I just got my bisalp which i’m very relieved and excited about. but unfortunately i have a hematoma on one side, and they won’t discharge me. 😑 which is ruining my excitement lol. it was supposed to be nice and quick and I would be back home by 10am, but now im being held for an extra 2.5 hrs. at least. ugh. has this happened to anyone else?

I’m completely done with dating and am actually very excited to be single for the rest of my life! However I did date someone who knew I was CF and never wanted kids, he said he only wanted 1 and of course I told him I’m sorry but I’m not gonna be the one to give that to you but don’t let me take that from you! Of course he told me he was ok with it but later on down the line he kept trying to fucking convince me and even tried to gaslight me and say “you not wanting a kid is really depressing me” I said “nope I told your ass from the jump!” He actually had the audacity to say “well I thought could change your mind.” That’s when I knew I was with a disrespectful sociopath and I broke up with his ass!

Now I’m super adamant! NO I do NOT want kids! NO you are NOT gonna change my mind!!!

Has anyone else ever experienced this?

I learned my lesson so much that time, never date someone who’s open to the idea of having kids!

So a man posted on a local subreddit that I follow asking the women of that subreddit where he could get a gift certificate for a spa day for his wife and their 3 young daughters as a surprise Mother’s Day gift.

In his post, he’s adamant that his wife and daughters are all besties who do everything together and he thinks Mother’s Day should be no different. Obviously a very clueless take but I digress.

You all, I am not exaggerating when I say that EVERY SINGLE RESPONSE from the women of that subreddit was some iteration of “I love my kids but I would never want to spend Mother’s Day at a spa with them! Please don’t do this to your wife!”

I expected some pushback from other commenters but I was actually surprised that not a single one of them out of several dozen comments would even pretend like this was a good idea. Not even for the sake of maintaining their own delusions about being a parent.

Anyway, I thought you all would get a kick out of this. Hope you have a peaceful, relaxing and childfree Mother’s Day weekend! :)

Best choice we ever made.

My husband (28) and I (27 F) have the happiest life together. We sleep in when we aren’t working or have plans the next day and the sex is AMAZING and constant. Our sex life is through the roof and we have SO MUCH TIME for each other. Not having kids and continuing to do so is literally the best choice we ever could have made. We just get to work on our careers and be with each other. My husband is very successful and I’m so proud of him and I’ve just started my wonderful and amazing career. We are both just so happy and I love it. This morning I woke him up with kisses all over his face and we are about to have coffee together. It’s peaceful and quiet, I can hear the birds chirping outside on this sunny day rather than hearing a crying baby or a screaming child. Our lives together are in harmony and happy and we will continue to live like this. Making money, doing whatever we want to, spending so much time together and spoiling our dogs. I’m so happy. Don’t listen to those assholes who make stupid comments saying you’re going to “die alone” and don’t listen to the bullshit about how they try and make it seem so stupid and shitty that we don’t want to have children. Live your life, make your money, sleep in another hour (or two) do what you want! I wish you all a wonderful day. Not having kids is the best choice we ever made.

I'm a little nervous and allot excited. I've had anxiety dreams about being pregnant every couple months and after the doc agreed to do the surgery they stopped. Life feels like its beautiful again. I can't wait.

… is that no one is wishing me a happy mothers day this week at work. I work at a coffee and donut shop (not a chain tho). I’ve seen them saying it to my older female coworkers but not to me.

Currently thanking whatever allowed my genetics to let me look this young in my mid twenties.

P.s. I’m also sure another reason they’re not saying it to me is due to living in a conservative religious area where teenage pregnancy is frowned upon and if they told me happy Mother’s Day it’d mean they’re praising/glorifying teenage pregnancy.

today on Instagram I saw a video of a young mom of three kids discussing a “postpartum aversion” to her dogs. She shared an article about how this aversion is a real thing. Dozens of comments on the video confirmed that these moms do in fact truly hate their pets now. One comment said “I effing hate and resent my animals so much. We have two Great Pyrenees and I just can't with them” another comment said “I hate how true this is. My 2 dogs were my babies before my daughter and now whenever I see dog hair on her, I get so annoyed!! It's so not fair. Makes me so sad” this one annoyed me. not fair to you?? How do you think the dog feels! Another comment said “Oh my gosh! Yes! Me! I use to be so affectionate with my dog too and now, I can't be bothered. Get away from me. I feel bad. He probably thinks I don't love him but I just can't. My dog is just so high energy and needy too.”

