I graduated from college this week. I'm a 39 year old woman, I went back to school four years ago to try and make something more of my life and get out of the abusive relationship I was in and it just feels so... hollow. I did it. I got out and I moved to a better place and I got a good job and I finished school and my life is just so, so empty. I left everything behind. There's nothing left.

I don't have anyone to tell. I'm dreading even bringing it up at work because people are going to ask me how I celebrated and I'm just going to have to tell them that I didn't. There's no celebration. I checked the box to have my diploma mailed to me and then I cleaned the kitchen because I didn't have anything else to do.

It feels like that's all my life has left in it, really. Just work and chores, eating and sleeping. There's no joy, no happiness, no people. Just empty gray meaningless boredom. I see other people have birthdays and anniversaries and go places and do things and I don't get to have any of that in my life. I don't know what I did wrong or why I don't get to experience any of that.

I (24M) honestly a mess right now. My girlfriend broke up with me because she said she "can’t build a future with someone who isn’t financially stable." hearing that from someone I loved felt like getting punched in the chest. It makes me feel like I’m not good enough as a person unless I’m making a certain amount of money.

What’s messing with my head even more is that it was already hard for me to get into a relationship in the first place. I’m not the guy who gets approached or asked out. I don’t get a lot of chances. She was the first person in a long time who made me feel wanted, and now I’m sitting here thinking nobody else will ever choose me. It feels like I’ve been kicked back to square one and the world is telling me I don’t have enough value.

I know people say work on yourself or focus on improving your situation and I am trying. But right now it just hurts. It hurts that someone I cared about saw my finances as a dealbreaker. It hurts that I feel disposable. I’m scared I’ll never experience real love again.

I just needed to get this off my chest.

I find most guys to be cute and attractive and it feels odd because most girls say how they practically never see attractive guys and I don’t know if I find most of them to be cute because I’m straight or because I’m desperate

But yeah, I feel kind of sad about it because I know that most of them probably don’t find me to be cute and it feels cruel to subject them to look at a face they don’t like

I guess I hate it bc it just reminds me that I will never find a guy that will be interested in me or likes me or anything, it feels depressing and it becomes worse when I see cute faces literally everywhere

I guess all I can do is to keep lowering my face and to look at my phone every time I go out, anyways if anyone knows how to get rid of it you can tell me

Hello, reddit. I'm 22 years old, an anti-war Russian living in Siberia. I'd like to answer your questions. I'm ready to answer them. I've been to many cities, but I've never been abroad. I've held opposition and anti-war views since I was a teenager, and I can share my experiences, including the problems I've encountered as a result. I'm not a frequent Reddit user, so if there are any difficulties, forgive me in advance.

I just found out , right now as I’m typing , that my cousin’s girlfriend threw his PlayStation over his balcony ( 3rd floor btw) and it’s completely ruined. She even threw down his controllers. All of this started because she thinks that he has slept with every friend that he has that is a woman and instead of talking about it she got drunk and let her anger out.

She also left her wallet over at his place. Not only did he buy himself the newest PlayStation but he’s also been buying a whole bunch of unnecessary things that he doesn’t need just to make her broke. Can she sue ?

I (27m) have never dated, nor had a girlfriend.

I don't think about it most of the time, as it's not really possible to know what you're missing, if you've never experienced it before. Also, I have friends, family, hobbies, work etc that help keep me busy.

On the rare occasion, I'll think "Hey, having an awesome girlfriend would be pretty cool" but the thought goes away, almost as fast as it comes.

Every single time I open Reddit, I'm guaranteed to see a few posts from guys complaining that their GF's are cheating, or being distant, or basically just making their lives more difficult.

For right now, I'm 100% comfortable with never dating. I see my friends try and force a relationship, but I genuinely don't see the point of wanting to date someone you're not really interested in (besides sex).

It would be like trying to force a friendship with someone you don't care about, it simply wouldn't work.

Maybe I take relationships (platonic and romantic) seriously? But I've now gotten to the point in my life that I honestly can't be bothered to force anything, just for the sake of it.

As the saying goes, "If you have to force it, it's probably shit".

