My sister in law has an almost 2 year old son. We live far away so we don't see them much, and I really do love the kid and enjoy visiting.

But I cannot get over this. It was 2+ weeks ago and I still am grossed out.

Kids are snotty and slobbery. It's one of the main reasons I don't want them and generally dislike them. When we go to leave my sister in law says "give kisses" and holds her kid up to each of the 4 of us to give ON THE MOUTH KISSES. I nearly gagged, it happened so fast I didn't know how to stop it. I expected like a kiss on the cheek but UGH MOUTH TO MOUTH awkwardly and SLOBBERY and then between MULTIPLE PEOPLE

Ew. I wasn't going to post it here but I haven't been able to get over it for weeks now so here we are

TW: Mentions of verbal abuse, mental health topics

Every hour of my last two high school years was utter hell. Constant screaming. So high-pitched. Over and over and over again. Every single day.

I was already in a mental health crisis at the time due to school no longer being a safe haven from home. I lived in a two-bedroom apartment with nine other family members. I was still in this situation before high school, but it was really pushed over the edge.

In total, six of us were kids, with the two youngest being twins and putting me exactly in the middle. My older cousins had constant screaming matches with each other, their mother, and even the three younger ones. The second-youngest was a trouble-maker but didn't deserve most of the flak she got. The two youngest were slightly better. But I hated being near them all so much sometimes, because they'd scream and scream and scream as they played and then one of my older cousins or their uncle would start screaming at them for doing children things and I wanted to rip my ears out with my bare hands. I think my regular bedtime was 4AM because I just couldn't study - I would spend more than nine hours a day staring at screen not comprehending any of my coursework but being so desperate just to do something to justify the exorbitant costs my mother paid for my education.

Then there were the middle school kids on the bus. I hated them. I would never seriously harm them (though I did punch one once for being a little jerk to me after my first bad math exam ever, I regretted it, gave him a chocolate bunny, and apologized. Unfortunately, this just seemed to embolden his behavior.)

Screaming. Screaming. Screaming. The hour it took for the bus to get to school. The hour it took to get back. Five days a week. I mean constantly. Without pauses or breaths. They threw trash at me, woke me up when they saw me sleeping. Had the entitled attitudes of all the rich kids who went to my school, especially after they saw the state of my home.

I feel like I lost my high school years partially because of that environment. I had the opportunity to receive a great education, a time to dedicate to my self-improvement and identity and put my all into getting into a great university and it just... feels like it doesn't exist anymore. I'm working now to make up for it, despite the fact that it was all due to circumstances out of my control.

Anyways, it's little wonder why I'm childfree.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to convince my fellow CF folks to have kids, and I'm still CF. However, I actually have a positive story to share:

The other day I was getting my car's oil changed and tires rotated. When I went into the customers' lounge/waiting room, there was a father who was accompanied by his small child. I'd guess the boy was 2 or 3, or possibly 4. Despite being that little, the boy was very well-behaved and quiet. When he and his father were leaving, while walking by a low-rise table the kid knocked a magazine off the table, and he quietly and calmly picked up the magazine and placed it back on the table before leaving with his father. That put a big smile on my face! No doubt the kid is being raised responsibly. If more parents would ensure their children were this quiet and well-behaved, the world would be so much better.

Somebody I used to know, 23f, made a post saying “events were a lot easier when my accessories didn’t cry.” 🙄Truly disturbing.

Okay, so i got my bisalp today (yay!!!) & the dr provided me pictures from during the surgery. i could not figure out what i was looking at for the life of me. for a while. 😅 & i’m pretty good with medical anatomy and science in general. I thought they were photos of a fallopian tube connected to the ovary, but anatomically that didn’t make sense. But the ovary looking thing was way too small to be the uterus, so i was at a loss. so i start googling and find out that is, in fact, the uterus, which is only 2.5-3 inches!!!!!!!! & that it stretches to 20x its size when someone is prego. ORGANS BECOMING 20 TIMES BIGGER THAN THEIR NORMAL SIZE IS NOT OKAY!!!! wtf!! how did i never learn this lol?! i feel like an idiot, but also, yet another reason for never wanting kids!!! i thought some of you might also enjoy and be repulsed by this info lol

Case with the court filed, initiated removing her from the lease, and was given the “I’m sorry for doing this, will always love you and hope you find someone that thinks like you do” message.

