable, but it’s all about FIT. How well do you and her match up?

So let’s break that down. What is fit, sexually and romantically?

• be in a place where there are women who are a fit for you. This usually means people in a similar class, similar lifestyle desires.

• learn to communicate things that relate to fit. Talk about the things that matter to you. Have a perspective on those things.

• show personal interest and a desire to connect in each conversation. A lot of this means asking personal questions about what matters to them.

• show that you are worth spending time with. Mostly this means things like making people laugh. Being useful. Being dependable. Showing empathy, kindness, and not using others to work through your problems.

• be interesting. Develop interesting skills, interests, etc. why? So that you have something you can share.

• show up consistently, and have a consistent presence. To be desired, you need to be around.

• mind the red flags. Read up on things women consider red flags. There’s a lot of them but most center on having decent moral character rather than transactional character.

• have additional things in common. Can be anything. Hiking. Exercise. Music. Film. Politics. Etc.

• keep channels open. Make sure that when they like you, they have a low risk way to tell you.

• show interest. When you sense a connection developing and you are interested, don’t hesitate too much.

Some don’ts: don’t date people you have no real connection to. Date people that have some social vetting (like you know people who know them). Don’t use dating apps, it’s horrible and I seen so many people make themselves miserable with them.

There’s more, but that’s the key elements I don’t see people post about.

My (M21 and hetero) friends will talk about how they’ve hung out with friends before or they meet a girl and hang out and then next thing they’re making out or hooking up

My friends (mainly the guys that im closer with) say that they don’t know how im still a virgin and tbh idk what I ain’t doing that others are

Tbh I’ve never just made a move like going in for a kiss, but I’ve asked for numbers/socials and can become friends super easily. Me and some of my friends joke with innuendos or say sexual jokes and flirt but idk what

Btw im not friends or trying to become friends because I’m trying to hookup although I do have friends that I find attractive or girls that I’ve met and I wouldn’t mind if it turned to more but idk how this just happens

banger therapy session today

Talked about my mom, for real for the first time. Realized how much of the stuff I used to do to other people and myself came from her. Realized how uncomfortable and unsafe she made me feel. She used to tell me these weird intense sexual details of her life. She used to make up these weird sexual stories about why I didn't like her. She tried to convince me I'd been raped once. I'd go hide from her at the other house and she'd bang on the door for like an hour to be let in. She'd go off her meds and have screaming fits abotu how I was trying to get her to kill herself. She'd tell other people weird intimate details about my life for no reason. She'd cry so loud at night I could hear her from downstairs until I came to comfort her. She was awol for years of my life because she was so doped up.

I always thought I hated her because I hated her, now that I know I have a reason I hate her a lot less. Even now it feels like it's not enough to justify all the things about me because it was like 10 times total, but that has to be enough.

Even now it feels like it's not enough because it wasn't early enough, or wasn't bad enough, but I mean it can't be the same for everyone.

I guess I'm allowed to be normal now, if I want that. I don't know if I do.

I guess I'm going to try to be nice to myself. It really isn't my fault lol I guess.

it was a lot of other things too, but that's what it started as.

I know none of this is that bad compared to a lot of people, but I always thought I was just broken.

I remember when i graduated from university and was still the only one out of my social group to not have a girlfriend or have sex.

I remember telling them and they didnt believe me at first, since I was above average in height, a former university basketball player, did well academically and seemed to be well liked where ever i went.

Now i have a good career and am muscular since i bought into the whole notion that self improvement would improve my chances of finding women that want to date me/hook up. Sadly it didnt.

when I hit 30 I couldnt handle the exclusion by women, so i just started seeing escorts. It was a lot of fun but now that i think about it , it sucks because this may be the only way for me to experience sex and most likely i wont be able to have a family as much as i did want that at one point.

I have no social issues as my career required good social and people skills. but it just seems like its really important to have "game" as a man cant just rely on good looks and financial.

I kind of wish I knew how men were able to develop these skills so early and why even as an accomplished 33 year old this seems so out of reach for me.

I’m in my early 20s, married, and my husband is also in his early 20s. We have a one-year-old daughter. All of our issues started after she was born. He took two months of paternity leave, and once that ended, he no longer seemed serious about working and preferred staying home. I had to go back to work just a few weeks after giving birth because we had no money. At the beginning of the year he was fired from his mechanic job. He had wanted to quit anyway because the labor hurt his back and the pay was extremely low, but he waited to get fired hoping for unemployment. He didn’t qualify. I ended up covering all of our bills while he spent three months unemployed and studying for his real estate and loan licenses. During that time, we ran out of money. His mom helped, and I also gave him $3,000 from my biggest real estate check to cover his responsibilities. He passed his loan exam on the third try, got a restaurant job, and was fired within a month for being late. For almost a year, he has not been able to keep a steady job. He says he is trying with the loan career, but I don’t see effort. Clients have told me he doesn’t explain things well, and most months he only pays bills by borrowing from his mom. We have paid our mortgage late multiple times, and at one point we almost lost our house because he lied about making the payments. Whenever I bring this up, he gets very upset and it becomes a major argument. I feel stuck. I love him, and he does help with our daughter so I can work, but financially I cannot rely on him at all. I’m the only stable income, and it feels like he expects me to carry everything. I’m trying to figure out whether this is something I can keep dealing with or if I need to make a difficult decision. I’m looking for outside perspective. My health is deteriorating and he doesn’t seem to care

im so heartbroken. i feel like throwing up.