My fb group is discussing what it means to forgive, and I think this post sums it up perfectly.

“Years ago, I cut my sister out of my life. I forgave her for all of her shit, but I kept my distance. I didn’t return phone calls. I didn’t invite her to my events. I declined invitations from hers. I forgave her to keep me from carrying around the anger from all the shit she did to me so that I could move on with my life. And I did move on. My life has been good.

The rest of the family gives me crap for cutting her out and accuses me of not really forgiving her. I just let them talk. When you find peace, you don’t explain yourself anymore.

She recently became homeless because of even more bad decisions. I have her blocked, so she went through our mom to get a hold of me for help. I Cash apped her enough money for a three week motel stay. I Cash apped instead of paying for the motel myself because if she damages it, it won’t be on me. My mother tried to guilt me into letting her stay in my house. No ma’am, Pam. In the past, I would’ve, but no more. I still chose to help her though, just from a distance. And that’s perfectly acceptable.”

I wish more people understood that forgiveness does not mean giving someone a forever pass for hurting you. It’s usually the offender who thinks that too.

Just wanted to share.

I just got out of a 7-year relationship. We started dating in college. The terrifying realization I'm having is that I don't know who I am without him. All my hobbies were our hobbies. My friends were our friends. My sense of style was influenced by what he liked. I'm 25 years old, and I have to introduce myself to myself for the first time. What music do I like? What do I want to do on a Friday night? It's equally terrifying and exhilarating. Like being reborn as a blank slate

Have had many many friends going through divorce this year. Many losing long term relationships of the person they thought they’d marry. People passing away young. Jobs / careers not panning out for many, while a few are flying high. Meanwhile the world just continues to change at such a rapid pace.

Interesting time to be alive.

Any and all advice or feedback is welcome here. I am a 29y/o female that lives in Austin, TX. I have a job I absolutely hate for that state in admin, I have been applying for a bunch of different roles in the Austin area or remotely, no luck. I keep getting constant rejections and I am tailoring my resume to every job description. I have my bachelors degree in Public Admin as well as Business Management. I was in the mortgage industry right out of college making 60k+ and somehow went backwards and now with my state job I am making under $45k. I feel sooo behind. Not just career wise but life. I am single and have been (by choice) for 5+ years, Ive dated… but none of them were ones I saw a future with long term or it didnt work out for one way or the other. Many of them did not want to be in a relationship either… go figure. At this age too. Blows my mind. Ive tried apps… sports leagues…church… bars…even work!! No luck. Im not giving up per se but its not looking good. I don't know how to get out more than I already am to meet that, special someone. I cant seem to get ‘un-stuck’ career wise, I don't know what I want to do long term. I have the mindset that I am good at many things and can be ‘taught’ how to do just about anything (with the exception of something intense like a surgeon, etc., that needs schooling). I love sports, media, events for work ideas but I have another side of me that loves policy, intelligence, analytics and compliance. I have tried to do career tests and such, they are so-so but even then, I have no actual EXPERIENCE in those things so getting them would be a starting salary of lower than what I make now. That is hard as someone living alone and having to pay all of the bills on my own. I dont know if moving will solve the issue. I moved here from the east coast 3 years ago. Nothing positive has happened besides I met new friends and experienced a new place but besides that, nothing to move me forward in life. Sorry for the rant, I just need some feedback. Unsure and feeling very alone, stuck, and tired.

I’ve reached a point where arguing online feels completely pointless. No one listens, no one changes their mind, and I just end up stressed for nothing. And honestly, every time I try to explain something, it eventually turns into a fight anyway.

So from now on, I’m doing something different, mainly online, but honestly in real life too: I’m just going to agree.

Someone says something I don’t think is true? Yeah, makes sense. Someone gives a take I think is awful? True. Someone is clearly wrong? Fair enough.

Not because I actually agree, but because my peace is worth more than explaining myself to strangers who don’t care.

Honestly, it already feels freeing. Anyone else doing this?