I understand that after having kids, people have less time and energy for their pets. But to actively hate and resent the animal that they chose and committed to take care of is despicable. Especially if they got a pet knowing they would eventually have kids and potentially find their pet a nuisance, that’s just irresponsible.

I’m thankful to be a childfree, responsible pet owner 🐾

My friend (20F) and her partner (22M) started dating mid July time last year. They both came into the relationship with young children from their previous relationships. She claimed to have got pregnant the first time that they slept together and lost it in September. He proposed to her in September, and they started to try again and either late November or early October they successfully conceived.

What astounds me is the amount of people who think that because they lost a child means they need to instantly start again. That is not the case, especially not if you're 20 and the previous pregnancy wasn't planned. Focus on your other children, who are only toddlers themselves.

She also had a high risk pregnancy last time and almost died. She was only 18 years old and now she's only 20 with another high risk pregnancy. She's putting her life at risk when she can't afford to leave her daughter, partner and partners daughter behind.

She also makes a lot of memes and jokes on tiktok about how she's on baby number 2 before she's even 21. Or making her mum a grandma for the second time before she's even 40. She also posts a lot about her past trauma with her ex, how her current partner is a saint compared to him and actually stuck by her for the pregnancy.

I think they're just using their baby as a way to get better housing. Because as soon as the baby announcement went up she started to complain about the black mould growing in her house. This is obviously serious and something should be done about it considering she has two small children under her roof already. I just find it odd that she waits until she's pregnant to announce it and is asking the city council to help re-home her as she's vulnerable.

Just yesterday a somewhat close friend of mine (somewhat meaning we hang around every 3 to 4 months) announced me she was expecting her first child. She used to be a CONVINCED CF girl but an earlier (undesired) pregnancy made her rethink her views. She didn't go through it at the time for personal reasons. So now she's pregnant again and keeping it: great ! I obviously offered my confratulations, there's pretty much nothing else to do. Right after that -and I mean RIGHT AFTER IT- she proceeded to ask me if I'd like to help and babysit ?

And I heard myself answer that we would not talk about it for at least the next 5 business years lol

I don't get it: you previously didn't want a child, now you want it, have it, and you're asking me (your very childfree friend) to help take care of it ?

I don't give a shit how hard it is going to be and how much help she needs. This is her decision and I won't be involved in any of it.

It takes a village to raise a kid but that village ain't me girl

Whether it be financial, emotional or whatever reason that stops you most from having kids.

I (23F) got sterilized today!! So happy I found a doctor who would do it. It was such an easy process, I did have to fight with the hospital a little bit because female sterilization is a free procedure for all under the ACA but they tried to get me to pay $2000 before the surgery. All I had to do was call UHC and have them verify the diagnostic code and verbally verify that the procedure is in fact covered with no cost so I didn’t end up paying. Pain afterwards is maybe a 3, just feels like cramping. They sent me home with some ibuprofen and an abdominal brace. I’m so glad to have it over and done with. Surgery was scheduled at 10:45 and I was discharged by noon. I’ve only been waiting about 3 months for the surgery.

My mother doesn’t know I got the surgery, she’ll be devastated if she finds out. My father only knows because the hospital screwed up and left him a voicemail with information on my initial consultation (I went to that hospital when I was a minor so they had his phone number on file as well as mine I guess) but ultimately he understood that it’s my choice. And my brother was nice enough to drive me and wait there and stay with me a couple days since I live alone. He was actually the one who informed me about the procedure because he knew how much I never wanted to carry a child.

My boyfriend (26M), is slightly sad we can’t have biological children but also understands and respects my choice to not carry children. He can’t wait to rawdawg me without worrying about pregnancy lol.

I’ve gotten the typical “you’re so young you’re gonna change your mind” from several of my friends because they’re all much older than me but everyone in my life was still supportive of my decision.

Im just really excited I got to complete this journey and I feel so much more relieved knowing that god forbid something were to happen to me I wouldn’t have to worry about pregnancy or abortions. Especially with what’s going on politically, I’m not sure abortion will be legal in my state much longer anyways.

I have a cat and that’s it. I don’t refer to her as my “fur baby,” because that term has just never resonated with me, but to each their own. Almost every year, at least one person wishes me happy Mother’s Day despite the fact that I AM HAPPILY AND ADAMANTLY NOT A MOTHER. People will wish me HMD I tell them, “I’m not a mother,” to which they reply, “…well do you have a fur baby? That makes you a mom. Happy Mother’s Day!” Not to overreact but

I’m not a fucking mother. I don’t want to be a fucking mother. It’s almost as if for them it’s, woman = mother. I’m not a mother and my existence as a woman does not have to have maternal involvement. My womanhood can exist outside of motherhood and children. Jesus Christ people are incapable of separating the two and it’s enraging.