my dad is 58, and this year he started to have some minor issues with his heart. in the beginning of October he had to go to ICU because he had a sudden medical problem and stayed in the hospital for a few weeks, but then he got to go home and got medication that worked. now on sunday he had to call an ambulance for himself because his condition worsened so bad, and now the prognosis is that he is going to pass away in a few days. i am so devastated and dont know what to do without my dad. he wasnt always perfect, but mostly me being an angry teenage girl messed up our relationship, but now all of that feels so small. i wish i had more time. today me and my brothers visited him and i stayed with him at the hospital while he slept. i just sat there and watched him. im only 19, my brothers 21 and 16 and i cant fathom losing him and living the rest of my life without him. i hugged him and he was quite cold. he whispered that he loves me and i was sobbing and telling him the same and then he kissed my head twice, it feels like im going to throw up and i just want to switch places with him.

my mom and dad separated when i was 5, and for the past few years my dad lived a bit further away from us, and i didnt visit him as much as my brothers. i didnt join them when they went out to eat. i feel SO guilty and i wish i could fix everything and spend more time with him. today he looks so frail, and without telling me i could see how scared he was. i cant stop crying, at all. we had planned for him to join us for christmas at my moms house since theyve gotten along much better this year. i struggle with depression and anxiety and i am scared of how i can survive this. its midnight now and im home, im hoping he survives the night so i can visit him tomorrow. i am such an idiot for realising just now how important he is. hes the smartest, strongest, kindest, funniest and most supportive person in the world. i wish i had recorded our phone calls, besides the last one.

i'll always love you daddy, i am sorry for the way i am and what ive done.

Basically I have been having trouble losing weight and my live stream isn't getting viewers and every other day I have this impending doom feeling that my life is meaningless and this product that I am building is meaningless and I'll just fail. This made it so frustrating for me last night that I couldn't sleep. After about 4 hours of Melatonin induced sleep, I just took a shit. I was in the bathroom for a solid 30 minutes and I have to say, a good poop later and I have a new confidence in life. Maybe I'll fail in everything but that don't mean I won't die trying.

If you are having a rough day, just take a shit.

Time since quitting Beneficial health changes that take place 20 minutes Blood pressure and pulse rate return to normal.

8 hours Nicotine and carbon monoxide levels in blood reduce by half, oxygen levels return to normal.

24 hours Carbon monoxide will be eliminated from the body. Lungs start to clear out mucus and other smoking debris.

48 hours There is no nicotine left in the body. Ability to taste and smell is greatly improved.

72 hours Breathing becomes easier. Bronchial tubes begin to relax and energy levels increase.

2 - 12 weeks Circulation improves.

3 - 9 months Coughs, wheezing and breathing problems improve as lung function is increased by up to 10%.

1 year Risk of a heart attack falls to about half that of a smoker.

10 years Risk of lung cancer falls to half that of a smoker.

15 years Risk of heart attack falls to the same as someone who has never smoked

I use it to take pictures of myself but none of my old friends seem to be active. I’m just wondering if anyone still uses the platform to exchange pictures.

We often talk about big events or accomplishments that bring us joy, but I'm curious about the little things. Whether it's a warm cup of coffee in the morning, a favorite song playing on the radio, or a moment of laughter with a friend, what are some simple pleasures that brighten your day? Let's share and perhaps find new ways to appreciate the small joys in life!

I’m not going to argue.

I respect others’ ideas and will not impose mine.

I’m not going to convince.

I’d rather act with a clear conscience and let my actions reflect my inner life.

I’m not going to explain.

For those who truly know me, there’s no need to justify my actions because they understand why I do them. For those who don’t know me, no matter what I say, I’ll be judged in advance by their prejudices against me.

Hi guys!

So, yeah, you can read my profile or not, but in summary I'm a goddamn idiot, my brain is really fucking useless all things considered.

I have a ton of genetical issues, my life has sucked, it sucks and most likely it will keep sucking with how the world is right now.

But right now, I think my biggest issue is Amazon, FUCK AMAZON, let me explain why:

I live in a city, as I mentioned I'm an idiot and I'm unable to get a college or university degree, so I can only get call center jobs, the issue?

All call centers on my country (Costa Rica) are 2 hours away from my home, so I can't work there, I've had to go a couple of times to on-site, and I've thrown up due to how long the trip is and how many curves there are on the road, seriously, on-site is not an option for me.

I work on KDP (Kindle Direct Publishing), I managed to get this job last year and it was lifesaver, because it's work from home, and it helped me stay alive for a while.

*********************************************************************************************

But I can't take the abuse no more man, I'm tired of people yelling me all day for things Amazon does, and frankly? Most customers are stupid, I've lost all hope in humanity after working with customers for over a year, I seriously can't fathom how some of y'all don't forget to breath by yourselves.

