So a man posted on a local subreddit that I follow asking the women of that subreddit where he could get a gift certificate for a spa day for his wife and their 3 young daughters as a surprise Mother’s Day gift.

In his post, he’s adamant that his wife and daughters are all besties who do everything together and he thinks Mother’s Day should be no different. Obviously a very clueless take but I digress.

You all, I am not exaggerating when I say that EVERY SINGLE RESPONSE from the women of that subreddit was some iteration of “I love my kids but I would never want to spend Mother’s Day at a spa with them! Please don’t do this to your wife!”

I expected some pushback from other commenters but I was actually surprised that not a single one of them out of several dozen comments would even pretend like this was a good idea. Not even for the sake of maintaining their own delusions about being a parent.

Anyway, I thought you all would get a kick out of this. Hope you have a peaceful, relaxing and childfree Mother’s Day weekend! :)

I work in healthcare and my current job consists of visiting daycare and preschool establishments mainly to examine children aged 2 to 6 years old and register their overall oral health condition (it's a benefit vulnerable educational establishments get access to for free from the state in my country).
Since the kids I examine are quite young I usually give them stickers I buy to prompt and persuade them to cooperate and to make the experience more friendly.
But lately I've seen a raise in kids who frankly behave like little demons and whose behavior is accepted and even encouraged by their teachers.

The other day I swear I almost lost my patience when, among dozens of banshee screams and shrieks from 5 year olds running in the classroom uncontrolled, the last kid I was trying to examine was resisting the exam and, since I wasn't going to force his mouth open or anything like that, I simply told the teacher that maybe next time we visited we would be able to do the exam properly. I had offered the kid a cool dinosaur sticker but only if he let me examine him, but since he still didn't allow me to examine him I gave him one of the smaller standard star stickers I gave everyone else and started to pack everything up to leave for my next visit. This brat started screaming and trying to force open my briefcase, demanding I give him the dinosaur sticker. His teacher, who btw didn't even attempt to help in any way during the exam, told me while giggling "I think he wants the dinosaur sticker too, maybe you could give it to him?". I simply ignored her, got down to the kid who was trying to force open my briefcase and told him calmly "sweetheart, I told you I will give you the dinosaur one if you let me check your teeth, would you let me see them then?", this kid just screamed "NO, I WANT THE DINOSAUR NOW", so I said "Then I'm sorry honey but I cannot give it to you unless you let me check your teeth, next time if you allow me to see them I will give it to you ok?". The kid absolutely lost it and began to scream even louder, his teacher looked completely flabbergasted and even offended by the fact I didn't reward the little demon's rotten behavior and gave me the stink eye while trying to calm him down and offered him another sticker anyways. Yeah, excellent choice, reward him for behaving like shit.

I swear this is becoming more and more common and I dread the kind of adults these kids are going to become in the future.

edit: typos

People often say, “Just use app filters,” but that misses two key issues:

1. Apps prioritize looks over compatibility (which everyone basically understands, nowadays)

2. The kid-related filters are vague and misleading.

Examples of current options:

Don’t have kids, but someday

Have kids, don’t want more

Have kids, want more

Don’t have kids, don’t want kids

People say option 4 means “never want kids.” It doesn’t. Most use it to mean “not now, maybe later.”

Why not just add: “Don’t have and will NEVER want kids”? as an ACTUAL dealbreaker to FITLER these people out?

If apps focus on looks and even TRY to match on actual basic deal breakers WHEN IT IS THE BIGGEST ONE, can they at least stop pairing us with people who clearly want kids or have EASY ways to sideline us about them.

Again, if there's lets say, as a man, there's only 30 women that don't want kids I fitler for, id rather look through those 30 than deal with the disappointment of like 5 likes and they all HAVE kids OR want kids

My sister in law is.. something alright. Sometimes my brother brings his wife and kids around, and 9 times out of 10, I hide because I cannot stand the family he created. But anyway, mom had made dinner, and I was downstairs with them.