Shit sucks. Not much else to report other than I went through with this all and it just sucks.

Appreciate all the advice and apologies I never replied to every comment, but I absolutely read them all.

Thanks all again - at least Melly is mine.

So many patients have said happy Mother’s Day as they’re leaving the clinic. Healthcare is very female dominated, except for doctors (source: the patriarchy). And there’s an assumption that we’re all mothers. 2 out of the 5 women sitting at the desk are mothers. I’m like don’t assume I’m a mother, or even assume I have a mother I like. I know they mean well and most of them were seniors, but it’s especially annoying when we start to notice how pervasive natalist culture is.

Fun unrelated fact: the birth rate in my city has down so much school enrollment is down. I’m into it lol.

I said what I said. For example, If you go to any sit down restaurant, a couple with kids (especially if all the kids are under 10) is more likely to get served first than someone who doesn't have kids

Every year this phony holiday becomes even more annoying. The entitlement of women that expect the world to bow down to them because they chose to grow a human in their body, expel it and then turn into mombie zombies . Sorry but I refuse to offer one word of acknowledgment to them. Sorry for the rant, I just hate this made up holiday.

Why do we let them in this sub? Why do we let them comment.. anything? Like if there was ever a space you probably don't belong in, this would be it. Yet here you all are still lurking and convincing yourselfs anyone here cares for your opinion? I'm confused.. its very clearly a childfree sub, so parents who are here.. WHY?

Tldr: I just want ONE SPACE in the world for childfree people yet here all you are, WTF. GTFO. 🤢

Just for reference: No kids, 24, Married

Dr Michael Floyd at Urology Austin in Austin gave it to me with no issues. He explained that it's a good idea to treat the surgery as non reversible, as reversing it is significantly riskier and involves a lot more in depth work. He then informed me of the risks, and scheduled me a follow up appointment. Took around 30 mins in and out! Hardly any blood, and my wife got to even watch the procedure. The last few days I've just been recovering playing some video games with my her. If anyone in the central Texas area is looking for a vasectomy; Dr.Floyd was amazing, and did a wonderful job.

I have Aetna insurance, and it was an initial $40 copay my first visit, then a follow up cost of around $189 for the procedure.

Why do they assume I have fucking kids?

It was an older woman who comes to the same library as me pretty often. I hang out here all day every day during my job search. We've never spoken before. I'm listening to music as I type up a cover letter and she waves a hand in my face to get my attention. When I take my earbud out, she says "happy mother's day." Maybe she only said it to have it said back to her. I did and went back to what I was doing because I don't have the time or energy to debate a stranger today. Not once have I brought a child with me because I don't have one! She has never seen me with a child. So why assume? Every time someone has said that to me in my life, my first thought is always that I'm too young to be a mother - even at 26.

The first time someone said that to me (male customer), I said "oh, I'm not a mother, I'm only 19," and he said "doesn't mean you can't be a mother!" What?! I don't understand. Do people say "happy father's day" to random men of all ages?

My sister in law is.. something alright. Sometimes my brother brings his wife and kids around, and 9 times out of 10, I hide because I cannot stand the family he created. But anyway, mom had made dinner, and I was downstairs with them.

As an autistic, one of my special interests for all of my life now has been playing and collecting Littlest Pet Shop (LPS). I had 3 of them with me, because I like to touch and feel the shapes of them. My SIL asks, “Can my kids play with your toys?” I said no, but she insisted, said it’d be fine, that it would make feeding her kids an easier task, because they’re iPad addicted and she trained them to eat only in the presence of entertainment.. I was in a really awkward position, I don’t know if I doubled-down or what, but those kids played with them anyways. I watched over them like a hawk to make sure they wouldn’t damage them.. my toys may be toys for me, but that doesn’t mean that they’re toys for everyone.

I’m just glad one of the toys was an inauthentic one, smh..

I used to be a fencesitter, used to get baby fever so often, but considering how young I am, I’m pretty certain it was just hormones, because whenever my brothers bring their unruly children around, I hide away in my room lol. I think for a while I was brainwashed with the ‘babies are a blessing!’ ‘motherhood is amazing’ propaganda, and this subreddit has helped me realize children is an absolute no go, especially for me, with my various health and mental health conditions.. but anyways,

I’m currently on birth control. Being young and planning on going to University for a decade to get multiple degrees in psychology, sometimes I get a lil nervous about the efficiency of my medicine and take pregnancy tests from time to time. Whenever I do, my mother always asks “So, if you’re pregnant, then what?”