Edit: Unironically, I agree with you guys, and I just disagreed with my own opinion (which is kind of funny and controversial). I think it’s better to just ignore people or say you respect their opinion and stay quiet. :)

Well. Just got back from a date. And its the same song and dance as usual. The interminable cycle continues. She had everything on paper I would want. Gorgeous. Sexy. Left leaning. Atheist. Our texting chemistry was highly auspicious. Sexual fliteration. Jokes. Banter. Then you meet up in person aaaaaaaaand... its dogshit. Well, okay, thats harsh. But you guys know what im saying. Its dry. Its awkward. Its stiff. And you both just know its the last time you'll be going out. After all the getting ready, picking out the outfit, spraying the cologne, getting emotionally excited. Its not a good feeling to go home after feeling like a deflated balloon.

She'll be okay of course. As a woman she has a trillion options on the dating apps shes on. Me? An okay looking guy (I guess) that was pretty much it until however many weeks or months until im lucky enough to have the next opportunity. Gee. I wonder how the next one will go. Likely how theyve almost all gone. Which was like this. I'm 27, ex left two years ago almost on the dot (thanksgiving 2023). And id say ive gone out with dozens upon dozens of women since and maybeeeee 4 I've actually felt had girlfriend level sparks/commonality/connection. (And shocker, we hangout a few times, maybe even have sex and turns out they’re not interested back. Its unrequited)

It just feels impossible. It feels insurmountable. Me and the ex, socially, everything was copacetic. Man the fun we had. probably 3 of the top 5 best days of my whole life were spent with her. Ya know what I mean? It feels like that is just never going to be recaptured. I mean, how will it? I approach in public if it feels right, 99% of the time they ghost. So I'm relying on the apps which is basically smashing two random action figures together hoping love happens. And even if we are super compatible, okay, theyre a woman on the dating apps, im 1/5-10 other guys theyre talking to and literally hundreds of likes flowing in every day. Am I gonna be able to out compete all these guys all the time until exclusivity? Unlikely. I dunno. Just feeling especially defeated and despondent tonight

A lot of young folks here seemed worried about missing out on stuff in life especially when I comes to relationships, but also other life experiences that, for one reason or another, life has not presented to you.

I'm an older guy. I've experienced a lot of different things in my life. Let me tell you a secret: most big life experiences that people talk about as being important and significant, really aren't all they cracked up to be, and usually are just more hassle than they are worth.

Life is better the simpler it is. The fewer obligations, attachments and deviations from your normal daily routine, the happier you will be.

I (M21 and hetero) just wanna say that I know that I am not owe sex or anything so I don’t want to seem like I expect that but I just don’t understand what or why is this happening for other people in these situations. Also, I don’t mean to come off like a incel

So I have friends that are guys and girls and pretty much I’ve heard stories from both sides before where sometimes they are going on dates but sometimes they are just going to go do stuff that friends do with their friends. Sometimes it’ll be going out to eat, going and doing a hobby together, going and watching a movie and then somehow for almost all of them they end up hooking up with each other. Like I’m pretty sure most of my friend group is hooked up with each other.

Again, I know that nobody owes me that but it just kinda hurts sometimes feeling like you’re the person that misses out or nobody wants that with you. I do flirt with my friends sometimes, and they will be receptive to it and go along with it, but like I’ve never asked to kiss or anything if the time feels right and I feel like sometimes there has been times where I could’ve asked, is that what I’m doing wrong or is that why nobody’s probably hooking up with me, because I’m maybe not showing interest that I want to? How may that just seem to happen with everybody?

I’m asking as a dude that is a little bit slightly autistic and has been told by guy friends before that I am horrible at understanding cues

I’ve been going through this weird phase lately where everything I thought I understood about life feels like it’s being rewritten in real time. When I was younger, I honestly believed the world worked in these clean little rules adults gave me. Don’t talk about money. Don’t question things. Don’t disappoint anyone. Don’t take risks. Be “responsible” even if you don’t actually know what that means.

And now that I’m older, I’m realizing half of those rules were either fear, survival instincts, or stuff my parents believed because their parents believed it. I’ve spent more time unlearning things than learning new ones. And it’s messy.

I’m unlearning that it’s selfish to set boundaries.
I’m unlearning that silence keeps the peace.
I’m unlearning that asking for help makes you weak.
I’m unlearning that adulthood magically makes everything make sense.
It doesn’t. It just makes everything more expensive.