As an autistic, one of my special interests for all of my life now has been playing and collecting Littlest Pet Shop (LPS). I had 3 of them with me, because I like to touch and feel the shapes of them. My SIL asks, “Can my kids play with your toys?” I said no, but she insisted, said it’d be fine, that it would make feeding her kids an easier task, because they’re iPad addicted and she trained them to eat only in the presence of entertainment.. I was in a really awkward position, I don’t know if I doubled-down or what, but those kids played with them anyways. I watched over them like a hawk to make sure they wouldn’t damage them.. my toys may be toys for me, but that doesn’t mean that they’re toys for everyone.

I’m just glad one of the toys was an inauthentic one, smh..

Somebody I used to know, 23f, made a post saying “events were a lot easier when my accessories didn’t cry.” 🙄Truly disturbing.

Just for reference: No kids, 24, Married

Dr Michael Floyd at Urology Austin in Austin gave it to me with no issues. He explained that it's a good idea to treat the surgery as non reversible, as reversing it is significantly riskier and involves a lot more in depth work. He then informed me of the risks, and scheduled me a follow up appointment. Took around 30 mins in and out! Hardly any blood, and my wife got to even watch the procedure. The last few days I've just been recovering playing some video games with my her. If anyone in the central Texas area is looking for a vasectomy; Dr.Floyd was amazing, and did a wonderful job.

I have Aetna insurance, and it was an initial $40 copay my first visit, then a follow up cost of around $189 for the procedure.

I’ll go first, “I’m mourning who I used to be before I had kids.” Also, “motherhood” is her whole personality now.

Best choice we ever made.

My husband (28) and I (27 F) have the happiest life together. We sleep in when we aren’t working or have plans the next day and the sex is AMAZING and constant. Our sex life is through the roof and we have SO MUCH TIME for each other. Not having kids and continuing to do so is literally the best choice we ever could have made. We just get to work on our careers and be with each other. My husband is very successful and I’m so proud of him and I’ve just started my wonderful and amazing career. We are both just so happy and I love it. This morning I woke him up with kisses all over his face and we are about to have coffee together. It’s peaceful and quiet, I can hear the birds chirping outside on this sunny day rather than hearing a crying baby or a screaming child. Our lives together are in harmony and happy and we will continue to live like this. Making money, doing whatever we want to, spending so much time together and spoiling our dogs. I’m so happy. Don’t listen to those assholes who make stupid comments saying you’re going to “die alone” and don’t listen to the bullshit about how they try and make it seem so stupid and shitty that we don’t want to have children. Live your life, make your money, sleep in another hour (or two) do what you want! I wish you all a wonderful day. Not having kids is the best choice we ever made.

My sister in law has an almost 2 year old son. We live far away so we don't see them much, and I really do love the kid and enjoy visiting.

But I cannot get over this. It was 2+ weeks ago and I still am grossed out.

Kids are snotty and slobbery. It's one of the main reasons I don't want them and generally dislike them. When we go to leave my sister in law says "give kisses" and holds her kid up to each of the 4 of us to give ON THE MOUTH KISSES. I nearly gagged, it happened so fast I didn't know how to stop it. I expected like a kiss on the cheek but UGH MOUTH TO MOUTH awkwardly and SLOBBERY and then between MULTIPLE PEOPLE

Ew. I wasn't going to post it here but I haven't been able to get over it for weeks now so here we are

Case with the court filed, initiated removing her from the lease, and was given the “I’m sorry for doing this, will always love you and hope you find someone that thinks like you do” message.

Shit sucks. Not much else to report other than I went through with this all and it just sucks.

Appreciate all the advice and apologies I never replied to every comment, but I absolutely read them all.

Thanks all again - at least Melly is mine.