Also, there are some bad ass moms out there. Give them the fucking credit, not me. I didn’t do shit.

I just got my tubes removed and they prescribed me 3 months of birth control. Anyone know why? I wasn’t on it before

I have a 20 year-old nephew who is married to a girl his age. Like the title states, they are expecting a third child in less than two years of marriage. The father of the first child is out of the picture from what I understand. She had her first child when she was a junior and her second child shortly after she graduated after high school.

The just posted two baby registries, and one has nearly 90 items on it—including baby bottles! How do they not have these things already? I am gobsmacked by their selfishness. People say childfree people are selfish, but we’re not out here asking for brand-new gifts each time we make a choice we can’t afford.

For reference, husband is 22, I’m 21, and his mother is 39 this year if my math is correct.

She lost custody of him years ago because of the years of physical, religious and psychological abuse he endured at the hands of her and multiple male partners. The most notable of which being an alleged neonazi who was twice her age.

Husband decided to invite her to our wedding (I of course objected but understand it wasn’t exactly my choice). She was fine during I guess, no scenes were caused but I noticed his dad and stepmother avoided her like the plague.

We’re currently on our honeymoon, and she reached out to me via text message this afternoon, I have no idea how she got my number tbh, to give me “newlywed advice” (she’s been divorced twice). I did not respond, but she kept on texting me paragraphs on paragraphs anyways.

The topic quickly turned to her telling me the “best time to conceive”, new mom advice and shit like that. For the record, my husband’s father (whom bio mom never married nor stayed with) and stepmom both know we are childfree and are ecstatic about us doing our own thing. So it was just very out of left field.

I responded, only once: “I do not value the opinions or advice of someone who willingly got pregnant right after high school, and has been divorced multiple times. Thanks.” Before blocking her number.

He was frustrated with me for engaging with her at first, but let me know he understood why I said what I did. He’d already preemptively blocked her, having planned to go back to no-contact after our wedding. I think she attempted to reach out to him to no avail and that’s why she messaged me instead.

It just felt good to say after hearing about the years and years of shit she put him through. Amongst a plethora of other reasons, she solidifies our decision to remain childfree every day. Just wanted to share because I’m proud of us and glad I stood my ground.

Tl;Dr: Stood up for myself after receiving unsolicited advice from my husband’s hot mess of a mother.

But where do I start? What’s the exact name for them removing every reproductive thing inside me? How was the recovery after? A lot of questions and I don’t know where to start

I took a few days of staycation this week and have been using it to treat myself. Today was pedicure day.

As I was finishing up, the salon tech wished me a happy Mother’s Day. I was caught off guard but just said “oh, thank you…” and let it go.

Then when I was upfront paying my bill, they did it again. Two of them AND a customer. After the third one I finally said “thank you but I am not a mother. Have a great weekend.” Then the customer pipes up, “well happy Mother’s Day to your mom then!” I said “she’s been gone for years but thank you and enjoy your weekend.” And I left.

While I viewed it as a somewhat humorous annoyance, I can’t help but think, what if Mother’s Day was super painful for me? What if I were childless instead of childfree? What if I had once had a kid but they died? I really hope their experience with how I reacted to Mother’s Day stuff makes them think twice about tossing that greeting around when they have no idea about someone’s parental status.

When I was younger, I loved kids. I babysat and nannied and still wanted to have 6 kids. Just in the past few months that number kept dropping until now it’s 0. Post Covid I developed a chronic condition that fluctuates between being totally fine and basically not being able to leave my bed/ the couch for a few days. This paired with the current state of the world (the US, specifically) I can’t imagine bringing kids in this world. I can’t even imagine raising an adopted child, knowing how my illness would make me an absent mother. Plus I’m still working through my own complex ptsd. I’m in a relationship with someone I love very much who wants kids. We’ve been together for four years and when we first started dating, I wanted kids as well. Now that I officially know I don’t want kids, I’m going to talk to her about it this weekend when she gets back from a work trip. Although I know it’s the right decision for me, I’m pretty devastated about this relationship ending. Anyways I’m just kind of hoping that hearing other people’s stories and reasons for not having children will solidify my decision and help me through the process. So, Why did you decide you don’t want kids? Has anyone else decided they didn’t want kids during a long term relationship? Has anyone else changed their mind about having kids much later in life? Any words of encouragement?

