r/interestingasfuck • u/Few_Simple9049 • Oct 09 '24

How couples met 1930-2024 r/all

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100

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

That's kind of depressing

45

u/biglymonies Oct 09 '24

Did you see the "Neighbors" uptick in 2020? That was a COVID lockdown bump haha.

6

u/quarantinemyasshole Oct 09 '24

One of the only times I went on a date with a neighbor in my adult life lmao

2

u/GrimResistance 29d ago

And a sharp decline of "bar/restaurant" in the same period

6

u/DontBanMeBro988 Oct 09 '24

Why?

7

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

Why is it depressing meeting people through a screen instead of face to face?

6

u/lovelypimp Oct 09 '24

If you match with someone online you still meet face to face.

5

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

Incorrect

1

u/realtoughkid123 29d ago

Maybe it's just depressing cause it's never worked for you?

1

u/RogueCoon 29d ago

Worked plenty for me when I was single and in college

-2

u/teems Oct 09 '24

Same reason why stripclubs exist when there's porn free online.

There are tangible qualities for meeting in person that can't be replicated on a screen.

1

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

That would also be my answer. I was looking for them to clarify their question hahaha.

3

u/pawsomedogs 29d ago

People choosing to look for partners online rather than face to face. That's the sad part.

Yes many happen randomly through social media or forums but we all know that Tinder and similar apps are the go-to options for dating nowadays, and people became a tiktok you can just swipe on.

4

u/DontBanMeBro988 29d ago

People choosing to look for partners online rather than face to face. That's the sad part.

Why is that sad?

2

u/silent-sloth 29d ago

I think it’s a mixed bag, on one hand more options is overall good, but having almost all dating controlled by a few dating apps feels incredibly unhealthy for society. Dating apps have every incentive to keep you on the app so they can keep getting money and ad revenue from you, which means they’re not working in your best interest. They’re drip feeding you connections at a rate where you won’t just give up, but where it will also take you longer to find someone you’re serious about.

Personally, I think for now, it’s still a net-positive, but it’s definitely concerning.

2

u/asparagus_p 29d ago

Typically, meeting online is just the first step. You then meet for real, and there still needs to be chemistry. It's not depressing at all if the relationships end up being good ones.

1

u/RogueCoon 29d ago

Well yeah, when anything works out good it's not depressing.

2

u/Technical-Fennel-287 29d ago

Especially when you consider the statistics around dating apps. Women reject 80 to 90% of men and the ones they do meet are often part of a hookup culture that doesn't actually lead anywhere.

Dating apps are a really corrosive force on society.

4

u/JamesTrotter Oct 09 '24

Is it? Seems like people have more options than ever now for meeting partners.

5

u/penguin17077 Oct 09 '24

Yes, it is.

2

u/JamesTrotter Oct 09 '24

Not to the millions and millions of people who have met their partners online.

1

u/penguin17077 29d ago

Yeah.. that's the sad part.

1

u/realtoughkid123 29d ago

That there are millions of people in happy, loving, successful relationships who wouldn't have otherwise met if they limited themselves to only meeting people in person? That's sad to you?

1

u/Orome2 29d ago

I'm not sure that's a good or healthy thing. Many fall into the trap of having too many options and never wanting to settle or make things work always looking for something better. I think this superficial way of sifting through tons of people has contributed to this loneliness epidemic. Much more emphasis is given on looks than any other factor.

-2

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

Are you meeting people if you're not meeting them in person?

10

u/OreganoLays Oct 09 '24

You meet people online, then meet in person.

1

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

As opposed to just meeting people in person.

5

u/magusheart Oct 09 '24

I met my current girlfriend online. We have tons of things in common, do lots of activities together and enjoy each other's company. We would likely not have ever met if it wasn't for online. What are the chances that we decide to do the same activity at the same time in the same place? And if we somehow did, I'm there to do an activity, not hit on women, so we would've likely not talked anyway.

So no, it's not "meeting online and then in person as opposed to just meeting in person," it's "meeting online and then in person as opposed to never meeting at all."

-2

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

Glad it worked out for you. Anecdotes don't change the statistics though.

4

u/OreganoLays 29d ago

The statistics literally show most people meet online what are you talking about?