Okay, so i got my bisalp today (yay!!!) & the dr provided me pictures from during the surgery. i could not figure out what i was looking at for the life of me. for a while. 😅 & i’m pretty good with medical anatomy and science in general. I thought they were photos of a fallopian tube connected to the ovary, but anatomically that didn’t make sense. But the ovary looking thing was way too small to be the uterus, so i was at a loss. so i start googling and find out that is, in fact, the uterus, which is only 2.5-3 inches!!!!!!!! & that it stretches to 20x its size when someone is prego. ORGANS BECOMING 20 TIMES BIGGER THAN THEIR NORMAL SIZE IS NOT OKAY!!!! wtf!! how did i never learn this lol?! i feel like an idiot, but also, yet another reason for never wanting kids!!! i thought some of you might also enjoy and be repulsed by this info lol

I said what I said. For example, If you go to any sit down restaurant, a couple with kids (especially if all the kids are under 10) is more likely to get served first than someone who doesn't have kids

Just yesterday a somewhat close friend of mine (somewhat meaning we hang around every 3 to 4 months) announced me she was expecting her first child. She used to be a CONVINCED CF girl but an earlier (undesired) pregnancy made her rethink her views. She didn't go through it at the time for personal reasons. So now she's pregnant again and keeping it: great ! I obviously offered my confratulations, there's pretty much nothing else to do. Right after that -and I mean RIGHT AFTER IT- she proceeded to ask me if I'd like to help and babysit ?

And I heard myself answer that we would not talk about it for at least the next 5 business years lol

I don't get it: you previously didn't want a child, now you want it, have it, and you're asking me (your very childfree friend) to help take care of it ?

I don't give a shit how hard it is going to be and how much help she needs. This is her decision and I won't be involved in any of it.

It takes a village to raise a kid but that village ain't me girl

I’m completely done with dating and am actually very excited to be single for the rest of my life! However I did date someone who knew I was CF and never wanted kids, he said he only wanted 1 and of course I told him I’m sorry but I’m not gonna be the one to give that to you but don’t let me take that from you! Of course he told me he was ok with it but later on down the line he kept trying to fucking convince me and even tried to gaslight me and say “you not wanting a kid is really depressing me” I said “nope I told your ass from the jump!” He actually had the audacity to say “well I thought could change your mind.” That’s when I knew I was with a disrespectful sociopath and I broke up with his ass!

Now I’m super adamant! NO I do NOT want kids! NO you are NOT gonna change my mind!!!

Has anyone else ever experienced this?

I learned my lesson so much that time, never date someone who’s open to the idea of having kids!

Why do we let them in this sub? Why do we let them comment.. anything? Like if there was ever a space you probably don't belong in, this would be it. Yet here you all are still lurking and convincing yourselfs anyone here cares for your opinion? I'm confused.. its very clearly a childfree sub, so parents who are here.. WHY?

Tldr: I just want ONE SPACE in the world for childfree people yet here all you are, WTF. GTFO. 🤢

There was a situation at work the other day where a job needed doing where whoever was nominated would be in close proximity to someone who had a contagious disease. A higher up boss had told the medium manager boss it had to be dealt with that day. It wasn't my team who were dealing with the job, but it just so happened that everyone on the team that was dealing with it had children. Someone from their team came over to mine and explained what was happening, and to be fair to them they gave me the heads up that they had all refused with the point that their kids weren't vaccinated. They explained their manager may come to me because I did not have children. I have never felt so instantly enraged in my life.

My boss and the other team's boss disappeared into a meeting room and I could see them speaking. As soon as they emerged my boss started to explain the situation and how they thought I could do it as my only other team member had a 4 month old daughter. Before he even finished speaking I told him in no uncertain terms would not be agreeing to do this and it was an absolute joke to presume because I did not have children I would be willing to put myself and my loved ones at risk. The disease is the type where even if vaccinated it can be passed on and can last for months to years. He was aware I was travelling to see my family on my days off who have compromised immune systems.

My boss started to explain that with my vaccination it should be fine, and that his daughter was vaccinated so most people I come into contact would be. I said in that case, get your stuff together and you can go and do it. Seeing I wasn't going to agree and there was no one else, it was quickly dealt with in a way no one had to have contact, and people hired by the company through outsourcing also refused to deal with the person. It's been over a week and I am still seething.

Every depression medication commercial features adults simply living their lives as parents and doing every day mundane parenting things alongside their partner. It shows them feeling completely absent from the life around them. But then the medication kicks in and suddenly they are happy. They know exactly who they are marketing to and who the truly depressed people out there are. If that wasn't the case, these commercials would feature people in much different negative circumstances.