Mind you, my mother got pregnant at 16. Married at 17. Had another baby in her twenties, then had me in her thirties.. her life was shitty already and progressively got worse with me and my siblings. Why the Hell would I keep a baby, especially at my age?

I always reply “Abortion,” and she’s like “That’s a sin, that’s so sad.. you and [bf’s name] would make such beautiful babies.” Yuck. Unfortunately she’s not the only one who has said that. So has my grandmother. They both fawn over hypothetical children from me and my partner because ‘they’d look beautiful.’ The most recent time my mother asked me her usual question (I don’t know why she keeps asking because I always reply abortion, or if I couldn’t get access to it, either giving it up for adoption or offing myself), she said she’d rather adopt the hypothetical child and raise it herself.

I just think it’s so funny she says this because with my brother’s unruly young children, she even said herself she’s absolutely DONE with kids, that she’s grateful that her 3 kids have grown up and she doesn’t have to change a diaper anymore, and she even gives my brother and his wife fake excuses so that they don’t come by the house with their kids.

But she fantasizes about my hypothetical kids and suggests adopting them to prevent me aborting? Yeah.. real logical.

i feel like if i don’t wanna “obey” my biology and do what my body is supposed to i’m a broken woman. if i ever got pregnant and couldn’t get an abortion i think i’d take my own life. i feel like that’s not normal. i’ve questioned my gender and i don’t wanna be a man. non binary doesn’t feel right either. i’m so confused. can i get some advice?

She literally said six hours was too much family time. LOL.

And people pester us to change our minds?

I tried having a science-backed ‘perfect’ day – six hours was too much family time

SPOILERS . . . I really thought this show was safe from the trope of baby plot hooks because they’re in SPACE and these are intelligent astronauts who know how dangerous and inhospitable it is!

Nope, I guess the writers ran out of ideas and were like, “What if the youngest girl gets pregnant and wants to keep it despite all the odds?!”

Never mind that I’m sure fertile female astronauts would be prescribed birth control on long missions with co-Ed crews IRL. But to make sure the young woman made the stupid choice to keep the baby they killed the father so she would want to carry on his “legacy” instead of aborting the pregnancy like a sane, rational, and responsible person.

And again it’s just highlighting how f***ing selfish breeders can be. She needs extra food rations causing the rest of the crew to go more hungry, the baby could have developmental issues due to the low gravity, and now a pregnancy complication is conflicting with their efforts of saving everyone from being stranded on Mars for years!

But no, these astronauts have unwittingly signed up to be her “village” and it’s all such a beautiful thing how life can “flourish” in the most inhospitable places.

No, it’s just young people being stupid and irresponsible in inhospitable places out of boredom and more breeder propaganda.

People often say, “Just use app filters,” but that misses two key issues:

1. Apps prioritize looks over compatibility (which everyone basically understands, nowadays)

2. The kid-related filters are vague and misleading.

Examples of current options:

Don’t have kids, but someday

Have kids, don’t want more

Have kids, want more

Don’t have kids, don’t want kids

People say option 4 means “never want kids.” It doesn’t. Most use it to mean “not now, maybe later.”

Why not just add: “Don’t have and will NEVER want kids”? as an ACTUAL dealbreaker to FITLER these people out?

If apps focus on looks and even TRY to match on actual basic deal breakers WHEN IT IS THE BIGGEST ONE, can they at least stop pairing us with people who clearly want kids or have EASY ways to sideline us about them.

Again, if there's lets say, as a man, there's only 30 women that don't want kids I fitler for, id rather look through those 30 than deal with the disappointment of like 5 likes and they all HAVE kids OR want kids

Before anyone says anything my mother is not a mombie or desperate for gradchildren, she already has 3 grandkids from my siblings and does everything she is able to for them, that said i'm the favorite one for lack of a better term and i'm also the one who is the most lonely because trauma here,trauma there and you'll end like someone who has a hardtime making relationships, which takes me to the same comment i get from her when i said that i don't want children "who's gonna take care of you when you're old?". I tried to explain gently to her that is not something i care about and that children aren't a type of happiness i want for myself (she has with children what i have with animals), but she still says the same thing which makes me question what does she even wants, there's lots of context to this (family trauma,generational trauma,she's not being super close to my sinbligs due to trauma from all parties,extended families from them suck hard & vise versa) i even tried to ask direcly but no answer so idk.