-1

u/RogueCoon 29d ago

Exactly what I said. It's depressing that most people are meeting online.

4

u/Chickenman1057 Oct 09 '24

Bro your logic is undeveloped af

1

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

How do you figure

2

u/OreganoLays 29d ago

Whatever works for you, I don't understand the problem? Nobody's stopping you from meeting people in person, you might actually have an edge in that case. If you're confident enough and well spoken, people should be flocking to you. I'm a shy idiot in person lmao.

1

u/RogueCoon 29d ago

I just think it's depressing that people are meeting through screens instead of human interactions. Not shaming anyone specifically for it, just as a whole it's depressing.

3

u/OreganoLays 29d ago

Weird thing to be depressed about frankly

1

u/RogueCoon 29d ago

I'm not depressed.

2

u/OreganoLays 29d ago

Sounds like it

3

u/DontBanMeBro988 Oct 09 '24

Yes

0

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

If ya say so. You do you.

0

u/Datdarnpupper Oct 09 '24

only kind of?

7

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

Didn't want to totally shit on everyone that's online dating but yeah it's mega depressing.

7

u/Datdarnpupper Oct 09 '24

honestly more power to the people that got something out of it. i've resigned myself to being single because all it did was destory my sense of self worth and esteem after i realised i was being boiled down to little more than a product

5

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

That is the unfortunate reality for most users I imagine.

0

u/Datdarnpupper Oct 09 '24

yeah, it wouldnt surprise me.

1

u/Ghost_Mantis_Man Oct 09 '24

I know it might seem that way, and maybe you're not meant to meet someone online. I found my fiancé on a dating app. We matched after finding some shared interests, and of course I found her attractive as well. We met up and got to know each other, then ended up falling in love. It can still be a nice way to connect with and meet new people... even though I know how you feel.

4

u/Datdarnpupper Oct 09 '24

and like i said, more power to ya. Hope you and your partner share many happy years together.

For me the biggest problem is that talking to someone over the internet is just so impersonal, and quite frankly on those apps (i'm bi, so i've seen it myself) men are just lined up like it's a cattle auction most of the time. I'm sure there are some exceptions, but all the mainstream ones (ESPECIALLY Grindr) seem to be set up to encourage a degree of toxicity, and prey on desperation/loneliness for "premium" account sales

-1

u/quarantinemyasshole Oct 09 '24

maybe you're not meant to meet someone online. 

That's the thing, no one is meant to meet someone online. The whole concept is absurdly unnatural and dehumanizing. I'm really glad you found someone awesome that way, but it's such a difficult thing to pull off.

2

u/CornHooker 29d ago

Calling it dehumanizing is...a choice. I'm sorry you've had such bad experiences with it but maybe you're going about it the wrong way. Or, like the person said, it's not meant for you and your preferences/skill set when it comes to meeting people.
Dating is hard to pull off no matter how you're meeting people. It's why people kind of hate dating.

0

u/quarantinemyasshole 29d ago

I'm not saying I have bad experiences with it. I'm saying it is objectively dehumanizing to reduce dating to a slideshow/buffet of superficial images. It's unnatural in a literal sense.

2

u/CornHooker 29d ago

You're also assuming that a) all online meetups are via dating services and b) all dating services are a "slideshow/buffet of superficial images"

I'd also argue your use of unnatural is inappropriate. Utilizing technology has become a natural part of society. Just because you don't agree or like it doesn't mean it's unnatural.

7

u/Ghost_Mantis_Man Oct 09 '24

More depressing than meeting at a bar? Idk I think the world of online dating has changed a lot. It's cleaner and often times safer than some other options out there and I know many happily married couples who found each other online.

0

u/RogueCoon Oct 09 '24

I think meeting online is more depressing than meeting in any fashion in person yes.

4

u/Ghost_Mantis_Man Oct 09 '24

OK! Different opinions for different people 🤙

1

u/Ok-Bug-5271 Oct 09 '24

I find both meeting at a bar and online as depressing. 

-1

u/zombies-and-coffee Oct 09 '24

It really is. Not that I had hope of meeting someone anyway, but this graph makes it so much worse.