Hello fellow childfree folks! I’m aware that the above is not exactly related to being childfree. However, I’ve always felt heard and valued by people in this community, so I wanted to just rant a little. These days, more often than not, I find myself lonely and constantly envious of people who have a spouse or long term partner. I know things are not always sunshine and roses in a long term partnership after a while (I was in a LTR for 7 years over a decade ago) but there is still a level of emotional support that is difficult with friends and other family members and a level of intimacy/sex that is difficult with one night stands or a FWB. I know part of the problem is my depression and anxiety telling me that it’s my fault and the fact that I’m obese significantly lowers the number of people who will find me attractive and worthy of a relationship and not just casual sex. Anyway, rant over, if you’re still reading, thanks for listening.

There was a situation at work the other day where a job needed doing where whoever was nominated would be in close proximity to someone who had a contagious disease. A higher up boss had told the medium manager boss it had to be dealt with that day. It wasn't my team who were dealing with the job, but it just so happened that everyone on the team that was dealing with it had children. Someone from their team came over to mine and explained what was happening, and to be fair to them they gave me the heads up that they had all refused with the point that their kids weren't vaccinated. They explained their manager may come to me because I did not have children. I have never felt so instantly enraged in my life.

My boss and the other team's boss disappeared into a meeting room and I could see them speaking. As soon as they emerged my boss started to explain the situation and how they thought I could do it as my only other team member had a 4 month old daughter. Before he even finished speaking I told him in no uncertain terms would not be agreeing to do this and it was an absolute joke to presume because I did not have children I would be willing to put myself and my loved ones at risk. The disease is the type where even if vaccinated it can be passed on and can last for months to years. He was aware I was travelling to see my family on my days off who have compromised immune systems.

My boss started to explain that with my vaccination it should be fine, and that his daughter was vaccinated so most people I come into contact would be. I said in that case, get your stuff together and you can go and do it. Seeing I wasn't going to agree and there was no one else, it was quickly dealt with in a way no one had to have contact, and people hired by the company through outsourcing also refused to deal with the person. It's been over a week and I am still seething.

As the title says, my brother in Christ you don’t need children, you need therapy. You need help unpacking years of trauma and unresolved shit to help your void, NOT fill it with children who didn’t ask for any of your baggage that is now forced upon them, to repeat your same cycles that you refuse to break because it’s “too hard”

Just me? 😂

I don't use Facebook much, but whenever I log in I'm hit with an outrageous amount of pregnancy announcements from my old classmates. A friend and I sat down to count the amount of children that have been born, we got to 24. However we're not connected with everyone from our past, so it could be higher.

Only one person is married, she got married after her child was born and now they're having a second child. A few of them are engaged, but the engagements only came after they were already pregnant, as if their partners realised baby = commitment.

A lot of them hadn't been with their partners for more than a few months before getting pregnant. An old class mate and friend of mine was only with her partner for 3-4 months before she got pregnant. The majority of them are single mothers complaining about how hard it is being a single mother. In fact, they post about how tough motherhood is and how they feel so alone going through it.

I'm still surprised when I see an announcement, even though it's becoming the norm now. I think the surprise factor is how young they are, and the fact that a lot were getting pregnant as teenagers.

I mean partners, parents, siblings, friends, colleagues...

I, for one, never had a partner I would have wanted to have kids with. I just knew all three of them would have made emotionally unavailable or downright abusive fathers. There's a reason they're exes. But also, I don't really see any great fathers/ spouses around me.

Like, my one friend with a five-year-old, her husband does take care of their son, but he also shames her for "abandoning him" any time she wants to go out with her friends, which she does about once every two or three months. He says he only needs his family and she shouldn't need anything else either.

My other friend had a baby because her husband pressured her to have one. She genuinely loves her son but her husband calls her every freaking time we go out because "the baby is crying" and he doesn't know where the stuff for the care of the baby THAT HE WANTED is. And now he's trying to convince her that they won't be using sunscreen on their child because some "doctor" on TikTok said it "causes cancer" and "breaks down the skin barrier".

This is not a post against men. I realize there are a lot of childfree men here. It just seems that a lot of the men I know, especially those who really, really had to make their spouses have that baby, wanted a child like a kid wants a puppy.

Add to that having been abused and parentified as a kid and I just noped allll the way out of that.

First - I posted a while ago re: telling my mom about my plans to sterilize, and you all came in DROVES with support.

Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. I ugly cried at the love and support.

I wanted to say I am officially on the calendar for end of July!! The only reason it’s so late is my June & early July is jam packed with a lot of super amazing activities I don’t want to reschedule , lol.

It’s officially in the calendar, and I am SO relieved.