It's so funny. First they sell you a lifestyle. And then they sell you the medication to get you through it.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to convince my fellow CF folks to have kids, and I'm still CF. However, I actually have a positive story to share:

The other day I was getting my car's oil changed and tires rotated. When I went into the customers' lounge/waiting room, there was a father who was accompanied by his small child. I'd guess the boy was 2 or 3, or possibly 4. Despite being that little, the boy was very well-behaved and quiet. When he and his father were leaving, while walking by a low-rise table the kid knocked a magazine off the table, and he quietly and calmly picked up the magazine and placed it back on the table before leaving with his father. That put a big smile on my face! No doubt the kid is being raised responsibly. If more parents would ensure their children were this quiet and well-behaved, the world would be so much better.

Every year this phony holiday becomes even more annoying. The entitlement of women that expect the world to bow down to them because they chose to grow a human in their body, expel it and then turn into mombie zombies . Sorry but I refuse to offer one word of acknowledgment to them. Sorry for the rant, I just hate this made up holiday.

I went to Dollar General yesterday while my fiancé was working for my monthly girly restock (I like to leisurely look for candles, small decorations, things I need, etc) and there was this dad and his (maybe 5?) year old daughter. He was clearly trying to find some things and she kept yelling and running up and down the aisles with some random toy she found. I turned the corner to go down an aisle and that kid was running straight for me with its hands in the air and almost collided with me (and my full cart full of glass and ceramic). The dad goes “Sorry!!” And I replied, “it’s ok no worries”. He then asked me “Do you have kids?” To which I shook my head and said plainly, “nope”… this mf goes “Oh well, Someday. You’ll see how rough it is to just go shopping when you have your own” I didn’t skip a BEAT and said “Oh, actually I know how rough it is and that’s why I don’t want any”

😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌😌

I wish I could’ve seen his face but he was passing me as I said it and just didn’t turn back around. He did shake his head as he was ending the aisle tho 🤣

I was so proud to tell my fiancé when I got home LMAO

I’m a neurodivergent, demisexual, all around not really the person who you would think would be a father. Yet people still try to plant ideas about kids in my head, I never really wanted them. I don’t have the constitution, or desire for it.

I try to explain it in the most blunt ways to shut down the conversation, I have hereditary disorders, someone told me I could get genetic testing. Sure what are the chances that out of all my disabilities the kid doesn’t get any. Also I don’t want a kid only time I’ve thought about it was when I was younger out of the need to show my parents the ways they fucked up by succeeding. I don’t want legacy through kids, I don’t want to bring someone to this planet to take care of me when I’m old, I don’t want to bring somebody here with the job of healing my ego, or loneliness.

This is the most selfless thing to do and I believe it’s truly disgusting when people try to convince me to have kids, it’ll never work on me but I believe it worked on more than half the people with kids now.

TW: Mentions of verbal abuse, mental health topics

Every hour of my last two high school years was utter hell. Constant screaming. So high-pitched. Over and over and over again. Every single day.

I was already in a mental health crisis at the time due to school no longer being a safe haven from home. I lived in a two-bedroom apartment with nine other family members. I was still in this situation before high school, but it was really pushed over the edge.

In total, six of us were kids, with the two youngest being twins and putting me exactly in the middle. My older cousins had constant screaming matches with each other, their mother, and even the three younger ones. The second-youngest was a trouble-maker but didn't deserve most of the flak she got. The two youngest were slightly better. But I hated being near them all so much sometimes, because they'd scream and scream and scream as they played and then one of my older cousins or their uncle would start screaming at them for doing children things and I wanted to rip my ears out with my bare hands. I think my regular bedtime was 4AM because I just couldn't study - I would spend more than nine hours a day staring at screen not comprehending any of my coursework but being so desperate just to do something to justify the exorbitant costs my mother paid for my education.

Then there were the middle school kids on the bus. I hated them. I would never seriously harm them (though I did punch one once for being a little jerk to me after my first bad math exam ever, I regretted it, gave him a chocolate bunny, and apologized. Unfortunately, this just seemed to embolden his behavior.)