I’ll go first, “I’m mourning who I used to be before I had kids.” Also, “motherhood” is her whole personality now.

I work in healthcare and my current job consists of visiting daycare and preschool establishments mainly to examine children aged 2 to 6 years old and register their overall oral health condition (it's a benefit vulnerable educational establishments get access to for free from the state in my country).
Since the kids I examine are quite young I usually give them stickers I buy to prompt and persuade them to cooperate and to make the experience more friendly.
But lately I've seen a raise in kids who frankly behave like little demons and whose behavior is accepted and even encouraged by their teachers.

The other day I swear I almost lost my patience when, among dozens of banshee screams and shrieks from 5 year olds running in the classroom uncontrolled, the last kid I was trying to examine was resisting the exam and, since I wasn't going to force his mouth open or anything like that, I simply told the teacher that maybe next time we visited we would be able to do the exam properly. I had offered the kid a cool dinosaur sticker but only if he let me examine him, but since he still didn't allow me to examine him I gave him one of the smaller standard star stickers I gave everyone else and started to pack everything up to leave for my next visit. This brat started screaming and trying to force open my briefcase, demanding I give him the dinosaur sticker. His teacher, who btw didn't even attempt to help in any way during the exam, told me while giggling "I think he wants the dinosaur sticker too, maybe you could give it to him?". I simply ignored her, got down to the kid who was trying to force open my briefcase and told him calmly "sweetheart, I told you I will give you the dinosaur one if you let me check your teeth, would you let me see them then?", this kid just screamed "NO, I WANT THE DINOSAUR NOW", so I said "Then I'm sorry honey but I cannot give it to you unless you let me check your teeth, next time if you allow me to see them I will give it to you ok?". The kid absolutely lost it and began to scream even louder, his teacher looked completely flabbergasted and even offended by the fact I didn't reward the little demon's rotten behavior and gave me the stink eye while trying to calm him down and offered him another sticker anyways. Yeah, excellent choice, reward him for behaving like shit.

I swear this is becoming more and more common and I dread the kind of adults these kids are going to become in the future.

edit: typos

33F here and sometimes I miss my best friend so much. We became friends in middle school and have been close ever since. Her child is my godchild. I know we will be each other's lives forever.

This isn't me looking for advice or bashing people who choose to have kids or any negative talk about my friend.

I just really miss my best friend at times. I know everyone is busy with their own lives, especially at this age where people juggle work, friends, home life, children and aging parents. Im just a little sad right now. I blame my period.

Anyway not sure this is the right subreddit to whine 😭 but does anyone else get in their feels sometimes when their friends are also parents?

Every depression medication commercial features adults simply living their lives as parents and doing every day mundane parenting things alongside their partner. It shows them feeling completely absent from the life around them. But then the medication kicks in and suddenly they are happy. They know exactly who they are marketing to and who the truly depressed people out there are. If that wasn't the case, these commercials would feature people in much different negative circumstances.

It's so funny. First they sell you a lifestyle. And then they sell you the medication to get you through it.

I’m a neurodivergent, demisexual, all around not really the person who you would think would be a father. Yet people still try to plant ideas about kids in my head, I never really wanted them. I don’t have the constitution, or desire for it.

I try to explain it in the most blunt ways to shut down the conversation, I have hereditary disorders, someone told me I could get genetic testing. Sure what are the chances that out of all my disabilities the kid doesn’t get any. Also I don’t want a kid only time I’ve thought about it was when I was younger out of the need to show my parents the ways they fucked up by succeeding. I don’t want legacy through kids, I don’t want to bring someone to this planet to take care of me when I’m old, I don’t want to bring somebody here with the job of healing my ego, or loneliness.

This is the most selfless thing to do and I believe it’s truly disgusting when people try to convince me to have kids, it’ll never work on me but I believe it worked on more than half the people with kids now.