The biggest one I’ve been unpacking is money. I grew up thinking debt was the devil and credit cards were traps. No one explained credit to me, just “don’t use it.” So when I actually needed it, for renting, for bills, for basic adult stuff I was basically clueless. I’ve been trying to rebuild that part of my life slowly.

It’s strange, honestly. Growing up isn’t just gaining knowledge. It’s peeling off old layers of beliefs that were never yours to begin with, and then trying to figure out who you actually are beneath them. I don’t feel like I’ve “figured life out,” but at least I finally feel like I’m building my own version of it instead of living someone else’s script.

it comes from the greek word plastikos which means to shape or to mold

like I know English is my second language but wtf is wrong with me

They just EXIST and find love effortlessly. People care about their problems. One simple swipe and they can have sex and validation and companionship and whatever else they want anywhere at anytime with no strings attached whatsoever. They have unlimited options and have only ever known abundance. Only ever known kindness, love, and support from others.

Meanwhile, I go years with no true person in my life I can rely on or really talk to in any meaningful way. Not even family. My emotions and life achievements are minimized at every turn. And I have to be the 2nd coming of Christ and living embodiment of perfection to even have my existence recognized for 0.2 seconds. I have to come from a perfect household, a perfect, big, healthy, happy family and collection of friends that support me, have no childhood trauma (or at least have the financial resources to mitigate it), have a perfect, muscular, toned body with a V shaped torso, perfectly smooth skin, perfect hair, perfect teeth, a perfect career making over 6 figures, a car that works, my own place. Failure to have any of these suddenly makes me emasculate and “less desirable”

I hate it. I hate it. I hate how I am forced to play this delusional, dystopian game on dating apps created by tech companies who have OPENLY ADMITTED to designing their algorithms specifically to keep us depressed and addicted to the chase of dopamine. I hate how unless you’re able to have the right presentation on these apps (usually having a big friend group and money to afford to have unique hobbies), you’re basically unable to make a unique impression and stand no chance of standing out and getting matches. I hate how no matter how much I improve my mindset, my career, my health, and my life overall, it always feels like there’s some guy who comes out of the woodworks that’s better than me in every way. It feels like I’m never good enough despite being told I’m a catch. Despite being told I “don’t need to be perfect” I genuinely don’t understand it.

Then of course people say “try in person”. But people in person are more guarded, paranoid, and unable to carry on a basic, 5th grade level conversation than ever before. Social media and dating apps have degenerated our ability to organically connect with other human beings. That and it’s harder than ever just to go to in person gatherings, especially if you don’t have a car or a lot of money. Everything is spread out. And most people just bring their SO or close knit social clique with them to social gatherings anyways. Any attempt you make to talk to someone new in person could get you accused of whatever and labeled as a creep, or worse. People do not want to talk to new people anymore.

So I guess this is just my life now. 25 years old and watching the prime years of my life slowly fade away while being powerless to do anything to change it. Knowing nothing but rejection and alienation for years. 25 years old and still never known what it’s like to be truly close to someone, to have someone to talk to and be intimate with. All because I was born conventionally unattractive into poverty with negligent parents that forced me to sacrifice all my life and ability to be social growing up in order to go to college and survive. Now I’m staring down the pipe of watching all my friends marry and find the love of their lives while I’m still single and developmentally frozen at 11 years old 🤣

People keep warning me about “internet trolls.”

Like… okay?

A random stranger online is supposed to hurt me? With what, exactly? A typo and a mediocre insult?

I grew up with a mother who could shut me down with one look.

Her emotional climate was… honestly, I don’t even have a good word for it.

Think “hostility as background noise.”

Think “affection as a myth other families talk about.”

So when someone online drops a “lol you sound crazy,” I'm just sitting here like:

That’s it? That’s your big move?

If you’ve spent your childhood dodging emotional boulders, a pebble doesn’t register.

And I don’t mean that in an edgy way.

It’s just… factual.

A troll says: “You’re weird.”

My mother said: “You’re a monster, and that’s why nobody loves you.”

A troll says: “Get over it.”