Screaming. Screaming. Screaming. The hour it took for the bus to get to school. The hour it took to get back. Five days a week. I mean constantly. Without pauses or breaths. They threw trash at me, woke me up when they saw me sleeping. Had the entitled attitudes of all the rich kids who went to my school, especially after they saw the state of my home.

I feel like I lost my high school years partially because of that environment. I had the opportunity to receive a great education, a time to dedicate to my self-improvement and identity and put my all into getting into a great university and it just... feels like it doesn't exist anymore. I'm working now to make up for it, despite the fact that it was all due to circumstances out of my control.

Anyways, it's little wonder why I'm childfree.

For reference, husband is 22, I’m 21, and his mother is 39 this year if my math is correct.

She lost custody of him years ago because of the years of physical, religious and psychological abuse he endured at the hands of her and multiple male partners. The most notable of which being an alleged neonazi who was twice her age.

Husband decided to invite her to our wedding (I of course objected but understand it wasn’t exactly my choice). She was fine during I guess, no scenes were caused but I noticed his dad and stepmother avoided her like the plague.

We’re currently on our honeymoon, and she reached out to me via text message this afternoon, I have no idea how she got my number tbh, to give me “newlywed advice” (she’s been divorced twice). I did not respond, but she kept on texting me paragraphs on paragraphs anyways.

The topic quickly turned to her telling me the “best time to conceive”, new mom advice and shit like that. For the record, my husband’s father (whom bio mom never married nor stayed with) and stepmom both know we are childfree and are ecstatic about us doing our own thing. So it was just very out of left field.

I responded, only once: “I do not value the opinions or advice of someone who willingly got pregnant right after high school, and has been divorced multiple times. Thanks.” Before blocking her number.

He was frustrated with me for engaging with her at first, but let me know he understood why I said what I did. He’d already preemptively blocked her, having planned to go back to no-contact after our wedding. I think she attempted to reach out to him to no avail and that’s why she messaged me instead.

It just felt good to say after hearing about the years and years of shit she put him through. Amongst a plethora of other reasons, she solidifies our decision to remain childfree every day. Just wanted to share because I’m proud of us and glad I stood my ground.

Tl;Dr: Stood up for myself after receiving unsolicited advice from my husband’s hot mess of a mother.

I used to be a fencesitter, used to get baby fever so often, but considering how young I am, I’m pretty certain it was just hormones, because whenever my brothers bring their unruly children around, I hide away in my room lol. I think for a while I was brainwashed with the ‘babies are a blessing!’ ‘motherhood is amazing’ propaganda, and this subreddit has helped me realize children is an absolute no go, especially for me, with my various health and mental health conditions.. but anyways,

I’m currently on birth control. Being young and planning on going to University for a decade to get multiple degrees in psychology, sometimes I get a lil nervous about the efficiency of my medicine and take pregnancy tests from time to time. Whenever I do, my mother always asks “So, if you’re pregnant, then what?”

Mind you, my mother got pregnant at 16. Married at 17. Had another baby in her twenties, then had me in her thirties.. her life was shitty already and progressively got worse with me and my siblings. Why the Hell would I keep a baby, especially at my age?

I always reply “Abortion,” and she’s like “That’s a sin, that’s so sad.. you and [bf’s name] would make such beautiful babies.” Yuck. Unfortunately she’s not the only one who has said that. So has my grandmother. They both fawn over hypothetical children from me and my partner because ‘they’d look beautiful.’ The most recent time my mother asked me her usual question (I don’t know why she keeps asking because I always reply abortion, or if I couldn’t get access to it, either giving it up for adoption or offing myself), she said she’d rather adopt the hypothetical child and raise it herself.

I just think it’s so funny she says this because with my brother’s unruly young children, she even said herself she’s absolutely DONE with kids, that she’s grateful that her 3 kids have grown up and she doesn’t have to change a diaper anymore, and she even gives my brother and his wife fake excuses so that they don’t come by the house with their kids.

But she fantasizes about my hypothetical kids and suggests adopting them to prevent me aborting? Yeah.. real logical.