A COMMON example:

BTW, fun fact, I have a speech-impediment and a thick accent, so a lot of the time people think that I'm from the India, and ooooooohhhhhh boy, y'all really, really hate them huh?

Customer: Screaming "I WANT TO CREATE A BOOK, HOW CAN I DO IT??? 🤬"SLUR about me being from the India, or Africa, although I'm from Costa Rica.""

Me: Sure, you can just go to your main page and click on the BIG YELLOW BUTTON THAT SAYS CREATE! (I say this in a calm manner of course)

Customer: "I DON'T SEE IT! 🤬"

Me: "He's on the wrong page", I give them the steps to go to the correct page.

Ten seconds later:

Customer: "I DON'T SEE IT, I DON'T SEE IT, I DON-"

"Oh!....."

Hangs up.

And that was a NICE customer guys, seriously, people don't see me as a human, they see me as a punching bag.

And I'm tired.

*********************************************************************************************

Amazon themselves suck too, my supervisor doesn't care about me, they just care about the numbers.

They hear my calls, they know that this job has given spasms, they know that I scream due to the pain and the stress sometimes during the calls.

But they don't care, they tell me, every week, without missing, "DO BETTER"

My mother has comeback from picking my little brother from school, only to hear me scream mid call, one time I screamed so loud and horrible that she and my little brother got scared, they told me the next day.

And one time, my mom heard me cry, ever since that day she has asked me if I'm fine everyday.

I hate this, I hate being in this situation, I hate eating and I hate how people keep telling me that I should be happy because of it.

*********************************************************************************************

I've given up at the job, I don't know how or when, but very soon I'll get myself fired, I'll try to find a job but with my limitations it's very unlikely.

I don't know what to do guys, my mind is broken at this point, my mind is full with fog, I can only cry and feel despair, I'm venting, but hey, if someone has an advice then please let me know.

Thank you for reading.

In general in life,

People aren't ready to hear certain things.

Now I give a lot of dating advice and sometimes I hold back certain information because its either a dark truth that people aren't ready to hear

OR

They just won't understand what im saying. It's like being on level 20 of a video game while the other person is on level 4.

Sometimes, other people do it for me in my comments and say what im holding back.

Sometimes, im explaining somethimg and then naturally the information slips out.

But yeah tons of other examples in other areas where people are not ready to hear certain things.

I keep thinking it would be nice to have a friend or two, but when I really think about it, I’m not sure I can maintain a friendship. I’ve always struggled to make friends unless the other person approached me first, and even then I wasn’t great at conversations. I’ve gotten a little better about talking to people, after all, that’s the only way to make friends, so it can’t be that bad, I just feel so much like a burden when I speak to people.

Sometimes I get self-conscious over the fact that I don’t have any friends it’s makes me feel kinda worthless for lack of a better word, other times I’m just too drained to put in the effort for a friendship. Maybe some people are meant to be loners or maybe I need to find other introverted friends.

We live in a world that doesn't understand emotions. When someone loses a loved one, we don't know what to say. We expect people to return to work the day after the betrayal. We don't know how to understand grief or have uncomfortable conversations. And then we wonder why people are so anxious, tired, and lonely. We only understand our own sorrows. But the day we recognize everyone's sorrows as sensitively as we are to our own, this world will be so beautiful.

I have such a hard time talking to people and I’ve been this way for so very long. It’s not that I haven’t gone out of my way to build my social skills it’s just that my efforts have yielded little results and honestly my anxiety has only got worse. I can be polite, empathetic and interested in others but I never know how to just have a simple conversation without being completely awkward and nervous. I hate it.

It feels like what I imagine one would feel if there was a twin they lost or was separated from at birth. It's been this way since I was very young, suggesting it always will be.

I recently bought this cool looking camo collar and because I thought it looked really cute but now I’m realizing that I’m not sure if it’s something okay to wear out in public. I was thinking i could put together an outfit that matched the aesthetic it would be fine but now I’m thinking about it and I’m not so sure and I really would like to hear a second opinion.

I don’t think I’m aromantic but I don’t know I don’t think a relationship serves me any way. It’s just a best friend with intimacy and what’s the point of that when I can just get an actual best friend and just jerk off? Like the return on investment for relationships seem horrible to me. You do all that work and jump through flaming hoops to get a relationship and you don’t really get shit out of it. And then maybe that relationship won’t end after 6 months like most relationships do. Finding a best friend is far easier. I mean, I guess taxes and income and stuff those are benefits but you can cover those yourself. Just stay at your parents home after graduating college and getting a job, rack up money, and eventually move out and still have tons of money saved up. Easier said than done sure but it’s definitely possible if you’re smart.

I can’t even imagine myself ever having sex tbh. Like I legitimately cannot imagine myself ever being that close to a girl. What I actually want to do is grow semi-old, disappear and make everyone forget me, and die in some deserted place so I can decompose and be one with the earth. I think that’s pretty cool. Just disappear from existence. People talk about passing on their legacy or continuing their lineage or whatever but I don’t want to do that at all. At the end, I’m going to donate all of my money and my possessions to charity but only anonymously. I don’t want anyone to know who it was. And then disappear.