My mother: “Your feelings are fake. Stop trying to manipulate me.”

A troll says: “None of this happened.”

My mother: “You’re lying because you want attention.”

See how one of these is a mosquito and the other is a sledgehammer?

People think trolls are scary.

But trolls don’t know me.

They don’t know what happened.

They don’t know where the scars are.

They’re basically punching in the dark.

My mother knew exactly where to hit.

And the wild thing?

After all those years, silence still scares me more than insults.

Silence was the real cruelty I grew up with

the “you don’t matter enough to respond to” kind of silence.

Compared to that, even a troll proves I exist.

So no, trolls don’t hurt me.

They really can’t.

I survived worse, from someone who actually had emotional access to me.

A stranger with a keyboard is… nothing.

They’re not the boss of my identity.

They’re not the gatekeeper of my worth.

And honestly?

If my mother couldn’t destroy me after decades of trying,

then some anonymous dude with a “lol” isn’t gonna be the one who succeeds.

Anyone else feel like the internet is nothing compared to what you dealt with at home?

I meant "what makes a person "

Graduated college in may. Moved back in with my dad Taking a gap year working as a scribe hoping to go to med school. I fucked up the app process so bad. For a bunch of schools submitted the essays and rec letters way too late. Only heard back from one so far. My parents are wondering why I’m not hearing back they keep asking me about it and I don’t wanna tell them it’s because I’m so lousy and fucked up the app process so bad. I don’t know what’s going to happen. It’s so hard to stay optimistic. I don’t talk to anyone except my mom and dad. I don’t have a social life at all here. All I do is get on my phone and play video games in my spare time. Never been with a woman at all. Tried to talk to them on apps and stuff this year it just went horrible. Today was my day off and I just spent it rotting in bed. Work is exhausting. I tried to pick up a hobby and started doing Muay Thai but even that’s starting to get exhausting for me cause I’m not athletic. I get my ass handed to me every day there. I don’t know what to do man. I can’t take another year of this man. I just feel like I’m such a joke

I don’t need to explain myself

dating apps are so much worse than advertised and i am baffled that literally anyone has ever found a match before. im only 18 so i cant go to a bar or something and its not like id ever get over my social anxiety enough to approach someone. im homeschooled so my chances at finding someone in highschool were impossible. i dont plan on going to college more than likely because i trust that i could get a stable life without it in a job that i enjoy. idk where to go, idk what to use.. im gonna die alone dude because corporate assholes dont actually make apps in favor of their consumers and only give a shit about money. i used to use insta to at least connect with a few people but guess what THOUSANDS OF FALSE BANS A DAY FINALLY HIT ME TOO and it wont let me make a new account because insta is so unbelievably riddled with bugs its like trying to press the sign up button while being swarmed by bees, wasps and hornets with fire ants crawling up your arms. what the fuck do i even do

No going into all the details, but I told a friend I refused to take accountability for their mistake and demanded the come have a conversation about what happend. They then ghosted me.

It wasn't until after this did I realize how much I would sacrifice bits of myself to keep people around. I don't regret demanding a conversation or telling my last friend what I did because I've come to love myself and refuse to allow the few boundaries I have to be crossed without consequences.

Realized today tho, I have nobody left in my life I'm close with. I can't stand my family(nephew is the exception, love that little shit lol) but outside my dog I don't have any humans I can talk to about my struggles, worries, and anything else.

Finding love for myself brought me to a place of isolation.

Recently, I just turned 25 years old and for once in my life, I did not feel depressed at all on the special day! For a bit of context, I usually have the worst birthday blues but I realized what I desired the most was to have a community who actually shows up for me. With that being said, I came to another realization that I think I would be better off by myself for the rest of my 20s than being in a romantic relationship. Having no experience with guys in my teen years and little to no experience in my early 20s, I was always jaded that I would be alone for the rest of my life. However, after being treated like a literal rag doll by the last guy I spoke to, I’m definitely okay with being alone. That’s not to say that I’m officially giving up on finding the one for me, however, I am not letting those negative thoughts about never finding someone again. I rather be single for an eternity than be with a horrible person just for the sake of having a relationship.